老友记 第八季 Friends Season 8 第13集: 钱德泡澡记 The One Where Chandler Takes a Bath

上映日期: 2,001

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 爱情

导演: Kevin Bright

演员: 詹妮弗·安妮斯顿 / 柯特妮·考克斯 / 丽莎·库卓 / 马特·勒布朗 / 马修·派瑞 / 大卫·休默

All right, it's a new day. That stuff about Rachel?
好了 这是全新的一天 关于瑞秋那件事呢
You don't feel that now. It was crazy. You're fine. You're better than fine.
现在你没有感觉 那太疯了 你没事 你好的不得了
You are, as your friend Tony would say, "Great!"
没错 就像你朋友汤尼说的 "太帅了"
Everything's normal. She's just your friend, Rachel.
一切都很正常 瑞秋她只是你的朋友
Your friend, Rachel. Your friend. Rachel.
你的朋友瑞秋 你的朋友瑞秋
- Hi, sweetie. JOEY: Hey, it's your girlfriend, Rachel!
- 嗨 甜心 - 嗨 她是你女朋友瑞秋
# So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 #
# Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 #
# It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 #
# When it hasn't been your day, #
# 日复一日 年复一年 #
# your week, your month, or even your year #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 #
# but I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# 'Cause you're there for me too #
# 你我相偎相依 #
Are you...? Are you high?
I had the most amazing bath.
- Really? I don't like baths. - You like them with me.
- 真的吗 我不喜欢泡澡 - 你喜欢跟我泡鸳鸯浴
Honey, it's not the bath I enjoy. It's the wet, naked lady.
甜心 我不是喜欢泡澡 我喜欢看全身湿答答的裸体女人
- Baths are so relaxing. - Really? What do you do?
- 泡澡能让你放松 - 真的吗 你在里面做什么
You just sit in there, stewing in your own filth.
你坐在那里 被自己的脏水泡着
How dirty do you think I am?
If you had some candles and bubbles and music, you'd love it.
如果有蜡烛 泡泡跟音乐 你一定会喜欢它的
It'd take all your stress away.
It's 2:00 on Wednesday, I'm watching Road Rules.
现在是星期三两点 我正在看越野单车赛
How stressed am I?
Hey, Chandler. I really need to talk to you.
钱德 你有空吗 我真的需要跟你谈一谈
Oh, uh, yeah. Is this a cold pizza or a leftover-meat loaf talk?
对 这是冷比萨谈话 还是烤肉剩菜谈话
- Well, neither. - Oh, my God, what's up?
- 都不是 - 天啊 发生了什么事
I don't know. It's just... Lately, I've been feeling...
我不知道 那只是…最近我觉得…
Okay, here's what it is. Heh.
好吧 事情是这样的
- I feel a lot better. Thanks. - Wait a minute. Just come back.
- 我觉得好多了 谢谢 - 等一下 回来吧
Okay. You and Monica, friends for a long time.
好吧 你跟摩妮卡当了很久的朋友
And sure, there are rules. But then you went to London.
当然这是有规则的 之后你们去了伦敦
But that's different. There are rules there too, know what I mean?
但那不一样 这也是有规则的 你了解我的意思吗
Do you?
It was different for you guys. You were both in the same place.
对你们来说是不一样的 你们刚好去了同一个地方 对吧
- In London. - Yeah.
- 在伦敦 - 对
Yes, when Monica and I were in London, we were both in London.
对 摩妮卡跟我在伦敦时 我们刚好都在那里
This is a bad idea. Forget all about it.
你知道吗 这是个烂主意 算了
This conversation, between you and me.
听着 帮我一个忙 别把这件事说出去
If that.
Hi. Oh, Ross, don't forget that doctor's appointment.
罗斯 别忘了 明天我们要一起去产检
- Right. - To find out the sex of the baby?
- 好的 - 你们要知道宝宝的性别
We don't wanna know as long as it's happy and healthy.
不 我们不想知道 我们只在乎宝宝是不是健康快乐
- Yep, healthy. And cute. - And smart.
- 对 健康快乐 还有可爱 - 跟聪明
- Popular. - With an aptitude for science.
- 受欢迎 - 还要有科学精神
Are you two talking about the same baby?
- Have you thought of names? - Oh, yeah. I've come up with a bunch.
- 你们想到名字了吗 - 对 我想到一大堆
- Really? Me too. - Me too.
- 真的吗 我也是 - 我也是
If it's a girl, Phoebe. And if it's a boy, Pheebo.
如果是女孩就叫菲比 如果是男孩就叫菲宝
Maybe. But it wouldn't hurt to have a backup, you know?
或许吧 但想些备用名字 应该无伤大雅
- Rach, what were you thinking? - Okay.
- 瑞秋 你想到什么名字 - 好吧
Um, I was thinking if it's a girl...
...how about Sandrene? It's French.
叫她珊德妮好吗 那是法文
That's a really pretty name for an industrial solvent.
- Fine. What do you have? - It's for a boy.
- 好吧 你想到什么 - 我想到男生的名字
I know it's a little out there, but...
我知道稍微有点夸张 但是…
Our child will be beaten in the schoolyard.
天啊 我们的孩子会在操场上被打死
Yeah, by Sandrene.
对 被珊德妮打死
You're saying that because I said no to you.
I'm really, really not.
How about you each get five vetoes?
- All right. - That sounds fair.
- 好的 - 听起来很公平
I don't think you'll need it.
我想你不需要 听着
If it's a girl, Rain.
- Veto. - Why?
- 否决 - 为什么
Rain? "Hi, my name is Rain.
小雨 "嗨 我叫小雨
I have my own kiln, and my dress is made out of wheat."
我有自己的炉子 我的衣服是用麦子做的"
I know her!
I bought a homemade soap from her at a Dead show!
- Okay. How about for a guy, Thatcher? - Why do you hate our child?
- 好 如果是男孩就叫柴契尔 - 你为什么恨我们的孩子
- Fine, you go. - Okay. James.
- 好吧 轮到你了 - 詹姆斯
- But only if it's a girl. - Oh, veto.
- 但我可能生的是女孩 - 否决
I like Ruth. What about Ruth?
我喜欢萝丝 你觉得呢
Oh, I'm sorry. Are we having an 89-year-old?
抱歉 我们要生下个89岁的宝宝
- How about Dayton? - Veto. Stewart.
- 戴顿呢 - 否决 史都华
Veto. Sawyer.
否决 索耶
- Veto. Helen. - Veto.
- 否决 海伦 - 否决
Is it me, or is Veto starting to sound really good?
是我想歪了 还是"否决"会是个好名字
Boy, do I have a surprise for you.
天啊 我为你准备了一个大惊喜
Sex on the balcony?
No. But someone's not gonna get over that idea.
不 但有个人忘不了那个想法
- What? - I drew you a bath.
- 怎么了 - 我帮你放了洗澡水
I don't like baths. Could you draw me a picture of sex on the balcony?
我不喜欢洗澡 你愿意帮我画一幅阳台做爱图吗
Try it for me. I used all my best stuff.
拜托你试试看 我使出了全身解数
I lit candles, I put on music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath.
我点了蜡烛 放了音乐 用了浴盐跟泡泡澡
And got you this little plastic Navy ship! So it's a boy bath.
我还帮你找到海军模型船 这是男人会洗的澡
- This does butch it up a bit. - I swear, you will love it.
- 这稍微有点男人味 - 我发誓你试过后一定会爱上它
If I do this, can we discuss balcony sex?
如果我这么做 我们能不能讨论在阳台上做爱的事
But I know how that discussion's gonna go.
# Who can say where the road goes? #
# 谁能说这条路在何方 #
All right, this isn't bad. I like the flowery smell.
好吧 这还不赖 我喜欢花香味
Which is okay, because I've got my boat.
没关系 因为我有我的船
- So? - Oh, my God.
- 怎么样 - 我的天啊
I told you you were a bath person. Hey, maybe I can give you a facial.
我说过你会喜欢洗澡 或许我可以帮你做脸
I'm gonna need a bigger boat.
I don't think you had an open mind about Ruth.
Little Ruthie Geller? How cute is that?
拜托嘛 小萝丝·盖勒 可爱吧
Oh, my God, I can practically hear the mahjong tiles.
天啊 我可以听到麻将声
All your tests look fine. Are you interested in the sex of the baby?
好了 检查结果都很正常 你们想知道宝宝的性别吗
- No, we're not. - You have it right there?
- 我们不想知道 - 但病历里面有记录
You know if it's a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrene? Phoebe or Pheebo?
你告诉我们是男孩或是女孩 戴顿或珊德妮 菲比或菲宝
But if you don't wanna know...
没错 如果你们不想知道
- No, we wanna wait. Right? - Right. Right.
- 不 我们要等 对吧 - 对
Oh, I'll be right back.
I know it's really not my place...
...but please don't name your child Pheebo.
So, which of these babies is the ugliest?
What? Rach, come on, that's terrible.
什么 瑞秋 那太可怕了
They're babies. They're all beautiful.
他们是宝宝 他们都很可爱
- Third one from the left? - Yeah. Why is it staring at me?
- 左边数过来第三个 - 对 它为什么要盯着我看
I think it knows I'm talking about it. Don't you...? You're looking!
我想它知道我在说它 你不…你在偷看
- I didn't! - I saw you!
- 我没有 - 我看到了
Fine, I did, but I didn't see anything.
好吧 我在偷看 但我什么都没有看到
Shame on you! Ugly baby judges you!
你太可耻了 丑宝宝唾弃你
- But I didn't... - Don't tell me! I don't wanna know!
- 好吧 听我说 我没有… - 别告诉我 我不想知道
I couldn't, because I don't know!
我想说也没办法说 因为我不知道
I swear I didn't see anything! It was just a momentary lapse.
我发誓我什么都没看到 我不想知道 刚刚我是一时糊涂
"Momentary lapse." Don't you have any self-control?
一时糊涂 你不懂得自制吗
Okay. A couple months late on the lecture, Ross.
好吧 现在跟我说教 已经迟了好几个月 罗斯
Can you come in here? There's something wrong.
我在浴室 你能进来一下吗 我觉得不太对劲
You know what? I think I'll wait out here.
你知道吗 我在这里等
I'm in the bathtub.
- What's wrong? - I drew a bath, but I did it wrong.
- 怎么了 - 我自己放洗澡水 但我没有弄对
The water's tepid, the salt didn't dissolve and is now lodged places.
水温温的 浴盐无法溶解 现在它们结块了
And the scents I used don't compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomile? Oh!
我用的香味闻起来很不协调 尤加利树跟甘菊
- What? - Bath salts.
- 什么 - 浴盐
They're starting to effervesce.
It's different. It's interesting.
感觉完全不同 这真的很有趣
Let's talk about something else.
好吧 我们谈谈别的事
Yeah. Sure. So, what was going on with you today?
当然 今天你过得还好吧
I actually had the weirdest conversation with Joey.
He was talking about rules and right and wrong.
- I had the same conversation. - What was he talking about?
- 我也跟他谈过 - 是吗 他到底在说什么
He hasn't had this much trouble getting out words since he was in Macbeth.
自从他演过马克白后 我还没看过他说不出话的样子
That was a long night.
All right, let's break this down. What exactly did he say to you?
好吧 我们来谈谈这件事 他到底跟你说了什么
He was talking about rules and looking at people differently.
他说到规则 对别人有不同的看法
- Not to me. - What'd he tell you?
- 他没有跟我说那个 - 他跟你说了什么
He asked about you, me and London.
And the glue that holds this all together, the rules.
我们是怎么开始的 还有规则
Okay. So you, me and London.
好吧 你跟我在伦敦
Looking at people differently.
Maybe he wants to do what you and I did in London.
But what'd he mean by "rules"?
Wait. He stopped talking the minute Phoebe came in.
等一下 菲比走进来时他就不说了
- He's looking at her differently. - Phoebe is his friend.
- 因为他用不同的眼光看她 - 菲比是他的朋友
That'd be breaking the rules.
My God, he wants to do it with Phoebe in London!
天啊 他想跟菲比在伦敦上床
- You guys? - Um, just a minute!
- 你们在哪里 - 等一下
- That's Mrs. Tribbiani. - You don't say anything.
- 崔比亚尼太太来了 - 什么都别说
Why would I? That two of our friends could start a great love affair?
我为什么要说 我们的两个好朋友要真正地谈恋爱
They'd have me to thank. Then we could all start having babies!
他们会谢谢我 然后我们可以开始做宝宝
- I won't let you say anything. - Stay here.
- 我不要你告诉她 - 你待在这里
Oh, God!
Oh. I brought back your iron.
摩妮卡 我拿熨斗来还你
You had that? I thought I lost it. I got a new one a month ago.
是你把它拿走的 我以为弄丢了 一个月前买了一个新的
Oh, just as well. I broke this one.
太好了 我把它弄坏了
- What? - Nothing.
- 什么 - 没事
I really shouldn't say. I'm really not supposed to.
我真的不该说 我不应该说出来的
- It's a humdinger. - Too bad you can't tell me.
- 这是个好消息 - 可惜你不能告诉我
Somebody likes you!
- Ugh. Is it Chandler? - No!
- 是钱德吗 - 不
- Then tell him to stop staring. - It's Joey.
- 叫他别再盯着我看 - 是乔伊
Really? Joey? You don't say.
真的吗 乔伊 你骗人
- Would you be interested? - I don't know, I don't know.
- 你会有兴趣吗 - 我不知道
You know, I mean, on the one hand, "Mother, may I?"
我是说我在想 "天啊 我可以吗"
But, you know, on the other hand...
No. No, I can't. We're friends.
不行 我们是朋友
Oh, no. I don't wanna risk what we have.
不 我不能冒险 失去我们现在的友谊
I guess that makes sense. You think you're gonna talk to him?
我猜你说的对 你会跟他谈一谈吗
Sure. I mean, it's Joey. I don't want him to get hurt.
当然 他是乔伊 我不希望他受伤害
Well, I must say, I am on fire! First Chandler, now Joey.
我得说我真的很辣 先是钱德 现在又是乔伊
- Not Chandler. Just Joey. - Sure.
- 没有钱德 只有乔伊 - 当然
- Hi. - Hey.
- 嗨 - 嘿
You know what? I'm coming around on the name Ruth.
你知道吗 我想过了 我接受萝丝这个名字
I'd consider naming our child that.
Rach, I can't tell you how much that means to me. Oh...
瑞秋 我无法告诉你 这对我来说意义有多么重大
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
等一下 等一下
You hated the name Ruth. Why would you change your mind?
你讨厌萝丝这个名字 你为什么会改变心意
Unless you know we're never gonna have to use it.
除非你知道 我们用不着它
You did see. You know it's a boy!
你看到了 你知道宝宝是男孩
I didn't see anything. I changed my mind.
我什么都没有看到 我真的是改变了心意
I don't think so. You're giving me Ruth...
我不那么认为 你答应让我选萝丝
...so you get to name him when it's a boy.
如果你生了儿子 你可以帮他取名字
That's when you'll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
那时候你会决定叫他 海瑟 布兰恩或史奎亚
I would... Sequoia!
- Veto. - Fine.
- 否决 - 好吧
Unless you anticipated that I would figure all this out...
除非… 你知道我会看穿你的阴谋
...and you know that it actually is a girl.
And you really do want her to be named Ruth.
Well, I'm not falling for that! Okay? Ruth is off the table!
我才不会上当 好吧 我们不考虑萝丝
- But, Ross, you want the name Ruth. - Not like this!
- 但罗斯 你要萝丝这个名字 - 现在我不要了
- Hey. - Hey. What's up?
- 嗨 - 嗨 怎么了
- Um, Joey, I know. - What?
- 乔伊 我知道了 - 什么
- I know. - What?
- 我知道了 - 什么
- I know about your feelings. - Oh, my God, you do?
- 我了解你的感觉 - 天啊 真的吗
I'm sorry. Things worked out for Chandler and Monica, but that's rare.
很遗憾 虽然钱德跟摩妮卡成功了 但那是少有的例子
I know. And this is so much more complicated than it was for them.
我知道 这比他们的情况复杂多了
I mean, it's Rachel, for God's sakes.
我是说她是瑞秋 天啊
For God's sakes, it's Rachel!
天啊 是瑞秋
I know! She's not only my friend, she's my pregnant friend.
我知道 她不只是我的朋友 她是我的孕妇朋友
She's my pregnant friend who's Ross' ex!
她是我的孕妇朋友 还是罗斯的前女友
Yeah, that's Rachel. Beat me over the head with it.
对 那就是瑞秋 我真的被搞糊涂了
What am I gonna do? I keep trying to get rid of these feelings.
我该怎么办 我试着不去想这些事
I made a list of everything I don't like about her.
昨晚我整夜没睡 试着写出我不喜欢她的地方
- You wanna hear it? - Yeah.
- 你想听听看吗 - 好
"She made me switch to light mayo." That's it! That's all I got!
"她要我改吃低卡美乃滋" 就那样 我只想到那个
You know what? Tastes the same and my pants fit better.
你知道吗 味道一样 但我的裤子松多了
Joey, you're getting upset for nothing.
乔伊 我觉得你是庸人自扰
- This is probably just a crush. - You think?
- 或许你只是被爱情冲昏了头 - 你真的那么认为
Absolutely. You get this rush of feelings, but it goes away.
当然 你只是一时昏了头 但那种感觉会消失的
Yeah, just a crush. That's all this is. It's a crush!
对 我只是冲昏了头 没错 我只是冲昏了头
I'm Joey. I don't get deep feelings.
我是乔伊 我不会玩真的
There you go. Crushes happen all the time.
好了 人常会被冲昏了头
I've had them for all you guys. Except for Ross and Chandler.
我对你们这些男生也会有那种感觉 罗斯跟钱德除外
- And I'm sure you've had them for us. - Not really.
- 我相信你对我们也是 - 不尽然
Throw me a bone here.
So I, uh... I called the doctor.
- Now we both know the sex of the baby. - What?
- 现在我们都知道宝宝的性别 - 什么
That's right. The student has become the master.
没错 我是青出于蓝而胜于蓝
- Ross, I swear. I don't know. - Oh, come on, you know it's a girl.
- 罗斯 我发誓真的不知道 - 少来了 你知道宝宝是女孩
- A what? - You really didn't know?
- 什么 - 你真的不知道
- We're having a girl? - No.
- 我们要有个女儿了 - 不
- That's what you said. - No.
- 你是那么说的 - 不
- You said girl. - Yes. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
- 你说是女孩 - 对 我真的很抱歉
I'm not! We're having a girl!
没关系 我们要有个女儿了
Sometimes I can't believe it's with you, but still, we're having a girl!
有时候我不敢相信孩子的爸是你 但我们要有个女儿了
I know! You know what? I'm putting Ruth back on the table.
我知道 你知道吗 我要重新考虑萝丝这个名字
Yes, we'll have ourselves a little baby Ruth.
对 我们要生下小萝丝了
- Permission to veto. - Yes, please.
- 允许否决 - 好吧 否决
- Hey. - Do I smell essential oils?
- 嘿 - 这是精油味吗
I'm gonna take a bath. I was gonna get a magazine.
对 我要去洗澡 我想拿本杂志
What do you think you're doing?
Leaving my troubles behind?
You're new at this, but this is unacceptable bath decorum.
我知道你是新手 但这不合乎洗澡的礼仪
It's so hard to care when you're this relaxed.
在这么轻松的感觉下 我真的什么都不在乎了
You can have the bath, but I am taking your boat.
好吧 你可以洗澡 但我要拿走你的船
Now you're just a girl in a tub.
- Hey! - Hi, bubbles. Manly.
- 嘿 - 嗨 泡泡澡 太有男子气概了
I thought I'd let you know how it went.
- You told her? - She pulled it out of me!
- 你跟她说了 - 是她套我的
She's like a conversational wizard! How did it go?
她真的很会逼别人 结果如何
- You were wrong. He doesn't like me. - What?
- 你错了 他不喜欢我 - 什么
How would you like it if I told you that Lee Majors liked you...
你会有什么感觉 如果我把你送到李·梅杰斯的家
...and I told you he liked you and you went there...
我告诉你他喜欢你 你跑进去…
...and you found out that he didn't like you? How would you feel?
发现他并不喜欢你 你会有什么感觉
- I don't think I'd care. - Really? Lee Majors is hot.
- 我想我不会在乎 - 真的吗 李·梅杰斯很性感
- Hello? - We're in the bathroom!
- 哈罗 - 我们在浴室里
- Why? - Because it's a relaxing and enjoyable time!
- 为什么 - 因为它既轻松又有趣
- What are you guys doing in here? - Oh, my God.
- 你们在这里做什么 - 天啊
A friend he's looking at differently, but it's wrong.
他对一个朋友的感觉不一样 但那是不对的
- It's Rachel! - You like Rachel?
- 是瑞秋 - 你喜欢瑞秋
It's no big deal. Phoebe and I talked.
那没什么了不起的 菲比跟我谈过
It's a crush. It'll go away.
我只是冲昏了头 我会清醒过来的
Dude, you gotta rearrange your bubbles.
天啊 你重点部位的泡泡散开了
Mazel tov.
Hey. Oh, hi. Ross and I were looking for you.
嘿 罗斯跟我在找你们
What are we all doing in here? Oh, my.
我们在这里做什么 天啊
Honey, cover it up with the boat.
We're all in here, and we'd love for you to join us!
我们都在这里 希望你能加入我们
Well, hey! What's going on? Oh, cool boat. Oh, no.
嘿 发生了什么事 很酷的船 不
- Did you tell them? - I waited for you.
- 你告诉他们了吗 - 不 我在等你
- Tell us what? - We're having a girl.
- 告诉我们什么 - 我们怀的是女儿
Oh, wow! Really? Oh, my God!
哇 真的吗
I'll get you later.
All right. It's a new day. And it's just a crush.
好吧 这是全新的一天 我只是被冲昏了头
That's all. Just a little crush.
没错 我冲昏了头
All that worrying I was doing? That was crazy. Crazy.
我到底在担心什么 那太疯狂了
Like my friend the bird here would say, "It was cuckoo!"
我的小鸟朋友会说 "那跟疯子一样“
Everything's gonna be fine. It's just a crush.
一切都会没事 我只是冲昏了头
- Hi, sweetie. - I love you.
- 嗨 甜心 - 我爱你
It's nice to do this together, isn't it?
我们能一起这么做 真的很棒吧
Yeah. And what you're doing feels so good.
对 你让我感觉很好
- I'm not touching you. - You're not?
- 我没有碰你 - 是吗
- It's the salts. - Sweet Lord, new realms of pleasure.
- 那是浴盐 - 天啊 那是愉悦新领域
Whatever keeps you off the balcony, big guy.
只要能让你忘了阳台的事就行了 大男人