老友记 第八季 Friends Season 8 第18集: 马沙皮卡市 The One In Massapequa

上映日期: 2,001

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 爱情

导演: Kevin Bright

演员: 詹妮弗·安妮斯顿 / 柯特妮·考克斯 / 丽莎·库卓 / 马特·勒布朗 / 马修·派瑞 / 大卫·休默

Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parents' anniversary party?
- Sure. - Yeah.
- 没问题 - 好啊
- Who's the guy? - Parker, I met him at the dry cleaners.
- 你要带谁去 - 派克 我们在洗衣店里认识
Did he put a little starch in your bloomers?
Who said that?
No, he's really great, though. He has this incredible zest for life.
不 但他真的很棒 他对生命非常狂热
And he treats me like a queen.
Except at night, when he treats me like the naughty girl I am.
Oh, by the way, would it be okay if I give the toast this year?
Are you sure you want to after what happened at their 20th?
- Yeah, I'd really like to. - Hopefully this time Mom won't boo you.
- 我真的很想 - 希望这次妈不会嘘你
Yes. Every year Ross makes the toast, and it always makes them cry.
对 每年都是罗斯致词 他把他们都弄哭了
- This year, I'm gonna make them cry. - You wonder why Ross is their favorite?
- 今年我要把他们弄哭 - 你不知道为什么最爱罗斯吗
No, really, any time Ross makes a toast, everyone cries and pats him on the back.
只要罗斯一致词 大家都会哭着拍他的背
And they all come up to me and say, "God, your brother."
他们都来跟我说 "天啊 你哥哥"
You know what they're gonna say this year? "God, you."
你知道今天他们今年会怎么说吗 "天啊 你"
Well, I can promise you, at least one person will be crying.
I'm an actor, and any actor worth his salt can cry on cue.
我是演员 演员随时都可以哭
- Really? You can do that? - Oh, you kidding me? Watch.
- 真的吗 你做的到吗 - 你是在开玩笑吗 看着
Well, I can't do it with you guys watching me.
你们盯着我看 我办不到
# So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 #
# Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 #
# It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 #
# When it hasn't been your day, #
# 日复一日 年复一年 #
# your week, your month, or even your year #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 #
# but I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# 'Cause you're there for me too #
# 你我相偎相依 #
- What are you doing? - I'm working on my toast for the party.
- 你在做什么 - 我在写我的演讲稿
Or as I like to call it: "Sob-fest 2002."
或许我该叫它 "2002年最佳催泪弹"
- Hey, check this out. - It's a dog.
- 你看 - 是小狗
It's a dead dog.
That's Chi-Chi. She died when I was in high school.
- You're gonna talk about their dead pet? - It's good stuff, huh?
- 你爸妈的结婚周年 你要谈一只死狗 - 那个主题不错吧
- Hi. - Hey.
- 大家好 - 嘿
Joey? You got a present for my parents? That's so sweet.
乔伊 你准备好要送我爸妈的礼物了吗
Yeah. In honor of their 35th anniversary, I had a star named after them.
为了纪念他们结婚35周年 我用他们的名字帮星星取名
- That is so cool. - And I got them Kama Sutra for the Elderly.
- 那真的太酷了 - 我还买了老年人的性爱宝典
- Do you guys have any extra ribbon? - Oh, yeah, sure.
- 你们有多余的缎带吗 - 当然有
What do you need? We got, uh, lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt...
你要什么 我们有蕾丝 缎子 棉布 亚麻 条纹布 你…
And I think my testicles may be in here too.
我想我的蛋蛋 应该也在这里
AW. Chi-Chi. Oh, I loved this dog.
琪琪 我爱这只狗
You know, uh, Monica couldn't get braces because Chi-Chi needed knee surgery.
摩妮卡没办法装牙套 因为琪琪得动膝盖手术
- What? - You were the 200-pounder who rode her.
- 什么 - 你是骑着他跑的两百磅重大胖子
Hey. Everybody, this is Parker. Parker, this is...
大伙们 他是派克 派克 这是…
No, wait, don't tell me. Let me guess: Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel...
不 别告诉我 让我猜 乔伊 摩妮卡 罗斯 瑞秋…
...and I'm sorry, Phoebe didn't mention you.
对不起 菲比没有提过你
Chandler, I'm kidding. Already you're my favorite.
钱德 我是在开玩笑 你已经是我的最爱了
- Tell me a little about yourselves. - Uh, actually, we should get going.
- 跟我谈谈你的事 - 事实上 我们该走了
Classic Ross.
Rachel, Rachel, look how you glow. May I?
瑞秋 你好漂亮 我可以吗
I think you already are.
Rachel, you have life growing inside you.
瑞秋 你体内孕育着一个小生命
Is there anything more miraculous... Ooh, a picture of a dog. Whose is this?
有什么更神奇… 一张狗照片 这是谁的狗
That's my old dog. He passed away years ago.
那是我以前养的狗 他在好几年前过世了
Well, at least you were lucky to have him. Bow-wow, old friend. Bow-wow.
至少你很幸运能拥有他 贱狗 我的老朋友
- So where's the party? - Out on the island. It's in Massapequa.
- 派对在哪里举行 - 在 马沙皮卡
Massapequa, it sounds magical. Is it steeped in Native American history?
马沙皮卡 听起来像魔法 是美国原住民历史上的名胜吗
Well, there is an Arby's in the shape of a tepee.
- I've got my notes. You got the presents? - Yeah.
- 我拿了纸条 你拿了礼物吗 - 拿了
- I've got the car keys. - We're driving?
- 我拿了车钥匙 - 我们要开车吗
- Yeah. - Aces.
- 对 - 太棒了
- So, uh, he seems like a nice guy. - Yeah. Yeah, I like him a lot.
- 他似乎是个好人 - 对 我很喜欢他
- You want to hang back and take a cab? - Okay, otherwise I'm not going.
- 你想留晚一点搭计程车去吗 - 好吧 不然我不想去了
- Hey, Mom. - This is such a great party.
- 嘿 妈 - 这个派对真的很棒
Thirty-five years. Very impressive. Do you guys have any pearls of wisdom?
35年 太棒了 你们有什么至理名言吗
- Jack? - Why serve food on such a sharp stick?
- 杰克 - 为什么食物上要插着牙签
It's a good question, Dad. It's a good question.
那是个好问题 爸爸 那是个好问题
- Congratulations, you two. - Thank you, we're so excited.
- 恭喜你们 - 谢谢 我们很兴奋
And also, congratulations on your wedding.
- Can we talk to you for just a moment? - Yeah.
- 我们能跟你们谈一下吗 - 好吧
It's just a little thing.
While we think it's simply marvelous that you're having this baby out of wedlock...
...some of our friends are less open-minded.
- Which is why we told them you're married. - What?
- 我们告诉他们你们结婚了 - 什么
Thanks for going along with this.
- We have to pretend that we're married? - Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight.
- 我们得假装我们结婚了 - 我为了今晚必须要刮耳毛
You can do this.
- Can you believe that? - I know.
- 你能相信吗 - 我知道
If you're gonna do the ears, you may as well take a pass at the nose area.
如果你要掏耳朵 最好顺便挖一下鼻子
No, no, I don't want to have to lie about us being married.
I know. I don't either. But it's their party, and it's one night.
我也不想 但这是他们的派对 而且只有一晚而已
We don't even have to lie. We just won't say anything.
我们不必说谎 我们只要不说话
If it comes up, we'll smile, we'll nod along...
如果有人提起 我们只要微笑点头…
- Ross? - Rachel?
- 罗斯 - 瑞秋
Hi, Aunt Lisa. Uncle Dan.
嗨 丽莎阿姨 丹姨丈
Congratulations on the baby and on the wedding.
恭喜你们怀孕 还结了婚
- Here's something to get you started. - So how's marriage treating you?
- 这是个好开始 - 你们婚后还好吧
- Unbelievable. It's great. - I love marriage.
- 不可思议 太棒了 - 我们喜欢结婚
We'll see you later.
- Hey. - Hi.
- 嘿 - 嗨
What a beautiful place. What a great night.
好漂亮的地方 好棒的夜晚
I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C...
我得告诉你们 能跟你们一起在C宴会厅…
...I feel so lucky. To think of all the good times that have happened here.
我觉得好幸运 想想这里曾有过的美好时光
The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs, both bar and bat.
生日 毕业舞会 犹太教成人礼 男生跟女生的
But none of it will compare with tonight. My God, I don't want to forget this moment.
通通都比不上今晚 我不想忘了它
It's like I want to take a mental picture of you all. Click.
我想在我心里 帮你们拍张照 喀擦
I don't think the flash went off.
- I'm gonna go find the men's room. - I'll go with you.
- 我要去男洗手间 - 我跟你一起去
Somewhere, there is someone with a tranquilizer gun...
有人躲在某个地方 拿着麻醉枪…
...and a huge butterfly net looking for that man.
跟大蝴蝶网 在找那个家伙
I have to go too, but I don't want him complimenting my thing.
我也想上厕所 但我不想让他夸奖我的小弟弟
I'm so glad we weren't in the car. Did he ever let up?
还好我们没在车上 他发作了吗
He called the Long Island Expressway a concrete miracle.
This room. This night.
这个房间 今晚
That waiter. His shoes. I must take a mental picture.
服务生 他的鞋子 我得用心拍张照片
Were you guys making fun of Parker?
That depends, how much did you hear?
Well, he's a little enthusiastic. What's wrong with that?
他是有点狂热 那有什么不对
- It's just... It's so much. - Well, so what? I like him.
- 他太过火了 - 那又怎么样 我喜欢他
Do I make fun of the people you've dated? Tag, Janice, Mona.
我会取笑你们的约会对象吗 泰格 珍妮丝 蒙娜
No, because friends don't do that. But do you want my opinion?
不 因为朋友不会那么做 你们想知道我的想法吗
In my opinion, your collective dating record reads like a who's who of human crap.
- I feel terrible. - I know.
- 我觉得好难过 - 我知道
What was wrong with Mona?
- Open it, open it, open it. - Yeah, baby.
- 快打开 - 好的 宝贝
So we never got to hear about your wedding.
- We were surprised we weren't invited. - Oh, no, it was just our parents.
- 我们很讶异我们没有被邀请 - 不 只有父母
It was a small wedding.
But it was beautiful. It was small, but kind of spectacular.
但很美 简单而精致
- Where did you have it? - On a cliff in Barbados, at sunset.
- 你们在哪里举行婚礼 - 在巴巴多斯悬崖上的黄昏婚礼
And Stevie Wonder sang "isn't She Lovely" as I walked down the aisle.
我走上红毯时 史提夫·汪达唱着"她真美"
- Really? - Yeah.
- 真的吗 - 对
- Stevie's an old family friend. - Oh, my God. That sounds amazing.
- 史提夫是我们家的朋友 - 天啊 那真的是太棒了
- I'd love to see pictures. - Yeah, so would I.
- 我想看照片 - 对 我也是
You wouldn't think that Annie Leibovitz would forget to put film in the camera.
你们不会相信 安妮·莱波维兹忘了装底片
Would you excuse us for a second?
- Um, what are you doing? - What? I'm not you.
- 你在做什么 - 什么 我又不是你
This may be the only wedding leverhave.
- And I want it to be amazing. - Okay. Okay. Ooh. Ooh.
- 我希望它真的很棒 - 好吧
Maybe I rode in on a Harley.
Okay, Ross, it has to be realistic.
罗斯 我们得编得很像真的
Say, uh, ahem, are you okay? You seem kind of quiet.
你好吗 你似乎很安静
- No, I'm fine. I'm great. I'm with you. - And I'm with you.
- 我没事 我跟你在一起 - 我跟你在一起
What a great time to be alive.
Look at this plate bouncy thing.
What an inspired solution to man's plate-dispensing problems.
Mm-hm. Yeah.
- Ah. Oysters. Let me feed you one. - That's not necessary.
- 生蚝 让我来喂你 - 你不必那么做
- Please? - No, actually, I don't eat...
- 拜托 - 我不吃…
- I won't quit until you try one. - Okay, fine, fine.
- 你不吃的话我绝不罢休 - 好吧
- Mm. Mm-hm. Good. - What're they like? I've never had one.
- 很好 - 它们是什么味道 我从来没吃过
- Why don't you just try one? - Nah, they look too weird.
- 试试看 - 它们看起来好奇怪
- What are you doing? - Just going over my toast.
- 你在做什么 - 准备我的演讲
Ah, those two will never know what hit them.
I can't wait. They're gonna cry so hard, they'll be fighting for breath.
我等不及了 他们会痛哭流涕 他们会喘不过气来
You know, if you want to, I could just hold them down and you could just:
如果你要的话 我可以抓住他们 让你…
And my veil was lace, made by blind Belgian nuns.
我戴的蕾丝婚纱 是由比利时盲修女织的
- Blind? - Well, not at first, but it was intricate work.
- 瞎眼 - 本来不是的 但这工作非常伤眼力
And they said even though they lost their sight, it was all worth it.
她们说虽然她们眼睛瞎了 但这还是很值得的
- I bet you looked beautiful. - Oh, well, I don't know about that.
- 我敢说你看起来很漂亮 - 我不知道
But there were some people that said I looked like a floating angel.
- How did you propose? - Oh, yeah, that's a great story.
- 你怎么求婚的 - 对 那是个很棒的故事
Well, um, actually, I took her to the planetarium.
事实上 我带她去看太阳系模型展
That's where we had our first date.
Um, she walked in, and I had the room filled with, uh, lilies, her favorite flower.
- That is so sweet. - Shh. I want to hear the rest.
- 那真的太棒了 - 我还想听
Then Fred Astaire singing, uh, "The Way You Look Tonight"...
佛列德·艾斯塔唱着 "你今晚的样子"…
...came on the sound system and the lights came down...
...and I got on one knee...
...and written across the dome, in the stars, were the words:
"Will you marry me?"
"你愿意嫁给我吗 "
And the ring was the size of my fist.
Hey, uh, Phoebe? Look, uh...
菲比 听着…
...I want to apologize about before, okay? We were being jerks.
我想道歉 好吗 我们太坏了
Parker's a nice guy, and I'd like to get to know him.
派克人很好 我想多了解他
Then you better do it now.
- Why? - Because I'm gonna kill him.
- 为什么 - 因为我要杀了他
- What? - You guys were right. He's just too excited about everything.
- 什么 - 他对所有事都太热衷了
I mean, I'm all for living life, but this is the Gellers' 35th anniversary.
我也很热爱生命 但这是盖勒夫妇结婚35周年派对
Let's call a spade a spade. This party stinks.
就算我们扯平了 这个派对烂透了
I know. I'm having the worst time.
There was a 15-minute line for the buffet, and when I finally got up to the plates...
大家排队拿食物 我拿到盘子时…
...I slipped on a giant booger.
Are you sure it wasn't an oyster?
I guess it could've been. I didn't really look at it.
有可能 我没看
I just wiped it on Chandler's coat and got the hell out of there.
我把它抹在钱德的外套上 拔腿就溜
I just thought he was such a great guy. I was so excited about him.
我还以为他是个好人 我对他真的很期待
Well, hey, you should be excited about him.
嘿 你应该对他充满期待
There's nothing wrong with him. He's a good guy.
- You think? - Yeah, know what I think?
- 真的吗 - 对 你知道吗
- We were all just being too negative. - You're right.
- 我们太悲观了 - 你说的对
You're right. He's just embracing life. We could all stand to be more like Parker.
他只是在拥抱生命 我们可以跟派克学习
You know what? I am like him. I'm a sunny, positive person.
你知道吗 我就跟他一样 我是个乐观的人
- Actually, you have a little bit of an edge. - What's that now?
- 事实上 你说的对 - 那是什么
- Oh, it's Parker. - Look, the Bunny Hop.
- 是派克 - 看 兔子舞
- Oh, I love it. - You do?
- 我喜欢 - 是吗
Are you kidding? People acting like animals to music? Come on.
你在开玩笑吗 跟着音乐学动物跳舞 来吧
Okay, it's time for the toast.
好吧 该致词了
I know that normally Ross gives the toast, but this year I'm gonna do it.
我知道一向都是由罗斯来致词 但今年由我来
No, it's gonna be great. Really.
不 这真的很棒
Okay, um...
Mom, Dad, when I got married...
妈 爸 我结婚时…
...one of the things that made me sure that I could do it...
...was the amazing example the two of you set for me.
For that, and for so many other things, I wanna say thank you.
为了那一点及其他事 我要感谢你们
I know I probably don't say it enough...
...but I love you.
When I look around this room...
...I'm saddened by the thought of those who could not be with us.
Nana, my beloved grandmother, who would so want to be here.
我亲爱的外婆 她真的很想来
But she can't...
...because she's dead.
As is our dog, Chi-Chi.
还有我们的狗 琪琪
I mean, look how cute she is... Was.
你们看他多可爱… 那是过去的事了
Do me a favor, pass this to my parents.
帮我一个忙 请把这个传给我爸妈
Remember, um, she's dead, okay? Her and Nana, gone.
记住他死了 好吗 他跟外婆都死了
Hey, does anybody remember when...
...Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment?
Didn't see that?
No movie fans?
You want to hear something sad?
Um, the other day I was watching 60 Minutes...
...and there was this piece on these orphans in Romania...
...who have been so neglected that they were incapable of love.
他们受到忽视 以致于无法爱人
You people are made of stone.
Here's to Mom and Dad. Whatever.
敬爸妈 随便啦
Thank you, Monica. That was, uh, interesting.
谢谢摩妮卡 那真的是太有趣了
- Wasn't it interesting, Jack? - Why don't I remember this dog?
- 那很有趣吧 杰克 - 为什么我不记得这只狗
Ross? Why don't you give us your toast now?
罗斯 你为什么不为我们致词
Oh, no, Mom. It's just Monica this year.
不 妈 今年轮到摩妮卡了
You're not gonna say anything? On our 35th wedding anniversary?
在我们35周年派对上 你不致词吗
No, of course, um...
Um, everybody? Um, ahem, I just wanted to say...
大伙们 我只是想…
...uh, on behalf of my new bride, Rachel...
...and myself, um, that if...
If in 35 years, we're half as happy as you guys are...
如果我们结婚35年后 有你们一半幸福…
...we'll count ourselves the luckiest people in the world.
Oh, Ross.
I just wish Nana were alive to hear Ross' toast.
希望外婆还活着 听到罗斯的致词
My God, what a fantastically well-lit hallway.
天啊 这个走廊的灯光真漂亮
Can I, um, get you something to drink, like a water and Valium?
你需要喝点东西吗 譬如水跟镇静剂
I must say, this apartment, it's...there are no words.
它… 我得说这间公寓 我不知道该怎么形容
- Oh, thank God. - It's a haven.
- 谢天谢地 - 是个天堂
- A third-floor paradise, a modern-day Eden. - Yeah, I know, I know. Uh-huh. Gotcha.
- 位于三楼的天堂 现代伊甸园 - 我知道 我了解
Listen, why don't we just, um, sit and relax,
听着 我们为什么不坐下来放轻松
you know, just be with each other quietly.
That sounds great.
My God, this is the most comfortable couch I've ever sat on in my entire life.
Let's try something else. Let's play a game.
我们试试别的点子 我们来玩游戏
- I love games. - Shocking.
- 我喜欢玩游戏 - 太棒了
Um, let's play the game of...
...who can stay quiet the longest.
Or Jenga.
Let's play this one first, and remember, whoever talks first loses.
我们先玩这个 记住 先说话的人就输了
- I lose, now Jenga. - Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- 我输了 现在来玩层层叠 - 我的天啊
- Is something wrong? - Wrong? You know the word "wrong"?
- 哪里不对劲吗 - 你知道什么是"不对劲"吗
Everything isn't perfect? Everything isn't magical?
Everything isn't aglow with the light of a million fairies?
They were just brake lights, Parker.
那只是刹车灯 派克
Well, excuse me for putting a good spin on a traffic jam.
对不起 我美化了塞车
But you don't have to put a good spin on everything.
I'm sorry. That's who I am. I'm a positive person.
抱歉 我是个乐观的人
No, I'm a positive person.
不 我是个乐观的人
You are like Santa Claus on Prozac.
At Disneyland, getting laid.
So, what do you want me to do? You want me to be more negative?
- You want me to be less happy? - Much less happy.
- 你要我不快乐吗 - 比较不快乐
Fine. Well, then to quote Ross, "I better be going."
好吧 引用罗斯的话 "我最好走了"
So long.
Hey. Don't let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on your way out.
别让"全世界最棒的门" 在你出去时打到你的屁股了
Isn't this the most incredible fight you've ever had in your entire life?
We could've gone from the ceremony to the reception with you in the sidecar.
你坐在边车里 我们从婚礼现场走到接待处
Ross, it just wouldn't have been feasible.
But having a dove place the ring on your finger would've been no problem.
It was really fun being married to you tonight.
Yeah, and it was the easiest 400 bucks I ever made.
对 这四百块真好赚
- Okay, Ross, can I, um, ask you something? - Yeah.
- 罗斯 我能问你一件事吗 - 好
- That proposal at the planetarium? - I know, I know. It was stupid.
- 在天文馆求婚 - 我知道 那太蠢了
Are you kidding? With the lilies, and the song and the stars?
你在开玩笑吗 有百合花 歌跟星星
It was really wonderful. Did you just make that up?
那真的是太棒 你是随便编的吗
Uh, no, actually, I thought about it when we were going out.
我们交往时 我想过要那么做
That's how I imagined I, uh, would ask you to marry me.
Well, that would've been, uh, very hard to say no to.
Well, it's a good thing I didn't do it...
...because it sounds like it would have been a very expensive wedding.
- Okay, good night. - Good night.
- 好吧 晚安 - 晚安
Uh, even if the sidecar had a windscreen so your hair wouldn't get messed up?
- I will think about it. - That's all I'm asking.
- 我会考虑的 - 我已经满足了
Okay, that's it. I give up.
好吧 够了 我放弃了
At Mom and Dad's 40th anniversary, you're the one giving the speech.
在爸妈的40周年派对上 由你来致词
You know, I don't understand why they didn't cry. It was a beautiful speech.
我不了解他们为什么没哭 你的致词真感人
- Oh, come on. - Hey. That stuff you said about true love?
- 好了 - 你说关于真爱的事
You were right. I mean, we did learn a lot from Mom and Dad.
你说的对 我们从爸妈那里学到了很多
And that picture of Chi-Chi with her mischievous grin.
And what you said about Nana?
Oh, yeah, she really would've wanted to be there.
And you know what?
I think she was.
Oh, good God, Ross, how the hell do you do it'?
天啊 罗斯 你是怎么办到的