Wait. Before we go in, I just want you to know that I love you.
等一下 在进屋之前 我要你知道我爱你
And I had a great time on our honeymoon.
I can't wait to go in there and spend the rest of our life together.
You're sticking with the shell necklace, huh?
- Hey, you're back! Woo-hoo! - Yay!
- 你们回来了 - 对
- Come on in! - Yeah, come on!
- 快进来 - 对 快来吧
How was the honeymoon?
So much fun. The best part is, we met this incredible couple on the flight back.
That was the best part? Good honeymooning, tiger.
那是最棒的吗 这真的是很棒的蜜月 小子
They're cool. They were on their honeymoon too.
They're terrific. They live here in the city.
Can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call.
Sorry, we're excited. We finally have a couple to hang out with.
A couple? Like two people? Like one, two people?
夫妇朋友 你是说两个人吗 像是一 二 两个人
This is different. Greg and Jenny are in a relationship.
Ugh, Greg and Jenny. Ugh! "Hi, Greg. I'm Chandler. This is Monica."
葛瑞格跟珍妮 "葛瑞格 我是钱德 这是摩妮卡"
"Hi, Monica. This is Jenny." "Hi, Jenny. Hi, Greg."
"嗨 摩妮卡 她是珍妮" "嗨 珍妮 嗨 葛瑞格"
- Listen, they're great. If you got a chance... - You know what?
- 他们真的很棒 如果你们… - 你知道吗
Why don't you give us our souvenirs and get the hell out of here.
- We didn't get a chance to... - You've got to be kidding me!
- 我们没有机会… - 你是在开玩笑
- We didn't get anything for anyone. - Mm-hm, yeah. Nice necklace.
- 我们没有买任何人的礼物 - 好漂亮的项链
That you can have.
# So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 #
# Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 #
# It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 #
# When it hasn't been your day, #
# 日复一日 年复一年 #
# your week, your month, or even your year #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 #
# but I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# 'Cause you're there for me too #
# 你我相偎相依 #
- Hello! - Welcome home.
- 哈罗 - 欢迎你们回来
So, how was the honeymoon?
Great! How about you? I mean, you're having a baby!
太棒了 你们呢 你们要有宝宝了
- Oh, look, I have a sonogram picture. - Oh, good.
- 你看 我有宝宝的超音波照片 - 太棒了
Ross, it's got your wavy, black lines.
So now that Ross knows, can you tell us how it happened?
When did it happen? How many times did it happen?
- Monica, that's not right. - What?
- 摩妮卡 那么问是不对的 - 什么
Start with where.
Well, it happened about six weeks ago.
And, uh, I had just got home from work and Ross was already there.
- I guess he'd been hanging out with Joey. - You're welcome, buddy.
- 他跟乔伊混在一起 - 别客气 兄弟
And so I had a lot of work, and Ross, nice guy that he is, offered to help me out.
And then we had wine, we got to talking.
Next thing you know, out of nowhere Ross comes on to me.
That's a little misleading.
- What is? - The lie you just told.
- 什么 - 你刚刚说的谎话
- That you came on to me? - There's the one!
- 我说是你主动的 - 没错
- But you did. Let's be honest. - Yes, let's.
- 但那是真的 老实一点吧 - 没错 老实一点吧
You know what? Uh, it's not important.
Heh, what's important is that we're having a baby.
It doesn't matter who came on to who.
- You kissed me first. - What? You were begging me to kiss you!
- 你先吻我的 - 是你求我的
You were sending me signals all over the place.
- I was sending signals? Please. - Yeah.
- 我发暗号给你 - 对
Okay, anyone think that I'd actually send Ross begging signals?
Please, show of hands.
It doesn't matter what people "believe." What matters is what happened.
These signals, explain this. Maybe I need to be more careful.
Am I you sending these signals right now?
- You know what? Just drop it. - Show me how I begged you.
- 你知道吗 别谈了 - 告诉我我是怎么求你的
I can show you! I have it on videotape.
It's an expression.
I can't believe he taped the two of them having sex.
Yeah. You gotta tell a girl before you tape her.
Such a rookie mistake.
- Know who has a great camera? - Greg and Jenny?
- 你知道谁有很棒的摄影机吗 - 葛瑞格跟珍妮
- Do you want to call them? I want to. - Let's call.
- 我要打电话给他们 - 快打吧
Ask them if they brought their friends souvenirs.
Hello? 8th Street Deli?
Hey, hang up. You get food poisoning just talking to that place.
快挂掉 光跟他们说话 你就会食物中毒
- Sorry, wrong number. - Here you go, babe.
- 抱歉 - 来吧 打错了 宝贝
Hello? It's the deli again!
All right, I'll have a sandwich.
I don't think this number's right.
- What? - You got fake-numbered.
- 什么 - 你们拿到假的电话
- What? People don't do that. - Oh, I think we do.
- 什么 没有人会那么做 - 我想我们会
- A fake number? Why would they do that? - I don't know.
- 他们为什么要那么做 - 我不知道
You were a delight to talk to.
You asked those insightful, great questions.
And you've never been funnier.
I mean, joke, joke, joke! You were a hoot!
Don't worry about it. You still got me and Phoebe.
Excuse me, I don't want Greg and Jenny's rejects.
Rachel won't talk to me. She won't open the door.
Hmm, I wonder why, pervert.
Okay, listen, I am not a pervert.
That's, like, the pervert motto.
Yeah, they have you raise your right hand...
...put your left hand down your pants and repeat that.
Filming Rachel was not something I planned.
Look, here's what happened. And Joey can back me up on this.
About a month and a half ago, remember I came to you with a problem?
The personal thing?
- Pers...? What personal thing? - About... About sex?
- 什么私人问题 - 关于性的问题
That I hadn't had sex in months?
Yeah, I knew what you were talking about.
Do you have a minute?
I'd like to talk about something I'm uncomfortable talking about.
How about, uh, you showering with your mom?
I actually had a topic in mind.
I'm kind of going through a dry spell, sex-wise.
- Oh, for, like, months? - Five, to be...
- 有好几个月了吗 - 五个月…
Six months? That's rough.
Well, it's not all bad. I'm learning to appreciate the, uh, small things in life.
Like the sound of a bird, or the color of the sky.
The sky's blue, Ross. And I had sex yesterday.
天空是蓝色的 罗斯 我昨天做过爱了
Please help me. I have a date tonight.
It has to go well. I'm scared for my health.
Okay, okay. Oh! I got something. It's this story that I came up with.
Very romantic. Any woman that hears it, they're like putty.
Really? Tell it to me.
Okay. Now, you're gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it.
But you have to remember, it is just the story.
- I'll try to control myself. - Okay. Ahem.
- 我会试着控制自己 - 好吧
Years ago, when I was backpacking across Western Europe...
Heh, you were backpacking across Europe?
- Have a nice six more months, Ross. - Okay, okay!
- 六个月后见 - 好 好
I'm sorry. Please, please. You were in Western Europe, and?
抱歉 求求你 你去了西欧 然后…
I was outside Barcelona, hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo.
I was at the end of this path. I came to a clearing, and there was a lake.
Very secluded. There were tall trees all around.
It was dead silent. Gorgeous.
And across the lake I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself.
Mm! Mm, this is great wine.
You know, um, a few years ago I was backpacking across Western Europe.
- Really? - Mm-hm. Wait, it gets better.
- 真的吗 - 等一下 后面的故事很精彩
Um, yeah, I was in, um, Barcelona.
I studied for a year in Barcelona.
- Anyway, um, so I was hiking... - I love hiking!
- 总之我在健行… - 我喜欢健行
I was hiking along the foothills of Mount Tibidaybo...
- I think it's "Tibidabo." - Okay, do you want to tell the story?
- 我想是"第比达包山"才对 - 你想说这个故事吗
Whoa, what are you doing here? How'd your date go?
Great. I'm across the street having sex right now.
- Your story sucks. - If it didn't work, you didn't tell it right.
- 你的故事烂透了 - 是你说的方法不对
- Show me how you did it. - No, I don't want to.
- 告诉我你是怎么说的 - 不 我不想谈
- How long since you seen a girl naked? - I was backpacking across Western Europe.
- 你上次看到裸女是什么时候的事 - 我在西欧…
- I'm not feeling it. - I was outside Barcelona, hiking...
- 我没有感觉 - 我在巴塞罗那郊外健行…
- No, Ross, I'm not hot. Are you hot? - It's been six months. I'm always hot.
- 罗斯 我不热 你很热吗 - 我六个月没做爱 每天都很热
You're not selling the story. You don't believe it.
I gotta go, I got a date. But try this.
我得走了 我有约会 但试试这招
Do what I do when I'm preparing for an audition.
I'll set you up with my video camera.
You can record yourself and see what you're doing wrong.
All right. Now, you're all set up. Good to go.
- Just hit record. Good luck. - Thanks.
- 按下录影键就可以了 祝你好运 - 谢谢
And Joe, listen. If you ever have any problem with the ladies...
...you know I'll help you out.
That means a lot to me, man.
Can I get you anything? Lens cleaner? Your battery okay?
需要我为你效劳吗 要擦镜头吗 电池还有电吗
- Rachel. - Oh, Ross.
- 瑞秋 - 噢 罗斯
- Hi. - Thank God you're here.
- 嗨 - 谢天谢地 你在这里
You have to help me. Were you just talking to yourself?
That's less embarrassing. Yes. Yes, I was.
那会比较不丢脸 对 没错
When she came in, I got distracted and totally forgot about the camera.
It kept rolling and recorded everything.
- Yeah, we're gonna need to see that tape. - Yeah.
- 我们得看看那卷录影带 - 对
What a great idea! That'll get Rachel to forgive me.
This is not fair to her. Let's forget the tape.
You'll show it to me.
- No. - You're right.
- 不 - 你说的对
- Joey, no. - Loud and clear.
- 乔伊 不 - 我了解
I don't get why Greg and Jenny would give us a fake number.
You know, if they knew what they were doing...
- ...they didn't give you real names either. - Okay.
- 他们不会给你们真名 - 好吧
Maybe people give out fake numbers, but they don't give out fake names.
Hi. Ken Adams. Nice to meet you.
嗨 肯·亚当斯 很高兴能认识你
- We didn't do anything wrong. - I know.
- 我们没有做错事 - 我知道
Although you did tell an awful lot of jokes.
I thought you said those jokes were funny. Joke, joke, joke!
- Maybe it was your questions. - What about my questions?
- 是你问了太多问题害的 - 我的问题怎么了
The sheer volume. It was like flying with the Riddler.
- Ooh, sorry, was that another joke? - Was that another question?
- 那也是笑话吗 - 那也是问题吗
- Hey, is Ross still here? - Uh, no, Rach, he's gone, but listen.
- 罗斯还在吗 - 不在 他已经离开了
He told us what happened. It sounds like an honest mistake.
Really? How would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it?
Oh, there he is, the father of my child, the porn king of the West Village.
他来了 我孩子的爹 西村的色情片之王
Look, it was an accident, okay?
I feel bad it happened. I swear, I didn't even watch it.
I thought you might be more comfortable destroying it yourself.
- You don't want to see this, do you? - Hell, yeah!
- 你们不想看这玩意吧 - 我们当然想
I am not gonna show you this.
Not the sex part. Just the stuff leading up to it.
Forget it. She's destroying it.
Okay, fine! Fine. We'll just have to think of some other way...
...to put the "who came on to who" thing to rest.
Forget it. It's Rachel's tape, and she can do whatever she wants with it.
And she wants to destroy it, so end of story.
- I want to see it. - What?
- 我想看 - 什么
Clearly you don't want people to see this tape.
I don't want people to see this tape either.
But you so badly don't want people to see it that it makes me want to see it. See?
Are we watching the tape or not?
- I don't want people to see it for your sake. - Oh, I don't believe you.
- 我是要保护你 - 我不相信你
I think you don't want them to see you begging me.
- Rachel, please? - Oh, a little preview.
- 瑞秋 拜托 - 这是预告部分
Fine. But I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road.
好吧 我要这卷录影带 证明我是想保护你
Because in about five minutes, I'm gonna be saying:
Okay, here we go.
Hello. Can I can get you anything?
Oh, thank God you're here.
I need you to help me. Were you talking to yourself?
- Oh, there I am. - You're gonna get pregnant.
- 我出现了 - 你就要怀孕了
I screwed up so bad.
I told Monica that I'd stuff and send those wedding invitations weeks ago.
I had put them in... In my desk at work...
...and I forgot about them until today.
Sweetie, it's okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. I'm fine.
甜心 没关系的 客人都来了 我没事的
- Kind of hurting my hand though. - I know.
- 但你把我的手弄痛了 - 我知道
I can not believe that I did this.
Especially after Monica just went on and on and on about it.
"Here are the invitations, Rachel. Be very careful, Rachel.
"喜帖在这里 瑞秋 小心点 瑞秋
Please drinking no liquids around the invitations, Rachel."
拜托 别在喜帖附 喝东西 瑞秋"
Did you do it on our invitations?
Not on the ones we sent out.
So just the ones you gave back to us and we had framed?
Can you believe this is happening?
- It seems like yesterday they got engaged. - I know.
- 感觉上像是他们昨天才订婚 - 我知道
Remember the night they got engaged? How you and I almost...
Oh, I remember how we almost.
You think we would've gone through with it if we hadn't gotten caught?
You think we would have done it?
I know I wanted to. I just wasn't sure if you wanted to.
So we... We both wanted to.
- Interesting. - Mm.
- 真有趣 - 嗯
Anyway, um, probably worked out for the best.
In about 10 seconds, you're gonna see him kiss me.
And in about 5 seconds, you're gonna see why.
Ross, did I ever tell you about the time...
...that I went backpacking through Western Europe?
Okay, get ready to see some begging.
Oh, you came on to Ross!
- What? - Now I'm so happy.
- 什么 - 现在我好快乐
- What are you talking about? - You used the Europe story!
- 什么 - 你用了欧洲的故事
That's the magic story you use when you want to have sex!
- How do you know about that story? - How do you know about that story?
- 你怎么知道那个故事 - 你怎么知道那个故事
I heard it from my friend Irene who heard it from some guy.
No, no, she told me that his name was Ken Adams.
不 她说那个家伙 叫做肯·亚当斯
So apparently, uh, people are familiar with the Europe story?
Yeah, listen, about that...
...the whole "who came on to who" thing really doesn't matter.
I think it would have happened either way.
I mean, if you hadn't initiated it, I know I would have.
- It was an amazing night. - It was. It was an amazing night.
- 那是个神奇的夜晚 - 没错 它很神奇
You think it looked amazing?
I, uh... I don't know. I honestly didn't watch it.
- That... That may be weird. - Yeah, it would be really weird.
- 那应该会很奇怪 - 对 它真的很奇怪
- Good luck. - Good luck to you.
- 祝你好运 - 祝你好运
- Mind if I mute? - Oh, please.
- 我可以消音吗 - 麻烦你了
- Oh, there go the clothes. - You are undressing awfully quickly.
- 我们开始脱衣服了 - 你脱衣服的速度真快
Six months, Rachel. Six months.
- We look pretty good. - I was gonna say.
- 我们看起来很不错 - 我也那么认为
- Ooh, nice tan. - Thank you.
- 你的皮肤晒得很漂亮 - 谢谢
- I'd just gone to the beach that weekend. - Ah.
- 那个周末我才去过海边 - 嗯
- Have you been working out? - I have been working out.
- 你有在健身吗 - 我一直在健身
Well, this is so much better than I ever...
- Oh, that's not pretty. - Oh.
- 噢 那真的很难看 - 噢
- Oh. Oh, God. - Oh.
- 噢 天啊 - 噢
- Oh, no. Oh, no! No! - Make it stop. Make it stop.
- 快停下来 - 不
Hello, Greg? Hi, this is Monica from the plane.
喂 葛瑞格吗 我是飞机上跟你们见过面的摩妮卡
Listen, the number that you gave me, uh, 8-5-3...
听着 你给我的电话号码 853…
Their old number! Jenny's been giving it out since they moved!
- Jenny! That is so Jenny! - I know.
- 那真的很像珍妮的作风 - 我知道
Listen, um, how would you like to get together next Saturday?
Okay, how about Sunday?
Okay, um, the week after that?
The week after that?
You know what, Greg? Heh.
We are good, interesting, funny people with good questions.
And if you and your precious Jenny can't see that, then...
We'll see you then! Okay!