- Hey, guys, guess what. - What?
- 大伙们 你们猜怎么了 - 什么
I know it's last minute, but we've decided to have a Halloween party.
- Oh, good! - Great!
- 很好 - 太棒了
- And everybody has to wear costumes. - Oh, I don't know...
- 你们得变装 - 我没办法参加
Come on, it'll be fun.
Uh, I'll be there. I have to wear a costume to my classes that day anyway.
Tell me you're not gonna dress like a dinosaur.
Not two years in a row.
- I'll come, but I'm not dressing up. - You have to.
- 我会去的 但我不会变装 - 你得变装才行
No. Halloween is stupid. Dressing up, pretending to be someone you're not.
不 万圣节太愚蠢了 变装 假装你是另一个人
Ross, are you gonna bring Mona?
- Yeah. Yeah, I will. - The girl from their wedding?
- 我想我会 - 你在婚礼上认识的那个女孩
- Yeah. - Wow, hey.
- 对 - 喔 嗨
If she needs any ideas for costumes, she could be a, uh, bikini model...
...or a slutty nurse, or a sexy cheerleader.
Or, ooh, ooh. Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
No, no, no! Slutty Leatherface.
Wasn't Joey hitting on her at the wedding too?
That's right, he was hitting on her.
And I got her. I guess the better man won. Heh.
Please don't take her from me.
# So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 #
# Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 #
# It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 #
# When it hasn't been your day, #
# 日复一日 年复一年 #
# your week, your month, or even your year #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 #
# but I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# 'Cause you're there for me too #
# 你我相偎相依 #
- Ursula! - Oh. Heh.
- 乌苏拉 - 噢
Wait. It's me, Phoebe.
等一下 是我 我是菲比
Oh, I thought there was a mirror there. Okay. Bye.
我还以为那里有镜子 好吧 再见
Um, so, what's new with you?
Um, nothing. I mean, I'm getting married next week.
- What? - Yeah, yeah.
- 什么 - 对
It's gonna be a small ceremony. Just family.
I'm really happy for you.
Wait. If, um... If you want to come, I guess that'd be okay.
等一下 如果你也想来的话 我猜应该没关系
- Really? - Sure, why not?
- 真的吗 - 当然
You could be my "sister" for the day.
Um, you know, my friends are having a Halloween party tonight...
...at my old apartment, so you could come.
Maybe I could meet the guy you're marrying.
Well, I'm supposed to be working tonight.
I'm supposed to be working now, so who cares!
- By the way, it's a costume party. - Oh, okay, so that's why you're...
- 还有 这是变装派对 - 噢 所以你才会…
- Hi. - You're supposed to wear a costume.
- 嗨 - 你应该变装的
I am. I am a woman...
...who spent a lot of money on a dress and she wants to wear it...
...because soon she won't be able to fit into it.
- Oh. I'm Catwoman. - Ah.
- 我是猫女 - 嗯
Who wants the dress when you're too big for it.
- Trick or treat! - Oh! Can I give out candy?
- 不给糖就捣蛋 - 我可以分糖果给他们吗
I really want to be with kids.
Ever since I got pregnant, I have the strongest maternal instincts.
- Trick or treat! - Just a minute!
- 不给糖就捣蛋 - 等一下
We... Aah! Look at you guys!
- Wow! You are a very scary witch. - Thank you.
- 哇 你是个可怕的巫婆 - 谢谢
- And you are a very funny clown. - Thank you.
- 你是个好笑的小丑 - 谢谢
...are so in style right now.
You know, I work at Ralph Lauren.
The whole fall line has got this equestrian theme going on.
- Did you see the cover of Vogue...? - Could I just have the candy?
- 你看过时尚杂志的封面… - 我可以拿糖果吗
Ah, Catwoman. So we meet again.
So we do, Supergirl.
Monica, can I talk to you for a second?
Listen, I appreciate you getting the costume.
Oh, you did this to him?
What? I thought he'd love it.
His favorite book was The Velveteen Rabbit.
The Velveteen Rabbit was brown and white.
It was either a pink bunny, or no bunny at all.
No bunny at all. Always no bunny at all!
- Hey. - You didn't dress up either?
- 嗨 - 你也没有变装
Yes, I did. I'm Chandler.
不 我有 我扮成钱德
Dude, what happened?
- How is that me? - Okay, ahem.
- 我怎么会是那个样子 好
Ha, ha! That is so you!
- When have I ever done that? - When have I ever done that?
- 我什么时候会那样 - 我什么时候会那样
- Trick or treat. - Oh!
- 不给糖就捣蛋 - 噢
Oh, you're just the prettiest ballerina ever I've ever seen.
Oh, wow. That deserves another candy.
- Thank you. - Ha-ha-ha.
- 谢谢 - 哈哈
I have to say, that earns "two-two" pieces of candy.
Oh, honey, here, take it all.
Monica? We need more candy.
- What? There's only been four kids. - I know.
- 什么 刚刚只来了四个孩子 - 我知道
But one said she loved me, so I gave her everything.
No wonder you're pregnant.
- What are you supposed to be? - Remember the Russian satellite, Sputnik?
- 你这次扮成什么了 - 还记得史波尼克号卫星吗
Well, I'm a potato. Or a "spud"...
...and these are my antenna.
So Sputnik becomes?
Wow, I don't have the worst costume anymore.
Hey, all right! Ross came as doodie.
- No, I'm not doodie. - No, space-doodie.
- 不 我不是粪 - 对 你是太空之粪
- Aren't you gonna give me a kiss? - Okay, I will.
- 你不吻我吗 - 好吧
But right after, you have to tell me who you are.
- Ursula? - Ursula's fiance?
- 乌苏拉 - 乌苏拉的未婚夫
- Oh, my God. You're the sister. - Yeah.
- 天啊 你是她的妹妹 - 对
- I just slapped my future sister-in-law's ass. - Yeah.
- 我刚刚打了我未来小姨子的屁股 - 对
I'm an idiot. Is your mother here? I could give her a slap on the butt.
我真是白痴 你妈妈在这里吗 或许我也可以打她的屁股
- My mother killed herself. - See, and I knew that.
- 我妈自杀死掉了 - 看吧 我就知道
I'm really sweating. Now I'm saying look at me, I'm even sweatier. I should go.
看看我 我满身大汗 我该走了
No. We'll start over.
- Hi, I'm Phoebe. - Eric.
- 嗨 我是菲比 - 我是艾力克
- Why are you looking at me like that? - The sweat's in my eyes.
- 你为什么要那样子看我 - 汗滴到我眼睛里了
- It's burning. - Okay.
- 正在燃烧 - 好
- Thank you. - There.
- 谢谢 - 拿去吧
- So, what are you? - I don't think they have a name for it.
- 那是什么 - 我不知道该怎么说
I get nervous, and I sweat like crazy.
- No, I meant your costume. - Oh, um, I'm a solar system.
- 不 我是指你的服装 - 我扮成太阳系
My student's helped me. I teach second grade.
- I love the second grade. - Really?
- 我喜欢二年级 - 真的吗
It's better than first grade, where you don't know what's going on.
And definitely better than third grade.
You know, with all the politics and the mind games.
- So, what do you do? - I'm a masseuse, by day.
- 你是做哪一行的 - 我白天时是按摩师
- You don't have to stand here with me. - I'm having fun.
- 听着 你不必陪我 - 我觉得很开心
- I'm really excited for you and Ursula. - I feel very lucky. She's great.
- 我为你跟乌苏拉高兴 - 我觉得自己很幸运 她太棒了
- She's the most beautiful woman ever. - Thank you.
- 她是最美丽的女人 - 谢谢你
- Hey, Joey? - Yeah?
- 乔伊 - 什么事
- You read comic books, right? - Exclusively.
- 你会看漫画书吧 - 我是专家
Who do you think would win in a fight, Catwoman or Supergirl?
- Catwoman, hands down. - Yeah.
- 当然是猫女 绝对是 - 对
Between you and Phoebe? I'd give the edge to Phoebe.
- What? Really? - You kidding?
- 什么 真的吗 - 你在开玩笑吗
Phoebe lived on the street, okay? Plus, she's got this crazy temper. She...
菲比在街上混过 好吗 而且她生起气来跟疯婆子一样
She's not right behind me, is she?
- No, you're fine. - Okay.
- Do you think I could take Rachel? - I'm not sure.
- 我能打倒瑞秋吗 - 我不确定
What? Come on, I am tough!
什么 少来了 我很凶的
Punch me here, as hard as you can!
- 用力打我这里 - 好
Relax. What are you taking this so seriously for? It doesn't matter.
别激动 你为什么那么认真 那不重要
Really? What would you say if I told you Ross or Chandler could beat you up?
I would say, "Woman, please."
Hey, Ursula's fiance is really sweet.
He's a teacher, he does volunteer work.
Normally, I don't like sweaty guys. But I could just mop him up.
- Oh, my God, Phoebe? - What?
- 天啊 菲比 - 什么
You're getting a crush on your sister's fiance.
No, I'm not, you are!
不 我才没有 是你
Here comes the temper.
- Trick or treat. - Hi.
- 不给糖就捣蛋 - 嗨
Hi. Know what? We're out of candy. But someone went to get some.
你知道吗 我们没有糖果了 但已经有人去买了
And I've been giving out money, but I'm out of that too.
- Can I write you a check? - Okay.
- 我可以开张支票给你吗 - 好吧
- Okay. What's your name? - Lelani Mayolanofavich.
- 好吧 你叫什么名字 - 李兰妮·马尤拉诺法维奇
Okay, I'm just gonna write this out to "cash."
好吧 我会写上 "现金支票"
- Hi. - Hi, Mona.
- 嗨 - 嗨 蒙娜
Joey's gonna be thrilled. He was hoping you'd come by as a slutty nurse.
Um, actually, I'm just a nurse.
You'd think that would embarrass me, but, you see, I'm maxed out.
- Hey, you made it. - Hi! Wait.
- 嘿 你来了 - 等一下
- You're, um... You're a potato? - Well, I'm a spud?
- 你是马铃薯 - 喔 我是波特多…
- Oh, my God, you're Spud-nik! - Yes!
- 天啊 你是波特多尼克 - 答对了
Okay, here's a good one for you.
Who do you think would win a fight between Ross and Chandler?
I can't answer that. Chandler's my husband.
- So Ross? - Yeah.
- 罗斯会赢 - 对
- Hey, beautiful. - Hello, handsome.
- 嘿 美女 - 哈罗 帅哥
Aw, look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
- Two weeks ago. - Two weeks, that's it?
- 两个星期前 - 就那样
I know. It sounds crazy, and it's not like me to do something impulsive.
我知道这听起来很疯狂 我不是个冲动的人 但是…
But she's so perfect, and we have so much in common.
We're both teachers.
- And we were both in the Peace Corps. - Peace Corps, really?
- 我们都参加了和平工作团 - 真的吗
In fact, when we were building houses in Uruguay...
...we were just two towns apart and we never met.
Yeah. It wasn't a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left.
对 我刚到时那里一片荒芜 但我离开时已经是个小镇了
- Shall we get me really drunk? - Sure.
- 我们可以去喝一杯吗 - 没问题
That's funny, yeah.
You're the funniest man here in a bunny costume his wife made him wear.
Relax, man. Relax. You're looking a little flushed.
Hey, I think we might find out the answer to our question.
- What question? - Who could kick whose ass in a fight...
- 什么问题 - 摩妮卡跟我在聊 如果你跟罗斯打架
- There's no question. - So you think Ross too?
- 那不是问题 - 那么你也觉得罗斯会赢喽
- You picked Ross? - Ross is really strong.
- 你选罗斯 - 罗斯很强壮
He's the strongest out of all three of you. Except for Joey.
- I can not believe you didn't pick me. - In her defense, she's right. I am stronger.
- 我不敢相信你没有选我 - 她说得对 我比你壮
I would destroy you.
Oh, really? You think you're stronger? Why don't you prove it?
真的吗 你觉得你比较壮吗 你为什么不证明给大家看
Oh, I'll prove it. I'll prove it like a theorem!
All right! Okay, stop it. Stop it!
Stop! No one's gonna fight.
People came to see a fight, let's give them what they came for!
嘿 大家是来这里看人打架 快打给他们看吧
- You guys could arm-wrestle. - Yeah, listen to the slutty nurse.
- 你们可以比腕力 - 听风流护士的话
- You're going down. - Oh, yeah? You're going further down.
- 你死定了 - 是吗 你才死定了
Seriously, guys, the trash talk is embarrassing.
Oh, Gunther, you brought candy. Thank you so much for picking this up.
阿甘 你买到糖果了 谢谢你
- You are so sweet. - Really?
- 你真的是太棒了 - 真的吗
Someday, you are gonna make some man the luckiest guy in the world.
- Got to go. - Trick or treat.
- 我得走了 - 不给糖就捣蛋
Hi! Wow! There you go.
My friend Lewis told me you were giving out money.
Oh, yeah, we were, but, um, now we've got candy.
I'd rather have the money.
Well, that's not your choice. Happy Halloween!
Is it fair that all you did was put on a cape and I gotta give you stuff?
- You can't tell me to shut up. - Uh, I think I just did.
- 你不能叫我闭嘴 - 我想我刚刚说了
And uh-oh, here it comes again. Shut up!
- Uh, Rach. - No, I got it. I'm good. I got it.
- 瑞秋 - 不 我可以 我很厉害的
Wait, I had one more thing to say.
You're a mean old woman.
Oh, wait! No. Shut... Don't cry!
Let me get my checkbook!
Honey, you don't have to do this.
It's the strength you have inside that means the most to me.
You're loyal, you're honest and you have integrity.
That's the strength I want in the man I love.
That means nothing to me. Come on!
- Hi, liar. - Hey.
- 嗨 骗子 - 嘿
You know, the only reason he's marrying you...
...is because he thinks the things you were saying were true.
- They could be true. - But they're not.
- 它们有可能是真的 - 但你真的在说谎
Yeah. It's a fine line, huh?
- Why are you lying to him? - I don't know.
- 你为什么要说谎 - 我不知道
He said he did this stuff, I said I did it too. He got so excited, it was fun.
他做了那些事 我说我也是 他变得很兴奋 很好玩
It's a disgusting habit, and I want you to quit now!
She's helped so many people quit smoking.
We'd better get going.
- You have a church group meeting. - Right.
- 你还得参加教会的聚会 - 对
- Well, it was nice meeting you. - You too.
- 很高兴能见到你 - 我也是
And, Ursula, it was really nice meeting you tonight!
Pheebs, come on! Bunny versus Doodie. We're waiting!
快来吧 兔子大战粪团 我们在等你
Okay, guys. One match, winner take all.
好吧 一次决胜负 赢的人是英雄
Wait. What does the winner get?
- Pride. - And dignity.
- 骄傲 - 跟自尊
Heh. Okay, if you say so.
All right, ready, set, go!
好吧 就位 预备 开始
- Come on! - Come on!
- 加油 - 加油
- Wow, they're both really strong. - Or equally weak.
- 他们都很壮 - 或是一样逊
Oh, God. Chandler's making his sex face.
- So you getting tired? - No. I could do this all day.
- 你累了吗 - 不 我可以撑一整天
- Getting a little tired, though. - God, I'm exhausted.
- 但我有点累了 - 天啊 我累坏了
This is starting to look bad for me, okay? Mona's standing right there.
我开始漏气了 好吗 蒙娜就站在那里
Oh, God, she's talking to Joey! You've got to let me win!
天啊 她在跟乔伊说话 你得让我赢
No way. Let me win. My wife thinks I'm a wimp.
Hey, at least you have a wife.
I keep getting divorces and knocking people up.
And I'm dressed as doodie.
- You're Spud-nik. - Come on, who we kidding? I'm doodie.
- 你是波特多尼克 - 少来了 我们要骗谁呢 我是傻瓜
- Please? She's watching. - Ugh.
- 拜托 她在看我 - 啊
- Fine. - Thanks.
- 好吧 - 谢谢
- Oh, no. - Oh, yeah!
- 不 - 太棒了
You're a weird lady.
- Hey, Ursula said she left her purse. - Oh.
- 乌苏拉忘了拿皮包 - 噢
What a relief. It has the numbers of the people in her prayer chain.
I'm sure it does. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, guess I'll see you at the wedding.
Um, listen. I don't think I'm gonna make it to the wedding.
- I wish you all the luck in the world. - We'll be okay.
- 祝你们好运 - 我想我们会没事的
It's so perfect, and she's been saving herself for me.
- I can't let you do this. She's lying to you. - What?
- 我不能让你这么做 她在说谎 - 什么
She is lying. And I bet I could prove it. Excuse me.
她在说谎 我想我可以证明 对不起
Okay. Yeah, not a prayer chain.
But what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan.
Here's the name tag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress.
Not a teacher, a waitress.
Here's her driver's license. She always lies about this.
好 她的驾照在这里 她总是会撒这个谎
- How old did she say she was? - She told me she was 25.
- 她跟你说她几岁了 - 她说她二十五岁
Aw. I almost don't want to show you this.
Just remember, I'm a minute younger.
Of course she's lying. She's not a teacher.
There's no such thing as a "Top Secret School for the Children of Spies."
No, you're not stupid.
I just wanted so much to be impulsive for once.
- To be romantic. - That's good.
- 找一点浪漫 - 很好
You should be impulsive and you should be romantic.
Just, you did it with the wrong person.
- What? - It's weird, two people look so alike.
- 怎么了 - 这真的很奇怪 你们长得那么像
- Better go deal with it. - Yeah, you should.
- 我得去解决问题 - 没错 你该那么做
Hurry up! I gotta pray!
Well, I had to give the kid 50 bucks to stop crying.
- That's not so bad. - I also had to go to a couple houses...
- 那还不赖 - 我还得当他的女朋友
...as his girlfriend.
Ugh, I am just awful with children.
Come on, you're good with kids. They're just crazy on Halloween.
They're all greedy, hopped up on sugar.
- Really? That's all it is? - Absolutely.
- 就那样 - 当然
Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas. And their birthdays.
They get crazy during the summer too.
And any time they're hungry or sleepy.
Kids are tough. Good luck with that. Pfft.
Look, I wanted to tell you, I'm sorry you lost.
Oh, listen. I got a secret for you. I let him win.
- Heh, heh. - Was that a secret, or a lie?
- 嗨 - 那是秘密还是谎话
- No, I let him... Ross? - Yeah?
- 不 我让他…罗斯 - 是吗
Would you tell her I let you win, please?
- 什么事 - 麻烦你告诉她我放水让你赢
Oh, yeah, uh, Chandler let me win.
噢 对 钱德"放水让我赢"
No, Chandler's really strong. Oh, my arm is so sore. Oh, nurse?
不 钱德真的好壮 我的手好酸喔 护士
I am strong. I'll show you.
Oh, what's the matter? Are you scared?
Let's go, big bunny!
One, two, three. Go!
一 二 三 开始
I'm gonna kill myself.