Hey, Pheebs, I'm having dinner with my dad tomorrow. Wanna come?
Sure, yeah, he's kind of sexy.
Oh, no, I'll be there too.
Okay, so we'll just come up with a signal. If it's going well, you can take off.
我们得想个暗号 如果一切进行的很顺利 你可以离开
No, Phoebe, I just need you there for support.
- I haven't told him I'm pregnant yet. - Oh. Why not?
- 我还没有告诉他我怀孕了 - 为什么
Because I know he's gonna flip out and I hate it when he gets angry.
Oh, Rachel. This is all so "Papa Don't Preach."
No, Pheeb, wait, he's a scary guy. I mean, one time he caught me smoking.
不 菲比 等一下 他是个可怕的人 有次他抓到我抽烟
He said if he ever saw me doing that again, he would make me eat the entire pack.
- Wow. Well, I will be there. - Okay.
- 我一定会去 - 好
Gosh, I'm not gonna let that man make you eat your baby.
Oh. Hey, who is that guy? I think I know him.
- No, you don't. - No, you don't.
- 才怪 - 才怪
Oh, my God. Monica, he's the stripper from your bachelorette party.
天啊 摩妮卡 他是你单身女郎派对上的脱衣舞男
Your secret bachelorette party.
- You had a bachelorette party? - She untied his G-string with her teeth.
- 你办了单身女郎派对 - 她用牙齿解开他的丁字裤
I thought we weren't gonna have bachelor, bachelorette parties.
You know, we agreed that it's a silly tradition.
It's a grand tradition.
I'm sorry. They surprised me. There was nothing I could do.
抱歉 她们给我一个大惊喜 我真的没有办法
Well, you could have untied it with your hands.
This is so unfair.
The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party...
...but, oh, I wasn't allowed to. All we got was a stupid steak dinner.
You went home with the waitress.
Ha. Yeah, that was a good night.
I can't believe you didn't tell me.
You know that the two pillars of marriage are openness and honesty.
Ugh. I knew giving you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass.
# So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 #
# Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 #
# It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 #
# When it hasn't been your day, #
# 日复一日 年复一年 #
# your week, your month, or even your year #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 #
# but I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# 'Cause you're there for me too #
# 你我相偎相依 #
How about I order everyone the Moroccan chicken?
Oh, I don't eat meat.
- Yeah, I don't eat that either. - I'll never understand you lesbians.
- 我也不吃那个 - 我一直都搞不懂女同志
- So, baby, tell me, what is new with you? - Well, actually, um...
- 宝贝 告诉我你有什么事 - 事实上…
- Ahem. Your '74 Lafite, sir. - Seventy-four?
- 你的74年拉菲红酒 - 74年
I ordered the '75. That's a magnificent wine. The '74 is sewage.
我点的是75年的红酒 它的味道很棒 74年的酒烂透了
Why would you bring me sewage?
Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why you're a waiter?
那是个难题吗 你是白痴吗 所以你才会来当服务生吗
This is why I told the manager I wouldn't wait on you tonight.
Oh, come on. Don't be such a baby.
In case you didn't notice, that is a scary man.
He's right, though. The '74 is absolute piss.
This was such a huge mistake. I can't tell him, Phoebe. I can't.
这是个天大的错误 菲比 我不敢告诉他
- Rachel... - No, it's okay. This is what's gonna happen.
- 瑞秋 - 这样吧
I'm gonna wait a couple of years and then the baby will tell him.
- Why? So he can get mad at the baby? - Hey, that is the baby's problem.
- 为什么 让他可以对宝宝生气 - 那是宝宝的问题
- Oh. Everything okay with the waiter? - I have no idea. I went to the bathroom.
- 服务生没问题吧 - 我不知道 我去了洗手间
So, sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is, uh...? What is new with you?
甜心 你得告诉我 你有什么事
- What's TiVo? - It's slang for "pregnant."
- 什么是有了 - 就是怀孕的意思
Are you really pregnant?
Well, uh, yes and no.
Except, not no.
So to sum it up, yeah.
Who is the father? Oh, no. Please don't tell me it's her.
孩子的爸爸是谁 不 拜托 别告诉就是她
No, it's Ross. It's Ross. You like Ross.
不 是罗斯 你喜欢罗斯
Oh, Daddy, I hope you're okay with all this.
I mean, think about it, this is a good thing. This is your first grandchild.
想一想 这是件好事 这是你第一个外孙
You're gonna be a poppy.
That's true. I'm a poppy.
I'm gonna be a poppy.
- So when is the wedding? - The who?
- 婚礼什么时候举行 - 谁的婚礼
The wedding. There's going to be a wedding.
Young lady, don't you sit there and tell me...
...my first grandchild is gonna be a bastard.
Rachel Karen Green, tell me there's gonna be a wedding.
So it was cool seeing you lecture today.
Oh, thanks. Although it seemed like you were falling asleep there a little.
Oh, no, I had my eyes closed so I could concentrate and take it all in.
不 我闭上了眼睛 要专心听你说话
Yeah, a lot of my students do that.
- So, um, I gotta get going. - Okay, I'll see you tonight?
- 我得走了 - 今晚见
Oh, hey, thanks again for showing me your semi-precious stone collection.
My God, you must be good in bed.
So you and Mona. It's been a while now. How's it going?
Uh, it's good. It's going good.
I mean, we get along great. She's so...
- Hot? - Well, I was gonna say sweet, but yeah.
- 辣 - 我本来说很温柔 但你答对了
And she's okay with Rachel and the baby?
Well, I haven't actually told her yet. I don't wanna scare her off.
Well, you have to be honest with her...
...otherwise you may think that you're going down the same path...
...but you're really going down different ones.
I'm gonna take that book and I'm gonna beat you to death with it.
Oh, my God, you are gonna love me so much.
I felt really bad about the whole bachelorette party thing, so tonight...
好吧 关于单身女郎派对的事 我真的很难过…
- ...you're gonna have a bachelor party. - What?
- 所以今晚 你要办单身汉派对 - 什么
Yeah, I got this number from this guy at work...
...and I hired a stripper to come dance for you.
Am I going in the wife hall of fame or what?
Honey, that's crazy, I don't you to get me a stripper.
甜心 这太疯狂了 我不要脱衣舞娘
Will you let the lady talk?
Come on. Come on, it'll be fun. It'll make me feel so much better.
来吧 一定会很好玩的 它会让我觉得好过一点
Look, I appreciate it, but, uh, it's a little creepy, you know?
听着 我很感激 但它有点可怕
I'm not a bachelor anymore.
So don't think of it as a bachelor party.
Think of it as a two-month anniversary present.
Sure. One year is paper, but two months is lap dance.
当然 结婚一年是纸婚 两个月的话可以看热舞
Please, I feel so bad. Just watch the hot woman get naked.
拜托 我觉得好难过 去看看那个辣妹脱光衣服吧
- Fine, but I'm only doing this for you. - Yeah.
- 好吧 但我这么做是为了你 - 太帅了
Thank you. Now, who else do you wanna invite?
Uh, no, no, no. Just Ross and Joey is embarrassing enough.
Uh, actually, sorry, I can't even make it. I'm seeing Mona again tonight.
抱歉 我没办法去 今晚我跟蒙娜有约
I understand. Who would cancel an actual date just to go to a fake bachelor party?
I'm sorry. I gotta cancel tonight, baby.
抱歉 我得取消今晚的约会 宝贝
I'm sorry I won't be able to make it to your imaginary wedding...
...but I'm really busy that day.
I already have a unicorn baptism and a leprechaun bar mitzvah.
I know, I know. I panicked. I panicked.
I didn't want him to start yelling at me like I was some '74 Latour.
The '74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely.
All right, here he comes. I'm gonna do this.
I'm gonna tell him. I'm gonna be strong.
- I just called a friend of mine. - Yeah.
- 我刚刚打了电话给一个朋友 - 对
I think I may be able to book the Plaza on short notice.
- Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you please. - What is it, sweetie?
- 爸爸 我得跟你谈一谈 - 什么事 宝贝
There's not gonna be a wedding. Ross and I are not getting married.
- I'm sorry, Daddy. - I don't believe this.
- 对不起 爸爸 - 我不敢相信
Daddy, stay calm, please.
Stay calm? How do you expect me to stay calm?
This is unacceptable, Rachel. And I wanna know why.
我完全无法接受 瑞秋 我要知道为什么
Is it because that punk Ross won't marry you?
- That's it. Is that it? - Yes. He says I'm damaged goods.
- 是那样吗 - 对 他说我是瑕疵品
So, you, uh, nervous about getting married?
What are you doing?
Look, let's pretend it's a real bachelor party, okay?
You know, before your wedding. It'll be more fun.
All right. I can't believe tomorrow's the big day.
How's it feel knowing you're never gonna be with another woman again, huh?
Knowing you're gonna have to wake up to the same face every day...
...until you finally have the sweet release of death.
You're right. This is more fun.
That's her. Okay, come on.
So which one of you lucky boys is Chandler?
Joey Tribbiani. Big fan.
- So is that a bedroom? - Yeah, yeah, right over there.
- 那是卧房吗 - 对 就在那边
All right. Whenever you're ready.
- Why would she go in the bedroom? - I'm waiting.
- 她为什么要到卧房去 - 我在等着
- So she's a... - Yep, that's one naked hooker.
- 她是… - 她是脱光衣服的妓女
I love your place. Where is this guy from?
Uh, that's an 18th-century Indian artifact from Calcutta.
So you're more than just dinosaurs.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I am so sorry.
Ah, forget it. It's from Pier 1.
You think you can knock up my daughter and then not marry her?
I ought to kill you.
You know, this is actually not a great time for me.
So come on. Explain yourself, Geller.
快一点 解释给我听 盖勒
- First you get my Rachel pregnant... - You got Rachel pregnant?
- 你先让我的瑞秋怀孕 - 你让瑞秋怀孕
- Who did? - You did!
- 谁干的 - 就是你
Yes, yes, I did, but it was just a one-night thing. It meant nothing.
没错 但那是一夜情 那毫无意义
Oh? Really? That's what my daughter means to you, nothing?
No, no, sir. Um, she means a lot to me. I mean, I love Rachel.
不是的 她对我来说意义重大 我在乎…我爱瑞秋
- What? - Oh, but not in that way. Heh.
- 什么 - 但不是那样的
I mean, I'm not in love with her.
- I love her like a friend. - Oh, really? That's how you treat a friend?
- 我把她当成朋友 - 你就是那样对待朋友的吗
You get her in trouble and then you refuse to marry her?
- Hey, I offered to marry her. - What?
- 我有跟她求婚 - 什么
But I didn't want to.
Well, why not? So you could spend your time with this tramp?
I'm sorry. Dr. Green, Mona. Mona, Dr. Green.
抱歉 葛林医生 蒙娜 蒙娜 葛林医生
I can't believe there is a naked hooker in there.
Wait, wait. Maybe she's a hooker and a stripper...
...but she got confused about what she's supposed to do.
Could be. I mean, technically, she did strip. We just missed it.
有可能 技术上来说她脱光了衣服 只是我们没看到
Are you also a stripper?
Uh, no, but I could pretend to strip.
But that's gonna cost extra.
Okay, here's the extras: Handcuffs, spanking...
这是另外收钱的项目 手铐 鞭打…
Maybe Monica's playing a joke on you.
You know, getting her own husband a hooker. That's pretty funny.
That is funny. Maybe for my birthday she'll murder someone.
I bet Ross was in on it too. I mean, he was conveniently busy.
- Do you mind if I smoke in here? - Oh, actually, I'd rather... Ahem.
- 你不介意我抽烟吧 - 事实上我想…
Yeah, go ahead. We're gonna have to burn that room down anyway.
How could you have kept all of this from me?
- I was going to tell you, but... - But what?
- 我打算告诉你 但是… - 但是什么
You figured you'd get what you wanted, then you'd dump her like Rachel.
Hey, I did not dump Rachel. Nor are we still together.
Why don't we just let the machine get that?
Hey, Ross, it's Joey. There's a hooker over here.
罗斯 我是乔伊 这里有个妓女…
We thought maybe you'd know something about it.
I need to lie down.
So tonight's the night of the big bachelor party?
Yeah, hey, thanks for giving me that girl's number.
No problem. So who's the party for?
- My husband. - You hired your husband a hooker?
- 我老公 - 你帮你老公雇了一个妓女
- She's a stripper. - No, she's a hooker.
- 她是脱衣舞娘 - 不 她是妓女
- Is that what they call strippers sometimes? - When they're hookers.
- 他们不是有时这样称呼脱衣舞娘 - 因为她们是妓女
Oh, my God, Stu, I can't believe you did this.
天啊 史都 我不敢相信你会这么做
You're absolutely sure she's a hooker?
Either that, or she's just the best, most expensive date I ever had.
- Maybe she meant to get you a hooker. - Why would she do that?
- 或许她是故意帮你雇了个妓女 - 她为什么要那么做
Maybe she wants you to learn something.
Is there anything you're really bad at, you know, sexually?
This is the worst bachelor party ever.
- What's taking you boys so long? - In a minute.
- 你们怎么那么久 - 再一分钟就好
In a minute? What's gonna happen in a minute?
All right, all right. Maybe you should just ask her to leave.
- Why me? - Hey, it's your bachelor party.
- 为什么是我 - 这是你的单身汉派对
- Which is why you should do it. - I don't want to. You do it.
- 所以应该是你去说 - 我不要 你去
- You do it. - You do it.
- 你去 - 你去
All right, rock, paper, scissors for who has to tell the whore to leave.
好吧 剪刀石头布 决定谁去请那个妓女离开
- What? - I miss this.
- 什么 - 我想念这个
I don't think we've actually done this before.
No, I miss hanging out with you.
- Well, we still hang out. - Not like we used to.
- 我们还是混在一起 - 跟以前不一样了
Remember? You and me used to be inseparable.
还记得吗 你跟我 我们以前老是黏在一起
Well, now it's like things are different.
Well, you know, things are different. I'm married now.
Yeah, sure. And, hey, don't get me wrong, I am so happy for you guys.
But I just miss hanging out. Just us, you know?
Yeah, I miss that too.
I'll tell you what, from now on, we'll make time to hang out with each other.
听我说 从现在开始 我们找时间一起出去
You got it. Come here.
Listen, I am this close to robbing you guys.
She's a hooker! She's a hooker! She's a...!
Hi. Uh, we spoke on the phone.
So your dad dropped by.
He's a pleasant man.
- Oh, no. - I better go.
- 不 - 我得走了
Just over here. I don't wanna miss the fight.
Ross, I am so sorry.
Okay, I promise I will straighten this out with him tomorrow in person.
I don't care about your dad. I care about Mona.
She was there and now she's totally freaked out.
Ugh, okay, I'll fix that too. What's her e-mail address?
好吧 我也会跟她解释 告诉我她的电子邮件信箱
All right, I promise, I'll fix this. I swear I'll talk to her.
- Okay. Thank you. - Okay.
- 好吧 谢谢你 - 好吧
That's it? You call that a fight? Come on.
"We were on a break." "No we weren't." What happened to you two?
"我们要分手了" "不 我们没有" 你们两个是怎么了
Thank you so much for coming back over.
Oh, good. You're here.
Yeah, and I was worried that it was going to be uncomfortable.
I know. Mona, just hear me out.
不 蒙娜 听我说
First of all, I am so sorry about my father yelling at you.
But I heard that you totally held your own.
You're gonna have to tell me how you did that.
- Focus. - Okay. Um...
- 说重点 - 好吧
Okay, yes, Ross and I used to date.
And yes, we are gonna have a baby.
But we are definitely not getting back together.
- How can I be sure of that? - Oh, because we drove each other crazy.
- 我怎么能相信你的话 - 因为我们把彼此逼疯了
I mean, he was possessive, he was jealous.
He could never just let the little things go.
- Trying to date this woman. - Right.
- 试着去跟这个女人交往吧 - 好吧
But none of that compared to how kind and gentle...
...and thoughtful he is.
You probably shouldn't touch me.
You know, I just don't wanna get in the middle of something so complicated.
I get it. But, Mona, what relationship is not complicated?
我明白 但是蒙娜 哪段感情不复杂呢
We all have our baggage. You must too.
Why else would you still be single?
I'm so gonna leave right now.
Should I leave this open for you too?
I'm not sure yet. Why didn't you just tell me about all this?
Because what's going on with Rachel has nothing to do with how I feel about you.
- Well, you still should have told me. - I know, and I was going to...
- 你还是应该告诉我 - 我知道 我打算那么做…
...but I thought it was better that you heard it from Rachel's father.
Look, I made a mistake...
...but it's only because I really, really like you. Really.
Okay. I guess you can close the door now.
好吧 我想 你可以把门关上了
Forgot my purse. Oh, you guys made up.
He's a good kisser, isn't he?
I swear I didn't know she was a hooker. I mean...
Did you let her smoke in here?
Her ass-print is still on your grandmother's quilt.
Do you really want to talk about smoking?
You know what? I'm gonna make this up to you.
I promised you a stripper...
...and you're gonna get a stripper.
- Monica, wait. - What?
- 摩妮卡 等一下 - 什么
# If I had to give you up, It's only been a year #
# 如果我要放弃你 一年之前就会做了#
# Now, I got my foot through the door, and I ain't going nowhere #
# 现在 我迈出房门 却无处可去 #
# It took a while to get me in, and I'm gonna take my time #
# 需要花时间才能得到我 而我不慌不忙 #
Ooh. These tennis shoes are so tight.
- I think I'll take them off. - Could you not narrate?
- 我想把它们脱掉 - 麻烦你别说话
Just because you're not in love with the guy...
- Oh, you told your dad the truth. - About an hour ago.
- 你跟你爸说实话了 - 大约是一小时前
- Wanna go see a movie? - Yes.
- 你想去看电影吗 - 好
It's unacceptable, Rachel. What the hell does love have to do with it?
There are more important things in a marriage than love.
You have to consider the baby.
You have to think about the consequences of your decisions.
Hey, I do too think about the consequences of my decisions.
Well, what gives you the right to...?
Stupid guy on my phone.