He sprang to his sleigh To his team gave a whistle
And away they all flew Like the down of a thistle
But I heard him exclaim Ere he drove out of sight
"Merry Christmas to all And to all a good night."
- Wow. That was great. - Mm-hm.
- 哇 真是太棒了 - 嗯
You really wrote that?
- Say goodbye, elves. I'm off to Tulsa. - Aw.
- 再见了 精灵们 我要去土尔沙了 - 噢
I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas.
You're really not coming back?
Yeah, we have this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year.
- If I don't get it done, I'll be fired. - It's so unfair.
- 如果我不去做 我就会被炒鱿鱼 - 真是不公平
- You don't even like your job. - So? Who does?
- 你根本就不喜欢你的工作 - 那又如何 谁喜欢的？
- I like my job. - I love my job.
- 我喜欢我的 - 我爱我的工作
- I can't wait to go back to work. - I can't get enough dinosaurs.
- 我等不及要回去上班了 - 我对恐龙就是玩不厌
I'm sorry I won't be here.
It's just hard enough not seeing you during the week...
but for Christmas...
If this is what you have to do, I understand.
I'll see you New Year's Day.
You're not gonna be here New Year's Eve?
- Did I not mention that? - No.
- 我没有提过吗？ - 没有
And to all a good night.
All right, everybody. I know that it is Christmas Eve...
and you'd rather be with your families, but there is no call for writing:
"Screw you, Mr. Bing" on the back of my chair.
"去你的 宾先生" 站在我的椅子后面
By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
- Hey. - Hey. Where you been?
- 嘿 - 嘿 你跑哪去了？
I was, uh, checking out that insurance company's Christmas party on three.
It was really beautiful. They have all these decorations and this huge tree.
真的是很美 他们有很多装饰品 还有一颗很大的树
And I just thought, to hell with them, we have to work.
然后我就想 去他们的 我们竟然要工作
So I stole their ham.
You hear that? You may not be with your families...
but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.
My kid's in a play right now.
You know what? I know what will cheer you guys up.
I had a talk with the boys in New York.
I told them about all the hard work you've been doing...
and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
"A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet."
Well, that's like money in your pocket.
All right, look, you want me to say it? This sucks.
Being here sucks. This work sucks.
Now it feels like Christmas.
Hey, at least you get to go home and be with your families tonight.
I have to back to an empty hotel room and lay down...
on a very questionable bedspread.
Then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses.
然后明天 你们都可以 在自己家里过节
Which, by the way, none of you have invited me to.
- You can come to my house. - Ha, ha. No, thanks.
- 你可以来我家 - 不用了 谢谢
- It was a nice pep talk. - Oh, thanks.
- 真是精彩的精神讲话 - 谢谢
I'm actually thinking about becoming a motivational speaker.
So if you were home right now, what would you be doing?
Typical Christmassy stuff, you know. Our holidays are pretty traditional.
一般的圣诞节活动 你知道的 我们过节的方式是很传统的
So here's a very special holiday song...
that I wrote for some very important people to me.
Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap
Asked him to bring my friends All kinds of crap
Said all you need Is to write them a song
They haven't heard it yet So don't try to sing along
No don't sing along
Monica, Monica Have a happy Hanukkah
摩妮卡 摩妮卡 光明节快乐
Saw Santa Claus He said hello to Ross
And please tell Joey Christmas will be snowy
And Rachel and Chandler
Happy holidays, everybody.
Okay, Pheebs, look in the kitchen. I'll look in the back closet.
菲比 去检查厨房 我去看衣橱后面
I can save you time, ladies. I'm right here.
我可以节省你们的时间 女士们 我就坐在这里
Yeah. Chandler, why don't you take a walk?
This doesn't concern you.
We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
- What? That's terrible. - No, no. We do it every year.
- 什么？这实在太过分了 - 不 不 我们每年都这样
Oh, well, that makes it not terrible.
No. Yeah, we never find them. She's always bested us, that wily...
是啊 我们从来没有找到过 她总是高明过我们 那个狡猾又…
Don't worry. We're gonna search here for an hour...
and then we're gonna go to Joey's and search. Okay?
No, not okay. You can't look for Monica's presents.
不 不好 你们不可以找摩妮卡的礼物
- No, we have to. - No, you don't have to.
- 我们一定要 - 不 你们不需要这样
And you can't, because I live here too.
- Well, then you should look with us. - Why?
- 那么你应该帮我们找 - 为什么？
Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
钱德 你难道不烦恼要买什么 圣诞礼物给摩妮卡吗？
No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
不担心 我已想好一个 很棒的礼物要给她
Oh, pfft. That's it? A great idea again?
Chandler, that's not enough. What if she gets you a great present...
钱德 那是不够的 万一她送你的是一个很棒的礼物…
two medium presents and a bunch of little presents...
and you got her one great present? That's just gonna make her feel bad.
Why would you do that to her, Chandler? Why? Why?
- If I helped, we could find them faster. - That's right.
- 如果我帮忙 我们就可以更快找到 - 没错
- Ooh, ooh, we have a live one. - It's a Macy's bag.
- 喔…我找到一个了 - 这是梅西百货的袋子
- Oh. - Ooh. Who's it for?
- 噢 - 这是要给谁的？
"Dear Losers: Do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch?
"亲爱的失败者 你们真的认为 我会将礼物藏在沙发下面吗？
P.S. Chandler, I knew they'd break you."
附注 钱德 我就知道 她们可以说服你"
Rach, these are for you.
Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
是没有 但是加上这个有 新车味道的芳香剂 你会以为你有
Okay, Pheebs, your turn.
好了 菲比 轮到你了
Ah. Toilet seat covers.
Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
And for Ross, Mr. Sweet Tooth.
- You got me a cola drink? - And... a lemon-lime.
- 你们送我可乐？ - 还有…柠檬口味
Wow. Well, this... This is too much.
喔 这… 这礼物真是太大了
I feel like I should get you another sweater.
And last, but not least...
They're ribbed, for your pleasure.
What if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the Festival of Lights?
Years and years ago, there were these people called the Maccabees.
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas.
- Santa. - Hey.
- 圣诞老公公 - 嗨
What are you doing here, Santa?
Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben.
What are you doing here...
I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend.
You sent me here to give Ben some presents.
Okay, Ben, why don't you open some more presents?
Santa, the armadillo and I will have a talk in the kitchen.
There's a sentence I never thought I'd say.
What are you doing?
You called everyone and said you had trouble finding a Santa costume...
so I borrowed one from a guy at work.
Thank you, but you gotta leave.
- Why? - Because...
- 为什么？ - 因为…
I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah.
And you're wrecking it.
But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
I'm sorry, Chandler, but this is really important to me.
我很抱歉 钱德 但是这对我真的很重要
Okay, fine. I'll give the suit back.
好的 没关系 我去还这套衣服
Hey, you think you can keep it another night?
嘿 你觉得可以把 这套衣服多留一晚吗？
- Yeah, is that okay? - Did your dad ever dress up like Santa?
- 是啊 可以吗？ - 你爸爸有扮过圣诞老公公吗？
- No. - Then it's okay.
- 没有 - 那就没问题了
You know what, everybody?
Go home. You should be with your families.
It's bad enough that we're working New Year's Eve.
Did I not tell anyone about New Year's Eve?
All right, look, go. Go home, okay? Merry Christmas. Go.
好了 听着 回去 回家去 好吗？圣诞快乐
- Merry Christmas. - Peace on earth.
- 圣诞快乐 - 世界和平
ALL: Bye. - Good. Godspeed, good people.
- 再见 - 很好 快走 一群好人
- You're not gonna go? - Nah. I couldn't leave you alone.
- 你没有要走吗？ - 没有 我不能留你一个人在这里
Besides, I can't leave until that Christmas party downstairs clears out.
除此之外 我得等到楼下的派对 都结束了我才能走
There are some pissed-off insurance people looking for that ham.
- Chandler Bing. - Hi, honey. We're all here.
- 钱德宾 - 嗨 亲爱的 我们全部都在这里
We just want to wish you a Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas
- 圣诞快乐 - 圣诞快乐
Aw, merry Christmas. I miss you guys.
So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard?
Uh, well, no, it's just, uh, me and Wendy.
嗯 没有 只有我跟温蒂
Wendy? That sounds like a girl's name.
It is. Did I not tell you about her?
Mm-hm. About the time you told me about New Year's Eve.
- Where's everybody else? - I sent them home.
- 大家去哪了？ - 我让他们回家了
Oh, you are such a good boss. Is she pretty?
- Uh... Uh... - Answer faster. Answer faster.
- 噢 - 快点回答 快点回答
- I don't know. - Answer better. Answer better.
- 我不知道 - 回答高明点 回答高明点
I don't think of her that way. I mean, she's a, uh, colleague.
我没有那样想过她 我是说 她是我同事
- What does she do there? - Oh, she's regional vice president.
- 她在那边是做什么的？ - 她是区域副总
- She's just below me. - She did what?
- 她在我下面 - 她什么？
Oh, wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma?
等一下 温蒂是那个 奥克拉荷马小姐选美第二名吗？
Well, she didn't win.
All right, well, maybe I should let you...
and the second-prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work.
Well, second prettiest that year.
Of all the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably...
Chandler, stop talking.
Honey, there's really nothing to worry about.
- Okay. - I'm serious.
- 好的 - 我是说真的
- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.
- 圣诞快乐 - 圣诞快乐
- Merry Christmas, you guys. - Merry Christmas.
- 你们大家圣诞快乐 - 圣诞快乐
- The wife says hi. - Ah. Fun conversation?
- 我老婆打招呼 - 谈得愉快吗？
Ah, well, she's just got this weird idea that, uh...
嗯 她有一种奇怪的想法 认为…
just because you and I are alone something's gonna happen.
Hmm. Would that be so terrible?
This is probably the wrong thing to be worrying about...
but you're getting ham on my only tie.
- Whoa, back off, missy. - Ha, ha. Missy?
- 走开 小妞 - 小妞？
I don't know. I'm not used to girls making passes at me.
我不知道 我不习惯女孩子 对我采取行动
Wait a minute. Am I sexy in Oklahoma?
- You are to me. - No. No. No.
- 你对我是的 - 不 不 不
- Look, I'm married. - So? I'm married.
- 听着 我已经结婚了 - 那又如何？我也结婚了
I'm happily married.
Oh. What's that like?
- Right. So I'm sorry, but... - Seriously? Happily married?
- 是 所以我很抱歉 但是… - 真的？婚姻很幸福？
So that phone call before, that was happy?
Well, look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart.
She's entitled to be a little paranoid.
Or, in this case, right on the money.
You know, she's amazing and beautiful and smart.
And if she were here right now, she'd kick your ass.
Look, you're a really nice person, ham stealing and adultery aside.
听着 你是个很好的人 除了会偷火腿跟偷腥之外
But what I have with my wife is pretty great.
So nothing's ever gonna happen between us.
Okay, let me ask you something.
If what you and your wife have is so great...
then why are you spending Christmas with me?
You were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight.
- Really? - Are you kidding?
- 真的吗？ - 你不相信吗？
You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on? You and I just made out.
- You and I are making out? - Well, not anymore.
- 我们在亲吻？ - 嗯 已经没有了
But we don't do that.
I know. I just thought it would be fun.
- How drunk are you? - Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this.
- 你有多醉呢？ - 我醉到让我想要这样做…
Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
That's a perfect amount.
- You know what's weird? - What?
- 你知道什么很奇怪吗？ - 什么？
- This doesn't feel weird. - I know.
- 就是这感觉一点都不怪 - 我知道
- You're a really good kisser. - Well, I have kissed over four women.
- 你真是接吻高手 - 嗯 我吻过超过四个女人
- You wanna get under the covers? - Uh-huh.
- 你想要到棉被底下吗？ - 嗯
Wow, you are really fast.
It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.
- We're gonna see each other naked. - Yep.
- 我们将要看到彼此裸体了 - 是的
- You want to do it at the same time? - Count of three?
- 你想要一起看吗？ - 数到三？
Well, I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
Eh, we weren't that close anyway.
So are you really gonna go out with that nurse-man?
Well, uh, you and I are just goofing around.
I thought, why not just goof around with him?
I don't know if you've ever looked up the term "goofing around" in the dictionary.
我不知道你有没有查过字典 "玩玩 "是什么意思
And the technical definition is two friends...
who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex...
and just want to spend more time together.
But if you have this newfangled dictionary that gets you mad at me...
then we have to, you know, get you my original dictionary.
I am so bad at this.
I think you're better than you think you are.
- Really? Okay. So if...? - Know when to stop.
- 真的？好 那…？ - 要见好就收
You know, I sensed that I should stop.
- So we're okay? - Yeah.
- 我们没事了？ - 没事了
- Don't do the dance. - Right.
- 不要跳舞 - 好
I can't get married without something old, something new...
我没有什么旧的 什么新的 什么借来的
- something borrowed, something blue. - Okay, okay.
- 什么蓝色的… - 好的 好的
Here's something blue and new.
You are so efficient. I love you.
- Let's go. - No, no, wait.
- 我们走吧 - 不不 等一下
We need something old.
Okay. I have a condom in my wallet that I've had since I was 12.
好的 我有个保险套 我从十二岁就放在钱包里了
Okay. Now we just need something borrowed.
- Here, just take this. - That's stealing.
- 这个 拿去 - 这是偷窃
We'll bring it back. Just put it under your dress.
Okay, one thing at a time.
I've been thinking.
It's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding.
I mean, you work... You work really hard for that.
我是说 是你工作… 你辛苦工作赚来的
- Well... - Well, you work for that.
- 嗯… - 好吧 你工作赚来的
Look, I've thought about it too. And...
听着 我也有想过 而且…
I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
- You do? - Yeah. I'm putting my foot down.
- 你真的觉得吗？ - 是的 我确定了…
Yeah, look, when I proposed...
I told you that I would do anything to make you happy.
And if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then...
而如果一个完美的婚礼 能够让你快乐 那么…
Then that's what we're gonna do.
But wait. What about our...? What about the future and stuff?
Ah, forget about the future and stuff. So we only have two kids.
You know, we'll pick our favorite, and that one will get to go to college.
- You've thought about that? - Yeah.
- 你有想过我们的将来吗？ - 有啊
- How many kids were we gonna have? - Uh, four. A boy, twin girls...
- 我们要几个小孩呢？ - 四个 一个男生 双胞胎女生…
- What else did you think about? - Well, heh...
- 你还有想过什么呢？ - 嗯…
stuff like where we'd live, you know.
Like a small place outside the city where our kids could ride their bikes and stuff.
You know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar...
and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door.
Of course we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
I don't... I don't want a big, fancy wedding.
- Sure you do. - No.
- 你当然需要 - 不
I want everything that you've just said.
I want a marriage.
- You sure? - Mm-hm.
- 你确定吗？ - 嗯
- I love you so much. - I love you.
- 我好爱你 - 我爱你
- Ah! Oh, I love it. - Really? You're not gonna return it?
- 我太喜欢了 - 真的吗？你不会拿回去退吗？
Well, not this second.
Hey, look, you guys. It's snowing.
嘿 你们瞧 下雪了
- Oh, wow, it's so beautiful. - Wow, it really is.
- 哇 真漂亮 - 哇 真的是
Wendy's a fat-girl name.
Aren't we done with that?
Okay, fine. Fine. Let's talk about snow.
好啦 不说了 我们来聊雪
Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa...
where my husband's having sex on a copying machine?
- Hey. - Oh, my God.
- 嘿 - 喔 我的天
Hey. Look at that. It's a Christmas miracle.
- What are you doing here? - I wanted to be with you.
- 你在这里做什么呢？ - 我想要跟你在一起
I missed you so much.
- Hey, hey, uh, who'd you miss the most? - Monica.
- 嘿 你最想念谁呢？ - 摩妮卡
- I never wanna leave you again. - But I thought if you left, you'd get fired.
- 我再也不要离开你了 - 我以为若你走了会被炒鱿鱼
Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit.
- What? - What? You...? You really quit your job?
- 什么？ - 什么？你？你真的辞职了？
Yeah. It was a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you.
是的 那是份愚蠢的工作 而我无法忍受离开你
And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do...
what he really wants to do?
- Well, what do you really wanna do? - I have not thought this through.
- 那你真的想做什么呢？ - 这件事我还没想清楚
- Oh, my God. - I know. I should've talked to you first.
- 喔 我的天 - 我知道 我应该先跟你讨论的
No, I think that this is what you wanna do. I think it's great.
不 我想如果这是你想要的 我认为这很棒
Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could ever imagine.
钱德 你能够在这里 是我有过最棒的圣诞礼物了
- Now give me my real gift. - Yeah.
- 现在给我真正的礼物 - 好
- Thank you. - Here, pass those around.
- 谢谢 - 这里 分给大家
"A donation has been made in your name to the New York City Ballet."
How did you know?
What? Are you kidding? I can't return this.
I thought it was time we started thinking about other people.
And besides, this gift still says "I love you guys".
除此之外 这份礼物还包含了 "我爱你们"
- Mine says, "To Lillian Myers." - I don't have a job.
- 我的上面写"给莉莉安迈尔" - 我可是失业的人耶
Bookkeeper? Hmm, no.
Hey, you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner.
You are the head of the household. I don't do anything. I'm a kept man.
你是这个家的家长 我什么都没做 我是被供养的小白脸
Honey, here's 20 bucks.
Go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow.