You said you'd marry Joey?
Okay, you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional.
I would have said yes to anybody.
Like that time when you and I got married.
So you said yes to him, and you just had our baby?
That is right. And traditionally, the daddy gives the mommy a present.
But I am prepared to let that go.
So when I came here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again...
...you were engaged to my best friend?
I thought Chandler was your best friend.
Well, Chandler's my oldest friend. Joey's my... No!
Hey, I'm gonna take off. I just wanted to say goodbye.
嘿 我要走了 进来说一声再见
Rachel said she'd marry you?
This isn't the right room. Sorry, folks.
I don't want to be negative. So I'll say most of the signs you bought are good.
No, they ran out of "It's a Girl! " But I can fix this one.
"我是女生 "卖完了 但是我可以处理一下的
- Honey? - Yeah?
- 亲爱的？- 什么？
- Honey, why don't you lie down? - It's okay.
- 亲爱的 你何不去躺下休息呢？- 没关系
Ross and Rachel will be back soon, and then I gotta go to the office.
Am I producing them?
- Why are you so tired? - I couldn't sleep last night.
- 你为什么这样累呢？- 我昨晚无法入睡
I started worrying about this big divisional meeting I have today.
The more I worried, the more I couldn't sleep.
You know, and then I was, like, "If I fall asleep now, I'll get six hours' sleep.
你知道的 我会想 如果现在睡着 我顶多睡六小时
But if I fall asleep now, I'll get five hours' sleep."
No matter what I did, I couldn't fall asleep.
You know what you should've done? Told yourself that little story.
- Welcome home. - Hi.
- 欢迎回家 - 嗨
Phoebe did the signs.
You guys, thanks for doing this.
Look at all that stuff people sent.
Oh, my gosh. Look, there's something every mother needs.
哦 我的天啊 这正是每个母亲所需要的
A giant, stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment.
What are people think...? You guys, I love it.
Hey, so where's Ross?
He's downstairs getting the stuff out of the cab.
- Is he still mad at us? - Well, you more than me.
- 他还在气我们两个吗？- 气你多过于我
But he can't stay too mad at me. I mean, I just had his baby.
That's not fair. I can't do that.
I'm not sure you should be here when he comes up.
I didn't think I should be here either. But somebody said he'd be over it.
Hey, what do I know? I wanted to get a bigger gorilla.
The numbers we're seeing in Chicago, New York and London are solid.
But many of our field offices have reported disappointing yields.
Boston is down. Atlanta is down. Houston is down.
I could go on and on. But instead of boring you...
...l'll go straight to my 42-point plan.
She's just so cute.
I just want to bite her ear off and use it as a sucking candy.
But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
- Okay. I put most of the stuff away. - Oh, great. The pacifiers?
- 好了 我把大部分的东西都放好了 - 哦 太好了 奶嘴呢？
- It's in the cupboard. - The burping cloths?
- 在柜橱里 - 打隔围兜？
- Linen closet. - The diapers?
- 毛巾厨里 - 尿布？
- Wow, you guys got a hospital? Fancy. - No, I left the diapers at the hospital.
- 哇 你们有问医院？真酷 - 不 我把尿布忘在医院了
There's some in the bag, but I'll run out and get some more.
Could you stop at the coffeehouse and get me a muffin?
- Sure. What kind? - Let me think.
当然 什么口味的？- 让我想想
Please, take your time. It's an important decision, not like...
请你慢慢想 这是非常重要的决定 不像是
...say, I don't know, deciding to marry someone. This is about a muffin.
- Blueberry. - Blueberry it is.
- 蓝萄的- 好吧 蓝萄
Wow, he's not letting this go, is he?
哇 他还在记恨 对吧？
God, how long do you think that's gonna last?
I don't know. He got over the "We were on a break" thing quickly.
我不知道 他倒是对"暂时分手一下"那件事 释怀的挺快的
You know what, I can't worry about it right now.
Because I've got the cutie little baby.
I can't believe how much I love her. I mean, I can't get enough of her.
我无法相信我是这样的爱她 我是说 我太爱她了
Like, right now? I miss her. I actually miss her.
就像现在 我好想她 我真的好想她
You know, that's her?
God, look at her sleeping. I love her so much.
天啊 瞧她睡着的样子 我好爱她
- I think I'm gonna wake her up. - Rach, no.
- 我想我要把她吵醒 - 瑞秋 不要
You know, you're never supposed to wake a sleeping baby.
Well, I can do whatever I want. I made her.
Come on, little girl. Yes. Hello, Emma. Hello. Hi.
来吧 小女孩 哈喽 艾玛 哈喽 嗨
Well, I would say I told you so, but she's kind of doing that for me.
I'm sorry. Mommy's so sorry. Go back to sleep.
- It breaks your heart, doesn't it? - It really does.
- 这真是令人心疼 不是吗？- 没错
How long do you think we have to stay?
Okay, if everyone's onboard, it's settled.
- Chandler? - Yeah.
- 钱德？- 怎样
Well, then problem solved. Chandler will run our office in Tulsa.
You're gonna love Oklahoma.
All right. We already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her...
好了 我们已经喂过她了 换过尿布 帮她打隔了…
Try this one. "Go back in time and listen to Phoebe."
- All right, here's something. - What?
- 好了 试试看这个 - 什么？
It says to try holding the baby close to your body...
...and then swing her rapidly from side to side.
No. Just stopped to throw up a little bit.
Mon, what am I gonna do?
It's been hours, and it won't stop crying.
- She, Rach. Not it. She. - Yeah. I'm not so sure.
- 她 瑞秋 不是它 是她 - 是哦 我可不太确定了
- Oh, my God, I'm losing my mind. - Yeah, no kidding.
- 哦 我的天啊 我快疯了 - 是啊 说得没错
All right, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross!
Hey, Gunther. Can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go?
嘿 甘瑟 我要外带几个蓝莓松饼
- Diapers, huh? - Yep.
- 尿布 是吧？- 是的
So I guess Rachel had your baby?
- Yep. Can you believe it? - Nope.
- 是啊 你能相信吗？- 不能
I can't even believe she slept with you in the first place.
I know you're pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
Actually, we don't.
Fine. Okay. But I gotta say, technically, I didn't even do anything wrong.
随便 但是我要说技术上而言 我并没有做错什么
What? You didn't do anything wrong?
- I said I didn't technically. - Okay.
- 我说是技术上而言 - 好的
Let's put aside the fact that you "accidentally"...
...picked up my grandmother's ring and you "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
Can I just stop you there for a second?
When people do this:
I don't really know what that means.
And I could even understand that you couldn't tell Rachel.
But why couldn't you tell me? You had all day to, and you didn't.
I know. I should've. "I'm sorry."
Not using it right, Joe.
- I'm gonna go. - No, come on.
- 我要走了 - 不 别这样
- Ross, we have to get past this. - Give me the bag.
- 罗斯 我们必须要放下这件事 - 把袋子给我
No, I don't know what else to do. I said I'm sorry, now...
不 我不知道还能怎样 我已经道歉了 现在…
Now you should scream at me or curse me or hit me.
- I'm not gonna hit you. - You'll feel better. I'll feel better.
- 我不会打你的- 你会比较好过 我也会比较好过
You know you want to, I can see it in your eyes.
你知道 你想打我 我从你眼中看得出来
- I don't. - A little bit.
- 我不想 - 有一点
- No. - Little bit.
- 不想 - 有一点
- No. - A little bit more.
- 不想 - 多一点了
- Give me the bag. Give me the bag. - No, hit me. Hit me.
- 把那个袋子给我 把袋子给我 - 不 打我 打我
- Give me the bag. I'm not kidding. - Hit me.
- 给我袋子 给我袋子 - 打我
- No. - Hit me. Hit me. Hit me!
- 不 - 打我 打我 打我
- You ducked! - I'm sorry! It was a reflex!
- 你闪开了 - 我很抱歉 这是反射动作
- Oh, my God! This really hurts! - I couldn't help it.
- 哦 天啊 真的好痛 - 我不得不闪哪
When a fist comes at your face, you duck. Look.
当有拳头要打上你的脸 你会闪啊 瞧
What is the matter with you?
You were supposed to duck! Why didn't you?
Let's talk on the way to the hospital.
Good. Yeah, maybe while we're there, they can check your reflexes.
好 是啊 或许当我们过去的时候他们可以检查一下你的反射神经
- Try feeding her again. - I already fed her.
- 再喂她看看 - 我已经喂过了
I know. That's why I said, "Again! "
You guys, we can't turn on each other, okay?
你们 我们不可以窝里反 好吗？
That's just what she wants.
- Can I talk to you outside? - Just stay here.
- 我们可以到外面谈谈吗？- 待在这里
I'm gonna check her diaper. Pheebs, you want to come?
我要去检查她的尿布 菲比 你要不要一起来呢？
I'm kind of part of this.
Actually, it's a husband-and-wife kind of thing.
I knew I should've married Chandler.
- Okay, what's up? - Okay.
- 好了 怎么回事呢？- 好的
You know we said it would be fun to move to Paris for a year?
And you could study French cooking, and I could write...
...and we could picnic along the Seine, and go wine-tasting in Bordeaux.
- Yeah. - Okay.
- 是啊 - 很好
You know how people say that Tulsa...
...is the Paris of Oklahoma?
What? Who says that?
People who have never been to Paris?
- Well, what's going on? - We're moving to Tulsa.
- 到底是怎么回事？- 我们要搬去土尔沙了
- Excuse me? - Okay.
- 你说什么？- 好吧
Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss.
She asked me to move to Tulsa and be president of our office there.
And I was sleeping and apparently said yes.
- Tulsa, Oklahoma? - The Sooner State.
- 奥克拉荷马州的土尔沙？- 早到者之州
Whatever that is.
Chandler, I don't even want to see the musical Oklahoma.
"Oh, What a Beautiful Morning, " "Surrey With the Fringe on Top"?
Are you trying to tell me we're moving to Oklahoma or that you're gay?
All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise?
好吧 这些都没关系 但至少他们有帮你加薪吧？
No. But they are going to lease us a Ford Focus.
- I'll get out of it. - Thank you.
- 我会试着脱身 - 谢谢
- What is wrong with Emma? - She misunderstood.
- 艾玛是怎么了？- 她误会了
She thought she was moving to Tulsa.
Ma'am, do you have a minute?
I kind of have some bad news. I don't think I can move to Tulsa.
- What? - It's a funny story, actually.
- 什么？- 事实上这是件很好笑的事
I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning.
So when I said I'd move to Tulsa, I didn't really know what I was saying.
But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting.
Isn't that funny?
Irony. Not a fan? All right.
See, here's the thing.
I went home and told my wife about Tulsa, and she won't go.
See me, I love Tulsa. Tulsa is heaven. Tulsa is Italy.
至于我 我爱死土尔沙了 土尔沙是天堂 土尔沙是意大利
Please don't make me go there.
No, look, Carol. Can I call you Carol?
听着 凯萝 我可以叫你凯萝吗？
Why would I when your name is Elaine?
What a great picture of your son. Strapping.
That's a picture of your daughter, isn't it?
Well, she's lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw.
I'll call you from Tulsa.
Hey. So how is it?
- I broke my thumb. - Your thumb?
- 我的拇指断了 - 你的拇指？
That's weird. Are you sure you're punching right?
Ross, I feel terrible.
You know what, you can go. I just have to fill out some forms.
You want me to help you with that?
Why, does it look like I'm having trouble with my misshapen claw?
No, I know Ross. But what's it short for?
You know, like Rossell.
- Okay, date of birth? - You know my birthday.
- 好了 生日呢？- 你知道我生日的
- October 18. - Occupation? Dinosaurs.
- 十月十八日 - 职业？恐龙
Actually, I'm a paleon... Dinosaurs is fine.
The drawing is not.
All right, who do you want as your emergency contact?
- Rachel, I guess. - Okay. Relationship?
- 瑞秋 我想应该是吧 - 好的 关系呢？
Boy, this could take a while.
- Just put roommate. - Come on.
- 写室友 - 少来了
You guys are more than that. You're gonna get together, right?
你们比室友还更进一步 你们要在一起了 不是吗？
I don't think that we are.
But you two are supposed to be together.
Well, I thought so too. But then she said she'd marry you.
Come on, Ross, that didn't mean anything.
别这样 罗斯 那根本没有什么
She'd just had the baby. She was freaked out about doing it alone.
她才刚生产完 吓坏了 要独自扛起一切
- She would have said yes to anybody. - Yeah, that's what she said.
- 任何人求婚 她都会答应的 - 是啊 她也是这样说
- So? - So I don't want to be just anybody.
- 所以呢？- 所以我不想要当任何人
- Wow. - You know what?
- 哇 - 你知道吗？
It's better this way anyway.
I don't know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us.
It's just much easier if we're just friends who have a kid.
如果我们纯粹做朋友 只是有个小孩 那事情就会简单多了
- Really? - Yeah.
- 真的吗？- 是啊
- And you're okay with that? - Yes. That's what we always planned.
- 你这样没关系吗？- 是啊 这本来就是我们的计划
And if you have a plan, you should stick to it.
That's why they call them plans. Hello?
Hey, for what it's won'th...
...with Rachel, I don't think you'll ever be just "anybody."
Hey, there you go.
Oh, my God. How long has she been crying?
喔 天啊 她哭多久了？
About a week and a half.
Well, it looks like you guys got it under control, so I'm just gonna go.
No? Really? Misery really does love company?
- Try holding her a different way. - Look, I'm doing the best I can.
- 试着用另一种方式抱她 - 我已经尽力而为了
- Anyone else is welcome to try. - All right, I'll try. Fine.
- 任何人都欢迎来试试看 - 好吧 我来试试看
- Yes. Okay. Okay. - Here you go.
- 好了 好的 好的 - 抱去吧
Nothing works with this child!
God, what am I gonna do, you guys? I can't even comfort my own baby.
- I'm the worst mother ever. - No, you're just new at this.
- 我是史上最糟的母亲 - 不 你只不过是不熟悉罢了
You'll get better. Think about your first day at work.
That couldn't have been easy, but you figured that out.
Yeah, I don't think dressing provocatively is going to help me here!
- God, just please take her. - Okay, I'll take her. Come on.
- 天啊 请帮我抱一下 - 好 我来抱 来吧
Oh, boy, I have to go to the bathroom.
噢 天啊 我要去上一下厕所
I have to go scream into a pillow.
Bouncy. Bouncy baby. Bouncy baby.
活泼 活泼的宝贝 活泼的宝贝
Oh, baby, baby. Oh, baby, baby.
哦 宝贝 宝贝 哦 宝贝 宝贝
Oh, baby, baby, baby.
哦 宝贝 宝贝 宝贝
It worked. Oh, baby, baby, baby. Oh, baby, baby, baby.
有效了 哦 宝贝 宝贝 宝贝 哦 宝贝 宝贝 宝贝
You must be a fireball in bed!
I can't believe it. She's asleep. I got her to go to sleep.
我不敢相信 她睡着了 我让她睡着了
I have actual magical powers.
I can hear traffic and birds.
I can hear the voices in my head again.
Oh, my God! You got her to stop crying!
哦 我的天 你让她不再哭了
Yes, I did. I'm Monica, super aunt.
是的 我办到了 我是超级莫妮卡姑姑
- You are the official baby-crier stopper. - Yes, I am.
- 你是正式的婴儿止哭专家 - 是啊 我正是
- You're never leaving the apartment. - Say what?
- 你永远都不能离开这间公寓了 - 什么？
That's your new job, day or night. She starts crying, I need you here.
这是你的新工作 日夜兼顾 只要她一哭 你就得在这里
- No, no, no. - Thankfully, you don't need me at all.
- 不 不 不 - 很庆幸 你一点都不需要我
So okay. Hey, super aunt? See you later.
那么 嘿 超级姑姑下次见咯
Rachel? Let's give it six to eight months.
Okay, so listen, I'm gonna go lay down.
好的 听着 我要去睡一下
The book says whenever she's sleeping, I should be sleeping.
- We just got her to go to sleep. - So there can't be any yelling?
- 我们才刚让她睡着 - 所以现在不能大声吼叫咯
- We're moving to Tulsa. - What?
- 我们要搬去土尔沙了 - 什么？
I can't... I can't hear.
- Hey. - Hey. Where have you been?
- 嘿 - 嘿 你去哪了？
- What happened to you? - I had a little thing with Joey.
- 发生什么事了？- 我跟乔伊打了起来
If you think this is bad, you should see him.
No, Ross, this is not good.
不 罗斯 这真的很糟
We have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit.
All right, you have got to get over this Joey thing.
Okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay?
You know what I really, really want?
I wanna eat. I wanna take a shower.
I mean, before she wakes up, and we gotta do this all over again.
- Right. - I mean, because I got news for you, mister.
- 没错 - 因为我必须告诉你
Emma: Not easy.
Well, that's what I'm here for.
- You want me to get that? - No, that's really okay.
- 你要我去吗？- 不 真的没关系
- Monica? - Got it, got it, got it, got it.
- 莫妮卡？- 来了 来了 来了
I've been thinking about this. And I gotta tell you, it's not my fault.
我一直在想 而且我要告诉你 这不是我的错
- It's a natural instinct. - What are you talking about?
- 那是自然的本能 - 你们在说什么？
Okay, what would you do if I did this?