It's so weird. How did Joey end up kissing Charlie last night?
- I thought you'd end up kissing Charlie. - I thought I'd end up kissing Charlie too.
- 我还以为最后会是你去亲查莉 - 我也这么以为啊
I missed most of the party.
Charlie's a girl, right?
Yeah, she's this new professor in my department that I did not kiss.
是的 她是刚到我系上来 而我没亲到的那个新教授
I don't know why Joey had to kiss her. Of all the girls at the party, God!
我不知道为什么乔伊要亲她 有这么多女生在派对上 天啊
Why do you care so much?
Yes, Rachel. Why do you care so much?
是啊 瑞秋 你为什么这么在乎呢？
Because Ross is the father of my child.
You know, and I want him to hook up with lots of women.
你知道的 而我希望他可以有机会 跟很多女人交往
All I'm saying is, I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
我的意思是说 我不认为乔伊跟查莉 有任何相同之处
I don't know. They seemed to have a shared interest in each other's tonsils.
我不知道 他们似乎对彼此的扁桃腺 有相同的兴趣
Wow. Joey and a professor. Can you imagine if they had kids?
哇 乔伊跟大学教授 你们能想像万一他们有小孩吗？
And if the kids got her intelligence...
and Joey's raw sexual magnetism...
those nerds would get laid!
All right. So, Ross, you're okay with all this? I mean...
It's no big deal. I just met her. I'm fine with it.
又没有什么大不了的 我才刚认识她 我没事的
God, I forgot how hot she was.
- I'm gonna get some more coffee. - Hi.
- 我要去多倒些咖啡 - 嗨
- Oh, you know, I'll come with you. - Okay.
- 喔 我跟你去 - 好的
- So a professor, huh? - Yeah. She is cool. And she's so smart.
- 是教授吗？ - 是啊 她真酷 而且很聪明
Her mind is totally acrimonious.
Guess that's not how she used it.
I feel like I owe you an explanation.
I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties.
Well, I'm kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don't think less of me.
嗯 我有点难为情 我希望你不会因此而瞧不起我
Think less of you? No. I don't think less of you.
I mean, you saw someone you liked and you kissed them.
我是说 你看到喜欢的人 然后你亲了他
Those people who like someone and don't kiss them...
those people are stupid. I hate those people.
Actually, I'm a little surprised at myself.
I mean, Joey's so different from the guys I usually date.
我是说 乔伊跟我以前 交往的人太不同了
They're all professors, intellectuals. Paleontologists mostly.
他们全都是教授 高知识分子 大部分是古生物学家
- You know, very cerebral... - Yeah, I know the type.
- 你知道非常有理智… - 是的 我知道那一类型的人
If we want to grab a bite before work, we'd better get acrimonious.
No? Am I getting close?
Hey, you guys. Look what I just got.
Oh, wow! I love those! Where did you get them?
哇 我喜欢这双鞋 你去哪买的？
I bought them off eBay. They used to belong to the late Shania Twain.
Phoebe, Shania Twain is still alive.
Oh, then I overpaid.
Hey, what's this?
Oh, it's a gift certificate to this new spa in SoHo.
喔 那是苏活区一间 新开的水疗中心的礼券
You can't show Phoebe this. She hates those corporate massage chains.
What, now I can't get a massage?
There are so many things that she disapproves of.
I can't eat veal. I can't wear fur.
I can't go hunting.
- Do you want to go hunting? - I would like to have the option.
- 你想要去打猎吗？ - 至少我要有选择的权利
- What's that? Hey, Rachel? - Ah...
- 那是什么？嘿 瑞秋？ - 啊
No, you can't go there!
You know how I feel about these big massage places.
They're putting people like me out of business.
She wants to go hunting too!
Phoebe, come on, I don't want to waste it.
菲比 别这样 我不想浪费掉
It would be like throwing away 100 bucks.
Okay, this is not about the money. Okay?
It's about corporate greed destroying our hearts...
and leaving us hollow shells.
I don't care about any of that.
Well, do you care about friendship? I feel really strongly about this.
那你在乎我们的友谊吗？ 我对这个真的很反感 瑞秋
Please don't use this gift certificate. I'm asking you as a friend.
Oh, not as a friend. Phoebe!
喔 不要以朋友的身份 菲比
Fine. I won't use it.
- Promise? - I promise.
- 保证吗？ - 我保证
- Thank you. - Well, I am going hunting.
- 谢谢 - 不过我会去打猎的
Hey, honey. I missed you today.
嗨 亲爱的 我今天好想你
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah. Hey.
- 喔 是吗？ - 是啊
- What do you wanna do tonight? - Oh, well, maybe we could, uh...
- 你今晚想要做什么呢？ - 或许我们可以…
Okay, trying to turn me on by making a mess?
好 想用把东西弄乱 来让我性奋吗？
Know your audience.
Besides, tomorrow we're doing those fertility tests.
Until then, you need to keep your tadpoles in the tank.
Do we really need to take those tests?
We've been trying to have a baby for a year.
I think it's a good idea to find out if everything's okay.
- Just a few routine tests. - But I don't want to do it in a cup.
- 只是几样例行的检查 - 但我不想要弄在一个杯子里
- What is the big deal? - It's weird! You're in a doctor's office.
- 有什么大不了的呢？ - 很怪 在诊所里
It's not okay to do it in a doctor's office...
but it is okay to do it in a parked car behind a Taco Bell?
I cannot believe Ross told you that.
And in my defense, it was a Wendy's.
Look, I don't want to do these tests either.
But I really do think it's a good idea.
I'm sure a doctor's office can't be worse...
than on a class trip to the Hershey factory.
Oh, yeah! Rachel talks too!
喔 是的 瑞秋也是大嘴巴
Who says wine has to cost more than milk?
- Come on in. How are you? - I'm good.
- 请进 你好吗？ - 我很好
- Can I offer you a drink? - Please.
- 你要喝一杯吗？ - 麻烦了
I have been crazed all day.
I had a meeting with the dean, my syllabus for summer school's due...
and I'm writing the foreword for a book.
I had a pretty hectic day at work too. Today I had to open a door and go:
So I am just so excited to be here.
- I can't wait to explore the city. - If you need a tour guide...
- 我等不及要发掘这个城市了 - 如果你需要导游…
Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun.
Oh, yeah, definitely. Definitely. Okay. What do you want to see first?
喔 一定的 好了 你想先去哪里呢？
We could go see the Kronos Quartet at Avery Fisher Hall.
There's a collection of Walt Whitman letters on display at the public library.
- But first, I have to see the Met. - Okay, let me stop you right there.
- 但我想先去看看大都会 - 好的 让我先打断一下…
The Mets suck, okay?
You wanna see the Yankees.
No. No, not the Mets. The Met. Singular.
不 不是《大都会队》 是大都会 不是那支队伍
Which one? They all suck.
I don't think so.
- Hi there. - Hello. Welcome to Lavender Day Spa.
- 嗨 - 哈罗 欢迎光临薰衣草芳香疗法
How may I help you?
Hi. I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green.
嗨 我是瑞秋葛林 我有预约按摩
- Okay. - And here is my gift certificate.
- 好的 - 这是我的礼卷
- This has been torn up. - And taped back together.
- 这被撕掉了 - 而且被黏回去了
Okay. Well, I'll call you as soon as your massage therapist is ready.
好的 等您的按摩师准备好后 我会 马上通知您的
- Okay. - Have a seat through the glass doors.
- 好的 - 请在玻璃门外的沙发坐一下
- Through the glass doors. - Through the glass doors.
- 在玻璃门外 - 在玻璃门外
Phoebe, your next client's in the waiting room.
菲比 你的下一位客人 在候客室等着
Do we have to talk like that when they're not around?
好 当客人不在的时候 我们也要这样说话吗？
Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me?
- Sorry. Everyone is booked. - That woman can't know I work here.
- 抱歉 大家都被约了 - 那女人不能知道我在这工作
She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink...
about how awful these massage chains are.
- Then why do you work here? - Because it's good money.
- 那你为什么要在这里工作呢？ - 因为薪水很好啊
But that doesn't change the fact...
that this is an evil, bloodsucking corporate machine.
Well, I think this is a great place to work.
Okay, are they listening?
- Ross. Hey. - Hi.
- 罗斯 - 嗨
I need to talk to you about Charlie.
Oh, do you? Do you really?
Yeah, I'm kind of having a little problem.
Look, if you don't know what the word "acrimonious" means, just don't use it.
听着 如果你不知道"尖酸刻薄" 是什么意思 那就不要用它
Look, you know Charlie, right?
听着 你了解查莉 不是吗？
- She's cool, funny, her body is so... - Get to the problem.
- 她很酷 风趣 而且她的身材又很… - 说重点
Right. She's just so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated.
好的 她只是比我约会过的 所有女生…
You know? And I just... I don't want her to think I'm stupid.
Are you wearing two belts?
Hey, what do you know?
- You were saying you didn't want to seem stupid. - Yeah
- 你刚刚说你不想看起来很笨 - 对
Well, she wants to go to all these cultural places...
嗯 她想要去那些 很有文化的地方…
and I don't know how to talk about that stuff. You gotta help me out.
I don't want to get involved in your guys' relationship.
Oh, dude, please. Come on, you're the smartest person I know.
老兄 拜托 别这样 你是我认识最聪明的人
And I really like this girl, okay? I don't want to lose her.
- Fine. - Thanks.
- 好啦 - 谢谢
Okay. Let's see.
- Oh, you should take her to the Met. - The Mets.
- 喔 你应该带她去大都会 - 是《大都会队》
No, no, no. The Met. The Metropolitan Museum of Art.
不 是大都会 大都会艺术博物馆
Oh, that's what she meant.
If they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the "Muse," you know?
如果他们要用简称 应该把它 叫做"博物" 你知道吗？
Short for "museum" and avoid all the confusion.
Yeah, most days the place is packed with confused, angry baseball fans.
- Okay. All right, so I'll take her to the Met. - Okay
- 好的 那我带她去大都会 - 对
Yeah. Okay. There's this great rare bookstore on Madison Avenue.
对了 在麦迪逊大道上 有间很棒的书店
You know what? She loves architecture.
You should take a walk down Fifth to the St. Patrick's Cathedral.
And there, there's this great little pastry shop that she'd love.
Jeez. Sounds like you should be going on this date.
天啊 听起来好像 是你应该去约会才对
- And you know what...? - Okay, slow down.
- 而你知道吗？ - 好的 说慢一点
You're going way too fast. Okay?
- Just go back to the Met. - Okay.
- 先回去讲大都会 - 好的
So you gotta tell me exactly what to do there.
When you walk into the museum, take a right, okay?
That's the antiquities wing.
Ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, up to the Byzantine Empire.
古埃及 美索不达米亚直到 拜占庭帝国
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Okay. So I walk in the door and make a right.
好的 所以我进门以后 往右转…
I have a weird feeling about this place. How do I know...
they won't secretly videotape me and put it all over the Internet?
Because, honey, and I mean this in the sweetest way possible...
因为 亲爱的… 我以我能做到最甜美的方式告诉你…
nobody's gonna wanna watch that.
Mr. Bing? Here you are.
Go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Deposit my specimen?
I usually have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk.
All right. Honey, my tests are down the hall.
好了 亲爱的 我的检查在另外一边
- Are you sure you're gonna be okay? - Yeah, I guess.
- 你确定你可以吗？ - 是的 我想应该吧
Look, I know this is embarrassing, but nobody cares.
听着 我知道这很尴尬 但是没有人在乎啊
No one here even knows you.
How great is this?
We're probably fertile. Let's go home.
Why are you here?
Sid and I are trying again and we had trouble last time...
No, no, no. I mean, why? Why is she here?
不 我是说 为什么？为什么她会在这里？
Oh, someone's a little cranky today because they have to do it in a cup. Ha, ha, ha.
Oh, they gave you the kiddie size.
This was fun. But I've got an invasive vaginal exam to get to.
I'd love to stay but I've got a hot date.
Please go. Just let me know if you need a hand. Ha, ha, ha.
I think it just fell off.
It's time for your massage, ja?
Put your face in the hole.
A Swedish massage from a real Swedish person.
Okay, then I'm Swedish.
So, what's your name?
It's a normal Swedish name.
- Wow. What an interesting name. - Yeah.
- 哇 真是有趣的名字 - 是啊
- You know, I... - Time for your scalp massage.
- 你知道 我… - 头皮按摩时间到了
Wow. I really love your...
- Is something wrong? - No, it's just, um...
- 有什么不对吗？ - 不 只是…
It just feels so good...
Hey, say, you'll know this. What's the capital of Sweden?
嘿 看你知不知道这个 瑞典的首都是哪里呢？
Damn. I wish I knew if that was right.
Note the painterly lines and subtle impasto on this canvas.
看那些线条 潜藏多层颜料 厚涂在画布上…
Monet painted quickly, and usually outdoors...
as his elusive subject was light itself.
Now, do you have any idea what you just said?
No, no. My mouth says the words, my brain is thinking "monster trucks."
不 我的嘴巴说着那些字 但是我的头脑想的是"怪兽卡车"
Now, remember, when you get to the museum...
现在 记住 当你进入博物绾时…
Monet is not spelled M-O-N-A-Y. I just...
- I wrote that out phonetically for you. - Phonetically?
- 帮你用注音写下来 - 注音？
Yeah, that means... We just don't have time for this.
是的 那是… 我们没有时间讨论那些了
I gotta say, I'm really impressed you were able to memorize all this so quickly.
I'm an actor. I can memorize anything.
Last week on Days, I had to say:
"Frontal temporal zygomatic craniotomy."
- Wow. What does that mean? - No idea.
- 哇 那是什么意思呢？ - 不知道
But the guy I said it to dies in the next scene...
so I guess it means, "You'll get eaten by a bear."
- So let's move on to the Renaissance. - Okay.
- 那我们来看文艺复兴时期 - 好的
Caravaggio uses chiaroscuro here...
to high light the anguish of the central figure.
Touch it. It's really bumpy.
Nuh-uh. Uh-uh. No, no, no. No ad-libbing. And, dude, you can't touch the paintings.
不 不能即兴演出 还有 你不能乱碰画的
- Come on. - No. No!
- 担心什么？ - 不 不
My specimen's in the room.
I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there.
Really helped speed the process along.
Janice, you're not gone?
Sid is still in his room.
I don't allow porn at home, so this is like a vacation for him.
So did you do it? Did you make your deposit?
- Yeah. The hard part's over. - That's not the hard part, honey.
- 是啊 最难的部分结束了 - 那不是最难的 亲爱的
The hard part's what comes next. Aren't you worried about the results?
I haven't even thought about the results.
I just assumed everything would be okay.
Well, you know what? It probably is.
But what if it's not okay?
I mean, what if there's a reason we can't have a baby?
Chandler. Look, you and Monica are meant to have children.
钱德 听着 你跟摩妮卡一定会有小孩
I'm sure it's gonna be just fine.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Thanks. I can't believe I didn't even think of that.
是啊 是啊 好了 谢谢 我不敢相信我竟然没有想过
I guess I was so worried about having to come here and do that.
You can do it in a Taco Bell parking lot...
but you can't do it at a doctor's office?
And that's the Swedish national anthem. Thank you for asking.
What a rich culture.
You know what? I have a friend who's a masseuse.
- Oh? Ja, ja? - Ja. She's not very good, though.
- 喔？是吗？ - 是啊 不过她不是很内行
- And why do you think that is? - I don't know.
- 你为什么会那样觉得呢？ - 我不知道
Maybe it's because she's got such callousy fingers...
from playing crummy guitar.
Or maybe she has trouble loosening your knots...
because you're such a high-maintenance tight-ass.
- Phoebe! - You know it's me?
- 菲比 - 你知道是我？
Well, for like a half an hour!
Man, you can lie about Sweden!
How can you come here?
- Why didn't you tell me you work here? - I don't have to tell you everything!
- 你为什么没说你在这工作呢？ - 我不需要告诉你每件事
You do if you're gonna make me feel guilty for getting a free massage.
如果你让我觉得来这里享受免费按摩 是很罪恶的事 那你就要
- Tip's not included. - Oh!
- 小费还是要照算的 - 噢
Why did you lie to me about working here?
Because I was ashamed, okay? I sold out for the cash.
And they give me benefits, like medical and dental and a four-oh-wunk.
But, you know, you pay a price. Now I'm this corporate stooge...
但是你知道的 要付出代价的 现在我成了大公司的傀儡
and punching a clock...
Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much...
菲比 亲爱的 如果 你这么痛恨这工作…
you should walk out there right now and quit.
Be true to what you believe in.
Honey, you have principles, and I so admire that.
亲爱的 你是有原则的人 所以我很钦佩你的
I don't have any.
You know what? You're right. I am gonna quit.
- It's time I took my life back. - Good for you, Pheebs.
- 该是我重新生活的时候了 - 很好 菲比
If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that.
Aha! Got you! Die! Die! Die!
打到了 死吧 死吧 死吧
- Respectfully, Professor R. Geller. Hey. - Hi.
- 诚挚地 盖勒教授敬上 - 嗨
- Hey, how was the Met? - Oh!
- 嘿 大都会好玩吗？ - 噢
- The museum was amazing. - Yeah?
- 博物馆真的很惊人 - 真的？
Yeah, Joey really knows his art, huh?
He had clearly memorized all this stuff to say...
and some of it didn't even make any sense.
- What do you mean? - Well, for one...
- 你是什么意思呢？ - 嗯 例如…
he was talking about paintings that were nowhere around.
Wait a minute. When you guys walked into the Met, did you go to the right?
等等 你们进入博物馆之后 是拄右边走吗？
- No. No, we went to the left. - Oh, Joey, Joey, Joey.
- 不不 我们往左边走 - 喔 乔伊 乔伊 乔伊
Still, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.
Yeah. Yeah, it's fun.
Actually, Joey's your friend...
and you don't know me that well. It'd be weird.
Well, I mean, a little. But no, what? Go on.
嗯 可能会有点 但是不会啦 怎样呢？跟我说
I'm thinking that maybe Joey isn't the right guy for me right now.
You know, maybe I should be with someone...
I have more in common with. You know what I mean?
Yeah, but you know what?
I think you should give Joey a chance.
I mean, he's a great guy.
And sure, he doesn't know that much about art...
but you can always talk about that with someone else.
- I guess that's true. - If you think about it...
- 我想也是 - 如果你仔细想想…
he memorized all that stuff because he thought it was important to you.
You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is.
He is very sweet.
Plus, he is hot!
That was gonna be my next argument.
- You ready? - Yeah. Let's go.
- 你准备好了吗？ - 好了 我们走吧
- Thanks, Ross. - Yeah.
- 谢了 罗斯 - 不客气
Hey, Ross. That art stuff worked. You hooked me up.
嘿 罗斯 艺术那些东西真是有效 你真帮了大忙
Glad I could help, man.
Some of the stuff wasn't where you said it would be, but I made it work.
It is not okay that I'm aroused by this now.
Oh. Hi, Dr. Connelly.
喔 嗨 唐纳利医生
No. Well, she's not here...
but I can tell her.
Should I be sitting down for this?
Well, so, what does that mean?
Okay. Okay, thank you.
好的 好的 谢谢你
Dr. Connelly just called.
With good news? Of course it's not good news.
You said, "Dr. Connelly just called."
If it was good, you'd have said, "Dr. Connelly just called!"
如果是好消息你会说 "唐纳利医生刚刚打电话来 "
So, what is it? Is it?
Is there a problem? Is there a problem with me, or with you?
Actually, it's both of us.
Apparently, my sperm have low motility...
and you have an inhospitable environment.
Well, what does that mean?
It means that my guys won't get off their Barcaloungers...
and you have a uterus that is prepared to kill the ones that do.
- It means... - Wait, Chandler.
- 意思是 - 等等 钱德
It means that we can keep trying...
but there's a good chance this may never happen for us.
we're gonna figure this out.
- Good morning, Phoebe. - Good morning, receptionist.
- 早安 菲比 - 早安 总机小姐
Here's your schedule for the day. Your first client is in Room 1.
"Rachel Green." Son of a bitch! She came back?
"瑞秋葛林" 狗娘养的 她又回来了？
Are you ready for your Scottish massage?
Put your face in the hole, lassie!