I love my new job!
- Honey, you're screaming. - You bet your ass I am.
- 亲爱的 你在吼叫 - 你说的没错 我就是
I just had the best first day ever.
The kitchen? Twice as big as Allessandro's.
- Oh, that's great. - Yeah.
- 喔 太棒了 - 对
And clean? Not just Health Department-clean, Monica-clean.
说到干净 不只是符合卫生局标准 是摩妮卡式的干净
Oh, and the people are so nice.
There's this one guy, Jeffrey, he's the maitred.
Chandler, you will love him.
He is without a doubt the funniest guy I have ever met.
- This is nice. - I know.
- 这真棒 - 我知道
- You need both hands for that? - Yeah, I kind of do.
- 你需要两只手才打得开？ - 是啊 应该是要
Well, how's this?
Oh, look at you two holding hands.
Is this getting serious?
Well, I, you know...
好 我 你知道的
Have you not talked about it yet?
Am I making you uncomfortable?
If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh?
It's obviously way too early for us to be having that conversation.
- Is it? - Maybe not. Is it?
- 会吗？ - 或许不会 会吗？
Okay, when I got divorced...
I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time.
Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you.
而且 我也不认为会 遇到像你这样的人…
And this may be crazy-soon, but I want you to have this.
- No, not... That's gum. - Oh.
- 不 不是…那是口香糖 - 喔
Oh, five bucks. I love it when that happens, you know?
喔 五块钱 我超喜欢这种事发生的 你知道吗？
- You don't know it's there... - I know. Keep digging.
- 你不知道那里有… - 我知道 继续挖
To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars.
- It's to my apartment. - Oh, wow.
- 我公寓的钥匙 - 哇
Ooh. Big step for Phoebe and Mike.
Look, I don't want you to feel like you have to give me your key...
- No, I want to. - Oh, thank God.
- 不 我要 - 感谢上帝
Wow. I was starting to think I'd never meet someone that...
哇 我本来还在想 我应该不会遇到一个人…
you know, I wanted to do this with.
- This is cool, huh? - It really is.
- 这太酷了 - 真的是很酷
Oh, I know it. It is amazing. These little things open doors.
我知道 太惊人了 这些小东西可以把门打开
So I don't go back to work for another four weeks...
but we would like our nanny to start right away...
so that Emma could get a chance to know her.
I think that's really smart.
The easier we can make the transition for her the better.
That's great. Great.
- So do you have any questions for us? - Not really.
- 那你有没有其他的问题想问我们呢？ - 没有
All right. Well, thank you so much for coming.
- Thank you. - It was really nice to meet you.
- 谢谢 - 很高兴认识你
- We will call you. - Oh, you know, wait.
- 我们会打电话给你 - 喔 等一下…
- I do have one question. - Yeah.
- 我是有一个问题 - 嗯
Do you guys do random drug testing?
Boy, we, uh, hadn't really thought of that.
That's cool. But if you do, I'm gonna need three days' notice.
没关系 但是如果你们要求做 我需要你们提前三天告诉我
Wow. We're never gonna find a nanny.
Come on, Rach. We will. I promise. We have more interviews.
别这样 瑞秋 我保证我们会找到的 我们还有其他的面试
And worse comes to worst, we can always reconsider the, uh, first one we met with.
What, the blond with no bra?
She was blond?
- Okay, this one's name is Sandy. - Okay.
- 好的 这个叫做珊帝 - 好的
She's got a degree in Early Childhood Education.
Uh, she worked for her last family for three years.
And she's a little mannish.
- Ah! Oh, my God. David. - Hi.
- 喔 我的天 - 大卫
- Uh, is this a bad time? - No, it's a great time. Come in.
- 现在会打扰你吗？ - 不 现在很好 进来吧
Oh, my gosh. What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk?
喔 天啊 你在这里做什么呢？你从明斯克回来吗？
Well, just for a couple of days.
I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant...
why it's a positive thing that we've spent all their money...
and, uh, accomplished, uh, nothing.
Who cares? It got you here.
Well, it got me to New York anyway. Then I got in a cab at the airport...
and the guy said, "Where to?"
I just gave him your address. I didn't even think about it.
Wow. Where's your luggage?
All right, I'll call the cab company.
We can call them later. Can you just stand there for a moment?
There's an old Russian expression, um, that goes:
Roughly translated, that means, um
"This thing that I'm looking at: Wow."
Uh, no, you should see me when... Actually, no, I look pretty good.
你应该看看当我… 事实上 不用 我看起来挺不错的
You know, when you don't see someone for a long time...
and you kind of build them up in your head, you start thinking:
"Come on, don't be crazy, nobody's that beautiful."
"少来了 别发神经了 没有人是那样美的"
But, well, you are.
但是 嗯 你真的就是那样的美
Well, so, um, are you seeing anyone?
I'm just the worst person ever.
How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike?
Maybe he didn't give you a chance.
He said, "Are you seeing someone?" And I said, "No."
- Oh, well, that would've been your window. - Yeah.
- 喔 那本来是你可以澄清的机会的 - 是的
I mean, I don't know. I was looking in his eyes...
and I was just thinking, "Oh, my God, it's David. David's here."
然后只能想 我的天 是大卫 大卫在这
He's just so irresistible.
- Really? The scientist guy? - Really? Chandler?
- 真的吗？那个科学家？ - 真的吗？钱德？
Okay, then it gets worse...
because I told him I would see him tomorrow night.
- Phoebe. - I know. Evil.
- 菲比 - 我知道 邪恶的女人
I like Mike so much, you know? It's just going really well. Oh, my God.
我真的好喜欢麦克 你知道吗？发展得真的很顺利 我的天
Wow, isn't it ironic that David would show up...
on the same day that you and Mike exchange keys?
Yeah. You know, and given my lifelong search for irony...
是啊 而且你知道我一辈子都在 找寻讽刺的事…
you can imagine how happy I am.
- What are you gonna do? - I mean, I guess I just have to...
- 你要怎么办呢？ - 我想我只能…
tell David that nothing can happen between us.
You know, complicated moral situation?
- No right, no wrong? - You have to tell David.
- 是没有错或对 - 你必须要告诉大卫
I knew I should've had this conversation with Joey.
Funniest guy she's ever met.
I'm funny, right?
What do you know? You're a door.
You just like knock-knock jokes.
Save it for inside.
So Oklahoma's a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner State.
Frankly, I'd sooner be in any other state.
事实上 我还真希望 可以早点离开到其他的州
And what's with Oklahoma having a panhandle?
Can all states have stuff like that?
Hey, yeah, I'm from the, uh, waistband of Wyoming.
But when I was 7, we headed over to the crotch.
Was your cabin pressurized?
And don't get me started on the way the people from Tulsa talk.
What's with the word "y'all"?
You know, just two words just pushed together?
Are we all allowed to do that? Because if so, I say why stop there?
You know, your new poodle could be your noodle.
你的 新狮子狗 可以变成你的新狮
And fried chicken could be fricken.
油炸鸡块 可以变成 炸块
Waiter? Waiter, excuse me, I'll have the fricken.
服务生？服务生 不好意思 我想要点 炸块
See, that's funny with the fricken, right?
瞧 炸块 很好笑吧？
No, it just reminds me of something this guy did today at work.
不 只是让我想起今天工作时 有个人讲的笑话…
I told you about that funny guy, Jeffrey, right?
Well, he did this bit. You probably had to be there...
嗯 他做了一件事 你应该要在现场才感受得到…
but it was Liza Minnelli locked in our freezer eating a raw chicken.
- Were you there? - No, but it sounds fricken funny.
- 你在现场吗？ - 没有 但是听起来真是 炸块 好笑
I really understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person.
I mean, it's like leaving behind a piece of your heart.
Sandy, that's exactly what it is.
- Are you gay? - Ross.
- 你是同性恋吗？ - 罗斯
It's okay. I get that a lot doing what I do.
- But I am straight. I'm engaged, actually. - Oh.
- 但我不是同性恋 事实上我已经订婚 - 噢
- Her name's Delia. - That's pretty.
- 她的名字叫做狄莉亚 - 真是好名字
So you're just, like, a guy who's a nanny.
I realize how it's a bit unorthodox for some people.
But I really believe the most satisfying thing you can do with your life...
is take care of a child.
Like at my last job.
I met Daniel when he was 3 weeks old.
And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person.
When I left, I said, "I'll see you soon."
当我离开的时候 我说 希望很快再见到你
And he said to me, "Skadandy?"
- That was his name for me. - Oh, ha, ha.
- 那是他给我的名字 - 哦 哈哈
"I'll see you every day right in..."
- It's okay. - Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap.
- 没关系 - 是啊 小孩子尽会说些鬼话
Oh, God, she must need her diaper changed.
喔 天啊 她一定是需要换尿布了
- I can take care of that, if you want. - Oh, that would be great.
- 我可以帮你处理 如果你要的话 - 太棒了
I love him, I love him, I love him.
我爱他 我爱他 我爱他
Oh, come on. Rach, he's a guy.
别这样 瑞秋 他是个男人
So what? He's smart. He's qualified.
Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out.
Because it's weird.
What kind of a job is that for a man? A nanny?
I mean, it's like if a woman wanted to be...
I, uh, hope you don't mind. I used some of my homemade lotion on Emma.
我希望你不介意 我在艾玛身上 用了我自制的乳液
It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up.
Plus, it keeps the hands young.
Yes. Sandy, you're hired.
是的 珊帝 你录取了
It's just such an emotional thing when you're welcomed into a new family.
Oh, God. Come here.
喔 天啊 过来这里
You gotta be at least bi.
I need you to set me up for a joke.
When Monica's around, ask me about fire trucks.
Ooh, I don't know, Chandler. I'm not so good with remembering lines.
我不知道 钱德 我不是很会记台词的
Well, thank God your livelihood doesn't depend on it.
Why are we doing this?
Monica says that her maitred' is the funniest guy she's ever met.
Seriously? She actually said that?
Yes. Am I crazy to be this upset?
- No. Being funny's your thing. - Yeah.
- 不 风趣是你的专利 - 是啊
- Without that, you just got "lame with women." - Yeah...
- 没有了它 你还有什么吸引女人的 - 对…
Hi. There you are.
Wow. You look even more beautiful than you did yesterday.
- Ooh. - In fact, I'm going to kiss you now.
- 噢 - 事实上 我现在要亲你
- Oh, wait, wait. - Yeah, I can't get away with stuff like that.
- 等等… - 我就是没有办法…
It sounded sexy in my head, so I...
No, no, it's not that.
不 不 不是那件事
Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no?
- Well, um, I am. His name's Mike. - Oh. Oh.
- 事实上我有 他叫做麦克 喔… - 喔…
- I should've told you. - No.
- 我应该早点告诉你的 - 不用…
- Well, yeah. - Yeah.
- 嗯 你应该要的 - 耶
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Well, it's okay. I understand.
- 我很抱歉 我很抱歉 - 没关系 我可以理解
Well, are you happy with this guy?
- I am happy. - Damn it.
- 我是很快乐 - 该死
I'm sorry. I don't mean that. I want you to be happy.
我很抱歉 我不是那个意思 我要你过得快乐
But only with me. No, that's not fair. Who cares. Leave him.
但是只能跟我 不 那并不公平 管他的 抛弃他吧
I don't mean that. Yes, I do. I'm sorry. Um...
我不是那个意思 是的 我是 我很抱歉
- I think I should probably, uh, go. - Well...
- 我想我应该离开了 - 好吧...
But, David, I just want you to know that, you know...
但是 大卫 我只想要你知道…
telling you this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
Well, just so you know...
hearing it wasn't exactly a Vladnik carnival, either.
- Can we at least hug goodbye? - Of course. Yeah.
- 我们至少可以拥抱道别吧？ - 当然 可以
You know, and a kiss on the cheek wouldn't be totally inappropriate.
你知道的 在脸颊上亲一下 应该不会是太不适当
- No. No. - I mean...
- 不 不 - 我是说…
- In Minsk? - Yeah?
- 在明斯克… - 怎样呢？
- It's, um, two on each cheek... - Mm-hm.
- 是在两边各亲两下… - 嗯
and, uh, one on the lips.
Well, if that's what they do in Minsk...
嗯 好吧 如果那是明斯克的习俗
In New York, it's...
Is everything all right?
Oh, yeah. No, it's fine. It's fine.
喔 是的 很好 很好
Sandy was just telling me about how he proposed to his fiancée...
and it was so beautiful.
Well, her favorite flower is the camellia. From the poem...
I can't hear it again.
You know, I can't tell it again.
And I'm fine never having heard it.
- Rach, can I see you for a sec? - Yeah. Excuse me.
- 瑞秋 我可以跟你说一下话吗？ - 好啊 失陪了
Do you realize that man has cried in our apartment three times? Huh?
I haven't cried that many times since I moved in.
Look, Ross, Sandy's just sensitive. That's all.
听着 罗斯 珊帝只不过是很敏感 不过是如此
Okay, okay. See, that is the problem. He is too sensitive.
好了 看吧 那就是个问题 他太敏感了
Too sensitive to take care of our baby?
No, I mean, all I'm saying is that guy... These are amazing.
不 我是说 那个男的… 这真是太好吃了
Sandy made madeleines.
This is exactly what I'm talking about.
What kind of a guy makes delicate French cookies? Huh?
They're not even butch, manly cookies with...
看起来根本不像是男性化 雄纠纠的饼干 有那种…
You know, with chunks.
Well, you know, I don't know what to say.
嗯 你知道的 我不知道要说什么
I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men.
我是说 我从没想过你是那种 需要 男人 是真正男人的男人
I gotta tell you, Ross, it's not like you just came in from branding cattle.
我必须告诉你 罗斯 你也不像是会烙印牛只的西部牛仔
Hey, there's sensitive and there's too sensitive.
Okay, what is too sensitive?
No, I can't. I can't do this. It's bad.
不 我不能 我不能这样做 这样不好
- But it's nice. And nice is good. - Mm-hm.
- 但是感觉很棒 而很棒就是好 - 嗯
And good is not bad. Ergo, we should keep kissing.
而好就不是坏事 因此 我们应该继续亲吻
- No, no. No. - But...
- 不 - 但是 不 不
Look, David, if you had never left, then...
听着 大卫 如果你没有离开过…
yeah, we'd probably still be together right now.
But you did leave. And I'm with Mike, and I really care about him.
但是你离开了 而我现在跟麦克交往 而且我很在乎他
Well, um, goodbye. Uh...
Well, the key works.
And, you, thanks for the face massage. Thank you.
还有你 谢谢你的脸部按摩 谢谢你
- Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny? - Yeah
- 瑞秋告诉你我们雇了一个男保姆吗？ - 有啊
- Yeah. I think that's great. - Oh, really?
Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes madeleines?
她有说他会吹直笛 吟诗作对 还会做马德琳饼干吗？
- Oh. How are they? - Lighter than air, but that's not the point.
- 好吃吗？ - 好吃极了 但那不是重点
Rachel and I hired a male nanny.
Guys do that?
- That's weird. - Thank you.
- 真是奇怪 - 谢谢你
- That's like a woman wanting to be a... - What?
- 那就像是女人想要成为… - 什么？
- What's the end of that sentence? - Yes. What is the end of that sentence?
- 成为什么？ - 是啊 成为什么？
Anyway, hey, did you tell Chandler that some guy from work...
is the funniest guy you ever met?
- Yeah. So? - Wow.
- 有啊 怎样呢？ - 哇
Really? Do you not know Chandler?
Is that why he's acting so weird? He's jealous?
Oh, my God, that is crazy.
喔 我的天 这真是太疯狂了
- It's not like I'm attracted to Jeffrey. JOEY: So what?
- 又不是说我喜欢上杰佛瑞 - 那又怎样？
Being funny is Chandler's thing. You know, like Ross' thing is...
- Academia? Being a good father? - No.
- 学术？好父亲？ - 不是
I can't believe he's that upset about this.
You have to do some damage control.
摩妮卡 你要做一些危机处理 好吗？
Because he's feeling like...
- Hey. - Hey. Hey.
- 嘿 - 嘿
- What are you guys talking about? - Uh, ahem.
- 你们在说些什么？ - 额
Rachel and I, uh, hired a male nanny.
You got a man who's a nanny?
You got a "manny"?
You know, I don't mind a male nanny...
but I do draw the line at male wet nurse.
Oh! Oh! You are on a roll, mister.
If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would've brought more pizza.
Okay. Okay. Stop it, you. You stop it.
好了 好啦 停止 你 你停止了
What is so funny about that?
I don't know, it's... Well, just the way you say it.
我不知道 就是… 你说的方式很好笑
I mean, you're funny. You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy.
我是说 你很风趣 你有风趣的特质 就是很风趣的人
Did you tell her what we talked about?
So those were pity laughs? Pity laughs?
You have nothing to worry about with Jeffrey.
Oh, yeah? Is he funnier than me?
Well, you're different funny.
I mean, you're more sarcastic.
And, well, he does bits and impressions and limericks.
Uh, there once was a man named Chandler whose wife made him die inside.
Honey, you know I think you're hilarious.
You know that joke you told me last week?
The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye?
Hey. I made up that joke and told it to you.
- Not knowing when to shut up. - Yep, that's my thing.
- 不知道什么时候该闭嘴 - 是的 那就是我的专长
So how many guys have your key?
No, no, no. It's not as bad as it looks.
I was saying goodbye to an old friend.
Your lipstick's on his mouth.
Oh, uh, we just, uh, happen to wear the same shade.
No, um, David and I did used to go out.
But years ago. And he lives in Minsk. He's only in town for a couple days.
但是是几年前了 而且他住在明斯克 他只是回来几天而已
- Did you, uh...? - No. No.
- 你有没有…？ - 不 不
- Kiss him? - Oh, well, yeah.
- 亲他？ - 喔 嗯 有
Yes, but you should know, she really likes you.
是的 但是… 听着 她真的很喜欢你
In fact, I don't think you realize just how lucky you are, fella.
- Don't point your finger at me. - Why?
- 别用手指指着我 - 为什么？
What are you gonna do about it?
Well, I'll show you what I'm gonna do about it.
- Oh, really? Really? - You want some of that? Huh? Huh?
- 喔 真的吗？真的吗？ - 你想试试看吗？
Stop it. Stop it. Before someone gets really hurt.
停止 停止 在有人受伤前快停止
Here, David, you should just go.
拿去 大卫 你应该离开了
But if I ever do come back from Minsk, well, you just better watch out.
If I go to Minsk, you better watch out.
Oh, you're going to Minsk?
- Well, I might. - Really?
- 喔 或许会 - 真的吗？
Well, if you do, come in the spring. It's just lovely there.
如果你要去 最好在春天 春天是很宜人的
- Okay, well, guys? - Well...
- 够了 两位 - 好吧
- Goodbye, Phoebe. - Bye.
- 再见 菲比 - 再见
- Hey, what, are you kidding me? - Right-o. Right-o.
- 嘿 你在开玩笑吗？ - 没事 没事
Take good care of her.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
If you want your key back, I totally understand.
- It's never gonna happen again, right? - Right. Never. I swear.
- 这不会再发生了 对不对？ - 没错 我发誓绝不
I... Oh, I just want to say, if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number.
我只想说 如果你来明斯克 这是我的号码
We'll, uh, party up Vladnik-style.
Hey, Ross. Check it out. Sandy taught me "Hot Cross Buns."
嘿 罗斯 快过来 看珊帝教我吹《甜蜜家庭》
Really? Sounded like "Three Blind Mice."
- No, "Three Blind Mice" goes like this. - I swear to God.
- 不 《三只瞎眼鼠》是这样 - 看在老天份上
- Who's up for puppets? - Me. I'm up for puppets.
- 谁想要看布偶秀呢？ - 我 我要看布偶秀
Well, please welcome:
Who wants to be Mr. Wigglemunch and who's gonna be the Grumpus?
Okay, okay, how exactly is a 2-month-old supposed to appreciate puppets?
好… 一个两个月大的婴儿 怎么看得懂布偶呢？
Studies show that the movement and colors help their cerebral development.
The whimsical characters are just for us.
I want to be Mr. Wigglemunch.
Well, I guess we know who's gonna be the Grumpus.
- That was kind of rude. - Oh, I'm sorry.
- 你实在是很没礼貌 - 喔 我很抱歉
Please apologize to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me.
- You know, he was just doing his job. - You know what?
- 你知道的 他只是在做份内的事 - 你知道吗？
I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there.
But I just... I can't go through with this.
- Come on. - No. You know what?
- 别这样 - 不 你知道吗？
I would never force you to hire someone you were this uncomfortable with.
You want to fire him, so you're gonna have to go do it.
So you see, Wigglemunch, that's why it's important to share.
所以 摇摆先生 这就是分享的重要
I am learning so much from you.
Well, I'm off to Tulsa.
So if your maitred' friend has any funny Oklahoma jokes...
tell him to e-mail me at www-dot-ha-ha-not-so-much-dot-com.
Honey, you can relax.
Last night at work Jeffrey told this really sexist joke.
- After that, not so funny anymore. - Really?
- 从此之后 再也没有那么好笑了 - 真的？
See, that's the thing. You gotta keep it smart, people.
瞧 都是这样的 要学聪明一点的
Okay. Don't miss that flight. You know I love you.
- And I like you as a friend. - Right.
- 而我像朋友一样喜欢你 - 没错
- See you later. - See you.
- 再见 - 再见
Did the guy really make that joke?
No, he still kills me.
Last night he had me laughing so hard, I swear, a little pee came out.
I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo.
- Hi. - We, uh...
- 嗨 - 我们…
We kind of need to talk.
I'm afraid it's not working out.
- Oh. - Yeah, um...
- 喔 - 对…
I mean, Rachel and I think you are great with Emma. Um...
- We just feel... - You. You feel.
- 我们只是觉得… - 你 是你觉得
that the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry.
We're more than happy to give you a good recommendation.
No, that's okay. I had a lot of offers from other families.
不 没关系 我还有很多其他的家庭 要我过去帮忙
I just picked you guys because...
- I liked you the best. - Oh, damn you, Geller.
- 我最喜欢你们 - 喔 该死的 盖勒
Anyway, uh, well, I'm glad there's no hard feelings.
No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home.
一点也没有 你们需要跟一个 能相处融洽的人才行
Although, if you don't mind telling me...
what was the problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.
No, you know, it's, uh, nothing you did. It's... It's, uh, my issue.
不 不关你的事 是我的问题
You know, I'm just not, um, that comfortable...
with a guy who's as sensitive as you.
Although, can I ask, why do you think that is?
Why? I don't know.
Maybe because of my father?
I mean, uh, you know, when I was growing up, he was a tough guy.
You know, and as a kid, I wasn't the athlete I am now.
小时候 我不像现在一样 这么有运动细胞
Anyway, I, uh... I always got the feeling he thought I was too sensitive.
That must have been hard.
I remember I was in my bedroom, playing with my dinosaurs...
Playing and learning.
And my father walks in and says, "What are you doing with those things?
What's wrong with you?
Why aren't you outside playing like a real boy?"
- But you are a real boy. - I know I am.
- 但是你是真正的男生啊 - 我知道我是的
And when it's summer and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
It's all right. Crying is good. It lets the boo-hoos out.
没关系 哭泣是好事 大声哭出来吧
Here comes some more.
And what's the one kind of boat that can never ever sink?
- What kind? - A friendship.
- 哪一种？ - 友船
Wow. You blow my mind.
- Oh, I gotta go. - Aw.
- 喔 我得走了 - 啊
- How much do I owe you? - Twenty bucks.
- 我该给你多少呢？ - 二十块
It's like the cheapest college ever.