- So you and Rach tonight, huh? - Yeah.
- 所以你跟瑞秋今晚有约？ - 是的
Yeah, it's actually our first official date.
Wow, so tonight may be the night. You nervous?
Nah. No. This is the part I'm actually good at, ha, ha.
What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing?
How can you be so confident?
Well, I know exactly what I'm gonna do.
- Really? Like, you have a routine? - No. See, each woman is different.
- 真的吗？你有惯用的招式吗？ - 不 其实每个女人都不同
You have to appreciate their uniqueness.
- Really? - No, I do six things.
- 真的吗？ - 才怪 我有六个招式
First, I look deep into her eyes, then I kiss her.
首先 我深情的看着她 然后亲吻她
Next, I take my hand and I softly graze her thigh.
接着 我拿起我的手 轻轻地抚摸她的大腿
You mean like this?
No, not like that. No, no. No, like this:
不是 不是这样子 是像这样子
I see what you mean. That's quite nice.
Ahem. More foosball?
- And beer. - Yeah.
- 还要啤酒 - 是
Hey, stop staring at my wife's legs.
No, no. Stop staring at your sister's legs.
I'm sorry, it's just... How'd you get so tan?
对不起 只是… 你怎么有办法晒这么漂亮？
She went to one of those spray-on tan places.
You got a spray-on tan?
Chandler gets pedicures.
What? You do? Like, with the toe separators?
I can't believe that's sprayed on.
I mean, it looks really good. I wonder if I should get one.
Sure, then you should get a miniskirt so you can really show it off.
好啊 然后再去穿迷你裙 就可以上街炫耀了
So do you get colors or just French tips?
- Here. Here's their card. - Thanks.
- 这是那边的名片 - 谢谢
Hey, I know where this place is.
It used to be an X-rated video...
- Hey, Pheebs. - Hey, Phoebe.
- 你好 - 你好 菲比
Ugh, you won't believe who moved back to town.
- I know. Amanda. - Ugh.
- 我知道 阿曼达 - 额
- She called me too. She's the worst. - Who's Amanda?
- 她也打电话给我了 她真是烂人 - 谁是阿曼达？
She's this girl who lived in the building before you did.
Then she moved to England and picked up this fake British accent.
On the machine, this is her message:
"Um, Monica, darling, it's Amanda calling."
"摩妮卡 亲爱的 我是阿曼达"
Are you trying to do a British accent?
Chandler gets pedicures.
Just so I know, how many more of those can I expect?
Know what Amanda said when she called me?
"Oh, so sorry to catch you on your mobile."
If you didn't wanna get me on my mobile, then don't call me on my mobile.
And she always brags about all the famous people she's met.
"Uh, I slept with Billy Joel."
All right, who hasn't?
Oh, what are we gonna do? I don't wanna see her.
Oh, let's just cut her out.
- What? - Cut her out of our lives.
- 什么？ - 将她挤出我们生命中
Just ignore her calls and dodge her till she gets the point.
Well, I guess we could try that. But it seems so harsh.
好吧 我想是可以试试看 但是这样好残忍
- Have you ever done that? - No. Had it done to me, though.
- 你有试过这样做吗？ - 没有 倒有人对我这样做过
All right, Mr. Geller, right this way.
好了 盖勒先生 往这里走
So how dark do you wanna be? We have one, two or three.
你想要晒多黑？我们有一度 两度 三度黑
Well, uh, I like how you look. What are you?
- Puerto Rican. - Two. I think a two.
- 我是波多黎各人 - 二度好了
You'll face the red light.
When the light's on, the spraying's about to start, so close your eyes.
当红灯亮起时 药将会喷出 所以你要闭起眼睛
When the spraying stops, count to five...
...pat yourself to avoid drip marks, then turn to get your back. Got it?
轻轻拍身体 避免有不均匀痕迹 然后转身换背后 懂了吗？
Spray, count, pat and turn. Spray, count and pat.
喷 数 拍 然后转身 喷 数 拍
- Wow, you catch on quick. - Well, I have a Ph.D., so...
- 你很快就学会了呢 - 因为我有博士学位 所以…
One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three...
一个密西西比 两个密西西比 三个…
Wait, wait! I'm not... I'm not finished counting.
You sprayed my front twice.
- You never turned? - No. I barely got to "three Mississippi."
- 你没有转身吗？ - 我还没数到"三个密西西比"
Mississippi? I said count to five.
Well, how bad is it?
Not that bad yet. But it gets darker for the next four hours.
So how dark will it get?
Oh, you got sprayed with two twos and...
Yeah, but your back's a zero. You'll wanna even that out.
没错 但是背部是零度 所以你得平均一下
- You might wanna get back in there. - Oh, okay.
- 你应该要回去里面 - 好吧
Wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall.
How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello?
The same thing happened again!
- You got two more twos? - I'm an eight.
- 你又喷了两次两度？ - 我现在是八度了
Thanks for dinner.
I thought you paid.
Heh. Guess we won't be going back there, ha, ha.
- So... - Yeah.
- 所以… - 好的
Hey, what do you say we, uh, move this onto the likes of the couch?
I say cheesy line, but okay.
- What's the matter? - I don't know. I'm sorry.
- 你怎么了？ - 我不知道 对不起
- I don't know why I did that. - Okay.
- 我不知道为什么我会这么做 - 好吧
I'm sorry. Again, I don't know what happened. I must be nervous.
对不起 我还是不知道为什么 应该是太紧张吧
I don't get it. Chandler loved it.
I promise. I won't do it again. I really do. This is gonna be great.
我保证不会再发生 真的 一定会很棒的
Uh, was that good for you?
No, don't get it. Let the machine pick up.
不 不要接 让答录机去回应吧
Oh, yeah, it could be Rachel asking if someone could babysit again.
好吧 说不定是瑞秋打来 问有没有人可以带小孩
- It could be Amanda. - Oh, you're right. Oh.
- 说不定是阿曼达 - 对 有道理
I was just kidding about Rachel. Babysitting's a gas.
关于瑞秋 我只是开玩笑的 带小孩超级好玩的
Hello, Monica. It's Amanda calling again.
摩妮卡你好 是我阿曼达 又打来了
I'm in the neighborhood, hoping I could pop by your flat.
You're from Yonkers. Your last name is Buffamonteezi.
Let's see. So should you get this directly...
...ring me back on my mobile.
Okay, don't hold thy breath.
Hello? Is someone on the line?
Yes. I was looking for Monica.
Hang on, she's right here.
- Someone's on the phone for you. - We weren't picking up. It's Amanda.
- 有人打电话找你 - 我们不打算接起来 是阿曼达
Uh, actually, now is not a good time.
- Dinner tomorrow night? - No.
- 明天晚上吃饭吗？ - 不
Okay, Phoebe and I will see you then.
Why? Why? Why didn't you just say no?
Well, I said no to her coming over now. I couldn't say no twice.
I got this uncontrollable need to please people.
Fine. Fine. You would not hold up well under torture.
- Oh, and you would? - I did.
- 你就可以吗？ - 我已经忍过了
- Rach, are you sure you wanna do this? - Absolutely.
- 瑞秋 你确定要继续吗？ - 当然
It's just a little weird. It's you, and it's me.
虽然有一点奇怪 但是有你 还有我
- It'll just take some getting used to. - Okay.
- 只要习惯一下就好 - 好的
Okay, well, uh, how can we make it easier?
Okay. Let's work from the top down.
- Just work the bra, Joe. - Okay, got it, yeah. Absolutely.
- 把我的胸罩解开 乔伊 - 好… 我知道了
- Okay, ha, ha. - Okay.
- 好的 - 好
- Is this thing welded shut? Ha, ha. - Okay.
- 这个东西是锁起来了吗？ - 别闹了
All right, turn around.
- I gotta get a look at this thing. - Oh.
- 我要看看这是什么 - 哦
Well, this is romantic.
I'm sorry. This has never happened to me before.
I'm an expert at taking off bras. I could do it with one hand.
I could do it with my eyes closed. Once I just looked at one...
...and it popped open.
- I blame your bra. - It's a standard-issue bra clasp.
- 都怪你的胸罩 - 这是普通的胸罩夹呢
Then I blame you. Yeah. That's right. You threw me off with all your slapping.
那就是你的错了 对 你的巴掌让我冷成
Okay, look, I'm really sorry about that, Joey.
But do you think maybe, on some level, you don't want to take off my bra?
No, I don't have another level.
Hold on. There's something different.
I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Was that place the sun?
Oh, and it gets worse.
Oh, my God, you can do a duet of "Ebony and lvory" all by yourself.
我的天啊 你可以自己一个人 合唱一首《乌木与象牙》
How could you mess this up? It's so easy.
You go in the booth, count to five and turn around.
- How do you count to five? - One, two, three...
- 你怎么数的？ - 一 二 三…
- I know! - Ha-ha-ha.
- 我知道 - 哈哈哈
Oh, what is up with Miss Hawaiian Tropic?
How was your date with Joey?
Well, it was good, until we got back to our apartment.
And then we were fooling around and he started to put his hand up my leg...
...and I kept slapping it away.
You didn't like that?
Well, it wasn't just me, all right? He freaked out too.
He couldn't even undo my bra.
Wow, really? One time he just looked at my bra and it popped open.
真的吗？有一次他只看了 我的胸罩一眼 然后就爆开了
I do not know what's wrong with us.
We've kissed before and that's been great.
But this time it was leading somewhere...
...and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
You guys have been friends forever.
The first time you kissed Ross was weird.
- Mm-hm. - You couldn't stop laughing.
- 嗯 - 你笑得停不下来
- You got through that. - Mm-hm.
- 但是后来还是解决了 - 嗯
Okay. That's true. That's true, we can do this.
对 你说的对 真的 我们可以解决的
You're right. We can do this. We'll just power through.
没错 我们可以解决的 我们只需要突破
Hey, uh, Chandler, can I talk to you for a second?
No need, problem solved. We are powering through.
不必 问题解决了 我们要突破
Chandler, stop. It's not going to pop open.
钱德 别闹了 它不会自己爆开
- Hi, Phoebe. - Hey.
- 菲比 你好 - 你好
- Is Amanda here yet? - No.
- 阿曼达来了没？ - 还没
I'm sorry for screwing up that "cutting her out" plan, but I have a new plan.
Chandler will call in a few minutes with an emergency.
Oh, okay, what kind of emergency gets us both out of here?
What do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident?
- Are you kidding? I love it. - Okay.
- 真的吗？我爱死了这计划 - 好的
- Hi. Ha, ha. - Hi.
- 你好 - 你好
- It's so nice to see you. - Ha, ha.
- 看到你感觉真棒 - 哈哈
Both of you, look at me. Look how young I look.
你们两个 看看我 看看我样子多年轻
Oh, gosh, we have so much to catch up on.
But first things first. Touch my abs. I don't exercise at all.
Oh, gosh. So, Monica, you're married.
天啊 摩妮卡 你结婚了
- Yeah, his name is Chandler and he's... - Oh, smell my neck.
- 对啊 他的名字是钱德 他是… - 闻闻我的脖子
It's not perfume. It's me. It's my natural scent.
这不是香水呢 是体味 是我身体天然的香味
- Musty. - Oh.
- 还有霉味呢 - 哦
Gosh, this is brilliant. Gosh, it's just like old times.
天啊 真是太好了 老天 就像以前一样
I'm so happy you two are friends again.
- When were we not friends? - Well, it was 1992.
- 我们哪时不是朋友了？ - 当时是1992年
And I remember, because that was the year I had sex with Evel Knievel. Ha, ha.
Uh, we were friends in 1992.
No, I distinctly remember you were dodging her calls...
不 我记的很清楚 你正在躲她的电话
...and trying to avoid seeing her.
- You were going to cut me out? - Well, kind of.
- 你当时正在排挤我吗？ - 有一点点啦
- Oh, my God. - Oh, bugger.
- 我的老天啊 - 糟了
Should I not have said that? Unh! I feel like a perfect arse.
Well, in America, you're just an ass.
Chandler, what's wrong?
Oh, my God, are you all right? Yeah, I'll be right there.
我的天啊 你还好吗？好 我马上到
Oh, I'm so sorry, but Chandler was in a car accident.
- Oh, my God. - Yeah.
- 我的老天啊 - 是啊
- Was Mike with him? - Nope.
- 麦克跟他在一起吗？ - 没有
- Got the champagne? - Yes. Ready to power through.
- 有准备香槟吗？ - 有 准备好要来突破了
Excellent. Put it on ice, the phone is off the hook...
太好了 放进冰块里 电话线也被拉掉了
...and, in the interest of powering through...
- All right, let's do it. - Okay, you're scaring me a little bit.
- 好的 开始吧 - 你把我吓到了
- Oh, get over it, soldier, we gotta do this. - Okay.
- 回神来 小兵 我们得进行了 - 好的
- Okay. Ha, ha, you like that, huh? - Oh, yeah.
- 好 你喜欢吗？ - 太棒了
You like that? Let's kick this into high gear, huh?
Yeah, baby. I'll show you how we do it.
太好了 宝贝 让你看看该怎么做
You kneed me in my misters.
What? Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
Joey? Are you okay?
We are not friends with Phoebe anymore.
If she asks, I protested a little, but okay.
如果她问起 就说我抗拒过了一下 不过好吧
Oh, Chandler, thank God you're alive. Monica, can I talk to you outside?
钱德 感谢老天 你还活着 摩妮卡 我可以跟你聊聊吗？
- I have nothing to say to you. - Wow. My flat is twice this size.
- 我没什么话好跟你说 - 我的公寓是这里的两倍大
Please, Monica, in the hall?
拜托你 摩妮卡 到走廊来
Ooh, that accident must have been terrible.
You look positively ghastly.
Well, aren't you a treat.
I can't believe you tried to cut me out. Why, Phoebe? Why?
我不敢相信你居然排挤我 为什么？菲比 为什么？
It was right after we were living together...
...and you were driving me crazy, okay?
You were really controlling and compulsive and shrill.
你控制欲太强 又爱强迫人 讲话又大声
Well, I'm still all those things.
You're also so generous and kind and scrappy.
Exactly. No matter what I tried to do, I couldn't keep you out of my life.
没错 不管我怎么做 我的人生就是不能没有你
Of all the people I've cut out...
...you were the only one who ever clawed her way back in.
That's because I'm scrappy.
Yeah, you are, and I'm so glad that you fought your way back in...
是的 而且我很高兴你这样子 一路战斗着回来
...because I don't know what I would do without you.
I don't know what I would do without you.
Well, I guess we should go back in. I mean, you gave me another chance.
我想我们该进去了 我是说 你给了我另一个机会
- We should do the same for Amanda. - Yeah, I guess you're right.
- 我们应该也这样对待阿曼达 - 我想你说的对
Can you believe it? I've never had any professional dance training.
Let me explain how this works. Go in the booth and...
让我解释使用方法 你进去小房间里 然后…
I'm gonna stop you right there, Glenda. Okay? Ha, ha.
Does it look like this is my first time, huh?
Now, I want four two's, and I want them all on my back.
Wait. There's two sets of nozzles. Which one is it? Which one is it?
等一下 两边都有喷嘴 哪边才是对的…？
Oh, son of a bitch!
What is the matter with us?
Well, I know what's the matter with me.
No, I mean with us, you know? I mean, is it supposed to be this...
That fake British woman's a real bitch, but she sure can dance.
Hey, listen, can I ask you a question? When you and Monica first hooked up...
听着 我想问你一个问题 你一开始跟摩妮卡交往时
...was it weird going from friends to more than that?
Kind of. Sneaking around, having to hide from you guys...
有一点点 要偷偷摸摸的 还得躲你们
No, no, no. No, I mean...
Yeah, uh, was there a part of you that felt like it was...
Actually, no. No, it felt right, you know?
"I can't believe we haven't been doing this the whole time."
I can tell from your expressions that's the good news you were hoping for.
Well, I'm gonna go continue to spread the joy.
Just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to for us.
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, just because something's difficult doesn't mean that you quit.
- Right, totally. - Yeah. And so...
- 就是说啊 - 没错
...we'll just keep trying and trying until we do it.
If not, we'll just be a couple that never has sex.
如果不行的话 我们就变成 没有性生活的情侣好了
- I did not see this coming. - I know.
- 我不知道结果会这样 - 我也是
I don't know, I don't get it. I mean, I was so sure this is what I wanted.
我不知道 我不懂 我很确定这就是我要的
Well, how come Monica and Chandler could do it?
I guess they weren't as good friends as we are.
- I bet you're right. - Hmm.
- 我想你说对了 - 嗯
- All right, I'm going to bed. - Yeah, me too.
- 好了 我要去睡了 - 我也是
Yeah. I'm not going anywhere for a while.
- It's Chandler. Let me in. - Go away.
- 老兄 我是钱德 让我进去 - 走开
I don't wanna see anybody.
I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me.
我知道 我也去了那间店 同样的事情也发生在我身上
Did you count Mississippi-ly?
No. I just had to get a picture of this. I'll see you later.
没有 我只是来拍个照 再见