- Hey, guys. - Hey.
- 嗨 各位 - 嗨
Honey, I got us that room at the Woodford Inn this weekend.
亲爱的 我这个周末 在坞福酒店订了房间
That place in Vermont? You can take a hint.
You can't go away this weekend. It's Emma's birthday.
- Yeah. - We're having a party.
- 对 - 我们要开生日派对
Can't you have the party when we get back?
- No. - No. It won't be her real birthday.
- 不行 - 那就不是她真正的生日了
Gee, if only she were 1 and had no idea what the hell a birthday was.
天啊 但愿一岁的小孩 知道生日是什么东西
Come on, you guys, this is really important to us.
Sorry, but Chandler and I could really use a weekend away...
抱歉 但是钱德和我 真的需要好好度个周末
...you know, to reconnect, emotionally. - There's this thing I really want us to do.
你知道的 重新培养感情等等 - 还有一些两人一起做的事
I read about it in Maxim.
Well, can't you just go to Vermont the next day?
Yeah, we want everyone to be there.
As much as I hate to delay your doing weird sex stuff to my little sister.
And, I mean, you know, you guys, this is a big deal.
而且 各位 这是很重要的
I mean, how can we have her first birthday party...
...without her aunt and her uncle?
All right, we'll stay. We can just drive up after the party.
好吧 我们留下来吧 等派对结束后再去吧
Fine. But if we end up not doing this Maxim thing because of this party...
好吧 但如果因为派对 我们没做《格官》上教的动作…
Believe me, that is not why we won't be doing that.
You know, Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday...
菲比 我小的时候 每当生日时
...my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house.
And then he would draw a treasure map to help me find them all.
Aw, I love family traditions like that.
When Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday...
...our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food.
- Hey, guys. - Hi.
- 嗨 各位 - 嗨
- I brought the camera for Emma's video. - Oh, good!
- 我带摄影机来拍要给艾玛的影片 - 太好了
We had this idea to make a birthday video for Emma...
...and we'll give it to her when she's 18. - Oh, cool.
等艾玛十八岁时送给她 - 太酷了
- Wow, it's like a time capsule. - Yeah.
- 这就像时光胶囊一样 - 没错
Oh, just think, she's gonna be watching that video on a TV...
想想看 她将在 现在还没发明的电视上…
...that hasn't even been invented yet...
...with friends who, right now, are just, like, babies.
And they'll be living in a floating city that the humans built...
...to escape the ant people.
- So is Emma awake yet? - No, it's still naptime.
- 艾玛醒来了吗？ - 还没 现在还是午睡时问
- But she'll be up soon. - Where's Joey?
- 但她应该很快会醒来 - 那么乔伊呢？
I said, it's still naptime.
- Hey, there's Uncle Joey. - Hey.
- 乔伊叔叔来了 - 嗨
Hey, say something to Emma on her 18th birthday.
- Eighteen, huh? - Joey, no!
- 十八岁？ - 乔伊 不要这样
What? What? It's for her hot friends.
When they see this, you'll be 52.
And starting to think about settling down.
Hey, Joey, will you please set this up for people to put Emma's presents on?
乔伊 你可以帮忙把这架起来 让大家放送艾玛的礼物吗？
- We were supposed to bring presents? - Yeah. I wrote Emma a song.
- 我们应该要送礼物吗？ - 对 我为艾玛写了首歌
Oh, yeah. How was I supposed to know?
- Joey, it's a birthday party. - Yeah, but for a 1 -year-old.
- 乔伊 这是个生日派对 - 我知道 但她只有一岁
What's the point? The other day she laughed for, like, an hour at a cup.
Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it, dressed as a farmer.
And he's standing next to this cow, and the cow says, "El-moo."
Man, that's a funny cup.
- Where's the birthday girl? - Oh, she's still napping.
- 生日女孩呢？ - 她还在睡午觉
She was probably up all night excited about the party she knows is happening.
I know you guys really want to get to Vermont, and this isn't a big deal to you.
But it really is to us, okay? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
You're right. We're sorry.
Let's wake up Emma and get the fun time started!
No, she didn't sleep well last night, so we can't wake her.
不行 她昨晚没睡好 所以我们不能吵醒她
Are you frigging kidding me, Green?
- I'm so glad you came. - I can't believe Emma's already 1.
- 真高兴你们能来 - 我不敢相信艾玛已经一岁了
I remember your first birthday.
Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you.
He pulled on his testicles so hard...
...we had to take him to the emergency room.
There's something you didn't know about your dad.
Hey, Mr. And Mrs. Geller. Let me help you with that.
盖勒先生 盖勒太太 我帮你们拿吧
- Thank you. - Oh, man, this is great, huh?
- 谢谢你 - 天啊 这真是太棒了 对吗？
The three of us together again. You know what would be fun?
If we gave this present to Emma from all of us.
Which one are you?
- I can't believe Emma's still asleep. - I know. What are we gonna do?
- 我不敢相信艾玛还在睡觉 - 对啊 我们该怎么办？
I've got a plan. I've got a plan.
I'm going to ram this platter really hard into your ribs.
You're gonna scream out, and that'll wake her up.
I'm not going to Vermont with this Monica.
Hey, Pheebs? You know what?
I was thinking since you wrote a song...
...maybe I could do something for Emma using my talents.
So you're gonna hit on her?
- No, no, no. My talents as an actor. - Oh.
- 当然不是 是我演戏的天分 - 噢
You know, I could, like, maybe...
I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books.
Or you could stick a fork in an apple.
- Hey, I think Emma might like it. - Oh, Emma might like what?
- 我觉得艾玛可能会喜欢 - 艾玛会喜欢什么？
- Uh, my present. - What did you get her?
- 我的礼物 - 你为她准备了什么？
- Actually, we prepared performances. - Separate performances.
- 我们准备要表演 - 个别表演
That sounds like fun.
You know what, actually?
People are getting a little antsy waiting for Emma to wake up from her nap.
So would you mind performing them once now?
- Sure, yeah! - Okay.
- 当然可以 - 好啊
Okay. All right. Everybody, let's get this party started, huh?
好了 各位 派对开始了
Joey and Phoebe are gonna perform a little something for us.
Aren't you gonna be embarrassed having nothing prepared?
I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting.
So, Joey, what are you gonna do for us?
I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma's books.
Oh, okay. Which one?
Uh, well, it's one of her favorites.
"Riding the Storm Out: Coping With Postpartum Depression."
"Love You Forever, by Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly Books. Printed...
《永远爱你》 作者罗伯马修 萤火虫出版社
Ahem. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him...
...back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.
And while she held him, she sang, 'I'll love you forever.
I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living...
...my baby you'll be."'
"And while he rocked her, he sang:
'I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always.
As long as I'm living...
...my baby you'll be."'
Thank you so much for that gift.
I was not ready for this today.
- Amazing. Amazing. - Phoebe, I'm sorry.
- 太感人了… - 菲比 抱歉
- Phoebe has prepared something. - That's right.
- 菲比也准备了表演 - 没错
I prepared a song for Emma, from my heart to hers.
For there's no greater gift than the gift of music.
Your name poses a dilemma
'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma
Maybe the actor, Richard Crenna
He played the commanding officer in Rambo.
Happy birthday, Emma
No, of course not.
No, I've also, you know, prepared a reading.
Um, "Sex and the Single Mother."
- "Finding your G-spot." - Oh, no, no, no!
- "发现你的高潮点" - 别念了…
Hello, Emma. Happy 18th birthday.
Right now, that seems so far away, 17 years.
Yes. You'll be all grown up by then, and we'll be...
没错 到时你将长得亭亭玉立 而我们将…
Well, your grandfather and I might not be here.
That's true. This message could be coming to you...
...from beyond the grave, Emma.
- After all, my parents died very young. - And my cholesterol's off the charts.
- 毕竟我的父母走得很早 - 而我的胆固醇已破表了
Remember, Emma, heart disease kills women too.
记得 艾玛 心脏疾病也会杀死女人的
Okay, cut! Great. Great. That was just...
好了 停 很好…那真是…
- Yeah. - Oh, good.
- 好吧 - 很好
Ross, uh, don't forget to get a shot of Emma's cake.
- It's in a box in the fridge. - Okay, sure.
- 就在冰箱里的盒子 - 好 没问题
You're gonna love this cake. I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Carino's.
Oh, my God, that place has the creamiest frosting.
I used to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
Well, anyway, they make these great novelty cakes...
好 他们有许多不同形状 新颖小巧的蛋糕
...in all different shapes. And if you give them a photo, they'll copy it in icing.
- Did you do a picture of Emma? - Yes. On a cake shaped like a bunny.
- 你用艾玛的照片去做了？ - 是的 印在兔宝宝形状的蛋糕上
Uh, Rach? Does this bakery by any chance also bake...
Say, for bachelorette parties?
Ross, what are you talking...? Oh, my God!
They put my baby's face on a penis!
Now it's a party!
Wait, you guys, this isn't funny, all right?
等一下 各位 这并不好笑
If I wanted this cake to be a disaster, I would have baked it myself!
Uh... Is it okay that I still think it looks delicious?
- Jack, look at this. - I know what you're thinking, Judy.
- 杰克 你看这个 - 我知道你在想什么 茱蒂
The resemblance is uncanny.
I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.
No, no, this is not what I ordered, okay?
I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake...
...for my daughter's birthday. And I need a bunny cake right now!
Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby's face off the penis...
...so we could put it on the bunny.
That is a weird sentence.
Oh, believe you me, I am going to bring this cake back.
I don't even want it in my home. Don't touch it!
我根本不想要它出现在我家 乔伊 不要碰它
Yes, I still want my daughter's picture, but on a bunny cake!
是的 我还是要有我女儿的照片 但是要在兔宝宝蛋糕上
Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts!
To be fair, this one does have nuts.
Hey, Mon, it was nice of you to loan Rachel your car...
摩妮卡 你真好 肯把车借给瑞秋
...so she could get the cake. - It was nice of her to pull my hair...
让她可以去拿蛋糕 - 她更好 抓着我的头发
...till I dropped the key.
Well, while we're waiting, you could tape your message to Emma...
...for her 18th birthday, huh? Okay?
Hi, Emma. It's the year 2020.
Are you still enjoying your nap?
We're Aunt Monica and Uncle Chandler, by the way.
You may not recognize us...
...because we haven't spoken to your parents in 17 years.
We used to be married.
But then we missed a weekend away together, and things kind of unraveled...
...because of you.
Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now.
罗斯 瑞秋答应我们 此时派对早该结束的
We seriously have to go if we want to get to Vermont.
- The last train leaves in a half-hour. - And I have a massage client soon.
- 最后一班火车半小时后离开 - 我有个按摩的客人就快来了
You guys, just, please, a little bit longer.
各位 拜托 再等一下
I promise, Rachel will be back with the cake any minute.
Monica, remember the frosting, huh?
All right, five more minutes.
Oh, no, what happened?
Okay, okay, where are you?
Okay, I'll be right there.
好 我 马上过去
Was that Emma? Is she up?
Rachel got pulled over for speeding.
She forgot her license. So I have to bring it to her.
- If you're leaving, I'm definitely going. - Wait, if anybody gets to go, it's us!
- 如果你走了 那我也要走了 - 等一下 要走也是我们
We've been complaining the longest!
No, wait, you guys. No, you can't leave.
不 等一下 各位 你们都不能走
Rachel already feels bad that the cake's messed up.
How do you think she'll feel when she comes back and you're gone?
I don't know. You'll tell us on Monday.
Joey, you're in charge, okay? You make sure nobody leaves.
乔伊 你负责 好吗？不可以让任何人离开
Hey! Where do you think you're going?
Well, the rest of you get comfortable, okay...
...because we are gonna be here for a...
- Wait, there's a window in there. - Oh, no! He's not getting away that easy!
- 等一下 那里面有窗户 - 可恶 他别想那么轻易逃走
What are you doing? Get the hell out of here!
Well, that one did not have Emma's face on it.
- No, it did not. - No.
- 对 没有 - 对
Well, we'd better get going. It's late.
Jack's not allowed to drive at night anymore.
He has trouble staying in his lane.
Last winter I went up on a church lawn and drove right through a manger scene.
The papers thought it was a hate crime.
- Anyway, it was lovely seeing you. - Okay.
- 好了 很高兴见到你们 - 好
- Bye. Bye, dear. - Nighty-night.
- 再见 亲爱的 - 晚安
- Nighty-night. - Bye.
- 晚安 - 再见
- How could you just let them leave? - Hey, hey.
- 你怎么可以让他们走？ - 拜托
I'm not gonna mess with Jack. He's a great man. He fought for our country.
我不会为难杰克的 他是个好人 他曾为我们国家奋战过
No, he didn't. He pretended to be a Quaker to get out of Korea.
不 他才没有 他假装是教徒来逃避韩战
Well, that's it. He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. Ha.
好了 够了 他是最后一个了 我要把你们全锁起来
You do know I can just turn them the other way around, right?
Oh, I forgot you used to live here.
- Hello? - Joey, it's Estelle.
- 喂？ - 乔伊 我是伊斯特
- Hey. - So how'd your audition go today?
- 嗨 - 你今天去试镜结果如何？
- What audition? - The one I told you about last week.
- 什么试镜？ - 我上星期跟你说的那个
What? You never said anything about an audition.
Let me start over. I just got a call about an audition.
让我重来一次 我刚接到一通电话 叫你去试镜
I think you can still make it.
It's down at the Astor Theater, and you need to have a monologue prepared.
A monologue? I don't have a...
So I'm gonna take off.
- What? - What? Wait! You don't get to leave.
- 什么？ - 不 等一下 你不能离开
I've got a massage client waiting outside my door any minute.
And we paid for a room that we're supposed to be in right now!
...only one of us has to stay with Emma.
Okay, and as the person who realized that, I get to go.
好 既然是我想到的 我可以先走
Let's figure out a fair way to decide who's staying.
Okay, everyone pick a number from one to 10, all right?
好 一到十 每个人选个号码 好吗？
Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
- Okay, 10. - Okay, Monica picks 10. I call nine.
- 好 10 - 摩妮卡选10 我选9
- No, let's just draw straws. - Okay.
- 不行 我们来抽签吧 - 也好
Or we could flip a coin and multiply the answer...
- I'm begging you to stop. - Right.
- 我求你别再说了 - 好吧
Okay, how about this? We got wind-up toys for Emma for her birthday.
好了 这样如何？ 我们一人选一样艾玛的发条玩具
We can make them race, and whoever comes in last stays.
Yeah, let's do that!
That sounds more fun than the thing we were gonna do in Vermont!
- Okay, everybody, pick your toys! - Okay. I want the dolphin!
- 好 各位 选好你的玩具 - 好 我要海豚
- That's a bear. - I'm too excited!
- 那是只熊 - 我太兴奋了
Phoebe, you get the bear. Joey, you get the robot.
菲比 你拿熊 乔伊 你拿机器人
- Oh, yeah. - And Chandler and I get the dog.
- 太好了 - 钱德和我拿小狗
And the race is going to go from here to here.
Now, the one who comes in last stays!
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, wind your toys.
好 各位女士和先生 上紧发条了
- Okay. On your mark, get set, go! - Go! Go!
- 好 就定位 预备 开始 - 加油…
What are you barking at?
Well, how is that gonna help?
I bought you! How did I forget that that's all you do?
Way to go, robot!
- Hey, good race, you guys. - Yeah, see you later.
- 各位 真是场精彩的比赛 - 没错 待会儿见了
The rules clearly stated that the last one to cross the finish line was the loser.
Well, our dog never crossed the finish line. So technically...
我们的狗从没越过终点线 所以 严格来说…
There isn't time to go to the bakery. We're just gonna come home.
All right. Well, just tell Emma that we'll be there as soon as we can. Bye.
好吧 告诉艾玛 我们会尽快赶回来 再见
- Rachel! - Oh, God, sorry!
- 瑞秋 - 天啊 抱歉
I can't believe they gave you a ticket. You're such a good driver.
- Emma's awake. - Yeah?
- 艾玛醒来了 - 是吗？
I can't believe this.
This is her first birthday, she's awake, we're not even there.
这是她的第一个生日 现在她醒来了 我们却不在那里
Everybody left. We still have this stupid obscene cake.
Hey, maybe I can fix that. You know, try to turn it into something else.
Oh, don't even bother.
We've already ruined her first birthday.
And do you know how important these early experiences are, Ross? Very!
罗斯 你知道这些早年的经验 有多重要吗？非常重要
According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
Rach, she's not gonna remember this.
Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know?
...and everybody gathered around her cake, singing "Happy Birthday."
大家聚在一起 围着她的蛋糕 唱着《生日快乐歌》
And then we would all... Hey, get out of the road, you stupid student driver!
然后我们大家… 滚远一点 你这个笨新手驾驶
They have to learn.
- Hey. - What?
- 你看 - 什么？
Oh, my God. Look, you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
天啊 你把它变成兔宝宝了 你怎么做的？
Well, I just made these two things cheeks.
And then I split this to make ears.
Well, I am very impressed.
Some can sing, some can dance.
I, apparently, can turn phallic cakes into woodland creatures.
很显然地 我就是能把阴茎的蛋糕 变成森林动物
Now, another way to organize your stuffed animals is by size.
I'm sorry, is this a game for Emma or for Monica?
不好意思 这是艾玛的游戏 还是摩妮卡的？
Emma, do you even know it's your birthday today? You're 1.
One year old. That's little.
That's how old you are.
Did I teach her that? Did I just impart wisdom?
There's no one around. Why don't we just take this one?
既然现在没有别人 干脆我们带走这个 好吗？
- And head to Canada. - I was kidding.
- 然后逃去加拿大 - 我是开玩笑的
I wasn't. Let's get going.
- Hey, are Ross and Rachel back? - No, not yet.
- 罗斯和瑞秋回来了吗？ - 没有 还没有
- Good, I didn't miss the party. - What about your massage client?
- 太好了 我没有错过派对 - 你的按摩客人呢？
I just felt so bad missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know.
As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it'll be all right.
If Ross and Rachel ask, I've been here the whole time. The whole time.
I've been here the whole time.
Joey, we just saw you come in. You ran past us on the stairs.
乔伊 我们刚看到你进来 你在楼梯间冲过我们
I don't care that you left. I'm just glad that you're here. Thanks, you guys.
我不介意你们离开过 现在在就好 谢谢你们大家
Hey, guys, come on. You gotta see what Emma just did.
- What? - Emma, how old are you?
- 什么？ - 艾玛 你几岁了？
How old are you today?
Oh, Emma, that's right. You're that many.
艾玛 没错 你一岁了
Oh, my God, our daughter's a genius.
- This means... - No! No science camp!
- 那表示… - 不行 不要参加科学营
- Damn it! I'll put a candle on the cake. - Oh...
- 可恶 我去把蜡烛插在蛋糕上 - 噢
Oh, and, Emma, look at your stuffed animals lined up so neatly.
艾玛 你的填充玩具 整理得这么整齐
Emma's first birthday cake.
Go ahead, Emma, blow out the candle.
来吧 艾玛 吹蜡烛吧
Come on, Emma. You can do it.
加油 艾玛 你可以的
- What's wrong? Are you okay? - Oh, yeah, nothing.
- 怎么了？你还好吗？ - 还好 没事
These are happy tears. Ha, ha.
This is just what I wanted.
Hey, you made it into a bunny.
What is wrong with me? It looked more delicious when it was a penis.
- Okay.Yeah. - Okay, you ready?
- 好了 你准备好了吗？ - 好了
- And record. - Okay.
- 开始录影 - 好
Hi, Emma. Well, your first birthday is over, and...
嗨 艾玛 你的第一个生日已经结束了…
Go! Go, Alan! Run, you hairy bastard!
加油…艾伦 跑快点 你这毛茸茸的混蛋