- Hey, guys. - Hey.
- 大家好 - 你好
Uh, we need to talk about something.
Yeah. We don't feel like we can host Thanksgiving this year.
- What? - Are you kidding?
- 什么？ - 你们开什么玩笑？
Well, it's just with work and the stress of adoption...
...we don't feel like we have the energy.
Plus, we don't think it's fair that every year the burden falls on us.
还有 每年都要我们扛重担 并不公平
That doesn't sound like you.
That's Monica talking.
No, no. We made this decision together.
She's putting words in your mouth.
Don't you put words in people's mouths. You put turkey in people's mouths.
I can't believe this. This is Emma's first Thanksgiving.
- No, it's not. - It's not? When was she born?
- 才不是 - 不是？她什么时候出生的？
Well, personally, I think it's great you're giving yourself a break.
- Thank you, Pheebs. - Sure. It's just as well.
- 谢谢 菲比 - 当然 这样也好
I mean, last year wasn't very good. I think she's losing her touch.
- What? You are way off, lady. - Am I? Really? Am I?
- 什么？你真是大错特错 小姐 - 是吗？真的？
Well, why don't you cook Thanksgiving dinner and prove me wrong.
Well, think about it. You'd be trying to top what you did last year.
You'd be in competition with yourself.
That's my favorite kind.
Okay, we are doing this.
Don't let yourself get manipulated this way.
Stay out of this, Chandler. This is between me and me.
少插手 钱德 这是我和我之间的事
We are supposed to make these decisions together.
Did you not watch the Dr. Phil I taped for you?
- Hey. - Hi. Happy Thanksgiving.
- 你好 - 感恩节快乐
Oh, yeah. Happy Meatless Turkey-Murder Day.
You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies from that bakery on Bleeker.
- Could you pick them up for me? - You're not making the pies?
- 你们可以帮我去拿吗？ - 你没有自己做？
No, I don't make chocolate pies.
When I was younger, I entered this pie-eating contest.
I ate so many that the thought of them makes me sick.
Did you at least win the contest?
Two minutes, twelve pies and a part of one tin.
- Okay, I'll see you guys at 4. - Can't wait.
- 四点见了 - 等不及了
This dinner is gonna be so great. In your face, last-year me.
这顿晚餐绝对会棒透了 接招吧 去年的我
- Hey, Rach? - Yeah.
- 瑞秋？ - 什么事？
Um, what's Emma doing today?
Well, let's see, uh, I know that she has a meeting with her lawyer...
...and then she has to make a very big poop.
- Why? - Well, I want to enter her...
- 怎么了？ - 我想让她参加宝宝
...in a baby beauty pageant.
Oh, my God. That's the creepiest thing I've ever heard.
Okay, but before you say no, my friend Suzanne is entering her kid.
And compared to Emma, she's a real dog.
- Agh. Phoebe, all babies are beautiful. - Oh, okay.
- 菲比 小婴儿都很可爱 - 好吧
No. Ugh, Phoebe, just the idea of pitting one baby against another...
菲比 我只是觉得 让婴儿之间互相比较
...I mean, you know, and judging who's cuter just for a trophy...
And a thousand dollars. ...is something I'm very interested in.
Oh, please, do not tell Ross.
He still believes that what's on the inside is important.
Okay. Oh, and Emma needs a cowgirl outfit for the competition.
Where am I gonna get a cowgirl outfit on Thanksgiving?
- Well, I was thinking... - Take the clothes...
- 我是想… - 把乔伊的
...off Joey's Cabbage Patch Kid! - Yeah!
Did someone drop the baton again?
Why come all the way from Kansas to do that?
I don't get older, I just get better.
You know what just occurred to me?
This could be our last Thanksgiving just the two of us.
I mean, we could be getting a baby soon.
- You don't know that. - Somebody's gonna pick us.
- 还不确定 - 定有人会挑中我们
But we haven't heard a thing from the adoption agency.
I'm telling you, it's gonna happen.
Next year, it's gonna be you, me and little Hemingway Bing.
明年 就有你 我和小海明威宾
- What? He's my favorite author. - Name one of his books.
- 干嘛？他是我最爱的作家 - 举出他任何一本书
Okay, let's see. Okay, the turkey's in the oven. The stuffing is ready.
我看看 火鸡在炉子里 馅料也准备好了
You know, you always cook this meal all by yourself. Let me help this year.
Oh, Chandler, that's sweet.
But you don't have to do everything Dr. Phil tells you to do.
I'm serious, let me do something. Just not the turkey. Nothing high-profile.
我说真的 让我帮忙 不必像火鸡那种重要的东西
Okay, let's see. Oh, the cranberry sauce.
It's easy to make, and no one really cares about it.
I'm gonna go check on something across the hall. You start by washing these.
You obviously haven't tasted my Palmolive potatoes.
- Hi. Hey, guess what Joey has. - Three tickets to today's Rangers game!
- 你猜乔伊手上有什么？ - 三张今天游骑兵的票
- Dude, I wanted him to guess. - Oh.
- 老兄 我要他用猜的 - 哦
- Oh, my God. - Yeah, they're great seats too.
- 天啊 - 没错 而且座位很棒
- Guess where they are. - Center ice.
- 你猜在座位在哪里？ - 场中间
Did I do something to you?
- Mm. The game's at 1. - So?
- 比赛一点才开始 - 那又如何？
- Dinner's at 4. We'll never make it back. - We leave before it's over. We'll be back.
- 四点就要吃晚餐 会来不及 - 我们可以先离开
You say that, but it could take us a long time to get home.
Plus, Joey could get lost and they could have to page us to go pick him up.
而且 乔伊可能会迷路 我们还要回头去接他
Dude, two times that happened!
Look, Monica's been working hard all day.
She didn't want to host in the first place. We shouldn't go.
- Yeah, I guess. So we'll see you at 4. - Okay.
- 好吧 四点见了 - 好
And get ready to taste my very special cranberries.
Or should I say "Chan-berries"?
That's some gentle comedy, dude.
We're still going to the game.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- 当然 - 当然
This is contestant number 16, Rebecca Hope from Yonkers.
- Hey. - Phoebe, listen, I think we gotta go.
- 你好 - 菲比 我们该走了
This place is freaking me out.
I've been watching this guy over there. I don't think he came with a kid.
But we can't leave now.
There was this one baby, Haley, who was favored to win...
本来有个宝宝 海莉 很讨评审欢心
...she got croup, so she had to stay home.
This competition just blew wide-open, folks.
Phoebe, it's just too weird.
I just saw a 1 -year-old run around with pantyhose on.
Oh, I know. We should've been more prepared.
It's okay. Now, the way I see it, our real competition now is Cameron.
没关系 现在看来 唯一的敌手的是卡麦隆
My God, they just took her sweater off.
Look at those arms. Hello, Michelin Man.
瞧那对臂膀 你好 米其林宝宝
- Oh, Phoebe. - Whoo-hoo.
- 菲比 - 哇哦
Come on! You know what, it's already 3:00.
They haven't even gotten to Emma's group yet. We got dinner.
But Emma's got what it takes. She could go all the way!
- Phoebe, you have to calm down. - Ahem. Okay.
- 菲比 冷静点 - 好
Rachel, the hottest babies in the tri-state area are in this room right now.
I overheard one judge say that not one of them holds a candle to Emma.
- Really? - Yeah.
- 真的？ - 当然
- You heard him say that? - Yeah.
- 他真的这么说？ - 对
All right. Okay. All right, let's give these babies something to cry about.
Good. Let's get down to business. Emma needs some makeup.
很好 来办正事 艾玛需要化妆
She's gonna look washed-out next to the others.
No, I'm not letting you put makeup on my baby.
- Why not? - Because I already did.
- 为什么？ - 因为我已经帮她化了
- Oh! You bum! Get off the ice! - You suck! Get off the ice, you idiot!
- 烂死了 - 滚出去 白痴
- What a game. - I know. Yeah.
- 比赛真精彩 - 没错
- I can't believe Chandler's missing this. - I'm sorry he's not here.
- 钱德错过这场比赛真可惜 - 他没来真可惜
But I gotta say, I am really enjoying nacho chair.
Yeah, I'd probably enjoy it more if you didn't keep batting my hand away.
对 如果你不要一直 把我的手打掉会更好
- Yeah! - These seats are great.
- 太好了 - 这座位真棒
I know, I know. When I was here for "Holidays on Ice"...
...I was sitting so far away, Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner.
Whoa, we'd better get going. If we don't leave now, we're gonna be late.
But it's a tie game. So we're a little late. The girls will be there.
可是现在打成平手 迟到又如何 女生们会先到
Let's just stay for one more goal.
- I don't know. - One more fight.
- 我不知道 - 等他们打群架
Where is everybody? They're 45 minutes late.
I can't believe they're not here. I slave and I slave for what?
They've ruined Cranberry Day.
- How late are we? - Forty-five minutes.
- 多晚了？ - 45分钟
Rachel and Phoebe are already there, so they probably started without us.
We could just slip in, and no one needs to know where we were.
- You may want to lose the foam finger. - Oh, no, no, no.
- 你最好拿下假手指 - 想得美…
You just want to put it on your hand.
You...? You're not at Thanksgiving?
- No. - No, we're late.
- 不 - 没有 我们迟到了
- What are you doing here? - We're late too.
- 你们在这做什么？ - 我们也迟到了
We figured we could be late because you'd be on time.
Don't point that thing at me, Tribbiani.
- Nobody's here? Monica's gonna kill us. - Yeah, where were you?
- 没人到？摩妮卡会杀了我们 - 你们到哪去了？
- Well... Uh... - Yeah, what's with the trophy?
- 这个… - 还有 奖杯哪来的？
- Uh, well, uh... - We were at a spelling bee.
- 额 - 我们去参加拼字比赛
You won an adult Thanksgiving Day spelling bee?
Yes. Y-E-S. Yes.
是的 是…的 是的
"Grand Supreme Little Darling, New York Division"?
You entered Emma in a beauty pageant?
And it looks like she put makeup on her.
Wait a second. Where have I seen that cowgirl outfit before?
I can't believe this. She's our daughter.
That you would treat her like some kind of show dog is inexcusable.
- She won a thousand dollars. - So this is an annual thing?
- 她赢了一千美金 - 一年只办一次吗？
That's Alicia May Emory's outfit!
Guys, there are people in there who are not getting any happier.
- What are we gonna do? - Figure it out.
- 我们该怎么办？ - 先进去
I gotta put Emma down for a nap.
And, Rach, while you're in there, throw something on Alicia May.
瑞秋 待会顺便帮 艾莉西亚美穿点衣服
- All right, what are we gonna say? - Ooh!
- 好吧 我们该说什么？ - 哦
We'll say that we were mugged.
You can't get mad at someone who's been mugged.
Good. But you don't look like you were mugged.
Do you hear something?
I can't believe this. They're an hour late...
...and they're just standing out there talking.
Everything's so distorted. It looks like Joey has a giant hand.
That says "Rangers" on it. They went to the game.
Oh, they are in for a world of pain.
- Ross' shirt is torn. - They're late and they're sloppy.
- 罗斯的衣服破了 - 他们既迟到又衣衫不整
All right, Emma's napping. What happened to your shirt?
好 艾玛睡了 你的衣服怎么了？
I got mugged, and they stole my pocket.
We're just trying to figure out an excuse.
Hey, ooh! How about this?
We could say that Monica told us 5:00, not 4:00. That way we're right on time.
可以说摩妮卡说五点 不是四点 这样刚好准时
Or we could plant PCP in the apartment and call the cops on her.
That would be a good way to get rid of all the PCP we have lying around.
We'll just say that she said it was 5:00.
We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time.
装没事 我们没迟到 是准时到达
"We know you're out there."
Who do you think it's from?
Oh, God, this is bad. This is so bad.
Well, let's just go in there and face them.
I'm not going in first. I bet that vein on Monica's forehead is popping like crazy.
I hate that thing. It's like a bolt of lightning.
I have an idea. Why don't we play Rock, Paper, Scissors.
Whoever loses, goes in first.
- All right, I'm in. - Ready.
- 好 来吧 - 好了吗？
- What is that? - That's fire. It beats everything.
- 那是什么？ - 这是火 它可是所向无敌
Oh, really? Does it beat water balloon?
- Pop-pssh. - Aw.
- 噗 - 啊
Well-played, Phoebe Buffay. Well-played.
算你行 菲比布非 算你行
All right, let's all go in at the same time.
- Okay. - Okay. Okay.
- 好吧 - 好
- It's locked. - What? Oh, sure, now they lock it.
- 锁住了 - 什么？现在才锁起来
When they're having sex on the couch, it's like:
"Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy!"
All right, come on. All right, you guys, we're so sorry we're late.
好了 别这样 两位 很抱歉我们迟到了
Please let us in so we can have dinner together.
No, everything's cold. The turkey's dried out and the stuffing's all soggy.
不 食物都冷了 火鸡干了 馅料也糊了
Yeah, and there's a bowl of cranberry sauce that's...
What happens to cranberry sauce?
- Nothing, it's fine. - Oh, thank God.
- 没事 它还好好的 - 感谢老天爷
Come on, you guys, we're sorry. Our subway broke down.
别这样 两位 对不起 我们的地铁故障了
That's a lie! You went to the game. I can see Joey's hand.
你说谎 你们去看比赛 我看到乔伊的手
For the love of God, take it off!
Guys, it doesn't matter why we're late. We're all here now.
两位 迟到原因不重要 我们现在都来了
Please let us in so we can have some of your delicious turkey.
I had a dream once about a fax machine that did that.
That's all the turkey you're gonna get.
- How are we gonna decide who gets this? - Water balloon!
- 要怎么决定谁吃？ - 水球
What are we gonna do? I'm starving.
Ah, oh! I just remembered, we do have something to eat.
Monica put something in our oven this morning.
You touch that, and you will be sorry!
Guys, I'd listen to her. The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it!
各位 最好听她的 我没见过这么大的青筋
- Ah! - Ha-ha-ha.
- 啊 - 哈哈哈
Oh, my God, it's Brussels sprouts!
That's worse than no food.
Ha, ha! All you got was Monica's stinky Brussels sprouts.
Please let me stay on this side of the door.
Oh, I know! I still have my old key.
- Oh. - We can just unlock the door.
- 哦 - 可以用来开门
I don't know if that's a good idea. They don't wanna be with us.
I don't wanna be with them either...
...but it's Thanksgiving, and we should not want to be together together.
If I could just get in there, make a face-to-face apology.
Look them in the eye, I could get them to forgive us.
- I don't know. - I'm telling you...
- 真的吗？ - 我说真的
Yeah, he can do it.
Aw. It all looks so beautiful.
- The turkey, the stuffing. - The cranberries.
- 火鸡 馅料… - 还有小红莓
Ugh, enough! A monkey could've made them.
Hey, listen, guys, we feel really terrible.
两位 听我说 我们真的很抱歉
He's doing that weird eye-contact thing.
Don't look at him. Don't look at him.
Come on, you guys. We want you to know we're very, very sorry.
别这样 两位 我们真的…很抱歉
- I feel terrible. - Oh, so sorry.
- 我很难过 - 对不起
But let's not ruin this day. You've worked so hard.
Let's move past this and try to have a nice meal all together, huh?
The floating heads do make a good point.
Yeah, they do seem to feel pretty bad.
- So bad. - So bad.
- 好难过 - 真不好受
Okay, you two go get the dessert, and I'll let you in.
Yeah, I asked you and Phoebe to pick up the pies. You did remember, right?
Pies. Oh, we thought you said "prize."
- "Grand Supreme Little Darling"? - Congratulations!
- "小宝贝冠军"？ - 恭喜
Oh, my God, you forgot the pies? Well, I cannot believe this.
You forced me to make dinner, you're an hour late...
...and you forget the one little thing that I asked you to do.
Really, girls, not cool.
Well, you man-heads aren't any better. You lied about going to the game.
You knew it'd make you late, and you went anyway.
Hey, I'm getting a little tired of this. We said we're sorry.
It's Thanksgiving, for Pete's sakes! A day of forgiveness.
- It's a day to be thankful. - Don't make me come up there!
- 是感激他人 - 不要逼我上去揍你
It's too late for apologies.
Fine, let's just go. I don't need your stupid dinner.
好 我们走 我不吃你的蠢晚餐
That would be a lot more convincing if you weren't drooling.
- Ew, is that what that is? - Sorry.
- 那是口水？ - 抱歉
Come on, you guys, let's just do our own Thanksgiving.
- Yeah, I'll cook. - Yeah, let's go out.
- 我来做菜 - 我们出去吃
Yeah, you three have a nice Thanksgiving.
- The three of us? - Yeah. You, Chan and the vein.
- 三个？ - 对 你 钱德和青筋
- Uh-oh. I'm stuck. - Joey, that is not gonna work.
- 我被卡住了 - 乔伊 这招不管用
- I'm really wedged in here. - I'll pull you through.
- 我被卡在这里了 - 我拉你出来
Ow! Stop, stop, I'm worried about damaging my head.
It's a little late for that.
Hurry up, you gotta do something.
All right, well, this does not change anything.
We need to get something to grease his face.
- We got turkey grease. - Bring it.
- 有火鸡油 - 去拿
I just want to say that I'm sorry I referred to the vein as a separate person.
- Okay? - Okay, try it.
- 好了吗？ - 好 试试看
Gah! It isn't working.
- We're gonna have to unscrew the chain. - Hurry, I can't feel my ears.
- 看来得把链条解开 - 快 我的耳朵没感觉了
Can you ever feel your ears?
- Chandler, where are your tools? - Oh, I left them on my bulldozer.
- 钱德 你的工具在哪？ - 我放在推土机上
I don't have tools.
- Well, I do, but Rachel borrowed them. - I lent them to Ross.
- 我有 可是瑞秋借去了 - 我借给罗斯
- I gave them to Joey. - I left them at the park.
- 我拿给乔伊 - 我放在公园里
I'm finding it really hard not to mess with him.
I stuffed Brussels sprouts down his pants.
Okay, I have to get that.
Now, when I get back, I want you and your friends to be gone.
Thanksgiving is over. The vein has spoken.
- It's really starting to hurt. - Look, I'm gonna pull on the door...
- 越来越痛了 - 听着 我把门拉开
...and you guys push. Maybe we can get enough room to wiggle him out, okay?
Just a sec. We're kind of in the middle of something here.
Ooh, ooh. Stop putting things down my pants.
- Come on, guys, push! - Yeah, come on, push!
- 快点 各位 推 - 对 快推
- My cranberries! - Man, I got food all over me.
- 我的小红莓 - 老天 我身上都是食物
I can't believe what you did. Monica's gonna kill you.
Look! Look! Look what the... Look what the floating heads did!
That was the adoption agency.
- We're getting a baby! - Are you serious?
- 我们有宝宝了 - 你说真的？
There's a pregnant woman in Ohio, and she picked us.
- Oh, my God, that's great! - That's incredible.
- 天啊 太好了 - 真是太好了
I'm so happy for you.
This Thanksgiving kicks last Thanksgiving's ass!
To Monica and Chandler and that knocked-up girl in Ohio.
I'm just so happy you guys are finally getting a kid.
I know. Have you considered pageanting?
I can't believe they called. I mean, we're actually getting a baby.
Aw. I know how you feel.
- Really? - Sure.
- 真的？ - 当然
I went through the exact same thing with Alicia May Emory.
The waiting, the wondering.
Then one day, I get that call from Toys"R"Us.
That is the exact same thing.