Previously on The Big Bang Theory...
We now pronounce you husband and wife!
I love this part!
I have strongly mixed feelings!
So, Howard's really in space, huh?
Mm-hmm, International Space Station.
250 miles that way.
Right now, Howard's staring down at our planet
like a tiny Jewish Greek god.
I can't help but feel a twinge of envy.
He can look out the window
and see the majesty of the universe
unfolding before his eyes.
His dim, uncomprehending eyes.
It's like a cat in an airport carrying case.
You know, it's not exactly glamorous up there.
The water that the astronauts drink
is made from each other's recycled urine.
Nobody wants anything that comes out of me.
I wonder what he's doing right this very second.
Mm, conducting experiments in zero gravity.
Peering through his telescope at the birth of the cosmos.
Whatever it is, we know his life will never be the same.
Howard! Can you hear me?!
I can hear you without the phone!
I'm just excited to talk to my baby!
I'm excited to talk to you, too.
So, what's this mishegas about you moving out
to go live with the little Polish girl?!
How about calling her my wife?
Wives don't take boys from their mothers.
They do. That's why we marry them!
I just hope I'm not dead from a broken heart
before you get back.
Everyone from NASA is listening to this phone call.
Good. They should know what a horrible son you are!
Okay, Ma, great talking to you! Gotta go!
好啦 妈 下次再聊 挂啦
Well... space is ruined.
This is so exciting.
Soon, my upper lip will be the same fake blonde
as my beautiful best friend.
Hey, this is my natural hair color.
So, does Sheldon have anything special
planned for you tomorrow night?
Oh, yes. According to the Relationship Agreement,
on the anniversary of our first date,
he must take me to a nice dinner,
ask about my day
and engage in casual physical contact
that a disinterested onlooker might mistake for intimacy.
You kids better use protection.
How long does this stay on?
Just a couple of minutes.
You've really never done this before?
Once in high school, but I dozed off
and woke up with second-degree chemical burns on my face.
Oh, my gosh, that's awful.
The other kids make fun of you?
No, I had a cover story;
I told everyone it was herpes.
So, how's everything going with you and Leonard?
I don't know, it's still kind of weird.
We haven't really recovered since he proposed to me
in the middle of sex.
If Sheldon proposed to me during sex,
my ovaries would grab on to him
Leonard, where do you stand on the anthropic principle?
On the one hand, I always thought...
You don't even know what it is, do you?
The anthropic principle states that if we wish to explain
why our universe exists the way it does,
the answer is that it must have qualities
that allow intelligent creatures to arise
who are capable of asking the question.
As I am doing so eloquently right now.
I know what the anthropic principle is.
Of course. I just explained it to you.
Now, where do you stand on it?
- Where do you stand on it? - Strongly pro.
Then I believe that God created the world in six days,
and on the seventh, he made you to annoy me.
where do you stand on the anthropic principle?
- I'm all for it. - Attaboy!
Well, hang on. Why do you believe
that he knows what it is and I don't?
Oh, Leonard. Let's not take a saw
to the branch we're sitting on, shall we?
Hey, uh, if you guys are free tonight,
I heard about a SPA where you soak your feet
in a pool full of little fish
that eat all the dead skin right off them.
I don't need to tell you, in Los Angeles,
sandal season is year round.
- Actually, I'm hanging out with Penny. - Oh, okay.
Sounds like it's me and you, Sheldon.
How about we sic some guppies on those puppies?
As I've stated before on numerous occasions,
the only sea creature I would even consider being eaten by
because the last words I would hear are:
"Release the Kraken."
That never gets old.
"Release the Kraken!"
Besides, I'm having dinner with Amy.
Oh, okay. I'll just go home and be alone.
I eat alone, I sleep alone, I cry alone, so...
我一个人吃 一个人睡 一个人默默流泪
If you weren't busy, I'd ask you to join us.
Really? I can come? Thanks!
真的吗 我可以去吗 谢谢
Sheldon, are you sure you want to be bringing Raj
on your date night with Amy?
I have a contractual obligation to provide Amy with conversation
and casual physical contact,
but nowhere is it specified
that I can't outsource that to an Indian.
Hey, there's my beautiful bride!
I can. How are you?
I mean, this is even better than I dreamed.
I look out the window, and... it's all so unbelievable.
I just had a seemingly endless dinner with your mom.
Oh, yeah? That's nice.
It was. Until I found out you never told her
we're not gonna live with her.
Let's talk about that for a minute.
Hey, look, this pen is floating.
How crazy is that?
You said you told her, but you never did!
Okay, okay, I know you're upset, but...
好吧 我知道你很失望 可...
let me share something I've learned since I got here.
You realize how small your problems are
when you're looking down on them from space.
Now, come on, that's got to make you feel better.
How clear is the image of me on that screen?
Do I look like I feel better?
I mean, it's not, like, HD quality.
Listen, mister, you're gonna talk to your mother
and you're gonna fix this, or that thing I said
I was gonna do to you the minute you got home,
you can do to yourself.
Like he's been doing since he got here.
Sheldon, this place is so romantic.
Oh, I'm glad you like it.
Well, when you see him, tell him I say thank you.
Tell him yourself.
I don't understand. What's he doing here?
Sheldon, that's not okay.
There's a loophole in the Relationship Agreement.
You found a loophole?
Sorry I started without you. I'm a little nervous.
It's been a long time since I've been on a date.
I can't believe I bleached my mustache for this.
You should go to my girl.
She'll knock out those sideburns for free.
You know, Amy, I don't even think
you and I have had a real conversation.
Let's use tonight to get to know each other a little better.
Sheldon, how could you do this?
It's our second anniversary.
It's your anniversary?!
Oh, my God, I had no idea.
Amy, please, let me make this right.
My pleasure. Waiter?
A bottle of champagne and three glasses.
Oh, boy, isn't this romantic?
Oh, I hope that's a rhetorical question,
because I have no clue.
This is great. What's the occasion?
You know, things have been a little weird between us,
so I wanted to throw together a fun night just for you.
- That is so sweet. - I got all your favorites.
Beer, wings, sliders.
啤酒 鸡翅 小汉堡
We can watch the football game.
I even painted my stomach.
in case you were in the mood for baseball,
I didn't want to look ridiculous.
This is awesome. I love it!
Gosh, I worked my ass off today.
This is exactly what I needed.
Great. Just relax and enjoy.
Tonight is all about you.
So, where exactly are we in this relationship?
I just told you I had a hard day.
You're right, I'm sorry. Let's watch the game.
对对 我错了 看球看球
I just know the longer we wait to talk about it, the weirder it gets.
Sweetie, can I just be the girl tonight?
Absolutely. You're the girl, I'm the guy.
当然可以 你是小女生 我是小男孩
Now, you watch your football game
- while I make you a little plate here. - Thank you!
What are you doing here?
I thought you were out th Sheldon and Amy.
I was, but it's their anniversary
and I didn't want to be a third wheel,
so I figured I'd come over here
and hang out with you and Penny on your date.
Well, it's not really a great time.
Penny and I have some things we need to talk about.
No, we don't! Come on in!
I can't believe I shaved my stomach for this.
You got a phone call.
A woman who says she's your mother
but sounds like your father.
You know, we could see each other
if you turn on the computer.
I'm not going near that fakakta thing.
I'll catch a computer virus!
You can't catch a computer virus.
Oh, so now you're an astronaut and a doctor?
What do you want, Ma?
Your wife says you have something important to tell me.
Bernadette and I are starting a life together and...
Oh, God! You are gonna leave me!
Your father left me, you left me--
I guess I'm just the kind of person people like to leave.
It's not... definite.
I'll talk to Bernadette.
I'll just go sit in a hole in the ground
so I'm no trouble when I die.
I'm sure I can get Bernie to come around.
I knew she was behind this!
You listen to me, if you want to be a man,
you can't let a woman tell you what to do!
I can't believe these people won the Cold War.
Now, can we please change the subject?
Explain why you've been gone so long
and I haven't gotten a single letter.
Not even a lousy postcard!
You know, I'm growing to like American football.
Yeah, it's fun, isn't it?
Well...it's not the balls-to-the-wall action of badminton or cricket,
All right, who's ready for another beer?
- I'm good. - No, thank you.
-我还有 -不用了 谢谢
I am having the nicest time.
You guys are like family to me.
You know that, right?
That's great. Get out.
Penny and I have some issues we need to talk about.
Pish on your issues!
You guys are fine.
Yes, you hit some bumps along the way.
you've always known how this man has felt about you,
but you made him grovel for affection.
Now, don't blame yourself.
He was a groveler from way back.
But the point is, the two of you got past it.
And, Leonard, you go and propose
to this poor girl in the middle of sex?
That was some weak tea, dude.
Some people might say it was romantic.
But yet, here you two are, still together.
And that's even after you and I had our crazy naked night.
Okay... That's enough.
that after everything you've been through,
you get to look into each other's eyes
and say "I love you."
And that's beautiful.
Actually, to this day, she's never really said it.
Oh, Penny! That's ridiculous!
You know you love him!
You look him in the eyes and you say it.
- Raj... - Oh, come on,
you know you want to say it. Say it.
I really thought she would say it.
Have I ever told you you're like a sexy praying mantis?
Every time you drink alcohol.
You know what's wonderful about the praying mantis?
They devour their mate.
Your point being?
Dessert is served.
I just had cobbler.
W-Where are you going?
Sheldon, you either say something meaningful
and from the heart, or you and I are done.
when I look in your eyes
and you're looking back in mine,
everything feels not quite normal,
stronger and weaker at the same time.
I feel excited and, at the same time, terrified.
I don't know what I feel, except...
I know what kind of man I want to be.
I should hope so.
That's from the first Spider-Man movie.
Now, I assume we're splitting the check?
Oh, hey. I was actually just about to close up.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'll leave.
No, no. It's okay. Hang out.
不用 没事 随便看
Yeah, you're my first customer today.
I'm, uh, having a nightcap.
You want to join me?
What are you drinking?
Coffee liqueur in a Chewbacca mug.
I call it a sad-tini.
Perfect for the night I'm having. Thank you.
Hmm. Nice not to drink alone.
a little chardonnay into my dog's water bowl.
She's kind of a mean drunk, but what are you gonna do?
- A little music? - Sure.
You listen to that with your hips as well as your ears.
Latin music just makes me feel like
I'm on a white sand beach in Rio.
The sun, the waves, the beautiful bodies,
艳阳 波涛 娇躯
tanned and glistening with sweat.
- I should go. - Yeah.
Uh, thank you for the drink.
- Hey, Stuart. - Yeah?
Do you want to... hang out tomorrow night,
maybe grab a bite to eat or catch a late movie?
Yeah, I-I'd like to, but I'm a little tight on funds.
No problem. My treat.
I'll swing by after work.
I could do worse.
Aw, that's such good news, Howie.
Thank you for telling her.
Hey, I'm a grown man; I'm gonna live with my wife.
My mother's just gonna have to learn to make do on her own.
Who can tell? She yells everything.
She might have been upset.
She might have been hungry.
Thanks for fixing it.
Sweet dreams. I'll talk to you tomorrow?
Good night, Rocket Man.
To infinity and beyond, baby.
飞向宇宙 浩瀚无垠 宝贝[巴斯光年名句]
You realize you just lied your ass off
to your wife and your mother.
What are you gonna do when you get back to Earth?
Oh, I'm never going back.