I don't know why I avoided
the Harry Potter books for so long.
I just started number six.
That's a good one.
Dumbledore dies in that one.
Yeah, I know, I didn't see it coming, either.
Why would you say that?
You brought up the subject.
I contributed an interesting fact on that subject.
It's called the art of conversation.
That was a huge spoiler.
What is wrong with you?
If I did that, you'd bitch about it for weeks.
Oh, really, Leonard?
Are you going to have another one of your hissy fits?
Hissy fits? I have hissy fits?
Yes, and I have a theory why.
Because of your lactose intolerance,
you switched over to soy milk.
Soy contains estrogen-mimicking compounds.
I think your morning Cocoa Puffs
are turning you into a hysterical woman.
You are unbelievable.
I don't know why I put up with you.
You're controlling, you're irritating...
There you go again-- nag, nag, nag.
又开始叽叽歪歪了 叽叽 歪歪 叽歪
You're only proving my point, little lady.
You know what? Screw you, Sheldon.
You are the most annoying person I have ever met.
What? I'm annoying?
You criticize my behavior all the time.
"Sheldon, don't talk about your bowel movements over breakfast."
"Sheldon, when the president of the university
is giving a eulogy at a funeral,
don't yawn and point at your watch."
"Sheldon, don't throw away my shirts
'cause you think they're ugly."
That's it. I don't...
I don't have to put up with this.
Actually, I have your signature on a roommate agreement
that says you do.
Here's what I think of your roommate agreement.
- You pick that up right now. - No.
Roommate agreement, section 27, paragraph 5:
The roommate agreement, like the American flag,
cannot touch the ground.
I don't have to do anything you say because...
I don't think I want to live here anymore.
- Where are you going? - To live with Penny
and not you, you crazy bastard.
- Crazy bastard? - Yes.
- Leonard, wait. - What?
-莱纳德 等等 -干嘛
Dobby the elf dies in book seven.
Great. Come on in.
What, you don't say thank you?
It's my suitcase.
I lent it to you two years ago.
Well, then, I should tell you
I broke the wheel and the handle.
So, is everyone from Bernadette's company
No, just me, her and a couple of the big wigs.
没 就我跟她 以及一些高层
- It's part of a bonus she got. - Cool.
Did she discover a cure for something?
They spent a ton of money developing this dandruff medication
that had the side effect of horrible anal leakage.
Is there a good anal leakage?
Anyway, it was Bernie's idea
to rebrand the stuff as a cure for constipation.
Way to make lemonade.
You know, from around the corner where fudge is made.
- Hey, I got a favor to ask. - Sure.
My mom's been kind of an emotional wreck
since that dentist she was dating dumped her.
Dumped her? What, did he use a forklift?
There's nothing funny about morbid obesity.
She's huge. It was funny.
Anyway, I was just hoping
that maybe you could check in on her tomorrow night
and make sure she's doing okay.
Dude, I'm a single man.
Saturday night is my party night.
Really? What do you got going on?
I don't know, maybe drive down to Hollywood,
hit a few hot spots, see if I can get lucky.
Okay, tell me if this sounds familiar.
You pay $15 to park,
you stand on the sidewalk for an hour
until you break down and give the bouncer
20 bucks to let you in.
You push your way to the bar,
where you drink an $18 cosmopolitan,
then you stare at a pretty girl
and imagine your perfect life together.
Your children, grandchildren.
Meanwhile, she leaves with a guy who claims
he wrote Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
Then you give up on anyone ever loving you,
go to Marie Callender's, buy a pie
and eat it in your car in the parking lot.
What time should I be at your mother's?
I told her around 7:00.
I swear, that man is the most egotistical,
insufferable human being I have ever met.
Yeah, but you two make such a cute couple.
Like Burt and Ernie.
《芝麻街》是美国家喻户晓的儿童教育节目教授基础阅读算术 颜色的名称 字母和数字等基本知识
You guys even teach me stuff about words and numbers.
Well, I've had it. I am done.
I can't... I can't live with him for one more minute.
Where are you going to go?
I was thinking here with you.
No, it's-it's great.
It's terrific. I...
You know, I just can't help feel bad about Sheldon.
how's he going to get by without you?
He's got Amy now.
Yeah, he does, but it's not the same.
Well, um, all right.
You-you know how in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince,
Ron didn't abandon Harry just because Harry started
dating Ron's sister?
Harry and Ginny get together?
Sorry. Spoiler alert.
My point is, as much as I want to live with you,
I can't do it knowing how much Sheldon needs you.
Please, the only thing he needs me for
is to be his whipping boy,
his-his stooge, his doormat.
Well, you know what they say: if it ain't broke...
源自谚语"If it ain't broke, don't fix it"意思是不要随便改变现状 小心弄巧成拙
It sounds to me like you don't want us to live together.
No. No, no, I do.
不 不是 我想
I do. It's just...
I mean, it's a really big step.
We're together all the time.
Financially, it makes great sense.
Can you think of one reason why we shouldn't do this?
- I'm just a little thirsty. - Yeah.
Great. I'll go get my stuff.
Okay, all right, don't freak out.
You can make this work.
Oh, could you clear off a shelf for me in the bathroom?
I take a lot of medicine.
Oh, please let some of it be Xanax.
Are you ready for dessert?
No, thank you, Mrs. Wolowitz.
不了 谢谢 沃罗威茨太太
As it is, I'm going to have to carry my stomach out of here
like I'm a fireman rescuing an infant.
You're a tall glass of brown water.
Well, I-I really couldn't.
But, uh, I've had a lovely time eating your brisket
and hearing about the things you've had removed
from your body over the years.
Didn't know you could have a cyst inside another cyst.
The doctor said they were like Russian nesting dolls.
Well, if you have to go,
how about I put a little doggie bag together for you?
That would be lovely. Thank you.
Mrs. Wolowitz, uh...
I just cry when I'm lonely
and have nothing to live for.
- I suppose I could stay for some dessert. - Great.
- You like chocolate chip cheesecake? - Sure.
One vintage Mr. Mxyzptlk action figure.
One Star Trek: The Next Genxtion phaser.
One Game of Thrones collector's edition Longclaw sword.
Oh... Leonard and I bought that together.
That's a bit of an ethical conundrum.
Eh, I'll keep it.
So, uh, what's your plan moving forward?
Uh, suppose I'll have to find and cultivate a new roommate.
What a task that will be.
Do you know how uncivilized Leonard was when I took him in?
Oh, it took me forever to get him on a bathroom schedule.
He would just go whenever the mood struck him.
- Like a dog-boy. - Exactly.
What if you could find a roommate
who was a scientist
and already familiar and comfortable with your ways?
That would be ideal.
If a person like that existed,
I would sign on, no further questions asked.
Great. Here I am!
Here who is where?
Aren't I your perfect roommate?
Think about it, Sheldon.
I'm not a stranger,
we're intellectually compatible,
I'm willing to chauffeur you around town,
and your personality quirks,
which others find abhorrent or rage-inducing,
I find cute as a button.
What do you think?
Tell me one reason why this isn't a fantastic idea.
I'm gonna go see if Leonard's room
is big enough for my water bed.
Good buddy Leonard. Good buddy Leonard.
Good buddy Leonard.
So, uh, I was just talking to Amy,
and she made me realize
that this little dust-up between you and me
is much ado about nothing.
- Is that so? - Yes.
All is forgiven, so come back home.
I'll make you some soy hot chocolate,
and then I'll you tell you about our exciting new
devil-may-care bathroom policy.
- Cut to the chase, Sheldon. - Okay.
-别拐弯抹角了 谢尔顿 -好吧
Amy's decided she wants to move in with me,
so I need you to come back home, you lovable scamp.
That's a lot of product.
- What's going on? - Oh, get this:
suddenly, Sheldon wants me back
because Amy wants to move in with him.
Well, too late, pal. I'm not going anywhere.
太晚了 伙计 我哪也不去
Penny and I are very happy living together.
It's like the happiness won't ever leave the apartment.
You know Amy moving in marks a level of intimacy
our relationship isn't ready for.
Yes! That is a real thing.
And it doesn't mean you don't care about each other;
it just means things are moving at a pace
you're not comfortable with, and that's fine.
Well, if he doesn't want to live with her,
then he should tell her how he feels.
Well, maybe he doesn't know how to say it
without hurting her feelings.
What am I, a hippie at a love-in? No.
she laid out a series of logical arguments
that I couldn't refute.
- That is the worst, isn't it? - Yes.
-这样最糟糕了 对吗 -没错
I'm sorry, Sheldon. I can't help you.
抱歉 谢尔顿 我无能为力
this door's about to slam in your face.
When do I get a key to our apartment?
Hey. How'd it go last night with my mom?
What time did you leave?
Actually, I'm still here.
What? You spent the night?
After dinner, we watched a rerun of Rockford Files,
and then she opened a bottle
of, uh, cream sherry, and the next thing I know,
she was tucking me into your bed.
You wore my pajamas?
How do you sleep in these things?
Silk pajamas on satin sheets?
I slid out of the bed, like, three times.
You ready for breakfast?
Oh, boy. Breakfast.
Okay, Raj, listen to me.
You need to get out of there.
But I have a cream sherry hangover
and I smell blintzes.
If you don't leave now,
she'll use food and guilt
to keep you there for the rest of your life.
Oh, Howard, stop.
Trust me, you're not Jewish.
That's how they get you.
You're being silly.
I can leave whenever I want.
Oh, really? Where are your clothes and your shoes?
They're on the chair, right over...
Hello, home wrecker.
You gave Leonard somewhere to go.
Amy's out buying his and hers bath towels.
Like I'd ever dry myself with something
that has a possessive pronoun on it.
The truth is I don't want him living with me.
Great. Kick him out.
Break his heart. Everybody wins.
No, I don't want to break his heart.
This is just happening too fast.
You think this is fast?
It's just a matter of time
before I see Amy's leg stubble in my shower.
Yeah, and I've seen those legs.
You might want to get some Drano.
If you don't want to live with Leonard,
why don't you just tell him?
Well, you know how he is.
He's sensitive and emotional.
That's because he drinks too much soy milk.
Well, I don't know what else we can do
but tell them the truth.
I suppose there's no choice
but to face the crying, angry accusations
and the high-pitched wails of despair.
And who knows how Amy will react.
Here's some more ice.
What were we thinking?
We should have just done it the regular way.
Those Chinese acrobats in Cirque du Soleil
made it look so easy.
Honestly, if I could bend that far,
what would I need with you?
If you could bend that far, you'd be doing us both a favor.
Hey, Raj. What's up?
I can't get out of here!
You're still at my mother's?
My clothes have been in the laundry all day,
and she hid my keys.
I think they might be in her bra,
because she jingles when she walks.
Hey, you wanted a woman in your life.
Come on, Howard, help me.
拜托 霍华德 救命啊
Rajesh, tatellah, I ran you a bath.
拉杰什 宝贝 洗澡水放好了
She's not gonna bathe me, is she?
Gee, I wish I could tell you no.
All right, well, thanks again for helping me out.
Should we go back and rescue him?
We'll see him at his Bar Mitzvah.
I picked up the Chinese food just the way Leonard used to.
- Is it kung pao chicken? - Yes.
- Brown rice, not white rice? - Yes.
-糙米 不是精米吧 -不是
- Spicy mustard from the Korean deli? - Yes.
- I did good, right? - Yes.
are you worried that us living together
will take the mystery out of our relationship?
Yeah, why would you?
Oh, and, uh, check this out.
I took the liberty of scripting
a new outgoing voice mail message for both of us.
"Hello. This is Sheldon."
"And this is Amy."
"We're not home right now."
"'Cause we out dropping science, son."
You can't live here.
Is it the message?
I only used urban slang to sound tough
- so people wouldn't break in. - No.
It's not the message.
Well, what is it, then?
I did everything just the way you like it.
- You did. - Then what the hell, Sheldon?!
-是的 -那他妈的是怎么原因 谢尔顿
We have been going out for over two years,
and I have been nothing but patient with you!
I watch your dopey space movies.
I signed your ridiculous contract.
I even stopped wearing lip gloss 'cause you said
it made my mouth look too slippery.
I am the best girlfriend
you're ever gonna have.
You give me one good reason why I can't live here.
It's Penny's fault.
She doesn't want to live with Leonard,
so he has to come live here again.
She's the snake in our garden.
She's the reason we can't be happy.
"Hey, Ames," Nothing.
I was all set to move in with Sheldon,
and now I hear I can't
- 'cause you don't want to live with Leonard. - What?
Sheldon, what did you say?
You don't want to live with Leonard, and you know it.
Since when don't you want to live with me?
Oh, don't get all huffy.
You're the one who decided to move in
without even asking me if I was ready.
Yeah, I think we should talk about that.
And since you love the truth so much,
why don't you tell Amy you don't want to live with her
instead of blaming it on me?
I thought we were talking about the other thing.
Well, the evidence does support that.
Come on, Amy, let's go drink wine
来吧 艾米 我们去喝点红酒
and talk about what jerks our boyfriends are.
You know what would show them?
I should move in here with you.
catch up on some Walking Dead?
Have you seen the one where Lori dies?
Or maybe she doesn't.
- Where you going? - No!