The interface is pretty simple.
You put your horizontal "X" coordinate here,
vertical "Y" coordinate here.
When you're happy with those, you press this button.
Leonard, you'll never guess who I just found online--
Eh, his giant head did most of the work.
You're lucky I'm out of Silly String.
As I was saying, Leonard,
you'll never guess who I just found online:
- He's still alive? - Yes!
Who's Professor Proton?
He was the host of this great--
Sorry, tell me about Professor Proton.
Professor Proton hosted my favorite science show
when I was a child.
I never missed an episode.
He demonstrated scientific principles using everyday objects.
Aw, so cute when you use the word "Cool" wrong.
Like when kids say "pasghetti."
He's still available for parties and events.
We should hire him.
Hire him to do what?
Well, whatever we want.
Hang out, do experiments,
make him take 12 pictures with us
so we can make a calendar.
It would be pretty awesome to hang out with him.
I just used "awesome" wrong, didn't I?
Well, I'm E-mailing him right now.
Do you remember his old theme song?
* Grab your goggles, put your lab coat on *
* 拿起你的护目镜 穿上你的实验袍 *
* Here he comes, Professor Proton.*
* 质子教授 大驾光临 *
Hey, I just found out I have to be at
the telescope lab all weekend.
Any chance you and Bernadette could take care of my dog?
Why don't you put her in a kennel?
Why don't you put your mother in a home?
To be honest, she'd do better in the kennel.
I'll talk to Bernie. I'm sure it's fine.
It's happening! It's happening!
Professor Proton is coming to our house.
You mean the guy who used to host that lame kids show?
And you just got yourself uninvited.
See? I told you I'd find a tactful way to do that.
How'd you get him to come to your house?
As Professor Proton always says,
"There is no problem you can't solve
- if you use your noggin." - And he wrote him a check.
Yeah, that, too. Big check.
对 没错 花大钱哟
Cinnamon's here for her sleepover party!
You know if you had a stroke, she'd eat you, right?
你知道如果你中风倒下 她会把你吃掉 对吧
And it would be my pleasure to be her num-num.
Okay, so what do I need to know to take care of her?
For breakfast, she has an egg-white frittata.
Feel free to give her a choice
of home fries or an English muffin, but not both.
We're watching our weight.
Uh, for dinner, something simple--
a veal chop, some scampi, whatever you like.
一份小牛排 几个虾 随便什么都行
- Classy dog. - Yes.
Also, don't forget to close the toilet
or she'll drink out of it.
I've got a psychotic mommy, too.
Leonard, are you in bed?
- Yes. - Me, too.
Well, I can, so shut up.
Do you realize that in less than nine hours,
Arthur Jeffries, a.k.a. Professor Proton,
will be in our apartment?
Sheldon, you know that if you stay up all night,
you're gonna be sleepy tomorrow.
And a sleepy Sheldon is a cranky Sheldon.
And a cranky Sheldon...
is actually no different than a regular Sheldon.
I'm thinking of wearing a tuxedo.
That's not ridiculous. Good night.
Do you have cufflinks?
- No. - Ah, just as well.
Where can you rent a tuxedo 3:00 in the morning?
Nice to meet you, Professor Proton.
Nice to meet you, Professor Proton.
Nice to meet you, Professor Proton.
Nice to meet you, Prof...
I still can't sleep.
She really tuckered herself out at the park, huh?
Yeah, you two were so cute playing together.
It was kind of fun throwing a ball
and not having anyone laugh at me.
And you were sweet not to throw it too far
so she didn't wear out her tiny legs.
Yeah, that's what I was doing.
You know, there were a few moments today
when I almost felt like we were a little family.
- Really? - Yeah.
I never thought of myself as a mom,
but when the three of us were out there having fun,
I felt like maybe someday we could do it.
Especially if our baby's as calm and quiet
as little Cinna...
Son of a bitch, she's gone!
I don't know! She didn't leave a note!
You were the one who was supposed
to put her back in the stroller!
No, I wasn't! You were!
- No, I wasn't! - Yes, you were!
Yeah, well, you throw like a girl!
I'm getting worried.
Relax, Sheldon, he's only a few minutes late.
别紧张 谢尔顿 他就晚到几分钟而已
Professor Proton was never late when he was on TV.
You know, every day, 4:00, he was there.
Unless tornadoes were ripping apart East Texas,
in which case, we'd join him in progress.
All right, we can come get you.
Yeah, well, see you soon.
- Bye. - Where is he?
The third floor landing.
The poor old guy's been walking up the stairs for half an hour.
Mr. Jeffries, I am so sorry.
We should've told you about the broken elevator.
Professor Proton, it's an honor to meet you.
Just-just call me Arthur.
Professor Proton said I should call him Arthur.
That means we're friends.
A friend would've-would've told me about the elevator.
I can get as close to you as I want
without my mom saying it's going to ruin my eyes.
Is, uh, is he dangerous?
Actually, he's a genius.
Th-That doesn't answer my question.
Mr. Jeffries, I'm-I'm Leonard.
This is my girlfriend, Penny.
Well, I hope I haven't kept
the kids waiting too long for-for the show.
Oh, no, there are no kids.
No, the-the show's for me.
Come on. I'll race ya...
Is the, is the blonde girl really your-your girlfriend?
So, do you do a lot of appearances like this?
I'm-I'm still trying to figure out what...
what-what this is.
We just wanted to hang out with you
and maybe learn a little about your life.
Well, there-there really isn't too much to tell.
After the TV show was-was canceled,
nobody in the scientific world
would, uh, would take me seriously.
So I was forced to do these,
uh, children's parties to-to make a living.
But still, working with kids-- it must be rewarding.
You-you get bit a lot.
Let me see if-if I have this straight.
You-you two are-are physicists,
and-and you, and you want me
to do a children's... science show?
And if there's time,
take 12 pictures with us in seasonal clothing.
You know, I'm a real scientist.
I-I have a PhD from Cornell University.
Did you bring your puppet?
I-I hate that puppet.
How could anybody hate
Gino the Neutrino?
I got him for 20 bucks on eBay.
I'm... I'm awake, right?
Th-This is happening?
You know, maybe she doesn't recognize her name
because of Raj's accent.
Cinnamon, come to Daddy!
Where are you, my little lamb chop?
- Nice. - Thanks.
When this all blows over, remember that voice.
It's kind of a turn-on.
It turns you on when I sound like Raj?
Okay, as-as I put the egg on top,
and-and the flame goes out
and-and the air pressure decreases in-in the flask,
what do you think will happen?
It's gonna get sucked in.
It's going to get sucked in.
Okay, I didn't know.
See, I'm not a scientist like them.
I-I figured that out.
Uh, potato clock. Do potato clock.
I-I power a clock with a, with a potato.
wouldn't that solve the world's energy crisis?
keep your money. I-I think, uh...
I-I think I'm done.
Is she upsetting you?
Because I can make her go away.
No, sh-she's the only reason I've-I've stayed this long.
I think I'm just...
I-I just, I just don't want to be
Professor Proton anymore.
Well, how can you say that?
Professor Proton's the best.
What-what has it ever gotten me?
I mean, I'm-I'm an 83-year-old man who has...
potatoes in-in his suitcase.
Other scientists think-think I'm a joke.
the puppeteer who did, who did Gino...
I need to show you something.
I'm sorry to hear about your troubles.
But if you don't mind me asking,
the potato clock, how does it work?
Is it a trick clock or a trick potato?
Wh-What do you two talk about?
I wrote a fan letter to you when I was a child in Texas,
and you sent this autographed picture back to me.
Do you remember that?
I'll-I'll give you a hint:
I have a bracelet with my own address on it.
you may find this hard to believe,
but I didn't have any friends growing up.
But, um, I did have you.
And every day at 4:00,
you'd come to my house on Channel 68,
and we'd do science together.
If it hadn't been for you,
well, who knows what would've become of me?
You know? Instead of a world-class physicist,
I could've wound up as a-a hobo.
I bet there are important discoveries being made every day
because you inspired millions of kids to pursue science.
In a way, their discoveries are your discoveries.
A generation of young scientists
are standing on your shoulders.
Well, thank-thank you, guys.
That... that-that means a lot.
Well, it's important you know how much you mean to us.
Arthur, are you okay?
problem with my pacemaker.
I'll-I'll call for help.
Any chance we could plug it into the potato?
What do you mean, you found my dog?
She's with my friends.
Uh, just text me your address; I'm on my way.
Oh, and if she's hungry, go ahead and feed her.
But do not give her anything starchy.
She's having risotto for dinner.
Your vitals are stable,
but let's take you in for some tests just to be safe.
You want one of us to go with you in the ambulance?
He's not a relative, he's not allowed, right?
他不是亲属 不能让他陪同 对吧
No, that's not a rule. He can go.
I can't catch a break today.
We'll pack up your stuff and meet you at the hospital.
I'm sorry things turned out this way.
Well, at-at this point, I'm just...
glad someone's carrying me down the stairs.
Met my childhood hero,
now I get to ride in an ambulance.
Boy, if we can get him to do that calendar,
this'll be the best day ever.
Can't believe we lost her.
What was I thinking?
I'd be a terrible mom.
Well, maybe with the first one.
But kids are like pancakes.
The first one's always a throwaway.
- How's this look? - It's fine.
Where'd you get that picture of her?
I just Googled "Foo-foo little dogs."
It's Raj. Stay quiet.
Bernadette just took Cinnamon out for a walk.
Did they take a walk down Liars' Lane?
A lane frequented by liars.
Like you, you big liar!
Oh, thank God she's okay.
Well, I trusted you, and you let me down.
The poor thing's been shaking for hours.
Hang on, you've had her for hours?
Yes. I picked her up,
and then we both went for massages to try and calm down.
And then we got Pinkberry.
So you knew she was okay,
and you couldn't pick up the phone to tell us?
Well, I-I thought about...
Don't "well" me, mister!
We've been worried sick!
She could have been dead for all we knew!
You should be ashamed of yourself!
Sorry. I-I just...
Sorry's not good enough!
Maybe you need to take some time
and think about what you've done!
Nice guilt trip.
You are gonna be an amazing mom.
* Soft kitty, warm kitty, *
* 软软猫 暖暖猫 *
* little ball of fur. *
* 小小毛绒球 *
* Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, *
* 快乐猫 瞌睡猫 *
* purr, purr, purr. *
* 呼噜呼噜呼噜 *
Thank you, Sheldon.
That-that was very nice.
- Want me to sing it again? - No.
The fourth, the fourth time was-was the charm.
唱了四遍 四角俱全 很吉利了
There anything I can get for you?
No. No, thank you.
I do have a favor to-to ask.
Well, I'm-I'm booked to do
a children's party tomorrow,
and, um, frankly I, you know, I-I don't feel up to it.
I mean, you know my act better than... anybody.
maybe you'd fill in for me.
Wha... Are you saying
that you want me to be Professor Proton?
Oh, this is like being asked to ascend Mount Olympus
and dine with the gods.
Or a... Korean family in Alhambra.
But they'll know I'm not you.
Should I call myself...
Professor Proton, Jr.?
it's like I'm your son.
Sure, what the hell?