I got you a little souvenir from my trip to space.
Well, Howard, that's very nice of you.
Yeah, maybe. Open it first.
It's my official NASA portrait.
"To Stuart, your comic book store is out of this world.
Just like the guy in this picture was."
For the record, he also thinks the Walgreens
and the dry cleaners are out of this world.
I was "over the moon" for their store-brand antacids.
Stuart, I see you're getting ready for your Halloween party.
Yeah, it's my annual attempt to meet women.
Ninth time's the charm.
Would you like me to help?
I do have a certain je ne sais quois when it comes to soirees.
Thanks, but I can't afford je ne sais quois.
How much for just quois?
You know, you don't worry about money.
- I'll take care of everything. - Really?
Yeah, you'll love it. Ain't no party like a Koothra-party.
对啊 库萨"派"里 顾名思义就是办派对之王啊
But you know what wasn't a party?
That hotel in Kazakhstan
they put you up in before the launch.
I mean, it's your last night on Earth.
You'd think you'd get one porn channel.
Have you noticed that Howard can take any topic
and use it to remind you that he went to space?
Let's apply the scientific method,
-perform an experiment. -Okay.
Hey, Howard, any thoughts on where we should get dinner?
Anywhere but the Space Station.
On a good day, dinner was a bag full of meat loaf.
But, hey, you don't go there for the food,
you go there for the view.
Let me see if I can duplicate the result.
Howard, I've always thought
the lemon was an underrated fruit.
You know, people say the Soyuz capsule was a lemon.
But, hey, that baby got me to space and back.
Ladies night at the Cheesecake Factory.
Does it get any better than this?
Do you think your husband's fondness for turtlenecks
is an expression of longing for his missing foreskin?
It's not getting any better.
He wants to go costume shopping later.
- I thought you liked Halloween. - I do, it's just
he wants to go to that party at the comic book store.
A lot of the guys that hang out there are kind of creepy.
- Like my husband? - And my boyfriend?
I'm, I'm sorry, Amy.
You were saying something about Howard's foreskin?
Nice try, but you have to go to that party
- 'cause we're going. - Yeah, I'm gonna go.
It's just not my idea of a good time.
Leonard does thing he doesn't like to make you happy.
Yeah, he's my boyfriend. Isn't that, like, his job?
Then what's your job?
Letting him make me happy.
I just think in relationships
you get back what you put into them.
That's not always true.
Last night I gave Sheldon my best come-hither look,
and he responded by explaining how
wheat came to be cultivated.
I guess I could probably try a little harder.
You could start by taking an interest in his work.
- Yeah, that's kind of a problem. - Why?
Not really clear on what he does.
He's an experimental physicist.
Yeah, I'm not really clear on what that means.
He takes hypotheses and designs protocols
to determine their accuracy.
Yeah, you're really just making it worse.
What kind of tea would you like?
I think I'm gonna try green tea mixed with lemon zinger.
Two tea bags in one cup?
You're not at a rave.
So, listen, Sheldon, I was thinking,
since this is gonna be our first
Halloween party as boyfriend and girlfriend,
I thought it might be fun for us to go in a couples costume.
I couldn't agree more.
Really? I find that inconsistent
with everything I know about you.
Oh, oh, on the contrary.
Couples costumes are one of the few benefits
of being in a relationship.
you and I entering Stuart's party
and all eyes turn to see America's most beloved
- and glamorous couple. - Yeah?
R2-D2 and C-3PO!
Sheldon, when I said couples costume,
I meant like Romeo and Juliet
or Cinderella and Prince Charming,
from some silly movie I don't even like.
I'm gonna let that slide
because I know you're hopped up on tea bags.
I make compromises for you all the time.
can't we find something that we're both happy with?
Fine. How about one of the most beguiling
and influential couples of the 20th century?
Hewlett and Packard.
What, you want to be Hewlett?
Hey-hey-hey, what are you doing here?
I just thought I'd stop by and say hello.
Oh, what a nice surprise.
I don't think you've ever seen my lab before.
No, I know. It's long overdue.
So, what ya doing?
Better not be building a robot girlfriend.
Although Howard was making some real strides
in that area until he met Bernadette.
- What? You're kidding. - Nope.
-什么 你在开玩笑吧 -没有
Now the Lisatronic 3000 just sits in a box
waiting for the phone to ring.
Ooh! What's going on in here?
Oh, no, no, no, don't look in there.
What, is it secret?
No, it's a nitrogen laser.
It'll cook your eyeball like a soft-boiled egg.
Oh. You might want to put a sign on it.
Ah. "Danger," sure, sure.
"危险" 没错 没错
Yeah. What's, what's that?
Uh, that is an integrated ion trap
and time-of-flight mass spectrometer.
What's this little box?
That is a pencil sharpener.
So, what are you working on right now?
- It's actually pretty neat. - Yeah?
Yeah. It's a front-projected holographic display
combined with laser-based finger tracking.
Here, I'll show you.
We'll just put this pencil over here.
Sharp. Thanks to the machine we saw earlier.
And then a laser will map the reflective surface...
Wow. That is amazing.
You know, there's a foundational idea in string theory
that the whole universe may be a hologram.
Well, the holographic principle suggests that
what we all experience every day in three dimensions
may really just be information
on a surface located
at the farthest reaches of our cosmos.
So it's possible that our lives are
really just acting out a painting
on the largest canvas in the universe.
Sometimes I forget how smart you are.
You should visit more often.
Take off your clothes.
What? Here? Now?
- Yeah. You got a problem with that? - No, no.
-对 你有意见吗 -没有没有
It's kind of crazy.
I've never fooled around in the lab before.
- Really? Never? - No.
I did have a shot with the Lisatronic,
but the extension cord wasn't long enough.
Before I forget, I'd like your opinion on the menus
I've prepared for the Halloween party.
The theme is "Food that goes bump in the night."
"Creature from the Black Forest Ham Lagoon."
On Sesame seed Bunzillas.
"Night of the Living Garlic Bread"?
It's funny because "bread" sounds like "dead."
I'm sorry, but these are just ordinary foods
with the names bent into tortured puns.
The dishes themselves are in no way Halloweenie.
That's a good one.
They'll pair nicely with my "Draculoni and Cheese."
That reminds me, I was thinking about
wearing my NASA jumpsuit as a costume.
But then I realized everyone would be, like,
"Where's your costume?
Why are you wearing your work clothes, you nut?"
What are you smiling at?
You know where's there's a lot of nothing.
Boy, it's nice to sleep in a bed with gravity again.
Did I tell you about the night my retainer floated out
of my mouth and into the air lock?
Yeah, you mentioned it once or twice.
just a couple of young newlyweds.
What to do to you?
对 你 做 点 什 么 好
Astronaut Wolowitz, reporting for booty.
We have liftoff.
Are we clear to jettison that nightgown?
Okay, we need to talk.
Howie, I know you went to space.
I'm incredibly proud of you.
But you might want to try
and not bring it up every minute.
I don't talk about it every minute.
Tonight at dinner you went on about it for an hour straight.
What was I supposed to talk about?
We were eating at Johnny Rockets.
I'm just saying, people are getting a little tired of it.
So, I did this amazing thing
and I'm never allowed to mention it?
Of course you can.
But maybe a good rule would be
to wait for people to bring it up.
It won't happen again.
I can't tell you how many times I dreamed
I was in bed here with you when I was...
What, I can't even point?
So, basically, this is what's called maglev technology.
It uses very powerful electromagnets
to create a force strong enough to overcome gravity.
Here, you hold this.
- Whoa! That's heavy. - Yeah.
Oh, uh, you don't have on any jewelry, do you?
A grad student forgot to take out one of his piercings.
Now he's on a transplant list
waiting for a nipple his size.
Sometimes I like to turn this on
and pretend I'm the super villain Magneto.
It's getting a little less cool, Leonard.
But what I really am is a very smart scientist
who understands the mechanics of the universe
and is wearing the sexy black underwear you bought him.
So, I thought the photo booth for the party
could either be creepy like a mummy's tomb,
or they also have the Tardis from Doctor Who.
A Tardis makes no sense.
It's a time machine from a science-fiction show.
It has nothing to do with Halloween.
That being said, if you don't get a Tardis,
you stink and your party stinks.
Do you have a preference?
I don't care. Get the Tardis.
Yes! This party just became a major rager.
Oh, by the way, can I borrow your bullwhip and fedora?
Yeah, sure, whatever.
I was thinking of dressing up as
Indiana Jones' mocha-skinned love child.
What's wrong with you?
Oh, Howard, I've got a party to plan.
Don't make me pull it out of you.
Bernadette said you guys are all sick of me
talking about my trip to space.
We seem to have different approaches here.
I was going for helpful honesty.
I have no idea what you're doing.
It's called being nice.
Okay. If you think being nice
will get him to shut up, I'll try it.
You know what, guys? Never mind.
I just won't talk about the greatest achievement
of my life ever again.
Look at that, the problem solved itself.
What if we were to go
as dinner table favorites salt and pepper?
You know salt makes me retain water
and my cousin William was ground to death in a pepper factory accident.
How about Raggedy Ann and Andy?
I loved them growing up.
No, I don't think so.
Those dolls represent three things I do not care for:
clowns, children and raggediness.
- I think it's a lost cause. - No.
There are certain things that say to the world,
"I have a boyfriend, and he's not made up."
hickeys and sex tapes.
Uh-oh, is someone a little blue?
Come on, Howie, that's like the funniest thing
拜托 华仔 这可是我这辈子说过
I've ever said in my life.
What do you say? You ready to go?
To tell you the truth, I'm not really in the mood.
What are you talking about? It'll be fun.
All your friends'll be there.
Yeah, some friends. They all think I'm boring.
是 所谓的朋友 他们都觉得我很无趣
Maybe you should go without me.
No, if I'm there alone, people might think
不 如果我一个人去 人家会以为
I'm just a really short person from Avatar.
I'm sorry. I just don't want to go.
Hey, I just spent the last three hours coloring myself blue.
I'm gonna be washing paint out of my Smurf for a month!
Two weeks ago I was an astronaut.
Yeah, well, now you're a Smurf. Keep walking.
好啦 你现在是蓝精灵 快走
Oh, my God, you guys look adorable!
Thanks, so do you.
Slutty cop only came with a skirt and two badges.
And Albert Einstein?
Ja, und later she's going to arrest me
for goink fashter zen da shpeed of light.
I thought we said in the car, no accents?
It's a great party!
The monster foods, they're really fun.
Oh, yes, thank you.
I like to think of fun things like that because I'm fun.
I'm not clinically depressed at all.
Sheldon, get in here!
I should've picked hickey.
Hey, hey, look at you guys!
I'm Raggedy Ann, and he's Raggedy C-3PO.
It was a compromise. I lost.
Can you believe Stuart's walking around
taking credit for this party?
What do you mean "Who cares"?
Look at what I pulled off here.
The deejay's on fire,
there's a Tardis photo booth in the back room,
and, oh, my God, the food!
Stuart wanted Kraft Draculoni and cheese.
You're right, the party's fantastic.
Please, tell me more.
I haven't heard enough about it all week
because hearing about that never gets old!
Is this about the space thing again?
Well, I'm not allowed to talk about it,
but since you brought it up, I went to space!
Space, space, space! Space, space, space!
太空 太空 太空 我上过太空
Whoa, Drinky Smurf.
Can I talk to you for a second?
Great, now I'm in trouble.
You are being very rude!
No, I'm not. They're all being rude.
And you're being rude.
Me? What did I do?
Stop talking about space so much.
I don't sound like that.
You're supposed to be on my side.
I'm always on your side.
Then why are you trying to take this away from me?
Being an astronaut is
the coolest thing I'm ever gonna do.
If I stop talking about it, then I'm just...
Just plain old Howard Wolowitz again.
Plain old Howard Wolowitz is the best guy I know.
You're just saying that.
No, I'm not. I married him.
Nothing to see here.
Just sexy police business.
Just explaining the theory of relativity.
Hey, what you watching?
Raj sent me some video of Buzz Aldrin.
Here you go. It's a Milky Way.
The Milky Way's a galaxy in space.
I've been in space.
Here's a Mars bar.
And this one's a Moon Pie.
I walked on the Moon.
What have you done?