Sheldon, it's not a great time!
Hello to you, too.
I'm sorry, but this is important.
Back to the Future II was
in the Back to the Future III case...
and Back to the Future III was-- get this--
in the Back to the Future II case.
So, did you do that,
or am I in the house with an intruder?
Sheldon, I got to go inside.
It's getting rough out here.
You're dodging the question;
I knew it was you.
This isn't a very good connection,
but it sounded like someone just released a kraken.
Okay, I'm hanging up now.
You know there's no such thing as a...
Um... well, I was worried
that you might be missing Leonard.
And that might be causing you to have bad dreams,
like the kind you'd get if you watched
Clash of the Titans right before you went to bed.
Sweetie, did you have a bad dream?
To be honest, I did.
Back to the Future II was
in the Back to the Future III case.
Perhaps I should sleep here
so you don't miss Leonard as much,
uh, 'cause you're being kind of a baby about it.
You know what? That would make me feel better.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
I think you'd be pleased to hear
that this morning in the parking garage,
I saw this oil stain on the ground
that was shaped just like my ex-girlfriend, Lucy,
and I didn't get upset at all.
I'm proud of you.
Well, you should be, 'cause she was looking good.
Dear Lord! You're an astronomer.
Although you may have earthly woes,
get your mind back on the stars.
Gee, even the lowly dung beetle
chooses to plot its course by using the Milky Way.
Everything I say is true.
Now, of course, the dung beetle also enjoys
eating feces, living in feces
and making little balls out of feces.
which aspects of its lifestyle you want to embrace.
Come on, you can talk to girls now.
It shouldn't be hard for you to meet someone new.
How can I meet someone new
when everywhere I look, I see Lucy's face?
Tell me you don't see her smile
in the crust of this chicken pot pie.
Oh, will you stop it!
There's a welcome party for incoming post-docs tonight.
Go to it and meet someone
who isn't made of grease or pie.
You think you're so cool because your wife is a person?
Bernie's at a neuroscience conference with Amy--
- You would do that for me? - Of course.
I want you to be happy.
- Thanks. - Oh, Sheldon,
since Amy's out of town, would you like to join us?
I want you to be happy, too,
but not enough to do anything about it.
I can't talk like that.
Sheldon, stop. For the last time,
I will not bring home bed bugs.
There's a pool, a gym--
the bar looks like fun.
Because I looked in the bed, and there are no bugs.
Aw, I love you, too.
If I don't talk to you before you go to sleep,
I'll meet you in dreamland.
No, I will not consider sleeping in my garment bag.
Penny, did you ever wonder how Starfleet captains...
佩妮 你好奇过 星际舰队战舰指挥官们...
Well, now that I've piqued your interest,
welcome to the exciting world of 3D chess.
Why don't you just admit
you only want to play this game
because you always play it with Leonard
You overestimate his significance in my life.
Do I miss how he makes a face
on my toaster waffle with syrup?
he fixes the zipper on my jacket when it gets stuck?
Do I miss how we say "good night"
to each other through the walls of our bedroom
using Morse code?
Okay, I get it, I get it.
好了 我懂了 我懂了
You are an emotionless robot.
All right, let's just get this stupid game over with.
- Great. I'll go first. - Okay.
-好的 我先走 -行
By the way, how are you with zippers?
Well, I really need to go to the bathroom,
and this one's gone all cattywampus.
Wow, your work on jellyfish neural nets
sounds so interesting.
You can download my paper off the university server.
I will. You can download my paper
on the Van Allen Belts from the university server as well.
Well, if you like dry, factual statements
interspersed with painful moments of silence,
it was bananas.
Mrs. Davis from Human Resources is here.
She's probably on the lookout for sexual harassment.
There go my chances of being sexually harassed.
I heard her husband left her for a hot, young undergrad.
That's so much better than the old, ugly ones.
Mrs. Davis, nice to see you.
You know, I recently read a fascinating article
on infidelity among penguins.
So if the fact that your husband left you
makes you feel unattractive, just remember,
penguins get cheated on, and they're adorable.
It was better when you couldn't talk to women.
I was thinking of going to the lecture
on posterior cingulate cortex lesions
in the formation of autobiographical memory.
Oh, brain lesions are fascinating.
Unless they're yours, then they're a drag.
To the advancement of science.
And to the sick and dying who make it possible.
This is fun; we never really get to talk shop
with Penny around.
We usually just end up talking about boys.
Which is fine, but it's nice to mix it up
with a little intellectual conversation.
From the two gentlemen at the bar.
Oh, my gosh, boys bought us drinks!
Boys bought us drinks!
Thank you, thank you, thank you so much.
谢谢 谢谢 太谢谢了
- Be cool. - You be cool!
Guys are hitting on us, and not just to get to Penny.
My queen can now take your rook from below.
So that means I lose, right?
If I make this move...
but I won't because we're having too much fun.
Okay, let's take a break.
We're all out of alcohol.
I wasn't going to get alcohol.
Gosh, I wonder what Leonard's doing right now.
Well, if you'd like,
we could call him.
I-I mean that you could call him.
the absence of my friends does not cause me pain.
As rock and roll bad boy, Paul Simon, once said,
I am an I-I-I-island."
Oh, goodie! Put him on speakerphone!
Excuse me, ladies,
but my pants are buzzing.
North Sea, how can I "Kelp" You?
Everybody say hi to Penny.
Wow, it sounds like you're having a good time.
Best time of my life!
Isn't it 5:30 in the morning there?
Hey, everybody, it's 5:30 in the morning!
okay, well, we were just calling you
because we were missing you.
- Iceberg! - Uh-oh, hang on.
Are you in danger?
No, it's a drinking game.
Whenever we see an iceberg, we take a shot!
Berg! Berg! Berg! Berg--
冰山 冰山 冰山 冰山
I cannot believe we were missing that jerk.
So what happened? How'd it go?
It's fine. I thanked them again
and let them know we're not available.
So I can drink this without having
to give up the goodies?
Yes, it's all cool.
Although, if you wanted to talk to one of them,
no one would blame you.
And why would no one blame me?
I don't know what I'm saying.
Well, it sounds like you're saying
that I could do better than Sheldon.
Boy, these drinks are strong!
Hoo, mama, I'm gonna be hug in the toilet tonight!
I want to know what you meant by that.
I just meant that you're not married
and your boyfriend's kind of...
And your husband is extremely Howard.
What's your point?
Sorry. I have no point.
That was a stupid thing to say.
Can we please just go back to having a nice time?
We could, but unfortunately my brain is lesion-free
and I remember that rotten thing
you just said about my sweet baboo.
Come on. I apologize.
Can we please just let it go?
- Sure. - Thanks.
Your husband's weird and his clothes are ridiculous.
I can't believe it!
All this time I've been doing nothing
but sit around and miss that guy.
And you know what the worst part is?
That you're having to process
your emotional pain without vodka?
But you know what the second-worst part is?
He does not miss me at all.
Allow me to comfort you.
At least you've got your health.
Really? Tha-That's it? That's comforting?
不是吧 就这样 这也叫安慰人呀
Um, uh, in a hundred years,
you'll both be dead and it won't matter?
You're supposed to say, "Of course he misses you.
The only reason he's partying is to cover up his pain."
Oh, no, I don't think that's true at all.
This is ridiculous.
Why am I upset just because he's off having a good time?
Well... perhaps you're obsessively picturing him
engaged in drunken coitus with another woman.
Is that it? Did I get it right?
Okay, tha-that's great.
You can stop trying to make me feel better now.
Before Leonard left,
he made me promise that I'd take care of you.
- He did? - Yes.
Oh, that's really sweet.
Plus, if I do a good job,
he said he'd bring me back a sailor's cap.
Now I miss him even more.
Well, if it's any consolation,
I'm sure Leonard's tormented every moment
he's away from your warm embrace and cherry lips.
Uh, excuse me, Mrs. Davis?
I'd like to apologize for being insensitive.
And for possibly making penguins seem like jerks,
'cause 99% of them are stand-up guys.
You know, you-you and I,
you and I have a lot in common.
Oh, yes, I-I, too,
am in the throes of heartbreak.
Okay, fine, I'll tell you about it.
Here is a hot beverage to comfort you.
It's in a to-go cup.
Make of that what you will.
Come on. It's still early.
Let's do something.
Well, I have been toying around with an idea for 4-D chess.
How about we just talk?
- In 4-D chess... - No.
Come on, let's talk about our lives.
Tell me something about you I don't know.
I own nine pairs of pants.
Okay, that-that's a good start,
but I was thinking maybe something a little more personal.
I own nine pairs of underpants.
How about I go first?
But I don't want to know how many underpants you own.
Although, based on the floor of your bedroom,
I'd say it's a thousand.
Okay, look, here's something people do not know about me.
When I first moved out to L.A.,
I did a topless scene in a low-budget horror movie
about a killer gorilla.
After I did it, I felt so ashamed.
Thankfully, that thing never came out.
Yeah. Serial Apeist.
Howard found it online the day we met you.
And it was literally the moment you walked out the door.
But I see the type of personal revelations you're going for.
Okay, here's one I thought I'd take to the grave.
YouTube changed its user interface
from a star-based rating system
to a thumbs-up rating system.
I tell people I'm okay with it,
but I'm really not.
That's your big revelation?
I feel ten pounds lighter.
Okay, you know what?
Here's something else you don't know about me:
you just hurt my feelings.
I opened up and shared something
deeply upsetting to me,
and you treated it as if it were nothing.
I-I didn't think it was a big deal.
It is to me; that's the point.
Sheldon, you are right.
I'm really sorry.
I should've known better.
Your apology is accepted.
- How about a hearty handshake? - Come on.
Now I know how you felt getting mauled
by that sex-crazed gorilla.
It was rather flattering to have strangers send us drinks.
Yeah, that felt nice.
Maybe tomorrow morning we put on some hot pants
and see if we can score us some free omelets.
So, hypothetically, if-if we were to have gone with them,
which one would you have picked?
I think I would have gone with
the short one with the goofy haircut.
Oh, good, 'cause I liked the tall thin one.
He seemed intelligent, kind of a loner,
maybe a little sexually inexperienced,
like I'd have to teach him a thing or two.
I caught him staring at my rack.
It'd be nice to be with a man
who wants to know what's underneath my cardigan.
FYI, it's another cardigan.
Your short sexed-up guy kind of sounds like Howard.
Your brainy virgin kind of sounds like Sheldon.
- Good night. - Night.
All right, Dr. Koothrappali,
it's been nice talking to you,
but I need to go home and relieve my babysitter.
Yeah, I can relate to being a single parent.
Yeah, it's exactly the same thing.
I, uh, I must confess,
I came here tonight in a futile attempt
to pick up some lonely postdoc,
but instead I got to connect with you at a human level.
That's a much better evening.
You're a lovely person.
Are you hitting on me?
No, no, no, that would be crazy!
不 不 那样太扯了
I mean, if I were hitting on you, you'd know it
'cause you'd feel uncomfortable and a little sad for me.
Good night, Dr. Koothrappali.
Looks like she accepted your apology.
I think we had a moment.
Oh, please, you did not have a moment.
Who died and made you king of moments?
Okay, fine. Let's say there was a moment.
- There was. - There wasn't.
But... But even if there was,
what are you gonna do about it?
I will slowly seduce her
until she falls helpless into my bed,
hungry for the pleasure only I can give her.
- So nothing. - No, not a thing.
-所以就是没啥 -对 没啥
I'm so glad the police finally caught
that psychotic genetically engineered ape.
That is my girlfriend! I swear to God!
Leonard! Leonard! Leonard! Leonard!
莱纳德 莱纳德 好样的