生活大爆炸 第七季 The Big Bang Theory Season 7 第23集: 大猩猩的溶解 The Gorilla Dissolution

上映日期: 2,013

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧

导演: 马克·森卓斯基

演员: 约翰尼·盖尔克奇 / 吉姆·帕森斯 / 凯莉·库柯 / 西蒙·赫尔伯格 / 昆瑙·内亚 / 马伊姆·拜力克 / 梅丽莎·劳奇 / 威尔·惠顿 / 凯文·苏斯曼 / 克里斯汀·芭伦斯基


台词
Almost there. You're doing great.
快到了 你们做得很好
Thanks for lifting my spirits.
感谢你的支持
Next time, try lifting the box.
下次能出力"支持"一下盒子吗
快点搬行吗
I don't need a treadmill!
我不需要用跑步机
The doctor says you need to get exercise!
医生说你需要运动
I get plenty of exercise!
我平常已经运动够多了
Crushing my will to live isn't exercise!
摧毁我的生存意志不算运动
If she isn't gonna use it, then why are we doing this?
如果她不打算用 我们辛苦搬这个干嘛
She'll use it.
她会用的
All I need is to rig it
我只需在机器前装根鱼干
with a fishing pole and a HoneyBaked Ham.
绑上蜜汁火腿就行
All right.
好了
Now what?
下一步干嘛
We set it up in Howie's old room.
把它搬进华仔旧房间里组装
Do you know how to set it up?
你知道怎么组装吗
Please, I'm an MIT-trained engineer.
拜托 我可是麻省理工的工程师
I think I can handle...
区区一台跑步机...
Ma, look out!
妈 小心
I told you this thing would kill me!
我就说这玩意会搞死我
第七季 第二十三集
So she's gonna be laid up for at least six weeks.
她得卧床足足六周以上
Poor Mrs. Wolowitz.
沃洛维茨太太真可怜
Should we do something for her?
我们该为她做点什么吗
I know.
我知道做啥
Let's go see the new Spider-Man movie.
咱们去看新出的《蜘蛛侠2》吧
Sheldon, we're talking about your friend's mother.
谢尔顿 那可是你好友的母亲
She got hurt.
她受伤了
I thought that subject had run its course,
我还以为那个话题聊够了
so I changed it.
所以我换个话题
It's called reading the room, Amy.
这叫眼力见儿 艾米
Hi.
大家好啊
Hey, how were things on the set?
今天拍片还顺利吗
Uh, pretty good, actually.
挺顺利的其实
So the movie's not as bad as you thought?
所以那电影其实没你想象中那么烂吗
Oh, no, it is,
真就那么烂
but I decided, instead of complaining about it,
但我决定 与其每天抱怨个不停
I'm just gonna go in every day and give it my all.
不如卯足全力去做好它
- Good for you. - Thanks.
-佩服佩服 -客气客气
There's no reason why I shouldn't be
在慢慢转化成杀人恶猿的
the best bisexual go-go dancer slowly transforming
史上最炫酷的双性恋热场舞者界中
into a killer gorilla anyone's ever seen.
我没理由当不了业界之王啊
I don't know.
那可不好说
The bisexual gorilla go-go dancer in Schindler's List
《辛德勒名单》里的双性恋热场舞者杀人猿
is tough to beat.
很难演赢他啊
Ah, very good.
这笑话好笑
Because a gorilla go-go dancer of any sexual preference
因为任何性取向的热场舞者杀人恶猿
would be out of place in a film about the Holocaust.
在跟纳粹大屠杀有关的电影中都会很突兀
It only gets funnier when you explain it, Sheldon.
谢尔顿 你解释出来 笑点"加倍"啊
I know.
我知道
Okay, she's all settled in the guest room.
我把她在客房里安顿好了
Maybe we should get one of those machines
我们是不是该买一台那种
to help her up the stairs.
能帮忙她上楼梯的机械
You mean a forklift?
你是指叉车吗
- Howie... - I'm sorry.
-华仔 -对不起
I just can't deal with this right now.
小华子真心做不到啊
Taking care of your own mother? How can you say that?
照顾你亲妈吗 你怎么能说这种话
Bernie, she's gonna be off her feet for six to eight weeks.
妮妮 她接下来六到八周会不便于行
Are you prepared to feed her, wash her
你准备好喂食她 帮她洗澡
and take her to the toilet?
带她上厕所了吗
- I would do it for my mother. - Yeah, of course you would--
-我愿意这么照顾我妈啊 -你当然会啦
you're a loving person.
你是有爱心的人
I'm what my people would call a putz.
我就是犹太人称为"贱精"的那种人
Look, I'm not crazy about the idea,
我也并不是很期待做那些事
but what other choice do we have?
只是我们还有别的选择吗
We get a nurse.
我们可以请个看护啊
Preferably someone from a Third World country
最好是个来自第三世界国家的看护
who's used to suffering and unpleasant smells.
因为他们习惯了受折磨与闻臭味
You'd hire a total stranger
你会请个陌生人
to take care of the woman who raised you?
来照顾抚养你长大的那个女人吗
That's so cruel.
太没人性了吧
Not if we pay them well
如果我们多付点钱
and let them listen to the music of their homeland.
再让他们听家乡的音乐就不会太没人性啦
I need to tinkle!
我想要嘘嘘
Sounds like a job for a loving person.
这活儿最合适有爱心的人干啦
Would you like me to play some Polish music
在你扛她去厕所的时候
while you carry her to the toilet?
需要放点波兰音乐吗
美国的看护与家庭清洁业中 有许多是来自波兰的女性
You are a putz.
你果然是个贱精
As advertised.
假一赔十哦
Thanks for coming with me.
谢谢你陪我来
Thanks for inviting me after everyone else said no.
谢谢你在所有人拒绝你后 邀请我来
Aren't you gonna get 3-D glasses?
你不拿付3D眼镜吗
I brought my own.
我自己带了
No sense in risking bridge-of-nose herpes.
我可不想染上鼻梁疱疹
Is that a real thing?
真有这个病吗
Well, until they invent nose condoms,
在有人发明鼻部保险套之前
I'm not finding out.
我不想以"鼻"犯险
Emily! Hey!
艾米丽
Oh, hey, Raj.
拉杰
Uh, this is my friend, Sheldon.
这位是我朋友 谢尔顿
Sheldon, this is Emily.
谢尔顿 她就是艾米丽
Oh, yes, you're the dermatologist.
知道了 你就是那位皮肤科医师
I went for a walk yesterday without sunscreen.
我昨天去散步没有擦防晒霜
Do you see anything on my forehead
我的额头部位有任何
that I should be concerned about?
我该担心的病灶吗
Um, you know what? I better go.
其实我有点赶时间
My movie's about to start.
我的电影要开始了
Are you here alone?
你是自己来的吗
No, not really.
不算吧
What do you mean, "not really"?
什么叫"不算吧"
- Hey, should we get our seats? - Yeah.
-我们进去吧 -好
It was nice seeing you. Um, I'll call you later.
很高兴遇到你 我晚点打给你
Yeah, okay.
好吧
That was awkward, right?
刚才真尴尬 是吧
Is it because she's dating you
尴尬是因为撞见你的妞
but was out with that other fellow?
跟别的男人约会吗
Yes.
是的
Good. I thought she saw something on my forehead.
那就好 我还以为是因为看见我的病灶了呢
And... action.
开拍
Please don't shut me out.
不要将我拒之门外
Go away.
走开
Just go away.
快走开
I swear, I will find a way to turn you back.
我发誓 我一定会想办法把你变回来的
What gave you the right
你凭什么
to mix my DNA with that of a killer gorilla?
把我的DNA混进了杀人恶猿的DNA
I was trying to save your life.
我当时一心只想让你活下去
Life? What life? Look at me! I'm a monster!
活着有何用 你看我 现在就是个怪兽
And now I have blood on my hands, or
我的双手沾满鲜血
paws. I don't know.
或我的双爪 随便啦
You can't give up. I love you.
你不能放弃 我爱你
I love you, too.
我也爱你
But I'm afraid I love killing more.
但恐怕我更爱杀戮
Like, one day, I might actually try and kill you!
或许有一天我会试图...杀了你
And... cut. All right.
停 很好
All right, let's set up for the next scene.
可以准备下一场戏了
Actually, you know what? Can we do one more?
导演 能再拍一次吗
I think I could do it better.
刚才没发挥好
Let's just move on.
就这样吧
- No one cares. - Well, I care.
-没人会介意 -但我会
I mean, look, if we're gonna do this,
我觉得既然要拍
why not try and make it something we're actually proud of?
何不好好拍一部让我们引以为傲的电影
Look, sweetie,
小宝贝
this movie is garbage,
这是部垃圾电影
but you should be happy about that,
但你应该开心
'cause if it was a good movie, you wouldn't be in it.
因为如果这是部好电影 那根本轮不到你来演
Whoa, whoa, hang on.
打住打住
There's no need to insult her.
你没必要羞辱她吧
And who are you?
你是哪位啊
I'm her boyfriend.
我是她的男朋友
Isn't she too hot for you?
不觉得高攀了吗
A little, yeah.
有点吧
Well, boyfriend, get off my set.
好了 男朋友 滚出我的片场
You can't do that. He's with me.
不许 他是来陪我的
You know what? You can get off my set, too.
是吗 那你也可以滚出我的片场了
You're fired.
你被解雇了
What? You can't fire me. I'm the star.
什么 你不能解雇我 我可是主演啊
I'm the girl that goes bananas. It says so on the poster.
我可是"疯妹子" 电影宣传海报上写着呢
Yeah, but we just shot the last scene where we see your face.
但刚才已经拍完了你露脸的最后一场戏
So from now own, the star of the movie is whoever wears this.
所以从现在开始 谁戴这个谁就是主演
Hey, if you're gonna fire her,
如果你要解雇她
then you have to fire me, too.
那我也不干了
Wow, that fell apart really fast.
靠 说炒人就炒人啊
Thanks for skipping the movie.
谢谢你不看电影陪我回来
I couldn't sit in that theater for two hours
我实在没办法静下心看两个小时的电影
wondering about Emily and that guy.
而不去想艾米丽和那个男人
Oh, quite all right.
真的没关系
After my forehead melanoma scare,
我得了额头黑素瘤恐慌症后
I've learned not to sweat the small stuff.
已经学会了不再为小事斤斤计较
Well, sorry,
不好意思
I don't have all the ingredients to make chai tea.
我这里没有做印度拉茶的所有原料
You don't have to make me anything.
你不必为我做什么
No, I do. You're upset about Emily
不行 你在为艾米丽烦恼
and you're Indian.
而且你是印度人
I need to make you chai tea.
我一定要给你做拉茶
Now, I have all the ingredients except cardamom seeds.
我这里其他原料都有 就差豆蔻籽
Do you happen to have any on you?
你会不会碰巧有随身携带吧
Sorry, I left them in my turban.
抱歉 我落在我的印度头巾里了
Oh, I'll make English breakfast tea.
那我只好给你泡英国早餐茶了
They destroyed your culture.
反正他们摧毁了你们的文化
18世纪下半叶 印度曾沦为英国的殖民地
That's close enough.
也算跟印度有点关系吧
You know, I'm curious,
其实我很好奇
why are you so upset about seeing Emily with another man?
你干嘛对艾米丽跟其他男人出去这么不爽
Wouldn't you be upset if you saw Amy out with someone else?
如果艾米跟别的男人外出 你不会觉得不爽吗
Can't happen.
不可能
We have an ironclad relationship agreement
我们的恋爱协议无懈可击
which precludes her from physical contact
里面规定了不许她跟我之外的男人
with anyone other than me.
发生任何身体上的接触
But you don't have sex with her, either.
但你也没跟她上床啊
Slick, huh?
高招吧
To be truthful, Emily and I haven't dated that long,
老实说 我和艾米丽约会的时间不算长
and we never agreed to be exclusive to each other.
我们也还没说好只跟对方处对象
Have you had intercourse?
那你们发生性关系了吗
No.
没有
Well, stick to your guns.
坚持你的立场[收好你的"枪"]
There will be a lot of pressure.
未来的路将会压力山大
I'm hungry again!
我又饿了
It's like the world's fattest cuckoo clock.
她就像全球最肥的咕咕钟
You know, you're always talking about having a baby someday.
你总是希望有天能拥有孩子
This is exactly what it's gonna be like.
但有了孩子就会是这情况啊
No, it's not.
才不会呢
Come on. The constant fussing, eating, pooping,
怎么不会 整天哇哇叫 要吃 要拉
burping, drooling.
打嗝 还流口水
We're even waiting for the day
连她哪天能开始走路
when she can finally walk on her own.
我们都还得慢慢盼着呢
Maybe you're right.
也许你说得对
Anything she finds on the floor goes right in her mouth.
还有在地上发现任何东西 也都直接塞嘴里
I'm just telling you now, if we do have kids,
我只是提前告诉你 如果日后有孩子
don't expect me to do all the work.
别指望老娘一个人干全部的活
Hey, I'm a very paternal person.
我骨子里也是个慈父啊
I'd be excellent at taking care of a baby.
我一定很会照顾小孩
I'm still hungry!
我还饿着呢
I'm coming, you big baby!
来啦 你个死老小孩
You know, the only thing worse than doing a movie
你们知道比拍一部会在屁股上
where they glue monkey hair to your ass
粘满猴子毛的电影还惨的是什么吗
is getting fired from a movie
是被一部会在屁股上
where they glue monkey hair to your ass.
粘满猴子毛的电影给解雇
Forget it, man, it's crap.
算了啦 反正是大烂片
You just move on to the next thing.
迎接下一个角色就好了
Yeah, well, it's easy for you to say.
你当然能说得这么轻巧啦
You used to be famous.
你是过气红星
Hey. I just lost a job for you.
喂 我才刚为你丢了工作呢
You're right, I'm sorry, you're famous.
行 对不起 你是当红影星
Penny, it's not about being famous.
佩妮 跟红不红无关
It's about the art.
重点是为了艺术
It's about the passion we have for our craft.
是为艺术事业献身的热情
I have an audition for Sharknado 2!
《鲨卷风》的续集找我去试镜
搞笑B级大烂片 讲龙卷风卷起鲨鱼袭击城市
If I book this, I am totally gonna pay you back for this beer.
要是我选上了 一定还你啤酒钱
God, what am I doing with my life?
天啊 我到底是在折腾什么啊
You having second thoughts about acting?
怎么 你又不想演戏了吗
You were on set, you saw what it was like.
你也在片场 你也看到啦
Yeah, but it's not always that bad.
话虽如此 但也不是总那么糟糕
Oh, really?
是吗
What about when you did, uh,
还记得你以前
Anne Frank at that cute little theater?
在那个小剧场演《安妮日记》的事吗
It was over a bowling alley.
什么剧场 那是在保龄球场
Yeah, but...
没错 可是
there was ample parking.
停车位还挺足的
Are you done?
你说完了吗
And you were so good in the TV commercial.
你的电视广告也拍得相当赞啊
It was for hemorrhoid cream.
那是支痔疮膏广告
And I got itchy and swollen just watching you.
我光看你演就又痒又肿了
Leonard, you are really not cheering me up.
莱纳德 你这么说我是真心笑不出来
Come on.
别这样
How can you be sad when you're going home
身边有我这种身长168的大帅哥
with all five-foot-six of this?
你怎么能不开心嘛
You think you're five-foot-six, that's funny.
你觉得自己有168 好搞笑
I don't understand it.
我不明白
I'm a nice guy,
我这么好的人
I have a great job,
工作也不错
I'm well-educated,
受过高等教育
come from a good family...
家境优渥
Why don't women want to be with me?
为什么女人就不愿意跟我在一起呢
An interesting question.
这个问题耐人深思
Well...
那么...
good night.
晚安不送
Don't send me home.
别赶我回家
I can't be alone right now.
我现在不想孤身一人
That's your problem.
你的问题就是这个
You can't be alone.
你没办法忍受孤独
What do you mean?
你什么意思
How many women have you had dates with?
你至今为止约会过几个女人
Eleven.
11个
How many of those women
这些女人当中有几个
did you think would become your perfect companion?
你觉得能当你的完美伴侣呢
Eleven.
11个
Wait.
等等
Do I count the 200-pound Sailor Moon girl
在动漫展上与我和霍华德搞3p的
that Howard and I had a threesome with at Comic Con?
180斤美猪女战士可以算吗
Sure.
可以
I'll stick with 11.
还是算11个吧
She liked Howard better.
她比较喜欢霍华德
Well, now do you see the problem?
你看到问题所在了吧
Maybe.
大概吧
I... I don't know.
我搞不懂了
You... It's late, I-I should...
太晚了 我还是...
I should go.
我该走了
Look, I-I do get what you're saying.
我明白你想说什么
Instead of desperately clinging
我不该死命纠缠
to any woman who will go out with me,
每一个愿意和我约会的妹子
I need to work on my fear of being alone.
我要学会面对孤单的恐惧感
I was trying to suggest chemical castration, but...
我本想建议你去做化学阉割的 不过
...it's my bedtime,
人家要睡觉了
so whatever gets you out the door. Good night.
只要你滚 你爱咋想都行 晚安
Howie, I'm back!
华仔 我回来了
Shh-shh-shh, I just got her to sleep.
嘘 我刚哄她睡下
Sorry.
抱歉
What took you so long?
你怎么这么晚才回来
The grocery store is a few blocks away.
杂货店走几条街就到了
They only had regular yogurt.
他们只有普通酸奶卖
I had to go to a different store
我还得去其他商店
to get the extra-fat kind your mom likes.
买你妈爱吃的多脂酸奶
Then why do I smell coffee on your breath?
那我怎么从你嘴里闻到了咖啡味
So what?
那又怎么样
After two days of taking care of her,
精疲力尽地照顾了她两天后
excuse me for stopping to get a mocha.
老娘想去喝个摩卡又怎样
A mocha?
喝摩卡
Well, it must be nice to be queen.
拿自己当皇后娘娘感觉倍儿棒是吧
Queen?
皇后娘娘
I've been killing myself here!
我人都快被折磨死了
Well, whose fault is that?
这都是谁作的孽呢
I wanted to get a nurse, but you were all,
我说要请看护的 你却说
"I'm nice. I want to take care of people."
"伦家人最好了 伦家喜欢照顾人"
I'm glad I got that mocha.
我喝摩卡我自豪
And you know what else I'm glad about?
你知道我还为什么自豪吗
I bought you a brownie and I ate it in the car!
我给你买了巧克力蛋糕 然后在车上吃掉了
Howard!
霍华德
Thanks a lot.
我谢你全家
Now I have to go rub her belly again.
我现在又得去给她揉肚肚了
Thanks for letting me come over.
谢谢你允许我过来
Of course.
没事
Please, come in.
快进来吧
I just wanted to say
我是想来
how sorry I am about tonight, and...
为今晚的事道歉
I want to make sure that we're okay.
我希望你没有生气
Uh, look, you and I haven't made
你我之间并没有
- any commitments to each other. - I know.
-许过任何承诺 -我知道
I just felt like I needed to explain.
我只是觉得自己应该来解释一下
The guy I was with did my last tattoo,
今晚那人是上次帮我纹身的师傅
and he's been asking me out for months.
他这几个月一直约我出去
I finally said yes just to get it over with.
所以我只好答应 好让他别继续烦我
It's okay.
没关系
Really?
真的吗
Well, I mean, yeah, it freaked me out a little,
虽然 这事让我有点惊讶
but that's my issue, not yours.
但这是我的问题 不是你的错
If I saw you out with another woman,
如果是我看到你和别的女人约会
I'd be pretty upset.
我一定伤心死了
Thank you.
谢谢你
Not just for being upset,
不仅是谢你会伤心
but for believing that could happen.
还谢你相信真会有这种事发生
Just so you know, I'm not seeing anyone else.
你要知道 我没有和其他人约会
Well, me, neither.
我也没有
- Okay. - Okay.
-好的 -好的
Please.
请坐
So, uh... you... you have tattoos?
这么说 你有纹身啊
- Yeah. - I don't.
-是的 -我没有
I have a hole in my belly button
我的肚脐上有个洞
that may or may not have been a piercing.
不知道是不是脐环洞
That's cool.
挺酷的
It's a piercing.
是脐环洞
So, uh...
那么
how many tattoos?
你有几处纹身
One on my shoulder,
一个在肩膀上
one not on my shoulder
一个不在肩膀上
and one really not on my shoulder.
还有一个 "真不在肩膀"上
It's, uh...
我已经
been a long time since I've seen a girl's...
很久没有看到一个女生的
really not her shoulder.
"真不是肩膀"的地方
Well...how about you show me your piercing
那么 不如你给我看你的脐环洞
and I show you my tattoos?
我给你看我的纹身
But, uh, before I take my shirt off,
但是 在我脱衣服前
I just need like ten minutes to do some crunches.
给我十分钟时间 做几个仰卧起坐
Oh, my God.
我的天
What a day.
这一天过得
Can I get you anything?
要我帮你拿什么吗
No.
不用
I need to start making some smart decisions.
我得开始做些明智的决定才行
With your career?
你的事业吗
With my life.
我的人生
Like what?
比如说呢
I don't know.
我不知道
We could get married.
我们可以结婚
Come on, be serious.
说真的 别闹了
I am.
我很认真
Why?
为什么
Because I'm a-a "smart decision"?
因为我是"明智的决定"吗
Well, yeah.
是的
So I'm like a bran muffin.
这么说我是麦麸松糕[较为健康]
What...No, that's not what I'm saying.
什么 我不是这个意思
No, it's exactly what you're saying.
不 你就是这个意思
I'm the boring thing you're choosing
你选择我这个无趣的选项
because I'm good for you.
是因为我对你有益
What does it matter?
这有什么关系
The point is, I'm choosing you.
重点是 我选了你
Well, it matters a lot!
太有关系了
I don't want to be a bran muffin.
我不想做麦麸松糕
I-I want to be a...
我要做
Cinnabon, you know?
肉桂卷 懂吗
A strawberry Pop-Tart.
或草莓夹心饼干
Something you're excited about
你想到我就会兴奋
even though it could give you diabetes.
哪怕我会害你得糖尿病
Sweetie, you can be any pastry you want.
亲爱的 你想做任何糕饼点心都行
No, no. No, it's too late.
不不 太迟了
I-I'm your bran muffin.
我是你的麦麸松糕
Probably fat-free and good for your colon.
可能无脂肪 有利于结肠健康
You know what? Forget it.
这样吧 算了
I never should've brought it up.
我就不应该提这事
You know I want to marry you,
你知道我想娶你
but you're only doing this because you got fired
但你现在这样 只是因为你被炒了
and you're feeling sorry for yourself.
你为自己感到难过
Okay, it may look that way, but getting fired from that movie
看起来是这样 但被这部电影炒掉
was the best thing that could have happened to me, okay?
是我这辈子最幸运的一件事
I finally realize I don't need to be famous
我终于意识到 我不需要出名
or have some big career to be happy.
不需要演艺事业腾飞来令我幸福
Then what do you need?
那你需要什么
You, you stupid pop-tart!
你啊 你这个笨夹心饼干
Then I guess I'm in.
那我想我愿意
Really?
你不是吧
You "guess you're in"?
你"想你愿意"
Not like, "I guess I'm in."
不是勉强的"我想我愿意"
Like "I guess... I'm in!"
而是激动的"我想...我愿意"
Okay.
好的
Cool.
So is that it?
就这样吗
Are... are we engaged?
我们订婚了吗
Yeah, I think so.
大概吧
All right.
好的
What's wrong?
怎么啦
I'm not sure.
我不知道
Just... feels a little anticlimactic.
感觉有点虎头蛇尾的
Yeah, it kind of does, huh?
是有点那种感觉
Oh, I know.
我知道了
This might help.
这个也许有帮助
Where did you get a ring?
你在哪里弄的戒指
I've...
had it for a couple years, not important.
已经买了几年了 这不重要
Penny...
佩妮
will you marry me?
你愿意嫁给我吗
Oh, my God, yes.
天啊 我愿意
This would have been so much more romantic
如果你手指上没有猩猩毛
if you didn't have monkey hair on your finger.
这个求婚仪式会浪漫许多
How you feeling?
感觉如何
Last night was a little rough,
昨晚是挺难熬的
but I think we're gonna get through this.
但我想我们能熬过去的
I'm proud of us.
我为咱俩骄傲
Me, too.
我也是
Where's my pancakes?!
我的煎饼呢
Coming, Mrs. Wolowitz!
来了 沃罗威茨夫人
You were right.
你是对的
Welcome to Team Putz.
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