I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
我是谢尔顿·库珀博士
And welcome to Sheldon Cooper Presents: Fun with Flags,
欢迎收看由谢尔顿·库珀出品的《有趣的旗帜》
the Final Episode Flagtacular.
最终集 壮丽的旗帜
I knew it was coming. Still scary.
我知道会有拉炮 还是吓死人家了
Now, I'm sure you're thinking, "The final episode?
我知道你们一定在想"居然最终集了
who will stand between us and flag ignorance"
是谁要害你们变成旗帜盲了"
I know I was thinking that.
像我就有这个想法
Is this a show on flags or mind reading?
这是旗帜节目还是读心节目啊
But the truth is I can no longer balance a full-time career,
但事实上是因为我无法继续兼顾全职工作
a popular Internet show, and a girlfriend.
热门网络节目 以及女朋友了
And he really does have one, you jerks on the comment board.
他是真的有女朋友 你们这些留言的混球们
So as they say, all good things must come to an end.
常言道 天下无不散之筵席
After only 232 episodes.
虽然仅有232集视觉飨宴
233 if we include the one
如果某人有次
somebody forgot to press record on.
没忘了按下录制键 那应该是233集
You said you weren't gonna bring that up.
说好了不提那事儿
And you said you pressed record.
说好了你会按录制键
Anyway, please sit back, relax,
总之 用放松的姿势
and join us as we take our final lap...
跟着我们一起跑完这最后一圈
...as indicated by the waving of this racing flag.
就像这只赛车旗指示的一样
白旗在不同系列车赛中有不同意义有些代表场上有慢速车辆 有些则是最后一圈
And, of course, white flags can also represent surrender,
当然 白旗也代表"举白旗投降"
the Stewards of Gondor, and the Japanese Minamoto clan,
刚铎宰相 日本源氏也都使用白旗
刚铎宰相 《魔戒》中刚铎地区的统治者日本源氏与平家大战时 一家白旗 一家红旗
but I'm sure you remember that from episode 62,
但想必你们肯定还记得这些
"White Flags: Who's Wavin' 'Em and Why"
因为62集"白旗 谁举白旗及缘由"都讲过
That was a good one.
那集超赞
You know, I thought cleaning out a dead professor's office
我本来以为清理过世教授的
was gonna just be boring,
办公室会很无聊
but then I found his dentures
不过在我发现他的假牙后
and realized it's also gross.
我才意识到是无聊加恶心
Doesn't Professor Abbott's family want any of this stuff?
艾伯特教授的家人不想要这些东西吗
I don't think he had a family.
我记得他好像没家人
- That's rough. - I know.
-真惨 -是啊
You can spend your whole life working,
一生都奉献给了工作
and at the end all that's left are some papers in a box.
最后留下的只有盒子里的一些研究资料
Makes you think.
不禁让你思索人生
Hey. Hey, we're supposed to look through all this stuff
我们都得仔细检查过这些东西
before we throw it away in case it's important.
以确保不会扔掉什么重要资料
I-I did. It's all outdated or disproved.
看啦 不是太旧就是被拒[反证]的
I don't know. This old pen kind of proves gravity.
不一定哦 这支旧笔"证明"了重力存在
When I tilt it, her bathing suit falls right off.
翻转过来 小人偶的泳衣就掉下来
Oh, my dad used to have a pen like that.
我爸以前也有一支这样的笔
I dated it all through sixth grade.
我整个六年级都跟它"约会"
It still feels weird
还是感觉很奇怪
just throwing away his work like this.
就这样把这些研究成果都扔掉
Someday, someone will be throwing out your work, too.
未来某天 也会有人来扔你的研究报告
That someone was Sheldon, and the day was yesterday.
那个人就是谢尔顿 而那个某天是昨天
"Dear Roger, to be opened upon your first great discovery.
"亲爱的罗杰 在你获得首次重大发现时开
Wow, look at the date.
瞧瞧这日期
He saved this 50 years and never got to open it.
他留了整整50年 却从没有机会开
Poor Roger Abbott.
可怜的罗杰·艾伯特
Roger Abbott sounds just like Roger Rabbit.
罗杰特听起来像罗杰兔
Roger Abbott, Roger Abbott, Roger Rabbit.
罗杰特 罗杰特 罗杰兔
Oh, my God, Leonard, I know he's dead,
天啊 莱纳德 我知道这对死者不敬
but try it. It's fun!
不过你念念看 超好笑啊
Roger Abbott, Roger Rabbit...
罗杰特 罗杰特 罗杰兔
Oh, my rookie of the year.
我的年度最佳新人
Oh, Dan. My boss who didn't want to hire me
丹 我一开始不想雇我
and now's a little hug machine.
但现在超爱抱我的老板
Oh, look at you. Brand-new and already the third best sales rep.
看看你 新加入不久就业绩第三名
- Why don't you come over to my table. - Yes. I'll be right there.
-过来我那桌坐坐吧 -我马上过去
Bernadette's just parking the car.
伯纳黛特还在停车
Bernadette. Cute, sweet...
伯纳黛特 人萌音甜
vicious little Bernadette.
恶毒凶残的小伯纳黛特
Come on. She's not that bad.
别这样嘛 她没那么坏
At the company picnic she yelled at me and my grandson
公司野餐的时候 她吼了我跟我孙子
for losing the three-legged race.
因为我们输了二人三腿赛跑
I mean, he still calls her "That mean kid with the big boobies."
我孙子现在还叫她为"毒舌大奶娃"
I know she can be a little intense, but, I swear,
她有时候是有点凶 但我保证
she is so sweet once you get past all the...
等稍微熟了之后 她就是很亲切的一个人了
Hey, what are you talking about?
你们在聊什么
We were just talking about how much we love working with you.
我们在聊有多喜欢跟你共事
Over the years here at Fun With Flags,
在《有趣的旗帜》的这些岁月里
we've had an opportunity to learn, laugh, wonder...
我们有机会一同学习 欢笑 惊奇
And, yes, even shed a tear or two.
甚至落过几滴泪
Like when you do a two-hour Fourth of July spectacular
比如国庆节做了两小时特别节目
and it doesn't get recorded.
结果却没被录下来
How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?
到底要我道歉几次才够
One for every domino I set up to make that American flag.
向我拼成美国国旗的每一片骨牌道歉
Please enjoy these highlights.
请欣赏我们的精彩剪辑
Crikey! What flag do we have today?
"澳"哟妈呀 今天是讲哪国的旗呢
Australia, mate!
澳大利亚 兄弟[澳洲口音]
And now it's time for the speed round of Flag or Not a Flag.
现在到了高速国旗大鉴定的单元
Not a flag. Flag.
不是国旗 国旗
I am crushing this.
我太厉害了
被美国公众广泛认作美国国旗的首位缝制者但缺乏足够的档案记载以佐证这一观点
Say, Betsy Ross, what you working on?
贝特西·罗斯 你在缝什么呢
Because the story of me sewing the first American flag
因为我缝出第一面美国旗帜的故事
is unsupported poppycock.
是没证据的狗屁
Then who did sew it, hmm?
那到底是谁缝的呢
I'm just a simple seamstress whose descendants are...
我只是个普通的女裁缝 是我的后代
out to make a quick buck!
想出来坑蒙拐骗
Fancy a dip, my dear?
赏脸共泳吗
Wait, that purple flag indicates
等等 紫色旗子代表了
that marine pests, such as jellyfish, are present.
水域有海洋有害生物 比如毒水母
Wow, that flag is a lifesaver.
哇 这旗子拯"救生"命啊
Stop looking at my legs.
别盯着人家腿了
Not a flag. Flag.
不是国旗 国旗
Flag. Not a flag.
国旗 不是国旗
When stuff like this gets me down,
碰到这种让我难受的事
you know what I like to do?
你知道我都怎么做吗
《狮子王》电影中的欢乐歌曲意为"不用担心"或"没有问题"
Sing "Hakuna Matata" Like an eight-year-old girl?
像八岁小女孩一样唱"哈库那马他他"吗
Wrong, smarty-pants.
错了 自作聪明
It's "Everything Is Awesome" From The Lego Movie.
是《乐高大电影》里的"啥事儿都好赞"
Look at these notebooks.
看这些笔记本
They're full of pages and pages of data.
一页一页全都是数据
He clearly spent years on this.
明显是他多年的心血
Oh, it's just columns of random numbers. Toss it.
只是一行行无规律的数字 扔了吧
Well, but what if this was a potential breakthrough for him?
万一这是他可能的重要突破呢
What if... what if this is the thing
万一这是让能他
that would've finally let him open that bottle of champagne?
如愿以偿打开那瓶香槟的东西呢
Maybe he didn't know what to pair champagne with.
或许他不开 是因为不知道香槟要配什么
Strawberries, caviar, oysters. All good choices.
草莓 鱼子酱 生蚝 都是好选择
Yeah, that look right there
瞧你那态度
is why people eat before they come to your parties.
所以大家才会在参加你派对前先吃饱
This has to mean something.
这些数据绝对是有意义的
Well, there's no discernible pattern that I can see,
我没能看出有什么规律啊
but it shouldn't be too hard to run the numbers and check.
不过输进电脑里验证应该是没什么难度
Well, maybe we can get some time on the supercomputer.
或许我们可以用超级计算机试试
Sure. We could try multiple regressions
可以啊 我们试试用不同的物理常数
with varying physical and experimental constants.
与实验常数进行多元回归分析
Oh, we could run a pattern-matching algorithm
还可以用模式匹配算法
against well-known unsolved physics problems.
将它们与知名未解物理问题做对比
Ooh, it might be a substitution cipher.
甚至有可能是替换式密码
We could start with basic cryptanalysis.
我们可以从基本密码分析着手
Or we could talk to this guy he used to share an office with.
或者我们可以问以前跟他同一办公室的人
Oh, let's do that.
还是那样做吧
Because you don't know how to do cryptanalysis, do you?
因为你不知道怎么做密码分析 对吧
I'm not even sure if it's the right word.
我甚至不确定我说的词对不对
So, Dan, you have a grandson.
丹 你有个孙子
- How old is he? - Seven.
-他几岁了 -七岁
Oh, yeah. I remember him from the picnic.
我记得他 在那次野餐有见过
He was the one crying like a wuss the whole time.
一直哭个不停 像个娘娘腔似地
I heard he was being picked on by a mean kid.
我听说他是被一个小恶霸欺负了
Just builds character.
有助人格发展啊
Like my dad said, "Nobody likes a crybaby
就像我爸说的 "没人喜欢爱哭鬼
except their mommies and Democrats."
除了他们自己的妈还有民主党"
I need another drink.
失陪 我去加酒
What's his problem?
他是有啥不满
I don't know. Maybe he didn't like the fact
不知道 可能他不喜欢听到
that you called his grandson a wuss.
自己的孙子被你叫娘娘腔吧
Well, I didn't think you were supposed to say "sissy" anymore.
可现在不是不让叫别人"娘炮"吗
Okay, look, I know what a good person you are,
我知道你这个人很好
but sometimes people think you might come off a little harsh.
可有时别人会觉得你表现得有点毒舌
I'm, like, the sweetest person I know.
我是我这辈子认识最甜的人了
Look at me. I should be in a tree baking cookies.
甜得像树里做小饼干的童话人物
Yes, but once in a while,
可是有些时候
people think you're a little mean.
有人会觉得你有点刻薄
You one of those people?
你是那些人中的一员吗
I-I think the cookie thing.
我也觉得你是做饼干那种
Our guest today is a returning fan favorite.
今日的来宾曾来过 并广受观众喜欢
He puts the reading in your rainbow,
儿童阅读节目《阅读彩虹》的主持人
the Geordi in your La Forge,
《星际迷航:下一代》成员
and the Kunta in your Kinte,
电视迷你剧集《根》的主角
Mr. LeVar Burton.
莱瓦尔·伯顿先生
Thank you, Sheldon. Now, remember our deal...
谢谢 谢尔顿 别忘了我们的约定
You do this, I delete your contact information.
你来上节目 我删了你的联系方式
While you watch me do it.
而且是在你面前删
Great. Happy to be back.
很好 很高兴再来上节目
Well, since you're here,
既然你来了
I'd like to get your opinion on something.
我想问你对某件事的看法
In honor of Black History Month,
为了向黑人历史月致意
I portrayed George Washington Carver
我扮成了乔治·华盛顿·卡弗
是美国教育家 农业化学家 植物学家对美国有十分大贡献的一名黑人
in a loving tribute that my roommate called "wildly racist"
我对他的致敬被我室友说"超有种族歧视"
Hi. My name is George.
你好 我的名字叫乔治
You heard him, Leonard.
听到了吗 莱纳德
No, it's not racist.
"不是"吧 我没有种族歧视
Are we sure this is the place?
咱们确定是这里吗
The doorman said this is the right building.
看门的说就是这栋楼
I think if you're pulling up your pants,
看到人来就赶紧提裤子的
you're not a doorman.
不会是看门的 是野战的
Uh, I'm looking for a Professor Sharpe?
我想找夏普教授
- Can I help you? - Hi. We're from the university.
-有事吗 -您好 我们是大学的人
We're trying to get some information about Professor Abbott.
我们想从您这打听艾伯特教授的信息
We were cleaning out his office
我们在清理他的办公室时
and found these books full of numbers.
发现了一些写满数字的本子
Any chance you know what it is?
您知道这是什么吗
Yes, he was always working on this.
知道 他总是在搞这玩意
I was thinking it might be some sort of interstellar coordinate system,
我猜可能是某种星际坐标系
maybe an updated version of Hubble's law.
或许是哈勃定律的升级版
I keep seeing the number 90 repeating.
"90"这个数字总是重复出现
That could be the angle of perturbation of a distant galaxy.
那可能是某个遥远星系的摄动角度
It's the number of calories in a yogurt.
其实是一份酸奶的卡路里数
That's his food diary.
这是他的饮食日记
Yeah, he wrote down everything he ever ate.
真的 他吃什么都要记下来
He was convinced that calorie restriction
他坚信限制卡路里摄入量
was the key to living forever.
是长命百岁的关键
Well, he could have been hit by a bus. You don't know.
他可能是死于车祸啊 你又不知道
Sorry it's not more interesting.
抱歉 真相不是那么有趣
On the bright side, you didn't have to listen
往好的方面想 你们不必听
to his stomach growl for 35 years.
他35年来肚子饿得咕噜叫的声音
So, was there anything that Professor Abbott worked on
那艾伯特教授这辈子研究的东西
during his life that came close to an accomplishment?
难道没有半点算得上是成就的东西吗
To be honest, his research never amounted to anything.
老实说 他的研究一无所成
Oh. You were his colleague.
你是他的同事
How did your research turn out?
你的研究结果如何
Hey, this is the apartment you get when you win a Nobel.
得诺贝尔奖的人 都住这种"豪宅"
Well, you could be very frugal.
你可以是一个很简朴的人啊
I'm getting a little tired of everybody's sarcasm.
我真是受够了每个人都在说反话了
I mean, maybe I come off a little strong,
或许我是表现得有那么一点强势
but that's only because my dad raised me to be tough
但那只是因为我父亲从小教育我要强硬
and not to take crap from anybody.
不要随便受人欺负
but there's a difference between being tough
但强硬跟告诉你的朋友
and telling your friend her new pants
她的新裤子像一块松垮的尿布
look like a saggy diaper.
这两者还是有区别的
I did say that, didn't I?
我的确那么说了 是吧
I felt so self-conscious, I had to return them.
我当时超级难为情 我只好把裤子退了
Where? To Babies R Us?
退到哪儿 婴儿用品店吗
You're doing it again!
你又来了
Okay, sorry. Can we just go?
对不起 我们可以走了吗
I feel like everybody hates me.
我感觉大家都讨厌我
Oh, come on, they don't hate you, all right?
别这样 他们不讨厌你 好吗
They're just a little intimidated.
他们只是有点怕你而已
All you need to do is show everyone
你只需让大家看到
how sweet you really are.
你其实非常亲切
- I think I'd rather go. - No, come on.
-我还是走吧 -不 坐下
You are not going anywhere, all right?
你哪儿也不许去 知道吗
I am here for you, and we are gonna fix this together.
我在这陪着你 我们一起来解决这问题
Even though your dress is ugly.
虽然你今天的裙子很难看
Well, my little Flag-keteers,
我的小旗友们
it looks like the last episode of Fun with Flags is at an end.
最后一集《有趣的旗帜》就要结束了
I would run each and every one of you viewers up a flagpole
你们每个人都是我升上去后
原俗语直翻为"升到旗杆上 看看有没有人会敬礼"意思是试试水 看看反应的意思
And if you touched the ground, burn you.
如果你掉到地面 我会烧掉你
根据规定 美国国旗降旗时 不能触碰地面如果国旗被弄脏或要退役 得庄重处理 通常烧毁
I'd like to take a moment
我想花一点时间
to personally thank Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler,
亲自谢谢艾米·费拉·福勒博士
who you may or may not know
你们或许知道 也或许不知道
is the first woman to co-host a flag
她是第一位搭档主持关于旗帜
or banner-related Internet info-tainment show.
或横幅相关的网络寓教于乐节目的女性
Take that, glass ceiling.
听见了吗 玻璃天花板
玻璃天花板是指女性和少数族裔无法晋升到决策层的无形障碍
And if I may get serious for a moment,
请容许我认真地说几句
hosting this show has been...
主持这档节目
With all its ups and downs,
一路走来的高兴与失落
I wouldn't give it up for the world.
是我无论如何都不想放弃的
Except for now, when I'm giving it up.
除了现在 我要放弃这节目了
Before I sign off, I'd, uh...
在节目正式停播前 我想...
I'd like to share with you all one last use for a white flag.
我想跟大家分享白旗的最后一个用处
It's good for times like this.
像这种时候 可以拿来擦眼泪
that was beautiful.
刚才那段话太感人了
If you didn't press record...
如果你没有按下录制...
That's the end of Roger Abbott.
罗杰·艾伯特的东西清理完毕
And we still don't know who framed him.
我们仍不知道是谁陷害了他
I still keep thinking about how an entire life
我一直在思考 一个人的一生
can seemingly amount to nothing.
怎么能一无所成呢
I guess the sad truth is,
事实就是这么悲哀
not everyone will accomplish something great.
不是所有人都能功成名就
Some of us may just have to find meaning
我们中有些人注定要在
in the little moments that make up life.
日常生活的点滴中寻找生命的意义
That's a nice way of looking at it.
这个看待的方法很不错
Yeah for you, not for me.
对你而言是 我可不是
I went to space. I'm covered.
哥上过太空呢 此生足矣
This bottle was meant to celebrate an achievement.
这瓶香槟本来就是要庆祝成就的
Let's make a pact.
我们做个约定
When one of us gets their first big breakthrough,
当我们中有人获得人生中第一次重大突破时
we'll celebrate by opening this bottle of champagne
我们就打开这瓶香槟庆祝
and toasting Professor Abbott.
并向罗杰·艾伯特致敬
rubbing our success in Sheldon's face.
向谢尔顿炫耀我们的成果
- Oh, well, that's the best part. - Oh, yeah.
-这是最精彩的部分 -没错
Dan, could I talk to you for a minute?
丹 我能和你聊聊吗
Just want you to know I didn't mean
我只是想告诉你
to be rude about your grandson.
我不是故意侮辱你的孙子
Penny told me that everyone's scared of me.
佩妮告诉我 大家都怕我
Why would she say that?
她为什么那么说
- You know she drinks, right? - What?
-你知道她是酒鬼 会乱说话吧 -少来
No, she's right, and I just want you to know
不 她说得对 我要让你知道
that from now on, I'm gonna be much more sensitive.
从现在起 我会多体会大家心情
I don't want anyone walking on eggshells around me.
我不想让大家在我面前如履薄冰
Oh, well, okay, then, uh,
那好吧 有件事
one thing I've been meaning to tell you
我一直想告诉你
is that the company is gonna stop paying for our coffee.
公司不再给我们提供免费的咖啡了
No problem. When does that start?
没问题 什么时候开始
Who's been paying for my coffee?
那我的咖啡一直都是谁买的
Yeah. It comes from the swear jar
买咖啡的钱来自你一骂人
we put money in when you curse.
我们就投钱进去的那个脏话罐
What else don't I know about?
还有什么事是我不知道的
- Uh, well, you know your private bathroom? - Yeah?
-你的私人卫生间 -怎么了
That was supposed to be for the whole floor.
那应该是给整层楼的人使用的
- You're kidding. - No, no. It's okay.
-你开什么玩笑 -那个无所谓
It only really affected wheelchair Kathy,
其实只对轮椅妹凯西有影响
and she's back in the hospital now,
现在她已经回医院了
so it all worked out.
所以没什么问题了
Well, then, maybe you shouldn't have named her "Wheelchair Kathy."
那你就不应该给人家取名"轮椅妹凯西"啊
I thought everybody liked me, but I'm just a monster.
我以为大家都喜欢我 其实我只是个怪兽
But a cute one, like that, uh, eyeball guy in Monsters, Inc.
但很可爱呀 就像《怪兽公司》里的独眼怪
No, I'm the worst.
不 我最坏了
I'm a terrible person.
我是个坏人
Come on, don't cry. It's okay.
乖 别哭 没关系啦
How can I even work here anymore? Oh.
我哪还有脸留在这工作呀
- Because this company needs you. - It's fine.
-这家公司需要你 -真没事
We don't mind paying for the coffee.
我们不介意给你买咖啡
I can't let you do that.
我不能让你们这么做
Maybe we could get you
或许我们可以给你
an espresso machine for your office.
买一台咖啡机放在你办公室里
- I guess that would be all right. - All right.
-这样也行吧 -好的
See? You don't have to be mean to get what you want.
瞧 你不刻薄也能得到你想要的东西
Now where did we land on my bathroom?
那我的私人卫生间现在怎么处理呢
How come you're up so late?
这么晚还不睡吗
I posted the last episode of Fun with Flags hours ago,
我上传《有趣的旗帜》最终集好几个小时了
and not a single person cared enough to comment.
没有任何人在乎到愿意留个言
All that effort for nothing.
一切努力都是徒然
I know how you feel.
我明白你的感受
I spent the day throwing out a man's entire career,
我今天一天把一个男人一生事业扔进垃圾桶
and all that's left is an old bottle of champagne
唯一留下的是一瓶陈年香槟
and a naked lady pen that Raj took
和拉杰自以为没人发现
when he thought no one was looking.
就私吞了的一根裸女笔
It's not the same thing.
这根本是两码事
I don't think you know how I feel at all.
你完全不明白我的感受
Someone left a comment.
有人留言了
Yeah. What did they say?
他们说什么
"Too bad your show is done.
"你的节目结束了真可惜
I kind of liked it."
我还挺喜欢的"
Leonard, did you hear that?
莱纳德 你听到了吗
Oh, the people are heartbroken!
网友们难过得要死
I can't take this away from the world!
这世界上不能没有这节目
Fun with Flags is back!
《有趣的旗帜》满血复活了
Sheldon, that wasn't for you!
谢尔顿 那不是给你的
Oh, no, I'm not going to drink it.
我也没打算喝啊
I just wanted to hear the pop.
我只想听开瓶那砰的一声
Yeah, I knew it was coming. Still scary.
我知道会砰的一声 还是吓死人家了
What are you doing here?
你来干嘛
You told me not to call,
你不让我打电话给你
and I didn't know how else to give you the good news.
我不知道该怎么告诉你这个好消息
Fun with Flags is back,
《有趣的旗帜》回归了
and you can be in the next episode.
下一集你可以来当嘉宾
Wil Wheaton said, get a gate.
威尔·惠顿让我弄个大闸门
- I don't know why I didn't get a gate. - You...
-我当初真该听他的话 -你真是...
At least listen to the premise.
至少你听我说完前提
Since you were born in Germany,
既然你在德国出生
I thought we could talk about German flags.
我们可以聊聊德国国旗
How do you feel about dressing up like a swastika?
你有兴趣装扮成卐字图案吗