I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
And welcome to Sheldon Cooper Presents: Fun with Flags,
the Final Episode Flagtacular.
I knew it was coming. Still scary.
Now, I'm sure you're thinking, "The final episode?
who will stand between us and flag ignorance"
I know I was thinking that.
Is this a show on flags or mind reading?
But the truth is I can no longer balance a full-time career,
a popular Internet show, and a girlfriend.
And he really does have one, you jerks on the comment board.
So as they say, all good things must come to an end.
After only 232 episodes.
233 if we include the one
somebody forgot to press record on.
You said you weren't gonna bring that up.
And you said you pressed record.
Anyway, please sit back, relax,
and join us as we take our final lap...
...as indicated by the waving of this racing flag.
And, of course, white flags can also represent surrender,
the Stewards of Gondor, and the Japanese Minamoto clan,
刚铎宰相 《魔戒》中刚铎地区的统治者日本源氏与平家大战时 一家白旗 一家红旗
but I'm sure you remember that from episode 62,
"White Flags: Who's Wavin' 'Em and Why"
That was a good one.
You know, I thought cleaning out a dead professor's office
was gonna just be boring,
but then I found his dentures
and realized it's also gross.
Doesn't Professor Abbott's family want any of this stuff?
I don't think he had a family.
- That's rough. - I know.
You can spend your whole life working,
and at the end all that's left are some papers in a box.
Makes you think.
Hey. Hey, we're supposed to look through all this stuff
before we throw it away in case it's important.
I-I did. It's all outdated or disproved.
I don't know. This old pen kind of proves gravity.
When I tilt it, her bathing suit falls right off.
Oh, my dad used to have a pen like that.
I dated it all through sixth grade.
It still feels weird
just throwing away his work like this.
Someday, someone will be throwing out your work, too.
That someone was Sheldon, and the day was yesterday.
"Dear Roger, to be opened upon your first great discovery.
Wow, look at the date.
He saved this 50 years and never got to open it.
Poor Roger Abbott.
Roger Abbott sounds just like Roger Rabbit.
Roger Abbott, Roger Abbott, Roger Rabbit.
罗杰特 罗杰特 罗杰兔
Oh, my God, Leonard, I know he's dead,
天啊 莱纳德 我知道这对死者不敬
but try it. It's fun!
Roger Abbott, Roger Rabbit...
罗杰特 罗杰特 罗杰兔
Oh, my rookie of the year.
Oh, Dan. My boss who didn't want to hire me
and now's a little hug machine.
Oh, look at you. Brand-new and already the third best sales rep.
- Why don't you come over to my table. - Yes. I'll be right there.
Bernadette's just parking the car.
Bernadette. Cute, sweet...
vicious little Bernadette.
Come on. She's not that bad.
At the company picnic she yelled at me and my grandson
for losing the three-legged race.
I mean, he still calls her "That mean kid with the big boobies."
I know she can be a little intense, but, I swear,
she is so sweet once you get past all the...
Hey, what are you talking about?
We were just talking about how much we love working with you.
Over the years here at Fun With Flags,
we've had an opportunity to learn, laugh, wonder...
我们有机会一同学习 欢笑 惊奇
And, yes, even shed a tear or two.
Like when you do a two-hour Fourth of July spectacular
and it doesn't get recorded.
How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?
One for every domino I set up to make that American flag.
Please enjoy these highlights.
Crikey! What flag do we have today?
And now it's time for the speed round of Flag or Not a Flag.
Not a flag. Flag.
I am crushing this.
Say, Betsy Ross, what you working on?
Because the story of me sewing the first American flag
is unsupported poppycock.
Then who did sew it, hmm?
I'm just a simple seamstress whose descendants are...
out to make a quick buck!
Fancy a dip, my dear?
Wait, that purple flag indicates
that marine pests, such as jellyfish, are present.
Wow, that flag is a lifesaver.
Stop looking at my legs.
Not a flag. Flag.
Flag. Not a flag.
When stuff like this gets me down,
you know what I like to do?
Sing "Hakuna Matata" Like an eight-year-old girl?
It's "Everything Is Awesome" From The Lego Movie.
Look at these notebooks.
They're full of pages and pages of data.
He clearly spent years on this.
Oh, it's just columns of random numbers. Toss it.
Well, but what if this was a potential breakthrough for him?
What if... what if this is the thing
that would've finally let him open that bottle of champagne?
Maybe he didn't know what to pair champagne with.
Strawberries, caviar, oysters. All good choices.
草莓 鱼子酱 生蚝 都是好选择
Yeah, that look right there
is why people eat before they come to your parties.
This has to mean something.
Well, there's no discernible pattern that I can see,
but it shouldn't be too hard to run the numbers and check.
Well, maybe we can get some time on the supercomputer.
Sure. We could try multiple regressions
with varying physical and experimental constants.
Oh, we could run a pattern-matching algorithm
against well-known unsolved physics problems.
Ooh, it might be a substitution cipher.
We could start with basic cryptanalysis.
Or we could talk to this guy he used to share an office with.
Oh, let's do that.
Because you don't know how to do cryptanalysis, do you?
I'm not even sure if it's the right word.
So, Dan, you have a grandson.
- How old is he? - Seven.
Oh, yeah. I remember him from the picnic.
He was the one crying like a wuss the whole time.
I heard he was being picked on by a mean kid.
Just builds character.
Like my dad said, "Nobody likes a crybaby
except their mommies and Democrats."
I need another drink.
What's his problem?
I don't know. Maybe he didn't like the fact
that you called his grandson a wuss.
Well, I didn't think you were supposed to say "sissy" anymore.
Okay, look, I know what a good person you are,
but sometimes people think you might come off a little harsh.
I'm, like, the sweetest person I know.
Look at me. I should be in a tree baking cookies.
Yes, but once in a while,
people think you're a little mean.
You one of those people?
I-I think the cookie thing.
Our guest today is a returning fan favorite.
He puts the reading in your rainbow,
the Geordi in your La Forge,
and the Kunta in your Kinte,
Mr. LeVar Burton.
Thank you, Sheldon. Now, remember our deal...
谢谢 谢尔顿 别忘了我们的约定
You do this, I delete your contact information.
While you watch me do it.
Great. Happy to be back.
Well, since you're here,
I'd like to get your opinion on something.
In honor of Black History Month,
I portrayed George Washington Carver
是美国教育家 农业化学家 植物学家对美国有十分大贡献的一名黑人
in a loving tribute that my roommate called "wildly racist"
Hi. My name is George.
You heard him, Leonard.
No, it's not racist.
Are we sure this is the place?
The doorman said this is the right building.
I think if you're pulling up your pants,
you're not a doorman.
Uh, I'm looking for a Professor Sharpe?
- Can I help you? - Hi. We're from the university.
-有事吗 -您好 我们是大学的人
We're trying to get some information about Professor Abbott.
We were cleaning out his office
and found these books full of numbers.
Any chance you know what it is?
Yes, he was always working on this.
I was thinking it might be some sort of interstellar coordinate system,
maybe an updated version of Hubble's law.
I keep seeing the number 90 repeating.
That could be the angle of perturbation of a distant galaxy.
It's the number of calories in a yogurt.
That's his food diary.
Yeah, he wrote down everything he ever ate.
He was convinced that calorie restriction
was the key to living forever.
Well, he could have been hit by a bus. You don't know.
Sorry it's not more interesting.
On the bright side, you didn't have to listen
to his stomach growl for 35 years.
So, was there anything that Professor Abbott worked on
during his life that came close to an accomplishment?
To be honest, his research never amounted to anything.
Oh. You were his colleague.
How did your research turn out?
Hey, this is the apartment you get when you win a Nobel.
Well, you could be very frugal.
I'm getting a little tired of everybody's sarcasm.
I mean, maybe I come off a little strong,
but that's only because my dad raised me to be tough
and not to take crap from anybody.
but there's a difference between being tough
and telling your friend her new pants
look like a saggy diaper.
I did say that, didn't I?
I felt so self-conscious, I had to return them.
Where? To Babies R Us?
You're doing it again!
Okay, sorry. Can we just go?
I feel like everybody hates me.
Oh, come on, they don't hate you, all right?
别这样 他们不讨厌你 好吗
They're just a little intimidated.
All you need to do is show everyone
how sweet you really are.
- I think I'd rather go. - No, come on.
-我还是走吧 -不 坐下
You are not going anywhere, all right?
I am here for you, and we are gonna fix this together.
Even though your dress is ugly.
Well, my little Flag-keteers,
it looks like the last episode of Fun with Flags is at an end.
I would run each and every one of you viewers up a flagpole
原俗语直翻为"升到旗杆上 看看有没有人会敬礼"意思是试试水 看看反应的意思
And if you touched the ground, burn you.
根据规定 美国国旗降旗时 不能触碰地面如果国旗被弄脏或要退役 得庄重处理 通常烧毁
I'd like to take a moment
to personally thank Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler,
who you may or may not know
is the first woman to co-host a flag
or banner-related Internet info-tainment show.
Take that, glass ceiling.
And if I may get serious for a moment,
hosting this show has been...
With all its ups and downs,
I wouldn't give it up for the world.
Except for now, when I'm giving it up.
Before I sign off, I'd, uh...
I'd like to share with you all one last use for a white flag.
It's good for times like this.
that was beautiful.
If you didn't press record...
That's the end of Roger Abbott.
And we still don't know who framed him.
I still keep thinking about how an entire life
can seemingly amount to nothing.
I guess the sad truth is,
not everyone will accomplish something great.
Some of us may just have to find meaning
in the little moments that make up life.
That's a nice way of looking at it.
Yeah for you, not for me.
I went to space. I'm covered.
This bottle was meant to celebrate an achievement.
Let's make a pact.
When one of us gets their first big breakthrough,
we'll celebrate by opening this bottle of champagne
and toasting Professor Abbott.
rubbing our success in Sheldon's face.
- Oh, well, that's the best part. - Oh, yeah.
Dan, could I talk to you for a minute?
Just want you to know I didn't mean
to be rude about your grandson.
Penny told me that everyone's scared of me.
Why would she say that?
- You know she drinks, right? - What?
-你知道她是酒鬼 会乱说话吧 -少来
No, she's right, and I just want you to know
不 她说得对 我要让你知道
that from now on, I'm gonna be much more sensitive.
I don't want anyone walking on eggshells around me.
Oh, well, okay, then, uh,
one thing I've been meaning to tell you
is that the company is gonna stop paying for our coffee.
No problem. When does that start?
Who's been paying for my coffee?
Yeah. It comes from the swear jar
we put money in when you curse.
What else don't I know about?
- Uh, well, you know your private bathroom? - Yeah?
That was supposed to be for the whole floor.
- You're kidding. - No, no. It's okay.
It only really affected wheelchair Kathy,
and she's back in the hospital now,
so it all worked out.
Well, then, maybe you shouldn't have named her "Wheelchair Kathy."
I thought everybody liked me, but I'm just a monster.
But a cute one, like that, uh, eyeball guy in Monsters, Inc.
No, I'm the worst.
I'm a terrible person.
Come on, don't cry. It's okay.
乖 别哭 没关系啦
How can I even work here anymore? Oh.
- Because this company needs you. - It's fine.
We don't mind paying for the coffee.
I can't let you do that.
Maybe we could get you
an espresso machine for your office.
- I guess that would be all right. - All right.
See? You don't have to be mean to get what you want.
Now where did we land on my bathroom?
How come you're up so late?
I posted the last episode of Fun with Flags hours ago,
and not a single person cared enough to comment.
All that effort for nothing.
I know how you feel.
I spent the day throwing out a man's entire career,
and all that's left is an old bottle of champagne
and a naked lady pen that Raj took
when he thought no one was looking.
It's not the same thing.
I don't think you know how I feel at all.
Someone left a comment.
Yeah. What did they say?
"Too bad your show is done.
I kind of liked it."
Leonard, did you hear that?
Oh, the people are heartbroken!
I can't take this away from the world!
Fun with Flags is back!
Sheldon, that wasn't for you!
Oh, no, I'm not going to drink it.
I just wanted to hear the pop.
Yeah, I knew it was coming. Still scary.
What are you doing here?
You told me not to call,
and I didn't know how else to give you the good news.
Fun with Flags is back,
and you can be in the next episode.
Wil Wheaton said, get a gate.
- I don't know why I didn't get a gate. - You...
At least listen to the premise.
Since you were born in Germany,
I thought we could talk about German flags.
How do you feel about dressing up like a swastika?