生活大爆炸 第八季 The Big Bang Theory Season 8 第22集: 毕业典礼传送器 The Graduation Transmission

上映日期: 2,014

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧

导演: 马克·森卓斯基

演员: 吉姆·帕森斯 / 约翰尼·盖尔克奇 / 凯莉·库柯 / 西蒙·赫尔伯格 / 昆瑙·内亚 / 马伊姆·拜力克 / 梅丽莎·劳奇 / 比利·鲍伯·松顿 / 凯文·苏斯曼 Kevin Sussman / 雷


台词
It's, like, the best one they make,
这款是市面上最棒的一台了
I just can't get it to work.
可怎么弄都飞不起来
I'll figure it out.
我来弄吧
It streams HD video straight to your phone while it's flying.
这玩意能边飞边串流高清影片到你手机上
Nice.
Where were you when I was single?
我单身的时候 这小宝贝在哪呢
Okay, we should leave in about an hour. You all packed?
我们一小时内就得出发 你东西收拾好了吗
Uh, yeah, I just need to throw in a few last minute things--
差不多 出发前再加几件东西进去就行
you know, makeup, underwear, clothes.
就化妆品 内衣裤 衣服那些
If your bathroom floor counts as a carry-on,
如果你的浴室地板能算手提行李
you're packed.
那你算收拾完毕了
Leonard, have you ever given a high school commencement speech before?
莱纳德 你以前有在高中毕业典礼致辞过吗
Nope. It's pretty exciting.
没有 挺让人激动的
Aren't you afraid of being blinded?
你不怕被弄瞎吗
How would I be blinded?
我为什么会被弄瞎
At the end of the ceremony,
在毕业典礼的最后
all the students throw those pointy hats in the air.
学生都会把四方尖角帽抛上天空
It's all pomp and circumstance until someone loses an eye.
场面还会挺有气势 直到有人被戳瞎眼
I'll take my chances.
我乐意赌一把
Fine.
随你
I wonder if they make "I told you so" cards in braille.
你说有没有卖"我早说了"的点字版卡片
Look, the problem with commencement speeches
毕业典礼演讲最大的问题是
is that they're boring.
都很无聊
Ooh, do you own a T-shirt cannon?
你有能发射T恤的T恤大炮吗
Why would he own a T-shirt cannon?
他没事为啥会有T恤大炮
I don't know. Why do I own one?
不知道啊 但为啥我有咧
I think it's really nice
我觉得你很贴心
that you're sharing this experience with Penny.
愿意带佩妮分享这样的机会
Mm, I thought it'd be fun
我觉得带她去
to show her my old stomping grounds.
我的母校地盘看看 应该蛮有意思
I even know the exact spot where they used to stomp me.
我还记得我是在哪块"地盘"被人踩呢
Well, now you get to go back as a successful scientist.
但现在你能以成功科学家身份衣锦还乡啊
With a beautiful girl on your arm.
手里搂着美女
And a pointy hat sticking out of your eyeball.
眼里还插着一顶四方尖角帽
第八季 第二十二集
How'd you get ready so fast?
你怎么能这么快就准备好呢
Oh, I pack light.
我轻装上阵嘛
Once, I got through an entire spring break
有一年的春假
with nothing but a long T-shirt and a belt.
我回家就带了一件长T恤跟腰带
Why did you need a belt?
你为啥会需要腰带
It's called an evening look.
那叫晚装好吗
I've never been to New Jersey before.
我从来没去过新泽西呢
It gets a bad rap from shows
电视节目把它名声搞臭了
like Jersey Shore and Real Housewives.
比如《泽西海滩》或《贵妇的真实生活》
《泽西海滩》讲八名男女去泽西海岸打工 玩乐《泽西贵妇的真实生活》就是有钱人在秀下限
So it's not really like that?
所以实情不是那样吗
No, it's like that.
没 还真的就像那样
Well, I'm excited to show you around.
但还是很期待能带你到处看看
You think we'll have time to visit your mom over there?
你觉得我们会有时间去探望你妈吗
Yes.
有啊
We'll also have time to put my junk in a garlic press,
还时间把我的鸡鸡放进压蒜器呢
but I'm not doing that either.
但我也不会因为有时间就做啊
I just got an alert.
刚收到短信提醒
Our flight's been canceled.
我们的班机被取消了
What?
什么
Yeah, looks like there's a big storm all up the East Coast.
东海岸这里好像有个很大的台风
Well, can we get on another airline?
能换别家的班机吗
I don't think so.
貌似不行
So, that's it? We're not going?
所以就这样 不去了吗
I guess not.
看来是
- Well, that sucks. - Yeah.
-也太衰了吧 -是啊
I worked hard on that speech, too.
我可是非常认真准备这段致辞呢
Oh. You could tell it to me.
你可以念给我听啊
Oh, thank you, but I'm okay.
谢谢啊 不过不用啦
Are you sure?
你确定吗
I could pretend I'm a high school cheerleader
我可以假装我是高中拉拉队长
who can't control herself around esteemed alumni.
对成功的校友没有任何抵抗力哦
Greetings, distinguished cheerleaders.
杰出的拉拉队员们 你们好吗
Okay, the WiFi extender is on, the camera's on,
无线网扩展器开启了 摄像机也开启了
they're both on the same network;
而且两者都连到了同个网
we should be getting an image.
我们应该能收到画面了啊
All I see is a black screen.
我只能看到黑色的屏幕
And my own reflection.
以及我自己的倒影
I look sad.
我看起来好伤心
Maybe we should recalibrate it.
可能我们得重新校准一下
All right.
好吧
Step one: rapidly flip the calibration switch
第一步: 快速扳动校准开关
from the fully up to the fully down
从最上方扳到最下方
positions for at least ten times.
此动作最少重复十次
It actually says "at least"?
上面真写了"最少"吗
Yeah.
对啊
Why would they say "at least"?
它为啥会写"最少"啊
Is it ten toggles?
那到底是扳十次
Is it 100 toggles? You know?
还是扳一百次呢
Is it 1,000 toggles?
还是扳一千次
10,000 toggles?
一万次呢
- 100,000 toggles? - Sheldon!
-还是十万次 -谢尔顿
You see where I'm going with this.
你懂我接下来要说的是什么
Just flip the switch
你就快点扳就是了
until the lights on the drone change to solid yellow.
直到无人机的灯变成长亮的黄色
All right, that seems simple enough.
好吧 这步看起来不难
Initiating calibration sequence.
启动校准程序
One, two, three, four,
一 二 三 四
five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
五 六 七 八 九 十
Well, I suppose ten is technically "at least ten."
看来技术上来说 十等于"最少十下"
But they're still getting at least one angry letter.
但他们"最少"会收到一封愤怒的投诉信
Now I rotate it horizontally
现在沿着中轴
on its center axis until the lights turn green.
水平旋转它 直到灯号变成绿色
Initiating rotation sequence.
启动旋转程序
Don't look at me, initiate.
看我干嘛 启动啊
What does red and yellow mean?
这红跟黄灯代表什么意思
It means the calibration failed.
代表校准失败
We have to start over.
我们得从头再来
Oh. Very well.
好吧
Reinitiating calibration sequence.
重新启动校准程序
One, two, three, four,
一 二 三 四
five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten...
五 六 七 八 九 十
...eleven.
十一
It's a good thing I didn't send that letter.
还好那封信我没有寄出
Hello, Daddy. What's up?
老爸 最近还好吗
Not much, just wanted to see how my son's doing.
还行 就想看看我儿子最近好不好
Very well, thank you.
很好啊 谢谢关心
Are you still dating that dermatologist?
你还在跟那位皮肤科医生约会吗
If you could feel how soft my skin is,
如果你能摸到我的皮肤多柔嫩
you wouldn't have to ask.
你就不会问了
Oh, and there's something else I wanted to ask you.
我还有另一件事想问你
Why did you spend a month's rent on a toy helicopter?!
你为啥把一个月的房租钱拿去买玩具飞机
Oh, you're where that bill goes.
原来那张账单是寄给你了啊
I'm tired of indulging your foolish lifestyle.
我受够了纵容你的白痴生活
It's time you learned responsibility.
是时候让你学会负起责任了
And the only way to teach you that
而唯一能教会你这事的方法
is to cut off your allowance.
不再给你零用钱
No, Daddy, no!
不行 爸 不行
There are lots of other ways to teach me responsibility.
能让我学会负责任的方法多了去了
I know, you can give me an egg
比如你可以给我颗鸡蛋
and make me take care of it for a week!
让我照顾好它整整一周啊
No, my mind is made up.
不必了 我已经决定了
Starting now, you're on your own.
从现在开始 你自食其力吧
But, Daddy, I-I miss my family so much,
可是爸比 我好想家人
and with you and Mummy getting a divorce,
你跟妈咪又离婚了
I feel sad and empty.
我好不开心又好空虚
Buying a little toy every now and then
偶尔买个小玩具
helps me fill that void.
能帮助我填满心中的空虚
So while I can't hug you every day,
所以尽管我不能天天拥抱你
flying that helicopter...
飞那台直升机...
I'm cutting you off.
我要断了你
Just to be clear, financially or mid-sentence?
我确认一下 是断钱 还是挂断电话
No red and yellow,
别跳红黄灯啊
no red and yellow.
别跳黄红灯啊
- It's green! - Yay! We did it!
-变绿了 -我们成功了
God, if it's this much fun to rotate,
天啊 光捧着转就这么有意思
imagine when we fly it.
等飞起来还得了
Okay, now all I have to do is rotate it vertically
好了 现在我只需垂直旋转机体
until the lights turn off.
直到绿灯熄灭
Oh, no!
All right, playtime's over.
好了 娱乐时间结束
Let's open this baby up.
咱们把这宝贝拆开吧
Won't that void the warranty?
拆开就不能保修了
Sheldon, I have a master's degree in engineering.
谢尔顿 我有一个工程学硕士学位
I wipe my bottom with warranties.
保修卡只配给我擦屁股
Except for AppleCare.
苹果的保修除外
That pays for itself in the long run.
从长远来看 维修费很快会回本
Hey, where'd you go?
你去哪儿了
I got you a little something to cheer you up.
我给你买了点东西 让你开心开心
Really?
真的吗
Sex last night, pancakes this morning--
昨晚的爱爱 今早的饼饼
Am I dying?
我这是要死的节奏吗
Just open it.
快打开看看
A cap and gown?
四方帽和长袍
Why do I need a cap and gown?
我为什么会需要这俩玩意
Because you are giving your commencement speech.
因为你要在毕业典礼上致辞
What are you talking about?
你在说什么呀
I called your old high school
我打给你以前的高中
and convinced them to let you give your speech over Skype.
说服他们让你通过视频聊天在典礼上致辞
Really?
真的吗
That's amazing!
太棒了
And you gave me the robes to give it in.
你还特意买了长袍让我致辞时穿
Thank you.
谢谢
Yeah, now about those--
对哦 关于长袍我有话说
uh, they came from a costume shop,
这是我在一家道具店买的
and all they had left was sexy graduate,
店里只剩下性感毕业生装束了
so they...
所以长袍...
might be a little short.
可能会有点短
- Short and sexy, that's my wheelhouse. - Yeah!
-又短[矮]又性感 我的强项嘛 -没错
Boy, oh, boy, that's a lot of pieces.
哎呀呀 零件还真多呀
You know what they all do, right?
你都知道是干嘛的 对吧
Yes, of course.
当然 那还用说
What about this one?
那这个是干嘛的
Well, I... how familiar are you
这个嘛...你熟不熟
with miniaturized integrated logic circuits?
小型集成逻辑电路呢
Not very.
不太熟
That right there is a miniaturized integrated logic circuit.
那你手里拿着的正是这玩意
So, can you get it working?
那你能修好它吗
I'm an MIT-trained engineer.
我可是麻省理工毕业的工程师
I've built components for the space station.
我还为太空站出过一份力呢
I thought the zero-gravity toilet didn't work.
我还以为那个零重力厕所不能用呢
It worked fine,
能用好吗
it just wasn't designed for Russian cosmonauts
只不过设计不适合俄罗斯宇航员
and their potato-based diet.
以及他们的全是马铃薯的饮食
Hey, guys.
你好啊
Hello.
你来啦
I have to return the helicopter. My father...
我得把直升飞机退了 我爸...
What did you do?!
你俩干了什么好事
Well, don't worry.
别担心
He went to MIT.
他是麻省理工毕业的
He can solve any problem,
他可以解决任何问题
as long as it doesn't originate in a Russian man's colon.
只要不是来自俄罗斯人的结肠就行
I don't freaking believe this!
真他妈不敢相信
Relax, it'll be fine.
别紧张 能装回去
No, you have to put this back together right now,
不是 你现在必须装回去
so I can return it!
我才能拿去退
You can't return it.
你退不了了
Howard wiped his bottom with the warranty.
霍华德用保修卡擦屁股了
What?!
什么
I think metaphorically.
我猜他可能只是打个比方
But he was in the bathroom for a while.
但他刚真进了厕所好一会呢
Howard, my father cut me off.
霍华德 我爸不给我零用钱花了
I have to get my money back for this!
我得把这玩意退了 把钱拿回来
Calm down.
冷静
Okay.
好吧
Okay, you're right.
好吧 你是对的
It's time for me to step up
我是时候站出来
and take responsibility for my life.
为自己的人生负责了
Be a man.
当个爷们
Hello, Mummy.
妈咪是我啊
Hello, Rajesh.
拉杰什呀
What a nice surprise.
这通电话真让我惊喜
Well, I've been thinking about you.
我一直很想你
How are you doing? Are you happy, Mummy?
你好吗 你快乐吗 妈咪
Such a sweet boy for asking.
乖儿子 真关心我
Can't believe you come from the poison seed of your father.
真不敢相信你是来自你父亲的毒种
Well, I like to think I take mostly after you.
我觉得我比较随你
Anyway, speaking of Daddy,
对了 说起爸爸
I had a very strange conversation with him.
我们刚进行了一次非常奇怪的通话
He said he couldn't afford to send me money anymore
他说以后没钱打生活费给我了
because of his active social life.
因为他有活跃的社交生活
What does that mean, "active social life"?
这话什么意思 "活跃的社交生活"
Well, let's not talk about him
好啦 咱们别聊他了
or whatever shenanigans he may or may not be up to.
谁在乎他有没有在密谋什么诡计啊
Let's talk about you.
咱们来聊聊你吧
Rajesh, is your father seeing someone?
拉杰什 你爸是不是跟人约会了
All I know, Mummy, is that he's a single wealthy doctor,
妈咪 我只知道他是一个单身多金的医生
and now, for some reason,
而现在出于某种原因
there's no money for your little boy.
突然没钱给你的宝贝儿子了
Well, however much money your father was giving you,
好 不管你老爸之前给你多少钱
I'll give you more.
我给你更多
Thank you, Mummy, I love you!
谢谢妈咪 我爱你
Helicopters for everybody!
一人一台直升机
What's taking so long?
怎么这么久啊
I don't think this is gonna work.
我觉得这么穿不行
Just let me see.
出来给我看看
Sweetie, you know you're supposed to wear clothes
亲爱的 毕业长袍里
underneath a graduation gown.
应该穿上衣服
A: surprised you know that.
首先 我很惊讶你知道这点
B: I wanted to look like a sexy graduate for you.
其次 我想让你觉得我是一个性感毕业生
Well, you do.
你成功了
- Thank you. - Yeah.
-谢谢 -好啦
You're gonna be on Skype; they're not gonna see your legs.
反正你是视频语聊 他们也看不到你的腿
Well, I'm gonna go put on some pants just in case.
以防万一 我还是穿上裤子吧
But I have to say, this is very freeing.
但我要说一句 这样穿真的好"解放"
Add a belt and I'll take you someplace nice.
系条腰带 我就带你去个好地方
Done and done.
没问题
Okay, I think I've narrowed it down
好了 我已经把故障缩小到
to a faulty pin on the onboard communication chip.
飞机通讯芯片上一个错误的针脚
Very impressive.
真厉害
You know, when you're done with that,
等你修完那台
can you look at this?
可以看下这台吗
It doesn't make smoke anymore.
它不会冒烟了
One toy at a time.
一个个来
Mm. Sorry.
抱歉
Ah, maybe it's for the best.
或许这样最好
I hear locomotive smoke
我听说火车头的烟
is the second leading cause of death among train aficionados.
是火车宅们第二大死因
What's the first one?
第一大死因是什么
Suicide.
自杀
Wrong.
Obesity.
肥胖
I have the tool you wanted.
我把你要的工具拿来了
Thank you.
谢谢
You guys don't have to go to the trouble.
你们其实不必这么费劲
I'm back in the money now;
哥现在又有钱了
I can just buy another helicopter.
再买一台就好啦
It's not about the money.
重点不是钱
It's about solving a problem.
而是解决问题
It's why I became an engineer.
这是我当工程师的初衷
It's what I like to do, it's what I'm trained to do.
我喜欢做这个 我学的也是这个
It's who I am.
这就是我
源自童书《小引擎做到了》
Oh, look at you-- the little engineer that could.
瞧你 小工程师做到了
Why don't you just call tech support?
为什么不找技术支持呢
- Hey! - Not cool!
-说啥呢 -太逊了
What?
怎么了
There's two kinds of people in this world:
这个世上有两种人
those who call tech support
打给技术支持求助的人
and those who make fun of the people who call tech support.
与嘲笑前者的那种人
I call tech support all the time.
我就每次都打给技术支持啊
- You call tech support! - What a baby!
-你居然找技术支持 -真没用
And now, for our commencement address,
现在 我们的毕业典礼演讲
one of our most distinguished alumni,
邀请到了我们最杰出的校友之一
noted Caltech physicist Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.
加州理工名物理学家莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德
Members of the faculty, students,
各位教员 各位同学
I'm excited to speak to you today.
我今天很高兴能为大家致辞
I can't help but remember the last time I was in this auditorium.
我脑海中一直想起上次来这礼堂的情景
Two guys from the lacrosse team
两个长曲棍球队的人
played keep-away with my asthma inhaler.
拿我的气喘药吸入器当球打 不让我接
But enough about my ten-year reunion.
我毕业十年同学会的事就不讲了
I'd also like to take a moment
我也想再花点时间
to thank my beautiful fiancee
感谢我美丽的未婚妻
for to helping make this speech possible,
即使在天气不允许的情况下
even though weather nearly prevented it.
仍将不可能变成现实
Oh. Hello.
大家好啊
I-I didn't know he was gonna point it at me,
我不知道他会把镜头转过来
so...
所以...
don't do drugs and stay in school.
别吸毒 别辍学哦
They're graduating.
他们要毕业了
Okay, bye!
好吧 再见
All right, the power supply is reconnected.
好了 电源供给重新连接上了
I think we're back in business.
我觉得我们能出征啦
Let's just run a few tests before we take it outside.
在出征前 先做几个测试
Sheldon, we got WiFi?
谢尔顿 网连上了吗
Check.
已连上
GPS?
全球定位系统呢
Check.
已定位
Battery charged?
电池充满了吗
Check.
已充满
Four hours of our lives gone? Check.
四小时的生命浪费掉了吗 已浪费
All right. All systems go.
好的 各系统准备工作就绪
In five...
倒数五秒
...four, three, two, one.
四 三 二 一
That's what my train used to do.
我的小火车以前也能这样
Ready to call tech support?
准备好打给技术支持了吗
Give me the number.
电话给我
Probably wind up talking to some foreign guy
打了估计也是某个咖喱国的客服
who's reading from the same manual I have.
看着同样的说明书机械化地回答问题
It's my father, you jerks.
我爸打来了 都怪你们俩混蛋
Hello, Daddy.
爸比 怎么了
What did you say to your mother?
你跟你妈妈说了什么
Nothing.
没有啊
I was just calling to check in,
我就打给她问个好
make sure she's doing okay.
看看她最近怎么样啊
Well, after talking to you,
她跟你说完电话后
she seems to think I'm some sort of playboy.
她貌似觉得我是个风流浪子
Really?
真的吗
I don't know where she'd get an idea like that.
我不知道她怎么会产生这种想法
You know mummy and her crazy imagination.
你也懂妈咪这人 还有她常会乱想
I'm so lucky I take after you.
我觉得我能随你真是太幸运了
You think you take after me?
你觉得你是随我吗
Well, I try to.
我尽量这么想啊
I certainly wouldn't be a scientist
如果不是有你做榜样
if you hadn't been my role model.
我也不会去当科学家
Who wants to go to Vegas in a real helicopter?!
谁想坐真的直升飞机去拉斯维加斯
It was L. Frank Baum who said,
弗兰克·鲍姆曾说过
"No thief, however skillful, can rob one of knowledge,
"多厉害的小偷 都无法偷走别人脑中的知识
and that is why knowledge is the best and safest treasure."
所以知识是最棒最安全的宝藏"
Wow, I'm boring myself.
我自己听了都觉得无聊
Sorry, I can't see any of your faces right now,
抱歉 我现在看不到你们的表情
but I bet they look like this.
但我猜大概是这样
Uh, you know, I-I wrote an entire speech
其实 我写了整篇致辞
to say how high school prepares you
要说高中让你准备好面对未来
and what a wonderful place it is,
以及高中有多美好
but I hated it.
但其实我超讨厌高中
Maybe high school's great if you look like this...
或许有人高中过得很开心 前提是你长这样...
...but I didn't even feel like I existed at that school.
但其实我当年觉得自己超没存在感
And now that I think about it,
现在我仔细一想
I bet a lot of you feel the same way.
我猜你们很多人也有这种感觉
So, for the remainder of my speech,
所以我接下来的致辞
this is for the invisible kids.
要献给没有存在感的孩子们
Uh, maybe you never fit in.
或许你在学校格格不入
Or maybe you're the smallest kid in the school,
或许你是学校里最矮小
or the heaviest or the weirdest.
最胖的 或最怪的孩子
Maybe you're graduating
或许你都要毕业了
and you still haven't had your first kiss.
可到现在初吻还在
By the way, 19;
比如我是到19岁
and Geraldine Coco, wherever you are, thank you.
洁拉尔丁·珂珂 无论此时你在哪 谢谢你
Maybe you don't have any friends.
或许你没有任何朋友
And guess what? That's okay.
其实 这根本无所谓
While all the popular kids are off doing--
尽管那些人缘好的孩子们都去干...
whatever, I don't know what they were doing
其实我也不知道他们去干嘛了
'cause I was never there...
因为我没机会去
I'll-I'll tell you later.
我 我等会告诉你
My point is,
但我的重点是
while you're spending all this time on your own,
那些你独自一人度过的时间
building computers or practicing your cello,
比如组装电脑 或练习大提琴
what you're really doing
其实你真正在做的是
is becoming interesting.
让自己变有趣
And when people finally do notice you,
等有天别人终于注意到你时
they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought.
他们会发现一个比他们想象中更酷的人
And for those of you who were popular in high school,
至于那些高中人缘好玩得开的同学
it's over, sorry.
好日子到头了 抱歉
Thank you and congratulations.
谢谢各位 恭喜你们毕业
Your call is important to us.
你们的来电对我们十分重要
All our technicians are busy helping other customers.
目前我们所有的技术人员都在忙
Please stay on the line
请稍作等待
and someone will be with you shortly.
很快就有人来为你们服务
What happened to me?
我这是怎么了
When did I become an old man
我什么时候变成了老人
baffled by modern technology?
被现代科技所困惑
Next thing you know,
接下来
I'll be hitching my pants up to my armpits
我估计就要穿高到我腋下的高腰裤
and complaining about
然后骂骂咧咧
the awful music the kids are listening to.
现在小孩听的音乐有多难听了
It is awful, isn't it?
的确是很难听啊 对吧
Listen to that noise.
你们听听这噪音
Hang on, hang on.
等等 等等
It's working! I did it!
它好了 我成功了
How'd you do that?
你怎么做到的
No idea, but I did it!
不知道啊 但我成功了
Maybe you shouldn't be flying it inside.
不应该在室内飞吧
Well, I'm not flying it!
不是我控制它
Then who is?
那谁在控制
I don't know!
我不知道
Must be getting a WiFi signal from somewhere else!
肯定是从别的地方接收到了无线信号
Initiate landing sequence! Initiate landing sequence!
启动降落程序 启动降落程序
Hey, the camera's working!
摄像机也能用了呢
Oh, look, it's me.
看 是我呢
Tech support, can I help you?
这里是技术支持部 有何能为您效劳
Yes, it's a robot uprising! Call the police!
机器人起义了 快打给警察
So you really think they liked it?
你真觉得他们喜欢我的致辞吗
Oh, sweetie, it was the best speech I...
亲爱的 这是我这辈子听过最棒的...
Don't worry, everyone in here is safe.
不用担心 我们里面的人都安然无恙