So, what are you working on these days?
I'm studying one-celled organisms
to try and find the neurochemicals
that lead to the feeling of shame.
What would a one-celled organism have to be embarrassed about?
Same as all of us, getting out of a car without underwear.
Speaking of underwear,
I have some interesting news...
Okay, if it's sometimes Howie wears yours,
Leonard already told us.
He was being funny.
Anyway, I was asked to be a part of a magazine article
about the 50 sexiest female scientists in California.
I think it's awful.
Why would you say that?
Bernadette is a successful microbiologist.
She should be celebrated for her achievements, not her looks.
I mean, what kind of message does that send?
I think the message is-- "Check out the rack on that scientist."
Why can't someone be thought of as both smart and pretty?
I just don't think a professional woman should have
to flaunt her sexuality in order to get ahead.
Okay, what's the big deal?
Look, if it helps me make a sale with a physician,
I don't think it hurts to flirt a little.
I mean, laugh at their joke, touch their arm,
maybe crank up the AC in the car beforehand, you know,
to wake up the girls.
Maybe it's different in the world of sales,
but it's already hard enough for women
to be taken seriously in science.
I was kind of excited about the article,
but now you're making me feel bad.
No, I think you should do whatever you want.
You know, maybe if fashion magazines had female scientists in them,
I would've become a theoretical physicist.
Stop smirking at each other.
Delivery men are the unsung foot soldiers
of our nation's commerce.
It's because of people like you,
people like me can limit our human contact.
I'd shake your hand, but, well, you know.
I'm not a delivery man, I-I'm a doctor.
Although I do often deliver
alarming biopsy results to my patients.
Yeah, I-I bet you leave your patients in stitches.
That was also humorous.
Are you bringing flowers to a patient
to cushion the blow of a terminal diagnosis?
That wasn't a joke.
These are actually for a nice woman
who makes sales calls to my office.
You know, they have delivery people that will do that for you.
I was hoping to impress her
by tracking her down on the Internet
and then showing up unannounced at her door.
Making the extra effort.
Great timing, food just got here.
- Ooh, Siam Palace? - Yes.
- Uh, mee krob and chicken satay? - Yes.
- Uh, extra peanut sauce? - No, but you can have mine.
-多加花生酱了吗 -没 我的给你好了
Eh, well, very well.
Oh, and on the topic of sharing things that are yours,
there is a gentleman caller
bringing flowers to your fiancee as we speak.
Why didn't you say that first?
Why didn't you get extra peanut sauce?
We can both play this game.
Uh, does Penny live here?
I-I met her at my office, she winked at me.
I-I came hoping to initiate a romantic relationship.
Look, I'm pretty sure she didn't wink at you.
Seductively, like this.
And then she touched my arm for two Mississippis.
Like, you know, one Mississippi, two...
像这样 一大秒 两...
I got it, I got it.
I think there's been a misunderstanding.
See, Penny is my fiancee.
I've never seen her wear an engagement ring.
So, am I to presume
that her flirtation was just a sales technique?
When will I learn?
It's just like the cute girl at the pet store all over again.
Oh, uh, she touched my arm for five Mississippis,
and I bought a $2,000 iguana habitat.
Which she was always too busy to come over and see.
You give these to Penny.
You're, you're a lucky man.
You probably don't want her to see this.
It's unnecessarily graphic.
Leonard, where are your social skills?
This man is clearly upset.
We should invite him in for a hot beverage.
He tried to score with Penny.
So have these two, and they're having dinner with us.
So, how was work today?
It was fine, but you'll be happy to know
they pulled the sexy scientists article.
They just canceled the photo shoot
and said they're rethinking it.
Well, I'm really sorry,
but I think it's for the best.
You want people focusing on your achievements,
not staring at your breasts in some magazine.
It's really not that important.
Sorry, we're... we were talking about them.
So, look, I-I wasn't going to say anything,
but since you seem to be okay with the article being canceled,
I have a little confession.
I'm the reason it was pulled.
I sent the editors of the magazine
a pretty scathing e-mail.
Amy, what did you say?
I simply pointed out
that they would never consider doing an article
ranking male scientists on their sexuality,
let alone showing them in various stages of undress.
Because no one wants to see Neil deGrasse Tyson
in a wet T-shirt, bent over the hood of a Porsche.
Well, it doesn't make a difference,
because they agreed it was in bad taste,
and now you agree, so...
Amy saves the day.
No, what happened was you got jealous,
so you took away a chance for me to get some publicity.
But it was bad publicity.
That's for me to decide, not you.
As a female scientist, I think what you do affects all of us.
And I think you don't like people expressing their sexuality
because no one wants you to express yours.
Oh, Amy, I'm so sorry.
That was over the line.
You have a nice night.
Up until my vicious attack, you were the one in the wrong.
Here you go, Doctor.
Red Zinger with one teaspoon of honey.
Neat Star Trek mug.
I actually have one of the phasers from the original TV show.
How'd you get that?
Oh, easy, Gene Roddenberry needed a vasectomy.
You've snipped Gene Roddenberry's vas deferens?
Where no man has gone before
Wow, he really went where no man has gone before.
I don't like to brag, but, uh, you see,
I'm kind of the doctor to the stars' urinary tracts.
Uh, you, you want to see James Cameron's kidney stone?
He was so happy after he passed it,
he gave me a Terminator.
That is amazing.
How long have you been collecting?
Ever since I was a kid,
but, uh, I didn't really get serious
until William Shatner's bladder infection.
What'd you get? What'd you get?
Well, he said it was a tribble.
It could be a toupee,
but either way, it's pretty cool.
I-I would love to see your collection.
Uh, I've got some cool stuff.
When I first started,
I thought it would be a good way to meet women,
but, well, you know...
- Sure. - Preach.
Can I ask you a personal question?
Um, I mean, you're a guy like me,
so how'd you get a girl like Penny?
Well, you know, just...
being myself, really.
You know, I'll tell you how he did it.
Implacable, relentless badgering.
In urology terms,
he was a drug-resistant staph infection.
And she was a urethra that could not shake him.
I don't know that I'd call myself an infection.
A gallant man would defend
his fiancee for being called a urethra.
Can we please change the subject?
Well, that didn't go your way.
Dr. Lorvis, what are you doing here?
Uh, well, actually I came to see you.
Ah, that's a good question.
Apparently someone was being awfully flirty
while not wearing their engagement ring,
causing another someone to show up here
thinking the first someone might be available.
Oh, God. Don't make it so hard on her.
Look, the first someone is the deceitful you.
is the delightful Dr. Lorvis.
Oh, this is very embarrassing.
Dr. Lorvis, I am so sorry.
I did not mean to lead you on.
You touched my arm for two Mississippis.
That's why you were mumbling "Mississippi."
Can we talk in private?
I'll be right back.
So what other celebrity genitalia have you handled?
So, uh, what's the deal?
You take off your ring when you go to work?
I just put it on the other hand and...
Keep that hand in my pocket.
Well, what do you mean why?
Look, I make more sales
if these doctors think I'm single.
I did the same kind of thing as a waitress.
The real question is, what is he doing in your apartment?
So Sheldon invited him in for a hot beverage.
You were okay with that?
No. I got upset!
And Sheldon made me a beverage, too.
Okay, he just showed up at my door.
Don't you think that's a little weird?
A little, but... he's basically harmless.
- He's actually kind of a nice guy. - Okay.
Whatever, look, my company does not allow me
to socialize with doctors outside of work.
You got to get rid of him.
Why am I the one that has to get rid of him?
I can't do it! He's my best client!
All right, I'll get rid of him.
But you owe me one.
Hey, we're going to Oliver's house to see his collection.
You want to go with us?
Leonard, I was wrong.
Heaven does exist.
And it's in the basement of a urologist's house
in Sherman Oaks.
Welcome to my Fortress of Solitude.
This is where I go to get away from...
all my other solitude.
Oh, come on. It's a replica.
Oh, I think I just cheated on my wife.
The gun from Hellboy?
How did you get it?
Bought it at auction.
Oh, I was hoping for a juicy tidbit
about Ron Perlman's testicles.
Oliver! I'm going to play bingo!
Okay, Mother. Have fun.
Still lives with his mom.
Yeah, I'm not quite sure how to respond.
This-this was my game when I was a kid!
Because it's a story of a pretty blonde girl
tirelessly pursued by a small, oddly-shaped man?
No, because I liked it.
Well, now, don't get defensive.
You're oddly-shaped, but you got the girl.
So, I've noticed Leonard gets teased a lot
about his relationship with Penny.
Yes. If you'd like to join in,
the premise is their love seems unlikely and doomed to failure.
So, you think she'll be single soon?
Oh, if you want to get in on the pool,
you're too late...
All the squares have been purchased.
Excuse me, I have to take care of something.
Leonard, as your friend I feel
- I should tell you something. - What?
I'm still upset about that peanut sauce.
Oh, could you hold the door?
- Nice flowers. - Thank you.
They're for a girl.
Uh, I'm being implacable and relentless.
She keeps sending me mixed signals.
But I-I think we both want the same thing.
I guess that's all anybody wants.
Well, I hope you get it.
One Mississippi, two Mississippi.
Next game, let's switch helmets.
No, I'd look silly in that helmet.
I-I can't take these.
I mean, you want what I want.
And we had two wonderful Mississippis.
But what about the other girl?
I'll tell her we should just be friends.
Penny, we should just be friends.
You think he bites?
Stick your hand in there and find out.
You fooled me with that goat at the petting zoo.
You will not fool me again.
I wonder where Dr. Lorvis is.
He's been gone a while.
Maybe he's playing bingo with his mommy.
It's sad how some guys can't cut the apron strings.
Okay, now you're messing with me.
Uh, guys, we're locked in here.
Oh, this day just keeps getting better!
So, you just left them alone playing games in your house?
Well, they seemed happy and...
I thought that would give me time
for you and I to get to know each other better.
That was before we met.
We all have a past.
Doc, you've got to see what you're doing
is-is a little creepy.
You sound just like Sigourney Weaver
when I followed her into a restroom.
Okay, you can't just go chasing after
every girl who's nice to you.
Well, that's not what Sheldon says.
And he seems to know his way around the ladies.
Hey, Leonard. Guess who's back! Dr. Lorvis!
莱纳德 猜猜谁回来了 乐维斯医生哦
Yeah. You care to join us?
You locked them in your basement?!
Well, they're, they're not locked in.
The door just sticks.
Okay, so how do they unstick it?
They'd need the key.
We are gonna go over there right now.
And you are going to let them out.
- Three Mississippi, four Mississippi... - Move it!
-三大秒 四大秒 -快走
Oh, good, you're here.
Amy, I am so sorry.
That has to wait. This weirdo locked
- the guys up in his basement. - What?!
- She seems nice. Who's she? - Just walk.
-她人看着不错 叫啥名啊 -赶紧走
- Oh-ho! Yeah! - Yes!
- Leonard, are you okay? - Better than okay.
-莱纳德 你还好吗 -超级棒
I am having the game of my life!
Dr. Lorvis, isn't there something you want to say?
I'm very sorry for locking you in my home.
Yeah, that was very uncool.
Get the hammer! Get the hammer!
Okay, Leonard, let's go!
好了 莱纳德 我们回家吧
Well, while we wait,
would you like to see Tobey Maguire's prostate sonogram?
Uh, he was worried about nothing.