生活大爆炸 第十二季 The Big Bang Theory Season 12 第1集: 交配安排 The Conjugal Configuration
上映日期: 2,018
语言: 英语
影片类型: 喜剧 / 爱情
导演: 马克·森卓斯基
演员: 吉姆·帕森斯 / 约翰尼·盖尔克奇 / 凯莉·库柯 / 西蒙·赫尔伯格 / 昆瑙·内亚 / 梅丽莎·劳奇 / 马伊姆·拜力克 / 凯文·苏斯曼
台词
Previously on The Big Bang Theory...
《生活大爆炸》前情提要
Can you believe our little lamb is finally getting married?
你能相信我们的小羊羔终于要嫁人了吗
He can't believe it.
他肯定不信
And neither can I.
我也不敢相信
Hi, Dad. How you doing?
爸 你还好吗
Then by the power vested in me...
我以"连你都能证婚网"
by EvenYouCanPerformWeddings.Com...
所赋予我的合法权利
...I now pronounce you husband and wife.
我现在宣布你们正式结为合法夫妻
You may kiss the bride.
你可以吻新娘了
时至今日
Good morning, wife.
早安啊 老婆
Good morning, husband.
早安啊 老公
I can't believe we're actually married.
真不敢相信我们真的结婚了
It's official. According to tradition,
正式完婚了 根据传统
we should hang the bedsheets outside
我们应该把床单挂在外面
so the villagers can see that we consummated.
这样其他村民就能知道我们行房了
I don't think that that's appropriate,
我觉得这有点不太合适吧
considering where we're starting our honeymoon.
毕竟我们是在这里开始我们的蜜月之旅
Well, I suppose you're right.
你说的有道理
乐高乐园
Although, when you think about it,
不过如果你仔细想想
Lego is the perfect metaphor for marital congress.
乐高有着形容夫妻房事的最完美隐喻呢
Two pieces that interlock with a satisfying snap.
两片乐高"合体"并带有爽度十足的咔哒声
Oh, that's the sound you were making.
原来你当时发出的声音是这意思啊
Oh, I almost forgot.
我差点就忘了
While you were sleeping, I ordered room service.
在你睡觉的时候 我点了客房送餐
Really?
真的吗
Voila!
请看
You thought it was going to be food, didn't you?
你本来还以为是食物 对吧
♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
♪ The Earth began to cool
♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪
♪ We built the Wall, We built the pyramids♪
♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪
♪ That all started with a big bang ♪
大
活
炸
爆
生
第十二季 第一集
♪ Bang!♪
♪ aBu 2018 ♪
Is it nice having Sheldon and Amy away on their honeymoon?
谢尔顿跟艾米出去度蜜月你们是不是很爽啊
Yeah, because now Leonard and I get all this alone time.
是啊 因为我跟莱纳德有大把的独处时间
But you're not alone. We're here.
但你俩不能独处啊 我们在呢
Yes. Yes, you are.
是啊 你们在呢...
Would you like us to leave so you and Leonard can talk about
需要我们先行告退 好让你们夫妇有空聊
all the things you have in common?
你们之间有的共同话题吗
Ha, ha, she called your bluff.
哈哈哈 吹牛被抓到了吧
So, something pretty cool happened.
有件很酷的事情跟你们分享
Channel 3 asked me to be on the news tomorrow night
第3频道邀请我去上明晚的新闻
to talk about the meteor shower.
去聊聊即将到来的流星雨
- Oh, that's great. - Hey! Congratulations.
-那很棒啊 -恭喜你啊
You know, that's how Neil deGrasse Tyson got his start.
尼尔·德格拉斯·泰森也是这么开始火的
美国知名天文学家 常上电视节目科普算是天文科普界的红人 也是海顿天象馆的馆长
He went from the Hayden Planetarium
他从在海顿天象馆就职
to guesting on the local news
到去地方电视台当嘉宾
to ruining everyone's favorite movies on the Internet.
最后在网上吐槽毁了大家所钟爱的电影
他曾吐槽电影《泰坦尼克号》中的星空与真实情况不符导致导演在10周年纪念DVD中修改了星空
Now it's happening to me.
现在这机遇轮到我身上了
Ooh, I should probably make a list
或许我该开始列个表
of all the scientific inaccuracies in Mamma Mia 2.
写下歌舞电影《妈妈咪呀2》中的科学不合理处
You're gonna go on live TV and admit you've seen that movie?
你确定要在电视直播中承认你看过这个电影吗
Hey, your husband's the one who took me.
是你老公带我去看的
Meryl Streep and Cher? Yeah, I saw it.
影后梅丽尔·斯特里普与雪儿 小爷看过咋的
Sounds like someone's in there.
听起来像里面有人啊
My God, what if Sheldon and Amy are getting robbed?
天啊 有人进去偷谢尔顿与艾米家可怎么办
Or worse, what if they're back early?
还可能更惨 是他们提早回来了
They're not; they just posted a picture
没回来 他们刚刚发了一张
in front of the Statue of Liberty.
在自由女神像前的合影
- Real or Lego? - Lego.
-真的那尊还是乐高 -乐高
So, what should we do? Should someone go check it out?
我们该怎么做 我们谁去看看情况吗
I would, but I got to be on TV tomorrow.
我愿意 但我明天得上电视
Got to protect the money.
我得保护好我的生财机器啊
Oh, yeah, someone's definitely in there.
是的 里面绝对有人
Okay, let's go into our apartment.
好 大伙先进我们的公寓
We'll lock the door, we'll call the pol...
我们把门锁上 再打给警...
Hello?! Anyone in there?!
有人在里面吗
- Yes? - Oh, uh, Mr. Fowler.
-有事吗 -是福勒先生啊
Sorry, we didn't know you were here.
抱歉 我们不知道你在这里
We-we actually thought someone was breaking in.
我们还以为是有人偷闯入了他们家里
And we were ready to take them down.
而你当时准备好要放倒贼人了
Amy asked me to water her plants.
艾米请我来给她的植物浇水
She doesn't have any plants.
她没养植物
Well, you caught me in a lie.
好吧 被你抓到我撒谎了
Have a good day.
在下告辞
That was weird, right?
刚才很奇怪吧
Was it? I-I honestly can't tell anymore.
怪吗 我已经失去分辨怪的能力了
Hey, did you even see Mamma Mia 1?
你有看过《妈妈咪呀》第一部吗
Didn't need to. The sequel stands on its own.
不需要 这续集能自成一部
Here you go.
来
If you need any recommendations while visiting New York,
如果两位游览纽约时需要任何事物的推荐
please don't hesitate to contact me.
随时欢迎你们联系我
Well, it is our honeymoon.
我们正在度蜜月
So we are going to be quite busy.
所以我们会挺忙的
Got it.
懂了
Harry Potter play, parts one and two.
要去看哈利波特舞台剧 上下两部
And tomorrow, a tour of the sites
而明天我们要去参观
where Nikola Tesla lived, worked and slowly went crazy.
尼古拉·特斯拉居住 工作与慢慢发疯的地方
And, of course, coitus.
当然不用说 还有交媾
Well, enjoy New York. And, I guess, coitus.
那祝两位享受纽约之旅 以及...享受交媾
Really, Sheldon?
真的假的 谢尔顿
You want to do it again?
你想再来一发吗
Don't act surprised.
别一副很惊讶的样子好吗
It's clearly marked on the schedule.
明明白白写在日程表上了
Now,
我看看
shall we steam the wrinkles out of our wizard robes,
我们是应该先熨平我们巫师袍上的褶皱
or make vigorous, socially sanctioned love?
还是做一次激情并受社会认可的爱
Either way, I can check something off my to-do list.
任何一种我都能消掉一项待办事物
Socially sanc-- Oh, wow. Yeah, there it is right there.
社会认... 哇靠 还真的写了
Uh, hurry. Raj is on next.
快点 马上轮到拉杰了
All right. I can't believe they canceled Vampire Diaries
我真不敢相信他们砍了电视剧《吸血鬼日记》
but they'll show this.
却留着这破烂节目
This is the news.
这可是新闻啊
And that was a woman torn between two hunky vampires.
那剧是在说一个女人为两个帅壮吸血鬼左右为难
What is your point?
你的点是什么
Larry? I know you're in there!
拉里 我知道你在里面
Is that Amy's mom?
是艾米她妈妈吗
Let me in.
让我进
Let me in!
让 我 进
Either that or the Big Bad Wolf.
不是她妈就是来吃小猪的大坏狼
Larry?
拉里
Mrs. Fowler, are you okay?
福勒太太 你有什么事吗
Oh, I'm okay. It's my husband you should worry about.
我没事 你该担心要出事的是我老公
Oh, we do.
我们有替他担心
Larry, come on.
拉里 快开门
I don't think he's in there.
我觉得他应该不在里面
I mean, he came by to water the imaginary plants,
他当时来浇过不存在的植物
but then he left.
但后来他就走了
You are so naive.
好傻好天真
Blondie here is gonna chew you up and spit you out.
金发妹能把你生吞活剥吃干抹净 再吐出来
Well, don't tell him.
你别告诉他嘛
Come on, you have an extra key. Open it up.
快点 你们有备份钥匙 把门打开
All right, but I'm telling you
好吧 但我告诉你
he's not in there.
他不在里面
There. See?
你看 没人吧
Oh, he's in here.
他绝对在这里
I can smell his Axe body spray.
我能闻到他的斧牌身体芳香喷雾
He wears Axe body spray.
他用斧牌身体芳香喷雾呢
You happy? You smell like Amy's dad.
你高兴了吧 你闻起来像艾米她老爸
Larry? Ooh, come on.
拉里 快跟去看
Ah, shouldn't we mind our own business?
我们不应该少管闲事吗
Wow, sometimes it's like you don't know me at all.
有时候真感觉你完全不了解我
See, he's not here.
看到没 他不在这里
You don't know him like I do.
你可没有我了解他
To be fair, we don't know either of you.
老实说 我们对你俩都不了解
Satisfied?
满意了吧
Oh, yeah, now I smell him.
对 我现在闻到他了
Man, that is one hot weather girl.
天 这个天气预报女孩可真辣
How come if I say that I get in trouble?
凭什么我说这种话就得送命
You want to say it? You can say it.
你想说吗 你可以说呀
Nice try.
你想得美
You're gonna have to find some other way
今晚你得用其他的理由
to not have sex with me tonight.
来拒绝和我滚床单了
And it's not weather girl, it's weather woman.
这不是天气预报女孩 这是天气预报女郎
And with us today to talk about
今天来给我们讲解
the upcoming meteor shower and the best places to view it,
流星雨和最佳观测地点的人是
Caltech astrophysicist Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali.
加州理工天体物理学家 拉杰什·库萨帕里博士
- Thank you for being here. - Thank you for having me.
-感谢您的莅临 -感谢邀请
I guess Neil deGrasse Tyson was unavailable.
我猜你们是没请到尼尔·德格拉斯·泰森吧
Yeah.
没错
What do you mean, "Yeah"?
你说"没错"是什么意思
Not important.
不是重点
So, what can we expect to see from this meteor shower?
所以 这场流星雨的最大看点是什么
Well, I think you can count on a lot of flaming gas,
肯定会有很多可燃气体接踵而来
which is what you would have gotten
如果你的首选之人
from your first choice, Neil deGrasse Tyson.
尼尔·德格拉斯·泰森有来 也会有很多[放屁]
Pull up, Raj, pull up!
停下来 拉杰 快刹车啊
Sounds like there's no love lost between you and Dr. Tyson.
听起来你和泰森博士之间没什么爱呀
Oh, no, I love Neil.
不不 我可爱尼尔了
I mean, not as much as Neil loves Neil, but who does, right?
虽然不如尼尔自恋 但谁能比得上呢
I want to look away, but I can't.
简直不忍直视 但我眼睛舍不得转
Oh, you know, I'm told we are out of time,
导播说我们已经超出时间了
having learned nothing about meteor showers
流星雨一点没认识到
and too much about Dr. Koothrappali.
但对库萨帕里博士却了解了太多
Thank you.
谢谢收看
Do you know what I love about Broadway theater?
你知道我最爱百老汇剧场的哪一点吗
It's so interactive.
就是那种互动的感觉
Uh-huh.
嗯哼
You're so close to the actors. It's like you're in the play.
你离演员这么近 仿佛自己就融入了戏剧中
Uh-huh.
嗯哼
I mean, you yell, "Harry, watch out,"
如果你喊一声"哈里 小心呀"
he looks right at you.
他就会看向你
And not just Harry, everyone onstage.
不光是哈里 台上每个人都盯着我呢
At the risk of sounding redundant, uh-huh.
虽然可能会显多余 嗯哼
All right, well, it's a bit late,
好了 天色已晚
but I did block out the rest of the evening
不过我已经留出今晚的余下时间
for conjugal relations.
来履行我们的"夫妻之实"
Should we shower?
我们该洗澡吗
I mean before, not during.
我是说开始之前 不是中途
That's how you fall and break a hip.
人们就是这么滑倒摔破髋骨的
You know, I'm a little jet-laggy.
我还在倒时差中
Maybe we can revisit this in the morning.
早上再说吧
Oh, no can do. If we miss tonight,
不行 如果今晚不做
it's not scheduled until Thursday at 6:00.
就得等到周四的6点才能做了
And that'll have to be "No frills,"
而且那场得是无前后戏的"快版"
'cause we've got a 6:30 reservation at Benihana.
因为我们6点半还订了红花铁板烧的座呢
Sheldon, do we really have to do this on a schedule?
谢尔顿 我们必须要按时间表来做这事吗
Are you suggesting spontaneity?
你是提议我们随性而为吗
I-I guess, yeah.
我想是的
So, now that we're married, sex can occur at any time?
所以因为我们结婚了 就可能随时滚床单了吗
Like, we can be brushing our teeth,
比如 我俩正刷牙呢
and suddenly your minty-fresh tongue is in my mouth?
突然你那薄荷味的舌头就伸进了我嘴里
No, thank you.
不 还是算了
Really? Would it be so bad to mix it up a little?
真的吗 偶尔随性地"炒饭"也不行吗
Mix it up? Who are you, Betty Crocker?
还炒饭呢 你谁啊 妙厨贝蒂[食品品牌]吗
Where are you going?
你要去哪里
Uh, to take a shower.
去洗澡
Now that sex can happen at any time,
既然现在我们随时都可能滚床单
I always have to be ready.
那我就要时时做好准备
Should probably live under a waterfall.
我们不如住在瀑布底下吧
Well, you don't have to worry about sex happening tonight.
你不用担心今晚的份了
Well, thanks, but I'm still gonna rinse off.
谢谢 不过我还是要去冲一冲
I touched a lot of stuff in the gift shop.
我今天在礼品店碰了不少东西呢
No message, no note. Who would do that?
没有留信息 没有留字条 谁会这么做
What kind of husband would...
什么样的丈夫才会...
If you let him talk, maybe you'll find out.
如果你让他说话 可能你就知道了
Fine. Larry?
好吧 拉里
Well, there you go. What more can he say?
他说完了 无声胜有声
Let's go home.
我们回家吧
I think I'll stay.
我想我还是留下吧
Well, if you're going to stay, then I'll stay.
如果你留下 那我也要留下
All right, well, you know who doesn't need to stay?
好吧 你知道谁不必留下吗
Us. Come on.
我们 快走吧
Penny, come on.
佩妮 快点
I don't think those two are gonna make it.
我觉得这两人的婚姻不会长久啊
Poor Mr. Fowler, I really feel sorry for the little guy.
可怜的福勒先生 我真为他感到可怜
I know. After they had Amy,
我知道 他们有了艾米后
she should've just eaten him and been done with it.
她就该把他吃掉算了
Look at you retaining facts from a nature show.
看看你从自然节目中学到了不少啊
I know, really, what did he ever see in her?
说真的 他到底看中了她什么呀
He's so, so sweet, and she's such a ballbuster.
他人这么和善 而她简直是个泼妇
Some guys think strong women are sexy.
有的男人觉得强悍的女人性感
Yeah, but they seem to have nothing in common.
可他们看起来也没什么共同点呀
Yeah, well, sometimes opposites attract.
有时候异性才会相吸
Wait, are-are you saying we are like them?
等等 你是说我俩和他们一样吗
I don't know, maybe a little.
我不知道 有一点吧
So you're the sweet, quiet one and I'm Amy's mom?
所以你体贴又温顺 而我是艾米的老娘了
Is that what you're saying?
你是这个意思吗
Hey, check out what Neil deGrasse Tyson just tweeted.
快看尼尔·德格拉斯·泰森刚才发了推特
"I've been informed that some random,
"有人告诉我
attention-seeking nobody
某个想出名的无名小卒
took a cheap shot at me on the local news."
在本地新闻中无耻地攻击我"
That's me. Guys, he's talking about me!
是我耶 各位 他说的是我耶
You know, I cut you a lot of slack
看在你来自异国他乡的份上
'cause you come from another country,
我一直对你优待有加
but you've been here a long time.
但你来美国也不是一天两天了
Raj, you need to apologize to Dr. Tyson.
拉杰 你应该向泰森博士道歉
Why? This could be good for me.
为什么 这对我有好处呀
Everybody loves a good Twitter feud.
人人都爱看精彩的推特骂战
Neil and I could be like
尼尔和我可以成为新一代的
水果姐凯蒂·佩里和霉霉泰勒·斯威夫特曾在推特互怼
the new, uh, Katy Perry and Taylor Swift.
水果姐和霉霉
Come on, Raj, you're better than this.
拉杰 别这样 你没这么下作吧
Oh, leave room for dessert
你肚子得留点空间吃甜点
'cause I'm gonna make you eat those words.
因为我会让你把说出来的话都吃回去
"Dear Dr. Tyson,
"亲爱的泰森博士
much like epithelial tissue,
我就像上皮组织一般
it appears I've gotten under your skin."
附在你的皮肤之下[让你难受了]"
iPhone drop,
想摔手机耍帅
but I won't 'cause I don't have AppleCare.
但不行 我没有买苹果保修服务
What'd he say?
他回了什么
"Nice try, genius. The skin is epithelial tissue."
"加油啊 天才 皮肤本身就是上皮组织"
Oh, it's on.
战斗打响了
He's Katy, I'm T-Swift.
他是水果姐 而我就是霉霉
What are you gonna do? He's from another country.
你能怎么办 他可是外国人
And here we have the former hotel where Tesla
这里就是特斯拉曾经
perfected the three-phase alternating current motor.
完成三相交流电动机的前旅馆
That's wrong. I'm gonna say something.
他说错了 我得说点什么
Don't.
别说
Well, then how will everyone know I'm the smartest boy here?
不说大家怎么知道我是在场最聪明的孩子
Just let it go.
你就别纠结了
Is everything all right?
你没什么事吧
You seem testy this morning.
感觉你今天早上挺暴躁的
I'm not testy.
我没暴躁
I'll have to take your word for it.
那我只能相信你的话了
There's no test for testy.
毕竟暴躁没法测试
Is it possible that you're sexually frustrated?
你会不会是欲求不满
Okay, now I'm testy.
现在老娘真的暴躁了
If you had adhered to my coital schedule,
如果你遵守我的交媾时间表
your brain would be floating on a sea of oxytocin right now.
现在你的大脑都漂浮在催产素的海洋里了
Don't talk to me about my brain. I'm a neurobiologist.
别跟我聊我的大脑 我可是神经生物学家
Then you should know the benefits of the special hug
那你就该知道大人给彼此的特殊抱抱
that grown-ups give each other.
能带来什么好处
Sheldon, everybody's listening.
谢尔顿 大家都在听
Of course they're listening; we're interesting.
他们当然在听啦 我们这么有趣
Unlike that guy.
不像那位仁兄
I-I'm walking away from you.
我要走了
I'm only recently married.
我才刚结婚
Do I stay here? Do I follow? Say something useful.
我该留在原地 还是追上去 说点有用的
Morning, sunshine.
早上好呀 小太阳
So I see you're making espresso.
我看到你在煮浓缩咖啡
Yup.
是的
Just need that extra jolt
需要额外充电
for a successful day of ballbusting.
才能顺利当一整天的泼妇啊
Really? I don't, I don't think you do.
是吗 你好像不喝也能做到
You know, you compared us to the strangest couple we know,
你把我们跟世间最奇葩的夫妇相提并论
and we know Amy and Sheldon,
他们可是比艾米和谢尔顿
Howard and Bernadette, Raj and his twitchy little dog.
霍华德和伯纳黛特 拉杰和他的神经小狗还奇葩
I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.
抱歉 我不该那么说
Because it wasn't nice or because it wasn't true?
是因为那么说不好 还是因为那不是真的
It's not true.
那不是真的
Mrs. Fowler is an angry, vindictive woman,
福勒太太是个易怒 报复心强的女人
whereas you are warm and-and loving,
而你是如此善良暖心 温柔体贴
quick to forgive.
能快速宽恕别人的人
Oh, please.
你少来
I-I'm serious. And I'm nothing like Amy's dad.
我是认真的 再说我跟艾米的爸爸一点都不像
He's a mousy little man who can't stand up for himself.
他就是个胆小如鼠 不敢捍卫自己的小男人
My point is you're not like her, so we're not like them.
我想说的是你不像她 所以我们不像他们
Well, 30 years from now, are you gonna hide from me
三十年后 你会因为我很可怕
because I'm so scary?
而躲起来吗
Hey, I-I don't think you're scary.
我不觉得你可怕啊
Yes, I flinch when you make sudden moves, but...
你突然动的时候我是会缩一下 但...
...that says more about my childhood than you.
那更多反映的是我的童年问题 而不是你
Your turn.
轮到你了
Hang on, I'm checking to see if Neil replied
等等 我先看看尼尔有没有
to my latest smackdown.
回复我的怒怼
Really? Don't you think this Twitter feud is a little silly?
不是吧 你不觉得在推特上互怼很傻吗
Absolutely not.
当然不会了
It's-it's two respected scientists
这是两名备受尊敬的科学家
debating opposing views in a public forum.
在公共论坛辩论相反观点
You called him Mike Tyson's little sister.
你叫他迈克·泰森的妹妹
美国著名拳王
Yeah, and now Mike Tyson's mad at me, too.
是啊 现在迈克·泰森也生我气了
Raj, you're not going to impress anyone by attacking him.
拉杰 你攻击他并不会让人欣赏你
Oh, Bernadette, you sound so old right now.
伯纳黛特 你口气好老人哦
He said he needs a break, and I'm too much for him.
他说需要喘口气 他受不了我了
Oh. I'm sure he didn't mean that.
那一定不是真心话
He said I'm overbearing!
他说我超级霸道
Oh, please, you're just the right amount of bearing.
才不是呢 您只是霸道得刚刚好
Look, I know he loves you.
我知道他爱你
If you just give him some space, I'm sure he'll come back.
你给他点空间 他一定会回家的
You really think so?
你真这么想
Yeah, I do.
真的
You're a good person, Penny.
你是个好姑娘 佩妮
I hope we get to spend lots of time together.
希望我们能多多相处
Me, too.
我也是
- Yes? - Hit the road.
-什么事 -上路吧
- But... - Now!
-可是... -立刻滚
Can I get my stuff?
我能去拿我的行李吗
Be quick about it!
赶紧地
- Hello. - Hello.
-你好 -你好
I brought you two hot dogs.
我给你带了两个热狗
A-Aren't you gonna eat one?
你不吃一个吗
From a street cart? Are you crazy?
这可是从路边摊买的 你疯了吗
I'm amazed that I'm holding them.
我敢用手拿着都够让我佩服自己的了
I'm not really hungry.
我不是很饿
You realize that I'm not a particularly physical person.
你知道我是个不太喜欢肉体接触的人吧
- I know. - When I was little,
-我知道 -我小的时候
and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up,
别人问我长大想做什么时
I'd always say, "A brain in a jar."
我总是回答"装在罐子里的大脑"
Sure.
好吧
Yeah, but I want to be a good husband to you,
但我想当个好老公
and intimacy is a part of that.
而亲密关系是其中一环
Please put those down.
拜托你先把热狗放下
I'm just worried that if I don't schedule
我就是担心 如果我不安排
our bedroom endeavors, then I may not think about them,
床上运动的时间表 我可能根本就不会想起
and you'll grow cold and distant
你就会变得冷漠疏远
and seek solace in the arms of a heavily-muscled longshoreman.
到肌肉发达的码头工人怀里寻找慰藉
Where would I find a longshoreman?
我上哪儿去找码头工人
Along the shore. It's in the name.
码头啊 写得明明白白了
Sheldon, I could never be with anybody but you.
谢尔顿 除了你 我无法跟其他男人相好
That's good to know.
那我就安心了
I wouldn't want to fight a man
我可不想跟一个
who's brave enough to touch a fish.
敢摸鱼的勇士打架
How's this for a compromise?
我们互相退一步好不好
Make all the schedules you want, just don't tell me about them.
随你安排时间表 别告诉我就行
Excellent.
太棒了
I'll create an algorithm that'll generate
我会自己编写一个能自动生成
a pseudo-random schedule. Yeah, and do you know why
伪随机时间表的算法 你知道
it won't be a true random schedule?
为什么不是真随机时间表吗
Because the generation of true random numbers
因为生成真随机数字
remains an unsolved problem in computer science.
在电脑科学领域仍是未解难题
Come with me.
跟我来
- Where are we going? - To the hotel room.
-我们要去哪儿 -酒店房间
And when we get there, I'm gonna need you
等我们到了 我要你再说一遍
to say that again, except naked.
但你得脱光说
Go for Dr. K.
本座库博士
Is this Rajesh Koothrappali?
你是拉杰什·库萨帕里吗
Yes. Who is this?
我是 你是哪位
Neil deGrasse Tyson.
尼尔·德格拉斯·泰森
Uh, w-wow.
哎哟妈呀
How fun is this Twitter thing, huh?
推特上这样玩挺有意思的吧
You think you're funny?
你觉得自己很好笑吗
I'm-I'm not Seinfeld funny,
我没有《宋飞正传》那么好笑
在酒吧举行的民间脱口秀任何人都可以上台表演
but I did an open mic night once.
但我做过一次开放麦脱口秀
You're not funny.
你难笑到死
Yeah, that's what they said at the Chuckle Hut.
笑笑屋酒吧的人就是这么说的
How about this:
这样好不好
I've got a book signing at Vroman's in Pasadena next week.
我下周在帕萨迪纳的佛罗曼酒吧举办签书会
Why don't you come by and say some of those things to my face.
你来当我的面 说你在网上说的那些话怎么样
Oh, no,
不了不了
but thanks for the invite.
不过谢谢邀请
Smart move, and the next time you pick up your phone,
算你机灵 下次你拿起电话时
remember, I'm the guy who kicked Pluto out of the solar system.
记住 老子就是把冥王星踢出太阳系的人
And it deserved it, sir. Thank you. Bye-bye.
是冥王星活该 先生 谢谢 再见
Well, that was fun.
真有意思
Let's see who else needs a deGrasse kickin'.
看看谁还需要德格拉斯式"修理"
Bill Nye the Science Guy.
我是《比尔教科学》的比尔·奈
美国科学教育家 喜剧演员《比尔教科学》是他知名的科教节目
Hey, Bill. Neil Tyson.
比尔 我是尼尔·泰森
We gotta talk.
我们来谈两句