Previously on The Big Bang Theory...
We just published a few months ago.
How did you have time to design an experiment?
This whole thing is actually a gigantic accident.
You weren't even thinking about super-asymmetry?
We don't even understand it.
Uh, can you believe this?
Doctors Pemberton and Campbell have been doing
a press tour trying to take credit for super-asymmetry.
So what? I mean, no one's gonna give them credit
for accidentally discovering something.
Yeah, who remembers the guy
who was trying to find India and discovered America instead?
What was his name again?
Now stop trying to steal our Nobel Prize.
You come up with your own idea.
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
Have a seat, thanks for being here.
I feel the same way about you.
All my friends hanging out, watching Ellen.
It's like, what am I gonna do with my other two wishes?
It's not nice. She's having on the scientists
who are trying to steal our Nobel Prize.
Although I will enjoy watching her expose Pemberton and Campbell
for the coattail-riding frauds that they are.
That is Ellen's brand, gotcha journalism.
Yeah, you should've seen her take down
John Krasinski last week.
Got him to admit he loved his wife. It was brutal.
All right, our next guests
are a couple of physicists-- don't turn the channel.
They've been doing some viral videos online
about what it's like to be in the running for a Nobel Prize.
Please welcome Doctors Greg Pemberton
and Kevin Campbell.
Why does she even want to have scientists on?
Uh, silly question. Who else will give her audience
causal explanations of natural phenomena?
I love you, honey, but think.
亲爱的 我爱你 但用脑嘛
So you guys have discovered
something pretty amazing in the universe.
Obviously, I understand, uh, high-level physics
because I'm a comedian, but...
...can you explain it to the audience?
Well, I don't know, I'm not sure we're even smart enough
to understand it.
Look, look, the audience is laughing at them. It's starting.
你看你看 观众都在笑他 开始出现效果了
I hate to say it, Sheldon, but I think the audience likes them.
谢尔顿 我很不想说出这话 但观众喜欢他们
Well, that will all change when Ellen asks them
how super-asymmetry explains the cosmological excess of matter
over anti-matter and they panic,
like Leonard trying to do a pull-up.
Hey, what'd I do?
Not a pull-up.
People have been loving your videos,
especially the-the songs that you've been posting.
- Oh, thanks. - Thank you.
Uh, this may be pushing it, but I have to ask.
Would you mind singing one of those for us right now?
- Oh, why not? - All right.
Come on, Ellen, they're right there. Go for the jugular.
拜托 艾伦 猎物就在面前 咬开他们颈动脉
♪ Let's get physicist, physicist ♪
♪ 我想要物理学家 物理学家 ♪
♪ I want to get physicist ♪
♪ 我想进入物理学家 ♪
♪ Let's get into physicist ♪
♪ 进入物理学家吧 ♪
♪ Let me hear your boson talk ♪
♪ 让我听到你玻色子的声音 ♪
♪ Let me hear your boson talk... ♪
♪ 让我听到你玻色子的声音 ♪
♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
♪ The Earth began to cool
♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪
♪ We built the Wall, We built the pyramids♪
♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪
♪ That all started with a big bang ♪
Doctors Pemberton and Campbell.
I am not your buddy.
- What's wrong? - I'll tell you what's wrong.
You went on TV and were charming.
Thanks, man. That's what my mom said.
W-Why don't you come in
- and have some parfait? - Yeah,
we ordered it from room service; it cost, like, 12 bucks.
It's just yogurt in a glass.
I don't want your yogurt.
Then what do you want?
I want you to hold a press conference
where you admit that you blindly stumbled into super-asymmetry
and it was really our discovery.
You know, just because we proved something by accident
doesn't mean we didn't prove it.
Yeah, I wasn't trying to prove that my wife was cheating on me
when I came home early one Friday,
but I'm still sleeping on his couch.
I told you, you can do better than her.
Thanks. It just hurts.
And when you win that Nobel Prize, she's gonna realize
that she was wrong, you are not a fraud.
Wow, I can't believe you're siding with Linda.
Look at this. They posted another video.
It's not even about science.
They're on a celebrity bus tour.
Those are fun. I-I went on one
and saw Tom Hanks talking to his gardener.
He's even nice when you plant the wrong color azaleas.
Those guys are good at self-promoting, so what?
No one ever won a Nobel for being nice.
Yeah, but if they did,
do you know who would win one?
Are you gonna say Tom Hanks?
He picked up a shovel and helped the guy replant.
there you are. I just wanted to tell you not to worry
about this Pemberton and Campbell publicity blitz.
Not even a little bit.
Look, I-it doesn't matter if they have popular support,
we're gonna get the scientific community behind us.
He's right, the Nobel Prize is about the work,
and as your fellow scientists, we support you and Amy.
That's great, Scooby Gang.
Now, the university is gonna host
a reception for you and Dr. Fowler
where we invite as many academic luminaries as we can,
uh, give them a chance to meet you, hear about your work.
Uh, that's a great idea.
Uh, yeah. Who needs to be likable
when you have Nobel Laureates campaigning for you?
Oh, yeah-- wait a minute.
Do you not think we're likable?
That's what's great about you,
you never stop asking the tough questions.
Hey. Kids asleep?
Nope. I've been trying to get them down for hours.
Apparently, Halley's afraid of the dark now
and I can't turn on the night-light
'cause it makes Michael cry.
Why doesn't he like the night-light?
Jot that down, we can ask him as soon as he learns to speak.
We can also find out what's so damn funny about birds.
I'll go talk to her.
I don't know why she's suddenly so afraid of everything.
Honey, remember, she's my child, too.
亲爱的 别忘了 她也是我的种啊
I heard you were afraid of the dark.
I know someone else who was afraid of the dark once.
Your daddy, when he was in space.
And just like you, I was wearing a full diaper.
They're inviting several Nobel Laureates to our reception.
Oh, great, like who?
Well, I may have been less than kind to him
about his Nobel Prize win.
I was jealous, angry and new to Twitter.
It was a dangerous combination.
Okay, so scratch Kobayashi.
George Smoot's on here.
We have a history.
What about Kip Thorne?
That was a misunderstanding.
I didn't know he was right behind me.
So you've alienated everyone we need to help us?
Well, Amy, if I had known that someday we'd need them,
I would never have insulted them.
Well, that doesn't make it better.
Well, it's also not true.
Did Halley draw that at preschool?
It's supposed to be an astronaut.
And I'm supposed to be living on my own at this age,
Halley was scared and Howard told her the sweetest story
about when he was in space and I thought I could turn it
into a book for her and Michael.
Oh, well, I mean, I am an artist.
Uh, I-if you want, I could do the drawings.
Really? That'd be amazing.
Yeah, it'd be fun. And a,
a nice change of pace from what I usually draw.
What do you usually draw?
- Someone texting you? - Uh, no,
I just met my exercise goal for the day.
By doing the dishes?
Hey, you have your goals, I have mine.
- Hello. - What are you two doing?
Mm, just finishing a workout.
Do you have any cookie dough?
Uh, I think so. Let me see.
Yeah, we've got, uh, chocolate chip and oatmeal raisin.
I know at least two things wrong with that cookie.
It's for the Nobel Laureates.
We need them on our side, but unfortunately, Sheldon...
我们需要他们的支持 只可惜 谢尔顿...
No. "Unfortunately, Sheldon..." that's all you got to say.
打住 "只可惜 谢尔顿"这句话已经不言自喻了
Well, that's-- so you need these people's support
and you're sending them baked goods?
Yeah, they're pretty smart.
Don't you think they're gonna realize it's just a bribe?
No, you'd think, but sometimes brilliant people
不 你以为会被看破 可有时候
can be painfully oblivious to social cues.
Thank you for pointing that out, Sheldon.
"Sheldon Cooper"? Hmm.
"Sheldon Cooper." Aw.
Ugh, oatmeal raisin?
Oh, it's from Saul Perlmutter.
He sent me a picture.
Oh, he arranged the cookies to spell out "Thank you."
Sheldon, that word isn't "Thank."
Hi. I got you a surprise.
What-- Oh. What's the occasion?
I heard you tell Halley that story the other night,
and I thought it was so sweet
that Stuart and I turned it into a book.
The Frightened Little Astronaut?
That looks just like you.
Look how tiny and scared you look.
And the best part is,
Stuart showed it to a publisher friend of his,
and they're interested in it.
- That is so cool. - Absolutely not.
Because I don't want the whole world to know
I was the frightened little astronaut!
Maybe you should've called it The Bitchy Little Astronaut.
You want to tell me what's going on?
Is my distress that obvious?
Sheldon, please don't take this the wrong way,
but when you're quiet even for a second,
The fact is, I feel really bad for Amy.
Well, we all do.
But just for fun, why do you?
Well, she didn't do anything wrong,
but she's paying for my mistakes.
No-- I'm just honestly impressed.
When did you start caring about other people's feelings?
Well, I laughed when Amy got a shock from
the broken Christmas tree lights, so it was after that.
So none of them are coming to the reception?
Okay, what did he say that was so insulting?
Well, he may have suggested there was
an inelegance to the quadrupole normalization of Smoot's data.
See, sometimes I wish I could invent a time machine,
so I could go back and prevent myself
from acting so rashly.
Or moving forward, you could think before you speak.
But the time machine thing is probably more likely.
My problem is that I don't always know
when I've gone too far.
Well, uh, if you like, I could try to help you out.
You know, and maybe let you know if you're crossing a line.
Oh, you mean, like, with a code word?
Sure. How's "Shut up"?
That's perfect. People say it to me all the time,
no one will suspect.
- Hey, got a minute? - Sure. What's up?
-你有空吗 -有空 怎么了
Uh, Bernadette said
you weren't crazy about the book.
I just don't want anyone to ever see it
or read it or know it exists.
But this could be really good for me,
you know? Finally get my artwork published.
And-and come on, it's a, it's a cute story.
Oh, easy for you to say.
No one's gonna think you're a coward.
Are you kidding? The other day
in the comic book store, a balloon popped and I threw up.
Can't you just take my name off it?
No, uh, the only reason the publisher's interested
is 'cause a real astronaut wrote it.
Well, look, what if we made a few changes?
- What-what do you have in mind? - Well, nothing major.
But see here on the cover, where it says
frightened little, what if... I don't know
"瑟瑟发抖的小" 要是就写 比如说
It didn't say that.
So, it would just be The Astronaut?
Yeah, you're right. That doesn't quite pop.
What about... The Brave Astronaut?
See, that's got some zip to it!
And here on this page, where I'm crying.
What if, instead, I'm... punching a meteor
into the sun with my bare fists?
So you have superpowers?
I like the way you're thinking.
Uh, you know my wife, Penny.
- Sure. Hi. - Hi.
-当然 你好 -你好
Uh, we wanted to talk to you about Dr. Cooper.
Now, before you say no...
Well, then, after you say no.
Okay, look, Sheldon's a pain in the ass.
But Dr. Fowler's really nice.
So if you average them out-- math...
...you got someone who's okay.
But more than the person, the Nobel is about the work.
You should understand that more than anyone.
Yes, because of your work on gravitational waves.
You know my work?
I do. But I'm-I'm really hogging this conversation.
当然 但我说个不停 其他人说不上话了
Just give them a chance.
Uh, science has a history of difficult people.
Look at, uh, Newton, who was a jerk to Leibniz,
and Leibniz, who was a jerk to everyone.
Yeah, you know, and I don't need to tell you
that gravitational waves are disturbances in the curvature of space-time.
Or that the-- Hey, you worked on the movie Interstellar?
So what do you think?
I think if you were in space
without a shirt on, you'd die.
No, I am wearing a shirt.
It's just skintight, so you can see my pecs.
When did you get pecs?
Yesterday, when I made Stuart add them.
Howie, what I liked about the other story
was that it was real.
I mean, nothing in this actually happened to you.
So, it's a children's book.
I mean, cats don't wear hats.
And if someone gives you green eggs,
it ends with you on the toilet trying to make a deal with God.
But the real story was so sweet.
The little astronaut was afraid,
but he still went to space, and that's what made him brave.
But in space, the other astronauts...
made fun of him, and that's a thing he doesn't want to relive.
I guess it would just take a really brave man
to put an embarrassing story like that out into the world,
just so it might help some frightened children
not feel so alone.
Wow. That is quite the guilt trip.
Are you sure you're not Jewish?
I'm just a wife that is so proud of her husband,
and doesn't think that he has anything
to be embarrassed about.
You're sounding less and less Jewish.
Hey, we just heard that you're the ones
who convinced the Nobel Laureates to come.
- Thank you. - You are welcome.
You guys deserve this.
Yeah, now get out of here,
go talk to some smart people.
- Wait a minute. - Yeah, sorry. Sometimes I forget
-等一下 -对了 抱歉 我有时忘记
you're smart because you're so sexy.
- I can see that. - Yeah.
Dr. Cooper. Dr. Fowler.
I was just telling Professor Arnold how you came up with
super-asymmetry at your wedding.
It's a wonderful story.
I wouldn't say it was the highlight of the wedding,
because I've been told not to
for reasons I don't fully understand.
Uh, but what he does understand is how the universe works,
and that's what's important.
Not what comes out of his mouth.
I haven't been to a lot of parties like this,
but what does a physics rumble look like?
Kind of like angry chickens.
Or-or-or-or like, uh, when-when puppets fight.
Dr. Cooper, Dr. Fowler, good to see you.
库珀博士 福勒博士 很高兴见到你们
What are you doing here?
Professor Smoot invited us.
We're Facebook friends. Smooty!
Well, this is our reception, so go away.
I think we should let them stay.
Please, enjoy yourselves.
Try some pigs in blankets.
And yes, that is the plural.
What are you doing?
If they stay, everyone will see
that their grasp on super-asymmetry
is tenuous at best.
Yeah, I don't just know the plurals of things, Amy.
Is this gonna be a problem?
Mm? No, no, no. We have a plan.
Uh, Dr. Campbell and Pemberton,
settle a bet for Dr. Fowler and me?
We were just discussing, under what conditions
the radiative corrections to super-asymmetry
could cause time variation of alpha E.M.?
I say active galactic nuclei at cosmological distances
show a part per million deviation.
this has been disproven recently with quasar observations.
I agree with you.
Hey, uh, if we haven't said it before,
we just want to say... thank you.
Yeah. We couldn't have proven super-asymmetry without you.
对 没有你们 我们不可能证实超不对称性理论
Wait-wait. You all heard them say it.
They didn't do anything.
- Sheldon. Shut up. - Yeah-- Well, that's rude.
-谢尔顿 闭嘴 -你真没礼貌
Oh, the code word, thank you.
You know, it's strange. A few months ago,
nobody paid any attention to us, and now all of a sudden,
we're getting all these accolades.
Yeah, have-have any of you ever felt like
maybe you didn't deserve it?
Leonard, there's something I need to say.
- Shut up. - Okay.
It's crazy. We conclusively proved super-asymmetry,
and yet somehow we, we still feel like imposters.
There should be a term for that.
Oh, for crying out loud, there is a term for that!
It's called "Imposter syndrome"
and you don't have it!
Because you can't have it if you are imposters,
who discovered super-asymmetry!
So if anyone's gonna feel like
they have imposter syndrome,
it's us, because we're not imposters! They are!
那也是我们 因为我们不是冒名顶替者 他们才是
You're imposters and you're frauds!
- Is that what I would've sounded like? - Yeah.
-我如果发神经病 也是像这样吗 -对
Once upon a time, there was a little astronaut
who's sitting in a rocket, waiting to go to space.
And while all the other astronauts laughed and joked,
he stayed quiet. Because he had a secret.
And another secret, too.
He's only pretending to be scared to trick the Alien King.
Fine. There was no alien.
There was a bossy wife, though. We'll get to her later.