生活大爆炸 第二季 The Big Bang Theory Season 2 第1集: Bad Fish范式 The Bad Fish Paradigm

上映日期: 2,008

语言: 英语 / 北印度语

影片类型: 喜剧

导演: 查克·罗瑞 / 比尔·布拉迪

演员: 吉姆·帕森斯 / 约翰尼·盖尔克奇 / 凯莉·库柯 / 西蒙·赫尔伯格 / 昆瑙·内亚 / 莎拉·吉尔伯特 / 克里斯汀·芭伦斯基 / 凯文·苏斯曼 / 乔迪·琳·欧基菲 / 凯缇·萨克霍夫 / 吴汉

so you see what you eating is not technically yogurt,
知道了吧 你吃的这个 不算是真的酸奶酪
because it doesn't have enough live acidophilus cultures.
因为里面没有足够的 活的嗜酸培养菌
It's really just ice milk with carrageenan added for thickness.
只不过是冰牛奶里加了点 角叉胶 增加粘稠度
Oh,that's very interesting.
喔 真有意思哈
It's also not pink and has no berries.
它也不真是粉红色 也没有天然浆果粒
Yeah,but it doesn't really answer my question.
嗯 可这也没有回答我的问题呐
What was your question again?
Do you want some?
Right. No.
对对 不用了
- I'm lactose intolerant. - Right.
- 我受不了乳糖的 - 对哦
- So,gas. - Yeah,got it.
- 吃了会放屁的 - 好吧 明白了
Well... good night.
那么... 晚安了
What are you doing?
Oh,there's a draft.
哦 那边有阵风
I didn't feel a draft.
Why don't we just go into,uh,your...
那我们还是去... 你的...
Yeah,you know what,maybe we should slow things down a little.
我说 也许我们不该那么着急
No,no,I didn't mean to go into your apartment to go fast.
不 我不是说要去你公寓 去急着干嘛干嘛
No,I know.
当然了 我知道
I know what you meant,it's just... this is only our first date.
我知道你不是那意思 只是... 这才是咱俩第一次约会
Yeah,okay,sure,no problem.
嗯 好啊 没问题
Why don't we just figure out where we're going and when we want to get there,
那我们就先想想 下次要去哪儿 准备啥时候到那儿
and then rate of speed equals distance over time.
这样距离除以时间 就知道速度了呗
Solve for R.
Or we could just wing it.
That might work,too.
- Good night,Leonard. - Good night.
- 晚安 莱纳德- 晚安
He's coming-- screensaver!
他来了 快上屏保!
Oh,hey,Leonard. How was your date?
嘿 莱纳德约会怎么样哇?
Bite me.
Sheldon,how could you just sit there and let them spy on me?
谢尔顿 你怎么能傻坐着 眼睁睁看他们监视我呢?
They were clever,Leonard.
他们油菜啊 莱纳德
They exploited my complete lack of interest in what you were doing.
他们完全明白 我对你那些破事儿 一点兴趣没有
You should thank us.
When future generations try to determine why your relationship with Penny crashed and burned,
要是后来人想弄明白 你和佩妮的恋情为啥会土崩瓦解
this right here is the black box.
What are you talking about? The date went fine.
你胡说什么 约会挺好的
Dude,she said she wants to slow things down.
拜托 她都说了 想要慢慢来
Okay,so she said she wants to slow things down.
好吧 她是说了 想要慢慢来
It's like saying,"I'm really enjoying this meal.
意思差不多就是 "今天的晚餐我非常喜欢
I'm going to slow down and savor it."
我得慢慢来 好好回味一下"
No,it's like,"This fish tastes bad,
才怪 她的意思是 "这鱼真难吃死了
so I'm gonna slow down and spit it out."
我得慢慢来 吐光了它"
- You being the fish. - I'm not the fish.
- 这臭鱼说的就是你! - 我才不是这臭鱼呢
Oh,really? Did you make a second date?
真的? 你俩定了下一次约会吗?
Well,no,we sort of decided to wing it.
这倒没有... 我们说好了 到时候再想
Oh,even I know that's lame.
得了吧 连我都觉得这太逊了
Okay,all right,let's assume your hypothesis.
行啊 咱就说说你的假设
We went to dinner,we talked,we laughed,we kissed.
我们一起去吃饭 有说有笑 有吻有抱
Where could I have possibly gone wrong?
Think back,Leonard.
你好好想想 莱纳德
The littlest things can set women off.
Like,"Hey,the waitress is hot,I bet we could get her to come home with us."
比方说 "嘿 这服务生真辣 我打赌 肯定能让她跟咱回家"
Or,"How much does your mom weigh?
或者 "你妈妈有多重呐?
I want to know what I'm getting into."
I didn't say anything like that.
Good,'cause they don't work.
很好 因为这么说不管用
They also don't care for it if you stare at them and hyperventilate.
她们也不关心 你是不是盯着她们 呼吸加速
Sadly,that's my home run swing.
挺惨的 在我们家 这就像是家族传统
Look,everything went fine.
我说 一切都挺好的
I didn't even have to refer to my impromptu conversation starters.
That woman across the hall is into me.
走廊对面那个女孩 就是喜欢我嘛
Let's go to the tape.
Look at her reaction to the good night kiss.
你瞧她临别一吻的时候 那反应
No change in respiration,pupils un-dilated,no flushing of the chest.
呼吸平稳 瞳孔没有放大 胸口也没啥起伏
Nice close-up,by the way.
Interesting. Her jaws are clenched: no tongue access.
有意思嘿 她的下巴很紧 也没有用舌头
Clearly a bad sign amongst mating humans.
对于寻偶期的人类来说 这可不是啥好消息
That's not a bad sign.
Please,you might as well have been two iguana with no dewlap enlargement.
得了吧 还不如说你们是两只鬣蜥 只是喉部没有垂肉罢了
And the worst sign of all is you're here and not there.
最糟的就是 这会儿你不在她家 而在这里!
I'm not there because I'm taking things slow,which,
我不在她家 因为我也决定慢慢来 这个...
by the way,compared to you guys,approaches warp speed.
跟你们比起来 都快接近星际速度了
And take down that camera.
He was a lot more fun when he had no hope.
他心里没牵没挂的时候 真有意思多了
Give him time.
你好啊 佩妮
FYI,the hot water is inadequate on machine two,so colors only,
顺便说句 2号机器的热水不足 别深色浅色混着洗
and four is still releasing the fabric softener too early in the cycle,
4号机器呢 洗衣程序中 还是会提前放出织物柔顺剂
so I'd avoid using that for your delicates.
所以你那些精致的衣服 还是别用那台了
Oh,good Lord...
why don't you just take your clothes down to the river and beat them with a rock?
你还不如把衣服拿到河边 搁在石头上猛捶一阵
Sheldon,can I ask you a question?
谢尔顿 我问你个问题行不?
I would prefer that you not,but I won't go so far as to forbid it.
我当然最好你别问 不过也不会阻止你
All right,I heard yes,so...
那... 我就当你同意了...
Okay,here's my question.
Has Leonard ever dated,you know,a regular girl?
莱纳德以前有没有 跟正常的女孩子约会过?
Well,I assume you're not referring to digestive regularity.
我想你指的 应该不是消化功能正常吧
Because I've come to learn that such inquiries are inappropriate.
要是那样的话 我想这问题问的不合适
No,I meant,has he ever been involved with someone who wasn't a brainiac?
我是说 他有没有跟 没那么大学问的女孩子谈过?
Well,a few years ago,he did go out with a woman who had a PhD in French literature.
话说几年前 他确实跟一个 学法国文学的女博士有过一段儿
How is that not a brainiac?
Well,for one thing,she was French.
理由一 她是法国人
For another,it was literature.
理由二 她读的是文学
do you think that if Leonard and I keep dating,he'll eventually get bored with me?
如果我和莱纳德继续好下去 他会不会有一天觉得我很没劲啊?
- That depends. - On what?
- 那得看情况 - 什么情况?
- Do you have a working knowledge of quantum physics? - No.
- 你懂量子物理吗? - 不懂
- Do you speak Klingon? - No.
- 你会说克林贡语(《星际迷航》影片中的外星语)吗? - 不会
- You know any card tricks? - Okay,you know what...
- 你会耍牌吗? - 行了 我说...
I get it.
Leonard has no business being involved with a waitress-slash-actress
莱纳德和一个服务员兼二流演员 没有共同语言
who felt so insecure that she lied to him about finishing community college.
而且她还骗他说 上完了社区大学 心里正发慌呢
Why would you lie about that?
Well,he was going on and on about this college and that grad school,and I...
他总是在说这大学怎样 那个研究生院怎么样 我就...
I didn't want him to think I was some kind of stupid loser.
You thought the opposite of "stupid loser" was "community college graduate"?
你觉得"很傻很衰"的反义词 是"社区大学毕业生"?
You know,there are a lot of successful people in this country who are community college graduates.
很多成功人士 都是从社区大学毕业的
Yeah,but you are neither.
没错 可你哪个都挨不上边
Right. Okay,look,this is between you and me.
对 好吧 你得替我保密
You cannot tell Leonard any of this.
- You're asking me to keep a secret? - Yeah.
- 你要我保守秘密? - 是的
Well,I'm sorry,but you would have had to express that desire before revealing the secret,
那真对不起了 你应该在说出秘密前 表达出要我保密的意思
so that I could choose whether or not I wanted to accept the covenant of secret keeping.
我好选择 到底要不要替你保密
You can't impose a secret on an ex post facto basis.
你事后再说 这怎么行呢
Secret keeping is a complicated endeavor.
One has to be concerned not only about what one says,
but about facial expressions,autonomic reflexes.
还得注意面部表情 习惯性反应
When I try to deceive,I myself have more nervous tics than a Lyme disease research facility.
我说谎的时候 因为紧张产生的壁虱(tick) 比莱姆关节炎研究设备产生的还多
It's a joke.
It relies on the homonymic relationship between "tick,"
同音词嘛 "tick"是指
the bloodsucking arachnid,and "tic," the involuntary muscular contraction.
吸血寄生虫(壁虱) 而"tic"是无意识的肌肉痉挛
I made it up myself.
Okay,look,if Leonard finds out that I lied,I will absolutely die of embarrassment.
听着 如果莱纳德发现我说谎 我一定羞愧自尽了
Physiologically impossible.
哦 谢尔顿 拜托
Look,I am asking you as a friend.
So you're saying that friendship contains within it an inherent obligation to maintain confidences?
照你这么说 朋友就要无条件的保守秘密?
One more question,and perhaps I should have led with this.
再一个问题 或许应该这样问
When did we become friends?
i.e.,I couldn't become Green Lantern unless I was chosen by the Guardians of Oa,
也就是说 要不被总部守护先知选中 我就成不了绿灯侠(漫画人物)
but given enough start-up capital and an adequate research facility,I could be Batman.
但如果给我足够的启动资金和 足够的科研设备 我就能成为蝙蝠侠
- You could be Batman? - Sure. I'm Batman. See?
- 你能成为蝙蝠侠? - 当然 我就是蝙蝠侠 看见没?
- Hi,guys. - Hi,Penny.
- 嗨 伙计们 - 嗨 佩妮
Penny,if you're not doing anything Friday night,I thought maybe we could go see a movie.
佩妮 你周五晚上有空的话 我们去看电影吧
Oh,um,you know,I think I have the dinner shift on Friday.
呃 我周五晚上要轮班
Okay,what about Saturday?
好吧 周六呢?
You know,I'm not sure; the manager hasn't posted the schedule yet.
说不准 经理还没公布排班表呢
- How about I let you know? - Great.
- 出来了 我再告诉你? - 很好
So you just let me know when you know. Okay,so...
那你知道了就告诉我 好的 那...
Oh,God,I am the bad fish.
天呐 我就是那条臭鱼
What did I do wrong?
Why are you asking me?
I have no information about your interactions with Penny other than what you have provided me,
你和佩妮的事儿 除了你已经告诉我的 我啥也不知道
nor do I have any method of learning such things.
- What does that mean? - Nothing.
- 这话什么意思? - 没什么
You seem to be implying an informational back-channel
你说的倒像是 我和佩妮背地里通了气
between me and Penny where obviously none exists.
很明显 这是没有的事
No,I didn't.
没 我没觉得
I just think you need to be careful how you phrase things,sir.
我想你要注意你的表达了 先生
What's going on with you?
I might ask you the same question.
Why do you insist on attempting to drag me into matters which have nothing to do with me,
那些跟我无关的事儿 你何必非要把我扯进去?
but exist between you and Penny,a person to whom I barely speak?
都是你和佩妮之间的事 我跟她连话都不怎么说的
What's wrong with your face?
There's no reason to bring my looks into this.
我脸这样 没啥原因
- Good day,Leonard. - What
- 祝你今天过的愉快 莱纳德- 什么?
I said,"Good day."
我说 "祝你今天过的愉快"
Good day?
Also today,we have a fresh-caught Alaska salmon,
今天还为您供应 新鲜的阿拉斯加大马哈鱼
and that's served with a teriyaki glaze and sticky rice.
Our soup of the day is...
You must release me from my oath.
Sheldon,I'm working.
谢尔顿 我在工作
Why don't you take a minute to decide?
I can't keep your secret,Penny.
我不能保守你的秘密了 佩妮
I'm going to fold like an energy-based de novo protein in conformational space.
我就像构象空间里 基于能量的内源蛋白 要折叠起来了 (fold 也有失败的意思)
Like a Renaissance tryptich.
就像是文艺复兴时期的三联画 (教堂祭坛上的饰物 两翼可向内折叠)
Like a cheap suit.
Look,why is it so hard for you to keep one little secret?
你保守个小秘密 咋就这么难呢?
I'm constitutionally incapable.
That's why I was refused clearance for a very prestigious government research fellowship
所以我上次申请那项高端政府研究奖学金 证明开不出来
at a secret military supercollider located beneath a fake agricultural station
项目里的超级对撞机 位于密歇根州 特拉弗斯城东南12.5英里的
12.5 miles southeast of Traverse City,Michigan.
Which you did not hear about from me.
Look,just forget I told you about me...
not graduating from community college,okay?
社区大学没毕业 好吗?
Forget? You want me to forget?
别老记着? 这能忘得掉吗?
This mind does not forget.
我这脑子 啥东西忘得掉啊!
I haven't forgotten a single thing since the day my mother stopped breastfeeding me.
从我妈给我断奶后 我就没忘掉过一件事
- It was a drizzly Tuesday. - Okay...
- 那天是周二 下着毛毛雨 - 好了...
Look,you promised me you would keep my secret,
so you're just gonna have to figure out a way to do it.
Leonard,I'm moving out.
What do you mean you're moving out? Why?
什么叫"要搬出去"? 为什么?
There doesn't have to be a reason.
Yeah,there kinda does.
是啊 总该有吧
Not necessarily.
This is a classic example of Munchausen's Trilemma.
Either the reason is predicated on a series of sub-reasons leading to an infinite regression,
要么就是 这个前提通过一系列 不断弱化的次前提 已经得到阐述
or it tracks back to arbitrary axiomatic statements,
要么就是 能从所谓偶然的公理陈述中 找到答案
or it's ultimately circular,
i.e.I'm moving out because I'm moving out.
也就是说 因为我要搬出去 所以我要搬出去
I'm still confused.
Leonard,I don't see how I could have made it any simpler.
Hey,qu'est que s'up?
嘿 伙计们 还好吗?(蹩脚法语)
We just got back from that exhibit of those plasticized human cadavers.
And some of those skinless chicks were Hot!
那些个没皮的小妞儿 真是辣哟!
If you'll excuse me,I'm going to pack.
抱歉 我得去收拾了
That's kind of an overreaction to a little harmless necrophilia.
他对我单纯的恋尸癖 反应还真大
It's not you,Howard. He says he's moving out.
霍华德 不关你事 他说他要搬出去
What did you do?
Did you change the contrast or brightness settings on the television?
Did you take a Band-Aid off in front of him?
Did you buy generic ketchup,forget to rinse the sink,
你买了三无番茄酱? 忘了洗水池?
talk to him through the bathroom door?
Adjust the thermostat,cook with cilantro,pronounce the "t" in often?
调了恒温器? 煮菜放了芫荽叶? "t"那音总是忘了发?
Did you make fun of trains?
No,I didn't do anything. He's just gone insane.
没有 我啥都没干 他疯了
Well,we all knew this day was coming.
也是 这天迟早会来的
Well,that was fast.
It's my pre-packed disaster evacuation bag.
It's recommended by the Department of Homeland Security.
And Sarah Connor.
还有莎拉·康纳 ("终结者"女主人公)
Where are you going to live?
Until I find a permanent place,I will stay with friends.
在我找到寓所之前 我先在朋友家挤挤
Well... you can't stay with me.
呃... 你不能住我那儿
I have a teeny-tiny apartment.
Excuse me,but isn't hosting guests an aspect of "manushya yajna,"
one of the five central religious duties or sacrifices of the Hindu householder?
I hate trains.
Don't be ridiculous,you love trains.
别开玩笑了 你可喜欢火车了
Yes,I do. Come on.
啊 没错 来吧
See you later,Leonard.
回见 莱纳德
This could work.
This is a very old building.
60 years. It used to be a watch factory.
造了六十年了 以前是手表厂
Don't you worry about the residual radium from the luminous dials?
Not until now!
I can't believe I didn't bring my Geiger counter.
我竟然没带盖格计数器 (用于测量放射性物质)
I had it on my bed and I didn't pack it.
就在床头 我居然没拿
Well,if you're not comfortable staying here,Sheldon...
那么... 谢尔顿 要是你觉得住着不舒服
I'm kidding,I packed it.
我开玩笑的 我带来了
It was a joke.
I was subverting the conversational expectations.
I believe they call that the,uh,ol' switcharoo.
那叫啥来着 "出其不意"
Is that woman Aishwarya Rai?
Yes,isn't she an amazing actress?
是的 她是个很棒的演员吧
Actually,I'd say she's a poor man's Madhuri Dixit.
我倒觉得她是可怜虫心中的玛杜瑞·迪克西特 (印度90年代知名影星 后结婚生子)
How dare you!
Aishwarya Rai is a goddess.
By comparison,Madhuri Dixit is a leprous prostitute.
相比之下 玛杜瑞·迪克西特 就是得麻风病的妓女
Sorry,I didn't mean to offend you.
对不起 我没想到会冒犯你
Obviously,you're not that familiar with Indian cinema.
Who is it?
Tag,you're It.
Shouldn't you put him in a brown paper bag and set him on fire?
你就不能把他塞进牛皮纸袋里 烧了算了?
I've never slept on an air mattress before.
No lumbar support whatsoever.
Maybe you'd be happier on a park bench.
I don't see any way to get a park bench in here.
我认为 你没有办法把长椅弄到这儿来
Do you want to switch?
No,that's fine.
不用了 这样挺好
I'm perfectly comfortable sleeping on a bouncy castle.
Get out of bed. We're switching.
下床来 我和你换
- Now,only if you want to. - Just get in the bed!
- 我没逼着你换 - 快下床!
What's going on?
Are you boys roughhousing?
你们两个臭小子 闹什么闹?
We're just talking,Ma!
老妈 我们只是在聊天!
If you don't settle down right now,
I'm not going to let you have any more sleepovers!
For God's sake,Ma,I'm 27 years old!
老天啊 老妈 我都27了!
And it's not even a school night!
Comfy now?
That poster of Halle Berry is a little unnerving.
那张哈莉·贝瑞(好莱坞女星 曾出演猫女)的海报让我有点紧张
So don't look at it.
She's like my fourth favorite Catwoman.
No kidding.
Yeah,Julie Newmar,Michelle Pfieffer,Eartha Kitt,and then her.
对 前三个是朱莉·纽曼 米切尔·菲佛尔 和伊尔特·基特
What about Lee Merriweather?
Oh,I forgot about Lee Merriweather.
噢 我把她忘了
Well,I'm glad that's settled.
好吧 终于搞定了
That makes Halle Berry my fifth favorite Catwoman.
It's Julie Newmar,Michelle Pfieffer,Eartha Kitt,Lee Merriweather--
朱莉·纽曼 米切尔·菲佛尔 伊尔特·基特 李·梅里韦瑟...
Please,I'm begging you. Go to sleep.
求求你了 睡觉吧
I'm trying. I'm counting Catwomen.
我在努力嘛 都在数猫女郎了
She did make a fine mutant in the X-Men movies,though.
Oh,for God's sake.
噢 我求求你了
She's not my favorite of the X-Men.
In order that would be: Wolverine,Cyclops--
要排序的话应该是:金钢狼 雷射眼
Oh,wait,I forgot Professor X.
噢 等等 我忘了X教授
Professor X,Wolverine,Cyclops,Iceman,then Storm,Angel,the Beast--
X教授 金钢狼 雷射眼 冰人 然后是暴风女 天使 还有野兽
不对 等等 还有蓝魔人
Professor X,Nightcrawler,Wolverine,Cyclops,Iceman,then Storm,Angel...
X教授 蓝魔人 金钢狼 雷射眼 冰人 暴风女 天使...
I'm coming!
There he is. There my old buddy bud bud.
是他 我的老-伙-计
What's with him?
Koothrappali dumped him on me,and he couldn't get to sleep,
Koothrappali把他扔给了我 他睡不着觉
so I gave him a glass of warm milk with a handful of my mom's Valium in it...
所以我给他倒了杯温牛奶 里面放了一把我妈的安眠药
but he still wouldn't shut up,so tag,you're It.
可他还是不肯住嘴 得了 还给你吧
I'm ba-a-a-ack.
I still don't know why you left.
I can't tell you.
Why not?
I promised Penny.
You promised Penny what?
I wouldn't tell you the secret.
What secret? Tell me the secret.
什么秘密? 快告诉我
Mom smokes in the car.
Jesus is okay with it but we can't tell Dad.
耶稣觉得没问题 不过不能告诉老爸
Not that secret. The other secret.
不是这个 另一个秘密
- I'm Batman-- Shh! - Damn it! Sheldon!
- 我是蝙蝠侠 嘘! - 我靠! 谢尔顿!
You said Penny told you a secret. What's the secret?
你说 佩妮跟你说了个秘密 什么秘密?
Okay,I'll tell you,but you can't tell Leonard.
好吧 我告诉你 不过你不能告诉莱纳德
I promise.
Penny lied about graduating from community college
佩妮说她是社区大学毕业 其实没这回事
'cause she's afraid she's not smart enough for Leonard.
因为她怕自己不够聪明 配不上莱纳德
So it's nothing I did? It's her problem?
不是我做错什么了? 是她的问题?
I drank milk that tasted funny.
我喝了杯牛奶 味道真好玩儿
Penny thinks I'm too smart for her. That's ridiculous.
佩妮觉得我太聪明 这也太搞笑了
I know.
Most of your work is extremely derivative.
你的大部分工作 都不是原创的
And don't worry,that's not a secret.
别担心 这就不是秘密了
Everybody knows.
Listen,I know what's been bothering you about us,and I have the answer.
听着 我已经知道我们之间的问题了 我也有了解决方案
What are you talking about?
Okay,first,I want to say that it's not Sheldon's fault.
好的 首先 这不是谢尔顿的错
He tried very hard to keep your secret.
If Howard hadn't drugged him,he would've taken it to his grave.
要不是霍华德给他灌了安眠药 他是不会自掘坟墓的
He told you?
Yes,but it's okay.
是的 不过这没关系
Now that we know what the problem is there's a simple solution.
既然我们都知道问题何在 要解决岂不是很容易
Pasadena City College?
A place for fun,a place for knowledge.
"给你知识 给你乐趣"
See,this man here is playing hackey-sack,and this girl's gonna be a paralegal.
看见没? 这男的在玩沙包球 那女的会成为律师助手
Oh,I get it.
噢 我明白了
Because Dr. Leonard Hofstadter can't date a girl without a fancy college degree.
莱纳德·霍夫施塔特博士没法和一个 没有名牌大学文凭的女孩子谈恋爱
Well,it's really not that fancy.
嗯... 其实这也不是个名校
It's just a city college.
Right,but I have to have some sort of degree to date you?
没错 不过要和你约会 总得有个学位什么的是吧?
That doesn't matter to me at all.
So it's fine with you if I'm not smart.
Okay,this time,I know where I went wrong.
好吧 这次我知道我错在哪儿了
Bite me!