生活大爆炸 第二季 The Big Bang Theory Season 2 第10集: Vartabedian之谜 The Vartabedian Conundrum

上映日期: 2,008

语言: 英语 / 北印度语

影片类型: 喜剧

导演: 查克·罗瑞 / 比尔·布拉迪

演员: 吉姆·帕森斯 / 约翰尼·盖尔克奇 / 凯莉·库柯 / 西蒙·赫尔伯格 / 昆瑙·内亚 / 莎拉·吉尔伯特 / 克里斯汀·芭伦斯基 / 凯文·苏斯曼 / 乔迪·琳·欧基菲 / 凯缇·萨克霍夫 / 吴汉


台词
I don't see anything at all, Sheldon.
我什么都没看到 谢尔顿
Well, you're the doctor, but I am constantly hearing this annoying sound.
你是医生我听你的 但确实 老有烦人的声音在我耳边响
Me, too.
没错
Is it a high-frequency whistle?
是一种高频的口哨声吗
No, it's more of a relentless,
不 是一种时刻不停的
narcissistic drone.
自以为是的唠叨
Yup, there's no inflammation at all, Sheldon.
没有任何炎症 谢尔顿
Then it must be a tumor.
那我肯定得肿瘤了
I Seriously doubt it.
我深表怀疑
Maybe it's a lingering bacterial infection
也许是以前小时候常把头塞进马桶冲水
from all those childhood toilet swirlies.
造成的永久性细菌感染
Is that possible? I used to get those all the time.
真的会这样吗 我以前经常这么干的
Even in church.
甚至在教堂里
Well if it is from a swirly, there something I can do.
如果是因为这个的话 我倒有个办法
Okay, circle, circle, dot, dot,
圈 圈 点 点
now you have a cootie shot!
虱子不再烦扰你[美国儿歌]
I'm going to bed
我去睡觉了
Okay, I'll be right in.
好的 我马上就来
It's not enough that she mocks me, but that isn't even
她不光是在嘲笑我 而且
the correct procedure for a cootie shot.
把打预防针的流程也搞错了
Do you understand that Stephanie's not here
你知道斯蒂芬妮到这里来不是为了
to treat your imaginary ailments?
帮你治疗你那些臆想的毛病吧?
How is it imaginary that I keep hearing an octave above Middle C?
怎么可能是臆想 我老是听见一种高于中央C的八度音
Is that imaginary?
这是臆想吗
I don't think so.
我看不是
Good night.
晚安
Leonard,there's one more thing.
莱纳德 还有件事
Under Article One, Section Three of our Roommate Agreement,
根据我们的合租协议第一章第三段
I'm calling an emergency meeting.
我要召开一个紧急会议
No, you're not.
你不是吧
Leonard moves the meeting not occur.
莱纳德提议不要开会
Is there a second? None heard, the motion fails.
有人同意么 没有 提议不予采纳
I'd like to begin the meeting by congratulating you
在会议的开头 我想祝贺你
on the progress in your relationship with Dr. Stephanie.
和斯蒂芬妮医生恋情有了进展
Thank you.
谢谢
That being said, we have to discuss
那也就是说 我们必须讨论
the implementation of the agreed upon "cohabitation" rider
对于"同居"附加条例的执行问题
whichas been activated now that
因为你们两人现在
the two of you are living together.
已经住在一起了
We're not living together.
我们没有啊
I beg to disagree
我有不同意见
"A girlfriend shall be deemed
某女性被认定为
quote living with un-quote Leonard
跟莱纳德 前引号 同居 后引号
when she has stayed over for A: ten consecutive nights,
的时间条件是 第一 连续十晚
or B: more than nine nights in three week period,
或第二 三周之内超过九晚
or C: all the weekends of a given month
或第三 一个月之内的所有周末
plus three weeknights.
再加上三个非周末
That's absurd.
这太荒唐了
You initialed it. See? L.H., L.H., L.H.
你自己都签名了 看 莱 莱 莱
Wait, I only initialed it because I never thought it would happen!
我签名的原因是因为 我觉得这些条例永远都用不上的
I initialed another clause
我还签了一条
naming you my sidekick in case I get superpowers.
上面说如果我有超能力的话 就让你做我搭档
Hmm, yes, you did.
是啊 没错
Now, to review the following provisions are hereby activated:
我们再来温故一下需要执行哪些条例
In the refrigerator, as opposed to us having two separate shelves and one communal shelf,
在冰箱里 我们不能再使用 两个单人层和一个公用层了
the three of us now get individual shelves and the door becomes communal.
现在我们三个人每人使用一层 然后冰箱门变作公用
Next, apartment vacuuming shall be increased from two to three times a week
下一条 房间清扫工作 应从每周两次增加为每周三次
to accommodate the increased accumulation of dead skin cells.
以解决日益增加的死皮细胞
Third,the bathroom schedule. Now, I'm given to understand
第三 厕所使用时间表 我了解到
women have different needs, so, we'll have to discuss that.
女人对厕所的用法有所不同 所以我们应该讨论一下
I'm going to bed.
我去睡觉了
At least take this with you.
你至少也得把这带走吧
Look, and have Stephanie initial here, here, here, here...
别忘了让斯蒂芬妮签名 这里 这里 这里
and... here.
还有 这里
This states that she does not now
这一条规定 从现在起她不能
nor does she intend to play a percussive or brass instrument.
也不准计划演奏打击乐器或者铜管乐器
Sure sounds like a tumor pressing on the auditory nerve.
肯定是肿瘤 压迫听觉神经了
No, absolutely not.
绝对不行
It's not a big deal.
这又没什么
We have latex gloves.
我们有卫生手套的
I don't care what the symptoms are,
我不管你出现了什么症状
my girlfriend is not going to give you a prostate exam.
我女朋友是不会帮你做前列腺检查的
Hi, Sheldon.
谢尔顿
Good morning, Dr. Stephanie.
早上好 斯蒂芬妮医生
I trust Leonard satisfied you sexually last night.
我想莱纳德昨晚肯定让你性福了吧
Sheldon, we don't ask questions like that.
谢尔顿 这种问题不能随便问的
I heard you ask it over and over.
那我怎么总听到你在问啊
How is it inappropriate for me to ask it once?
我只问一次怎么就错了
He did very nicely.
他非常棒
See? She's not offended.
看见没 她不生气
And now you finally have an answer.
而且你也得到结果了
Out of coffee. Need coffee.
没咖啡了 需要咖啡
Oh, hello.
你好
Hi! Stephanie, right?
斯蒂芬妮 是吗
Uh-huh. And-And- And you are?
是 你...你是
Penny, I live across the hall.
佩妮 我就住对门
I've heard a lot about you.
我听说了你很多事情
Really? Mm-hmm.
是吗
I haven't heard a thing about you.
怎么没人跟我提起你啊
Leonard?
莱纳德
Why haven't I heard a thing
为什么你从来都没跟我说起过
about this woman who lives across the hall
这个住在你对门的
and comes into your apartment in the morning...in her underwear?
喜欢早上跑这儿来的女人 还穿着内衣
She's heard about you because we're, you know,
她听说过你是因为
involved and you haven't heard about her because...
你是我女朋友 而你没听说过她则是因为
I never slept with her, I swear!
我从没跟她上过床 我发誓
In Leonard's defense, it wasn't for lack of trying.
不过话说回来 这倒并不是因为莱纳德不想
Thank you, Sheldon.
谢谢你 谢尔顿
You're welcome, Leonard.
别客气 莱纳德
Look, I'm just saying, um...
我的意思是
Penny is one of our many neighbors, you know,
佩妮是我们众多邻居中的一位
and in our building, neighbors come and go, it's very casual, no dress code.
在我们这幢楼里 邻居们进进出出 很随便的 不讲究穿着
In fact, some mornings I'll just mosey down to the third floor
实际上 有好几天早上 我都是穿着睡衣
in my pajamas and have cereal with Mrs. Vartabedian.
荡到三楼瓦塔比蒂安太太家里跟她一起吃麦片的
Really?
真的吗
I have never once been invited
我怎么从来都没被瓦塔比蒂安太太
to have cereal with Mrs. Vartabedian.
邀请去共进麦片的
She doesn't like you.
她看你不爽
You have a gall bladder to remove and I have
你不是要去切除什么胆囊么
to get in the shower and Penny has clothes to put on, so...
我要去洗澡了 而佩妮要穿衣服了
Well, it was very nice meeting you.
很高兴能见到你
Nice to finally meet you, too.
我也很高兴终于见到你了
And I'll see you tonight?
我们今天晚上见?
Okay, bye-bye.
好的 再见
What could I possibly have done to offend Mrs. Vartabedian?
我到底做了什么事情 招惹到了瓦塔比蒂安太太
So, that's Stephanie, huh?
那就是斯蒂芬妮啊
Why do I feel like I'm the one that just got the prostate exam?
为什么我感觉我被做了前列腺检查
You know, she seems very nice.
她人挺好的
Oh, she is. She's terrific.
没错 她太棒了
And she's proving to be a valuable roommate.
真的是一位好室友
Roommate? You guys are living together?
室友? 你们住一起了?
Like hippies.
想嬉皮士一样
We're not living together.
我们没同居
Do I have to pull out the paperwork again?
你还想看看那些条款吗
We're not living together.
我们没同居
Are you sure?
你确定吗
How could I not be sure?
我怎么可能不确定
Well, let's find out.
我们试试就知道了
Don't you think if a woman was living with me
你觉得如果一个女人和我同居的话
I'd be the first one to know about it?
我会意识不到么
Oh, sweetie, you'd be the last one to know about it.
亲爱的 你肯定是那个最后知道的
Hmm, cute dresses.
很漂亮的衣服嘛
I bet this looks great on you!
我打赌你穿这个会很好看
We're not living together.
我们没有同居
Okay, hmm...
好吧
Scented candles, fuzzy slippers,
香氛蜡烛 毛毛拖鞋
Ooh! Floral bed sheets?
碎花床单
We're not living together.
我们没有同居
Okay, moving on.
好吧 我继续
Now, who are these guys at Disney World?
迪斯尼乐园里这两位是谁呀
Uh, the big dog is Goofy,
那个大狗叫高飞
but the older couple with the mouse ears , I have no idea.
那两个戴米奇耳朵的大人我就不知道了
We're not living together!
我们没有同居
You're going to go down swinging, huh?
还不承认嘛
All right, well, we got your body lotion,
好吧 看看你的护肤乳液
your InStyle Magazine, your jewelry box.
你的瑞丽杂志 你的首饰盒
We're not--
我们没有
Where's my Bat Signal?
我的蝙蝠侠信号灯去哪了
You have a Bat Signal?
你有一个蝙蝠侠信号灯
I did. It was right here.
我是有过 之前就放这了
She must've-- Oh, my God, we're living together.
一定是她 天呐 我们是同居了
Really? What was your first clue?
真的吗 你是怎么发现的
New pants?
新裤子
Yeah, Sthanie got them for me.
是啊 斯蒂芬妮买给我的
Nice. Cotton?
不错嘛 棉的
Actually, I think it's more of wool, fire ant blend.
事实上 我觉得更像是羊毛和火红蚁的混合物
So, the girlfriend's buying clothes for you, huh?
这么说你的女朋友替你买衣服啦
Sounds serious.
很亲密嘛
It is actually.
没错
In fact, I gave it a lot of thought
事实上 我也想了很多
and I decided it was time for us to live together.
我觉得我们是时候搬到一起住了
Ba Oh, Leonard, huge mistake.
莱纳德 大错特错
There's a whole buffet of women out there and you're just
外面的女人多的就像自助餐厅里的食物
standing in the corner eating the same deviled egg
你却站在角落里吃着同样的芥末蛋
over and over again.
日复一日
At least I have an egg. What do you have?
至少我有鸡蛋吃 你有什么
A veritable smorgasbord of potential sexual partners.
一打随意取用的潜在性伴侣
See the blonde over there?
看到那个金发美女了吗
I can hit on her and you can't.
我能去泡她你就不行
So, go hit on her.
去泡啊
She's not my type.
她不是我喜欢的类型
Too bad, 'cause she was checking you out before.
真遗憾 她刚才还偷看你来着呢
She was?
她有嘛
Of course not. Look at her.
当然没有 看看她
I don't care what you guys think.
我不关心你们怎么想
Stephanie and I are very happy living together.
斯蒂芬妮和我住在一起很开心
I will give either of you 20 dollars, right now
我愿意给你们20块钱
to trade pants with me.
你们谁能跟我换换裤子呀
Sheldon, what are you doing here?
谢尔顿 你跟这干嘛呢
Hang on.
等下
130 over 80. A little high.
高压130低压80 有点高
We can attribute that to the stress
可能是紧张的缘故
of sneaking past the security desk.
因为我得悄悄溜过保安室
Where did you get the stethoscope
你哪来的听诊器呀
and the blood pressure cuff?
还有这个血压袖带
My aunt Marion gave them to me for my 12th birthday.
我阿姨玛丽昂给我的12岁生日礼物
She thought if I failed at theoretical physics
她觉得如果我挂了理论物理
that I should have a trade to fall back on.
得有个谋生的手艺
And by the way, the blood pressure cuff
顺便说一下 那个血压袖带
is called a sphygmomanometer.
叫做血压计
Thank you.
谢谢
Didn't they teach you that in medical school?
他们在医学院没有教过你吗
I'm kinda busy here, Sheldon.
我有点忙 谢尔顿
I understand.
我了解
All I need is for you to authorize these tests.
我就是需要你授权这些检查
A cardiac stress test, a full body MRI,
心脏负荷检查 全身磁共振成像
anlectromyogram, a CBC, baseline glucose.
肌电图 全血细胞计数 葡萄糖基线
Upper GI?
上消化道
Oh, and an exploratory laparoscopy.
还有腹腔镜检查
Last time I had hiccups, it felt like my diaphragm
上次我打嗝了 感觉像是我的隔膜
was just going through the motions.
在向我示意
Go home, Sheldon.
回家吧 谢尔顿
Can I at least have the upper GI?
至少给我做个上消化道检查吧
I already drank the barium!
我都已经喝了钡水了
Oh, good. Do you have any fabric softener?
太好了 你有衣服柔顺剂嘛
Yeah, sure.
有啊
What are you washing? A crocodile?
你洗什么呢 洗鳄鱼呐
No, the pants that Stephanie got me.
不是 是斯蒂芬妮买给我的裤子
Oh, sweetie, you can't machinwash these.
亲爱的 这种裤子不能机洗的
They'll be ruined.
洗了就毁了
-Are you sure? -Absolutely.
-真的吗 -没错
Oh, no. I wish you'd told me that sooner.
不要吧 你早点告诉我就好了
Are you guys having problems?
你们有什么状况么
No, everything's fine.
我们都很好啊
Really?
真的么
Yeah. It's wonderful.
是啊 很好啊
Okay, maybe this whole living together
好吧 可能住在一起这件事
happened kind of suddenly, but it's fine, it's great.
发生得太快了 但没有问题的 挺好的
Okay, Leonard, honey, you know,
好吧莱纳德 亲爱的你知道
if you're uncomfortable with the way things are going,
如果你对于你们的关系感到不自在了
you're allowed to say something.
你是可以讲出来的
Are you sure? That doesn't sound right.
真的么 听起来不大对劲
Believe me, your feelings are just as important as hers.
相信我 你的感受和她的一样重要
No that doesn't sound right either.
这个听起来也不对劲
Just tell her you need the relationship to move
就直接告诉她你想要
at a pace that you both are comfortable with.
慢慢来
Yeah, I could say something like that to her.
好吧 我可以这么和她说
I'll go do that.
我这就去说
Thank you.
谢了
Sure.
没事
You have a really good grasp on this.
你很擅长这个嘛
Maybe you could talk to her?
你和她谈谈是不是更好
You're kidding, right?
你开玩笑呢吧
No, but that's okay.
没有 不过没关系
I'll go talk to her.
我去和她谈
Want to come with?
你想和我一起去嘛
Go!
快去
Oh, no.
不是吧
Whaa??
怎么咧
You were right. Your larynx is terribly inflamed.
你说对了 你嗓子发炎了
I mean, I've never seen anything like it.
我是说 我从来没见过更糟糕的了
I knew it!
我就知道
What do I do?!
我该怎么办
You're going to need to stop talking immediately.
你必须马上停止说话
For how-- Dut-dut-dut.
要多久
Immediately.
现在开始
Hey. Oh, hi, honey.
亲爱的
Sheldon.
谢尔顿
What's going on?
出什么事了
I just performed a "Sheldonectomy."
我刚给他来了个谢尔顿切除手术
Careful, if you don't get it all, it'll only come back worse.
小心点 如果没痊愈 下次会更厉害
Gotcha.
知道了
Listen, we need to talk.
听着 我们得谈谈
Do we need to talk or "do we need to talk"?
我们谈谈吧 还是我们得谈谈
I don't know what that means.
你说什么呢
Okay, why don't you just tell me what it is you have to tell me?
好吧 你为什么不直接告诉我 你想要告诉我什么
Okay, um, well, look, it's just that...
好的 那个 就是
things between you and me have been going pretty quick.
你我的进展太快了
And...?
然后捏
It's just a little scary.
我有点怕怕
Well, yeah, but scary good, right?
又惊又喜那种对吧
Sure...
当然
When is scary not good?
怕怕什么时候不是又惊又喜呢
But... okay, um, I have feelings, right?
但是 我也有感受的对吧
Okay, and it's perfectly okay
好的 那么我表述我的感觉
to express those feelings, right?
应该没有关系对吧
Of course honey why don't you tell me what it is you're feeling?
当然 亲爱的你为什么不 告诉我你的感受呢
Okay, well, I ju... I think it's important to remember
好的 我就是觉得我们得
that we move at a pace that is our speed
按照我们的步调前进
and-- Oh, shoot, I had it!
囧 我背下来的
Okay, how about this?
好吧 这样如何
How about I tell you what I'm feeling?
让我说说我的感觉如何
What's that?
怎么了
Really? Right now?
真的假的 现在吗
Why not?
为什么不
I just ate, aren't you supposed to wait an hour?
刚吃了饭的 饭后不是不能剧烈运动吗
I think that's for swimming.
是不能游泳吧
Oh, okay.
好吧
I just hope I don't get cramps.
我就希望我不会抽筋就行了
Oh, I put your clothes in the dryer.
我把你的衣服放到烘干机里了
Thank you.
谢谢
-Your pants are ruined. -Good.
-你的裤子毁了 -太好了
So, how did the talk with Stephanie go?
你和斯蒂芬妮谈的如何
Well, um, on one level, really, really well.
某种意义上讲 谈得超好
So, you told her you wanted to slow things down?
你告诉她你想慢点来啦
Not specifically,
没有讲得这么明确
but, uh, I did tell her that I had feelings.
不过我的确告诉她了我的感受
Good, good. And then what?
很好嘛 然后呢
And then, uh, the subject got changed somehow.
然后啊 主题就变了
You had sex, didn't you?
你们上床啦 对吧
Um... little bit.
上了一小下
What?
什么
Nothing.
没什么
Okay, well, it sounds like things are going to work out.
好吧 听起来进展顺利
Yeah, it's all good.
是啊 都很好
Everything's going to work out.
所有问题都会化解
One way or another.
不管是怎么化解的
come on, Leonard,
拜托 莱纳德
You are entitled to try and make things go the way you want them to.
你有权利试着 让事情按照你喜欢的方式来
-Really? -Yes!
-真的吗 -是的
You don't always have to go along with what the woman wants.
你不一定总是要顺着女人的意思
What?
什么
Nothing. Just... rethinking my whole life.
没什么 就是在重新思考我的整个人生
Okay, here's the thing.
好吧 事情是这样的
I'm afraid that if I ask her to move out, she'll just dump me.
我害怕如果我要她搬出去 她会甩了我
Well, it's a chance you have to take.
那你就得冒这个险
I mean, look, if it's meant to be, it'll be.
我是说 如果注定要这样 躲也躲不过
Very comforting.
真会安慰人
Okay, so what do I say to her?
好吧 我怎么和她说
I don't know.
我不知道
I mean, what have women said to you when they wanted to slow a relationship down?
我的意思是别的女人想要和你慢慢来 她们是怎么说的
I really like you, but I want to see how things go with Mark?
我真的很喜欢你 但我想看看和马克会怎样
Yeah, that'll slow it down.
是 那倒是可以让你们的关系慢下来
I'm sorry, I totally interrupted you.
抱歉 我打断你了
What were you saying?
你刚才说什么来着
Oh, right, yeah, um...
对 恩
So, Stephanie, here's the thing.
斯蒂芬妮 是这样的
I really like you.
我真的很喜欢你
Oh, God, here comes the speech.
噢 天哪 你要说那番话了
What speech?
什么话
"I really like you,
我真的很喜欢你
"but maybe we should spend a little less time together
但我们或许相处的时间应该再少一点
"'cause I need my space but I'll call you on Tuesday"
因为我想要有一点私人空间 但我会周二打电话给你的
and then you never call me so I call you,but you don't call me back
接着你再也不会打电话给我了 所以只能我打给你 但你不会回我
and then when I run into you at the coffee shop,
接着当我某天在咖啡馆遇见你
you pretend like you've been having problems
你假装你的语音信箱
with your voice mail and I know that you're lying,
好像坏了 但我知道你是在撒谎
but I pretend like I don't care even though I'm dying inside!
但我假装不在乎 即使在心里我已经想死你了
No!
不是的
No, no! I wasn't going to say any of that.
不 不是的 我不会那样说的
I was just going to say...
我刚才是想说
I really like you.
我是真的很喜欢你
Oh, good!
噢 太好了
'Cause I really like you, too.
因为我也真的很喜欢你
Terrific.
棒极了[同义:太糟了]
Hey.
- Hey.- Hey.
-嘿 -嘿
nice sweater.
毛衣挺不错的嘛
Yeah, Stephanie got it for me. It's kind of fun.
恩 斯蒂芬妮给我买的 这衣服挺有趣的
It's got a big bird on it, dude.
上面有一只大鸟诶 老兄
Yeah, yeah, that's the fun part.
是 是的 这就是它有趣的地方嘛
We're also getting new curtains for my bedroom,
我们还把我的卧室换了新窗帘
and a dust ruffle, and a duvet,
还有一个新床罩 和一床羽绒被
and I don't even know what a duvet is,
而我甚至都不知道羽绒被是什么东西
but I'm pretty sure if I did I wouldn't want one,
但我敢肯定不会是我想要的
but every time I talk to her about moving out,
但我每次和她说搬出去住的事情
she cries and we have sex.
她就哭起来然后和我做爱
You're lucky. With me, it's usually the other way around.
你真幸运 和我在一起 通常会是另一种结果
You know, if you can't talk to her, why don't you just text her?
你知道吗 如果你不忍心当面说 为什么不发短信跟她说呢
Isn't that kind of cowardly?
不觉得这有点像懦夫的行为吗
Oh, yeah. It's beyond contemptible.
哦 是的 但总比被欺骗好吧
It's true, but on the other hand you are wearing a bird sweater.
是的 但是另一方面你正穿着一件有鸟的毛衣
Sold.
同意
"I think it would be better for our relationship if you moved back to your place."
我想这会使我们的关系更好 如果你搬回你的地方去住
There. It's done.
看 搞定了
Good for you.
你真棒
Yeah, good for me. I'll never have sex again.
是的 我真棒 我再也不能享受到性爱了
I was wrong.See ya.
我错了 回头见
Penny.
佩妮
Penny.
佩妮
Penny.
佩妮
Sheldon?
谢尔顿
COMPUTER: I have an inflamed larynx.
我喉咙发炎了
Okay?
什么事啊
COMPUTER: We're out of herbal tea. Do you have any?
我们的药草茶喝完了 你有吗
Okay, let me check.
好的 让我找找啊
COMPUTER: Some hiney would be nice, too.
有肛门也不错
Hiney?
肛门[肛门的俚语 较粗俗 但也很流行]
COMPUTER: Honey.
是蜂蜜