God,I love the smell of paintballs in the morning.
There's no way we can get to the ridge.
The chemistry department has us completely cut off.
But what about the creek bed?
The pharmacology department controls that,
And they're all hopped up on experimental steroids.
That's it then. we're doomed.
I think the time has come to acknowledge that
we are paying the price for some of us failing to attend my
Physics department paintball strategy meeting.
I told you my mom has spider veins.
I had to take her to the laser clinic.
And I told you I wanted to see a doctor's note.
How about operation hammer of the gods? I forget.
Which one is hammer of the gods?
We hide behind the dumpsters in the parking
Lot and ambush people when they come to pee.
The dumpsters are deep in astronomy department territory.
That shouldn't be a problem.
Venus is up during the day.
They're probably just all staring at the sky.
All right, what we need now is a tactical retreat.
Did you see the episode of stargate
where they found themselves on a planet
with a culture based loosely on earth's athens and sparta?
Leonard, raj and I are going to burst out the door and run away.
Howard will cover us.
Why don't I run away and you cover me?
Because you chose your mother's veins over victory.
One, two, three, go!
一 二 三 闪
I had to take her!
It's almost bathing suit weather!
I surrender! don't shoot!
They went that way!
Howard, I'm on your team.
Oh, leslie, thank god.
Where's the rest of your squad?
Ah, they left me here to die.
It was friendly fire.
They just wouldn't listen.
Well, we're surrounded,
So I guess there's nothing for us to do
but wait to be captured or killed.
Hmm, that's the worst part, the waiting.
All the while knowing that there's a
Paint pellet out there with your name on it.
Yeah, the big wet ball of death.
Kind of makes you feel more alive, doesn't it?
I say we make every moment count.
How exactly do we do that?
Howard, why aren't you covering us?!
We're getting slaughtered out here!
Did you guys see the new budget memo that went out this morning?
Yeah, more cutbacks.
It baffles me why they don't simply let some of
You go so that there's money available for my research.
You know what baffles me, sheldon?
Based on your academic record, any number of things, I imagine.
Hey, guys. hey, leslie. hey.
Howard, I got the approval for the rapid prototyper you wanted.
That's great, leslie. thanks.
太好了 莱斯利 谢谢
You scratch my back, I scratch yours.
What was all that about?
They gave leslie control of some unrestricted grant money.
Yeah, okay, but what's with the back- scratching and the meow!
I believe the back-scratching metaphor
Generally describes a quid pro quo situation where
One party provides goods or services to the
Second party in compensation for a similar action.
The meow, that sounded to me like an african civet cat.
Despite what the name suggests, the civet cat is not a true cat.
You know what I'm thinking?
I'm thinking howard wasn't making a back-scratching metaphor.
I'm thinking there was some actual scratching involved.
What about it, howard?
I didn't want to say anything 'cause I
Know you and leslie have a little history.
I don't care about that.
Great, 'cause I've been dying to say something?
In the paintball shed! twice!
Is that why you didn't cover our Escape
and let us get cut down like animals?
Oh, yeah, sorry about that.
Dereliction of duty in the face of the enemy is
a court-martial offense.
Leslie Winkle is the fifth girl I've ever had sex with.
I mean, for free.
And plus, you got a rapid prototyper.
That's an expensive piece of equipment, dude.
And the rest of us have had our budgets cut to the bone.
Okay, one way to look at this is that I'm getting new equipment,
And you're not, and that's unfair.
我有了新设备 你们没有 这不公平
But a better way to look at this is that I'm getting sex and you're not,
And that's delightful.
The whole thing froze.
I don't know what happened.
Calm down. we'll figure it out.
How can I calm down?
I'm gonna lose my whole shopping cart.
That's three hours of picking out shoes just shot to hell.
You're in my spot.
Are you planning on sitting here?
No, I'm going to the comic book store.
Then what difference does it make?
What difference does it make?
In an ever-changing world, it is a single point of consistency.
If my life were expressed as a function
on a four-dimensional cartesian Coordinate system,
That spot at the moment I first sat on it would be zero-zero-zero-zero.
这个座位从我坐上那一刻开始 就成为了 (0,0,0,0)
Don't sit in his spot.
Boy, I love him, but he is one serious wackadoodle.
Okay, that should do it.
Oh, thank you. you are a lifesaver.
That's a lot of shoes you ordered.
Yeah, you know the sad thing is, it's really not.
Ooh, is this one of those paintball guns?
Yeah. you ought to come out with us sometime.
Oh, no, thanks. I'm from nebraska.
谢谢 不过还是算了 我从内布拉斯加来
When we shoot things, it's because we want to eat them
在那里 当我们对什么东西开枪的时候 要么是我们要吃它们
or make them leave our boyfriends alone.
Boy, your heart's racing. I must've really gotten you going.
孩子 你心跳在狂飙 我果然魅力无边啊
Well, it's partly you, partly my transient idiopathic arrhythmia.
Can I assume that you likewise found the experience...
That wasn't quite the word I was looking for, but sure,
I'll do this pass-fail.
Hey, are you enjoying that prototyper I got you?
Everybody in the engineering department is eating their hearts out.
Isn't it nice when your good fortune makes others miserable?
You know, most people don't get that.
Howard, I'm home!
Book club was cancelled!
That thing on phyll's neck opened up again!
Too busy to help your mother with her zipper?!
Oh, there's the arrhythmia.
Okay, then you kids have fun!
You think he'll notice?
Oh, what are we gonna do?
No, no, you had your chance to be "we"
For, like, a year and a half now.
Right now, you are "you," and you are screwed.
现在 你是你 你完蛋了
Why do we have to tell him I did it?
Well, we're not gonna tell him I did it.
Okay, okay, how about this?
We tell him somebody broke in.
Just to shoot the couch with a paintball gun?
I'm sorry, I buy it.
All those people are on drugs.
We could tell him
they wanted the couch to stay away from their boyfriend.
What if we just flip it over?
There. looks fine, right?
There's no discernible butt print.
It's too small and too...
How was the comic book store?
Fine. the new issue of flash is out.
Great, great. did you walk the whole way?
很好 很好 你走回来的吗
It's a little chilly.
Kooth Rappali picked me up.
Isn't that terrific?
He is such a good friend.
You know what the best thing about friends is?
They don't talk incessaly for no particular reason.
No, no, friends forgive the little things.
不 不 朋友之间会宽容小错误的
You know, I gotta go home and wash my hair.
Don't you dare, missy.
Hello, fastest man alive.
Want to see me read your entire comic book?
Want to see it again?
It doesn't feel right.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh, that. Penny did that.
Why don't you just eat in your desk chair?
Why don't I just eat in my desk chair?
That is my desk chair.
That is where I work.
I don't eat in my desk chair and I don't work in my spot.
I work in my desk chair and eat in my spot.
You know, there's kind of an obvious solution here.
There. problem solved.
Nobody cares where you're going to sit.
Excuse me, but the problem is not solved.
If your head had been accidentally amputated,
And we transplanted a dog's head in its place,
Would that be "problem solved"?
If it were your head, it would be.
Sheldon, I am really, really sorry, but it's only for a week.
谢尔顿 我很 很抱歉 但就一周
Can't you be a little bit flexible?
Yeah, sorry. I didn't really think that through.
好了 抱歉 我没细想
You claimed it's going to be a week,
But I have no faith in your dry cleaner.
Did you notice the sign on his counter?
He's not a full-time dry cleaner.
He also makes keys.
Oh, for god's sake, Sheldon.
Focus is important.
Was Michael Debakey a wedding planner
in between heart transplants?
Did Alexander Fleming moonlight as a hairdresser?
"thanks for discovering penicillin.
Now how about we try a bouffant?"
Ooh, looks like I'm gonna have sex tonight.
His right hand is calling him?
No, it's Leslie Winkle.
It's a long story.
I'll pick you up in ten minutes.
I thought we were going to play halo tonight.
What am I supposed to do, Leonard?
There's a woman out there anxious to have sex with me.
You understand, right?
Nevertheless, I must depart.
By the way, did I tell you?
Leslie pulled some strings and got me on the
Research trip to geneva to check out the cern supercollider.
You're not even a physicist.
Okay, there are two ways of looking at this...
It helps when I get to practice with a real woman.
Saturday my sister's getting married.
I-i want you to come with me.
It's black tie.
Yeah, gee, I'd really rather not.
When I go to weddings, it's to scam on chunky bridesmaids.
I don't know what I would do with a date.
Oh, all right. I understand.
Hey, I'm really sorry about that geneva trip.
Oh, didn't you hear?
I had to reduce the number of people going
and you didn't make the cut.
When did that happen?
About 12 seconds ago.
Are you saying if I don't go to the wedding, I can't go to geneva?
Actually, I'm trying not to say it.
Okay, I'm sorry, but that makes me a little uncomfortable.
Because it's like you're controlling
Me with new equipment and research trips.
Well, if I weren't controlling you with
new equipment and research trips, Then I'd be uncomfortable.
'cause then we'd be in, like,
A real relationship with feelings and all that crap.
So, bottom line, I'm just a bought-and-paid-for sex toy.
No. no, not at all.
You're also arm candy.
Hey, ma, you got to rent me a tux!
What kind of sex are you having up there?
Why are you crouching there?
Where else am I supposed to crouch?
I don't know. texas?
Fresh from the cleaners, good as new.
Sheldon, look. good as new.
谢尔顿 看 焕然一新
From that key maker, I highly doubt it.
There, nice and comfy cozy. zero, zero, zero.
好了 舒舒服服的 (0,0,0)
There's one more zero.
You forgot the time parameter.
Sit on the damn couch.
What do you mean, "nope"? What's wrong with it?
什么意思 不行 这有什么问题啊
Nothing, it's what's wrong with him.
It's exactly the same...
Penny, penny, I think I know what to do.
佩妮 佩妮 让我来搞定好了
Sheldon, I have some bad news.
You know the cashew chicken I get you monday nights?
Yes. from szechuan palace.
Szechuan palace closed two years ago.
Where did my cashew chicken come from?
No, this isn't right.
Our food always comes in szechuan palace containers.
Yeah, well, before they went out of business,
I bought 4,000 containers.
I keep them in the trunk of my car.
Oh, this changes everything.
I thought that might take his mind off the cushion.
What's real? what isn't?
You did make that up, right?
Oh, god, I wish I had.
I still don't like this cushion.
Ok first of all, penny, thank you for coming.
Thanks for the shoes.
Penny is an amazing shot.
I think we have a real chance to win this week.
Okay. now, we all run out.
Sheldon and I will cut to the left behind these trees.
Raj, howard and leslie
拉杰 和霍华德 还有莱斯利
flank to the right behind the rocks.
Then we'll all have a great view as penny
Runs out and kills everyone else in sight.
Just one thing before we start.
What is it, sheldon?
That was for my cushion.
Sheldon, penny was our only hope.
I'm sorry, leonard.
But revenge is a dish best served cold.
She can't shoot me. she's dead.
He's right. you can't.
Well, if we're going to descend into anarchy...
Okay, see you.
Where are you going?
Surrender, then denny's.