It's colloquial, a conversation opener.
这是口头语嘛 开场白
So, do you find the weather satisfying?
你觉得今天天气好吗
Are you currently sharing in the triumph
我们本地的球队赢球了
of some local sports team?
你是否为之一振
What's wrong with you? you're freaking me out.
你搞什么名堂 吓到我了
I'm striking up a casual conversation with you.
我在跟你闲聊啊
Please don't do that.
我求你别再说了
But I'm given to understand that
不过我觉得如果你要和某人
when you have something awkward to discuss with someone,
谈一个很尴尬的问题之前
it's more palatable to preface it with banal chit chat.
最好跟他说几句不搭界的闲话
So, this wasn't the awkward part?
就是说刚才那还不算尴尬事了?
Oh, good, I used that right.
太好了 我说对了
Anyway, you're aware that leonard has entered into a new
说正事吧 你应该已经注意到了 莱纳德最近
Romantic relationship which includes a sexual component?
和一个女人发生了一段带有性关系的感情
Okay, feeling the awkward now.
现在我能感到尴尬了
Her name is dr.Stephanie barnett and she is a highly
她的名字是 斯蒂芬妮·巴内特医生
Distinguished surgical resident at freemont memorial.
她是弗里蒙特纪念医院一名杰出的外科医生
Yeah, leonard told me. good.
-莱纳德告诉过我了 -很好
What he may have left out is
但他可能没告诉你
how important this relationship is to me.
这段感情对我来说非常重要
Yes, see, of the handful of women leonard's been involved with,
是的 在那些为数不多的和莱纳德约会过的女人中
She's the only one I have ever found tolerable.
只有她还算像个人
The statement stands for itself.
这应该是不言自明的
Well, aren't you sweet?
你嘴好甜
Anyway, should you have any interaction with her,
而且你应该多和她接触一下
It would be most helpful that she not see you as a sexual rival.
好让她别感觉到你是她的性竞争对手
Yeah, I think she's pretty safe.
我看她没什么好担心的
You say that now, but consider the following senario
你现在是这么说 但看看这样的情况
you're sitting in your apartment,
漆黑的晚上
It's late, you're alone.
你孤身一人坐在家里
Your hypothalamus is swimming in a soup of estrogen and
你的下丘脑里正游走着雌激素
Progesterone and suddenly even
和孕激素 这时突然在你眼里
Leonard seems like a viable sexual candidate.
就算莱纳德也会是一名有生育能力的性对象
Or a, uh, "hookup"
或者说 配对
As it's referred to by today's urban youth.
现在的都市青年好像都这么说的
Now, should that happen,
如果万一发生这种情况
I would ask you to find some way to suppress your libido.
我要求你找到一种压制自己性冲动的办法
I could think about you.
只需要想你就可以了
Fine, whatever works.
好 只要管用就行
Always nice talking to you, sheldon.
和你交谈总是很愉快 谢尔顿
Uh, peace out!
再见[谢尔顿在刻意模仿黑人俚语]
Well, this is very pleasant.
今晚多么美好啊
Glad you're enjoying yourself.
很高兴你喜欢
And you said there'd never be enough pasta for the three of us.
你还说通心粉三个人吃不够呢
You know, italian housewives have a rule of thumb.
你们知道么 意大利的家庭主妇都有这样一种经验
A handful of dry pasta about an inch in diameter is
只要抓一把直径为一英寸的通心粉放在锅里烧
Sufficient for each person as it doubles in volume when cooked.
就足够所有人吃的了 因为它在加热之后会膨胀一倍
That's very interesting.
非常有趣
She doesn't mean it. she's just being nice.
她不是真觉得有趣 只是礼节罢了
Since leonard seems to be dropping the conversational ball,
既然莱纳德现在不想谈话
I guess I'll just have to pick it up.
那么就由我来顶替他
Have you ever witnessed a violent crime?
你有没有现场目击过凶杀
What's your favorite fruit?
你最喜欢什么水果
Hmm, technically not a fruit, but all right.
严格来说不算水果 不过也不追究了
Where did you do your medical internship?
你的医学实习是在哪儿做的
Uh, lawrence memorial in galveston, texas.
劳伦斯纪念医院 在德州的加尔维斯敦
Really? that's where I was born!
真的吗 我就是在那儿出生的
I spent so much of my childhood at that hospital.
在那所医院里 我度过了不少童年时光
When I was 12, I got to ride there in a helicopter.
我十二岁的时候还坐直升机去哪儿呢
Why, w-w-what happened?
怎么了啊
A little mishap while I was building my own cat scanner.
我在造X射线轴向分层造影扫描机的时候发生了一点小意外
I'm sorry, you tried to build your own cat scanner?
你居然尝试自己造一个X射线轴向分层造影扫描机?
No, I didn't try, I succeeded.
我不是尝试 我是成功了
In fact, I was briefly able to see
而且我还用它观察了
the inside of my sister's guinea pig,
我姐姐的小豚鼠 雪球的内脏
Snowball, before he caught fire.
然后他就烧起来了
It led to an interesting
所以我们家很流行一句话
"not a snowball's chance in a cat scanner."
豚鼠躲不过扫描机
When I come back,just for fun,
我回来之后 为了好玩
the subject will be alternative history.
我们来聊聊架空历史
How would the civil war have gone differently
如果林肯是来自于未来的机器人
If lincoln had been a robot sent from the future?
那么南北战争的局势将会如何不同
Look at that, there's even pasta left over.
看啊 通心粉我们都吃不掉呢
Do you understand that this was supposed to be a date?
你到底知不知道这是一次约会
Do you? because frankly,
你明白么 老实说
you've been in a foul mood since I sat down.
自打我坐下后你就呆若木鸡
Okay, here's my question. why did you sit down?
好吧 那我的问题是 你为什么要坐下
Look, if you fail at this relationship,
如果你这次又失手了
and history suggests you will,
历史证明你会的
Then we risk losing the medical officer
那么我们的先头登陆部队所需的
That our landing party has always needed.
军医很可能就没了
What landing party?
什么先头登陆部队
You're kirk, I'm spock, wolowitz is scotty,
你是寇克 我是史波克 沃罗威茨是史考特
Koothrappali is the guy who always gets killed...
库萨帕里是那个总是被杀的
And now we've got mccoy.
现在我们有了麦考伊[《星际迷航》里的人物]
We're all standing around looking at the post-op x ray
我们都站在那看着术后X光片
Clear as day, right in the guy's chest cavity...
众目睽睽之下 就在那人的胸腔里
One of my earrings.
有我一只耳环
Oh, my god, what did you do?
天呐 那你怎么办
What do you think I did?
你觉得我还能怎么办
I discreetly slipped off the other earring,
我偷偷把另一只耳环给摘了
Put it in my pocket and then got the hell out of there!
放在兜里逃离现场
I have a bone to pick with you, sir.
捉迷藏的奖品捏
I'm sorry I'm late,
不好意思我迟到了
But yourompanion left the most indecipherable invitation.
但是你的同伴给我的邀请太难破译了
"we're going to the movies."
"我们去看电影了"
What movie? what theater? what time?
啥电影 啥影院 啥时候
If you were trying to make it impossible to locate you,
如果你想要我追踪不到你
You couldn't have done a better job.
那你干得真是再好不过了
Oh, clearly I could have.
明显我可以的
It took me nearly 20 minutes to go through the browser
我花了将近20分钟才从你电脑的网页
History on your computer to see what movie times you looked up.
浏览记录里查到你搜索过的电影时刻表
Wait here, I'll find us seats.
在这等我 我给咱们找个座
Uh, no, we have seats.
不用 我们有位子
Not the right seats.
不是正确的位子
He's finding the acoustic sweet spot.
他在找听觉最优点
Does he always do this?
他一直都这样吗
Sometimes he brings a toy xylophone.
有时他也会带给玩具木琴
I am really sorry about this.
真是太抱歉了
No, it's fine. you know, he's sweet.
不会 还好啦 他挺可爱的
My apologies, you've been sitting in it all along.
不好意思 你们一直都坐对了地方
Leonard, you want to slide over one?
莱纳德 你们能往里错一个位子吗
No, just sit here.
不能 您就坐这吧
Oh, yeah, this is it.
好极了 就是这感觉
Leonard? leonard?!
莱纳德 莱纳德
What, sheldon?! what, sheldon?!
咋啦 谢尔顿 咋啦 谢尔顿
Tell me what you see here.
告诉我你在这看到什么
The blunt instrument that will be the focus of my murder trial?
这个钝器能用来杀人吗
This is stephanie's facebook page.
这是斯蒂芬妮的facebook网页
Now, where it should say "in a relationship," what does it say?
你看 本来应该是"交往中"的 她写的是什么
"stephanie barnett is single."
"斯蒂芬妮 巴奈特单身"
Yeah, furthermore, earlier this evening,
而且早些时候
She threw a digital sheep at some guy named mike.
她送了一只电子羊给一个叫麦克的人
Why does he get a digital sheep and not you?
为什么他得到一只电子羊而不是你
It's just her facebook page and we've
这只不过是她的facebook网页罢了
Only been going out a couple of weeks.
而且我们只约会过几周
You don't see it, do you?
你还不明白么
We're losing her.
我们就要失去她了
Okay, I'm going to make this very simple for you.
好吧 我简而言之
You are not in this relationship.
你并不在这场恋爱里面
Ergo, you have no say in anything
也就是说 你对于我和斯蒂芬妮之间
that happens between me and stephanie.
发生的事没有发言权
I'm afraid I can't allow that.
恕难从命
Pursuant to starfleet general order 104 section a,
根据星际战舰总纲领104第一部分
You are deemed unfit and I hereby relieve you of your command.
你不是合适的人选 我替你指挥
General order 104, section a does not apply in this situation.
总纲领104 第一部分不适用于此情况
Give me one good reason why not.
给我个好的理由为什么不适用
Because this is not startrek
因为这不是《星际迷航》
This is banana bread.
这是香蕉面包
This is a door knob.
这是门把手
It's my understanding that an unsolicited gift of food can
根据我的理解 主动赠送食物
Be a precursor to an impromptu invitation to come in and chat.
可以作为被邀请进屋聊天的敲门砖
Sheldon, would you like to come in?
谢尔顿 想进来么
I suppose I could spare a few minutes.
那就聊一会吧
How can you be sure?
你怎么会这么肯定
Sheldon, what do you want?
谢尔顿 你想干嘛
I'm certain this will come as no surprise to you,
我知道你并不会惊讶
But leonard is failing in yet another relationship.
不过莱纳德又要失恋了
He's having problems with stephanie?
他和斯蒂芬妮出问题了吗
She's sending virtual livestock to random men on the internet.
她在网上赠送给随机男性虚拟牲口
If I have any hope of keeping them together, I need data.
我需要数据 才能保证他们在一起
I need to know exactly what leonard did that
我要确切地知道莱纳德做了什么
Caused you to pop an emotional cap in his buttocks.
让你"性"趣昂然
Again, urban slang.
还是 都市俚语
In which, I believe I'm gaining remarkable fluency.
我看我用得越来越溜了
So, what is the "down" and the "low"?
"往下来"和"找低处"[俚语中有口交之意]如何
And don't worry, this is all entirely confidential, so,
别担心 这完全是保密的
You feel free to include any and all shortcomings in the bedroom.
你可以自由谈论 其性事的缺陷
We never got to the bedroom.
我们从未上过床
Oh, okay, all right, you know what?
好了 知道吗
I'll tell you what happened.
我告诉你怎么回事
We were young, we were very much in love,
我们当时年少 十分相爱
But we could only communicate through a
但我们只能通过
Time-traveling mailbox at my lake house.
我湖边屋的时光穿梭邮箱交流[《看不见的恋人》中情节]
It's not enough that you made me watch that movie,
你让我看那电影还不够
But now you mock me with it?
你还用它嘲笑我
Gentlemen, I have a question about dating and relationships.
绅士们 我有个关于约会和恋爱的问题
You told me you were going to have the talk with him.
你说你已经和他谈过那个了[暗指性]
I've been waiting for someone to have the talk with me.
我还等着有人和我谈那个呢
It's about finding a way to keep leonard and stephanie together.
想办法让莱纳德和斯蒂芬妮继续交往下去
Oh, I don't think you can.
我认为你做不到
Look at leonard's record.
看看莱纳德的记录
27 days with joyce kim.
与乔伊斯·金交往二十七天
During which she defected to north korea.
然后她逃跑回了朝鲜
Two booty calls with leslie winkle.
与莱斯利·温克尔嘿咻两次
For which she awarded him the nickname "speed of light leonard."
因此得了个昵称"光速莱纳德"
And the three hour dinner with penny.
三次与佩妮共进晚餐
Which would have been two and a half if
如他们没坐下来点蛋奶酥的话
They ordered the souffle when they sat down.
就只能算是两次半
Based on the geometric progression,
根据几何级数
His relationship with stephanie
他和斯蒂芬妮
should have ended after 20 minutes.
在20分钟后就该完蛋了
Yes, I'm aware of the math.
我懂如何计算
Y equals 27 days over 12 to the nth.
Y等于27天除以12的商
The issue remains.
问题仍未解决
How do we circumvent his inevitable rejection?
我们如何能避免他不可避免的失败
Well, if you want to guarantee his appeal to stephanie,
如你想确保他在斯蒂芬妮的考虑之列
Your best bet would be to kill all the other men on the planet.
最有把握的是宰了这星球上所有别的男性
I'll tell you what you shouldn't do.
我告诉你什么不该做
Don't shpritz him with that body spray from the
别怂恿他用那广告上说的
Commercial where the women undress when they smell it.
女人闻到就会宽衣解带的香体喷雾
That doesn't work at all.
一点都没用
No matter how much you put on.
不管你洒了多少
So, that's all you've got?
这就是你们的本事
Apocalyptic genocide and "go easy on the cologne"?
天启式的种族灭绝和"别轻信古龙水"
My earlier inquiry regarding
我之前关于
you and leonard crossed some sort of line.
你和莱纳德的问题越界了
So, have you and I returned to a social equilibrium?
那我们又可以平等交谈了
Where are you in your menstrual cycle?
你现在在你月经周期里的哪一天
I've been doing some research online,
我在网上做了些调查
and apparently female primates,
显然灵长目雌性
You know, uh, apes, chimpanzees, you.
猿 黑猩猩 你们
They find their mate more desirable
她们觉得她们的配偶
When he's being courted by another female.
被另一个雌性追求时 更有吸引力
Now, This effect is intensified when the rival female
当竞争的雌性在排卵期
Is secreting the pheromones associated with ovulation.
分泌激素时 这种效果更强烈
Which brings me back to my question.
这又回到我最初的问题
Where are you in your--
你在...
Clearly, I'm 14 days too early.
很显然 我早来了14天
All I'm saying is if they can cure yellow fever and malaria,
我是说要是能治疗黄热病和疟疾
Why can't they do something about lactose intolerance?
为何不能治乳糖不耐症
Leonard, you're going to have to let this go.
莱纳德 撒手别想了
You had a little cheese dip, you farted.
你吃点乳酪就放屁
I thought it was cute.
我觉得很可爱
Yeah, I'm not driving anywhere tonight.
好的 反正我今晚又不开车去哪
What are you doing?
你在干什么
I have a craving for white asparagus
我特别想吃白芦笋
That apparently is destined to go unsatisfied.
但显然未能如愿
What the hell is wrong with you?
你到底怎么了
I'm helping you with stephanie.
我在帮你留住斯蒂芬妮
By making constipated moose sounds?
通过像便秘的驼鹿一样叫唤
When I fail to open this jar and you succeed,
当我没打开这瓶盖 而你打开了
It will establish you as the "alpha" male.
这样你就像个男子汉
When a female witnesses an exhibition of physical domination,
当女性看到你在展示力量时
She produces the hormone oxytocin.
她会产生荷尔蒙催产素
If the two of you then engage in intercourse,
之后如果你们俩交往的话
This will create the biochemical reaction in the brain
它会在大脑促生生物化学反应
Which lay people naively interpret as "falling in love."
让人们想当然地以为自己陷入爱河
Would it work if I just punched you in the face?
那我给你脸一拳管用吗
Yes, actually it would, but let's see how the lid goes.
当然可以 但还是让我们看看这个行吗
I'm not strong enough, leonard, you'll have to do it.
莱纳德 我不够强壮 还是你来吧
Oh, for god's sakes.
看在上帝的份上
Go ahead, it's pre-loosened.
开吧 已经松动了
Do you want some help with that?
需要帮助吗
No, no, no, I got it.
不要 不要 我能搞定
No, yeah, yeah, he's got it, and that's not surprising.
没错 没错 他能搞定 这不足为奇
This is something I long ago came to
很久以前 当我陷入爱河的时候
Peace with in my role as the beta male.
我是可以打开的
- Oh, my god, are you okay? - no, I'm not.
-天呢 你还好吗 -我不好
Like a gladiator!
像个角斗士一样
Oh, honey, you're going to need stitches.
你得缝几针
Stitches? with a needle?
缝几针 用针缝吗
Well, yeah, I mean, just a few.
对 就几针
Oh, okay, yeah, hang on a sec.
好的 稍等一下
Fyi, I was defrosting a steak in there.
顺便一提 我正在那解冻牛排呢
What a beautiful job stephanie did.
斯蒂芬尼缝得可真漂亮
I might have gone with a mattress suture
我会用床垫缝纫法
instead of a blanket stitch,
而不会用毯边锁缝纫法
But you can't argue with her results.
但她缝成这样 你也只能认了
It's a shame it won't scar.
没留伤疤真是太可惜了
The war wound is a time-honored badge of masculinity.
战伤可是古时男子汉的荣誉徽章
I can't remember a time when you weren't talking.
你什么时候能安静一会
Just for the record,
言归正传
My efforts to establish you as the alpha
我费心费力把你打造成男子汉
Male were not aided by you bursting into tears.
你这么痛哭流涕可没啥帮助
I did not burst into tears, my eyes just got a little watery.
我没痛哭流涕 只是眼睛湿润了一下而已
She stuck a needle into my hand!
她用针刺我的手
Hey, how's my big cry baby?
我的小泪孩怎么样了
Okay, I'm just teasing you.
好吧 我只是在逗你
But, yeah, you did.
不过 你确实哭了
Okay, it's all good.
好的 没问题了
What do you say we get you home and put you to bed?
我们送你回家 扶你上床怎么样
Oh, are you still going to spend the night?
那你还在那过夜吗
Uh, no, I think that you probably need to rest.
不行 我想你需要休息
She's right. as long as you're vomiting,
她说得对 你呕吐的时候
coitus is contra-indicated.
交媾是禁忌的
Thank you, dr. cooper.
谢谢你 库珀博士
You're welcome, dr. hofstadter.
言重了 霍夫斯塔德博士
Okay, I'm going to go get your discharge papers.
好吧 我去拿你的出院单
Well, you seem like a perfectly pleasant person.
你就像只可爱至极的小鸟
I can't understand why women have such a hard time loving you.
我真不明白为什么你那么不招女人待见呢
Hey, can you open this for me?
能替我打开吗
Can I see your stitches?
我能看你的缝针吗
Answering the question once and for all
终于明白为什么
Why wolowitz bailed out of medical school.
沃罗威茨会退出医学院了
Leonard, congratulations.
莱纳德 可喜可贺啊
Your facebook status update.
你在facebook里的资料更新了
Leonard hofstadter is "in a relationship."
莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德恋爱了
What? no. no, that's not right.
什么 不对 这不对
Oh, man, did you switch your status before she did?
伙计 在她更新前 你就更新你的了
Speaking as an expert, way to look needy.
以我专业人士的眼光来看 真是饥不择食啊
You went first, after only two weeks?
才两周 你就先表白了
It's not bold, it's a mistake.
这不是有胆 这是个误会
I didn't change my status.
我没更新我的资料
Well, then who did?
那是谁干的
I had no choice. he cried in front of her.
我别无选择 他都在人家面前哭了
You hacked my facebook account?
你侵入了我在facebook里的账户
Oh, it's hardly hacking
这算不上侵入
when you use the same password for everything,
做什么你都用这个密码
Now she's going to think I'm desperate.
她现在会以为我是没人要的
You've destroyed this relationship!
你毁了我们的关系
And you want to know what the worst part is?
你知道最糟糕的是什么吗
You don't even understand what you did wrong because you
你根本不知道自己哪里做错了 因为你
Can't conceive of something that you are not an expert in!
自以为在任何方面你都是专家
In which I am not an expert.
在那方面 我不是
I don't want to hear another word out of you.
我一个字都不想听
What's wrong, lassie? timmy fall down the well?
怎么了 莱西 蒂米掉到井里了吗[《灵犬莱西》里情节]
She just updated her facebook status.
她也更新了自己在facebook里的资料
"stephanie barnett is in a relationship
斯蒂芬尼·巴内特和莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德
with leonard hofstadter."
相恋了
I have a girlfriend.
我有女友了
If I am permitted to speak again,
容许我再说一句
dr. sheldon cooper for the win.
谢尔顿·库珀博士:为胜利而生