Previously on The Big Bang Theory...
I am going to the Arctic Circle
我和莱纳德 沃罗威茨 库萨帕里
with Leonard, Walowitz, and Koothrappali.
- For three months? - Yes.
What did you mean when you said you were going to miss me?
It means I wish you weren't going.
Oh, thank God we're home.
I can't believe we spent three months in that frozen hell.
It was like a snowy nightmare
from which there was no awakening.
I don't know what Arctic expedition you guys were on,
but I thought it was a hoot and a half.
No, I told you I'd call you when I got home.
不 我说了 到家了再打电话给你
All right, I'm home.
The Arctic expedition was a remarkable success.
I'm all but certain there's a Nobel Prize in my future.
Actually, I shouldn't say that.
I'm entirely certain.
No, Mother, I could not feel
不 妈妈 我感觉不到
your church group praying for my safty.
The fact that I'm home safe does not prove that it worked.
The logic is post hoc ergo propter hoc.
No, I'm not sassing you in Eskimo talk.
I'm gonna go let Penny know we're back.
Mother, I have to go.
Yeah, love you. Bye.
Hello, old friend.
Leonard, you're back.
Yeah. I just stopped by to say-- hmph!
- Yeah. So, hi. - Hi.
Damn it, I should have gone over and told her we were back.
Yeah, it was first-come, first-serve.
I just want you both to know,
When I publish my findings,
I won't forget your contributions.
- Great. - Thanks.
Of course, I can't mention you in my Nobel acceptance speech,
but when I get around to writing my memoirs,
you can expect a very effusive footnote
and perhaps a signed copy.
We have to tell him.
Damn his Vulcan hearing.
You fellows are planning a party for me, aren't you?
Okay, Sheldon, sit down.
If there's going to be a theme I should let you know
that I don't care for luau, toga or "under the sea."
Yeah, we'll keep that in mind. Look...
We need to talk to you about something that happened at the North Pole.
If this is about the night the heat went out,
there's nothing to be embarrassed about.
It's not about that.
And we agreed never speak of it again.
So we slept together naked.
It was only to keep our core body temperatures from plummeting.
He's speaking about it.
For me, it was a bonding moment.
Sheldon, you remember the first few weeks
We were looking for magnetic monopoles
And not finding anything and you were acting
like an obnoxious, giant dictator?
thought we were going to be gentle with him.
That's why I added the "tator."
And then when we finally got our first positive data,
In the world of emoticons, I was colon, capital "D."
Well, in actuality, what your equipment detected
wasn't so much evidence of paradigm-shifting monopoles
static from the electric can opener
we were turning on and off.
He just went colon, capital "O."
You tampered with my experiment?
It was the only way to keep you
from being such a huge Dickensian.
You see that? I add the "ensian."
Did Leonard know about this?
Leonard's my best friend in the world.
Surely Leonard didn't know.
Actually, it was his idea.
Of course it was. The whole plan weeks of Leonard.
- I missed you so much. - I missed you, too
I couldn't even think of anyone else while you were gone.
Except for one night when the heat went out.
Long story. It's... Don't ask.
Whispering, "Do not make a sound..."
Damn his Vulcan hearing.
Not a good time, Sheldon.
Oh, this is ridicules.
I realize you're currently at the mercy
of your primitive biological urges,
but as you have an entire lifetime
of poor decisions ahead of you, may I interrupt this one?
It's great to see you too. Come on in.
Wolowitz has informed me of your grand deception.
Do you have anything to say for yourself?
Yes, I feel terrible about it.
I will never forgive myself, I don't expect you to, either,
and I would really appreciate it if you would leave me with Penny
for a session of self-criticism and repentance.
Okay, can someone please tell me what's going on here?
What's going on is I was lead to believe
I was making groundbreaking strides in science,
when in fact, I was being fed
false data at the hands of Wolowitz, Koothrappali
and your furry little boy toy.
It was the only way to make him happy.
Well, why'd you have to make him happy?
Because when he wasn't happy, we wanted to kill him.
There was even a plan.
We were going to throw his kindle outside,
and when he went to get it, lock the door
and let him freeze to death.
That seems like a bit of an overreaction.
No, the overreaction was the plan to tie your limbs
to four different sled dog teams and yell, "Mush."
Look, we kept the original data.
You can still publish the actual results.
Yes, but the actual results are unsuccessful
and I've already sent an e-mail to everyone at the university
explaining that I have confirmed string theory
and forever changed man's understanding of the universe.
Aw, see, yeah, you probably shouldn't have done that.
啊 真是 唉 你也许不该这么做的
So write another e-mail. Set the record straight.
It's no big deal.
You're right, Leonard.
It's not a big deal.
All you did was lie to me, destroy my dream
and humiliate me in front of the whole university.
That, FYI, was sarcasm.
这个 告诉你 是讽刺
I, in fact, believe it is a big deal.
Oh, the poor thing.
Yeah, I feel terrible.
Wait wait, aren't you going to go talk to him?
What? Uh, he'll be fine.
什么 呃 他没事的
The guy's a trooper. Come here.
No, you're right-- you shouldn't talk to him.
Man, I cannot catch a break.
Do you want to talk?
Being betrayed by my friends?
Spending three months at the North Pole for nothing?
And I didn't even get to go to Comic-Con!
Soft kitty, warm kitty...
That's for when I'm sick. Sad is not sick.
I don't know your sad song.
I don't have a sad song. I'm not a child.
Well, you know, I do understand what you're going through.
Did you just have the Nobel Prize in waitressing
Well, no, but when I was a senior in high school,
one of my friends heard
I was going to be named head cheerleader.
Oh, I was so excited.
My mom even made me a celebration pie.
Then they named stupid Valerie Mosbacher head cheerleader.
that you think a "celebtion pie"
is even remotely comparable to a Nobel Prize?
Well, they're pretty tasty.
And on a different, but not unrelated topic,
based on your current efforts to buoy my spirits,
do you truly believe that you were ever fit
to be a cheer leader?
Look, Sheldon, I just don't think
听着 谢尔顿 我只是不认为
that the guys and Leonard really meant to hurt you.
You know? They just told an unfortunate lie
to deal with a difficult situation.
Okay, you know what it's like?
Remember that scene in the new Star Trek movie
when Kirk has to take over the ship,
so he tells Spock all that stuff he knew wasn't true,
like saying Spock didn't care his mom died?
I missed Comic- Con and the new Star Trek movie!
I like the new look.
I call it "the Clooney."
I call it "the Mario and Luigi but whatever.
我称之为"玛丽和路易" [超级玛丽游戏系列] 不过无所谓
Hey, how's sheldon doing?
Well, he came out of his room this morning
wearing his Darth Vader helmet and
trying to chop me to death with the "force"
so I would say "a little better."
If I may abruptly change the subject,
did you and Penny finally... you know.
- Howard... - Personally, I don't care,
but my genitals wanted me to ask.
Well tell your genitals
what I do with Penny is none of their business.
He says they didn't do it.
Sheldon, over here.
What are you doing?
well, I feel bad for the guy.
Sheldon, why are you sitting by yourself?
Because I am without friends.
Like the proverbial cheese, I stand alone.
Come on. We said we we sorry.
It's going to take more than an "I'm sorry"
and a store-bought apology pie from Penny
to make up for what you've done to me.
Read your retraction email.
Way to destroy your reputation.
People have been pointing and laughing at me all morning.
People have been pointing and laughing at you your whole life.
All right, I've had enough.
I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
As many of you in the physics department might know,
my career trajectory has taken a minor detour.
My credibility may have been damaged
But I would like to remind you that in science,
there's no such thing as failure.
There once was a man who was referred to his prediction
of a cosmological constant as the single "biggest blunder"
of his career. That man's name was--
Yeah, but research into Dark Energy
proved that Einstein's cosmological constant
was actually right all along, so you're still--
Oh, you think you're so clever.
Well, let me just tell you,
while I do not currently have a scathing retort,
you check your e-mail periodically for a doozy.
So much for our friendship with Sheldon.
Well, we always have the night the heat went out.
Listen, since we got, you know, interrupted last night,
I didn't have a chance to give you this.
Oh, Leonard, you shouldn't have.
哦 莱纳德 你不用这样的
From the North Pole.
It'll last forever.
I preserved in a one percent solution of polyvinyl acetal resin.
That's the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me
that I didn't understand.
It's actually a pretty simple process.
You see, cyanoacrylates are monomers which polymerize on--
Red alert, Leonard. Sheldon ran away.
红色警报 莱纳德 谢尔顿跑了
Man, I cannot catch a break.
So, how do you know he ran way?
Well, he's not answering his phone,
he handed in his resignation at the university
and he sent me a text that said, "I'm running away."
Okay, well, thanks for letting me know.
Well, Leonard, aren't you going to do something?
Of course I'm going to do something.
Uh, Howard, you check the comic book
Raj, go to the Thai restaurant.
I'll stay here with Penny in her apartment.
It's Sheldon's mother.
A break cannot be caught.
Sheldon went home to Texas
Yeah, no, I know he resigned.
Yes... I guess it is kind of our fault.
No, no, no. You-you're right. Someone needs to come talk to him.
不不不 你是对的 是要有人跟他谈谈
Don't worry, I'll take care of it.
Howard, you and Raj go to Texas.
I'll stay here with Penny in her apartment.
Well, you're not gonna go with them?
Well, you know, I gave you the snowflake
and we were kissing and...
Oh, come on, I don't want to go to Texas!
Oh, right, and I do?
My people already crossed a desert once.
Trust me, you'll be fine. See ya.
相信我 你会没事的 再见
Well, wait a second, Leonard, come on,
how can you not go? He's your best friend.
Yeah, but I already saw him naked.
I promise I will be he when you get back.
Just go help Sheldon.
Yeah. We waited a few months. We can wait a few more days.
是啊 我们已经等了几个月了 再等几天又有何妨
Boy, you cannot catch a break, can you?
- Here you go, Shelly.- Thanks, Mom.
-给你 谢利 -谢谢 妈
Hold your horses, young man.
- Here in Texas, we pray before we eat.- Aw, Mom.
-这里是德克萨斯州 饭前得先祈祷 -妈
This is not California, land of the heathen.
- By His hand we are all... - ...fed.
- Give us, Lord, our daily... - ...bread.
- Please know that we are truly... - ...grateful.
- For every cup and every... - ...plateful. Amen.
-一粥一饭来处 -不易 阿门 [基督教 谢饭歌]
Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?
My objection was based on considerations
Other than difficulty.
Whatever. Jesus still loves you.
Thank you for carving a smiley face in my grilled cheese sandwich.
Oh, I know how to take care of my baby.
His eyes cames out a little thin,
But you can just pretend he's Chinese.
Do you want to talk about what happened with you and your little friends?
- They're not my friends. - All right.
If you recall, when you were little,
we sat right here at this very spot
We talked about some of the problems
That you had get in along with the neighbor kids.
They were threatened by my intelligence
And too stupid to know that's why they hated me.
Oh baby, they knew very well why they hate you.
I can't believe you bought a red cowboy hat.
Hello? I'm wearing a red turtleneck
Plus, it was the only boys' large they had.
I'm sorry, this does not look like Texas.
Where's the tumbleweeds? Whe's the saloons?
风滚草呢 小酒馆呢 [老电影中德州常见景象]
Yeah, like in the movies I saw growing up in India.
You know, uh, Four for Texas, Yellow Rose of Texes.
This neighborhood is more likeTexas Chainsaw
I was really hoping to see a cattle drive.
What can I tell you?
They probably have steaks on sale at that big-ass Costco over there.
Will you please take that stupid hat off?
No, I want to blend in.
To what? Toy Story?
- Howdy, ma'am. - Howdy to you too.You got here quick..
-你好女士[牛仔常用] -你们也好 来得够快的
- We took the red-eye. - Well, come on in.
Can .. Can I get you something to drink?
Uh, no, thank you.
If you don't mind,I got a hankerin' for a Lone Star beer.
There's no alcohol in this household.
Stop talking like that and lose the hat.
Sorry, I'll take a diet Yoo-Hoo if you have it.
You'll take a Coke.
What about you? Radge, isn't it?
你呢 你叫拉吉[名字搞错了啦] 对吗
Oh, you still having trouble talking to the ladies?
Because, you know, at our church,
We have a woman who's an amazing healer.
Mostly she does, uh, crutch and wheelchair people,
But I bet she'd be willing to take a shot
At whatever Third World demon is running around inside of you.
Uh, if you don't mind, Mrs. Cooper,
There's a 3:05 nonstop back to Los Angele
And you have no idea how much I want to be on it.
Oh, good. I been praying for you.
What are they doing here?
We came to apologize.
- Again. - And bring you home.
So, why don't you pack up your stuff and we'll head back
No, this is my home now.
Thanks to you, my career is over
And I will spend the rest of my life here in Texas
Trying to teach evolution to creationists.
You watch your mouth, Shelly.
Everyone's entitled to their opinion.
Evolution isn't an opinion, it's fact.
And that is your opinion.
I forgive you. Let's go home.
Don't tell me prey doesn't work.
How about that.I finally caught a break.
You know how they say when friends have sex,it can get weird?
Why does it have to get weird?
I mean, we were friends,and now we're more than friends.
We're whatever "this" is.
But why label it, right?
I mean, it is what it is and...
- Leonard? - Yeah?
- It's weird. - totally.