Hey, Leonard, check this out.
Leonard, she's doing it again.
I think it upsets Sheldon when you play with the food.
No. It upsets Sheldon when she willy-nilly takes it
from the containers without regard
for its equitable distribution.
This is essentially why you have famine in India.
You want me to put it back?
It upsets Sheldon when you play with the Sheldon.
What's up, my nerdizzles?
I want you to meet my girlfriend Bernadette.
Hello. Leonard, Penny,
你好 莱纳德 佩妮
you know my girlfriend Bernadette.
Bernadette, say fo'shizzle to my nerdizzles.
I don't think I can.
I don't have Howard's street cred.
I hope it's all right--
I told my girlfriend Bernadette
she could join us for dinner.
Sure. The more, the merrier.
Wa-- no, that's a false equivalency.
More does not equal merry.
If there were 2,000 people in this apartment right now,
would we be celebrating? No, we'd be suffocating.
那我们会很开心吗 不 我们会窒息而死
- Sheldon... - Don't "Sheldon" me.
We ordered for five people, not six.
Oh, come on, it's fine.
We'll just put it all on the table, you know, family style.
Oh, sure. And while we're at it,
噢 那是 当我们家庭聚餐时
why don't we put our hands behind our backs,
have an old-fashioned eating contest?
Relax, it'll be fine.
Sit down, you guys.
Oh, yeah, you can't sit there.
That's where Sheldon sits.
He can't sit somewhere else?
No, no, no-- you see, in the winter,
不 不 不 你看啊 在冬天呢
that seat is close enough to the radiator so that he's warm,
yet not so close that he sweats.
In the summer, it's directly in the path of
a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there.
It faces the television at an angle that isn't direct,
so he can still talk to everybody,
yet not so wide that the picture looks distorted.
Perhaps there's hope for you after all.
Ooh, I love your shoes.
They are cute, aren't they?
- Where'd you get them? - Shoes for Less.
I've been meaning to go over there.
Oh, great selection, great prices.
My mother was right. Hell is real.
Come on, Sheldon.
Let the womenfolk chat.
Just eat your dinner.
Don't take him too seriously.
A lot of what he says is intended as humor.
Yeah, well, I don't think it's very funny.
Me neither, but he just lights up when I laugh.
Howard, never let her go.
So, Leonard, Howard says you're working on
fundamental tests of quantum mechanics.
Are you interested in physics?
Oh, I find it fascinating.
If I hadn't gone into microbiology,
I probably would have gone into physics.
Actually, my tests of the Aharonov-Bohm
quantum interference effect have reached an interesting point.
Right now, we're testing the phase shift
due to an electric potential.
Yes. Leonard's work is nearly as amazing
as third graders growing lima beans in wet paper towels.
While I appreciate the "Oh, snap,"
虽然我很欣赏你的 "喔 又损人了"
I'm uncomfortable having your moist breath in my ear.
to set up the voltages using tunnel junctions?
You want to see a simulation on my laptop?
Oh, yeah, show me.
In microbiology, the most exciting thing
I get to work with is yeast.
Your shoes are delightful.
Where did you get them?
Bazinga. I don't care.
racially stereotypical plumber.
I got stuck behind a tree.
And a cow and a penguin.
whether it's a real car or a virtual cartoon car,
Just need a little more practice.
What you need is cheat codes, motor skills and a magic genie
who grants wishes to little boys who suck at Mario Kart.
Hey, Sheldon, can I talk to you for a second?
It's not about shoes, is it?
I don't think I could go through that again.
It's not about shoes.
Um, actually, can we do it in private?
I agree, it's rude, but she asked for privacy.
Okay, so here's the thing:
I was wondering if you could maybe teach me a little physics?
There's no such thing.
Physics encompasses the entire universe,
from quantum particles to supernovas,
from spinning electrons to spinning galaxies.
I don't need the PBS special.
I just want to know enough
so I can talk to Leonard about his job.
You know, like Bernadette does.
Why can't Leonard teach you?
'Cause I want to surprise him.
Can't you surprise him in some other way?
For example, I'm sure he'd be delightfully taken aback
if you cleaned your apartment.
Come on, Sheldon, this is important to me.
拜托 谢尔顿 这对我很重要
this would be a massive undertaking,
and my time is both limited and valuable.
You're sitting here playing video games all day.
What sort of foundation do you have?
Did you take any science classes in school?
Sure. I did the one with the frogs.
The one with the frogs.
Yeah, actually, it was pretty cool.
A lot of the girls threw up, but I gutted that thing like a deer.
A smart guy like you, it'll be a challenge.
You can make it like an experiment.
I suppose if someone could teach sign language
to KoKo the gorilla...
I could teach you some rudimentary physics.
It's a little insulting, but great.
KoKo learned to understand over 2,000 words,
not one of which had anything to do with shoes.
This is my girlfriend Bernadette.
My girlfriend Bernadette.
Who are all those people?
it's Howard and his girlfriend Bernadette.
Thought I'd give the little woman a tour of the old salt mines.
He doesn't mean salt mines.
He means where he works.
Yeah, no, I got it.
So, how's your experiment going?
We're getting the electron accelerator set up.
We should be ready to go day after tomorrow.
Boy, I'd love to see that.
You're welcome to come.
Really? Oh, that'd be great.
How exciting is that?
Like Hanukkah in July.
Do they have that?
This isn't non-fat yogurt.
This is fatty fat fat.
Could you grab me another napkin, sweetie?
- Sure. - Thanks, honey.
-当然可以 -谢谢 宝贝
All right, what is your deal?
Inviting my girlfriend
to come see your electron accelerator?
You really are a piece of work.
you get the prom queen, you have to get
the head of the decorating committee, too?
What are you talking about?
Don't play innocent with me.
I practically invented
using fancy lab equipment to seduce women.
Not so far, but that's not the point!
I'm not interested in your girlfriend.
Because you don't want to mess with me.
Research journal, entry one.
I'm about to embark on one of
the great challenges of my scientific career:
teaching Penny physics.
I'm calling it Project Gorilla.
Come in. Take a seat.
Subject has arrived.
I've extended a friendly casual greeting.
Ready to get started?
Subject appears well-rested and enthusiastic.
Apparently, ignorance is bliss.
All right, let us begin.
Where's your notebook?
Um, I don't have one.
How are you going to take notes without a notebook?
I have to take notes?
How else are you gonna study for the tests?
There's gonna be a test?
I hope that's not too intimidating.
Now, Introduction to Physics.
Physics comes from the ancient Greek word "physika."
It's at this point that you'll want to start taking notes.
"Physika" means the science of natural things.
And it is there, in ancient Greece, that our story begins.
- Ancient Greece?! - Hush.
-靠 古希腊 -嘘
If you have questions, raise your hand.
It's a warm summer evening, circa 600 BC.
You've finished your shopping at the local market, or Agora...
...And you look up at the night sky.
There you notice some of the stars seem to move,
So you name them "planetes," or "wanderer".
Um, does this have anything to do with Leonard's work?
This is the beginning of a 2,600-year journey
We're going to take together
From the ancient Greeks
Through Isaac Newton to Niels Bohr
To Erwin Schrodinger
To the Dutch researchers
That Leonard is currently ripping off.
Yeah, give or take.
As I was saying, it's a warm summer evening
In ancient Greece...
I have to go to the bathroom.
Can't you hold it?
Not for 2,600 years.
Project Gorilla, entry two.
- Howard? - Huh?
It unhooks in the front.
Oh, that explains a lot.
Howard, I'm home!
Senior fitness was cancelled.
It turns out you can forget how to ride a bike.
I'm fine, but, oy, did Sam Harpootian eat gravel.
What's great about an 80-year-old Armenian man
With half his chin scraped off?!
I guess I should go.
Hey, Ma, can I have lamb stew for dinner?
Lamb stew? I'd have to go to the supermarket.
I got a real hankering.
Oh, I can't say no to my little tushy face.
Do you want the regular peas or the Le Seur?
Always Le Seur peas with lamb stew!
You're right! When you're right, you're right!
What if they're out of the Le Seur?
Then get the regular!
All right! You don't have to yell!
Let me just put that on vibrate.
I'm already on vibrate.
You know, that one I got.
Howard, did you say something to Leonard about me?
Uh, what do you mean?
He says if I go see his experiment tomorrow
It might weird you out.
Really? He said that?
You're not jealous of Leonard, are you?
I may have mentioned that it's a little inappropriate
To be asking another man's girlfriend to his experiment
Without first discussing it with said man.
Are you saying I need to ask your permission to hang out with Leonard?
I didn't say anything like that.
I said Leonard has to ask my permission.
Come on, I don't want to eat lamb stew with my mother.
Damn, I was this close on the bra.
Now, remember, Newton realized that Aristotle was wrong
And force was not necessary to maintain motion.
So let's plug in our 9.8 meters per second squared
所以 加上a = 9.8平方米每秒
Force-- Earth gravity- equals mass times 9.8 meters
Per second per second.
So we can see that "ma" equals "mg"
从而得到ma = mg
And what do we know from this?
Uh, we know that...
...Newton was a really smart cookie.
Oh! Is that where Fig Newtons come from?
哇 所以才有了牛顿打滚吗[一种点心 很像驴打滚]
No, Fig Newtons are named after a small town in Massachusetts.
- Don't write that down! - Sorry.
Now, if "ma" equals "mg," what does that imply?
好 如果ma = mg 我们可以推算出什么
How can you not know?
Have you suffered a recent blow to the head?
Hey! You don't have to be so mean!
Have you suffered a recent blow to the head?
- No, you just suck at teaching. - Really?
Of those two explanations, which one seems the most likely?
Sheldon, I'm trying to understand,
but you're going too fast.
Can you just back up a little bit?
It's a warm summer evening in ancient Greece...
Not that far back!
At what point did you begin to feel lost?
Where were we looking up at the night sky?
- Greece. - Damn it!
There's no need to get frustrated.
People learn at different rates.
Unlike objects falling in a vacuum, which...?
ma=mg "ma" equals "mg"...?
Then I don't know.
Because I'm stupid!
That's no reason to cry.
One cries because one is sad.
For example, I cry because others are stupid
and it makes me sad.
Okay, can we just please forget about all this extra stuff
and can you just tell me what Leonard does?
Leonard is attempting to learn why sub-atomic particles
move the way they do.
Really? That's it?
Well, that doesn't sound so complicated.
That's why Leonard does it.
Okay, I just have one question.
What exactly are sub-atomic particles?
And to answer it, we first must ask ourselves:
It's a warm summer evening in ancient Greece...
Okay, I got a bone to pick with you.
What did I do now?
I was in bed with Bernadette, and you text-blocked me.
We were completely naked, about to devour each other when,
you text her that I have a problem with her hanging out with you.
You do have a problem with her hanging out with me.
Yeah, but that's not what you tell her.
What was I supposed to tell her?
I don't know. Something that doesn't make me come off
as a petty, jealous douche.
And what would that be?
Come on, do I have to think of everything?
Am I too late to see the experiment?
What are you doing here?
Same thing you're doing here.
I came to see Leonard's experiment.
You said Leonard's experiment was stupid.
You told her my experiment was stupid?
I was just repeating what Sheldon said.
Let's not get off topic.
Bernadette, I need to apologize.
I was wrong to tell you who you should be friends with.
Should I, um, leave you two alone?
No, Leonard, you should hear this.
不用 莱纳德 你也该听听
Okay, good, 'cause I wasn't really gonna go.
Look, I know I come off as confident and worldly, but...
我知道我看上去自信满满 老于世故 但
the truth is I'm not.
Which is why I tend to feel threatened by other guys.
Or loud noises, clowns and nuns.
But I now realize how foolish that is.
He had a panic attack once
when he got his head stuck in a sweater.
It was a full turtleneck.
Why aren't you helping me?
Maybe because I'm... crazy?!
Bernadette, please, I'm asking you to give me another chance.
What do you think, Leonard?
Should I give him another chance?
He didn't call your experiment stupid.
Come here, tushy face.
That is going on Twitter right now.
Raj, you should've seen Leonard's experiment.
The interference pattern was so cool
when the electron beam was on.
Glad you enjoyed it.
Most people aren't that interested in what I do.
Actually, that's not true, Leonard.
In fact, recently I've been thinking that
given the parameters of your experiment,
the transport of electrons through the aperture
of the nano-fabricated metal rings is qualitatively no different
than the experiment already conducted in the Netherlands.
Their observed phase shift
in the diffusing electrons inside the metal ring
already conclusively demonstrated the electric analogue
of the Aharonov-Bohm quantum-interference effect.
That's it. That's all I know.
Fig Newtons were named after a town in Massachusetts,
not the scientist.