生活大爆炸第三季双语台词对白剧本

Why do I always have to carry the heavy stuff?

为什么我总是出力

Well, it's very simple.

很简单啊

In our ragtag band of scientists with nothing to lose,

在我们这群一无所有的破烂科学家当中

I'm the smart one,

我负责动脑子

Wolowitz is the funny one,

沃罗威茨负责搞笑

and Koothrappali is the lovable foreigner

库萨帕里是一个奋力想要融入我们的生活

who struggles to understand our ways and fails.

但是以失败告终的可爱的老外

That leaves you, by default, as the muscle.

你别无选择只有肌肉男了

One more floor, and I'd be the pulled muscle.

再多搬一层我就肌肉难了

Oh, it's about time. I'm starving.

来的正好我要饿死了

Um, well, we didn't actually get Chinese food.

这个其实我们没带中国菜回来

- Why not? - Don't panic. This is better.

-为什么啊 -淡定这个更赞

Oh, no. You didn't trade the food for magic beans, did you?

不是吧你们不会用食物换了魔豆吧

Of course not.

当然没有

And technically, magic beans would be food.

况且严格来说魔豆也是食物

Although eating them would be quite a waste,

虽然吃了它们怪浪费的

since you could plant them,

因为你可以种植它们

and overnight, have a giant beanstalk,

然后一夜之间就会长成一株巨大的豆茎

which would provide enough roughage for a small city.

足够一个小城市吃的

Yeah, sometimes I don't listen.

其实有时候我根本没听你说话

Sometimes I just watch your jaw go up and down.

只是看着你的下巴一上一下

We were on our way to the Chinese restaurant

我们去中餐馆的路上

when we thought we saw Adam West,

貌似看见了亚当·韦斯特

（亚当·韦斯特:《蝙蝠侠》的扮演者）

so we followed him.

所以我们就跟着他走

Who's Adam West?

谁是亚当·韦斯特

Who's Adam West?!

谁是亚当·韦斯特

Leonard, what do the two of you talk about after the coitus?

莱纳德你们性交之后都聊些什么啊

My guess is, "Hey, four minutes! New record!"

我猜是 "哇塞 4分钟新纪录啊"

That's why I'm the funny one.

所以我才负责搞笑啊

Anyway, we followed the guy to this garage sale,

反正呢我们跟着他到了旧货出售摊儿

and they had the coolest stuff.

那卖的东西都超赞

They were closing up.

他们正好关门大甩卖

We got this whole box for 60 bucks.

这一箱子东西才60块

We didn't even get to go through it all.

我们还没来得及看清都有什么呢

There could be anything in here.

说不定有什么宝贝呢

There a new girlfriend in there? 'Cause you might need one.

看看有没有新女朋友说不定你需要一个

No.

没有

But there is an original final draft Ghostbusters script

不过有《捉鬼敢死队》的原版终稿

with actual slime stains!

上面真的有黏液的污迹哎

Oh, you're right.

你说得对

It's Ghostbusters 2.

这个是《捉鬼敢死队2》

Never mind.

没看头

Oh, my God.

我滴神啊

An Alf doll.

是阿福娃娃

When I was 11, my mother got me one

我11岁时我妈在我爸去世后

to help me sleep after my dad left.

给我买了一个让我能睡好觉

I used to pretend that my dad had moved to the planet Melmac,

我那时候会假装爸爸是去了蜜胺树脂星球

and Alf was going to bring him back to me.

而阿福会把他带回我身边的

But he never did.

但它从来也没有

Where's my daddy, puppet?

我爸爸在哪儿小玩偶

Where is he?

他在哪儿

That is so sad.

太伤感了

No, what's sad is that you don't know

不更伤感的是你居然不知道

Adam West was TV's Batman.

亚当·韦斯特是电视版蝙蝠侠的扮演者

生活大爆炸第三季第十七集

Here's Spock's head with no body.

史波克的脑袋(波克:《星际迷航》中的人物)

Here's Mr.T's body with no head.

T先生的身子(Mr.T:《星际迷航》中的人物)

Oh, yeah, here's Spock's body with Mr.T's head.

啊在这儿史波克的身子配T先生的脑袋

I pity the fool who's illogical.

我同情那些没有逻辑的傻瓜

Okay, I'm just gonna go home

好吧我要回家了

and make a grilled cheese and window-shop on eHarmony.

做一个烤干酪然后上eHarmony 意淫去

（eHarmony:美国线上交友网站）

Okay, bye.

好的拜拜

Okay.

妥了

Ooh, look, an Indiana Jones connect-the-dots.

哇塞快看《夺宝奇兵》的连连看

And an Aquaman action figure.

还有潜水侠的手办

Looks like someone drew a penis on him.

好像有人给他画了个小弟弟

Ooh, that'll come off.

没事儿看我擦掉

You see what you're doing?

我们都看不下去了喂

Stop that.

停下

Fascinating.

真赞啊

What?

什么东西

It appears to be a Lord of the Rings ring.

是《魔戒》里的魔戒

Oh. It's even got

上面居然还刻着

the Elvish engraving on it.

精灵语呢

It's not Elvish.

不是精灵语

It's the language of Mordor written in Elvish script.

是用精灵语的字母写的魔多语

"One Ring to rule them all."

"魔戒全属至尊御"

（出自《魔戒》台词）

"One Ring to find them."

"至尊指引诸魔戒"

"One Ring to bring them all."

"至尊魔戒唤众戒"

"And in the darkness bind them."

"众戒归一黑暗中"

Holy crap, are we nerdy.

我靠咱们好宅啊

So, I was doing some checking on the ring.

我调查了一下这个魔戒

Hold on. Sheldon, is there ketchup on that table?

等下谢尔顿那边桌子上的是番茄酱吗

Yes, there is.

是滴

Oh, here's a fun fact. Ketchup started out as a general term for sauce,

有个好玩的事儿起初番茄酱是酱汁的总称

typically made of mushrooms or fish brine with herbs and spices.

特别是那些加了草本植物和香料的蘑菇或腌鱼

Some popular early main ingredients included blueberry,

早期流行的主材料包括蓝莓

anchovy, oyster, kidney bean and grape.

凤尾鱼牡蛎四季豆还有葡萄

No, that's okay. I'll get it.

没事儿我去拿

Listen, I was looking at the ring, and it seemed a little weird.

听我说我仔细观察了魔戒看上去有点奇怪

No copyright notice on it.

So, I took it down to this buddy of mine who deals with--

所以我就拿给我一个哥们儿看这么说吧

shall we say-- the seedy underbelly of the collectibles world.

他专门和收藏界的黑市做交易

Seedy underbelly?

黑市

You know, your black market phasers,

你那个黑市淘来的手提式相位枪

（出自《星际迷航》）

your screen-worn Lieutenant Uhura panties,

还有乌拉中尉在电影中穿过的内裤

that kind of stuff.

就那些东西呗

Who's this mysterious buddy you suddenly have?

你这个神秘兄弟是谁

Just a guy. I know a guy.

就是我认识的一个家伙

- Is it Eddie Crispo? - No, I can't tell you who it is. Stop asking.

-艾迪·克里斯波吗 -我不能告诉你别问了

Who else could it be? It has to be Eddie Crispo.

还能是谁肯定是艾迪·克里斯波

I know lots of dangerous people, okay?

我认识很多黑道人物好不好

- Name one. - Eddie Crispo.

-说一个 -艾迪·克里斯波

Anyway, he said this isn't a replica. It's the real deal.

不管怎样他说这个不是仿品而是真品

If you're suggesting that that is the actual ring of power

如果你说这就是索伦在末日火山

forged by Sauron in Mount Doom,

打造的至尊魔戒[指环王情节]

I look at you with an expression of exhaustion

我会用极为不屑和

and ever so slight amusement.

嘲笑的表情看着你

He's not saying it's a magic ring.

他不是说这是魔戒

You're not, are you?

对吧

No, but it's close.

没错但差不多

Look at the markings inside.

看里面的标记

Those are production markings.

那是生产标记

Nine rings were made for use in the Lord of the Rings movies.

为拍摄《指环王》共打造了九枚戒指

Three were given to members of the cast.

三枚送给了剧中演员

The rest were destroyed.

剩下的都被销毁了

Except one.

除了一枚

One was stolen.

被偷的一枚

Gentlemen...

先生们

this is the one ring.

这就是至尊魔戒

Mine!

归我了

No, it is not yours.

不不是你的

We all went in on the box together.

我们一起去要的箱子

Well, yes, but I found it in the box,

对但是我在箱子里找到的

and the laws of maritime salvage clearly state

海难救助法明确规定

that the finder of a sunken treasure

找到沉海宝藏的人

is the owner of the treasure.

即视为宝藏的主人

How is this maritime salvage?

这怎么符合海难救助法

Other than the lack of water, how is it not?

除了没有水怎么不符合

Wait, wait. Sheldon, stop being crazy for a second.

等等谢尔顿先别发疯

How much is something like this worth?

这种东西值多少钱

Well, it's tough to say since it's hot,

这么抢手的东西很难估价

but on the underground market, my guy figures...

不过在黑市里我朋友估价

Your guy Eddie Crispo?

你是指艾迪·克里斯波吧

Yes.

是滴

He figures ten, maybe 15 thousand.

他估价一万到一万五

Okay, that's a lot of money.

既然值这么多钱

The wise thing to do is invest it in something practical.

明智之举是用它投资更实用的东西

Like a jet ski.

比如水上摩托艇

Why do you want a jet ski?

你要摩托艇干嘛

All the wealthy and beautiful people in movies ride Jet Skis.

电影里有钱又帅的人都骑摩托艇

That can't just be a coincidence.

这不可能是巧合

We can't sell it.

我们不能卖它

We have to keep it

要保存它

and love it and polish it,

珍惜它爱护它

and only take it out occasionally

只能偶尔拿出来

when we go to the park

去公园里

and reenact our favorite scenes from the movies.

重演电影里喜欢的场景

It's sad how great that sounds.

听着有意思其实很无聊

Guys, it's stolen.

各位这是偷来的

It should go back to Peter Jackson.

应该还给彼得·杰克逊[指环王导演]

He made the movies; it belongs to him.

他制作的电影魔戒应该属于他

Fine.

行啊

He can have it back as long as he promises

可以换给他只要他答应

to make me a hobbit in his next movie.

让我演下一部电影里的霍比特人

There are no Jewish hobbits.

没有犹太霍比特人

Clearly, you've never been to my house

显然你没在岁首节[犹太新年]

for dinner on Rosh Hashanah.

来我家吃饭

We are not blackmailing Peter J...

我们不能敲诈彼得·杰

All right, where's the ring?

够了魔戒哪去了

You mean my ring?

你是说我的魔戒吗

What are you doing?

你这是干嘛

The ring was unguarded.

魔戒无人看护

It was just sitting on the table.

就这么放着台面

Anyone could have taken it.

谁都能拿走

Proof? I did.

证据我拿了

- Give me that. - Look, let's be reasonable.

-给我 -大家理智点

We all want to do different things with the ring,

我们都对魔戒抱有不同的想法

but your ideas are stupid, and I want a jet ski.

但你们的想法太傻我要的可是摩托艇

I found it. The ring is mine.

我找到的魔戒是我的

I don't understand why in this group I never get my way.

我不明白为啥每次都不能我说了算

You always get your way.

有哪次不是你说了算

I'll stipulate to that if you give me the ring.

你把魔戒给我才是每次我说了算

Hey, guys.

各位

Enjoying your food that I actually

喜欢我给你们上的

brought you instead of promising food,

不是你们点的菜

but bringing you a box of random crap?

是我随意找的一堆垃圾

Yeah, it's delicious.

很好吃

The sarcasm's a little stale, though.

就是讽刺的话不太新鲜

Hey, how about this?

要不这样吧

Until we figure out what to do with the ring,

确定如何处理魔戒前

Penny holds on to it.

由佩妮来保管

What ring?

什么戒指

This ring.

这枚戒指

Looking for something?

在找东西吗

Will you hold on to this for a couple of days?

你能保管几天吗

- Why? - It's a prop from a movie,

-为什么 -这是部电影的道具

And we're kind of fighting over it.

我们正为此争吵呢

Okay, just to be clear, the first piece of jewelry

只想说清楚我男朋友给我的

my boyfriend gives me is a prop from a movie,

第一件珠宝是电影里的道具

and I don't even get to keep it?

而且我还不能拥有它

If you had gone out with me three years ago,

如果你三年前跟了我

by now, you'd have my great Aunt Ida's brooch

你现在应该能收到我姑婆艾达

that she smuggled out of occupied Belgium in a cat.

塞进猫肚子从德占比利时偷运出的胸针

How am I looking now?

现在感觉我还好吧

You hit me!

你打我

I'm bleeding!

我在流血

What was that?

什么情况

Sheldon tried to take the ring and I punched him.

谢尔顿想偷魔戒我给了他一拳

That's my girl.

干得好

So, Sheldon,

谢尔顿啊

how's it feel to get beaten up by a girl?

被一个女人家揍的感觉如何

It's not the first time.

反正不是第一次了

I have a twin sister whose assaults began in utero.

在子宫里我那胞姐就开始欺负我

If only I'd had the presence of mind to reabsorb her,

如果当年我能一直坚定的吸收掉她

then I'd have a mole with hair in it

我也就多了一颗长毛的痣

instead of a tedious yearly Christmas letter.

这样也不会收到那些无聊的圣诞贺卡了

Gentlemen, have you come to the realization

先生们你们还没有觉悟吗

that the only reasonable course of action

最明智的选择

is to sell the ring and divide the money?

就是卖了魔戒再分钱

No.

没门

I was afraid of that.

我就怕你这么说

Go ahead.

说吧

Greetings from Mumbai.

在孟买问候大家

I am Raj's attorney, Venkatesh Koothrappali.

我是拉杰的律师文卡塔斯·库萨帕里

Also my cousin.

也是我表哥

You brought a lawyer?

你居然还找了个律师

Don't answer that.

这个不用回答

I'll get straight to the point.

我就直说了

My client's prepared to surrender

我的委托人准备放弃

any interest he has in the ring

他在这枚魔戒上的一切利益

in exchange for two Kawasaki Jet Skis.

来交换两辆川崎水上摩托

We're not giving him two Jet Skis.

两辆水上摩托是不可能的

Look, we're big boys,

听着大家都成年人了

why don't we just cut to the chase and meet in the middle?

我们何不都退一步海阔天空呢

One Kawasaki Jet Ski. Done and done.

一辆水上摩托就够了怎么样

No Jet Skis.

半辆都不给

All right, forget the Jet Skis.

好吧不谈水上摩托了

Forget the Jet Skis? That was our line in the sand!

你说什么这是我们的底线

What happened to "tear them a new one?"

你就这点招数吗

What can I say? They played hardball. We lost.

那你要我怎样他们态度强硬我们输了

You're useless.

你这没用的东西

I told you that when you hired me.

你来雇我时我就说了

I'm signing off now.

我要下线了

Call your mother. She worries.

记得联系你妈她担心你呢

Okay, just so you know, if we're bringing in cousins who are lawyers,

知道吗向别人介绍自己的律师表兄时

prepare for shock and awe.

要准备好被雷

You know what? I am ending this.

告诉你们我来了结这件事

Penny didn't want to hold the ring anymore.

佩妮不想再保管魔戒

She gave it to me. I have it. I'm sending it back.

她还给了我现在我手上我要寄回去

Where's the ring?

魔戒呢

You mean this ring?

你是指这个魔戒吗

Next time be aware of your surroundings

下次在公共厕所里排尿

while urinating in a public men's room.

记得要耳听八方环顾四周

Give me that.

快给我

No, it's mine.

才不这是我的

It's all of ours.

我们都有份

- Okay, now, this is ridiculous! - Then let go!

-得了这也太荒唐了 -那就放手

I'm not letting go. You let go.

偏不你干嘛不放手

I say this ring belongs

要我说谁坚持到最后

to the last person who can hold on.

魔戒就归谁

Fine. But can't we go home and start this?

行啊我们回家再开始吗

Sure. Let go of the ring.

当然那现在先放手

All right, it starts now.

好吧那就从现在开始

You do realize there's a giant bug movie marathon

今晚科幻频道有巨虫电影联播

tonight on the Syfy Channel.

你们都还记得吧

Wait, my laptop.

慢我的笔记本还没拿

You know, there's a point no when this becomes idiotic.

这也太白痴了一点也没意义了

And it wasn't when we were driving like this?

刚我们这样开车的时候你咋不说

I would advise the three of you

我好心建议你们三个放弃吧

that resistance is futile.

再怎么死撑也是徒劳

I have endless patience.

我的耐性可是出了名的好

I once spent two-and-a-half hours on hold

我曾和惠普的客服人员

with Hewlett-Packard customer service

耗了整整两个半小时

just to complain about their customer service.

就为投诉他们客服态度差劲

You want to talk about endless patience?

你少和我吹嘘耐性

Penny made me watch all five seasons

佩妮逼我看完了整整

of Sex and the City.

五季的《欲望都市》

There are six seasons, dude.

老兄那玩意有六季

Oh, crap!

噢杯具

No, no, no, the sixth season is great.

别这么说嘛第六季很赞啊

We go to Paris with Carrie and get our heart broken,

凯莉刚分手伤心地去了巴黎

and then Mr. Big shows up,

而大人物又突然出现

we don't know if we can trust him again.

我们都很好奇她是否还能再相信他

It's a wild ride.

真是跨越地球的爱恋啊

Door.

我要开门

Okay, everybody, and plie?

同志们屈膝[法语芭蕾舞动作]

And releve?

再踮立[法语芭蕾舞动作]

Whatcha doin'?

你们干什么呢

Last one holding the ring decides its fate.

谁坚持到最后魔戒归谁

I know, it sounds silly.

我知道这很蠢

No, no, no, no, no, you are my boyfriend.

才不会呢你是我男友啊

Nothing you do is silly to me.

情人眼里出西施嘛

Thank you.

多谢

FYI-- this is a bag from Victoria's Secret.

顺便说下这可是维多利亚的秘密内衣

I'm out.

老子不干了

I'm sorry, Ma,

抱歉老妈

I have to stay late at the office.

没办法我要在办公室加班

No, he's doesn't! He's lying to you!

才没有他在骗你

Will you be quiet?

你就不能消停点吗

Well, if you want privacy let go of the ring.

要隐私的话放开手就行了啊

I'm so glad

真开心

we came to this gentile strip club!

终于能来这家异教徒的脱衣舞俱乐部

Howard,

霍华德

here's more bacon to tuck into the shiksa's G-string!

再给你个培根塞她们丁字裤里去

I'll call you back.

我再打给你

I think it's lovely you call your mommy

你实在太贴心了还特地打电话

and let her know you're going to be late for dinner.

告诉你妈你赶不回去吃晚饭

From what I know about these things,

据我所知

if a woman doesn't breast-feed on time,

没能按时喂奶的女人

it's very uncomfortable for her boobies.

咪咪会很不舒服的

Don't you talk about my mother's boobies!

别跟我谈我妈的咪咪

If you're offended, let go of the ring

听着不爽的话放手啊

and go on home to your mother's boobies.

赶紧回家找你妈吃奶去

Excellent, excellent.

太好了太好了

Tire each other out, the ring will be mine.

你们俩耗吧我就能笑到最后

Howard, why don't you go after Raj's mother?

霍华德何不谈谈拉杰他妈

Why don't we go after your mother?

不然咱谈谈你妈

Go ahead.

尽管谈

I have no illusions about my mother.

我又没有恋母情结

She is a kind, loving,

她就一个和蔼可亲

religiously fanatical right-wing Texan

笃信上帝极端右翼的德州人

with a slightly out-of-scale head

头长得有点不合比例

and a mild Dr. Pepper addiction.

还对佩珀汽水有点上瘾

Anything you'd like to add?

还有什么要补充的吗

That's not gonna get you anywhere.

这样说根本没用

Better pull out the big gun.

得给他来点狠的

You're right.

说得对

Let's talk about your grandmother.

咱来谈谈你祖母

No!

不要

I call no Meemaws.

不许说我奶奶

Think about this.

想想看

The only way your mother was born was your Meemaw had sex.

你奶奶肯定得跟人上床才会有你妈

I don't want to hear this.

我不想听这些

Then let go of the ring and walk away.

那就放手走一边去

Never.

想都别想

All right.

好吧

I'll bet your Meemaw

我敢说你奶奶

didn't just have sex to have your mother.

不仅仅是为了传宗接代才跟人上床的

I bet she had sex because she liked it.

我敢说她肯定也享受性爱

Stop it!

别说了

Yeah, Meemaw did the nasty.

对奶奶也并不圣洁

I said stop it!

我叫你们闭嘴

We're getting to him.

说到他痛处了

Waterfalls!

瀑布

What?

什么

Waterfalls.

瀑布

Crashing waves.

惊涛拍岸

Babbling brooks.

潺潺溪流

What are you doing?

你这是干嘛

Subliminal messaging.

潜意识信息

I'm going to make you want to pee.

通过这让你们产生尿意

Dripping faucets.

滴水的水龙头

Leaky gutter.

漏水的水槽

Peeing.

尿尿

It's, it's not working, dude.

这招根本不管用伙计

Oh-ho-ho, it's working all right.

已经管用了

I have to pee.

我想上厕所

Then let go of the ring and go.

那就放开魔戒去啊

No, actually, I wouldn't mind going, too.

其实我也想上了

Fine.

好吧

Um, on the count of three.

数到三

One, two...

一二

Wait, just to clarify.

等等先说清楚

When you get to three, do we stand up or do we pee?

数到三是都站起来还是直接尿尿

We stand up.

都站起来

Excellent choice.

明智之选

Three.

三

Something tells me

我有预感

this was a bad day to wear suede shoes.

今天真不该穿绒面革皮鞋的

I've done it!

我做到了

I've won!

我赢了

The ring is mine!

魔戒是我的了

It's mine!

是我的了

We're going to clean it up and make it pretty.

得彻底清洗下让它更漂亮

My own.

是我的

My love.

我亲爱的

My precious.

我的宝贝

（谢尔顿华丽变身《魔戒》中的咕噜[Gollum]）

Where's the ring?

魔戒呢

It's in a FedEx box on its way back to where it came from.

在联邦快递的盒子里回它原来的地方去了

The fires of Mount Doom?

末日山的火焰之中

（索伦在末日山的火焰中铸造了至尊魔戒）

Peter Jackson's office in New Zealand.

彼得·杰克逊(《魔戒》导演)在新西兰的办公室

It wasn't ours.

本就不是我们的

You quit the game!

你早就退出了比赛

You had no right to take it.

根本没资格拿走魔戒

I came in here, you guys were all sleeping.

我走进来的时候你们都睡着了

The ring was on the floor. No one was touching it.

魔戒掉在地板上没人拿着

Well, so then we start the game over until there's a winner.

那就该重新开始直到产生最后的赢家

There wasn't ever going to be a winner.

根本不会有什么赢家

There was going to be a selfish, petty person with a ring

只会有一个手握魔戒的自私鬼

and three people who used to be his friend.

和三个反目的好友

Is that really what you guys want?

你们真想这样吗

'Cause if it is, fine.

真想的话随便吧

I don't want anything to do with you.

我跟你们也没什么好说的了

And I don't know what happened in that bathroom,

还有厕所里怎么回事我不知道

but I am not cleaning it up!

但我才不会去清理

My precious.

我的宝贝

I knew it.

我就知道

Give us the precious!

把宝贝还我们

- Give me! Give me! - Get off of me!

-快给我快给我 -放开我

- Give me the ring! - It's mine!

-把魔戒给我 -魔戒是我的

Ugh, gotta go back to dating dumb guys from the gym.

真该跟健身房那笨蛋约会看看的

Just give me the ring!

把魔戒给我

Give it to me!

把魔戒给我

Give me the ring!

把魔戒给我

I said give it to me!

我让你给我

It's mine!

魔戒是我的

生活大爆炸 第三季 The Big Bang Theory Season 3 第17集: 宝藏分裂 The Precious Fragmentation

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生活大爆炸第三季 The Big Bang Theory Season 3 第17集: 宝藏分裂 The Precious Fragmentation