Why do I always have to carry the heavy stuff?
Well, it's very simple.
In our ragtag band of scientists with nothing to lose,
I'm the smart one,
Wolowitz is the funny one,
and Koothrappali is the lovable foreigner
who struggles to understand our ways and fails.
That leaves you, by default, as the muscle.
One more floor, and I'd be the pulled muscle.
Oh, it's about time. I'm starving.
Um, well, we didn't actually get Chinese food.
- Why not? - Don't panic. This is better.
-为什么啊 -淡定 这个更赞
Oh, no. You didn't trade the food for magic beans, did you?
And technically, magic beans would be food.
Although eating them would be quite a waste,
since you could plant them,
and overnight, have a giant beanstalk,
which would provide enough roughage for a small city.
Yeah, sometimes I don't listen.
Sometimes I just watch your jaw go up and down.
We were on our way to the Chinese restaurant
when we thought we saw Adam West,
so we followed him.
Who's Adam West?
Who's Adam West?!
Leonard, what do the two of you talk about after the coitus?
My guess is, "Hey, four minutes! New record!"
我猜是 "哇塞 4分钟 新纪录啊"
That's why I'm the funny one.
Anyway, we followed the guy to this garage sale,
and they had the coolest stuff.
They were closing up.
We got this whole box for 60 bucks.
We didn't even get to go through it all.
There could be anything in here.
There a new girlfriend in there? 'Cause you might need one.
But there is an original final draft Ghostbusters script
with actual slime stains!
It's Ghostbusters 2.
When I was 11, my mother got me one
to help me sleep after my dad left.
I used to pretend that my dad had moved to the planet Melmac,
and Alf was going to bring him back to me.
But he never did.
Where's my daddy, puppet?
No, what's sad is that you don't know
Adam West was TV's Batman.
Here's Spock's head with no body.
Here's Mr.T's body with no head.
Oh, yeah, here's Spock's body with Mr.T's head.
I pity the fool who's illogical.
Okay, I'm just gonna go home
and make a grilled cheese and window-shop on eHarmony.
做一个烤干酪 然后上eHarmony 意淫去
Ooh, look, an Indiana Jones connect-the-dots.
哇塞 快看 《夺宝奇兵》的连连看
And an Aquaman action figure.
Looks like someone drew a penis on him.
Ooh, that'll come off.
You see what you're doing?
It appears to be a Lord of the Rings ring.
Oh. It's even got
the Elvish engraving on it.
It's the language of Mordor written in Elvish script.
"One Ring to rule them all."
"One Ring to find them."
"One Ring to bring them all."
"And in the darkness bind them."
Holy crap, are we nerdy.
So, I was doing some checking on the ring.
Hold on. Sheldon, is there ketchup on that table?
等下 谢尔顿 那边桌子上的是番茄酱吗
Oh, here's a fun fact. Ketchup started out as a general term for sauce,
有个好玩的事儿 起初 番茄酱是酱汁的总称
typically made of mushrooms or fish brine with herbs and spices.
Some popular early main ingredients included blueberry,
anchovy, oyster, kidney bean and grape.
凤尾鱼 牡蛎 四季豆 还有葡萄
No, that's okay. I'll get it.
Listen, I was looking at the ring, and it seemed a little weird.
听我说 我仔细观察了魔戒 看上去有点奇怪
No copyright notice on it.
So, I took it down to this buddy of mine who deals with--
shall we say-- the seedy underbelly of the collectibles world.
You know, your black market phasers,
your screen-worn Lieutenant Uhura panties,
that kind of stuff.
Who's this mysterious buddy you suddenly have?
Just a guy. I know a guy.
- Is it Eddie Crispo? - No, I can't tell you who it is. Stop asking.
-艾迪·克里斯波吗 -我不能告诉你 别问了
Who else could it be? It has to be Eddie Crispo.
I know lots of dangerous people, okay?
- Name one. - Eddie Crispo.
Anyway, he said this isn't a replica. It's the real deal.
不管怎样 他说这个不是仿品 而是真品
If you're suggesting that that is the actual ring of power
forged by Sauron in Mount Doom,
I look at you with an expression of exhaustion
and ever so slight amusement.
He's not saying it's a magic ring.
No, but it's close.
Look at the markings inside.
Those are production markings.
Nine rings were made for use in the Lord of the Rings movies.
Three were given to members of the cast.
The rest were destroyed.
this is the one ring.
No, it is not yours.
We all went in on the box together.
Well, yes, but I found it in the box,
and the laws of maritime salvage clearly state
that the finder of a sunken treasure
is the owner of the treasure.
How is this maritime salvage?
Other than the lack of water, how is it not?
Wait, wait. Sheldon, stop being crazy for a second.
等等 谢尔顿 先别发疯
How much is something like this worth?
Well, it's tough to say since it's hot,
but on the underground market, my guy figures...
Your guy Eddie Crispo?
He figures ten, maybe 15 thousand.
Okay, that's a lot of money.
The wise thing to do is invest it in something practical.
Why do you want a jet ski?
All the wealthy and beautiful people in movies ride Jet Skis.
That can't just be a coincidence.
and love it and polish it,
and only take it out occasionally
when we go to the park
and reenact our favorite scenes from the movies.
It's sad how great that sounds.
Guys, it's stolen.
It should go back to Peter Jackson.
He made the movies; it belongs to him.
He can have it back as long as he promises
to make me a hobbit in his next movie.
There are no Jewish hobbits.
Clearly, you've never been to my house
for dinner on Rosh Hashanah.
We are not blackmailing Peter J...
All right, where's the ring?
You mean my ring?
What are you doing?
The ring was unguarded.
It was just sitting on the table.
Anyone could have taken it.
- Give me that. - Look, let's be reasonable.
We all want to do different things with the ring,
but your ideas are stupid, and I want a jet ski.
I found it. The ring is mine.
I don't understand why in this group I never get my way.
You always get your way.
I'll stipulate to that if you give me the ring.
Enjoying your food that I actually
brought you instead of promising food,
but bringing you a box of random crap?
Yeah, it's delicious.
The sarcasm's a little stale, though.
Hey, how about this?
Until we figure out what to do with the ring,
Penny holds on to it.
Looking for something?
Will you hold on to this for a couple of days?
- Why? - It's a prop from a movie,
And we're kind of fighting over it.
Okay, just to be clear, the first piece of jewelry
my boyfriend gives me is a prop from a movie,
and I don't even get to keep it?
If you had gone out with me three years ago,
by now, you'd have my great Aunt Ida's brooch
that she smuggled out of occupied Belgium in a cat.
How am I looking now?
Sheldon tried to take the ring and I punched him.
how's it feel to get beaten up by a girl?
It's not the first time.
I have a twin sister whose assaults began in utero.
If only I'd had the presence of mind to reabsorb her,
then I'd have a mole with hair in it
instead of a tedious yearly Christmas letter.
Gentlemen, have you come to the realization
that the only reasonable course of action
is to sell the ring and divide the money?
I was afraid of that.
Greetings from Mumbai.
I am Raj's attorney, Venkatesh Koothrappali.
You brought a lawyer?
Don't answer that.
I'll get straight to the point.
My client's prepared to surrender
any interest he has in the ring
in exchange for two Kawasaki Jet Skis.
We're not giving him two Jet Skis.
Look, we're big boys,
why don't we just cut to the chase and meet in the middle?
One Kawasaki Jet Ski. Done and done.
All right, forget the Jet Skis.
Forget the Jet Skis? That was our line in the sand!
What happened to "tear them a new one?"
What can I say? They played hardball. We lost.
那你要我怎样 他们态度强硬 我们输了
I told you that when you hired me.
I'm signing off now.
Call your mother. She worries.
Okay, just so you know, if we're bringing in cousins who are lawyers,
prepare for shock and awe.
You know what? I am ending this.
Penny didn't want to hold the ring anymore.
She gave it to me. I have it. I'm sending it back.
她还给了我 现在我手上 我要寄回去
You mean this ring?
Next time be aware of your surroundings
while urinating in a public men's room.
- Okay, now, this is ridiculous! - Then let go!
-得了 这也太荒唐了 -那就放手
I'm not letting go. You let go.
I say this ring belongs
to the last person who can hold on.
Fine. But can't we go home and start this?
Sure. Let go of the ring.
All right, it starts now.
You do realize there's a giant bug movie marathon
tonight on the Syfy Channel.
Wait, my laptop.
You know, there's a point no when this becomes idiotic.
And it wasn't when we were driving like this?
I would advise the three of you
that resistance is futile.
I have endless patience.
I once spent two-and-a-half hours on hold
with Hewlett-Packard customer service
just to complain about their customer service.
You want to talk about endless patience?
Penny made me watch all five seasons
of Sex and the City.
There are six seasons, dude.
No, no, no, the sixth season is great.
We go to Paris with Carrie and get our heart broken,
and then Mr. Big shows up,
we don't know if we can trust him again.
It's a wild ride.
Okay, everybody, and plie?
同志们 屈膝[法语 芭蕾舞动作]
Last one holding the ring decides its fate.
I know, it sounds silly.
No, no, no, no, no, you are my boyfriend.
Nothing you do is silly to me.
FYI-- this is a bag from Victoria's Secret.
I have to stay late at the office.
No, he's doesn't! He's lying to you!
Will you be quiet?
Well, if you want privacy let go of the ring.
we came to this gentile strip club!
here's more bacon to tuck into the shiksa's G-string!
I'll call you back.
I think it's lovely you call your mommy
and let her know you're going to be late for dinner.
From what I know about these things,
if a woman doesn't breast-feed on time,
it's very uncomfortable for her boobies.
Don't you talk about my mother's boobies!
If you're offended, let go of the ring
and go on home to your mother's boobies.
Tire each other out, the ring will be mine.
Howard, why don't you go after Raj's mother?
Why don't we go after your mother?
I have no illusions about my mother.
She is a kind, loving,
religiously fanatical right-wing Texan
with a slightly out-of-scale head
and a mild Dr. Pepper addiction.
Anything you'd like to add?
That's not gonna get you anywhere.
Better pull out the big gun.
Let's talk about your grandmother.
I call no Meemaws.
The only way your mother was born was your Meemaw had sex.
I don't want to hear this.
Then let go of the ring and walk away.
I'll bet your Meemaw
didn't just have sex to have your mother.
I bet she had sex because she liked it.
Yeah, Meemaw did the nasty.
We're getting to him.
What are you doing?
I'm going to make you want to pee.
It's, it's not working, dude.
Oh-ho-ho, it's working all right.
Then let go of the ring and go.
No, actually, I wouldn't mind going, too.
Um, on the count of three.
Wait, just to clarify.
When you get to three, do we stand up or do we pee?
this was a bad day to wear suede shoes.
We're going to clean it up and make it pretty.
It's in a FedEx box on its way back to where it came from.
The fires of Mount Doom?
Peter Jackson's office in New Zealand.
You quit the game!
You had no right to take it.
I came in here, you guys were all sleeping.
The ring was on the floor. No one was touching it.
Well, so then we start the game over until there's a winner.
There wasn't ever going to be a winner.
There was going to be a selfish, petty person with a ring
and three people who used to be his friend.
Is that really what you guys want?
'Cause if it is, fine.
I don't want anything to do with you.
And I don't know what happened in that bathroom,
but I am not cleaning it up!
Give us the precious!
- Give me! Give me! - Get off of me!
-快给我 快给我 -放开我
- Give me the ring! - It's mine!
Ugh, gotta go back to dating dumb guys from the gym.
Just give me the ring!
I said give it to me!