生活大爆炸 第三季 The Big Bang Theory Season 3 第23集: The Lunar Excitation
上映日期: 2,009
语言: 英语
影片类型: 喜剧
导演: Mark Cendrowski
演员: 约翰尼·盖尔克奇 / 吉姆·帕森斯 / 凯莉·库柯 / 西蒙·赫尔伯格 / 昆瑙·内亚 / 梅丽莎·劳奇 / 凯文·苏斯曼 / 克里斯汀·芭伦斯基 / 朱迪·格雷尔 / 约书亚·马林纳 / 威尔·惠顿
台词
Ok, we've got the power to the laser.
搞定 激光接上电源了
I should've brought an umbrella.
我应该带把伞来的
What for? It's not gonna rain.
作甚啊 又不会下雨
I know that.
我知道
But with skin as fair as mine, moon burn is real possibility.
但我如此白嫩的肌肤还是有可能被月光灼伤的
That's a "Bazinga," Right?
这是个"逗你玩儿" 对吧
One of my best, don't you think?
我的巅峰之作 你觉得呢
Howard, do you want to double-check the equatorial mount on the laser?
霍华德 你要不要再检查一下 激光上的赤道仪装置
We need it locked onto the Sea of Tranquility.
我们得把它锁定到"宁静之海"上 [月面某部名称]
You got it.
没问题
Oh, Raj, no.
天 拉杰 别这样
Billions of dollars have gone into inventing the Internet
人们花了无数美元发明了英特网
and filling it with pictures of naked women,
并在上面发了无数艳照
so we don't have to peep through windows.
就是为了让我们不需要通过窗户来偷窥啊
It's not like that.
我才没有呢
I'm watching someone's TV.
我只不过在看别人的电视而已
The Good Wife is on.
正在播《傲骨贤妻》呢
I tell you, this is my new Grey's Anatomy.
告诉你 这就是我的新《实习医生格蕾》
Leonard, Leonard.
莱纳德 莱纳德
What is that? What is that?
那是啥 那是啥
Relax, it's just a dirty sock.
别紧张 不就是只脏袜子嘛
How on earth can you say
你怎么可以如此淡定的把
"Dirty sock" And "Relax" In the same sentence?
"脏袜子"和"别紧张"放在同一句话里
Sheldon, the world is filled with dirty discarded socks.
谢尔顿 这个世界上到处都有被遗弃的脏袜子
Not my world.
我的世界可没有
Hey, you know who'd really dig seeing this experiment? Penny.
嘿 你们知道谁会非常想看这个实验吗 佩妮
I wasn't aware that lunar ranging was her thing.
我怎么不知道她喜欢月面搜索呢
Although, I suppose the retro-reflector left on the moon
尽管我可以确定尼尔·阿姆斯特朗留在月球上的
by Neil Armstrong does qualify as a shiny object.
回复反射器的确符合了亮晶晶的标准
Why don't you ask her to come up?
那你怎么不叫她上来
I don't know, it's still a little weird since, you know...
不知道 自从那之后就有点怪怪的
- She dumped you? - She didn't dump me.
-她甩了你吗 -她没有甩了我
We were just in different places in the relationship.
我们只不过在这段关系中处在不同方位罢了
I fail to see how a relationship
我不明白为什么一段情缘
can have the qualities of a geographic location.
还能有地理位置的特性
Oh, it's very simple.
唔 这很简单
Leonard was living in a little town called "Please don't leave me"
莱纳德住在一个叫做"请别离开"的小镇里
while Penny had just moved to the island of "Buh-bye."
而佩妮则刚搬到了一个叫"拜拜"的小岛上
Screw you guys.
去你丫的
I'm gonna go see if she's home.
我去看看她在不在家
If it's not too much trouble,
如果方便的话
I'd like to point this at the moon now.
我想把望远镜瞄准月球了
Wait a second.
且慢
The good wife is crying.
好老婆正哭呢
Something's very wrong.
出大问题了
生活大爆炸第三季第二十三集 [本季完]
Oh, hi. What's going on?
嘿 怎么了
We're up on the roof bouncing laser beams off the moon.
我们在屋顶上尝试从月球将激光射回来呢
I'm sorry, what?
抱歉 什么
It's pretty cool.
很酷的哦
We've got a two-meter parabolic reflector and everything.
我们准备了直径两米的反射器和其他仪器
I thought you might want to see it.
我觉得你可能会想来看看
That makes no sense.
这完全说不通啊
How can you bounce stuff off the moon?
你怎么可能从月球上弹射东西
There's no gravity.
那儿可没有重力
Uh, Leonard,
呃 莱纳德
- This is Zack. Zack, Leonard. - Hey.
-这是扎克 扎克 这是莱纳德 -嘿
Oh, sorry, I didn't know you were busy. Maybe another time.
抱歉 我不知道你们正忙呢 或许下次吧
Yeah, maybe.
嗯 或许吧
Hey, I want to see this laser thing.
嗨 我想看看这个激光
Oh, but what about the party?
但那个派对怎么办
It's a surprise party-- doesn't matter when we get there.
只不过是个惊喜派对而已 什么时候到完全没所谓
Right.
那倒是
Okay, well, yeah, come on up.
那好吧 上来吧
So, how'd you guys meet?
你们是如何认识的呢
My company designs the menus for the Cheesecake Factory.
我的公司为芝士工厂设计菜单
Your company?
你的公司
Well, my dad. But me and my sister are VPs.
事实上是我爸的 但我和我妹妹是副总
So... menus.
呃 菜单啊
I know it sounds easy, but there's a lot of science that goes into designing them.
听起来貌似简单 但在设计当中 是包含了不少科学知识的
Happy now? I'm moving the dirty sock.
开心了吧 我把脏袜子丢开了
Thank you.
谢谢
Raj, keep an eye out for the other one.
拉杰 时刻注意另外一只
Hey, guys, this is my friend Zack.
各位 这是我朋友扎克
- Hello. Zack. - Whoa!
-你好扎克 -哇哦
Is that the laser?
这就是那激光吗
It's bitchin'.
太他妈帅了
Yes.
没错
In 1917, when Albert Einstein established
1917年 当爱因斯坦在他的文章
the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper
《关于辐射的量子理论中》阐述了
"Zur Quantentheorie der Strahlung," His fondest hope
激光的理论基础时 他最诚挚的希望
was that the resultant device be bitchin'.
就是最终的仪器要很他妈的帅
Well, mission accomplished.
唔 那任务达成了
Let me explain what we're doing here.
让我来解释一下我们在做什么
Um, in 1969, the astronauts on Apollo 11
1969年 阿波罗11号上的宇航员
positioned reflectors on the surface of the moon, and we're going to shoot a laser off
在月面安置了数个反射器 而我们则要发射激光
one of them and let the light bounce back into this photomultiplier.
到其中的一个上面并反射回来 到这个光电倍增器上
Oh! That's very cool.
哇 那很酷啊
One question.
只有一个问题
How can you be sure it won't blow up?
你怎么确定它不会爆炸
The laser?
激光吗
The moon.
月球
See, now this is a man for Penny.
看 这才是配得上佩妮的男人
That's a great question, Zack.
问得好 扎克
No, it's not.
才不是呢
Sheldon!
谢尔顿
Play nice.
要友好
It's not a great question.
问得不好
How could somebody possibly think we're going to blow up the moon?
怎么能有人觉得 我们会炸掉月球
That's a great question.
这才叫问得好
Don't worry about the moon.
不用担心月球
We-We set our laser to stun.
我们把激光调弱了
Smart.
聪明
Now, we'll be able to see the beam when it leaves,
发射时我们能看到光束
but it won't be strong enough when it comes back
但返回时的光束减弱
to be seen by the naked eye.
裸眼看不到
Naked.
裸
Right. Uh... funny.
是很搞笑
Uh, that device, there, will measure the photons that return
那个装置能测量返回的光子
and let us see it on this computer.
我们能在电脑上看到
Raj, get them some glasses.
拉杰 给他们眼镜
Cool, it's gonna be in 3-D?
酷 还有三维效果
Preparing to fire laser at the moon.
准备向月球发射激光
Make it so.
开始吧
There it is. There's the spike!
有了 看到峰值了
2.5 seconds for the light to return.
返回时间2.5秒
That's the moon! We hit the moon!
是月球 我们击中月球了
That's your big experiment?
这就是你们的大实验
All that for a line on the screen?
搞这么多就为了屏幕上的一条线
Yeah, but, uh, think about what this represents.
话虽如此 想想这代表着什么
The fact that we can do this is the only way
我们的实验是唯一
of definitively proving that there are man-made objectson the moon,
能证明月球上有人造物体的实验
put there by a member of a species
这个物体是60年前刚发明飞机的
that only 60 years before had just invented the airplane.
种族中一员放上去的
What species is that?
那是什么种族啊
I was wrong.
我错了
Penny can do better.
佩妮能找更好的
- Okay, guys, thank you, it's been fun. - Yeah, thanks.
-好了 谢谢各位 很有意思 -谢谢
- Should we invite them to the party? - No, just keep walking.
-能请他们参加派对吗 -不行 只管走
He must be very skilled at coitus.
他肯定交媾技能很强
I'm telling you, dude, the only way
告诉你 唯一能让你
to feel better about Penny going out with other guys
接受佩妮结交新欢的办法
is for you to get back on the whores.
就是再奸再厉
Horse.
接
What?
什么
The phrase is "Get back on the horse,"
那个词是"再接再厉"
not "Whores."
不是"奸"
That's disgusting, dude.
老兄 你真恶心
No, it's not...
不是
Never mind.
算了
He is right, though.
不过他说得对
If you want, I can turn you on to this great new
你愿意的话 我可以给你介绍
- dating site I found. - No, thanks.
-我找到的新交友网 -不了 谢谢
You sure? They say they can find a match for anybody.
你确定 上面说能给任何人牵红线
Have they found a match for you?
他们给你牵了吗
Tons. I've had, like, eight dates in the last month.
多着呢 上个月就有八个呢
And 12 if you count the ones who showed up and left.
如果算上见我就闪的 有12个呢
I can't bring the nitrogen tank down.
我无法搬氮气罐下来
- Why not? - All right, let me restate that.
-为什么 -我重申一遍
It's very heavy, and I don't want to.
它很重 我不想搬
I'll help you.
我去搬吧
Thank you.
谢谢
Lift with your knees, not your back.
用膝盖 别用背
Good night.
晚安
You know what would be fun?
知道什么才好玩吗
Signing Sheldon up for online dating.
帮谢尔顿申请网上交友
Yeah, right.
算了吧
No, think about it.
不 想一想
We make it an experiment.
我们当实验做
Like when Frankenstein's monster
就像寂寞的科学怪人
was lonely and he found a wife.
找了个老婆
He didn't find a wife.
他没有找老婆
They built him a wife out of dead body parts.
而是用死尸器官造了个老婆
Okay, we'll call that plan B.
那可以作为后备计划
Coming!
来了
Damn you, you rat bastard.
你个该死的混蛋
Are you drunk?
你醉啦
Zack was a perfectly nice guy, and then you ruined him!
扎克是个绝好男友 你把他毁了
How did I ruin him?
我怎么把他毁了
'Cause in the olden days, i never would've known he was so stupid.
因为以前 我绝不会觉得他蠢
Come on, he wasn't that stupid.
拜托 他没那么蠢
Yes, he was! He thought you were gonna blow up the moon!
不 他够蠢了 他觉得你们会炸掉月球
Okay, yeah, he's stupid.
对 他确实很蠢
He spent the entire night bragging
他一整晚都在吹嘘
about how he invented the word "Appe-teasers."
自己怎么造出"阑胃菜"这个词
How is that my fault?
这不是我的错吧
You have destroyed my ability to tolerate idiots.
你毁了我容忍傻逼的能力
Now, come with me.
现在跟我走
Wh-Where are we going?
去哪
We're gonna have sex.
我们去做爱
Why? I mean, okay.
为啥 不过我没意见
What's going on?
怎么回事
Put on your noise-canceling headphones,
把你的降噪耳机戴上
'cause it's gonna get loud.
这边会很吵的
Oh! Not this again.
怎么又来了
In what universe is this low-pulp?
这怎么可能是少果肉呢
Good morning, Penny.
早啊 佩妮
What, do you have eyes in the back of your head?
你后脑勺长眼睛了吗
When one gets beaten up every other day in school,
隔天就在学校挨揍的某人
one of necessity develops a keen sense of hearing.
必然会进化出更敏锐的听觉
Incidentally, one can get beaten up in school
而且 在学校挨揍的某人
simply by referring to oneself as "One."
通常都把自己称为"某人"
I'm making English muffins.
我准备做英式松饼
Would you like an English muffin?
你想吃吗
- Oh, thanks, I'm not hungry. - FYI,
-不了 我不饿 -另外
my noise-canceling headphones proved ineffective last night.
昨晚证明我的降噪耳机无效
Yeah, sorry about that.
不好意思
As a native Texan,I must say I've never heard the phrase "Yee-haw"
作为本土德州人 我得说"驾"这个词
used in quite that context.
在交媾中很少用到
Oh, God.
天呐
"Oh, God."
天呐
That I've heard on multiple occasions.
这个我倒是听过很多次
In what universe is that lightly toasted?
这算哪门子"微"烤
This has to be the worst day of my life.
今天真是我一生之中最扯淡的一天
Good morning, Leonard.
早啊 莱纳德
How many times have I asked you not to do that?
我告诉过你多少次了不要那么做
Counting this instance? 317.
算上这次吗 317次
Where's Penny?
佩妮呢
She returned to her apartment.
她回她家去了
I presume to shower and vomit.
我猜应该是去洗澡加呕吐了
Not necessarily in that order.
顺序不一定是按这个
I wonder why she didn't say good-bye.
她为啥都没道别一下呢
Are you expecting me to offer an explanation of human behavior?
你是在叫我解释一下人类行为吗
I know. I just thought as an outsider,
难为你了 我只是觉得
you might be able to provide a fresh perspective.
当局者迷 旁观者清嘛
I have no difficulty believing you're not butter.
我相信你个小东西绝对不是黄油
- Oh, hey. - Oh, hi.
-嘿 -嗨
Um, I gotta run. Early shift.
我得赶紧走了 早班
Okay, I'll walk down with you.
好啊 我和你一起下楼
So, last night was fun, huh?
昨晚挺有意思的 对吧
Yeah, it must have been.
那必须的
I just threw up in my closet.
我刚吐在我壁橱里了
Bummer.
杯具啊
Anyway, I was thinking tonight maybe we could catch a movie.
我在想啊 咱俩今晚 去看场电影如何
Oh, yeah, tonight's not great for me.
今晚我不太方便
Doesn't have to be tonight.
不一定是今天晚上
I'm free pretty much always.
我差不多啥时候都有空
Leonard, last night was a mistake.
莱纳德 昨晚那件事是个错误
When you say "Mistake," Do you mean a fortunate mistake,
你说"错误" 是塞翁失马那种吗
like the discovery of penicillin?
就比如发现青霉素
Look, I'm sorry.
我很抱歉
I was drunk, I was lonely, I hated Zack.
我喝高了 很寂寞 我讨厌扎克
Can we just forget it ever happened?
咱俩就当没发生过好吗
No, it's pretty well imprinted on my brain.
不行 整件事几乎已经刻在我脑子里了
Especially the whole rodeo thing.
特别是骑术表演那部分
Oh, God!
老天
So, that's it?
就这样啊
Wham, bam, thank you, Leonard?
提上裤子就不认人啦
Look, I said I'm sorry. Can't you please let it go?
我都道歉了 你就别纠结这事儿了行吗
How am I supposed to let it go?
你说的倒轻松啊
You used me for sex!
你居然把我当泄欲对象
Morning, Mrs. Gunderson.
早安 冈德森太太
Good morning, Leonard.
早啊 莱纳德
Or should I say "Yee-haw"?
或者我该说 "驾"
- Holy crap. - What?
-我靠 -怎么了
We finally have proof that aliens walk among us.
我们终于证实了人类之中藏有外星人
Excuse me?
你说啥
The dating site matched a woman with Sheldon.
这个约会网站找到了个适合谢尔顿的女人
You're kidding.
不可能吧
An actual woman?
一个实实在在的女人
Yeah, look. Breasts and everything.
你看 胸部 该有的都有
Trust me, breasts doesn't necessarily mean woman.
相信我 有胸的不一定就是女人
- Since when? - I'll show you a picture
-啥时候有这么一说 -我回头给你看张
of my Uncle Louie in a bathing suit sometime.
我路易叔叔穿泳装的照片
Leonard, you gotta see this.
莱纳德 快来看啊
We found a match for Sheldon.
我们居然找到适合谢尔顿的姑娘了
Great.
很好
Maybe she can have sex with him, and then walk out on him
说不定她会跟他上床 然后第二天一早
the next morning without so much as a "How do you do?"
连个招呼都不打就闪人
Do you know what he's talking about?
你知道他说啥呢吗
Nope. Why don't you ask him?
不知道 你问问呗
Leonard, what are you talking about?
莱纳德 你说啥呢
I don't want to talk about it.
我不想谈这个
That was a lousy suggestion.
瞧你出的这馊主意
Whatever. Right now,
随便啦 现在
Dr. Sheldon Cooper has to send an e-mail
谢尔顿·库珀博士要给他的真命天女
to his perfect match.
发封邮件
"Greetings, fellow life-form..."
"您好 同类生物"
If she can do it, I can do it. If she can do it, I can do it.
她能做到 那我也能 她能做到 那我也能
If she can do it, I can do it.
她能做到 那我也能
I can't do it.
我无能了
- Hello? - Oh, hi. Hey.
-谁啊 -你好
Hi, Leslie.
你好啊 莱斯利
Leonard Hofstadter. What're you doing here?
莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德 有何贵干
Uh, I know! It's been a while!
是啊 咱俩好久没见了
Yeah, 18 months.
对啊 18个月
Right. Right.
是啊 是啊
So how you doing?
你怎么样啊
Fine. You?
挺好的 你呢
Uh, not bad.
不错
You remember when we used to have sex
你还记得之前咱俩上床
and you said that it didn't mean anything, it was just for fun?
你说这事儿没什么实际意义 只是为了娱乐
Yeah.
是啊
You, uh, want to do that again?
你想再来一次吗
What happened? Blondie dumped you?
怎么了 金发美女把你甩了
She didn't dump me.
不是她甩我
We were just in different places in the relationship.
我俩处在一段关系里的不同位置
Right.
是嘛
Um... anyway, apparently,
随便了 显然呢
it's okay to go back to people you're no longer seeing
找个好久不见的人然后俩人
and have recreational sex with them.
娱乐性地打一炮也没啥不好的吧
So, what do you say?
你觉得如何
Let me think about it.
我考虑下哈
She's not coming back.
她不会再开门了
She wants to meet us.
她想见我们
Not us. Him.
不是我们 是他
Yes, but him doesn't even know about her.
是啊 可是他根本不认识她
Well, him about to find out about her.
哎呀 他会认识她的
Really? Us gonna tell him?
真的吗 我们要告诉他吗
Who's going to tell whom about what?
谁要告诉谁什么
Sheldon.
谢尔顿
Hey. Hi.
嗨
Your surprise confuses me.
你们这么惊讶让我很困惑
I live here.
我住在这儿
Right.
是啊
So, listen, what are you doing tomorrow afternoon?
那个啥 明天下午你什么安排
Be more specific.
说的具体点
4:30.
四点半
That's not afternoon.
那不是下午
That's preevning.
那是下午晚
What?
什么
It's a time of day I invented.
是我发明的描述时间方式
It better defines the ambiguous period
更好地定义了个模棱两可的时段
between afternoon and evening: preevning.
下午和晚上之间 就是傍晚
I'm fairly certain it will catch on as it fills a desperate need.
我确信因为急需精确描述 这词定会广为流传
Right, okay.
好吧
What are you doing tomorrow preevning?
那你明天傍晚准备做什么
Well, tomorrow's Saturday.
明天是周六
Saturday night is laundry night.
周六晚是洗衣夜
So I'll be spending the preevning pre-sorting
所以傍晚我会用来预分选衣物
and pre-soaking.
并预浸湿
Okay, what if I were to tell you, tomorrow, at 4:30,
如果我告诉你 明天4点半
you could meet a woman
你将遇到
who has been scientifically chosen to be your perfect mate?
科学挑选出来的 你的完美伴侣呢
I would snort in derision and throw my arms in the air,
我会嘲讽地哼一声 无奈地摊开双手
exhausted by your constant tomfoolery.
疲于应付你们这种经常的无聊之举
But it's true.
但这是真的
But we-we put all your vital information into this dating site,
我们把你所有重要信息上传到了交友网站
answered all their questions just like you would,
学着你的方式回答了他们所有问题
and they found a match for you. Her name is Amy Farrah Fowler.
他们找到了个跟你匹配的 她叫艾米·菲拉·福勒
Please.
拜托
Even assuming you could answer any question the way I would,
即使你们学得像我的回答
the algorithms used by matchmaking sites are complete hokum.
这种红娘网站的算法 本身就是胡扯的
And that's exactly the answer we gave to the question:
他们问到这个问题的时候 我们就是这么回答的
"What is your attitude towards online dating?"
你对在线交友持何态度
Howard wanted to write "Mumbo jumbo," But I said no.
霍华德想回答"毫无意义" 但我认为不是
Our Sheldon would say "Hokum."
咱谢尔顿会回答"胡扯"
Come on, where's your scientific curiosity?
拜托 你的科学好奇心呢
Well, most of it is being applied to unraveling the secrets of the universe
大部分都用来探索宇宙的秘密了
while the rest of it's wondering why I'm having this conversation with you.
剩下的则用来思考 我为何要跟你们聊这个了
Okay, how about this.
好吧 这么说吧
Even Spock had a date once every seven years.
即使史波克每七年也会约会一次的
He didn't date.
他那不是约会
It was Pon Farr.
那是发情期到了
His blood boiled with mating lust.
他因压抑的性欲而热血沸腾
Well, why-why don't you start with a cup of coffee,
那你何不先喝上杯咖啡
and you can Pon Farr Amy Farrah Fowler later.
晚点就可以跟艾米·菲拉·福勒发发情了
I don't drink coffee.
我不喝咖啡的
All right, you can have a hot chocolate.
好吧 那就喝杯热巧克力
As I will not be engaging in this nonsense,my choice of beverage is moot.
反正我不会去做这种无聊事 选什么饮料无关紧要
But for the record,
但我正式说明下
I only drink hot chocolate in months with an "R" In them.
我只在月份中带有R字母那月才喝热巧克力
（每年九月至次年四月 月份英文中都带有R字母）
Why?
为什么
What's life without whimsy?
不为无益之事 何以遣有涯之生
Okay, I'm out.
好吧 我没辙了
Sheldon, I've hidden the dirty sock from the roof
谢尔顿 我把屋顶拿来的一只脏袜子
somewhere in your apartment.
藏在你们公寓里了
Unless you are willing to come with us to meet this girl,
除非你愿意跟我们去见那女孩
it will remain there forever.
不然 它会永远藏在那
You're bluffing.
你只是在吓唬我
Are you willing to risk it?
你真愿意冒这个险吗
Curse you.
诅咒你
30 feet.
30英尺
Oh. Hey, Leonard.
你好 莱纳德
I was a perfectly happy, geeky, little lonely guy,
我本是个完美的小个子剩男 快乐又书呆
and you ruined me!
是你毁了我
Are you drunk?
你喝醉了吗
Come on. We're gonna have sex, and it's not gonna mean a thing!
拜托 我们上床吧 反正也是没有意义的
Are you out of your mind?!
你疯了吗
I'm really starting to think there's a double standard here.
我真的开始认为 这是双重标准了
In a few minutes,
几分钟后
when I gloat over the failure of this enterprise,
等我幸灾乐祸地冷眼旁观着本次相亲的失败
how would you prefer I do it?
你们更愿意我怎么做
The standard "I told you so"?
是标准答案 我早说过会这样
The classic "Neener-neener"?
还是经典的"哦也哦也"[表嘲讽]
Or just my normal look of haughty derision?
还是用我平常那副高傲嘲弄的表情
You don't know we're wrong yet.
现在还不能断定我们错了
Haughty derision it is.
还是高傲嘲弄表情吧
Excuse me.
打扰下
I'm Amy Farrah Fowler. You're Sheldon Cooper.
我是艾米·菲拉·福勒 你是谢尔顿·库珀
Hello, Amy Farrah Fowler.
你好 艾米·菲拉·福勒
I'm sorry to inform you that you have been taken in
我很遗憾地告诉你 你上当了
by unsupportable mathematics
被设计用来欺骗
designed to prey on the gullible and the lonely.
很傻很天真剩男剩女的无知算法骗了
Additionally, I'm being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock.
此外 我是被一只藏起来的脏袜子勒索了才来的
If that was slang, I'm unfamiliar with it.
那是俚语的话 我从没听说过
If it was literal, I share your aversion to soiled hosiery.
要是字面意义的话 我跟你一样讨厌脏袜子
In any case, I'm here because my mother and I have agreed
无论如何 我来这是因为答应了我妈
that I will date at least once a year.
每年至少约会一次
Interesting.
有意思
My mother and I have the same agreement about church.
我跟我妈在关于上教堂这点上 有过同样对话
I don't object to the concept of a deity,
我并不反对神的概念
but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance.
但实在不理解 上教堂还得点名
Well, then you might want to avoid East Texas.
那你应该不会想去德州东部
Noted.
记住了
Now, before this goes any further,
相亲继续进行之前
you should know that all forms of physical contact
我先声明 所有身体接触
up to and including coitus are off the table.
包括但并不限于交媾 均不予讨论
May I buy you a beverage?
能请你喝杯饮料吗
Tepid water, please.
温水 谢谢
Good God, what have we done?
天哪 瞧瞧我们干了什么