It's amazing people keep coming to comic book stores
说来真奇怪 人们总是来漫画书店买书
instead of just downloading comics digitally.
而不是直接从网上下载电子版的
It's probably for the best.
这样可能更好
For a lot of these guys, the weekly trip here
对于很多宅男来说 这里是每周出门的唯一理由
is the only chance their mom has to go down
他们妈妈也好抓紧自己儿子唯一挪窝的时间
to the basement and change their sheets.
冲进房间换上干净的床单
Oh, that reminds me, I get fresh sheets tonight. Yay.
这倒提醒我 我今晚有干净的新床单睡了
What do you think of New Comic Book Night?
感觉新漫画书之夜如何
Sheldon, I'm disappointed.
谢尔顿 我其实很失望
As a brilliant man,
作为一个天才
you're entitled to a vice.
你也算数一数二的人物
I could understand frequenting an opium den
我能理解你经常逛鸦片窑
or hunting your fellow man for sport.
或是为了好玩去猎杀你的同伴
But this? Lame-o.
但是看漫画 逊咖
Well, A) Comic books employ storytelling through sequential art,
首先 漫画书通过连环画来讲述故事
an medium that dates back 17,000 years
这种方式可追溯到一万七千年前
to the cave paintings of Lascaux,
拉斯科洞穴壁画时代
and B) You play the harp.
其次 你还玩竖琴呢
Like that's cool.
你以为那很酷吗
Can I help you find anything?
要我帮你找漫画吗
A comic that depicts a woman whose bosom
有没有描述一个女人的乳房
can't be used as a flotation device.
不能用来当救生装置的漫画
Sorry. Most of the guys
抱歉 来这里的男生
who come in here like big boobs.
大部分都喜欢大咪咪
Couple of them have big boobs.
有几个自己的咪咪也挺大的
The new Warlords of Ka'a expansion pack is out.
"卡亚战神"出了新的扩展包
A new one? Unbelievable.
又出新的 有没有搞错
They just keep making up more cheesy monsters,
这帮人老是瞎掰一些新的怪物
slapping them on cards and selling them at 25 bucks a pop.
把它们印到卡上 一包卖25块钱
It's like a secret tax on guys who can't get laid.
这是在暗中让没女人的宅男多掏一份税钱
They're not even trying.
他们真是太不给力了
Remember the Satanimals pack with the Hellephant?
还记得那个有"地狱大象"的"邪恶撒旦"包吗
What was he, a bad elephant who died and went to hell?
他算个啥 死了以后下地狱的邪恶大象吗
What could an elephant possibly do
一头大象能干出啥坏事
that would cause him eternal damnation?
死了以后还要被打下地狱
"Wild West and Witches"?
"狂野西部女巫"
What kind of loser cares about a showdown
有哪个白痴会关心
between Billy the Kid and the White Wizard of the North?
比利小子和北方白袍巫师的决战
Obviously, a guy with a six-shooter
不就是一个手持六发左轮手枪的小子
beats an old man with a magic wand.
打败了一个手持魔杖的老人嘛
Uh, what if the wizard casts
要是那个巫师
a Helmet of Confusion spell on Billy the Kid's cowboy hat?
在比利小子的牛仔帽上下了困惑头盔咒呢
This is Billy the Kid we're talking about.
我们说的可是比利小子
I mean, the wizard would get shot between the eyes
巫师还没来得及说话呢
before he could ever get out the words,
就已经被爆头了
"What the hell is Billy the Kid doing
比利小子究竟去
in the mystic realm of Ka'a?"
卡亚秘境干嘛
What's the deal with Sheldon's friend Amy?
谢尔顿和他朋友艾米是啥关系
Are they a couple?
他们是一对吗
Couple of weirdos. Why?
一对怪人倒是真的 怎么了
You interested in Amy?
你对艾米感兴趣吗
Well, I mean, she didn't look through me
我只是觉得她看我的时候
with soul-sucking, ball-shriveling
不会觉得我灵魂恶心 胆小如鼠
hatred and contempt.
也不会一脸厌恶和鄙夷
I like that in a woman.
我喜欢这种女人
Could you run it by Sheldon if I could ask her out?
能否帮我问问谢尔顿 我能不能约她出去玩
Stuart, settle an argument for us.
斯图尔特 帮我们解决下争议
Billy the Kid or the White Wizard?
比利小子还是白袍巫师
If I tell you that,
我要是告诉你们
I'm robbing you of the hours of fun you could have
我就剥夺了你们玩这个游戏的快乐
for the magical, rootin'-tootin' low price of $24.95.
现在超低价 只卖24块9毛5哦
Mm... make it two.
那 要两个吧
I hate all of you and myself. Three.
我恨你们和我自己 要三个
Like shooting nerds in a barrel.
瓮中捉鳖 易如反掌
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Hey, can I talk to you about something?
我能跟你谈件事吗
It's a little awkward.
有点难开口
I know what this is about.
我知道你要说什么
Given the professional standstill you're at,
鉴于你事业上的停滞不前
you're wondering if this is the appropriate time
你现在肯定想知道是否应该
to abandon your research and focus on teaching.
放弃科研 专攻教育事业
And if I may suggest,
而且我建议你
consider changing disciplines.
考虑教别的学科
Yeah, to the humanities-- perhaps history.
比如人文学科 就像历史
One of the advantages of teaching history
教历史的一个好处在于
is that you don't have to create things.
你不用搞创造发明
You know, you just have to remember stuff that happened
你只要记住历史上发生过的事
and then parrot it back.
然后鹦鹉学舌般复述就行
You could have fun with that.
你会觉得很开心的
Yeah, that's not it.
我要说的不是这个
Stuart's kind of interested in Amy.
斯图尔特对艾米感兴趣
Oh, of course he is. She's very interesting.
这当然啦 她是非常有趣的人
Did you know, when she was 14,
你知道吗 她14岁的时候
she severed the webbing between her own toes?
自己把脚趾间连着的皮割开了
He wanted me to find out
他叫我问问
if you'd have a problem with him asking her out.
你介不介意他约艾米出去玩
I'm not sure how to respond, Leonard.
我不确定该怎么回答 莱纳德
I don't own Amy.
艾米又不是我的人
Can't own a person.
我也不能拥有某个人
At least not since...
至少从什么时候开始不能呢
President Lincoln freed the...
因为林肯总统解放了什么呢
Slaves! Come on, Leonard,
黑奴 拜托 莱纳德
if you're going to teach history,
如果你要去教历史
these are the kind of facts you'll have to know.
你就该知道这些历史事件
You know what? Never mind.
好吧 当我没说
I'm going to tell him it's okay to ask her out.
我就让他放心大胆地去约艾米吧
The question is moot.
这问题毫无意义
There is no way that Stuart,
斯图尔特这么一个
an impoverished peddler of picture books,
穷不啦叽的漫画店老板
would be at all appealing to Amy Farrah Fowler,
对艾米·菲拉·福勒毫无吸引力可言
a noted neurobiologist
她可是著名神经生理学家
capable of performing surgery on her own feet
只用罐子里的鲜奶油做出的
with nothing but nitrous oxide
一氧化二氮当麻醉剂
from cans of whipped cream as anesthesia.
就能给自己的脚动手术
All right, but for the record,
好吧 不过强调一下
I checked in with you to see how you'd feel about it.
我可是特意征询过你对此事的感受
Fine. The record shall so reflect.
知道了 我已经如实回答了
Now, getting back to the problem at hand,
现在我们回到要紧的问题上
what to do with a washed-up experimental physicist...
失败的实验物理学家应该怎么办...
I am not washed-up.
我没有失败
Lots of people love you and want to help you,
有很多人关心你 想帮助你
but they can't until you admit the problem.
但除非你正视自己的问题 否则都是徒劳
Well, ladies, we killed the bottle.
姑娘们 我们喝完了一瓶
I had half a glass.
我只喝了半杯
- I didn't have any. - Okay, don't judge me.
- 我一点都没喝上 -好吧 别怪我
So, what do you want to do--
你们想玩什么
go to the movies, go dancing, lay down for a little bit?
看电影 去跳舞 还是去躺一会
Or we play... Travel Twister.
或者我们可以玩扭扭乐
Amy, really? Twister?
真的吗 艾米 扭扭乐
Excuse me. I've passed many an enjoyable evening playing this game.
拜托 扭扭乐伴我度过了无数个美好的夜晚
And I'm sure it's a lot more exciting
而且我觉得和别人一起玩
when you play with other people.
肯定更有趣
What do you say, bestie? We can do shirts and skins.
怎么样 闺蜜 我们分成穿衣队和不穿衣队
I'm shirts. Called it.
我是穿衣队 不好意思先挑咯
I'm too small for Twister.
我太娇小了 不能玩扭扭乐
And roller coasters.
过山车也不行
And sitting with my feet on the floor.
坐着的时候脚也够不到地上
Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes, Mom.
都怪你怀孕的时候抽烟 妈妈
Hey, you know, my mom smoked pot when she was pregnant with me,
我妈妈怀孕的时候也抽烟
and I turned out just fine.
但我身心发育完好
Hey, look, I have peach schnapps.
瞧 还有蜜桃酒呢
Guys, something happened.
姑娘们 出事了
I think a boy likes me.
我觉得有个男生喜欢我
"Hi. It's Stuart.
你好 我是斯图尔特
"We met at the comic book store.
我们在漫画店里见过
"I was wondering if you'd like to get coffee sometime.
不知道我能不能约你出来喝杯咖啡
"It's okay if you say no.
你拒绝也没关系
"It might be the kick in the pants I need
就是这打击有点大
to start taking Zoloft."
没准我得去吃片舍曲林[抗焦虑药物]
Amy, little vixen.
艾米 你个小狐狸精
Just working it under all those layers of wool and polyester.
衣服穿这么多 还挡不住你的骚气呀
What are you going to do?
你要怎么办
Doesn't he know you have a boyfriend?
他不知道你有男朋友了吗
Oh, she doesn't have a boyfriend;
她有的不是男朋友
So do you like Stuart?
你喜欢斯图尔特吗
He has the sallow, drawn countenance
就是有些面黄肌瘦
associated with an overactive thyroid gland.
还有活跃得不太正常的甲状腺
That's kind of hot.
那还挺性感的
Okay, look, sweetie, we all love Sheldon,
好吧 亲爱的 我们都喜欢谢尔顿
but you've been with him over a year now.
但你和他一起都一年多了
If it's not going anywhere,
如果没有新进展
what does it hurt to look around?
何不发展新恋情呢
Well, yeah, I guess they're not engaged like me and Howie.
就是 他们也没订婚 不像我和华仔
Yeah, for what it's worth,
好吧 不管怎样
engaged people can look around, too.
就算订了婚也可以反悔的
Lot of options out there.
外面的世界很精彩哦
He left me in charge.
他让我看店
I don't get it, either.
我也搞不懂
I want to return this
我想退掉这个
"Wild West and Witches Ka'a" expansion pack.
"荒野西部与卡亚女巫"的扩展包
Sorry. I don't do returns.
抱歉 我不处理退货
Uh, when will Stuart be back?
斯图尔特什么时候回来
I don't know. He went out for coffee.
我不知道 他出去喝咖啡了
Oh, I guess I was wrong.
我想我错了
Leonard, I'm on a lifelong trajectory
莱纳德 我这辈子迟早会拿诺贝尔奖
that includes a Nobel Prize and cities named after me,
有座城市还要以我的名字命名
all four wisdom teeth
我的四颗智齿
fit comfortably in my mouth without need of extraction,
在我嘴里安稳地长着 完全不用拔掉
and my bowel movements run like a German train schedule.
我的肠道活动就像德国火车一样规律
Wild Bill Witchcock.
荒野女巫柯克
A tribe of Abra-Comanches.
阿布拉-科曼切部落
I'm very disappointed in you cowpokes.
我对你们这些牛仔很失望
We're playing our inaugural round of "Wild West and Witches" ,
这是咱们第一次玩"狂野西部女巫"
and I'm the only one
居然只有我一个人
who bothered to dress for the occasion.
费尽苦心地穿了应景的服装
We're not wearing cowboy hats, Sheldon.
我们才不要戴牛仔帽呢 谢尔顿
It looks ridiculous.
看起来好白痴
And I suppose my boots and spurs are ridiculous, too?
这么说我的靴子和马刺也很白痴咯
- Yeah. - Very. - Incredibly so.
-是的 -非常白痴 -超级白痴
Did it look ridiculous when we got the Satanimals pack
那咱们上次玩"撒旦动物"时
and I dressed up as a Beelzebobcat?
我装扮成"恶魔猫"也很白痴吗
- Yeah. - Very. - Incredibly so.
-是的 -非常白痴 -超级白痴
All right, fine. Let's just play.
好吧 算了 咱就纯玩吧
We should go easy on him.
咱们今天晚上就饶了他吧
Amy's out with Stuart tonight.
艾米今晚跟斯图尔特出去了
Are you telling me that Sheldon's patented blend
你是说谢尔顿的不可一世
of condescension and no sex
和无性交往的专利
isn't enough to hold on to a woman?
留不住一个女人吗
Cluck, cluck, cluck.
傻笑 傻笑 傻笑
What are we, ladies at a quilting bee?
咱是聚在一起缝棉被的家庭妇女吗
Or are we men playing a fantasy card game
还是正在玩一个背景设在魔幻边境的
set in a magical frontier town?
魔幻桌游的一群男人
Hocus Pocus Pocahontas.
魔幻波卡洪塔斯[印第安公主]
And may I point out it is the three of you
容我说一句 你们仨
who are obsessed with Stuart and Amy, not me.
真是皇帝不急 太监急
I think you need to ask yourselves
你们才该扪心自问一下
who's really being ridiculous here.
究竟谁才是白痴
- It's you. - You are. - Totally you.
-你 -是你 -绝对是你
Hey, guys, check it out.
伙计们 看呀
The deluxe limited edition "Wild West and Witches"
这是装在金属盒里 附上签名的
expansion pack in the signed and numbered collector's tin.
豪华限量版的"狂野西部女巫"
We just bought the regular pack.
我们刚买了平装版
Ooh, a sheriff's badge.
是警徽
Yeah, it's also a wand.
没错 还是根魔杖
With a hologram? Nice!
还有全息图呢 真漂亮
Hey, do you see this?
你看见没
I'm in the matrix, Leonard; I see everything.
我在矩阵里 莱纳德 我什么都看得见
You got to be kidding me.
你搞什么
You friended Stuart on Facebook?
你在Facebook加了斯图尔特为好友
I thought you didn't like Facebook anymore.
你不是不喜欢玩Facebook了嘛
I'm a fan of anything that tries to
我喜欢一切试图取代
replace actual human contact.
人类面对面接触的东西
You're looking at Facebook to find out how their date went.
你上Facebook就为看他们约会得如何
You think I care if a man, what,
我觉得我会关心一个大男人
"shared a pumpkin latte with a dynamite lady"?
"跟一位绝世美女分享一杯南瓜拿铁"吗
You're so full of it.
你真是醋劲十足
You are free to believe whatever you like.
随便你怎么想
And unfriend Rajesh Koothrappali.
取消和拉杰什·库萨帕里的好友关系
You unfriended me? Seriously?
你取消了和我的好友关系 真的吗
Now he's gonna miss all those great updates like,
他这下就要错过你的精彩更新了 像是
"I can't believe I waited this long
"我真不敢相信我居然等了这么久
to make my own potpourri"
才整理出我的个人文集“
Sheldon, why don't you just acknowledge
谢尔顿 你何不直接承认
that you have feelings for Amy
你喜欢艾米
and you don't want her going out with other men?
而且你不想她跟其他男人约会呢
And unfriend Leonard Hofstadter.
解除和莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德的好友关系
Here's a radical thought.
我有个激进点的主意
Go old-school, challenge Stuart to a fight.
你干脆采取老一套 跟斯图尔特决斗吧
I mean, nothing makes the ladies hotter
没有什么能比两个瘦骨嶙峋的白人男子
than two skinny white guys
闭着眼猛敲对方
swatting at each other with their eyes closed.
更能让一个女人热血沸腾的了
And unfriend Howard Wolowitz.
解除与霍华德·沃罗威茨的好友关系
- Can I use the laptop? - Why?
-电脑借我用一下吧 -干嘛
I have to buy that stupid collector's tin.
我要买那个傻逼收集版的游戏
- Who do we love? - Penny.
-我们大家都爱谁 -佩妮
- Who do we love? - Penny.
-我们大家都爱谁 -佩妮
- Who do we love? - Penny.
-我们大家都爱谁 -佩妮
- Thank you. - What's up?
-谢谢 -怎么了
I came to ask if you would like to go on a date with me.
我是来问你 愿不愿意跟我约会的
perhaps you'd like to take in a prizefight.
没准你会有兴趣参加个职业拳击赛什么的
God, are you trying to make Amy jealous?
天啊 你是想让艾米吃醋吗
Why is everyone so obsessed with Amy and Stuart?
为何大家这么关心艾米和斯图尔特呢
Whether or not they may be having more pumpkin lattes
讨论他们今晚是否会继续喝南瓜拿铁
or intercourse tonight.
或今晚是否会发生关系
Okay, listen to me.
好吧 听我说
Playing games is not gonna help get Amy back.
耍把戏是不会帮你把艾米抢回来的
I am not trying to get her back.
我没准备把她抢回来
But, out of curiosity, what is a way?
不过 纯属好奇 怎么才能把她抢回来呢
All right, honey, let me tell you a story.
好吧 亲爱的 我给你讲个故事吧
There was a guy I liked, and I never told him how I felt.
我喜欢过一个男人 但从未对他表白过
Eventually, he started going out with someone else,
最终他开始跟别人约会
and I always regretted it.
于是我一直很后悔
Do you see where I'm going with this?
你明白我的意思了吗
That would explain so much.
这就解释了一切
Your constant presence in my apartment,
你总是赖在我家不走
that baffling dalliance with Leonard just to be near me,
你和莱纳德厮混也只是为了靠近我
the way you call me "sweetie" all the time.
还有你一直叫我"亲爱的"
I call everyone "sweetie."
我见谁都叫"亲爱的"
Look, Sheldon, all I'm saying is
谢尔顿 我的意思是
strap on a pair and go talk to Amy.
带点种 去找艾米谈谈吧
Oh, sweetie, you are so not the guy.
亲爱的 绝对不是你
If you're bored, you can go.
无聊的话 你可以先走
No, I'm having a nice time.
不 我看得很开心
Don't patronize me.
别屈尊安慰我了
Excuse me. Excuse me.
抱歉 借过
Pardon me. Excuse me.
不好意思 借过
Pardon me... Excuse me...
借过一下 不好意思
Sheldon, what are you doing here?
谢尔顿 你来干嘛
The thought of you sitting in a darkened theater
我只要一想到你跟斯图尔特那厮
with a character like Stuart is repellent.
坐在漆黑的影院中 一股厌恶之情就油然而生
No offense, Stuart.
无意冒犯 斯图尔特
Although "repellent" is kind of a... kind of a strong word.
虽然"厌恶"这词儿...有点重了
I'm sorry this causes you discomfort,
抱歉让你不快了
but based on the currently established parameters of our relationship,
但基于我们关系目前的既定参数
I can put myself in any repellent situation I want.
只要我乐意 我可以做任何让你厌恶的事情
Stuart, please. You're being rude.
拜托 斯图尔特 你这样很无礼
I believe I would like to alter the paradigm of our relationship.
我想改变我俩的关系模式
With the understanding that nothing changes whatsoever,
基于无论如何都维持原状的共识
physical or otherwise,
包括身体或其他方面
I would not object to
我将不会不同意
us no longer characterizing you as "not my girlfriend."
也不再把你定位为"不是我女朋友"
Now try it without the quadruple negative.
现在把"不"字去掉再给我说一遍
You're being impossible.
你别得寸进尺
will you be my girlfriend?
你愿意做我女朋友吗
- Yes. - Well, that's enough of that.
-愿意 -好 这样就够了
Sorry to interrupt.
抱歉打扰你们了
You two enjoy your date.
祝两位约会愉快
Here's a dollar for your troubles.
给你一块钱 就当我给你添麻烦了
Get yourself some Sour Patch Kids.
自己去买点酸软糖吃吧
Excuse me... Excuse me... Pardon me...
不好意思 借过一下 抱歉
So, other than you taking your relationship
除了让你和另一个家伙的关系
to the next level with another guy, this was nice.
更近一步之外 今晚还是很美好的
Yes, well, thanks for seeing me to my door.
是啊 谢谢送我到家门口
Let's wrap things up out there.
外面解决好再进门
Um, good night, Stuart.
晚安 斯图尔特
Take the hint, Stuart.
别装傻了 斯图尔特
The lady said "Good night."
人家都说晚安了
How did you get into my apartment?
你怎么进来我家的
Is that the kind of nagging I can expect
是不是你成了我女朋友
now that you're my girlfriend?
从今往后我就要听这种唠叨呀
Good thing I drew this up.
幸好我起草好合同了
I present to you the relationship agreement.
我给你拿来了《恋爱合同》
A binding covenant that, in its 31 pages,
这是份有约束力的契约书 在这31页里
enumerates, iterates and codifies
列举 重申并整理出
the rights and responsibilities of Sheldon Lee Cooper,
谢尔顿·李·库珀的权利与义务
here and after known as "the boyfriend,"
以下简称"男友"
and Amy Farrah Fowler,
艾米·菲拉·福勒的权利义务
here and after known as "the girlfriend""
以下简称"女友"
It's so romantic.
这真是太浪漫了
Mutual indemnification always is.
你我一向都是相补的
Why don't you start perusing while I set up my notary stamp.
在我准备公证人印章时 你可以开始阅读条款了
"Section 5: Hand-holding.
第五条 牵手
"Hand-holding is only allowed
牵手仅允许在
under the following circumstances.
以下情况中发生:
"A: Either party is in danger of falling off a cliff,
A 任何一方身处坠落悬崖
precipice or ledge;
绝壁或暗礁的危险时
B: Either party is deserving of a hearty handshake
B 在任何一方赢得诺贝尔奖时
after winning a Nobel Prize;
必须衷心握手庆贺
C: Moral support during flu shots"
C 感冒时给予精神支持时
Seems a bit restrictive.
这条条框框也太多了吧
Feel free to retain a lawyer.
尽管去找律师好了
Penny, I said "right hand red."
佩妮 我说的是"右手红色"
Yeah, I heard you.
对 我听到了
Bernadette, left foot yellow.
伯纳黛特 左脚黄色
We should play limbo next.
接下来我们该玩《地狱边境》
No one beats me at limbo.
没人玩得过我
Penny. Amy. Bernadette.
佩妮 艾米 伯纳黛特
That's my boyfriend.
是我男朋友
What do you want me to do about it?
你想让我做什么
Relationship agreement Section 4: Boo-boos and Ouchies.
《恋爱合同》第四条 小伤小痛
You have to take care of it.
你得照顾它
I should've gotten a lawyer.
我真该找个律师的
Looks like it's just us playing.
看来就剩咱俩玩了
Penny, we're out of wine!
佩妮 酒都喝光啦
You should probably drive.
你赶紧开车去买吧