Gentlemen, I think I've come up with a fun way
to get young people interested in science.
- Now, give me a number. - Five.
And an irrational constant.
And a funny Greek letter.
- Upsilon? - Good one.
And an electrical charge.
"Professor Jones told the symposium
he had a new method for calculating the mass of a muon.
Five times the limit of 'E' to the upsilon as..."
I haven't seen him laugh that hard
since the day Leonard made that multiplication error.
Oh, Oh, Lord, that multiplication error!
He thought he carried the one.
That mistake got published.
Stop! I'm going to wet myself!
Hey, guys, guys, President Siebert is headed this way.
伙计们 伙计们 赛博特校长朝咱们走过来了
- I wonder what he wants. - Doesn't look happy,
so I'm guessing he wants to talk to Sheldon.
Oh, President Siebert,
I assume you'd like to respond to one of the suggestions
I put in the box by your office.
No, and stop installing suggestion boxes everywhere.
You don't like written suggestions.
You don't like when I give them to you
while we're urinating in the men's room.
If I didn't know you any better, I'd say that you're one of those
stubborn people who are not open to suggestions.
Dr. Cooper, the physics department chair tells me
you're refusing to take your vacation.
I don't need a vacation.
You're obligated to take one.
And I'd also like you to know the most-often received
suggestion in my suggestion box you installed without asking me
is "Can Dr. Cooper take a vacation?"
Okay, settled, then. I'll see y'all of you Monday,
好吧 问题解决 那咱们就周一见咯
But if I don't come into work,
what am I supposed to do with myself?
Read, rest, travel.
看书 休息 旅游
I hear Afghanistan is nice this time of year.
No. You should go.
本字幕由 YYeTs人人影视 翻译制作更多美剧原创翻译 请登陆 www.YYeTs.com
* Black Eyed Peas 《I Gotta Feeling》*
* That tonight's gonna be a good night *
* 今夜将是个美好的夜晚 *
* And tonight's gonna be a good night *
* 今夜将是个美好的夜晚 *
* And tonight's gonna be a good, good night *
* 今夜将是个美好得不得了的夜晚 *
* Tonight's the night, uh, uh *
* 就是今夜 *
* Let's live it up, uh *
* 齐来狂欢 *
* I got my money, let's spend it up... *
* 钱早备好 尽情挥霍...*
Would you stop that caterwauling!
What the hell are you doing?!
Bleeding from my ears.
What are you doing hiding back there?
I'm sneaking into work.
Now, if the guard at the university asks
what's under the blanket,
you tell him it's some lobster traps.
- Lobster traps? - Yes.
That's how Velma and Scooby
smuggled Shaggy into the old lighthouse.
What are you going to do when you get to the university?
People are going to recognize you.
Will they, Leonard?
Fine. Just get back under your blanket,
and I'll drive you there.
And no more singing.
I have GPS on my phone.
I know you turned around.
I'm so glad you talked Howard
out of having your wedding invitations in Klingon.
I'm hoping my relatives think it's Hebrew.
This is really happening.
I'm gonna be a maid of honor.
I'm gonna wear a beautiful dress and walk down that aisle
and, finally, I will have my special day.
You mean my special day?
They're gonna need an extra-large veil for somebody's head.
If I ever actually ever get married.
'Cause I make a lot more money than Howie,
he's putting a lot of pressure on me to get a prenup.
Yeah. Howie's gonna freak out.
Parental pressure can be daunting.
I remember the battle with my mother about shaving my legs.
Last year, I finally gave in and let her do it.
I just don't know how I'm gonna break it to him.
You know, I'm a big believer in breaking bad news
to a guy when you're in bed with him.
That's how I told my high school boyfriend
I slept with his brother.
That's how I told his brother the same thing.
I don't know, I don't want to manipulate him with sex.
Oh, sweetie, that's what sex is for.
You know, the connection between marriage and money is nothing new.
In fact, the term "wed" referred to the money and livestock
that the groom paid the bride's father.
intelligent and a good earner.
I could conservatively see you going for
at least two oxen and a goose.
You would fetch a unicorn.
Sheldon, there are a million great vacations you could take.
What about Hawaii?
Hawaii is a former leper colony on top of an active volcano
where the disappointing ending to Lost was filmed.
Mahalo for nothing, Hawaii.
How about Florida?
They got Cape Canaveral,
they got Disney, they got my Aunt Ida
and the world's largest collection of diabetic candy.
Plus, if you get sweaty enough,
her plastic-covered furniture is like a flume ride.
My family took a trip to Florida when I was a child.
A seagull stole a hot dog from me on the beach.
I got the message.
You know, if I had a week off, I'd go back
to the Two Bunch Palms Resort and Spa in the desert.
I tell you, an hour on the massage table with Trevor,
and you'll feel like you were born without bones.
I don't think I could ever let a guy give me a massage.
Really? What was I doing to your neck last night
while you were playing X-Box?
It's like I'm living in a dictatorship.
"You must take a vacation, you must have fun,
you must enjoy life."
I don't think you have a good handle on dictatorships.
Sheldon, everybody takes vacations.
One time they tried to make Richard Feynman take a vacation,
but he chose instead to expand his mind
and learn something new.
He went to work in his friend's biology lab.
Richard Feynman was a famous American physicist,
part of the Manhattan Project.
Everyone in the world of science knows who Richard Feynman was.
Now you do, too.
Oh! I have a brilliant idea.
Amy's a biologist. I'll go work in her lab.
Isn't that just Feynman's idea?
Ten seconds ago, you never heard of him.
Now you're an expert.
- Hey, you. - Is that your laundry?
You only have, like, six things in there.
Yeah, I didn't have any quarters,
so I've been sneaking stuff into other people's loads all day.
Hey, if I tell you something,
will you promise not to tell anybody?
It doesn't matter what I say, you're gonna tell me anyway.
What? That is not true.
Bernadette wants a prenup.
Wow. That's rough.
So you're saying if I became a famous movie star,
we got married, you wouldn't sign a prenup?
If I'm gonna be stuck at home with the kids
while you're on location
cheating on me with Ryan Gosling...
then Leonard gots to get paid.
So, you think about us getting married?
I think about a lot of things.
I think about us getting married,
I think about us breaking up.
Once in a while, I think about
how I didn't leave a note on that Mercedes
I dinged in the parking lot last month,
but then I have a glass of wine and it passes.
Joke all you want, but you think about it.
Well, tell you one thing,
if I ever do get married, no Klingon invitations.
Good luck catching a man with that attitude.
This vacation is off to a wonderful start.
The smell of formaldehyde...
the whir of the centrifuge,
the distant chatter of lab animals
being dispatched for dissection.
Mm, I can already feel my cares just melting away.
I'm excited to work with my boyfriend.
It's gonna be romantic.
Way to kill the mood.
Come on, Sheldon.
We can be like Marie Curie and her husband, Pierre,
who spent their days working side by side,
bathed in the glow of their love and the radium
that ultimately killed her.
Screw Beauty and the Beast;
that's the love story Disney should tell.
Okay, what do we start with?
Maybe splicing some genes, clone a sheep,
perhaps grow a human ear on a mouse's back?
Ha-ha, I'm a freak!
Oh, I'm gonna be doing some brain stem histology
while you put yourself on the business end
of a sponge and wash those beakers.
Oh, I get it, a little hazing for the new fella.
Yeah, I'd better keep an eye out for, what,
shoe polish on the microscope,
or mad cow disease in my grilled cheese sandwich?
No, I just need those beakers washed.
Hippity-hop, quick like a bunny.
Wha...? Excuse me, you have Dr. Sheldon Cooper in your lab.
You're gonna make him do the dishes?
That's like asking the Incredible Hulk
to open a pickle jar.
Sheldon, you've never worked in a lab like this before.
You have no experience in the field of biology.
I have plenty of experience in biology.
I bought a Tamagotchi in 1998.
- Where's Howard? - No "Hi, Raj"?
No "How are you, Raj?"
Just straight to "Where's the other white guy?"
So, listen, I heard something about him.
Can you keep it between us?
When I first got here, I thought you Americans
really gossiped around the water cooler.
So I hung out there for, like, a month,
but the only gossip I ever heard was about some creepy guy
hanging out by the water cooler.
Bernadette wants to get a prenup.
Oh, that's a shame-- he's gonna be devastated.
I never know what to do in these situations.
Should I give him a heads-up?
Hmm. I'm gonna give you the same advice
I yell at the TV when the Bachelor's handing out roses.
Look at the size of that Rice Krispie Treat!
Hey, Howard, I need to tell you something.
I know, it's not on my wedding diet.
heard that Bernadette's thinking about asking you for a prenup.
What are you gonna do?
You know what, it's... not a big deal.
She makes more money than me.
She wants to protect her financial interests.
It's completely reasonable.
Good. That's a healthy attitude.
Yeah, actually, it's good for both of us.
I have assets to protect, too.
I've got some rare comic books.
The Vespa's almost paid off.
And Ma and I have a primo double cemetery plot at Mt. Sinai
right near the guy who played Mr. Roper on Three's Company.
Mr. Roper's dead?!
You can't just spring that on a guy!
This is now the only lab
with glassware washed by a man with two doctorates
and a restraining order signed by Carl Sagan.
Soap spots. Wash 'em again.
Y... You're being ridiculous!
Those are perfectly clean.
Sheldon, this beaker used to contain cerebral spinal fluid
from an elephant that died of syphilis.
If it's, in fact, perfectly clean,
Biologists are mean.
All right, perhaps this task will be a little bit more up your alley.
I need you to count the bacteria spores on these petri dishes.
There was something wrong with that detergent.
That was way too bubbly.
- I'm sure it was. - I intend to write
that soap company a strongly worded letter.
Yeah, good for you. Now, start counting.
好吧 不错 现在开始数吧
You know what this place needs?
How's counting going?
When I was in kindergarten,
I recited pi to a thousand places for the school talent show.
- I think I got this. - Great.
This is preposterous!
I think you're giving me these tasks
because you're afraid if you give me anything meaningful to do,
Really? Is that what you think?
Yes, that's what I think.
And I'm super smart, so it's probably true.
Hey, I've been training in the field of neurobiology for 12 years.
You've been here for three hours,
and you've spent one of them in the bathroom.
I'm sorry! It takes me a while
to get things going on an unfamiliar toilet.
Sheldon, I've given you the simplest things to do,
and you haven't done one of them right.
Maybe that's because I'm not being challenged.
It's the same reason Einstein failed math.
Maybe the math was too bubbly for him.
You think you're doing science by cutting up that brain?
They could do the same thing at any Quiznos.
And they'd offer to toast it for me, too.
I'm about to remove the locus coeruleus,
which is incredibly delicate work.
I'm no stranger to a little gray matter.
You're getting warmer一般用在猜谜或游戏活动中
You're getting warmer-- it is, indeed, in the brain.
Hope your hands are steady.
It's the width of a single hair.
But this is just biology,
so I'm sure it's no problem for a genius like you.
It's not. I'll have you know, in the field of physics,
we work with particles so small,
they make fat jokes about the locus coeruleus.
I.e., when your locus coeruleus sits around the house,
it sits around the house.
Oh... are we nervous, Dr. Cooper?
is a man trembling with confidence.
Does a locus coeruleus normally bleed that much?
No. But your thumb does.
Yeah, you're a biologist.
What are you doing here?
Social convention dictates
that I let my hair down at a local watering hole.
Social convention is stupid.
What happened to your thumb?
I have ten fingers and ten toes.
If I tell you a story about each one of them,
we'll be here all day-- let's just move on.
Ah, seeing as I'm on vacation,
uh, Pina Colada seems appropriate.
Extra pineapple slices, extra whipped cream,
extra cherries, extra umbrellas,
and, uh, hold the rum.
Don't let me have too many of those.
Hey, what are you guys doing here?
We're grown men; we drink at bars.
Everything okay with you and Bernadette?
You and Amy? Good?
Oh, better than good.
You know those girls text me every detail of their lives as it happens.
I'm not signing a prenup.
All right, Howard Wolowitz, listen up.
好吧 霍华德·沃罗威茨 给我听着
You sign anything she puts in front of you,
because you are the luckiest man alive.
If you let her go,
there is no way you can find anyone else--
speaking on behalf of all women,
it is not gonna happen; we had a meeting.
And you, a grown man
- fainting at the sight of a little blood. - Excuse me,
this is a fairly substantial wound.
I was kind of hoping I could continue vacationing in your laboratory.
After all, I did book the whole week.
Do you honestly think you can just waltz back in here
after the way you behaved yesterday?
I was not myself.
I had lost a lot of thumb blood.
That's not an apology.
That is your opinion.
I want a real apology.
- I'm sorry that you weren't able to... - No.
...that my genius...
...that the soap was...
Now, if you want to stay, get started on those beakers.
They're still dirty from yesterday.
Next year I'm going to EPCOT.
Are you mad at me?
No. I'm not mad at you.
wish you would have come to me,
so I didn't have to hear it through the nerd-vine.
So, what are we gonna do?
You really want me to sign a prenup?
My dad's pretty insistent on it, though.
Why don't I talk to your dad, man-to-man?
Really? Oh, that'd be so great!
I should probably give you a heads-up about a couple of things.
Even though he's retired from the police force,
he still carries his gun.
But don't worry, he won't shoot it.
It's more of a fashion statement.
And just to be safe, when you talk to him,
don't bring up Jimmy Carter, gardeners,
foreign people, homosexuals, Sean Penn,
外国人 同性恋者 西恩·潘
Vatican II, gun control, organic food,
第二次梵蒂冈大公会议 枪支管理法 有机食品
the designated hitter rule, recycling or the fact that you're Jewish.
指定打击规则 资源回收 或你是犹太人的事实
Will you e-mail me that list?
So the thing to watch for,
if he's shouting at you, you're okay,
but if he starts to get real quiet,
leave as quickly as you can without making eye contact.
Not in a straight line-- throw some zigs and zigs in there.
You know, this isn't that pressing.
Why don't I talk to him about it in May.
In May you're gonna be on the International Space Station.
They got a phone.