Who wants the last dumpling?
We just had Thai food.
In that culture, the last morsel is called
the "Greng Jai" piece, and it is reserved for
the most important and valued member of the group.
Thank you all for this high honor.
I've seen pictures of your mother, keep eating.
All right, honey, if we're gonna make the movie, we should go.
好了亲爱的 如果我们要看电影 现在就该走了
This may be hard for you to hear,
but when I say "honey," I mean my fiance.
Yeah, well, now it means her.
It's okay if he wants to come.
Fine. But next time, we get a sitter.
All right, I got to go to work.
- I'll walk down with you. - Wait.
Which is closer to the new train store in Monrovia,
the movie theater or The Cheesecake Factory?
Neither of them are close.
Oh, well, then I guess it doesn't matter
which one of you drives me.
Let's play a fun guessing game
to see who gets to take me.
All right, this four-letter word describes either
a printer's type size or a compulsion to eat dirt.
Okay, I'm not driving him.
Penny, don't give up, you can get this.
Aren't you going with Sheldon?
No, I have no interest in model trains,
stores that sell them, nor their heartbreaking clientele.
Well, I have some work to do, so...
I can't imagine that would disturb me.
Wouldn't you be more comfortable at home?
Guess I'll just get started.
Leonard, please. I don't need the running commentary.
莱纳德 拜托 我不需要实况报道
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I thought you were reading.
Now I'm thinking about what I read.
You all right, Leonard?
You seem very uncomfortable.
I've been told sometimes I overstay my welcome.
Wha... who told you that?
Well, most recently my gynecologist.
Well, you stay as long as you'd like.
I'm glad to hear you say that,
because I'm having a wonderful time.
I said the same thing to my gynecologist.
What are you going to get at the train store, Sheldon?
Oh, I'm not buying anything.
They're having a lecture.
"H-O gauge railroading.
Half the size of O-gauge, but twice the fun."
Very controversial topic.
Which side do you come down on?
I'll let you know after tonight.
Unlike some people, I'm going in with an open mind.
Who am I kidding?
Of course we all know it's O-gauge or no gauge.
显而易见 O轨距铁路 舍O其谁
Can you believe grown men sit around and play with toy trains?
That's pretty big talk for a man
with a closet full of magic tricks at his mother's house.
First of all, they're not tricks, they're illusions.
首先 那不是把戏 那都是我的"幻想"
secondly, when we get married, they're all going up
其次 当我们结婚后 那些玩意都会被
in the attic so you can have that closet for clothes.
Why would I keep clothes at your mother's house?
Well, don't think of it that way.
Once we move in, it'll be our house.
Is she moving out?
Why would she move out?
You seriously think I'm going to live with your mother?
Howard, I think I can help here.
Yes, Bernadette, that's exactly what he thinks.
是的 伯纳黛特 他就是这么想的
It's a great house, plenty of room,
and if we have kids, Mom's there to help.
You know, when she tells "The Three Little Pigs" story,
she actually has hair on her chinny-chin-chin.
I'm not gonna live with your mother.
Not now, not ever.
Wow, someone obviously has some mommy issues.
Raj, take me home.
Don't listen to her. Go to the movie theater.
Okay, everybody calm down.
There is a simple solution here.
Raj, take me to the train store,
and then I don't care what you people do.
How was your shower?
Just out of curiosity, what time do you usually go to bed?
Oh, I'm up all night.
I'm like a possum.
Boy, you were not liked in high school, were you?
Is that my yearbook?
"Dear Leonard, you're really good at science.
Maybe one day you'll come up
with a cure for being a dork".
Well, it wasn't spray-painting a Lightning Bolt
on my briefcase, I can tell you that.
If it makes you feel any better,
the only person who signed my yearbook was my mother.
self-respect and a hymen are better than friends and fun.
Well, you can add Jerry's Junction
to the list of train stores
Sheldon Cooper will never set foot in again.
Rough night, Casey Jones?
You don't know the half of it.
It was billed as a lively give-and-take
on the merits of model train sizes.
But it was actually a setup to intimidate
weak-minded spineless rubes into buying H-O starter sets.
What's in the bag?
I don't want to talk about it.
But it's not a spine, I'll tell you that.
Well, I had a delightful evening, Leonard.
We should do this again sometime.
Ah, sure. That'd be nice.
Glad to hear it.
I need someone to accompany me to the wedding
of Dr. Moranelli and Dr. Gustufson this Friday.
They're kind of the Brad and Angelina
of the primatology department.
Wouldn't you rather bring Sheldon?
I would, but the last wedding we went to was a disaster.
He behaved like a child the entire time.
You said there'd be other scientists there my age.
Doesn't matter. You're out, he's in.
无所谓了 反正你出局了 这次我带莱纳德去
No date to the prom,
two dates to a wedding.
Hmm, how times change.
Ha-ha, you have to go to a wedding.
Could you get it?!
I just said I'm getting it!
Fine, I'll get it!
I don't want to fight.
I was just surprised when you sprung
the whole living-with-your-mom stuff on me.
Yeah, well, I'm sorry I didn't run it by you first.
I don't know who you're talking to,
but in or out!
We don't need bugs!
The bugs only come here
because you're their queen!
Listen, how about this.
Before we make any kind of decision
about where we live, we have a trial run.
Stay here for a weekend, see what it's like.
And your mom would be okay with that?
Ma, do you mind if Bernadette stays here this weekend?!
妈 伯纳黛特在咱们家过周末 行吗
Hey, if she's willing to give the milk away for free,
who am I to say no?!
See? She's good with it.
Frankly, after all your sleepovers
with the little brown boy, a girl is a big relief!
All these years, I've been so wrong.
The tinier the train, the more concentrated the fun.
You're a brain scientist.
Can you explain to me why a brilliant man
likes playing with toy trains?
Not without cutting his head open, no.
How about making my eyes like Cleopatra?
Really? For a wedding?
Perhaps you're right.
My cheekbones and beckoning pelvis
already have a certain "hello sailor" quality to them.
He's better than James Bond, because he's tinier.
I got you this to give to me.
Oh, sweetie, guests don't normally
wear corsages to a wedding.
That's more of a prom thing.
I never went to my prom.
My mom paid my cousin to take me,
but he just used the money to buy drugs.
Put the corsage on her.
Amy, this is for you.
When you're done copping a feel, that goes on my wrist.
I'm an H-O trainiac.
So, dinner went nice.
Yeah. Yeah, I guess.
Does your mother always cut your meat for you?
Only when it's fatty.
Well, don't be jealous, babe.
Someday you'll get to cut it for me.
I found the extra head for the Waterpik if you want to use it!
I'm okay, Mrs. Wolowitz.
I just squirted half a brisket outta my teeth!
Hey, Ma, how about a little privacy?!
Oh, I know what that means!
Relax, it'll be fine.
Let me know when you're done canoodling!
Mommy needs a foot rub!
Would you like to dance?
I'm really not much of a dancer.
You're not exactly winning any trophies
as a conversationalist, either.
The bride and groom seem happy.
Why shouldn't they be?
They have a feverish night of
socially-approved copulation ahead of them.
In some cultures, we'd stand outside of their bedroom
cheering as they achieved orgasm.
That sounds like a late night,
and I have work in the morning, so...
Leonard, you may not have noticed,
but I am being a delight here.
And you're not holding up your end of the evening.
Oh, sorry. This wedding just reminds me
of my kinda-sorta girlfriend 9,000 miles away.
I have a kinda-sorta boyfriend who's playing with a model train right now,
you don't hear me bitching about it.
Leonard, a word of advice-- moody self-obsession
莱纳德 友情提示一下 装忧郁
is only attractive in men who can play guitar
and are considerably taller than you.
You have any evidence to support that statement?
Well, hey, I'm just as much fun as you are.
Really? Are you willing to draw a mustache on your finger
as a conversational icebreaker?
Okay, fine, what do you suggest?
We just had a lovely meal,
the band... is on fire...
and you're sitting next to a beautiful woman
wearing whorish makeup.
Why don't we head out on the dance floor
and see if I can sweat through these dress shields.
Once again, I-I'm really not much of a dancer.
("The Chicken Dance" playing)
No. I need to brush my teeth, but your mother's
没有 我要刷牙 但你妈妈
been in the bathroom for, like, an hour. Oh.
Yeah, she sometimes has problems doing her business. Hang on.
嗯 她有时候那方面的确有点困难 等下
Tonight's not your night!
You don't know that! I just sat down!
Come on, take a break!
Bernadette needs to brush her teeth!
She can come in and brush her teeth!
I'm not embarrassed!
No, it's not. I'm not going in there.
Oh, come on, honey.
She's just sitting in there reading a magazine.
You can't see anything.
I go in all the time.
Ha! The eagle has landed!
And we have splashdown.
Wait here, I'm gonna go light a candle.
And then we make passionate love.
There we go, last floor.
I just can't figure out what happened.
I put my left leg in, I took my left leg out,
I put my left leg in, and something just snapped.
The hokey pokey is a young man's game.
I did have a great time.
Thank you for reminding me
it's okay to have fun once in a while.
And also for breaking the head off the ice swan
so I could hold it against my pulled groin.
I excel at spatial reasoning,
and I had a hunch that the graceful slope of its neck
would cradle your genitals nicely.
Well, okay. Again, thank you.
And again, you're welcome.
Want to come in, have a cup of tea?
No, thanks. I'm gonna head home.
不用了 谢谢 我该回家了
'Kay. Well, good night.
Ames, hi. How was the wedding?
小米 嗨 婚礼怎样
Great. Until I accidentally made Leonard fall in love with me.
Come in, let's talk.
Do you want a glass of wine?
Wine is one of the reasons I'm in this fix.
That and this dang pelvis.
Okay, I'm sorry, what exactly happened?
好吧 抱歉 到底怎么回事
he was lonely and vulnerable from missing his girlfriend,
while I was charming, supportive
and, let's face it, in this dress,
还有 面对现实吧 穿着这身裙子
the perfect combination of Madonna and whore.
Oh, God, did he make a move on you?
No, but it's only a matter of time.
How could I have not seen this coming?
Now I'm gonna have to break the little sad sack's heart.
Yeah, I'm sure he'll be okay.
Oh, Penny, much as I would treasure knowing that
the two of us had been defiled by the same man,
Leonard just doesn't get my motor running.
So, um, what are you gonna do?
Do you want me to talk to Leonard, let him down easy?
No. I'll let him have tonight.
Then in the morning,
I'll send him an e-mail letting him know
this body is never gonna be his wonderland.
I mean, frankly, you've got a better shot than he does.
I bought an N-gauge locomotive.
Half the size of H-O.
Look, it fits in my mouth.
Sounds like you had a great night.
- How was yours? - Not bad.
I had a lot more fun with Amy than I thought I would.
What exactly do you mean by that?
Well, it turns out she really knows
how to help a guy loosen up and have a good time.
Although, truth be told, my groin's a little worse for wear.
Why did you do that?
To send a message: she is not for you.
Good morning, handsome.
Yes, it is, and you're so pretty in the morning.
没错 是你 你早上真漂亮
Your mom and I made you breakfast.
So you guys are getting along?
We're very different people, Howard,
so communication's a little tricky.
Does he like the pancakes?!
He didn't try them yet!
Is there any butter?
It's butter-flavored syrup.
So, what's the word?!
It's butter-flavored syrup!
I just told him that!
I don't need any butter.
If you want butter, I'll get you butter.
Well, I guess I'll cut these by myself.