And reverse the spin on the antiproton...
然后让反质子的自旋反向
Multiplied by a matrix of (-i,0)...
乘以矩阵(-i,0)
And there we have it.
有成果了
Conclusive proof that I am absolutely worthless after 9 o'clock.
证明我九点过后就是一条废柴的证据
All right, all right.
好了 好了
I see what's going on.
我看穿了你们的诡计
A little pre-Halloween hijinkery.
万圣节前的装神弄鬼罢了
a rattling of chains,
铁链的响声
The trifecta of haunted house cliche.
老套的鬼屋三元素
Instead of "eek," I say, "yawn."
普通人尖叫 哥只想睡觉
Oh, the walls are dripping blood,
滴血之墙
which looks nothing like a phenolphthalein indicator
看上去假得就像把碳酸钠溶液
exposed to a sodium carbonate solution.
滴进了酚酞里一样
"See you in hell Sheldon."
"我们地狱里见谢尔顿"
The most frightening thing about that is the missing comma.
这话最恐怖的地方 是你忘了加逗号了
Skeleton with phosphorous on a zip line.
缆绳上挂着个含磷的骨架
Come on out, merry pranksters.
现身吧 快活的恶作剧者们[也是乐队名]
You should've seen your face.
你真该看看你刚才的表情
Yes, there's nothing quite like the slightly widened eyes
有什么呀 不过就是稍稍受到惊吓
of mildly startled.
然后瞳孔小小地放大了一点
Come on, admit it.
你就承认吧 谢尔顿
We got you, Sheldon.
我们吓着你了
Please, fright depends on an element of surprise.
拜托 惊吓惊吓 有惊才有吓
because I am much smarter than you,
在能未卜先知的我面前
and able to anticipate your actions,
你们两个臭皮匠的烂招 只是笑话
it is highly unlikely that you two rubes
想吓到我诸葛亮
could ever surprise me.
门都没有
He's probably right.
他说的对吧
We can't beat him. He's just too smart.
我们吓不倒他 他太聪明了
Who had money on "faints"?
谁刚才赌他会晕倒来着
I had "pee his pants."
我赌的是尿裤子
Looks like everyone's a winner.
看来我们都赌中了
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Oh. Watch out, Sheldon.
当心了 谢尔顿
This little boy Casper is a g-g-g-ghost!
这个《鬼马小精灵》可是个鬼-鬼-鬼-鬼啊
Not as droll as a grown man
那也可笑不过一个成年人
passed out in a puddle of his own urine.
晕倒在自己的一滩尿上
That was pretty droll.
的确太可笑了
With a hint of ammonia.
笑声中还带着一丝氨气的芬芳
Yes, enjoy your japes, gentlemen.
接着沾沾自喜着吓人的胜果吧 先生们
You think you've poked fun at a milquetoast academic.
觉得自己吓倒了一名胆小的大学学者
Well, you've forgotten one thing:
可你们忘了一件事
I am also a son of the Lone Star state.
我可是孤星州[德州别称]之子
I'm Texas through and through.
我可是彻头彻尾的德州人
And we know how to settle scores down there.
我们可会修理人了
If you doubt me, ask Mexico.
不信就去问 常被我们修理的墨西哥人
Hot girl, nine o'clock.
辣妹出没 九点钟方向
Don't everybody look at once!
别同时抬头看人家
What is she doing in a comic book store?
她来漫画书店做什么
I don't know, she might be lost.
我不清楚 估计是迷路了
Doesn't matter. Watch and learn.
无所谓了 都学着点儿
... it-it-it...
呃...呃...呃
Are you getting this Next Men?
你要买这期《Next Men》吗
Uh, yeah. It's issue number 21.
是的 这是第二十一期的那本
First appearance of Hellboy.
地狱男爵第一次登场的那期
I know. I've been looking for it for years.
我知道 我找了它很多年
- Sorry. - Hey, if I pretended to hit on you,
-抱歉了 -要是我假装来泡你
could I distract you enough to sneak it away?
我的美貌够不够让你分心 好让我把书偷走
Yes, but you'd be using your superpowers for evil.
够的 但滥用超能美貌做坏事是不对的
Damn, I'm forbidden by my Kryptonian father to do so.
该死 我在氪星的老爸禁止我用能力使坏
You're very cute, Leonard.
你真可爱 莱纳德
You know, go ahead and take it.
这书你拿去吧
No, no. No, no, I-I did evil.
不 不行 这样我就做坏事了
Would you be open to a trade?
你接受以物易物吗
Yeah, yeah, sure, I guess.
可以 没问题
This is my number.
这是我的电话号码
Sorry, palm's a little sweaty.
抱歉 手掌有点出汗
What's that word?
那是个什么词儿呀
- Alice. - Oh, right, your name.
-爱丽丝 -对哦 你的名字
That makes more sense than "Penis".
刚看成"爱鸡鸡"还纳闷呢
Did we just see you pick up a girl in a comic book store?
我们亲眼目睹到你在漫画店成功把到妹吗
'Cause if you did, you get your picture up there
如果是真的 我要把你的肖像
on the Wall of Heroes.
挂在英雄榜上
No, I don't think I picked her up.
没有吧 应该没有把到她
Besides, I have a girlfriend.
更何况我还有家室呢
Doesn't matter. This is the closest anyone's ever come.
无所谓 你算是最成功的一个了
You're going on the wall, my friend.
你入榜了 伙计
Be sure to check the mail.
一定要开信箱
How many times are you gonna tell me?
你还要提醒我几次呀
- What's with you? - Nothing.
-你没事吧 -没事
It's not suspicious that I'm fixating.
我锲而不舍有什么奇怪的
It's consistent with my personality.
我个性向来坚持不懈
More Halloween candy?
又买万圣节糖果了啊
Didn't you just buy a bunch of it yesterday?
你昨天不是刚买了一堆吗
Oh. Yeah. That's gone.
那堆啊 吃完了
It's a rough month when Halloween and PMS
万圣节和大姨妈一起来
hit at the same time.
我是屋漏偏逢连夜雨呀
Leonard doesn't have time to chat,
莱纳德没时间聊天
he has to get the mail.
他要去开信箱
Will you relax? I'll get it in a minute.
你就不能消停会吗 我马上就开
- How was work? - Open the mail!
-你工作怎么样了 -快开信箱
A couple of circulars, nothing important.
几份广告而已 没什么重要的东西
- What's with him? - Hang on.
-他怎么了 -等着瞧
You might be from Texas, but I'm from New Jersey.
你是德州人又怎样 哥还是新泽西人呢
Jim Lee drew this of me two years ago at Comic Con.
两年前的动漫展上吉姆·李帮我画的
What are you wearing?
你穿的是什么呀
Well, you know, it's Comic Con.
动漫展嘛 你懂的
I'm Lion-O from ThunderCats.
我是《霹雳猫》里的狮猫
Wow, you must have gotten so laid.
哇 肯定有不少女生对你"投怀送抱"吧
No. But Jessica Alba did rub my furry belly.
没有 但洁西卡·阿尔芭有揉我毛毛的肚子
Want to see a comic I draw?
要看看我画的漫画吗
You're kidding. You have your own book?
开玩笑吧 你自己有画漫画啊
Yeah. It's kinda based on my life.
是的 灵感是来自我的生活
Oh, look. That's you having sex with a guy
看啊 你和一个上身打扮成
in the top half of a Chewbacca costume.
楚巴卡模样的人在嘿咻
You'd think, but no.
你以为是 不过非也
You're very talented. This is really good.
你真有才 画得真好
So, can I trade you my comic for the Hellboy?
我能用我的漫画换你的《地狱男爵》吗
You can have my car.
换我车子都行
Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear...
妈啊 妈啊 妈啊
Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
救命啊 救命啊 救命啊
Purell, Purell, Purell, Purell.
洗手液 洗手液 洗手液 洗手液
Good morning, Sheldon.
早上好 谢尔顿
Isn't that just always the way?
每次都这样
You go to staple something, and you're out of staples.
要用订书机 才发现没钉书针了
Gosh, I wish I'd known that earlier today
老天 要是我早些在史泰博的时候
when I was at Staples.
知道就好了
You ever think of paper clips right there?
那里有回形针啊
No, no, I need something more permanent to join these papers.
不 我需要能把纸钉牢的东西
Say, don't you keep staples in your top desk drawer?
你不是把订书钉放在第一格抽屉的吗
I don't know. Maybe.
不知道 也许吧
Be a lamb and check.
行行好 看一下嘛
Who do we have here?
是哪个小可爱躲在这呀
It's a snake. A terrifying snake.
是条蛇 一条吓人的蛇
Oh, did some bad man put us in a drawer?
是不是哪个坏蛋把你丢到抽屉里啦
Stop talking like that.
别装可爱说话了
You've been rendered speechless by fear.
你应该被吓得说不出话来才对
Let's go to the biology lab
咱们去生物实验室
and find you some nice yummy mice.
给你搞点美味的小白鼠来吃吧
I tried to scare an Indian with a snake.
我居然想用蛇来吓唬印度佬
Come on, Cooper. You're better than this.
加油啊 库珀 你就这么点能耐吗
Hey, you got a minute?
你现在有空吗
Yeah, sure, come on in.
当然 进来吧
Want some mac and cheese?
来点芝士通心粉吗
No. Lactose. Gas.
不了 有乳糖 吃了会放屁
- Glass of wine? - No. Sulfites. Migraines.
-酒呢 -不了 有亚硝酸盐 喝了会头痛
Okay, well, I'd offer you Halloween candy,
好吧 我本来想给你吃万圣节糖果
Okay, we used to go out, right?
好吧 我们以前不是约过会吗
Oh, my God, that's where I know you from.
老天 总算想起来你是谁了
I'm dealing with a situation
我碰到了点难题
and it's kind of about my love life,
是跟感情有关的
so I know that might be weird for us to talk about,
我知道咱俩谈这个 可能有点尴尬
but in this area, as you know,
但在这方面 你也知道
all my other friends are just so stupid.
我其他的朋友实在是 蠢得可以
All right, what's going on?
好吧 怎么回事
So, you're okay talking about this?
这么不介意我跟你谈吗
- Yes. - You're sure it's not weird.
-当然 -你不会觉得尴尬吧
You know what, if you ever want to talk to me
好吧 如果有天你想和我谈
about a problem in your life with a guy,
你跟男人的感情问题
then I would be fine with that.
我也愿意听
Okay, good, because there's this one guy I used to date
那好 现在就有个我以前好过的小子
who's about to be force-fed wine and cheese
他要是再这样拐弯抹角
if he doesn't get to the point.
我就要灌他吃红酒和芝士
Is it cheating if a guy has a girlfriend...
这样算不算偷腥 如果一个男的有女朋友
I'm sorry, go ahead.
对不起 你说
I met this girl, and she's great.
我新认识一个女孩子 她人很好
we have a lot in common.
跟我有很多共同话题
Did you guys do it?
那你们搞了吗
No. We just made out a little.
没有 只是亲热了一下下
Oh, look at you, you bad boy.
哎呦 瞧你个小坏蛋
Did you tell her about Priya?
你跟她提过普丽娅吗
Well, I was gonna, but there were too many tongues in my mouth.
我也想提 可她的舌头在我嘴里呢
I-I'm not one of those guys who sneaks around
我不是那种四处偷腥
and sleeps with more than one woman.
拈花惹草的男人
The problem is, I want to be one of those guys.
可问题是 我想成为那种男人
So sleep with the new girl and lie to Priya.
那就瞒着普丽娅 把那女的睡了
Oh, that's not who I am.
我不是那种人
All right, then break it off with the new girl.
那好 那就跟那女的一刀两断
Now, let's not do anything rash.
也别草率行事
If you like this girl so much,
既然你这么喜欢这个女孩子
why don't you just end things with Priya?
那干嘛不跟普利娅分手
Priya and I are in love.
普丽娅和我深爱对方
I think we could get married someday.
我们以后说不定会结婚呢
Leonard, you're looking for a way to sleep with both women
莱纳德 你是想找个两全其美的办法
and have everybody be happy about it.
好让你左拥右抱
Now we're getting somewhere.
终于说到点上了
What does your gut tell you?
你的第一直觉是什么
"Go ask Penny; she'll know what to do."
"去问佩妮 她知道该怎么做"
I've realized that you scaring me was all in jest.
我知道你们吓我是闹着玩的
Allow me to say, job well done.
请容许我说 吓得很成功
What are you doing?
你在干嘛呢
Science. You wouldn't understand.
搞科研呢 你不会懂的
Hey, well, see you. I'm going out.
那好 再见 我出门了
I thought you were leaving the apartment.
我以为你是要出门呢
Yeah, me, too. I can't make up my mind.
我也以为 可我下不了决心
Are you concerned because the world is filled
你是不是担心外面的世界
with big dogs and bullies?
充满着疯狗和坏蛋
No. I'm having a moral crisis.
不是 我正面临道德上的难题
Well, if it's of any help,
如果需要帮忙的话
I've read all the great moral philosophers,
我读过各种伦理学家的著作
including Dr. Seuss.
包括苏斯博士的书哦
Oh, what the hell.
死马当活马医吧
I'm supposed to go see that girl
我本来要去见
from the comic book store, Alice,
在漫画书店认识的那个女孩子 爱丽丝
but I don't know if I should,
可我不知道该不该去
because I'm going out with Priya,
因为我现在跟普利娅在一起
but she's in India.
可她人又远在印度
All right. So the topic at hand is sexual fidelity.
好吧 这么说现在的主题是性忠贞
Probably won't be relying on Seuss here.
苏斯博士在这方面估计靠不住
Although One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish
不过《一条鱼 两条鱼 红色的鱼 蓝色的鱼》
might be surprisingly applicable.
倒可能惊人的适用
they say at the end of your life,
别人都说 人到了暮年
you regret the stuff you didn't do
比起自己做过的事
more than the stuff that you did,
会更后悔没有做过一些事
and I'm pretty sure Alice is the stuff I want to do.
而我非常确定我很想跟爱丽丝"做"
You know, the German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche,
德国哲学家弗里德里希·尼采
believed that morality is just a fiction
相信道德只是低等人群体
used by the herd of inferior human beings
用来阻碍少数高等人的
to hold back the few superior men.
虚构事物
That actually does help.
死马还真给医活了
It's worth noting that he died of syphilis.
值得一提的是 他后来死于梅毒
- Screw it, I'm going. - On your way home,
-管他呢 我去也 -你回家的路上
- will you pick up some orange juice? - Do you mind?
-能不能买点橙汁回来 -拜托
I'm questioning a lot of things in my life right now.
我正在质疑我人生中很多的人事物呢
Is one of those things your fondness for orange juice?
你喜欢橙汁也需要质疑吗
- No. - Great. Tropicana, no pulp.
-不用 -那就对了 纯果乐 要没果肉的
It's me, Sheldon, Mrs. Wolowitz.
沃罗威茨太太 是我 谢尔顿
That's not my mom, it's Bernadette.
那不是我妈 是伯纳黛特
Really? That's very unsettling.
真的吗 真分不出来
- Hi. - What's up?
-嗨 -有事吗
It just occurred to me that I never formally congratulated you
我刚想到 我一直都还没正式恭祝过
on your pending nuptials.
你们即将到来的婚事
the first bus and hightailed it down here to shake your hand.
一路狂奔过来跟你握手道贺
Put 'er there, you old so-and-so.
快把手伸过来 你这家伙
Well, I-I'm gonna see you at work in...12 hours
再过12小时 咱俩就一起上班了
don't you think it could have waited until then?
你怎么不等上班了再跟我握手呢
Holy smoke, why didn't I think of that?
我的老天 我怎么就没想到呢
You're a better man than I, Howard Wolowitz.
你果然比我聪明 霍华德·沃罗威茨
You put 'er there, you son of a gun!
快把手伸出来 你个小聪明
Oh, my God, Howard!
天啊 霍华德
It was a harmless Halloween prank. Look.
只是个无恶意的万圣节恶作剧而已 看
Howard has a heart condition! You know that!
霍华德有心脏病 你又不是不知道
Well, I thought he made that up.
我还以为他那是瞎编的呢
I-Isn't hypochondria
犹太人不是常有
a common idiosyncrasy of Jewish people?
疑病症的问题吗
This is adrenaline --
这是肾上腺素
we're gonna have to inject it into his heart.
我们得把这个注射到他的心脏里
- We are? - You are.
-我们得做吗 -是你做
I'm not strong enough to get it through his chest plate,
我可没那么大劲扎穿他的胸腔
and we've only got one shot.
而且机会只有一次
We're running out of time!
咱们时间不多了
- Okay. - Just do it!
-好吧 -快扎呀
Trick or treat, bubbeleh.
不给糖就捣蛋 笨蛋
No. You mean this was all a ruse?
不是吧 你们居然设局耍我
Oh, how could I be so stu...
我怎么会笨成这...
Uh, is it my tongue stud?
是因为我的舌环吗
'Cause if that freaks you out,
要是有穿舌环就会吓到你
you're in for a real surprise later on.
那待会儿你会更大吃一惊哦
I-I can't do this.
是我不能跟你这样
Believe me, I really want to.
相信我 我真的很想
- But...? - But I kind of have a girlfriend.
-但是呢 -但是我有女朋友了
You're cool with you and me just being friends, right?
你不介意咱俩只做朋友吧
I don't believe this.
我真不敢相信
Wait, I don't... Which part?
等等 我...你不相信哪部分
I thought for once I'd met a good guy,
我还以为我终于遇上了个好人呢
but you're just another jackass.
结果你也只不过又是一个混蛋而已
Oh, no, no, you have it wrong.
不 不 你误会了
No. I-I was going to be a jackass,
不 我本来是要当个混蛋
but I stopped myself.
但是我克制住了
I stayed a good guy, so...
我决定做个好人 所以
I'm gonna pass on the sex.
我还是不跟你滚床单了
But you should know, that's not a comment on your hotness
但是你要知道 这并不代表你不够辣
but on my goodness.
这只是说明我品德高尚
That's kind of my superpower.
这也算是我的超能力了吧
I'm, like, Captain Good Guy.
我就像是 好人队长
Did the right thing.
做了对的选择
Hey, sweetheart. How's it going?
亲爱的 一切都好吗
Oh, sounds serious. What's up?
好像很严重的样子啊 怎么了
Okay, uh...here it is.
好吧 事情是这样的
I met this girl and I kissed her,
我认识了一个女生 我们接吻了
and I feel terrible about it.
我觉得很内疚
But it's done, it's never gonna happen again.
但都结束了 绝无下次
And I am so, so sorry.
我真的非常非常抱歉
Yeah, these things happen.
是啊 这种事情很正常
They happen to everybody.
人之常情嘛
Oh, my God, you are amazing.
天啊 你真是太好了
I mean, I don't deserve you.
我怎么这么命好呀
Wh-what do you mean "everybody"?
等 等会 你说"人之常情"是什么意思
Leonard, I didn't know if I should tell you,
莱纳德 我不知道该不该说
but I kind of cheated on you, too.
不过我好像也背叛你了
A couple of weeks ago,
几周前
I slept with my ex-boyfriend.
我跟我前男友上床了
So, I guess we both messed up a little.
所以说 我们俩都犯了点小错误
No, no, I messed up a little. You messed up a lot.
不 我是犯了点小错 你可是犯了大错
Well, it's not a competition.
咱这又不是在比赛
Oh...yeah, it is, and you won.
就是比赛 而且你赢了
I-I-I'm sorry, I have to go.
对 对不起 我要下线了
I don't believe this.
老天爷你玩我啊
Bazinga, punk. Now we're even.
吓到了吧 小混蛋 现在我们扯平了