So, Bernadette, how goes the hunt for bridesmaid dresses?
Well, if you don't mind looking like
an orange traffic cone, great.
Girlfriends, I have the answer to our dress problems.
12 years ago, my cousin Irene and her entire family
died in a horrific carbon monoxide accident
the night before her wedding.
All those bridesmaids dresses remain unused
and available to us for free.
So it seems that cloud of odorless deadly gas
had a silver lining after all.
still in the bags.
The gowns, not the bridesmaids.
Dead people's dresses?
Yeah, and cap sleeve...
Oh, I was hoping you wouldn't notice.
Irene was always a slave to a good bargain when it came to clothes,
and sadly as it turned out, space heaters.
These four walls once housed an intellectual salon
where the mind received nourishment as well as the stomach.
But through no one's fault,
the quality of dinner conversation in this apartment has declined.
And again, I'm looking at no one in particular,
What would you like to talk about, Sheldon?
What would you like to talk about, Sheldon?
Why do you hate us?
I've prepared a number of topics that should appeal to
both the advanced and novice conversationalists.
Okay, that time you looked at me.
Your skin is like alabaster.
Do you even have pores?
"Faster-than-light particles at CERN--
or another Swiss export as full of holes as their cheese?"
All right, who wants to go
to my apartment and look at bridal magazines?
Through no one's fault, Sheldon, we're leaving.
完全不怪任何人 谢尔顿 我们闪人了
Sheldon, sometimes you forget, I'm a lady.
and with that, comes with an oestrogen fuel need to page through
thick glossy magazines that make me hate my body.
New topice: women.
Delightfully mysterious or bat-crap crazy?
What's wrong with cap sleeves?
If you have the right figure for it, they're adorable.
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校对：Joanna 海因里希 时间轴：叶煦 后期：鱼骨头
Hey, Amy, what brings you to our neck of the woods?
哟 艾米 什么风把你吹来这了
Your neurology department loaned me a culture of prions
for my research on bovine spongiform encephalopathy.
She popped by to borrow a cup of mad cow disease.
It's hard to make degenerative brain maladies hilarious,
and yet somehow you do it.
That's fun to have in a lunchroom.
The real fun starts when you get to pick the rat
you're going to feed it to, and maybe you choose
the beady-eyed little mother who's been biting you all week.
Please, we're eating.
Can we get that off the table
and change the subject?
while I turn this conversation into a "Conver-sensation."
This time, it's your fault.
I have 100 alphabetized topics from
"Artichoke-- come on, people, it's just a giant thistle,"
to "Zzz-- the onamona-poetry of sleep."
Amy, how long would it take for that mad cow disease to kill me?
I don't know, four or five years.
No, it's not gonna do it.
Oy. Bernadette keeps texting me pictures
of Penny in bridesmaid dresses.
They're out shopping right now?
Just the two of them?
That's cool, that's cool.
Why are they asking me about this stuff?
What guy knows what a sweetheart neckline is?
Leonard's coming down the home stretch!
Come on, horsey, you can do this!
加油啊 马儿 你能行的
Damn. Come on, thigh muscles, you can do this!
该死 拜托 大腿肌肉 你也能行
I would have been a great jockey if I weren't too tall.
and scared of horses.
Sheldon, you're up.
Come on, it's your turn.
We said we'd get more fresh air.
Sorry. I'm a little distracted.
I can't seem to get in touch with Amy.
I tried e-mail, video chat,
tweeting her, posting on her Facebook wall,
texting her, nothing.
Did you try calling her on the telephone?
You know, Leonard, in your own simple way,
you may be the wisest of us all.
Curiouser and curiouser.
If you're worried, we can go over there
and see if she's all right.
You know, I heard in the news
a bobcat has been spotted in her neighborhood.
I don't think Amy was eaten by a bobcat.
Who thinks Amy was eaten by a bobcat?
Leonard, I was just mentioning an interesting local news item.
Now, thanks to you, I'm worried Amy's been eaten by a bobcat.
Forget about the bobcat.
How can I? You won't stop talking about it!
I don't like weepy. Let's go.
She's your friend.
Where are you going?
I'm single, I don't need this crap.
Sheldon, what are you doing here?
You didn't respond to
any of my electronic communications.
I wanted to be alone.
Would you like to talk about it?
And keep in mind that "No" is a perfectly viable answer.
Sheldon, my world is crumbling around me.
As you're in distress, it would be customary
for me to offer you a hot beverage.
But I'm a guest in your home,
so it would be customary for you to offer me a beverage.
How do you want to proceed vis-à-vis beverages?
If you'd like to take your mind off what's troubling you,
uh, word on the street is a bobcat has been spotted.
Penny and Bernadette went shopping
for bridesmaids dresses without me.
And that made you feel...
I guess I'm good at this.
It's just, I thought they liked hanging out with me,
but I guess I was fooling myself.
When they were over here,
did you fail to offer them a beverage?
'Cause I can see how that could stick in someone's craw.
Sheldon, I'm going to ask you something,
and I'd like you to keep an open mind.
At this moment, I find myself
craving human intimacy and physical contact.
You know ours is a relationship of the mind.
One wild night of torrid lovemaking
that soothes my soul and inflames my loins.
I will gently stroke your head
and repeat, "aw, who's a good Amy""
French kissing-- seven minutes in heaven
culminating in second base.
...then you get me that beverage.
We cuddle. Final offer.
I'm just saying, second base is right there.
Mm, I'm thinking about adopting some quirky affectation,
like a pipe or a monocle
or a handlebar mustache.
For all those girls out there
looking for the Indian Monopoly man?
This is not a safe place.
You can't share anything here.
The two of you need to get your women in line!
Last night I was strong-armed
into an evening of harp music
and spooning with an emotional Amy Farrah Fowler.
that I had originally designated for solving
the space-time geometry in higher-spin gravity
and building my Lego Death Star.
And why? Your gal pals, Penny and Bernadette,
went out shopping for some wedding nonsense without Amy,
an action they took with no thought or regard
as to how it would affect me, the future of string theory
or my Lego fun time!
What do you want us to do about it?
You clearly weren't listening to my topic sentence:
Get your women in line!
You make them apologize to Amy and set things right.
I am a man of science, not someone's snuggle bunny!
Why do I have to talk to Penny?
She's not my girlfriend.
You invited her to lunch four years ago.
Everything about her is on you; you make it so!
- Moo-shu is Penny. - Thank you.
He was up late last night,
so I gave him an early dinner and put him to bed.
Yeah, but now he's gonna be up at dawn and want to play.
the reason he was up late is because he was
taking care of Amy.
She's kind of upset.
Her feelings got hurt because you guys
went dress shopping without her.
I told you that would happen.
Okay, look, this is her first time being a bridesmaid
and she's just getting a little crazy with it.
She keeps on telling us stories about bridesmaid traditions
in other cultures, and they're all about
getting naked and washing each other.
Yeah, and she keeps trying
to figure out if our cycles have synced up
so we can call ourselves "The three menstra-teers"
We thought it would be easier
to look at dresses one time without her.
I know. Me, too. We'll talk to her.
how did she find out?
And he says he would do it again.
You sent me the picture; I wasn't thinking.
- Oh, Howie. - Well, hey, I'm usually
-华仔 -别这样 平时
pretty good at not blabbing.
You tell me tons of stuff about these guys,
and I never repeat it.
- What do you tell him? - Oh,
you know, just pillow talk.
You guys have nothing to worry about.
Hold on, did you talk about us when we were dating?
No. All your little secrets are fine.
Yes, absolutely fine.
I'll tell you later.
Come on, tumor, Mama needs an aggressive little glioblastoma.
来吧 肿瘤 老娘要的就是扩散的小恶性胶质瘤
Probably not the same reaction you had when you got the news.
What are you doing here?
Well, look, we just wanted to apologize
for not bringing you with us the other day.
That's not necessary-- it's like Sesame Street says:
"One of these things is not like the other,
one of these things should die alone."
Come on, Amy, let us make it up to you.
别这样嘛 艾米 让我们补偿你
We'll have a girl's night;
we'll do whatever you want.
We can go down to the Korean baths
and do that thing you were talking about
where we wash each other.
With-with loofah mitts, no hands.
It's okay. I'm glad this happened.
I can stop pretending that some beautiful girl
and her cute-in-the-right-light friend
want to hang out with me.
Amy, we're really sorry.
Yeah, we feel awful.
Don't. I'll be okay. You're not the first girls
别 我会没事的 你们也不是第一个
I thought were friends with me who ended up shunning me.
It's like elementary school, junior high,
high school, undergrad, grad school,
高中 大学 研究院
and that semester abroad in Norway all over again.
Oh, come on, Amy.
Look at this brain.
I don't really want to.
Bernadette, you are the analytical,
scientific left hemisphere.
Penny, you're the creative, spontaneous right hemisphere.
She's right here-- the sad little tumor
no one wants to go dress shopping with.
Amy, you're not a tumor.
Penny, tell her she's not a tumor.
Did you know that when Alexander Graham Bell
invented the telephone,
he proposed answering it with "Ahoy"?
Have you been drinking?
I'm sorry, I bet my sweet what?
Well, all right. We're on our way.
It would seem Amy is drunk in a liquor store parking lot.
Leonard, be glad you can't keep a woman.
They are a handful.
It's Sheldon and little Leonard.
Yes, Cuddles. We cuddled.
对 小"抱"贝 我们抱过了
Grow up, Leonard.
Amy, what are you doing here?
I came here to get a bottle of wine
like Penny taught me to do when you're sad.
Yeah, but why didn't you go back to your apartment?
Didn't you go to high school, Leonard?
Parking lots are where all the cool kids hang out.
Not that the rat bastards ever invited me.
Maybe we should get you home.
Oh, hang on, hang on, hang on. Sheldon,
等等 等等 谢尔顿
what would it take for you to go into that liquor store,
buy a bottle of hooch,
take me across the street to that motel,
and have your way with me?
Yeah, Sheldon, what would it take?
是啊 谢尔顿 你要怎样才肯
I'm begging both of you, please, let's go.
Ooh, finally someone found second base.
I know how you feel.
I got a knife slicing through my frontal lobe, too.
Do you want me to give the friendship bracelet back?
I never gave you a friendship bracelet.
When we first met, I made one and pretended you gave it to me.
You can have it back if you want.
No, you made that for you; I want you to have it.
不 你给自己做的 我想你好好留着
We know you're upset, and you have every right to be,
but if it's okay with you, we'd like a second chance
to make things right.
We are really sorry,
and we were trying to think of some way to show you
how much we care about you.
it would mean so much if you would agree
to be the maid of honor at my wedding.
What? Wait, is this some kind of practical joke?
什么 等等 这是什么恶作剧吗
Like in Norway, when my "Friends"
trapped me in a sauna with a horny otter?
No. I-I want you to be the maid of honor.
No one's every asked me to be the maid of honor before.
Well, that's not true.
Once, but then they all died.
So is that a yes?
I-I have so much to do.
There's the bridal shower and the bachelorette party.
What should we do for the bachelorette party?
Oh, I know-- we'll go to a Native American sweat lodge,
we'll take peyote, roll around in the mud,
and paint fertility symbols on Bernadette's naked body.
So that's happening.
Yeah, sure, sure.
是啊 当然 真好
Vegas is fun, too.
I feel like crying.
Of course, I could just be hormonal.
Oh, wait. Maybe our menses are finally syncing up.
- Sorry. - Really?
Maid of honor Amy Farrah Fowler's
amazing behind-the-scenes wedding video,
We're just trying on dresses--
do we really need to record this?
I'm sorry, are you the maid of honor?
So no. And action.
What are you, a nun?
Come on, bestie, let's see some skin.
拜托 闺蜜 露点肉肉嘛
Amy! Looking sexy!
You think they don't have mirrors in there?
I know how I look.
Bernadette, you look beautiful!
- You do. - Thank you.
Not Penny beautiful, but beautiful.
Come on, bestie, you're up.
快点 闺蜜 到你了
What is taking you so long?
Oh, Amy! Get the hell out of here!
- Sorry, sorry. - Oh, God.
-抱歉 抱歉 -天哪