生活大爆炸 第九季 The Big Bang Theory Season 9 第11集: 首映礼の激动 The Opening Night Excitation

上映日期: 2,015

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧

导演: 马克·森卓斯基

演员: 约翰尼·盖尔克奇 / 吉姆·帕森斯 / 凯莉·库柯 / 西蒙·赫尔伯格 / 昆瑙·内亚 / 梅丽莎·劳奇 / 马伊姆·拜力克 / 凯文·苏斯曼 / 劳拉·斯宾塞


台词
不久前在帕萨迪纳市的一间公寓里...
生活大爆炸
第194集刺激"上"映夜在这紧张的一夜我们的英雄莱纳德 谢尔顿沃罗威茨与库萨帕里知道最新的《星球大战》电影票即将要展开预售如果他们买不到票导致没有在首映夜看到电影谢尔顿发下重誓他们的余生耳根就别想清净了...他们相信他说到做到
- Guys, tickets already went on sale! - What?!
-大伙们 票已经开卖啦 -什么
They're not supposed to be available yet.
不应该现在就开卖啊
I don't know what to tell you, but they're on sale!
我也不知道原因 但就是开卖了
What? Wait. You're sure they're Star Wars tickets?
等等 你确定是新的《星球大战》电影票吗
《钢木兰》是1989年的女性友情电影
No, it's Steel Magnolias 2: Even Steelier.
不 是《钢木兰2: 钢上加钢》的票
The Web site's frozen. I can't get in!
网页卡住了 我上不了
Same here!
我也是
- Guys, they're gonna sell out! - What are we gonna do?!
-这样下去票会卖光的 -我们该怎么办
All right, this goes against everything I stand for,
好吧 虽然这违背我一直以来的信仰
but desperate times call for desperate measures.
但走投无路 也只能出此下策
Lord...
主啊
This is Sheldon Cooper.
我是谢尔顿·库珀
You're good friends with my mom.
您跟我母亲是好朋友
I know I've spent my life denying that you exist.
我知道我这辈子一直在否认您的存在
- Got 'em! - And I will continue to do so!
-买到了 -我还会继续否认下去
翻译:最重要的大雕赛 最重要的小萌猫丁小七 猫中之王
校对:微博@赛太公 YY猫微博@林志玲 总监 你高兴就好
后期:灰灰是菇凉 时间轴:风吹来的那片云
本蓝光版外挂字幕由 风吹来的那片云 用WEB版调轴
第九季 第十一集
今时今日
I'm really happy you and Amy are back together.
你跟艾米和好如初我好高兴
Oh, thank you.
谢谢
I'm also really happy, but I can't pretend it's for you.
我也很高兴 但我假装不了是为你高兴
New Star Wars in three days!
新星战电影三天后要上啦
Hey, Thursday can't get here soon enough.
鉴于周四还不能马上到来
I'm taking off work to watch the original trilogy
我要请假不上班 在家看原作三部曲
while I eat enough Star Wars cereal to choke a Wookiee.
还要一边吃[掐死]伍基人星战谷麦片
Uh, sweetie, you do realize Thursday is Amy's birthday.
亲爱的 你知道周四是艾米的生日吧
And you do realize I bought my ticket
那你也知道我买票的时候
when Amy and I were broken up?
我跟艾米还没有复合呢
I hope you didn't need anything in that case,
希望板子上没有你需要的东西了
'cause it's closed.
因为已经拍板定案了
You guys just got back together.
你们才刚刚复合
You might not want to ditch her on her birthday.
她生日那天抛下她不太妙吧
I think Penny has a point. You can see it another day.
我觉得佩妮说得有道理 你可以改天看嘛
But someone might spoil the movie.
但别人可能会剧透啊
No one can spoil Amy's birthday for me.
但艾米的生日别人就没办法剧透
Surprise! She's even older.
"惊喜 她又老一岁了"
Who saw that coming?
真是"万万没想到"啊
Oh, that's nice.
这话真"甜蜜"
Put that on her cake.
写到她蛋糕上去吧
Oh, great. This again.
这下好 又来了
Arthur, what brings you back?
亚瑟 什么风把你给吹来了
Uh, beats me. I-I just...
你把我问倒了 我...
hope this isn't a-a sex dream.
只希望入的不是春梦
In the past, you've come to me
过去你曾在我
when I'm struggling with a dilemma.
碰到困境的时候来指点迷津
And-and the one time where... where you were afraid,
还有一次是在你晚上害怕
and you needed me for... for a night light.
需要我来... 当夜灯
What's-what's troubling you?
什么事困扰到你了
My friends are telling me
我的小伙伴们跟我说
I shouldn't abandon my girlfriend on her birthday
我不应该在女朋友生日时抛下她
to see the new Star Wars movie.
跑去看新的《星球大战》
Well, sounds right.
感觉说得没错啊
Can... can I get out of this...
我能脱下这身...
muumuu now?
夏威夷妇女穆穆袍了吗
Those are the robes of the Jedi,
这是绝地武士的袍子
the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy.
是银河系和平与正义的守护者呢
And they... they-they don't wear underwear.
他们... 他们都不穿小内内
So, you agree with my friends
所以你也同意他们的话
that I should skip the premiere?
我不应该去看首映吗
Uh, do... do you love this girl?
你爱那个女孩吗
Yes.
But she knows how important Star Wars is to me.
但她知道《星球大战》对我有多重要
Well, maybe you should show her how...
或许你应该证明给她看看
how important she is to you.
她在你心中到底多重要
By seeing the movie she'd want me to see?
其方式是看她希望我看的电影吗
Sheldon, you-you can see this movie whenever you want.
谢尔顿 你有数不清的时间能看这电影
But you only have a limited number of days
但你能跟这女孩在一起的时间
that you-you can be with this woman.
却是有限的
Be with her.
陪她吧
You're right.
你说得对
Great.
太好了
Where are you going?
你要上哪去
I don't know,
我不知道
but hopefully, somewhere I can wear pants.
但希望是一个我能穿裤子的地方
Sheldon, what's wrong?
谢尔顿 怎么了
I wanted to let you know I'll be spending your birthday with you.
我想让你知道我会陪你过生日
Okay.
好的
See, I-I had tickets to the Star Wars premiere that night,
本来那晚我有《星球大战》首映会的票
but Professor Proton came to me in a dream dressed as
可质子教授入我的梦 身上还穿着
Obi-Wan Kenobi and convinced me I should be with you.
绝地武士欧比旺·肯诺比的衣服来劝我陪你
Obi-what?
欧比啥
I'll-I'll let you get back to sleep now. Good night.
不打扰你了 你先回去睡吧 晚安
Okay. Good night.
好 晚安
Wait. Um, Sheldon,
等等 谢尔顿
were you actually not gonna spend my birthday with me?
本来我生日那天你是不打算陪我的吗
It's late. Got to go. Bye.
时间晚了 要睡了 再见
Good for Sheldon deciding to stay with Amy on her birthday.
谢尔顿决定陪艾米过生日 这事得点个赞
I know.
对啊
It's still gonna be weird to see the movie without him.
去看电影时少了他还是会有点怪
Well, we could wait a couple days and see it together.
我们可以多等两天 等他一起看啊
Hello.
你们好啊
We're going to the comic book store. You want to come?
我们要去漫画书店 你要一起吗
No, I can't.
去不了
I need to make preparations for Amy's birthday.
我得为艾米的生日做准备
Which leads me to the following bit of business.
因此我要先把这件事干了
This is my ticket to Star Wars.
这是我《星球大战》的电影票
I don't have to tell you it is worth far more
不用我说你也知道这张票的价值
than its face value of $15.50.
远远超过面额上的15.5美元
I trust you'll give it to someone worthy.
我相信你会把它交给值得拥有的人
You got it.
没问题
Well, Penny might want to join us.
佩妮可能会想跟我们一起去看
This is my ticket to Star Wars.
这是我《星球大战》的电影票
Penny.
佩妮
Penny?
佩妮
Penny?
佩妮
What happens if I say, "Come in"?
如果是我回"请进"会怎么样
Well, find out.
试试看呗
Come in!
请进
Bernadette?
伯纳黛特
Bernadette? Bernadette?
伯纳黛特 伯纳黛特
Come in!
请进
Keep it up.
你俩就闹吧
I got nowhere else to be.
反正我有的是时间
Just come in.
快进来吧
For future reference, if I want to watch Mean Girls,
以后如果我想看《贱女孩》这部片
I'll stream it on Netflix.
我会直接去网上看
We're sorry. What do you need?
抱歉啦 你找我们干嘛
Well, as you know,
你们也知道
I'll be celebrating Amy's birthday with her,
我会陪艾米一起庆祝生日
and I could use your assistance
我需要你们的协助
in helping me select the perfect gift.
帮我挑出最完美的礼物
Sure.
当然可以
Well, so far, I've come up with three ideas.
目前为止我有三个想法
The first is a chance for her to play the harp
第一个是一个跟洛杉矶爱乐管弦乐团
with the L.A. Philharmonic.
演奏竖琴的机会
Wow. You can really arrange that?
哇 你真的能安排这事吗
Well, I said a chance, you know.
机会嘛 可能有也可能没有
When you tell them it's your birthday at Bennigan's,
你跟连锁餐厅说今天是自己生日
they make a fuss.
他们也会大开方便之门
I don't see why the Philharmonic would be any different.
我觉得洛杉矶爱乐管弦乐团也会这样吧
How about something a little more realistic?
不如来点实际的
Well, Amy enjoys knitting her own sweaters,
艾米喜欢自己织毛衣
so I was thinking of getting her an all-expense-paid trip
我在想自掏腰包赞助她去参加
to the Wisconsin Sheep and Wool Festival.
威斯康辛州羊及羊毛节
Sorry. I was waiting for the bazinga.
抱歉 我刚才在等你说"逗你玩"
Hold on. It could be romantic.
等等 那也可以很浪漫啊
The two of them away together,
他们俩一起远离尘嚣
keeping each other warm in snowy Wisconsin.
在白雪皑皑的威斯康辛州相互取暖
No, no, no, no. She'd be going alone.
不不不 她自己去而已
Well, if you think I'm afraid of birds,
如果你们觉得我很怕鸟
you should see me around sheep.
那真该看看我遇到羊会怎么样
Okay, well, what's the third option?
好吧 第三个选项是什么
That I have coitus with her.
我跟她交媾
What do you think about giving Sheldon's ticket to Stuart?
你们觉得把谢尔顿的票给斯尔图特怎么样
I don't know.
不知道
Have you ever seen a movie with Stuart before?
你们跟斯尔图特一起看过电影吗
It's like going with your grandpa.
感觉就像跟自己爷爷去看电影
Instead of eating popcorn,
不吃爆米花
he brings little pieces of chicken in Tupperware
他自带保鲜盒装的鸡肉片
and a thermos full of soup.
还有保温瓶盛满了热汤
He's not that bad.
他没那么糟啦
Hey, Stuart, got any plans Thursday night?
斯尔图特 你周四晚上有事吗
My, uh... my doctor's worried about my circulation,
我的医生担心我的血液循环
so I was thinking about walking around the mall.
所以我本来打算去商场走走
Why?
怎么了
Hey, you guys.
你们好啊
Oh, make sure to wear sensible shoes.
记得穿舒服点的鞋子哦
Wil, want to go to Star Wars Thursday?
威尔 周四想一起去看《星球大战》吗
Absolutely.
当然好啊
Fine, take Wil.
好啊 带威尔去吧
See if he brings you clam chowder.
看他会不会给你们带蛤蜊浓汤
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
好吧 好吧
Let's-let's... let's just recap our options.
我们...我们再过一遍所有选项
All right, we've got harp thing, sheep thing...
有竖琴演奏 绵羊织毛
Wild thang.
狂野做爱
Which do you think she'd prefer?
你们觉得她最喜欢哪一个
Because I checked the Sheep and Wool Festival Web site,
因为我查过羊及羊毛节的官网
and there's only 8,000 tickets left.
只剩8千张票了
Sheldon, being physical with Amy is a huge step for you.
谢尔顿 跟艾米发生肉体关系可是重大的一步啊
Yeah, are you ready for this?
是啊 你准备好了吗
Intimacy in any form has been challenging for me,
任何形式的亲密对我来说都是挑战
but I'd like to show her how important she is,
但我想向她证明她对我有多重要
and it feels like now might be the right time.
而我感觉现在就是最好的时机
Sheldon, that's so beautiful.
谢尔顿 这理由太美了
Then it's settled.
那就这么定了
Amy's birthday present will be my genitals.
艾米的生日礼物就是我的生殖器
Thanks for taking me out.
多谢你们带我出去
Well, you're spending your birthday with Sheldon.
既然你的生日要跟谢尔顿一起过
Why not celebrate early?
何不跟我们提前庆祝呢
So where do you want to go?
你想去哪里
I heard that new Mexican place on Green Street is good.
我听说格林路上那间新的墨西哥餐厅不错
Sure, sure.
好啊
Or we could take you to get a bikini wax.
或者我们可以带你去做比基尼蜜蜡脱毛
Why would I get a bikini wax for my birthday?
为什么我生日要做比基尼蜜蜡脱毛
Uh, I don't know. It was just a thought.
不知道 我就随口一说
I think I'll just stick to Mexican.
我觉得还是去吃墨西哥菜好了
Great. And then maybe after, we can watch a dirty movie,
很好 吃完以后我们可以去看部小黄片
and if anybody has any questions about what happened or how,
如果有人对怎么回事或怎么做有疑问
we can answer them.
我们可以负责解答
Okay, what is going on?
好吧 到底怎么回事
Oh, we just want you to be prepared
我们只是希望你对
for any surprises that might happen tomorrow.
明天可能发生的惊喜做好准备
What surprises?
什么惊喜
We don't want to spoil anything,
我们不想剧透坏了惊喜
but you should know that
但谢尔顿说
Sheldon said he's ready to be physical.
他做好跟你发生肉体关系的准备了
You shut your damn mouth!
你们少他妈逗我玩
You actually heard him say this?
你们真的听到他这么说了吗
Yes. He said he wants to do something
是的 他说了他想做点什么
to show you how much you mean to him.
来证明你对他有多重要
I-I can't believe it. I...
真不敢相信
I don't know what to say.
我不知道该说什么了
Well, we're really happy for you,
我们很为你高兴
and we know how much he cares...
我们都知道他多看重...
I do know what to say! Let's get me waxed!
我知道说什么了 快给我下体除毛
Why isn't it ever Angie Dickinson's bedroom?
为什么永远都不是安吉·迪金森的卧室
以美腿闻名的性感女星
You're back.
你回来了
It-it doesn't seem like it's up to me.
这似乎不是我能决定的
I suppose you're here because...
我猜你来是因为
I've decided to be physical with my girlfriend,
我决定跟我的女朋友发生肉体关系了
and I've never done that before.
而我以前从来没有做过
E-Excuse me for a moment.
稍等一下
Well, it was worth a shot.
至少努力过了
So, can you help me?
所以你能帮我吗
Uh, all right. Um...
好吧
once-once the man gets
当一个男人
the-the woman out of her... out of her bloomers...
把一个女人的灯笼内裤脱掉
Oh, no. Not that.
不 不是那个
I-I understand the mechanics.
我知道"做"法
Oh, good, good. 'Cause, uh,
很好 因为...
I have no idea what kids these days are...
我完全不知道现在的孩子们
calling their-their parts.
都怎么称呼他们的"部位"
I think they say "junk".
他们好像是说"大屌"[垃圾]
What is happening to this world?
这世界到底怎么了
What-what do you actually need to know?
你究竟想知道什么
This is an important night for us,
那一晚将对我俩来说都很重要
and I'm worried I might be overwhelmed
我有点担心自己会太紧张
and ruin everything.
然后搞砸了
Sheldon, if-if you're with the right person,
谢尔顿 如果对方是对的人
it-it'll be okay.
一切都会水到渠成
Thank you, Arthur.
谢谢你 亚瑟
You are the wisest of the wise.
你是世界上最有智慧的人
Well, that's-that's very nice of you to say,
很高兴你能这么说
but I think I'm just an expression of...
可我觉得我只不过是
of your unconscious mind.
你潜意识的映射
Oh, sure. Yeah.
当然了
Well, you're fun to look at.
但是看着你挺好玩的嘛
Tonight's the night!
就是今晚了
Yeah, the wait is finally over!
是啊 终于等到了
I know. Then you'll finally stop talking about it!
对啊 你们终于可以不再提这事了
- Ready to go? - Let's do this.
-准备好了吗 -来吧
Have fun, guys!
祝你们开心哦
- We will. - I can't believe Sheldon gave this up.
-我们会的 -不敢相信谢尔顿会放弃这个
I know. We're gonna have so much more fun than him.
是啊 我们肯定会玩得比他开心得多
No, they're not.
不 他们不会的
Knowing them, they will.
依他们的尿性 会的
T minus 15 minutes!
倒数15分钟
Oh, did you hear from Wil?
威尔联系你了吗
Yeah, he's on his way.
他在路上了
Time for bladder check.
膀胱检查时间
Check.
检查完毕
Check.
检查完毕
Check. Wait.
检查完毕 等等
Screw it. I'm holding it.
管他的 我决定忍着
What is everyone booing at?
大家都在嘘什么
Hey, guys. What's up?
各位 你们好吗
Um, hey, Wil. What you doin'?
威尔 你在干什么
I was on Star Trek. I'm just rooting for the home team.
我演过《星际迷航》 当然要支持自家人
Star Trek stinks!
《星际迷航》烂透了
Yeah? Live long and suck it!
是吗 生生不息 滚你妈逼
Birthday girl.
生日女孩
Birthday girl. Birthday girl.
生日女孩 生日女孩
Come in!
快进来
Hi, Sheldon.
你好 谢尔顿
Hello. Sorry I'm late.
你好 抱歉我迟到了
I also got you a balloon,
我本来还给你带了一个气球
but it floated away, and I chased it for a while.
可是它飞走了 我追了好久
That's okay. Come on in.
没关系 快进来吧
Thank you. Mm-hmm.
谢谢你
Um, I'll... I'm gonna go put these in water.
我拿个花瓶装上
Ooh, this is different, hmm?
感觉很不一样嘛
Candles and music.
蜡烛和音乐
Do you like it?
你喜欢吗
It's kind of spooky.
有点吓人
I can change it back.
我可以换回原样
No, no, no. It's your birthday.
不不 这是你的生日
As long as no one jumps out in a hockey mask, I'll be fine.
只要面具杀人魔杰森别突然跳出来就好
So...
所以...
What'd you have in mind for tonight?
你今晚想做什么
I thought I could take you out to a nice birthday dinner.
我本来想带你去吃一顿生日大餐
If we pick a place east of here, we might find the balloon.
如果选个东边的餐厅 说不定还能把气球找回来
Um, that sounds nice, but...
听起来不错 可是...
I'm not really hungry right now.
我现在不是很饿
I thought maybe...
我想咱们不如...
we could do presents first.
先"上"礼物吧
All right.
好呀
I should probably tell you something about this gift.
关于这件礼物 我有些事要先告诉你
You mean before you...
你是说在你...
give it to me?
"给我"之前吗
Yes.
是的
May I ask you a question before I...
我可以先问一个问题吗 在我...
give it to you?
"给你"之前
- Of course. - Why are we saying
-当然 -为什么我们要把
"give it to you" like that?
"给你"说得这么诡异
Sheldon,
谢尔顿
I know your present is...
我知道你的礼物...
for us to be intimate tonight.
就是今夜与我共享鱼水之欢
I see.
我明白了
Is that all right?
你愿意吗
I'm sorry, but this is a litigious society.
抱歉 如今这社会动不动就告上法庭
I'm gonna need verbal consent.
我需要你的口头同意
Yes.
求之不得
You know what, let me pull a quick contract off the Internet.
我还是上网下载一个简易合同吧
So, if you don't like Star Wars, why are you here?
如果你不喜欢《星球大战》 那你干嘛还来呢
Oh, I'm just having fun.
我只是图一乐
Everyone takes Star Wars so seriously.
每个人都对这电影这么认真看待
Like if the movie's bad, it's gonna ruin their lives.
就好像电影拍砸了 他们的人生也就毁了
Is it bad? Did you hear something?
电影拍砸了吗 你听说了什么吗
Oh, my God. It's bad. Somebody kill me.
亲娘耶 拍砸了 谁赶紧来杀了我吧
See? That's what I mean.
看到没 我就是指这种人
When you wake up in the morning, whether this is
当你明早从晨光中醒来
the greatest movie ever or a total piece of crap,
不管这电影是神作一部 还是狗屎一坨
your life isn't gonna change at all.
你的生活都不会有任何改变
He's right.
他说得对
Yeah.
没错
No matter what happens,
不管发生什么
we're coming back tomorrow to watch it again.
我们明天都会再来看一遍
Do you think Sheldon's actually gonna go through with it?
你觉得谢尔顿真的会跟艾米滚成床单吗
I don't know.
我不知道
He said he's ready.
他说他已经准备好了
Yeah, but he also swore this was the year
没错 可是他还发誓说
he'd be able to pull the guts out of a pumpkin.
今年一定有勇气把南瓜内瓤掏出来呢
Well, I'm gonna stay positive. I mean, we talked.
我对谢尔顿有信心 我们聊过了
I told him what women like, and after he stopped giggling,
我告诉他女生的喜好 他咯咯傻笑了一阵后
he seemed pretty sure of himself.
看起来相当有自信
hi.
你好
Hello.
你好
So, um...
那个...
should I get under the covers with you?
我该跟你一起钻进被子里吗
All right.
好呀
- Hello. - Hi!
-你好 -你好啊
Why are you shaking? Are you cold?
你怎么在发抖 你很冷吗
I'm just, um... really nervous.
我只是有点 太紧张
Why?
为什么
I've been waiting for this for so long,
我等待这一刻等得太久了
I've just... built it up in my head.
我...脑补过太多
I don't know what to expect.
我不知道接下来该期待什么
Neither do I.
我也不知道
But... we can find out together.
但是...我们可以一起找出答案
Okay.
好的
I'm really nervous.
我真的好紧张
I know.
我知道
We've been waiting so long for this.
我们等待这一刻等得太久了
And we've built it up in our heads so much.
我们脑补过太多
Guys, it's just a movie.
各位 这只是部电影而已
That's true.
没错
- He's right. - It is.
-他说得对 -的确
Although, we all remember Jar Jar.
不过 我们都记得扎扎
受许多影迷讨厌的星战角色
Leonard, I-I'm scared again.
莱纳德 我又开始提心吊胆了
几个小时后在不远处的一间闺房里...
Well, I enjoyed that more than I thought I would.
我比预想中更享受
Me, too.
奴家也是
I look forward to your next birthday
我很期待你下次过生日时
when we do it again.
我们再做一次
That works for me.
这样奴家也愿意
I enjoyed that more than I thought I would.
我比预想中更享受这电影呢
I don't think I can walk right now.
我爽得都走不动了
Uh, Sheldon?
谢尔顿
Sheldon.
谢尔顿
Arthur.
亚瑟
What are you doing here?
你在这里干什么
I-I don't think I need any more advice.
我不需要什么建议了
I-I was just curious.
我只是好奇嘛
How-How'd it go?
那事儿最后怎么样了
It was amazing.
非常棒
I-I saw it a few days later.
几天之后我去看了
What a movie.
电影超赞
But, uh, what-what about Amy?
那... 艾米呢
Uh, uh, she liked it fine.
她也挺喜欢的
But she doesn't have the history with the franchise I do.
不过她不像我 对这个系列作有感情
Okay.
好吧
Good... good talk.
好吧 聊得挺开心
看剧其实就像本集里电影院中 几个人说的那段一样就是图一乐无论是神作还是狗屎 你的生活都不会有任何改变不需要这么认真By 赛太公 & YY猫