If we're going to be staying in this apartment,
如果我们要继续住在这里
would you be interested in doing a little redecorating?
你有没有兴趣把这里重新装修一下呢
Oh, actually, I would.
其实呢 我还真愿意
Great, what'd you have in mind?
太好了 你有什么想法吗
Let's take every single thing from the other apartment
把对面公寓的每一件东西都搬过来
and put it in here.
然后放在这里面
Well, how about we start a little smaller?
我们从小处开始着手如何
Like moving the furniture around.
比如换下家具位置
You know, I have always thought
其实我一直认为
that this couch would look fantastic
这张沙发如果放在
on the curb in front of the building.
公寓口垃圾堆 一定棒呆了
Look, we can't just throw away Penny's stuff,
我们不能就这样把佩妮的东西扔掉
but we can ask if she wants any of it back.
但我们可以问她想不想把什么东西拿过去
You know, I wonder how she feels about all this artwork.
我想知道她会不会想要回这些挂画
Well, I'm sure she misses this one.
我确定她会很想念这张画
I mean, it's the greatest gift I've ever given anybody.
这可是我此生送给别人最棒的礼物了
It truly does capture the beauty of your friendship with Penny.
这画的确捕捉到了你与佩妮友情的美好
It may have appreciated in value.
而且这画可能还涨价了呢
The artist killed himself shortly after painting that.
画完这画之后 那个画家就自杀了呢
Yeah, it seems only right that she have it back.
这画不让她拿回去太说不过去了
I can't wait to see the look on her face
我都等不及看到她
when I give it to her again.
再度收到这画时的表情了
Look, it's the same smile she has in the painting.
你看 跟画上一模一样的笑容呢
♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪
♪ We built the Wall, We built the pyramids ♪
♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪
♪ That all started with a big bang ♪
Yeah-- there's hooks in the closet,
衣柜里有挂钩
I can hang it right now.
我现在就能帮你挂起来
Oh, no, no, Th-those hooks are gone.
不用了 那些挂钩都不在了
What happened to them?
怎么就不在了
Uh, we ran out of candy on Halloween,
万圣节家里没糖果了
I was just giving everything away.
我就把各种东西拿来送了
Hey, guys, what are you...?
你们俩怎么来...
Oh, that's here, cool.
送这玩意儿来了 棒
Amy wants me to have it.
艾米想要我留着
Well, it would be selfish of me to keep it.
如果我自己留着 那就太自私了
B-But it's a picture of you.
但这画里有你
But you commissioned it.
但是你请人画的
But you like it so much.
但你这么爱它
I seem to be losing.
我节节败退啊
You know, Leonard, the more I think about it,
莱纳德 我仔细想想之后想到
there are a number of mutually owned items in this apartment
这公寓里有好多我们共同拥有的东西啊
that you and I should go through.
我们应该来过一遍所有权
who gets our beloved sword, Longclaw?
这把我们珍爱的《冰与火之歌》长爪宝剑
Why don't you keep it?
要不你拿去吧
That seems fair; we did just give you the painting.
这挺合理 毕竟我们刚把画让给你们了
Yeah, I don't need anything around that I can stab myself with.
家里不用留任何能让我切腹自尽的物品
Wonderful, Longclaw is mine.
太好了 长爪剑是我的啦
And how about you keep our...
那要不你留下我们的...
Sounds right-- a limited edition collectible
很合理啊 一把价值几百美元的
worth hundreds of dollars
限量版收藏品
and a thing that grew out of a thing we fished from the trash.
换从垃圾堆里捡来的破烂长出的所得物
Although, Amy and I did just move in together,
不过... 我跟艾米刚搬入新窝
and a plant is a lovely housewarming gift.
一盆植物是很好的新居礼物呢
Fine, take the plant.
行 你把植物也拿走吧
Oh, we got a sword and a plant;
我们有剑又有植物
our apartment's really shaping up.
咱们的小窝渐渐成型啦
Stuart, you didn't have to get us a baby gift.
斯图尔特 你不用送我们怀孕礼物啦
Just homemade coupons for things you might need help with
就只是一些自制的兑换劵 上面有一些
before the baby gets here.
宝宝生下来前你可能需要帮忙的事
Going to the grocery store, driving you to the doctor.
帮忙去超市买菜 开车载你去看医生
If you're not in a hurry, I can dig you a koi pond.
如果不着急 我可以帮忙你挖个锦鲤池
And that's not me being creepy, that's for either of you.
这不是我在耍变态 你们俩谁用都行
This is very nice, Stuart, thank you.
你人真好 谢谢你 斯图尔特
How come this one's on the back of an eviction notice?
为什么兑换劵是写在一张驱逐令的后面
Oh, yeah. Uh, now that you mention it...
是啊 既然你刚好提到这事情...
Stuart, we'd love to help you out,
斯图尔特 我们很乐意帮忙你
but this a bad time; we're about to have a baby.
但现在真的不合适 我们马上要有孩子了
Or is that why this is a great time?
但也正因为如此 所以是好时候啊
Think about it-- when that baby comes,
你们想想 孩子生下来以后
you're gonna need all the help you can get.
你们会非常需要人手帮忙
but I'm not really sure.
但还是别了吧...
Hang on, maybe it's not the worst idea.
等等 或许这主意也不是那么糟
I mean, he did do a good job taking care of my mother.
毕竟他当时照顾我妈的时候也做得很好啊
That woman didn't get heat rash once
打从由我负责撒爽身粉
with me on powder patrol.
她再也没长过疹子
I guess you could stay for a few days
那要不先让你住几天
and we'll see how it goes.
我们看看再说吧
And it's only temporary,
只是暂时借住而已
just till I get back on my feet.
待我站稳脚跟 东山再起
or the baby goes off to college,
或是宝宝要去上大学了
whichever happens first.
看哪件事先发生吧
When would you move in?
你什么时候搬进来
Well, uh, my car broke down in your driveway,
我的车在你们车道抛锚了
so I'm gonna say now.
大概是现在搬进来吧
But I am ready to be helpful.
但我已经准备帮忙了
I'm gonna go vacuum.
我现在就去吸地板
Actually I just did that this morning.
我今早才吸过一遍
Then I'll check the batteries in the smoke detectors.
那我去检查烟雾侦测器里的电池
Howard just did that.
霍华德刚检查完
Yeah, let him do it.
没事 让他做吧
Remember when we got this at Comic-Con?
还记得我们从漫展买到这个吗
The Mr. Spock cuckoo clock.
斯波克报时钟
Live long and prosper. Live long and prosper.
生生不息繁荣昌盛 生生不息繁荣昌盛
Live long and prosper.
生生不息繁荣昌盛
Live long and prosper.
生生不息繁荣昌盛
It's one of a kind.
世界上仅此一座
So if it breaks there'd be none of it?
所以如果坏了 世界上就没了吗
you know, who should keep this?
这个该归谁呢
On the one hand, I love Mr. Spock more than you do.
一方面 我比你更爱斯波克先生
On the other hand, I care more about clocks than you do.
另一方面 我比你更喜欢钟表
So you think you should keep it?
所以你觉得这个该归你吗
I'll be right across the hall.
我就住在对面
You'll probably be able to hear it.
你没准还能听到它报时呢
Keep the clock, Sheldon.
你拿走吧 谢尔顿
- Thank you. - Thank you?
-是谢谢你 -谢他干嘛
what about our 3-D chess set?
这三维象棋该归谁
Let me guess, you want it.
我猜猜 你想要
I just didn't think you'd want a physical reminder
我只是觉得你不会想有东西时刻提醒你
of a game you never managed to win.
这一款游戏你这辈子都赢不了
As a kindness, I should probably take all the games.
出于好心 我该把所有游戏都拿走
You know what, Sheldon, take it.
好呀 谢尔顿 你拿走吧
In fact, you can have everything.
其实你可以把所有东西都拿走
I really don't care.
我真的不在乎
These items represent our shared times together.
这些东西代表着我们曾经共度的时光
- Well, now they're yours. - Leonard....
-现在都归你了 -莱纳德
Well, you know what's gonna happen.
你也知道接下来会怎么样
He's just gonna come up with some reason
他会编个理由来说明
why everything should be his.
为什么一切都该归他
For a man so good at predicting my moves,
你既然这么会预测我的举动
how come you stink at 3-D chess?
三维象棋怎么就下得这么烂呢
Sheldon, you're-you're being a little selfish.
谢尔顿 你这样有点自私吧
Why don't you let Leonard keep a few things?
你干嘛不让莱纳德挑几样东西留下来
It's not my fault I'm bad at sharing;
我不善于分享又不是我的错
I skipped kindergarten.
谁让我没上过幼儿园呢
There is one thing I would like.
有一样东西我的确想留下来
Yeah, take whatever you want.
好啊 想要什么随便拿
I would like to keep...
我想要留下...
the official flag of our apartment.
我们公寓的官方旗帜
But you don't even like flags.
可你压根不喜欢旗帜啊
Yeah, I like this one.
我独爱这一面
But I designed it.
但这是我设计的
But you made me order it because you were "Too well-known"
但是我订购回来的 因为你在旗帜圈里"太有名"
in the flag community and they'd jack up the price.
所以人们知道是你 就肯定会提价
But you don't even understand its symbolism.
但你根本不懂这旗帜的象征意义
The-the field of blue represents you being miserable,
蓝色的部分代表着你现在痛苦不堪
and the lion sticking its tongue out means
吐舌头的狮子意味着
I'm happy about it.
我喜见乐闻
I know when I'm not wanted.
别人想我滚时我能感觉到
I don't think you do, but all right.
我不认为你真知道 但好吧
Stuart, you cooked?
斯图尔特 你做饭了吗
How did you know it wasn't me?
你怎么知道不是我做的饭
There's only three people in this house,
家里虽然只有三个人
and you'd still be my fifth guess.
我猜肚子的宝宝和拉杰 都不会猜你
Have some bread while it's still warm.
面包快趁热吃点
It's like we have a butler.
感觉就像我们有个管家
If I had a Batsuit I'd be Bruce Wayne.
如果我有变蝙蝠衣 那我就是公子哥蝙蝠侠啦
You have a Batsuit.
你有蝙蝠衣啊
It's pajamas, there's no cape.
那是睡衣 没有斗篷
Hey, Stuart. What are you doing here?
斯图尔特 你在这里干什么
Oh, I'm living here again.
我又住在这里啦
Do, uh, Howard and Bernadette know?
霍华德和伯纳黛特知道这事吗
Or is it like a possum in the walls kind of thing?
还是像负鼠那样 住在墙壁里在夹缝中生存
No, I needed a place to stay
不 我需要个地方住
and, with the baby coming,
而且宝宝快出生了
I figured they could use some extra help.
我觉得他们需要多个人手来帮忙
Anyway, come on in, dinner's ready.
进来吧 晚餐做好了
Oh, but I bought Chinese takeout.
可我买了中餐外卖
Well, if Bernadette wants her ankles to swell up even more,
如果伯纳黛特希望她的脚踝更水肿
she can have that.
她可以吃你买的啊
Is the Wi-Fi working for you?
你那无线网能用吗
I don't think so, I'm clicking on
不能用 我点击了
"One weird trick for a flat belly,"
"让小腹变平坦的小怪招"
but I'm still seeing
可我还停留在
"Celebrities who look like their pets."
"长得像自家宠物的名人们"的页面
Sheldon changed the password.
谢尔顿改了无线密码
Well, the new network name is,
现在的无线网名称是
"Ha ha ha, now I've got you," so...
"哈哈 栽我手里了吧" 所以...
It's either Sheldon or Gargamel from The Smurfs.
不是谢尔顿 就是蓝精灵的格格巫
You're good at revenge; how do we get him back?
你擅长报复 我们该怎么治治他
Well, my go-to move is usually
我的必杀技通常是
sleep with the person's boyfriend,
睡那人的男朋友
but I kind of feel like I'm already doing that.
但我有点觉得自己已经这样做了
Sheldon, I know what you did,
谢尔顿 我知道你干了什么
now change the password back.
快把密码改回来
Well, powder me in sugar and call me a donut,
天下竟有这种奇事
if it isn't Leonard Hofstadter.
莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德大驾光临
Sheldon, I'm warning you,
谢尔顿 我警告你
I can play this game, too.
你玩的小把戏的我也会玩
If it's like your 3-D chess game,
如果你玩小把戏和玩三维象棋的水准一样
then you're out of your length, width and depth.
那你可是在三个维度上都不自量力
Amy, get the Neosporin,
艾米 拿药膏来
somebody just got burned.
有人被损得体无完肤啦
All right, I tried.
好吧 我尽力了
"All right, I tried."
"好吧 我尽力了"
That should be the title of your autobiography.
你应该用这句当你自传的书名
Ooh, a second-degree burn.
有人被损得皮焦肉烂啦
I've got the Neosporin.
我把药膏拿来了
It's a good thing you're cute.
还好你的可爱可以弥补智商
So, I was reading how it's a good idea for new parents
我之前读到 准父母最好报班学习
to take an infant CPR class.
婴儿心肺复苏术
Yeah, we've been meaning to do that.
是啊 我们一直打算去
Oh, I know a CPR instructor who'll come to the house.
我认识一个可以上门授课的心肺复苏指导员
- That'd be great. - I'll give him a call.
-那就太好了 -那我给他打个电话
We met when I was sleeping on the beach
我在沙滩上睡觉时遇见他
and he thought I was dead.
他当时以为我死了
Thank you again for cooking.
再次谢谢你做晚饭
It's getting tough for me to be on my feet all day.
现在站一整天对我来说越来越辛苦了
You just kick back and relax;
你尽管好好休息放松
I've got it all under control.
一切都包在我身上
Although it was already under control.
本来就有人承包这一切事宜了
I'm sorry, you mumbled something?
不好意思 你嘟囔的啥我没听清
It's just that they've had plenty of help.
我只是说他们本来也有人帮忙
Well, you know what they say --
俗语说得好
it takes a village.
"举全村之力 养好一个娃"
Well, they already had a village.
他们早有全村人 用不着你
I noticed the village couldn't find time to put the crib together.
我怎么没见全村人抽空把婴儿床装好呢
Yeah, well, maybe the village was too busy checking out
没准全村人都忙着为新生儿调查
the local Montessori school for the new arrival.
本地蒙特梭利早教中心的口碑好不好
You mean the one with the empty beer bottles in the sandbox?
你是说儿童沙坑里有空啤酒瓶的那家吗
We'll pass, thank you.
我们不去 劳您费心了
Do something, Batman.
想想办法啊 蝙蝠侠
What do you think you're doing?
你这是在干什么
Separating my delicates.
内衣裤要分开来洗啊
This is the level you're stooping to.
你竟堕落到如此地步
This is the level I am stooping to.
这才是我要堕落到的地步
I believe that is flag to crotch four, checkmate.
公寓旗移至股间4格 将军
Easy-peasy, ooh, so breezy.
轻松舒爽 胯下惠风和畅
I'm here to put the crib together.
我是来装婴儿床的
Ooh, sorry, I already did it.
不好意思 我已经装好了
Oh, I don't know if you realize this,
我觉得你可能没意识到这点
but I bought that crib.
但那婴儿床是我买的
Oh, yeah, I read about that on WhoGivesACrap.Com
我在"谁特么鸟你网"上看到了
Why are you being like this?
你为什么要对我百般刁难
Because I love Howard and Bernadette
因为我关爱霍华德和伯纳黛特
and if I want to keep mooching off them, I need to be helpful.
如果我想死赖着不走 我得帮得上忙
Hey, this pregnancy had an emotionally-needy
在你来之前 这个孕期早就被我
third wheel way before you came along.
这个情感空虚的电灯泡承包了
Why can't there be four wheels?
谁规定电灯泡只能有一个
Is this what you do when I'm not here,
我不在的时候 你就是这么争宠的吗
make really good points?
你个说话句句在理的狐媚子
Look-Look, just come in and help me build a baby swing.
好吧 进来帮我给宝宝搭个秋千吧
If you're hungry you can eat your takeout;
你如果饿了可以吃你昨晚买的外卖
I think I'm gonna go for a run.
我想去跑步
No, last time that old lady in the park kept screaming,
不去 上次公园里那个老太太一直大喊
"Watch out, he's right behind you."
"妹子小心 那变态马上要追上你了"
Uh, can I help you?
您有什么事吗
I don't think so, but you're sweet for asking.
我没什么事 不过谢谢你好心询问
What-What are you doing in our apartment?
你在我们公寓里做什么
Oh, I rented a room from your neighbor, the tall guy...
你们邻居租了间房给我 瘦得像电线杆
dressed like a little boy.
穿着像未成年小宅男那个
Okay, uh, I don't know what he told you,
好吧 我不知道他是怎么跟您说的
but you can't stay here.
但您不能住在这
So, there are fresh linens on the bed and...
床单已经都换成新的了
Well, now, I see you've met Theodore.
看来你们已经见过西奥多了
Theodore, these are your new roommates,
西奥多 这两个是你的新室友
Leonard and Penny.
莱纳德和佩妮
They're very honest,
他们为人忠厚
but I would not leave cash lying around.
但我建议你把现金都收好
Sheldon, what do you think you're doing?
谢尔顿 你这是在做些什么
My room is paid up until the end of the month,
这个月的房租我已经付过了
so I can do with it whatever I please,
所以我想怎么样就怎么样
which includes renting it out for a dollar a night.
包括以一块钱一晚的价格租出去
It's like the '40s again.
房价一夜回到解放前
Anyway, I'll leave you be.
好了 我不打扰你们了
He's expecting a newspaper in the morning.
他希望早上能有报纸看
Apparently, they still make them.
原来这年头还有人在印报纸呢
All right, Sheldon, this is over the line.
谢尔顿 你这么做太过份了
but had I done something under the line,
但如果我不这么过份
there wouldn't be a man in your kitchen
你们厨房里就不会出现一个
who can't produce a single form of ID.
身上什么身份证明都没有的陌生人了
Oh, oh, I have a receipt from a blood bank.
我有张卖血的收据
And now you know as much about him as I do.
现在你们对他的了解我和一样多了
Oh, hey, Bernadette,
伯纳黛特
the swing comes with two different mobiles.
这个秋千送了两种转动玩具
The giraffes are pretty cute, what do you think?
这些长颈鹿挺可爱的 你觉得呢
Great, go with the giraffes.
挺好 就用长颈鹿吧
the high contrast of zebra stripes
斑马身上对比鲜明的条纹
might provide better stimulus for a developing baby.
可能能更好地刺激宝宝发育
Yeah, you're probably right, go with the zebras.
说得有道理 还是选斑马吧
Good choice, boss.
太有眼光了 大佬
At least my nose is naturally brown.
至少我的鼻子不是因为拍马屁才变棕色的
Hey, could you please go to the market for me?
你能替我去趟超市吗
Get Stuart or Raj to do it.
让斯图尔特或拉杰去嘛
Howie, they've been doing everything for you.
华仔 他俩替你代劳了所有事
It's really making me lose respect for both of them.
让我越来越看不起这两个家伙了
Please just go to the store.
你就去一趟嘛
Who wants to drive me to the store?
有人要载我去买东西不
- Me! - I'll do it!
-我去 -我去
Stuart is supposed to paint my toenails.
斯图尔特要帮我涂脚指甲油
Should we go to a hotel?
我们应该去住酒店吗
And just leave him here alone?
把他单独留在家里吗
Okay, I'll go to a hotel.
也对 那我自己住酒店
Text me in the morning if you're still alive.
如果明早你还没死 记得短信通知我
how long are you planning to stay exactly?
你打算在这里住多久
Oh, thanks to the coins I found in your couch,
多亏了我在你家沙发里找到的硬币
a day longer than I thought.
比我想象中又多了一天
This is ridiculous.
实在是太不像话了
I like the painting.
我好喜欢这幅画
Is that your mom?
另一个人是你妈吗
Sheldon, get out here!
谢尔顿 给我出来
Will you keep it down?
你小声点好不好
What kind of vengeful bed and breakfast
你当我这儿开得是
do you think I'm running?
吵吵嚷嚷的黑旅店吗
We lived together 13 years.
我们一起生活了13年
How can you be so awful to me?
你怎么能对我如此狠心
You're the one who went out of your way to hurt me.
你才是在我心上用力开一枪的人
Because you were being selfish.
那是因为你太自私了
Dividing our belongings is difficult.
和你分财产可是件难事呢
Why? I said I didn't care!
有什么难的 我什么都不想要
It's none of my business, but it sounds like a lot
虽然不关我的事 不过听起来
of this anger is coming from love.
你们的怒气都是由爱而生的
Yeah, thanks, but nobody asked you.
我谢谢你全家 没人要你说话
Well, I'm just gonna keep on talking.
不管怎样我还是要说下去
Seems like, with Sheldon moving out,
看起来 谢尔顿的搬走
you're in a new phase of your lives
让你的生活进入了一个新的阶段
and it's easier to fight than to face the feelings
所以你们选择了简单的大吵大闹
that you have for one another.
来掩饰你们对彼此的真感情
I think he might be right.
我觉得他说得有道理
Also, who is that?
另外 这位高人是谁啊
leaving you to move in with Amy
与你分开 和艾米同居
has been harder than I thought it would be.
比我想象中要难得多
It's not the same with you gone.
你走了 一切都不同了
If you're looking for a new guy to live with...
如果你想找个新室友...
-No! - We're good. Thank you.
-没门 -不用了 谢谢
So, no one's gonna tell me? Okay.
没人打算回答我吗 好吧
Leonard, I would like us to
莱纳德 我希望能停止
stop fighting about our possessions.
这场财产争夺之战
Well, I'd like that, too.
举双手同意
In fact, I want you to keep the apartment flag,
我希望你能保留我们的公寓旗
and I'm not just saying that
我这么说并不仅仅是
because it touched your genitals.
因为你用生殖器磨蹭过它
And to show you that there are no hard feelings,
为了表示我内心真的没有芥蒂
I am willing to rub my genitals on it as well.
我还愿意用我的生殖器磨蹭那旗子
if we're rubbing genitals on things, that's where I shine.
说到用鸟磨蹭东西 这可是我的强项
Little lower to the left.
左边往下点
No, still hideous.
没用 还是丑得犯罪
Well, I'm sure at some point,
我相信不久的将来
we won't even notice it's there.
我们就会完全忽略它的存在了
Yeah, you'd think that,
你想得挺美
but after a while it starts showing up in your dreams.
但不久它就会出现在你的噩梦里
I think it brings the room together.
我觉得它让整个房间熠熠生辉
Hey, tomorrow who wants to paint the nursery?
明天谁愿意粉刷婴儿室
Why do you get to do it?
凭什么让你做啊
Just because you're starving
你吃不饱饭
doesn't make you an artist.
不等于你就是个艺术家
Just because I look sickly doesn't mean I'm starving.
我一脸菜色也不等于我吃不饱饭啊
Guys, you heard her, go see what she wants.
两位听到没 快去看看她要干嘛
I think I'm in labor.
我好像快生了
Okay, uh, uh, uh, I can do this.
好的 那个那个 包在我身上
Somebody please tell me the plan.
谁来告诉我需要准备什么
- I'll get the hospital bag. - I'll pull the van up.
-我去拿待产包 -我去发动车
Meet you outside in 2 minutes.
2分钟后门外集合
Are we hugging or having a baby?
你俩是要抱个没完 还是要生孩子