摩登家庭 第一季 Modern Family Season 1 第11集: 彻夜未眠 Up all night

上映日期: 2,009

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 家庭

导演: Jason Winer

演员: 阿芮尔·温特 / 艾德·奥尼尔 / 艾瑞克·斯通斯崔特 / 杰西·泰勒·弗格森 / 朱丽·鲍温 / 诺兰·古德 / 里克·罗德里格兹 / 萨拉·海蓝德 / 索菲娅·维加拉 / 泰·布利尔


台词
What's the most irritating thing my parents say to me?
父母对我说过最气人的话?
"That's too much cologne."
"你喷太多古龙水了"
"That's how girls end up dead."
"女孩子就是那样丧命的"
"Don't talk black to me."
"别给我黑嘴"
"It's inappropriate because she's your teacher."
"那样不合适 因为她是你老师"
How do you even talk black?
什么叫黑嘴
End words with "Izzle"?
每句话都加个"嘿"吗
It's "Talk back," You idiot.
是"回嘴" 笨蛋
"Act more like an adult."
"有点大人样好不好"
What does "Act more like an adult" even mean?
什么叫有点大人样 大人该是什么样
Look at you, you're soaked! That is so lame.
看看你 都湿透了 逊死了
You're the one who wanted to do it!
是你先开始的
What are you two doing?
你们父子俩干啥呢
Oh, I picked up one of those Water Weasels.
我捡了个水鼬鼠
You hook it on the end
你把它接到水管的一头
of the hose and it flies around in the air.
它会在空中乱飞
Just like a weasel.
就像鼬鼠一样
Yeah. Look at how awesome. He's so wet.
看看有多酷 他湿透了
I put the weasel in my pants.
我把鼬鼠放我裤子里了
- He totally did. - Dork!
-绝对是真的 -傻蛋
Is there a reason why my window's wet?
为什么我的窗子都湿了
- Hmm. Very difficult to say. - I don't know.
-很难说 -不知道
- Up top- Ow! Ow! - What's wrong?
-击掌 -怎么了
- Little- - Sweetie, you okay?
-小 -亲爱的 你没事吧
Little twinge. Yeah.
小抽了一下 没事
I'll call 911.
我去打911
Maybe the firemen will come.
也许消防员会来
- No, no! No, no! - Give me it!
-不要不要 -电话给我
The firemen in our town have a reputation for being hot.
我们镇上的消防员出了名的性感火辣
Do I resent that?
我不爽他们吗
Of course not. These guys are my friends.
当然不会 他们都是我的朋友
I play basketball with them. I bake for 'em.
我跟他们一起打球 烤蛋糕给他们
My question is: What's hot?
我的问题是 什么叫火辣
Come on! Let's go! Let's go!
快点 走了
Coming.
来了
Manny, it's inappropriate because it's your teacher.
曼尼 她是你老师所以不合适
What's the big deal anyway?
有什么大不了的
It's a surprise. You'll see.
是个惊喜 你们会知道的
Oh, my God!
天啊
- Ay, Jay, you didn't? - Yes, I did.
-杰 不是吧你 -就是我
I got us into that new Benihana.
我在那家新开的红花餐厅订上位了
红花餐厅为美国著名日式连锁餐厅
They got a chef there that can flip a shrimp into his own hat.
那有个厨师可以把虾翻进自己的帽子里
What the hell?
搞什么鬼
- Dad! - There's my boy!
-爸爸 -乖儿子
- The hell is he doing here? - Jay.
-他来这干什么 -杰
No. He was supposed to pick up manny yesterday
不 他昨天就该来接曼尼的
and disappointed him again, as usual.
结果又一如既往地让他失望了
Now he just sails in here out of the blue?
现在又突然冒出来就可以了吗
I don't like the guy. Do I have reasons? Yeah.
我不喜欢那家伙 理由嘛 当然有
Good reasons? Yeah.
正当理由? 当然有
How many reasons do I need?
我需要理由吗
None. I don't like the guy.
不需要 我就是不喜欢那家伙
家 庭
摩 登
第一季第十一集
So I would have called,
我本来要给你们打电话的
but while I was buying this boat for a friend,
但我帮朋友买船的时候
I got chased out to sea by another boat "Tiqui tiqui".
被另外一艘船追出海去了
Were they pirates?
他们是海盗吗
- I didn't stop to ask. - Well, it's not hard to tell.
-我没问 -其实很容易分辨的
Did they have curvy swords and
他们有没有拿着弯刀
sing songs about how fun it is to be a pirate?
唱着海盗生活真快乐
Jay. Such a beautiful house, huh?
杰 房子真漂亮
So, we were just headed out to dinner.
我们正打算出去吃晚餐
What, you think I show up empty-handed?
你以为我空手来的
I brought dinner- lobsters!
我带晚餐了 龙虾
- Did you catch them with your bare hands? - No.
-是你亲手抓的吗 -不是
But I bought them with my bare hands.
但是是我亲手买的
And I have some nice wine, a good Cuban cigar for Jay.
还带了瓶好酒 给杰的一盒上等雪茄
Hey, why don't you take a picture of him with your new camera phone.
嘿 用你的新手机帮他照张相吧
- I don't have a camera phone. - You do now.
-我没有新手机 -你现在有了
Awesome!
太棒了
All of this excitement, my heart is just going.
刺激一波接一波 我心脏都快受不了了
Now, listen to me.
儿子 听着
You bring that with you when you come visit me this summer.
今年暑假你来看我的时候记得带上它
We'll go in a race car with my friend,
我带你去坐我朋友的赛车
and after that, maybe a bullfight.
然后看场斗牛什么的
I know all these guys.
他们我都熟
The matadors, they're like artists.
斗牛士 他们简直就是艺术家
You're quite the bullfight artist yourself.
你自己就跟个斗牛艺术家一样
I, uh- Manny, why don't you show your father to the kitchen?
曼尼 带你父亲去厨房参观下吧
Por favor. Dios mo. Someone put on some music.
谢了 天啊 来点音乐吧
Tonight, we dance!
今晚我们要热舞一宿
Oh, we're gonna dance.
我们会热舞的
Oye, mi amor, est bien que me quede aqu esta noche?
亲爱的 今晚我住这没问题吧
Ay, Javier, yo no s. Esprate para ver qu puedo hacer.
哈维尔 我不知道 我看看吧
What did he say? Does he need money for the lobsters?
他说什么 是不是要龙虾钱
- Jay, be nice. - "Be nice."
-杰 友好点 -"友好"
I could be sitting grill-side,
我本来应该坐在铁板烧旁
watching a guy build an onion volcano.
看着厨师堆洋葱山的
Instead, I got Rico Suave in my kitchen,
现在却看着里克·苏艾文在我厨房瞎晃
里克·苏艾文 著名波多黎各籍摔角手
and I got a stolen boat in my driveway.
车位上还停了艘偷来的船
If it was for me, he'd be out of my life.
如果是为我 早将他踹得一干二净了
But it's good for Manny to be with his father.
但是曼尼需要他的父亲
I just can't believe you ever fell for that act.
你当初怎么就看上他那种货色了
Colombians can be very persuasive.
哥伦比亚人有时很有说服力的
They can make you agree to things before you even know it.
有时候神不知鬼不觉你就答应他们了
You must have been pretty naive.
你当时一定很傻很天真
Yeah. But now I'm with the right man, okay?
是啊 但我现在找到真命天子了
Right.
没错
Javier is only going to stay one night.
哈维尔只住一晚
Good.
很好
Wait, what?
等等 什么
Don't be mad. I just got up to change her.
别生气 我只是起来帮她换个尿布
Well, Mitchell really wanted to Ferberize the baby.
米奇尔想用费伯睡眠法训练宝宝
Ferberize. It is a method of
费伯睡眠法 就是
getting the baby to sleep through the night...
让婴儿晚上...
by, yes, basically letting her cry herself to sleep.
基本上是 自己哭睡着
Torture.
折磨啊
It's not torture, Cam.
那不是折磨 小卡
It's just hard if you happen to be a person
对有些人来说是很难受的
who hates to hear another person suffer.
有些人就是见不得别人受罪
Or two people suffer.
是两个人一起受罪
No, no. You got up to comfort her,
不行 你每次起床安抚她
which only teaches her that every time she cries,
都只会让她觉得 她一哭
her daddy will come in and cuddle her and put on her favorite-
爸爸就会过来抱她 给她看最喜欢的
What are we watching?
这是在看什么
Brian De Palma's controversial masterpiece
布莱恩·德·帕尔玛的争议大作
Scarface.
《疤面煞星》
For the baby?
给孩子看合适吗
She happens to like it.
她很喜欢呢
I don't know if it's the colors or the sounds-
我不知道是因为色彩还是声音
Oh, here comes the nightclub massacre. She loves it.
夜店大屠杀要来了 她最爱这段了
Watch her little eyelids.
看看她的小眼皮
It's so cute. They get so heavy.
都快睁不开了 真可爱
Oh, that's bad.
好疼
- Oh, honey. - I'm fine. No, I'm fine.
-亲爱的 -我没事 真没事
I'm just- Okay, that's cancer.
我只是 好吧 是癌症
Maybe it's just a kidney stone.
也许只是颗肾结石
"Just," Claire?
"只是" 克莱尔
What's going on, guys?
发生什么事了
It's nothing. Go back to bed.
没事 回去睡觉
- No, but Dad... - Don't touch me.
-不 爸爸 -别碰我
I bet it's just a kidney stone.
我敢肯定只是颗肾结石
"Just" Again.
又说"只是"
Someone get your mom a glass of water...
你们谁下去给你妈倒杯水
and a piece of gravel from the driveway and see how she likes it.
再从车道上捡颗石子 看她觉得滋味如何
Why is everybody yelling?
大家在吵什么
Something's wrong with Dad.
爸爸有点不对劲
Don't frighten him. Come here.
别吓着他了 过来
Oh, that's gotta be death! Death is coming!
要死了 死神要过来索命了
- Okay, you need to go to the hospital. - Yeah.
-你得去医院 -没错
No, no, no. I just need a pill.
不用不用 吃药就行了
Give me the biggest one you can find.
给我找片最大的药来
Honey, breathe. Just-Just breathe.
亲爱的 深呼吸 深呼吸就行了
That's what I told you when youwere in labor
你生孩子的时候我也是这么跟你说的
and you threw my smoothie at me. Pill!
结果你把奶昔扔我脸上了 药呢
- Okay, I'm calling. - No, no, it's fine!
-我去打电话 -真不用 没事
It's actually- It's fine. It's passing. It's passing.
没事 过去了 疼痛已经过去了
I am sorry to alarm everyone.
很抱歉吓着大家了
I think I was probably just overreacting,
应该只是我反应过度了
because there's an alien inside of me!
因为我体内住着个外星人呢
Oh, my God.
天啊
- Oh, close it down. - I am definitely gonna call.
-快停下 -我去打电话
All systems down. All systems down.
系统全面衰竭 系统全面衰竭
- Son of a bitch. - What's the matter?
-混蛋 -怎么了
He's playing on my pool table, that's what.
你说呢 他在玩我的台球
Probably got himself a nice drink too.
大概还给自己倒了杯好酒
Where you going, Jay?
你要去哪 杰
- Just to check things out, okay? - Come on.
-我就出去看看 -算了吧
You hear that? Now he's messing around with my remote control.
听见没 他又开始乱动我的遥控器了
You can't hear that from here!
这么远你怎么听得见
Hey, there.
嘿 老弟
Hey, Jay. Listen, I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?
杰 对不起 吵醒你了吗
No. No, I'm a light sleeper.
没有 我本来睡得就浅
- That's what happens when you get older. - Oh, you're not old.
-年纪大了就这样 -你才不老呢
I didn't say I was old.
我没说我老
I never sleep much anyway.
我本来也不怎么睡
Life is just more interesting after 2:00 A.M.
凌晨两点以后 生活才精彩得多
You know, the liquor tastes better,
美酒更香醇
the, uh, women are more beautiful.
女人更美丽
What is it they say?
他们怎么说来着
That the night belongs to the poets and the madmen.
夜晚是属于诗人与疯子的
- Which are you? - Perhaps both.
-你是哪个 -也许两个都是
And I think maybe you too, huh?
我感觉你也一样 是吧
I see a picture over here of you on a motorcycle.
我看到那边你骑着摩托车的照片了
- You ride? - I used to.
-你喜欢骑摩托车吗 -曾经
Used to? Used to?
曾经 曾经
Jay,
the saddest words in any language, my friend.
全世界语言中最伤感的词莫过于此了 朋友
Hey, help me out here.
嘿 你给我说说
Everybody sees you as this great guy.
大家都觉得你很了不起
You know, you live this life of adventure.
过着到处冒险的精彩生活
How come I don't buy a word of it?
我怎么一个字都不信呢
All I see is a dad who doesn't show up.
我看见的只是个爽约的父亲
Hey, Manny knows me. I live in the now.
曼尼了解我 我是活在当下的人
Well, I was living in the yesterday
我的当下就是昨天
when Manny was crying outside that door...
曼尼坐在门口哭泣
cause you didn't show up for the 10th time.
因为你第十次爽约
And when I don't come, you think,
你觉得我没来
uh- what, I'm just off chasing a good time, hmm?
是因为我在别处花天酒地
You ever think it might be hard for me, coming here?
你有没有想过 我来这里也很不好受
Why? Because of Gloria?
为什么 因为歌洛莉亚吗
Because of you.
因为你
Cam!
小卡
Okay, they're on their way.
好了 他们马上就来
Okay, kids, gather around.
孩子们 围过来
Like you're hugging me, but don't touch me, okay?
像拥抱我的样子 但别碰我
Now look, I'm gonna be fine.
听着 我会没事的
We know, Dad.
我们知道 爸爸
We don't know that.
我们可不知道
It's a miracle I'm standing up.
我能站起来就是个奇迹了
But look, in case anything happens-
但是 万一天有不测
I want you to know that if I'd had time,
我希望你们明白 如果我有时间
I would have fixed that step.
肯定早把楼梯修好了
- Thanks, Dad. - I love you.
-爸爸 谢谢你 -我爱你
Don't cry, Luke. I'm okay.
卢克 别哭 我没事
I broke the coffee table!
我把茶几打碎了
That's okay.
没关系
What?
什么
I broke the glass coffee table.
打碎玻璃茶几的是我
The one you swore you didn't break,
可你当时发誓不是你干的
and then we blamed Esperanza and fired her...
我们因此怪罪艾斯贝兰斯 把她开除了
and she stole a turkey at Thanksgiving for her family
害的她在感恩节偷了只火鸡给家里
and got deported?
结果被驱逐出境了
- Yeah. - Damn it!
-是 -该死
- I'm sorry. - You will be sorry!
-我很抱歉 -你会受到惩罚的
- They're here! - Really?
-他们到了 -真的吗
Did you hear that?
你听到了吗
Luke broke the-
卢克打碎了
Hey, you changed your clothes.
你换衣服了
Well, I had- I had to get dressed.
我不换衣服怎么见人啊
Into that sexy, clingy-
换了件这么性感紧身的
Oh, my God. It's the firemen.
天啊 是给那些消防员看的
No, sweetie.
不是的 亲爱的
And lipstick!
还擦了口红
I'm out here convulsing in agony
我正在剧烈疼痛中煎熬
and you're looking for cute tops to wear?
你还有心思找漂亮衣服
I just threw on the first thing I could find.
我就随手拿了一件
We got a minute, if you wanna try on some tighter jeans-
我们还有时间 如果你还想换条紧身裤
Oh, Phil, sweetie.
菲尔 亲爱的
Oh, no. By all means, Claire,
不 不管怎么说 克莱尔
we want you looking your sexiest...
你当然得以最性感火辣的面貌
when the hunky, gay firemen get here!
来迎接那些健壮基情的消防员
- How we doing? - We're great.
-怎么样 -很好
- He meant me! - All right.
-他是说我 -好吧
Cameron!
卡梅隆
No, listen, Jay. You're a tough guy to compete with.
听我说 杰 你是个强劲的对手
I mean, look at all you have.
看看你拥有的这一切吧
So Manny has to suffer?
你因此只好让曼尼伤心吗
No. You're right.
不 你是对的
Look, I'm going to try harder.
我以后会更加努力的
But maybe it's a good thing that he has the two of us.
但也许他同时有我们两个父亲是好事
From you, he learns stability.
从你身上他可以学到沉稳
From me, he learns how to be spontaneous,
而从我身上 他可以学到随性
grab life by the throat.
掐住命运的咽喉
Well, we do a little throat grabbing ourselves around here, you know.
我们有时候也会有掐住别人喉咙的冲动
We were on our way to Benihana when you showed up.
我们之前正打算去红花餐厅 结果你突然出现了
Hey, as long as my boy follows his passion.
只要我儿子能追逐他的梦想就行了
The worst career decision I ever made
我这辈子做的最烂的职业决定
was playing baseball, but I loved every minute of it.
就是去打棒球 但我无时无刻不在享受
You played baseball?
你打过棒球
I lived baseball.
看家本事
I only made it to Triple-A,
只打进了三A联盟
三A联盟是美国职棒最高等级的小联盟
but I played with all those guys- Sosa, McGwire.
但我跟索萨 麦圭尔他们都一起打过球
You look like you played some.
你看起来也打过的样子
I played in high school.
我高中的时候打过
I was all right. Never hit a curve ball.
我打得还行 但从来没击中过曲线球
So that's a dream of yours?
所以那就是你的梦想吗
To- To hit a curve?
击中曲线球
Used to be.
曾经是
"Used to be." Por favor.
又是"曾经" 拜托
I said that again, right?
我又说了一次是不是
Hey, please. Come on.
嘿 别这样
You're right, I shouldn't say that.
你说得对 我不该总这么说
What are you guys doing?
你们干什么呢
Manny, did we wake you up? I'm sorry.
曼尼 吵醒你了吗 真抱歉
No. I was doing my science extra credit.
没有 我在做科学课的额外学分作业
- Of course you were. - So, can I play?
-不用想也知道 -我也能玩吗
That's up to your dad.
由你爸爸决定
Actually, I think we're done with pool for right now.
我觉得我们桌球玩的差不多了
I have a better idea for the three of us. Vamos.
我有个更好的主意 走
So, how do you know this guy?
你怎么认识那家伙的
He owes me a little favor.
他欠我个小人情
This is the coolest night ever!
今晚简直酷毙了
Now, let's see about that curve ball.
我们来试试曲线球
- Out. - I thought you were-
-出去 -我还以为你在床上
Those were pillows. Come on. Come on.
那是枕头堆的 出去 快出去
Cameron, do you realize how infuriating this is?
卡梅隆 你意识到你有多气人了吗
The whole point of Ferberizing...
"费伯睡眠法"的精髓就在于
is to teach her to put herself to sleep,
让我们家闺女自己入睡
and you keep ruining it.
你却一直捣乱
I can't help it. I'm like a mother bear.
我情难自禁 我就像一头小母熊
When I hear my cub crying, I have to run to her.
熊宝宝一哭 我就得赶去抱抱她
Except you're not a bear. Get in our room.
你可不是头熊 快回屋
Get- Cam, get in there. Get in there.
回 小卡 回屋 回屋
- Cut it out. - All the way- Our room.
-别闹了 -快点 回屋去
Get! Get in there.
进去 快进去
Come on. Come on. Get in there. Get!
快走 快走 进去 进去
That's so unfair. Why not?
真不公平 为什么不行
Because that's how girls end up dead.
因为女孩子就是那样丧命的
- Hey, honey. - Hey, guys.
-亲爱的 -大伙儿都来啦
We just wanted to see how you're doing.
我们就想看看你怎么样
Is this a bad time?
没妨碍到你吧
No, we're just giving him something to relax before the procedure.
没 只是在手术前给他注射一点镇定剂
Which is gonna go just fine.
手术肯定会顺利的
- Oh, we know. - We don't know.
-我们知道 -鬼知道
In case it doesn't,
如果你爹下不了手术台
promise me you'll be nice to your new fireman daddy.
答应我 跟你们的消防员后爸好好相处
Unbelievable.
疯了吧你
My wife got dressed up for the firemen last night.
我老婆昨晚居然为了消防员梳妆打扮
I didn't get dressed up for the firemen.
我才没有为消防员打扮
Those heels were really hot.
高跟鞋啊 勾死人了
- You put on heels? - Let's drop it.
-你还穿高跟 -话题结束
What are they doing to you, Dad?
他们要对你做什么啊老爸
I have a little scratchy rock inside of me
我身体里有颗烦人的石头
and they're sliding in a tube and sucking it out.
大夫们会用根管子把它吸出来
You're not scared, are you?
你应该不害怕吧
When was the last time you saw your old man scared?
你老爸我什么时候害怕过
When you walked through the spiderweb.
有一次你缠到蜘蛛网
When we were playing with the Ouija board
还有次我们玩灵应牌时
and the wind blew the door shut.
一阵风把门给关上了
There was no wind, buddy. We brought something forth.
绝不是风 伙计 是我们招来的灵物
Oh. This stuff's really hitting me.
哎哟 镇定剂起作用了
My insides feel like velvet.
五脏六腑都麻醉酥了
Why don't you guys wait out in the hallway, okay?
你们在外面等我一下好吗
- Feel better, Dad. - I will.
-老爸 快好起来 -会的
- Love you, Dad. - Love you.
-我爱你 老爸 -我也爱你
- Love you. - Luke, buddy, hold back a sec.
-爱你 -卢克 老弟 等会儿
This is not gonna happen, okay,
我不会死的 好吗
but there is a scenario
不过万一遭遇不测
where you could be the man of the house...
你成了一家之主
and you need to know all the PIN numbers and passwords.
你得知道家里所有的识别码和密码
- 741 - I don't wanna be the man of the house.
-741 -我才不要做家里的男主人
Now, don't talk black to me.
现在不是"黑"嘴的时候
Honey, your dad's gonna be fine.
宝贝儿 你爸会好起来的
Why don't you wait out in the hall. He'll be fine, okay?
去外面等我吧 他会没事的 好吗
Honey, I'm just gonna run them to school.
亲爱的 我得赶紧送他们上学
I'll be back right after.
送完就过来
- Okay. Claire? - Yeah.
-恩 克莱尔 -我在
You did get dressed up, didn't you?
你确实打扮了 是吧
I pulled on the first thing I saw, okay?
我随手拿了一件衣服穿的 好吗
Okay, I'll drop it
好吧 不提了
'cause this stuff is making me fall asleep.
药起效了 好困
And if I never wake up, I'd hate
如果我长眠于世 你对我说的最后一句
for the last thing you ever said to me to be a lie.
是谎话的话 我做鬼也会记恨你的
I might have gotten dressed up just a tiny bit.
或许我真的小小地打扮了一下下吧
- I knew it. - Oh, damn it!
-我就知道 -该死
Manny, we're gonna be late for school.
曼尼 上学要迟到了啊
Why are you so tired today?
你今天怎么这么累啊
Any reason I can't take him?
为何不让我送他去呢
I'm surprised you're up.
你竟然起床了呢
I know what time you went back to bed.
我可知道你昨晚几点回来的
Oh, it was nothing. We just went out, we hit a few balls.
没大碍 我们就出去打了会儿球
And you'll never guess where.
你绝对猜不到我们去哪儿打了
I guess Javier knew a guy.
我猜哈维尔上面有人
And you know what?
跟你说吧
Now that he knows you,
现在他可跟你认识了
the next time he needs something, you are the guy.
以后他要是有困难 你就成他上面的人了
Ay, Dios mo. Did you took him with you?
妈妈咪呀 你是不是也带他去了
You couldn't wait to get to school to do that?
忍到学校再打瞌睡会死吗
Manny, vamonos para el colegio.
曼尼 跟我去上学
Let's go. We're gonna be so late. Vamonos.
快走 今天迟大发了 快去学校
Vamos a llegar tardsimo, Manny,
我们得迟到了 曼尼
qu te pasa? Get in the car.
磨叽什么呢 快上车
I thought you said you wanted me to bond with Javier.
我记得你说过 要我好好跟哈维尔相处的啊
I said be nice, Jay.
我说让你友好点
I didn't say take Manny up all night and play games.
没说让你们带着曼尼刷夜打球啊
- Then we got hot dogs. - Ay. Go to sleep!
-我们还吃了热狗哦 -给老娘睡觉去
If I wanted to be married to a wild man,
我要是想要一个疯狂的男人
I would have stayed with Javier.
我就不会离开哈维尔了
Qu pasa?
什么情况啊
- Dad! - Por dios, no.
-老爸 -我的天呐 不是吧
What the hell?
搞什么鬼
Wait a minute.
等一下
- You're not leaving, are you? - I've got school.
-你们该不是要走了吧 -我得去上学
- What? School? - Yes, school.
-什么上学 -是的 上学
That's where people go to learn things,
人们去学校是要学知识的
like not to keep children up all night.
比如说别带着小孩子刷夜
- He told her? - He's weak.
-他招了吗 -他弱爆了
Well, listen, you said you used to like riding motorcycles, right?
听着 你说你曾经喜欢骑摩托车 对吧
So I brought you one.
所以我给你带了一辆
- I know. But I kind of got work. - Work.
-我知道 但我得工作 -工作毛啊
- Go, Jay. - Yeah, go.
-上吧 杰 -对啊 上吧
Yes, go, Jay, and take Manny with you too!
对啊 杰 把曼尼也带上吧
Okay.
好啊
No, Manuel Alberto!
不 曼尼尔·阿尔伯特
In the car or I put you in the trunk!
上车 不然老娘把你塞到后备箱里
Jay, I'm not gonna argue anymore.
杰 我不跟你争了
I'm not gonna say anything else. Do whatever you want.
我不多嘴了 你随意吧
But I don't wanna hear you any more saying that Colombians are crazy,
但别让老娘再听到你抱怨哥伦比亚人疯狂
'cause you're the one that is acting crazy,
因为跟你比起来我们弱爆了
even though he's the one that is making you act crazy.
虽然说你是被他带疯的
So I don't know what the hell I'm talking about! Manny!
我也不知道自己在说神马 曼尼
You didn't need to come home during nap time.
你没必要在她午睡时回来的
Think we proved last night that I did.
昨晚的事证明我十分有必要回来
Well, she's back there now, so why don't you go,
好吧 她就在后面 你走吧
so you don't get in trouble.
我担心老板找你麻烦
That's okay. I told everyone
没事的 我跟大家说
that I have an unreliable partner,
我找了个不可靠的伴侣
and, uh, they understood.
然后 他们表示理解
You know what? I don't need to sit here and be condescended to.
你知道不 我才不要在这里被冷嘲热讽
I'm gonna make myself an ice tea.
我去弄杯冰红茶
I will bring you down.
信不信我抽你
You can't bring me down.
就你 别逗了
I'll sweep your legs.
我会扫堂腿
There's something wrong with you...
你绝对不是正常人
that the sound of our child in such distress
我们家闺女如此痛苦抑郁地哭喊
doesn't bother you more.
居然扰不了你半根神经
She's not in distress,
她才不抑郁呢 而且
and this just proves that you need this more than she does.
此事恰恰证明 你比她更需要费伯睡眠法
I'm Ferberizing two babies.
我得用此法锻炼两个宝宝
Raccoons slipped into the lawsons' home
前几天有浣熊溜进劳森家
and stole a loaf of bread.
偷了一长条面包
Your point?
你想说什么
That we left Lily's window open a crack,
你想想 莉莉房间窗户开了道缝
and those raccoons need something to put between that bread,
浣熊要找些小菜做个三明治
and that is Lily's "Help me" Cry.
然后莉莉就哭着喊救命了
- I'm coming for you, Lily. - No, you're not.
-熊妈妈来救你了 莉莉 -你敢
You are not coming, Cameron.
你不准去 卡梅隆
Let me go! Hey, stop it!
让我去 嘿 你撒手
Let go! Get off me! What are you doing?
放开我 下来 你干什么
- Stop! - I will not stop.
-停下 -我不停
Stop being such a baby. I'm coming for you!
别淘气了 宝宝我来了
- What? - Oh, my ankle.
-咋了 -脚崴了
My ankle.
脚崴了
Ay! I guess you didn't kill yourself in the motorcycle today.
我还以为你会从摩托车上摔死呢
Well, I figured you were looking forward to killing me,
我知道你恨不得亲手杀了我
so I'm not gonna take that away from you.
我怎么能驾车归西 让你愿望落空呢
Hey, did Javier call you?
那个 哈维尔打给你了没
No, why?
没有啊 怎么了
He's dragging me to this bar with some of his old baseball pals.
他要拉我去酒吧会会他的老球友
He was supposed to be here at 5:00.
说好5点这边见的
- Ah, he's dragging you, huh? - Yeah.
-他拉着你啊 -没错
I figured it would be okay.
我觉得没什么不妥的
I've seen half these guys play.
我见识过当中一半的人打比赛
Javier says it's cool.
哈维尔说没什么
- What? What's the joke? - Nothing.
-你笑什么 -没什么
It's just funny to me... that you make fun of me
真好笑 你之前还笑话我
because I was seduced by him,
怎么会被他那样的人勾去了魂
but here you are-
但你现在...
No one is getting seduced.
我才没有被他勾去了魂
I'm doing this for Manny.
我这么做都是为了曼尼
Yeah, it's very important for Manny
对哦 你们俩去山上浪漫地野餐
that you two go and have a nice picnic in the mountains.
对曼尼来说是多么滴重要啊
First of all, it wasn't a picnic. We stopped for coffee.
首先 那不叫野餐 就喝了杯咖啡
They just happened to be selling crepes.
碰巧那儿有卖煎饼果子的
Listen. Let me know when he calls, all right?
听着 他打来知会我一声 好吗
Geez, it's almost 6:00.
天呐 眨眼就6点了
The kids are so excited for you to come home.
孩子们都盼着你回家呢
Oh, me too.
我也想他们了
Yeah, Luke made you a sign.
对了 卢克还给你做了个标语呢
- Oh, he's a sweetie. - Yeah. You seem great.
-他最贴心了 -你看上去气色挺好的
- I am great. - Good.
-确实感觉不错 -那就好
Except for that fireman thing.
除了消防员那事
- You remember it? - Mm-hmm.
-你还记着呢 -必须的
- Yeah, okay. Look, I am sorry. I'm so sorry. - Ah, no.
-好吧 对不起 -没事啦
There's no excuse for it.
都是我的错 没有借口
I think I just spend so much time in dowdy mom clothes,
我一家庭妇女 每天邋里邋遢
and I'm covered in paste and peanut butter,
身上都是面粉和花生酱
and I just- I wanted to feel attractive for a second, you know?
我只想偶尔能散发点魅力 懂吗
I'm sorry. I really-
对不起 我真的
Honey, I just need a little bit of time.
亲爱的 再给我点时间释怀
- Gonna be fine. - Okay.
-我会没事的 -好吧
- Yeah. - Okay.
-恩 -好吧
I was already fine with it.
我早就想开了
Here's the deal: Claire messed up.
哥在下一盘很大的棋 克莱尔搞砸了
She owed me.
她欠我的
This never happens.
千年难得一遇的好事
Old Phil has a golden ticket.
老菲尔金牌在手啦
Now, I could have cashed that in right away for something small-
现在 我可以立刻兑换些小恩惠
get out of cleaning the garage, a week at circus camp.
不用打扫车库 去参加一周马戏团夏令营之类的
- Still fresh. - Yeah.
-记忆犹新 -知道
But the longer you hold on to it, the more the guilt builds,
但是拖得越久 她愧疚感越多
the more you get.
哥得到的也就越多
Five years: Trip to Paris with my buddies.
拖五年 和弟兄们去巴黎旅行
Ten years: Sweet little convertible.
拖十年 漂亮的敞篷车
Twenty years:
拖二十年
Hello, fully articulating, five-function robot...
你好啊 语言表达清晰 全功能的机器人
that can read my mind and has feelings.
能读懂我的思想 有自主感觉
Phil, you're not leaving without saying good-bye, are you?
菲尔 你不是打算不辞而别吧
Hey, Elaine.
嘿 伊莱恩
- Is this your husband? - Uh-huh.
-他是你老公吗 -是啊
- Good-bye, Paris. - I'm visiting my sister...
-再见了 巴黎 -我来探望我姐姐
and he was entertaining us all afternoon with his card tricks.
他一下午就在那玩魔术牌逗我们开心
- Is that Phil? - Hey.
-菲尔来啦 -嘿
Hey, Mom, Phil's leaving.
妈 菲尔这就走了
- Without a hug? - Wow.
-不跟我抱抱吗 -一波又一波啊
Good-bye, fully articulating,
再见了 语言表达清晰
five-function robot with the ability to- Good-bye.
全功能的 会说"再见"的机器人
Brittany, hurry, honey. Phil's leaving.
布兰妮 快点宝贝儿 菲尔走了
You're fine.
你没事的
- How's your ankle? - It's cold.
-脚踝还疼吗 -拔凉的
- I'm sorry I hurt you. - No. No, don't be. I-
-对不起害你受伤 -别 别这样
I could have just as easily hurt you.
我也可能轻易伤到你的
Well, it's cute that you think that.
好吧 你倒是挺大言不惭的
Listen, Cam, I- I can't always be the bad cop here.
听着 小卡 我不想一直唱白脸
I-I know it's my issue,
我知道自己很严格
but she can't grow up with
但是我不希望她成长的过程中
one huggy, happy, cuddly dad...
你一直是那个胸襟宽广 温暖可人的爸爸
and one frowny, lesson-teachy dad.
我却是那个死板严肃 满嘴教条的爸爸
Because guess which one
因为我们也不知道
she's gonna ask to walk her down the aisle.
她最后会选谁陪她走婚礼红毯
Uh- Y- Okay, you know what?
你说得对 这样吧
I can be the bad cop sometimes.
我也可以适时唱唱白脸的
I'll always make her eat her vegetables.
让她吃蔬菜的任务就交给我吧
- Okay. Dentist. - Deal.
-行 看牙医也交给你 -成交
- Good. - As long as you make her practice her violin.
-好的 -只要你逼她练小提琴
Oh, yeah. The violin. I like that.
对了 小提琴 我喜欢
And we're both walking her down the aisle.
还有 到时候我们一起伴着她走红毯
Assuming you can walk by then.
如果你到时候还能走路的话
Do you need to go to the hospital for that?
要去医院看看吗
No, God. No, no. It's not that bad.
不了 妈呀 不了 没那么严重
Oh, you meant call 911, didn't you?
你的意思是打911吧
Firemen.
性感消防员哦
Yeah, you call, and I'm gonna change my shirt.
快打电话 我换件衣服去
So, if I'm supposed to act like an adult,
那么 如果要我有点大人样
is that act like adults I see in the world-
是让我像世上正常的大人那样
Or the adults in my family?
还是像家里的这些大人
'Cause if it's the ones in my family-
如果要我像家里的大人一样
- Come on. Let's go. - All right.
-走吧 回去吧 -好的
Then...
那么...
how hard could that be?
也没什么难的
Doing the card tricks at the hospital
在医院里玩的纸牌魔术
really got me fired up about my magic again.
重燃了我的魔术之火
Is this your card?
这是你刚刚那张牌吗
Yes. Oh, my gosh.
没错 你真牛
It's- It's not, is it?
其实 并不是吧
No, uh, no. It's not.
不是 真不是
The hardest part is when people forget their card,
最虐心的就是对方自己都忘了是哪张牌
because then I look like the idiot.
因为那样就显得我像个傻瓜
- All right. Let's do it again. - We really have to go.
-好吧 再玩一次 -我们真得走了
- You think I like this? - I'm sorry.
-你以为我喜欢这样吗 -抱歉
Here. I'm gonna teach you one, okay?
来 哥教你一招好吗
On the count of three, just grab this. You ready?
数到三你就抓住这个 准备好了吗
- Put your hand out. - Okay.
-把手伸出来 -好的
One, two, three. There it is.
一 二 三 走你
No. What was that?
不是吧 这整哪出啊
Thank you.
谢谢配合
Are you kidding me?
拿我当猴耍呢