He's really, it's really messed up.
Watch the door, okay?
Hey, hello. Habla English?
Hey, are you the son?
She hit-hit him while driving.
- My leg. - El smack-o.
Look. Look. Just a crazy old biznatch who ran over my brother.
It hurts so bad. It hurts so bad.
- Look at that. - Yeah, it's this one.
- My leg. - She-she broke his leg.
And then she stood on the gas. It's a hit-and-run.
She, she felonied me. That's a felony.
Got the whole thing right here.
- Dios mio. - Okay, hold on. Hold on.
L-let me talk to her.
- So, start talking. - Yeah, good.
Look. He can't, he can't put any pressure on it.
I need to lean on you, so...
I think it's-it's definitely broken.
Es muy mal for my leg-o.
Here. Lean up, lean up on the mantel.
No, man, it really hurts.
Just hang in there. Hang in there.
- "Muy mal"? - Yeah, it's muy mal.
-是"坏掉"吗 -没错 就是坏掉
Dude. Yes, si, problema.
- And now dos problemas. - Dude!
Si, d-dos big problemas.
I don't know what you're saying, man.
We got a real problem here, si.
Dios mio. Dios mio.
Hey, amigo, what are you gonna do about this leg situation?
I really need to see a doctor.
A doctor, doctors ain't cheap. It's gonna cost.
Either you or her, somebody's got to pay.
- Yes! - Yeah, damn straight.
Hit-and-run? It's no joke.
We're, what are the cops gonna say?
- Y-yeah, yeah, maybe. - That's up to you, man.
they can be looking at this tape anytime now.
It's all up to you.
Oh, that's really bad.
you c-called her "Biznatch"?
- I didn't... - Yeah, but whatever, man.
Please, hurry it up. I'm hurting here.
Show us the green, or la policea is gonna come,
and they're gonna be taking granny away!
She's gonna go to jail. Do you want that?
Yeah, that's right, play it smart.
Okay, good. So, let's talk dollar amounts.
For what you did to my--
Hi. Get over here.
Bring No-doze and tell Nacho to bring his van.
Open up! Officer of the court!
Open up in the name of the law!
Good afternoon. This --
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm showing hands.
冷静 冷静 我把手举起来
I'm -- I'm relaxed -- okay? -- Um, non-threatening.
You move, and you're dead.
Seems to be a misunderstanding.
Is there, by any chance, a Betsy Kettleman here?
See, I'm not sure if this is a situation
where I should or should not look you in the eye.
Are you with those redheaded scumbags?
My name's James Mcgill. I'm an attorney.
Uh, I got a call from some clients, uh,
said something about an accident.
I did not get any details.
When I saw some skateboards in your front yard,
I assumed they might --
I'm gonna make an educated guess what happened here.
Frick and Frack, the mopheads,
were in a simple traffic accident, a minor fender bender,
but maybe they were on the wrong side of the street,
or they didn't look both ways.
It could happen to anyone.
My clients, exhibiting extremely poor judgment,
uh, followed your grandmother
to this delightful, well-tended home.
Now, at this juncture, I'm deducing
that they said or did something that...crossed a line,
And you, with some justification --
you put them in their place.
Based on the salsa stain there, could have gone a couple ways.
The bottom line -- not to be morbid,
but if they're dead, um, I'm guessing that I'm...
I'm gonna -- I'm gonna -- yeah, I'm gonna go
with glass half full here and say they're not.
Uh, my point is, if they're still alive,
why kill us? Why?
Because of a misunderstanding? Our own stupidity?
Why mess up your lovely abuelita's place?
Why jump to the nuclear option?
See, I'm saying keep it simple.
I will collect my moronic clients, and --
poof! -- We are gone.
Neither you nor your lovely abuelita
will ever lay eyes on us ever again, guaranteed,
signed, sealed, and delivered.
Assuming, you know, that they're still breathing.
You got a mouth on you.
That way. Y-yeah, sure. Why not?
那边吗 好的 这就去
So, what -- I should cut 'em loose?
It was him! It was all his idea!
He -- he wanted to scam you.
He said we could clear 2 grand, easy.
Are you punking my abuelita?
He doesn't know what he's saying.
For what are you getting 2 grand?
It was for going after your grandma,
just for taking a header over her car and then b-bracing her.
It was him, I swear! It was the lawyer!
都是他的主意 我发誓 是这个律师
Who are you?! Why are you after me?!
I can explain. It's -- you're gonna laugh.
It's so -- I'm a lawyer. I -- check my I.D., okay?
我是个律师 你可以看我的身份证 好吗
But I was running a scam.
- On my abuelita?! - No, no!
Not on your abuelita, not on you.
There's a woman named Betsy Kettleman.
She's married to Craig Kettleman.
He's the treasurer of Bernalillo County.
I wanted his business 'cause...
he stole a million and a half bucks from the county.
He's gonna be indicted for embezzlement any day now.
This is a good case for me -- a lot of publicity.
I'll get my name out, and...
Anyway, I thought if I had these two
run their little skateboard hustle on Mrs. Kettleman,
I could, you know, rescue her.
Come in, throw some oil on troubled waters,
and, yeah, I'd get their business.
That was the plan.
But it turns out your lovely abuelita --
...that's a whole lot like the Kettle-mobile.
So, these two geniuses ran their little stunt on the wrong one.
So, joke's on me.
I -- simple as that.
Talk to me, okay?
Who do you think I am? What is he getting?
I was running a scam to get a client.
I made a mistake. That's all this is.
That's not... I'll talk, okay?
Tell me what you want to know!
Who do -- who do you think I am?
Hey, use your words, okay?
You know what I smell?
No, that's not necessary.
Okay, we know you're with the heat. The question is, who?
- Local? FBI? - No, no, no.
- D.E.A.?! - No, I'm a lawyer.
Just reach in my pocket right now -- right there!
I'm a lawyer! Guys, I passed the bar! Ask me anything!
我是律师 我通过了司法考试 随便问
Not contract law, okay? I'm down at the courts every day!
I'm a known quantity -- I am!
I'm -- I'm special agent Jeffrey Steele, FBI.
I'm undercover, okay? You got me.
我是卧底 知道吗 被你发现了
I'm the tip of the spear,
and releasing me would be the smart move.
I told you the business was too good.
I knew it. I told you.
Okay, uh, special agent, uh, Steele?
好吧 特工先生 斯蒂尔
Jeffrey A. Steele.
Okay, agent Steele, what business are we in?
好吧 斯蒂尔特工 我们惹上什么案子了
- Business? - You're investigating us, right?
-什么案子 -你在调查我们 不是吗
For what? What did we do?
- What do we sell? - Drugs.
- What kind of drugs? - Uh...It's Title 21,
Schedule II through Schedule V, including Part "B."
That's what we call them down at the bureau.
It's -- the task force
is designated "Operation King Breaker."
- "King Breaker"? - So...
That makes me the king!
The next words out of your mouth got to be the truth.
I'm James Morgan Mcgill. I'm a lawyer.
I was trolling for business, okay? That's the truth.
Now, you find a bible, I'll swear on it.
Okay, what about, uh, Operation, uh, King Breaker, FBI?
"打倒国王行动" 联调局 是怎么回事
I made it up, okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
是我编的 对不起 对不起
I don't know you. I don't want to.
Uh, this was a mistake, oka-- it's my mistake, okay?
这就是个错误 是我的错 行吗
I take full and complete responsibility,
but I don't know any of your names,
and I got a bad case of face-blindness.
You let us go, we're gonna forget this happened.
Guys, we're gonna forget, right?
伙计们 我们会忘记 是不是
So, if you just let us go and just --
We want to just go... home.
I say cut 'em loose.
He said he was FBI. He admitted it.
You had your wire cutters on him.
He would have said anything.
You really see the FBI hiring those two flaquitos?
Croaking a lawyer for no reason is bad business.
He goes away, someone's gonna come look for him.
They walked into my house.
They disrespected my abuelita.
They call her "Biznatch"!
And they just walk?!
What about the lawyer?
He's giving respect.
"James M. Mcgill.
A lawyer you can trust."
I know how to find you, James Mcgill.
Understand what I'm saying?
Take him back to his car.
Uh, uh, this is -- this is good.
- This -- this is right. Thank you. - Come on.
-这是正确的选择 谢谢你 -走吧
What -- what -- what about them?
- Come on. - Yeah, right.
- Come on. - Uh, yeah, right.
Yo, where you going?
Uh, wait. Can I -- can I say something?
- Where you going? - Can you let them go?
- Just let them go. - Are you stupid?
They don't deserve to die. I put them up to it.
I don't deserve to die, but they don't, either.
I'm gonna skin them, like javelinas!
Forget about them! They're insects!
They're -- hey, think about their mother.
I spit on their mama!
She is a sweet little lady. She -- she's a widow.
She works hard all day, every day,
Just like her mother before her, from dawn till dusk,
Scrubbing the floors of rich people.
She needs a cane to walk, you know?
She's got arthritis. And still, she works every day.
What -- for herself? No. No.
For them -- for these two,
her boys, her apples of her eye.
You say they don't deserve her?
Maybe so, but they're all she's got.
Now...You turn them inside out,
I want you to think about what happens to her.
No, that's on them.
They should have thought about that.
When I was at your abuelita's place,
you were gonna let them go.
Way I see it, that's because you're tough, but you're fair.
You're all about justice.
That's what I'm saying -- justice.
These -- these two shit-for-brains? These big-mouths?
You -- you already beat the living hell out of them.
Do you think they're ever gonna forget today?
Never -- 10 years from now,
They're still gonna be crapping their jockeys.
- It's not enough. - Okay, okay.
Then let's talk proportionality.
They're guilty -- oh, agreed.
Now you have to decide, what's the right sentence?
Ever hear of the Code of Hammurabi --
Let the punishment fit the crime, eye for an eye?
You want me to blind them.
All they did was trash-talk.
So I cut their tongues out!
Wait. See, I'm advising...
that you make the punishment fit the crime.
Punishment fit the crime.
Columbian neckties -- I cut their throats,
and then I pull their lying tongues through the slits!
Or you -- you could give them black eyes.
Black eyes? That ain't nothing.
That one there, homes --
He already got a black eye, fool.
Or you could sprain their ankles.
- Sprain? - They're -- they're skateboarders, right?
That -- that's how they run their scam.
They can't skate.
You -- you hit them where they live.
I ain't spraining nothing, bitch.
I'm gonna break their arms, and I'm gonna break their legs.
Arms? When -- when -- when did we get on to arms?
- Let's... - I'm cutting their legs off.
But -- we could go that way,
but...we were talking about breaking.
I think we're heading in the wrong direction.
Two -- they got two legs.
One leg each, that's a total of two legs.
They can't skateboard for six months,
and they're scared of you forever.
You show everybody that you are the man,
but that you're fair, that you're just.
That's tough, but it's fair.
All right, lay 'em out! I ain't got all day!
好 按住他们 我没一整天闲工夫
It's hotter than shit out here!
Quit moving -- you're only gonna make it worse!
We're sorry! We're sorry!
Hell, yeah! Hell, yeah!
He said he had a broke leg -- now he's got one for real!
You -- tell your mama you're sorry, bitch!
Look -- it's backwards.
I'm gonna do this one real clean.
No! Oh, my god! No!
不 天呐 不
Walk home now, bitch!
Here you go. Here you go. Easy, easy.
来了 来了 慢点 慢点
- You -- you -- you -- aah! Aah! - Save your breath.
-你 疼 疼 -还有力气喊疼
You -- you are -- you are the worst lawyer,
The worst lawyer ever!
Hey, I just talked you down from a death sentence...
- Oh, my god! Oh, my!- To six months' probation.
-天呐 好疼 -只用服六个月的缓刑
I'm the best lawyer ever.
Dude, dude, dude, oh!
Could you, um -- I'll be right back.
Jimmy, did you ground yourself?
I don't think you grounded yourself.
Jimmy, you didn't drive like this, did you?
- No. - I knew it.
You're gonna have to take it black.
We're out of milk?
Why are you in that space blanket?
You brought your cellphone in here last night.
It was in your pants pocket.
Where, uh -- where is it?
Outside -- I threw it out the door.
How did I get here?
Your car's not outside, so I'm assuming taxi.
Uh, the bartender... wouldn't let me drive.
Why are you in that space blanket?
I told you -- you brought your cellphone into my house.
Uh, Chuck, um, did you...
Chuck, did you read this?
Uh, this, um, this bill -- did you read it?
Emergency-room bill -- yeah, I may have glanced at it.
It fell out of your pocket.
Hey, Chuck, listen, I-I know how this looks.
I'm down to my last dime, and, suddenly,
I'm paying for broken legs, but...
It's -- it's not that.
This represents a good thing, ultimately.
I-I'm not backsliding. This isn't Slippin' Jimmy.
Take off the space blanket, will you, please, Chuck?
Take off the space blanket. I didn't do anything wrong.
It has nothing to do with that. It was your phone.
Take off the space blanket.
Take off the space blanket, Chuck.
Come on. Take off the blanket.
Uh, do you have any idea where it landed?
Not to starve to death.
What do you say?
Got something for me?
It's showtime, folks.
I'm gonna kill him.
"Your honor, I'm very sorry. I'll never do it again."
"法官大人 对不起 我再也不敢了"
Your honor, I'm very sorry, and I'll never do it again.
法官大人 对不起 我再也不敢了
Okay, Mr. Pearson, up you go.
好了 皮尔森先生 站起来
Up you go. All right.
I told you a suit, remember?
Told you you want to look sharp.
That's a loaner, okay? I need it back. Let's go.
这可是我借给你的 记得还给我 走吧
- Petty with a prior. - The kid took a slice of pizza.
- Petty with a prior. - Look, the parents are a train wreck.
There's no food in the house! He was hungry!
- Petty with a prior. - Come on!
- You're light on stickers. - Come on.
- $5. - You serious?
You got four. You need five.
There's four 90-minute stickers there.
You've been here 6 hours and 5 minutes.
It takes 10 minutes to walk down here!
$5, or you go get another sticker.
This makes you feel real important, huh?!
Not enough stickers! More stickers!
It's showtime, folks.
Petty with a prior.
Prior will stay on his sheet for life.
Petty with a prior.
You're overcharging him.
Petty with a prior.
That lady up there -- she shorts me every time, okay?
This is not a me problem -- this is a you problem.
What? It's from a movie.
- Petty with a prior. - Misdemeanor shoplifting.
-偷盗且有前科 -入店行窃 轻罪而已
- Petty with a prior. - Come on. Meet me halfway.
-偷盗且有前科 -求你了 让我这一次
- Petty with a prior. - I can't do it.
- Petty with a prior. - Okay, or how about this?
I plead the kid to the sheet,
but you give me a continued sentence.
And in six months, if he's still clean,
You file for a dismissal.
Come on. Is this how you want to spend your time?
You can have the rest of these.
Oh, Mr. Berger, we've met before, haven't we?
Mr. Edison, like the inventor?
I'm James Mcgill.
I'll be your lawyer.
Doesn't matter. Judge has got to see your mother.
Well, do you know anybody who looks like her?
No, an uncle won't do it.
Okay, so, a fire was started.
We all know that.
Freezing, shivering, as she is now.
In fact, wrote a book about it.
...To make some cookies.
But because you... ...Given her this name...
You can see that this man...
Chose...A bonehead move.
Like a troll under a bridge!
"You must have the stickers, or you won't pass!"
Troll alert here -- don't feed it!
Chao chi c'ung, ladies.
Good evening, Mrs. Nguyen.
Hey, Vicki, Maggie.
You have...Zero messages.
- What? - For you -- a customer, waiting now.
-什么 -有顾客找你 正在外面等候
Oh, uh, sure, sure. Uh, give me a minute.
Welcome, welcome. My office is being painted.
请进 请进 我的办公室正在刷漆
Excuse the temporary, uh...Quarters.
Tuco freaked you out, huh?
It's cool. He doesn't know I'm here.
So, uh... What can I do for you?
I've been thinking about what you said
out there in the desert.
Those people that you were trying to scam --
How much did they steal?
Um, north of a million and a half bucks...I think.
So, they have a million and a half bucks somewhere.
Why are you asking me?
I'm gonna rip them off.
I like ripping off thieves
'cause they can't go to the cops -- they have no recourse.
You point me at where they have their cash --
I'll pay you -- a what do you call it? --
A finder's fee -- call it 10%, 100 large.
中介费 付你百分之十 就是十万
Well, uh, why w-- why would you come to me for that?
You already tried ripping them off.
I'm gonna finish what you started.
I-I wasn't trying to rip them off.
I-I just wanted their business.
I don't know where their money is.
Smart guy like you could figure it out.
If I know what I need to know, nobody gets hurt.
We rip them off -- easy money.
Hey, look, I'm a lawyer, not a criminal.
听着 我是个律师 不是罪犯
You are shitting me.
I crossed a line. I made a mistake.
I'm not doing that again, not ever.
I got between you and Tuco.
Do you think you'd be here now -- I kept my mouth shut?
And I appreciate that. I owe you.
A-and if you're ever in trouble, god forbid,
I will be there, 24-7, as a lawyer.
What's your angle?
And I'm not saying anything about this to anybody.
As far as I'm concerned, you're a client.
This is a consultation,
and everything you just told me is privileged.
You rat, you die.
And that, too, yes.
For when you figure out you're in the game.
I'm not in the game.