海绵宝宝第二季双语台词对白剧本

Are you ready, kids?

Kids: Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you.

[ louder]: Aye, aye, Captain!

♪ Oh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪

♪ Absorbent and yellow and porous is he. ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪

♪ If nautical nonsense be something you wish... ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪

♪ Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish. ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants!♪

♪ Ready? SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

[ laughs heartily]

[ plays airy tune][Captioning sponsored by THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

[ go-go music playing on TV]

[ meows]

Gary!

Uh, uh, I was just looking

for the sports channel, Gary.

[ knock on door]

Come in!

Hey, SpongeBob, want to see my new shoes?

Those are great, Patrick!

Let's see what they look like on your feet.

Uh... wouldn't you rather see them on... my hands?

Okay...

And we can wear gloves on our feet

and hats on our captain's quarters, too.

Uh, actually...

I have a confession to make.

I don't know how to tie my shoelaces.

[ laughs]

Do you know how lucky you are

to have a friend like me?

Yes...

Look at this knot.

Have you ever seen a more perfectly executed

shoe-fastening bow?

Gosh... probably not.

I learned when I was just a boy, Patrick

and I'm willing to pass on what I know.

Go sit over there

and let an old pro show you how to do it.

Pay close attention, Patrick.

Well, you start by taking one lace per hand...

and then you...

uh... you got to...

loop the, the...

Are you sure you know how to do it?

Patrick, please, shoe-tying requires peace and quiet.

Okay, where was I?

Your shoes are still untied.

Well, I guess you don't want me to show you how to do it.

I'm sorry! I won't interrupt anymore!

I've got it!

The first rule of shoe-tying is

"always start with your right foot."

Now the lesson will officially begin.

[ laughs nervously]

That's... not right.

[ laughs nervously]

Get it?

Not... right... hmm...

No.

Okay, no more fooling around.

I got it!

[ laughs nervously]

What was that?

Are you okay?

Aren't you late for something?

The poop deck, you're right!

We'll have to do this lesson later!

Bye, SpongeBob!

I can't believe I've forgotten how to tie my own shoes.

They've been tied for as long as I can remember.

Well, I'll remember after a good night's sleep.

[ crickets chirping]

[ rooster crows]

[ snoring]

[ foghorn blows]

Oh...

No big deal.

I'll remember sooner or later.

'Cause I'm ready!

I'm...

read... y.

I'm read... ooh!

I'm read... uh!

I'm read... ooy!

I'm read... doy! I'm read... doy!

I'm read... duh!

I'm read... doy!

I'm read... doy! I'm read... doy!

I'm read... doy! I'm read... duh!

I'm read... doy!

Hi, SpongeBob.

[ gasps] Oh, no!

I can't let Patrick see

I still haven't tied my shoes!

[ loud crashes]

Hey, SpongeBob...

you're shorter.

Have you been dieting?

Well, a sponge has to look his spongiest.

Well, I got to get to work.

[ cracking]

[ grunting]

Oh, barnacles!

Maybe I should just lay here.

Those patties aren't going to

cook themselves, SpongeBob.

He's right!

Got to make Krabby Patties!

Laces or no laces!

[ grunting...]

Ah... I just have to stand in this one spot.

Ta-da! A perfect patty.

All right, SpongeBob, hand it over.

Well?

[ gulps]

[ gasps]

[ grunting...]

Hey, Squidward, I've got an idea.

How about you come get it?

Oh, gee, SpongeBob, that's a great idea.

And maybe I should cook the patties

and do the dishes

and wear square pants

and live in a pineapple

while you wait in the unemployment line!

No!

Then bring that patty here

now!

Okay, Squidward.

Here I come.

I'm coming over.

I'm bringing the patty to you.

Here comes the patty.

No problem.

I'm walking... the Krabby Patty...

over to Squidward.

All right, Squidward.

I'm giving you the patty...

for the hungry customer...

so they can eat it...

when I give it to you...

which is right... now.

Uh, SpongeBob?

I'm over here!

Now move!

Okay, Squidward.

Just slowly move your leg.

Walk over there...

with the... dah!

SpongeBob!

I'm sorry, Squidward.

Sponge... Bob...

I'll just make another... doy!

Sponge...!

Hold it... doy!

Let me just... duh!

Hold it... sorry, Squid.

Sorry... Oh...

[ grunting and gulping]

What's the holdup?

[ loud burp]

I think my heart just stopped.

[ all yelling angrily]

It's Sponge... [ loud burp]... Bob's fault.

SpongeBob's fault... SpongeBob's fault...

[ sniffling]

I failed.

My career is over.

I'm sorry, spatula.

I'm sorry, hat.

I'm sorry, floor.

I am sorry, Krabby Patties.

[ crying]

Let's see, a five-letter word for happiness.

"Money." [ laughs]

This is the worst service we've ever had.

We're going to the Chum Bucket!

Wait!

Don't go!

Oh, yeah, we are definitely out of here.

[ all yelling angrily]

Wait, don't go!

That's me money walking out the door!

What's the meaning of this, Mr. Squidward?

It's SpongeBob's fault.

Arr... SpongeBob, get out here!

More...

All the way, boy!

What be the matter, SpongeBob?

I ought to make you walk the plank for this.

I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs, it's just that I...

I...

Yes?

I... I... I, I, I, I...

Yes, yes, yes?

I, I, I...

Out with it, boy! What is it?

I forgot how to tie my shoes.

[ laughs]

That's all?

So you'll show me how?

I don't wear shoes.

[ gasps]

Could you show me

how to tie my shoes?

Uh, fins?

Could you show me how to tie my shoes?

Well, I would, but, sadly, I am only an eel.

[ panting]

Could any of you show me how to tie my laces?

Could you, you, you, you, you or you show me how to tie a knot?

Could you show me how to tie a simple knot?

[ roars]

Could you show me how to tie my shoes?

Arr... I be just a painting of a head.

Doesn't anybody know how to tie a knot...?!

[ thunder booms]

[ evil laughter]

Did somebody say knot?

I did.

So, you want to tie knots, do ya?

Well, do ya?!

Yes, please, Mr. Flying Dutchman, sir.

Then you've come to the right flying ghost, kid.

You're looking at the first place winner

in the fancy knotting contest for the last 3,000 years!

Hooray!

You're gonna have to not do that.

And stop staring at me with them big old eyes.

Now, stand back and watch me be knotty.

[ laughs]

Behold! The pretzel knot!

Ooh...

The double diamond knot!

The square knot!

The constrictor!

The gut knot!

The pillow knot!

[ snoring]

The butterfly knot.

Ooh...

Wait, there's more!

The monkey chain!

The monkey's fist!

The monkey!

[ hooting]

This one here's a loop knot

otherwise known as the... poop loop.

Poop?

[ laughs]

Those are great, Mr. Flying Dutchman, sir.

Now can you show me how to tie my shoes?

[ laughs]

I don't know how to tie me shoes.

I haven't worn shoes for over 5,000 years!

But sometimes I like to wear this little sock

over me ghostly tail.

[ laughing, thunder booming]

[ groaning]

[ meows]

Not now, Gary.

[ meows]

I'm not in the mood, Gary.

[ meows]

Just leave me and my untied shoes alone, Gary.

[ roars]

Okay, Gary, you have my attention.

[ meows]

[ wet slapping]

[ gasps]

Gary!

Well, I'll be!

You can tie shoes!

Hopping clams!

How did you learn how to do that?

[ music playing]

♪ Want to learn how to tie your shoe? ♪

♪ It's a very easy thing to do ♪

♪ You sit on down and I'll give you the scoop ♪

♪ What's that? ♪

♪ It's called the loop-dee-loop ♪

♪ You got to take a lace in each hand ♪

♪ You go over and under again ♪

♪ You make a loop-dee-loop and pull ♪

♪ and your shoes are looking cool ♪

♪ You go over and back, left to right ♪

♪ Loop-dee-loop and you pull them tight ♪

♪ Like bunny ears or a Christmas bow ♪

♪ Lace 'em up and you're ready to go ♪

♪ You make a loop-dee-loop and pull ♪

♪ and your shoes are looking cool ♪

[ music continues]

♪ You make a loop-dee-loop and pull ♪

♪ and your shoes are looking cool. ♪

NARRATOR: Ah, beautiful springtime.

A time of fun and frolic for most...

but not for this poor slob.

Oh, what a beautiful day.

And here I am

trapped in a prison of high cholesterol.

[ bell dings]

Oh! No one ever comes in on Sunday.

[ bell dings]

Oh! Why can't Mr. Krabs just let us go home?

[ bell dings]

Oh...!

[ dings]

[ giggling]

SpongeBob, stop ringing this bell.

I was just testing it.

I will ring the bell when there's an order.

But...

there's no customers!

There hasn't been one all day and there isn't going to be any!

Ooh...! [ bell dings]

One Krabby Patty coming up!

No... oof!

[ clattering]

That sounds like me money dropping.

What's going on out here?!

My babies!

Get away, barbarian!

What have you done?

Nice clean money... soiled!

I'll take care of you.

Papa clean you up.

Clear the way!

No, no, no, don't cry, little ones.

What's wrong, Mr. Krabs?

Me dime!

Oh...

No...!

I got it, boy.

What the...?

It's stuck!

You got to help me, SpongeBob!

You've got to let go of the dime.

I can think of ten good reasons

to never let go of a dime, boy.

There's got to be another way!

Grab me captain's quarters and heave!

[ both grunting]

[ grunting]

Me arms...!

Oh, no, not again!

[ grunts]

[ clanging and grunting]

[ groans]

[ clink]

[ groans]

Wait...

Squidward...

I'm putting you in charge

of things around here while I'm gone.

You can count on me, sir!

Take care, hurry back.

Get well soon.

You're in our thoughts.

Takes more muscles to frown than to smile.

Okay, SpongeBob, let's get down to business.

My first official act as new manager

is to give you a promotion.

Oh! Really?

You get to run the cash register.

The cash register...?

Wow!

Squidward, who's going to work the grill?

You are-- it's part of the promotion I mentioned earlier.

You'll be wearing two hats now.

You're going to take the orders

then you're going to make them!

Oh...

This is the best day of my life.

Me, too.

But wait, if I'm running the register and the grill

what are you going to do?

I've got some very important

boss-like errands to run.

See you later.

Squidward!

What?

You forgot

to teach me how to use...

the cash register...

You push the button and put the money inside.

Okay, you're on your own.

I can't believe this is really happening.

Today I start living!

Well, Squidward, you've really outdone yourself this time.

A beautiful day of relaxing and pampering... with pay.

Hmm... guess I do feel kind of bad

for poor little SpongeBob

all by his lonesome...

Oh, oh, it will pass.

He's probably just standing at the register

with that stupid grin on his face.

Hey, SpongeBob!

Hey, Patrick!

Hey, SpongeBob

could you give me change for a quarter?

No problem!

Here you go!

Thanks!

I forgot to tell him

how to make change! Oh...!

Sponge...

Bob...

Hmm... Phew.

Hi, Squidward. All done with those errands?

No, I am not.

I just remembered

I needed change for this dollar.

Do you want four quarters

or ten dimes, or 20 nickels, or 100 pennies

or one quarter, three dimes, seven nickels and ten pennies

or, if you give me a five-dollar bill, your options are...

All right! Goodbye.

This is great.

My day off, no worries, just relaxation.

I'm the boss, I deserve this.

Ah...

[ thinking]: Everything will be fine.

There won't be any customers today anyway.

He'll probably just stand there bored.[ chuckles]

SpongeBob, bored.[ chuckles]

Uh... getting kind of bored.

Ah... [ snoring]

Aah, ooh!

[ puffing]

[ gibbering]

Oh, what am I doing?

I am wasting valuable relaxing time, that's what I'm doing!

I mean, really, what are the odds?

SpongeBob setting the Krusty Krab on fire?

[ laughs]

[ siren wailing]

Aah!

[ panting...]

May I help you, sir?

It's me, you dunce!

Oh, hi, Squidward!

How are those errands going?

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm very busy.

I'm sure you are.

I don't like your tone.

[ higher-pitched]: I'm sure you are.

[ normal voice]: How's that?

Just do your jobs!

Aye-aye, Mr. Tentacles.

[ muttering]

Boy, no wonder Mr. Krabs put him in charge.

Must... re... lax!

[ sighs]

Look at yourself.

You're losing your bluish glow.

Stop worrying so much.

Now, repeat after me.

You will not go back to the Krusty Krab.

I will destroy the Krusty Krab!

Aah!

SpongeBob!

Have you finished...?

No!

That's it!

No matter what sick fantasies run through my mind

I will not go back to that restaurant!

[ panting]