While my sister and I are twins,
we've always been different.
By the age of two, I was reading books.
Missy was content to eat them.
By five, I had a healthy appreciation
for a well-organized work space.
My sister, less so.
Which is not to say she doesn't have qualities I admire.
It's just a spider. Calm down.
It's got eight legs and fangs.
I see no reason to be calm.
- Yup. - Are you sure?
The bond between twins is an incredibly close one,
which is why I moved 1,500 miles to California
the first chance I got.
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
♪ 世上没人比我强壮 ♪
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
♪ 昨天我移了一座山 ♪
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
♪ 我相信我能当你的英雄 ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪
- Hello. - You got a minute?
John has something he wants to talk to you about.
I brought you kolaches.
You comin' to me to ask for Connie's hand in marriage?
But if that were to come to pass,
are you authorized to bless the union?
- Tell him. - Okay.
So, some colleagues of mine at the university
are doing a research study on twins.
I told them about Sheldon and his sister,
and they were most intrigued.
Uh, what kind of study?
It's a longitudinal investigation
of environmental and genetic factors
in the development of cognitive and other capacities
in pairs of fraternal and identical twins.
Well, geez, I don't... I don't know
天啊 我不知... 我不知道
if I want some scientists pokin' and proddin' the kids.
Oh, but they wouldn't be poked and prodded.
They just have to, you know, answer some questions.
And maybe some puzzles and tests.
That's not too bad. Where is it?
- Houston. - Oh, it just got bad.
That's... that's a long drive.
It does pay $50 an hour plus gas and expenses.
I told you to start with that.
No. See, Mary, that's the best part--
你听我说 玛丽 最好的地方就是
there's no pokin' and proddin'.
Plus, you know how much Sheldon loves puzzles and tests.
Think about the money.
50 bucks an hour, four or five hours a week.
That-That's more than our mortgage.
But Sheldon's already self-conscious
about being different from other kids.
I worry how this might affect him.
You're being too protective. He's a rock.
Are we raising the same child?
And what about Missy?
Aren't these tests gonna make her feel bad
that she's not as smart as Sheldon?
I'm not as smart as Sheldon.
Doesn't make me feel bad.
And we could put the money aside for their college education.
That's a good point.
It's a great point.
I don't have to tell you, times are changing.
Kids are pitching in.
Like that Webster kid on TV--
he's making buckets of money for his parents.
I suppose we could give it a try.
- There you go. - I'll call Sturgis,
tell him we're in.
Baby, I'm getting a fishing boat.
So, Sheldon, Missy, we got some exciting news.
谢尔顿 米希 我们有个好消息
- Georgie took a bath? - No.
And how come I don't get exciting news?
This isn't about you.
But after dinner, why don't you go rinse off?
Well, a couple of scientists at the college
where Dr. Sturgis teaches are doing
a research study on twins.
They want to meet you guys, ask you some questions.
Oh, boy, a research study.
Will they give us written tests?
- Yeah, I think so. - Oh, boy.
Now, you don't have to do this if you don't want to.
It's purely volunteer.
I don't want to do it.
- Why not? - They probably just want to find out
why you're so smart and I'm just average.
Average? That's a little generous.
Why don't they want to test me?
- Georgie, not now. - 'Cause I'm available.
-小乔治 别闹 -我有空啊
Listen, why don't we just go there this Saturday
and give it a try?
And if you don't like it, we don't have to do it again.
Or they'll love it, and they'll do it till
they're 18, 19 years old.
I already love it.
- My man. - Missy?
I believe there might be
a Dairy Queen on the way there.
Can I get an Oreo Blizzard?
You know what I think?
I think you're smarter than him.
Dr. Thorpe and Dr. Pilson,
here are your research volunteers,
Sheldon and Missy.
So nice to meet you.
Thank you for participating in our study.
Always happy to help advance our understanding of me.
I'm just in it for the Dairy Queen.
Um, if you two wouldn't mind waiting here,
we'd like to start by talking to your mom, dad, and grandma.
Just to get some background information
on the both of you.
Smart. Ask how old I was when I completed potty training.
You won't believe it.
Will you keep an eye on 'em?
Well, I'll try, but if they start running,
you may never see them again.
We are on the clock, right?
Boy, this brings back some memories.
- How come? - Well, when I was your age,
I was also taken to a university to be studied.
Because they thought you were really smart?
Because they thought I was clinically insane.
And it wasn't just me.
Did you know that when Albert Einstein
was a little boy, his parents worried
there was something wrong with him?
Because he couldn't comb his hair?
No, that was a choice he made later in life.
When he was young,
he wanted nothing to do with other children,
and would often have extreme temper tantrums.
He sounds like you.
I know. Isn't it great?
Well, to be perfectly honest,
Sheldon has always avoided children his own age.
Tell 'em about temper tantrums.
They're not temper tantrums,
he just has strong opinions.
Yeah, like when you yell and stomp your feet,
and slam the door off its hinge.
They're scientists. You can't trick 'em.
And, as for Missy, she's just the opposite.
Loves to be around people and other kids.
Makes friends easy.
Does she have temper tantrums as well?
Nope. She's very even-keeled.
Except for when she's eating.
You put your hand near her face when she's working on a lamb chop,
she will bite off a finger.
Our daughter doesn't bite.
Right here, Thanksgiving, 1986.
Was there anything unusual about your pregnancy?
- No, not that I remember. - Really?
-没有啊 完全没任何印象 -是吗
You cried for, like, seven months.
Those were tears of joy.
What about all those times you punched me?
You're not gonna get much out of Fred and Wilma here.
Why don't you just get crackin' on the kids?
Okay, Sheldon, this first battery of tests measures
好的 谢尔顿 这第一套测试题目呢
basic problem-solving abilities.
Is the Kaufman test or the Wechsler Intelligence Scale?
Are you familiar with those?
but I enjoy a little light reading in the bathroom.
Okay. Are you ready?
- Will I be timed? - Yes.
the first thing we're gonna do is test
your problem-solving ability.
- Okay. - You ready?
I just have one question.
Do you always wear your hair up?
Uh, well, usually at work, yes.
I bet it looks cute down.
Is that camera gonna be on?
Can you move it over to that side?
If I've learned one thing from school picture day,
it's that I look better from that side.
Sure, I'll move it.
And bring it a little closer.
- Great. - Okay.
- Whenever you're ready. - Wait.
Do I have any Oreos in my teeth?
- Ready to start? - One last thing.
Did you ever think of wearing that white coat with a belt?
- No. - You should.
'Cause you have a very nice figure,
and it's lost in there.
Hey, check this out.
Did you see Honey, I Shrunk the Kids?
- No. - You should.
'Cause there's a lot of good science stuff in it.
Kudos on the question
"Which train gets to St. Louis first?"
I have to tell you something.
Why don't you finish the test first.
The other doctor's got a crush on you.
I don't... I don't think so.
Let's get back to the test.
Why? What did you see?
When you're not looking, he stares at your tushy.
Imagine if you wore the belt.
That would accentuate her buttocks.
I can't watch. Switch it back to Sheldon.
Hot dog, syllogisms.
If all squares are parallelograms,
and all squares are rectangles,
then some parallelograms are rectangles.
Who was this test made for, children?
I'm bored. Turn it back to Missy.
This question about a train going to "S-T" Louis makes no sense.
It's okay to guess.
Take your time, baby. The meter's running.
慢慢来 宝贝 计费表在跑呢
Well, thank you all very much.
This was a great start.
Thank you. Did you have fun?
I got to take a test on a Saturday, heck yeah!
He's like a young version of me, but without corrective shoes.
Missy, what'd you think?
The tests were just okay,
but I like Sandra.
Well, thank you, Missy. I like you, too.
谢谢你 米希 我也喜欢你
we'll see y'all next Saturday.
Good God, George, have a little dignity.
老天 乔治 你可要点脸吧
Are you doing something different with your hair?
No reason, just looks nice.
Um, uh, what do you think about maybe stopping for a drink after,
to discuss the test results?
- What you watching? - Soul Train.
It's not that kind of train, dummy.
Well that seems like false advertising.
Ooh, you sexy little thing.
I do not like what this study is doing to Sheldon.
What're you talking about? He had a great time.
All the way home all he could talk about
is how that doctor thought he was so smart. It's not healthy.
Would it make you feel any better
if I told you how much money we made today?
- Really? - Cash.
Okay, well, still, I...
I'm not interested in profiting off my children.
You see, honey, that's where you and I are very different.
Sheldon, what do you think
is happening in this picture?
Easy. There are four chimpanzees in a living room.
Okay, but what can you tell me about them?
They're not behaving like chimpanzees.
Chimpanzees don't drink tea.
Well, I suppose it might be coffee,
but they don't drink that either.
Anything interesting about their body language?
I think they found his kryptonite.
what do you think is happening in this picture?
The girl monkey on the couch
is telling the guy monkey a secret.
Must be something juicy, 'cause he's smiling.
It might be dirty,
'cause this girl monkey is sending
the kid monkey out of the room.
He doesn't want to go. He looks sad.
The monkeys on the couch are drinking tea,
so it's a tea party.
Okay, very good. Let's look at another picture.
I'm not done. The monkey in the painting
is wearing an old lady hat,
so she's probably a meemaw monkey.
She's not at the party,
so she must be bowling or dead.
Well, Missy won that round.
It's actually not a contest, George.
This is Texas. Everything's a contest.
A woman in a doorway.
She's holding her head with her hand.
And what do you think that means?
Wouldn't you rather ask me about trains going to St. Louis?
Good gravy, she's sad, Sheldon, come on.
要死了 她很难过 谢尔顿 快回答
Oh, she's very upset.
I don't know why.
Oh! Maybe she wasn't invited
to the tea party at the monkey house.
Also, she's wearing a belt, like you are.
Nice going. Very cute.
And I'm loving the hair.
A lion sitting in a chair, holding a pipe.
But what do you think is on his mind?
How should I know? Maybe he's wondering
why he's posing for a silly picture
instead of eating a gazelle.
What exactly are we doing here?
I thought the purpose of this study
was to find out how smart I am.
That's what we're doing,
but there are different kinds of intelligence.
There's only one kind of intelligence...
George, Sheldon's getting upset.
All right, I'll just change it back to Missy.
You are an insightful young lady.
I don't know what that means, but thank you.
It means perceptive.
You see things most people miss.
My name is Missy-- go figure.
Have you always been that way?
I guess so. I think when you're on your own a lot,
you get good at seeing that kind of stuff.
- Really? - My dad does football with my older brother,
so they're like a team.
And my mom and meemaw spend all their time fussing over Sheldon,
so they're like a team, too.
So no one's on your team?
Hey, what's up with you and Dr. Pillsbury?
I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh. You can't say 'cause we're on camera.
A little late for me to start cooking.
- Why don't we stop somewhere for dinner. - Really?
The five of us? That's kind of pricey.
Would you rather buy a fishing boat?
You're a blabbermouth, you know that?
Missy, we're gonna eat in a restaurant.
Where would you like to go?
Why don't I get to pick?
Because your sister's getting to pick.
It's not just about you in this house.
What do you think, baby?
There goes our per diem.
George, you got a minute?
- What's up? - Not you,
Sheldon told me that we get paid to go to that college
and answer their questions.
I want to know how much we're making.
'Cause I want my fair share.
What do you think your fair share is?
Hm, guess that sounds right.
So how much are we making?
- Really? - Really.
Well, I want half that.
Can we put on Soul Train?
There's a girl on there I kind of want to marry.