Living in a small Texas town,
住在德州的小镇
a few things are guaranteed:
有一些事是一定会有的
someone nearby will have chickens...
比如一定会有养鸡的邻居
- George... - Yeah?
-乔治 -怎么了
Go shoot those chickens.
去把那些鸡给射爆了
Everyone will know your business.
大家都会知道你的私事
You sure you want to eat that?
你确定你要吃那个吗
I heard your triglycerides are through the roof.
我听说你的甘油三酯高到破表啊
My brother plays poker with your doctor.
我兄弟跟你的医生是牌友
But on the brighter side, in a small Texas town,
但住在德州小镇也有好处
people take care of each other.
人们会互相照顾
You know that Veronica Duncan girl?
你记得那个维罗妮卡·邓肯女孩吧
- The one that Georgie likes? - Yeah.
-小乔治喜欢的那个女孩吗 是的
I was thinking about having her stay here for a couple days.
我在考虑让她来我们家住几天
- Is it Georgie's birthday or something? - No.
-小乔治要生日吗 这么大礼 -不是啦
She's just having a rough time at home.
她在家里挺惨的
Her mother's boyfriend has a drinking problem,
她妈妈的男朋友酗酒
and... things have been getting out of hand.
最近情况越来越失控了
You waited till I had a beer to tell me this story, didn't you?
你是故意等到我拿着啤酒才开始说的对吧
You always have a beer.
你什么时候手边没酒了
We're gonna have a houseguest for a couple days.
我们家有客人要来住几天
Oh, not Aunt Ruth.
别又是露丝姑姑
Her beard is very scratchy.
她的胡子很扎人
My sister doesn't have a beard.
我妹妹才没有胡子
It's not Aunt Ruth!
不是露丝姑姑
It's Veronica Duncan.
是维罗妮卡·邓肯
And while she's here,
她来家里做客期间
I expect y'all to be on your best behavior.
我希望你们都有最好的表现
Why are you looking at me?
你为什么要看着我
Yeah, and you still are.
有啊 现在还在看
Where is she going to sleep?
那她要睡哪里啊
She can have my room. I'm fine on the couch.
她可以睡我房间 我不介意去睡沙发
Why is she staying with us?
她为什么要来跟我们住
Because she needs to be out of her house for a few days.
因为她需要离开家里几天
Because her family is dealing with
因为她的家人在处理一些
some personal business.
家庭里的私事
- What personal business? - Well...
-什么样的私事啊 -这个嘛...
I heard her mama's boyfriend is a drunk.
我听说她妈妈的男朋友是个酒鬼
Where did you hear that?
你从哪听说的
Mom told you outside and I heard it.
妈在外面跟你说的时候我听见了
♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
♪ 世上没人比我强壮 ♪
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
♪ 昨天我移了一座山 ♪
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
♪ 我相信我能当你的英雄 ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
♪ 我是个了不起的小家伙 ♪
I plan on it, Richard.
正有此意 理查德
Did you know that word "Hello" wasn't used as a greeting
你知道"哈喽"这个词是直到电话发明后
- until the invention of the telephone? - Hi, John.
-才被用来当问候语的吗 -你好 约翰
To end a phone call,
而要结束电话
it was suggested to say, "That is all."
最初的建议是说"就这些了"
Is that all, John?
就这些吗 约翰
No, I wanted to invite you to dinner tomorrow night.
没 我是想邀请你明晚共进晚餐
Great. Where we going?
很好 我们去哪吃
I can't tell you that. It's a surprise.
我不能告诉你 这是个惊喜
You want to give me a clue so I'll know how to dress?
那你要给我个提示 我好知道怎么打扮吗
Well, dress as if you were going to a Mexican restaurant.
就打扮得像是要去墨西哥餐厅就行了
Oh, we're going to Puerta Roja.
我们要去红门[西语]餐厅啊
I can't tell you that, it would ruin the surprise.
我不能告诉你 会破坏惊喜
John, you do realize that I'll be the one driving us there.
约翰 你知道到时候是我来开车吧
Fine, we're going to Puerta Roja, but everything else
行 去的地方是没错 但其他的细节
One more time! Come on!
再来一次 来吧
Sorry, Axl. You'll be back.
抱歉了 埃克索尔 之后再挂回来
Documenting. This may never happen again.
拍照留念 可能今生再也见不到了
- Don't open it. - But what's in there?
-别打开 -但里面是什么啊
Are you wearing cologne?
你擦了古龙水吗
Georgie, I have the olfactory senses of a polar bear.
小乔治 我的嗅觉堪比北极熊
They can smell a seal through three feet of ice.
它们能闻到一米厚坚冰下的海豹气味
He's exhibiting Zahavian signaling theory.
他在演示信号理论
- Is that from Star Trek? - No, biology.
-这是《星际迷航》的东西吗 -是生物学
He's trying to communicate his more desirable qualities
他在展示值得被人喜爱的优点
in order to attract Veronica.
来赢得维罗妮卡的青睐
Too bad he doesn't have any desirable qualities.
可惜他没有任何值得喜爱的优点
Be the Danza. Be the Danza.
像电视里的丹扎一样帅 像他
- Be the Danza. - What a doofus.
-像丹扎一样 -真是个二货
Thank you for having me, Mrs. Cooper.
谢谢你收留我 库珀太太
- Hi. - Let me take your bag.
-你好啊 -我来帮你提包
- Are you wearing Old Spice? - Don't worry about it.
-你擦了古龙水吗 -别担心
Here, let me show you around.
来 我给你介绍一下
Of course you remember the living room,
你肯定还记得我家客厅吧
where we have our prayer group.
祷告小组活动就是在这里进行的
And this is the dining room. That's where we'll dine.
这里是饭厅 我们就在这里吃饭
But in the mornings, we dine in the kitchen.
但早上的时候 我们会在厨房吃
Of course, if you'd like a snack,
当然啦 如果你想吃零食
that'd be in the refrigerator or the pantry.
零食会在冰箱里或者在食物柜里
- You know, where your snack foods would be. - Sure.
-你懂的 就是正常储存零食的地方 -没问题
Plus, we got those little sheets that smell nice
而且我们家还有那种洗衣片 气味芬芳
and fight static cling.
还能够减少静电
- And here's our entertainment room. - Hey, guys.
-这里是我们的客厅 -你们好啊
We don't have cable, but we do have
我们家没有有线电视 不过也能看到
all three major broadcast networks.
三大广播电视台呢
Here's the bathroom, for hygiene and whatnot.
这里是卫生间 你搞卫生之类的地方
And... here's where you'll be sleeping.
还有... 这里就是你睡觉的地方
- Did I take your room? - Yes,
-我是不是占了你房间 -是啦
but I'll be on the couch.
不过我睡沙发上
Which is right near the TV and the kitchen,
那里靠近电视又靠近厨房
Hello. I'm John Sturgis.
你好 我叫约翰·斯特吉斯
We have a reservation.
我们订了位
Was a reservation really necessary?
你看这里像是需要订位吗
I didn't want to take any chances.
我不想冒任何风险嘛
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
不行不行不行
I sit in that seat.
你坐那张椅子
What's going on?
到底是怎么一回事
Don't you remember?
你不记得吗
John, I don't even remember where I just parked.
约翰 我连我刚才车停哪里都要记不住了
I'm recreating our first date!
我是在重演我们的初次约会
The same restaurant, the same table,
同样的餐厅 同样的桌子
Different eyelashes, though, because
不同眼睫毛 因为呢
they regenerate every two to three months.
它们每两三个月就会长一批新的
Mine are the same, actually.
我的就会一样
I wanted this night to be special
我希望今晚能很特别
because it's the one-year anniversary of that date.
因为这是我们初次约会的一周年纪念日
Is that a thing that people our age celebrate?
我们这年纪的人还有在庆祝那个的吗
No idea. I've never been this age before.
不知道 我还没有这个年纪过
And I've never dated anyone for a whole year.
而且我有一年没跟别人约会了
Happy anniversary.
周年纪念快乐
Sorry for the mess.
抱歉房间那么乱
I emptied out this drawer so you can put your stuff away.
我清空了这个抽屉来让你放东西
Where are your clothes?
那你本来的衣服呢
I threw most of them out.
我把大多数都丢了
You didn't have to do that.
你不需要这么做的
It's okay. They were old and full of holes.
没事啦 反正它们又旧又一堆洞
And it worked out great.
丢了也挺好的
I found some firecrackers and a bag full of my baby teeth.
我因此找到了一些鞭炮 跟一袋我的乳牙
Oh. I also hung a cross over the bed for you.
我还在你的床头帮你挂了十字架
It's just Popsicle sticks and glitter. I glued it together
是我用冰棒棍与亮粉当材料
in Sunday school when I was a kid.
小时候在主日学校时粘的啦
Is-is it too much? I can take it down.
会太过头吗 我可以帮你拿下来
Why are you crying?
你怎么哭了
Did Georgie bring up your unfortunate home life?
小乔治提起了你不愉快的家庭生活吗
Good. My mom said not to,
那就好 我妈妈说别提
so that you would be comfortable.
这样你会感到舒服一点
Are you comfortable?
你舒服吗
And I remember how cute you looked
我还记得你当时看起来有多可爱
in your little pearl snap shirt with your bolo tie.
你的珍珠色衬衫与饰扣式领带
Well, I'd say it wasn't my first rodeo, but it was.
我想说那也不是我第一次了 但真是我第一次
Thank you for a wonderful year.
谢谢你带给我这美好的一年
- To many more. - To many more.
-敬未来无数年 -敬无数年
Which leads me to the final surprise of the evening.
接下来到了我今晚最后的惊喜
- What are you doing? - Hang on, I don't want to spoil the surprise.
-你在干什么 -等等 我不想破坏惊喜
Getting down on one knee, it makes it pretty damn clear.
你都单膝下跪了 这已经明摆着了
Connie, will you do me the honor of being my wife?
康妮 你愿意当我的妻子吗
Oh, John, I don't know.
约翰 我也不知道了
How can you not know? It's a binary decision.
你怎么能不知道 答案只有要或不要
It's more complicated th-than that.
实际上比那复杂多了
I don't see why. We're compatible.
我不懂为什么 我们很合啊
- I know. - We enjoy each other's company.
-我知道 -我们也很享受对方的陪伴
- I know. - And we've become extremely proficient in the bedroom.
-我知道 -而且我们的房事也十分愉悦
There's very little wasted effort.
不费吹灰之力就能"宾主尽欢"
John, sit back down
约翰 给我坐下
and lower your voice.
然后你小声点
- Down is easier than up. - Sure.
-下去比上来容易多了 -行
Thank you, God, for this food we're about to receive,
感谢主 赐予我们桌上的食物
and for the nourishment of our bodies,
为我们的身体提供营养
and bless the hands that prepared it.
也保佑准备这餐点的人
And an extra special thank-you for allowing us
今天还要额外谢谢您
to share our home with our friend Veronica.
让我们能和朋友维罗妮卡同住一家
- Amen. - Oh, yeah.
-阿门 -是的
That's a big amen on that one.
最后这件事要来个大大的阿门
All right, everybody, dig in.
好啦 大家快开动吧
Would you like a dinner roll?
你要餐包吗
I find it really rounds out the meal.
我觉得它十分配我们的晚餐
- Mom? - Yes, honey?
-妈 -怎么啦 宝贝
Do I have to sit downwind of Georgie's cologne?
我一定得坐在小乔治香水的下风处吗
So, Veronica, I understand that you're a junior?
维罗妮卡 所以你是11年级吗
Do you have any plans for after high school?
你对高中毕业后有什么计划了吗
I'm hoping for a scholarship to Baylor
我希望能得到奖学金
so I can get a teaching degree.
去我们德州的贝勒大学攻读教育学位
Really? Kids? Ugh.
真的假的 孩子吗
You're so tall and pretty, you should be Vanna White.
你又高又漂亮 你应该当范纳·怀特[女星]
How can she be Vanna White?
她怎么能成为范纳·怀特
Vanna White is Vanna White.
范纳·怀特才是范纳·怀特[白色]
Fine. She can be Vanna Blue.
行吧 她可以成为范纳·布卢[蓝色]
See? This is the kind of nonsense you have
瞧 身边全是孩子时
to deal with when you're around kids.
你就得听这些胡言乱语
He does have a point.
他说的不无道理
No. I-I love this.
不 我喜欢这样
We never eat dinner together at my house.
我们家从来没有一起吃晚饭
I've already been married once.
我已经结过一次婚了
I wasn't really planning on ever doing it again.
我真的没打算再结一次
I was somebody's wife for a long time.
我做别人老婆做了很长时间
I just like being... Connie Tucker now.
我现在只想做康妮·塔克
somebody else's name.
跟老公的姓
Well, what if I took your name?
如果我跟你姓呢
John Tucker, it sounds great.
约翰·塔克 听起来不错
Like a football player or an astronaut.
像橄榄球员或是太空人
You're missing the point.
你没听明白
I just think it's important for people to know
我觉得让大家知道我们是一对
that we're an official couple.
这很重要
We don't have to be married for that.
不用结婚也可以的
Buy a billboard, take an ad out in the paper.
在广告牌 报纸上打广告
I understand. Thank you.
我懂了 谢谢你
But if I should pre-decease you...
但如果我比你先去世了
I want you to have the ring.
戒指归你
- Fine. - It'll be in the...
-好 -戒指会放在
top right corner of my dresser drawer.
梳妆台抽屉的右上角
- Got it. - Under my tube socks.
-知道了 -在我的筒袜下面
Veronica. Veronica.
维罗妮卡 维罗妮卡
Hey, Sheldon, what's up?
谢尔顿 有什么事
I printed out my bathroom schedule.
我打印出了我使用卫生间的时间表
I can't speak for anyone else in this family,
我不能代表我的家人发言
but you can count on it being occupied
但在这些时间里
during these times.
浴室肯定有人
This is very helpful.
非常有用
Is there anything else?
还有事吗
There is, but... I'm not allowed to ask about it.
有 但我不准问
Oh, it's okay. You can ask me anything.
没事 你什么都能问
Oh, good. I don't like cats,
很好 我不喜欢猫
but I share their curious nature.
但我和它们一样有好奇的天性
What do you want to know?
你想知道什么
Your mom has a boyfriend.
你妈妈有男友吗
Where is your father?
你的父亲呢
Why do you not know?
你为什么不知道
Well, he left when I was really young
我很小的时候他就离开了
and I never heard from him again.
自此再也没有他的消息
And why are you staying here?
你为什么住在这里
My mom's boyfriend isn't very nice.
我妈妈的男友不太好
I understand. My sister isn't very nice.
我明白 我姐姐也不太好
Okay, well, talk to you later.
好的 回头再聊
But not between 7:00 and 7:12.
7点到7点12分之间不行
Yup, I see it right here.
对 我看到了
I make us a pot of tea and we'll get cozy?
我煮一壶茶 我们放松一下
Just make yourself comfy, I-I'll be right back.
请便 我马上回来
Or would you like to go crazy and have a little hibiscus?
还是你想疯狂一下 放点木槿
Hey, can I join you?
我可以一起看吗
Charles in Charge.
《查尔斯当家》
It's kind of like Who's the Boss? But with Chachi.
有点像《谁是老板》 但里面有恰奇
They should have called it Chachi in Charge.
应该叫《恰奇当家》
That's three cha's. I like it.
有三个"查"的音 我喜欢
Georgie, you're so funny.
小乔治 你真搞笑
Not everybody gets me.
不是所有人都懂我
Oh, Mom. If you're sleeping with the man,
妈 如果你和这个男人上床
you should be married to him.
你应该嫁给他
Why do I come here?
我为什么来这里
I got to find a cooler chick to talk to.
我得找个更酷的妹子谈这个问题
You know I'm right.
你知道我是对的
I know no such thing.
我不认为是这样
It's my life, I don't have to do anything
这是我的人生 我不必因为我"应该去做"
'cause I'm "Supposed to."
而去做任何事
I do it because I want to, and right now,
我去做是因为我想那样做 而现在
I don't want to, end of story.
我不想结婚 就是这样
- Good morning. - Can I get you some breakfast, honey?
-早上好 -要我给你做早餐吗 亲爱的
How was your anniversary date with Dr. Sturgis?
你和斯特吉斯博士的周年约会怎么样
You knew about that?
你知道吗
- Yes. - So you knew he was gonna propose?
-是的 -所以你知道他打算求婚吗
Propose? No, that's wonderful.
求婚 不知道啊 那太好了
Although, it's a little disconcerting he didn't tell me.
不过他没告诉我 有点令人不安
I thought we were closer than that.
我以为我们关系好到他会说的
Well, we're not getting married any time soon.
我们短期之内是不会结婚的
You should. You're old; you don't have many years left.
你应该结 你老了 没剩下多少年了
I really need to meet a whole new group of people.
我真的需要重新认识一帮人了
Hey, what you doin'?
你做什么呢
Helping your mom with laundry.
帮你妈妈洗衣服
Oh, yeah. That's usually my job.
是 这通常是我的工作
Uh, maybe when you're done, we can go down to the mall and hang out.
也许你做完后 我们可以去商场一起玩
Oh, I promised your sister I'd take her out for some girl time.
我答应你妹妹要带她出去享受女生时光
Maybe I can come along.
也许我能一起去
Then it wouldn't be girl time.
那就不是女生时光了
No, not entirely, but it would be mostly.
不全算 但大部分是
Take a hint, dummy.
这是暗示 笨蛋
You've reached Dr. John Sturgis.
你已拨通约翰·斯特吉斯博士的电话
Leave a message and I'll be in touch.
留下口信 我会联系你
Thank you very much.
非常感谢
John, I know you're there, pick up.
约翰 我知道你在 接电话
If you don't pick up, I'm gonna get really mad.
如果你不接电话 我会很生气
I'm getting really mad.
我很生气了
Sorry, I know this isn't the most fun thing in the world.
抱歉 我知道这不是全世界最好玩的事
I was happy just riding
能坐在副驾驶位
in the front seat of your car.
我就很开心了
You probably hear this a lot,
你可能听过很多人这样说
but you're, like, princess pretty.
你美得像公主
Oh. I don't know about that.
我不知道
But you are definitely princess material.
但你绝对有做公主的条件
Well, until I'm allowed to wear makeup,
在我能化妆之前
this is as hot as I get.
这就是我最漂亮的样子了
You don't need makeup.
你不需要化妆
I hope you're right. Mom says I have to wait till I'm 16.
希望你是对的 妈妈说我必须等到16岁
That'll get here sooner than you think.
那一天的到来会比你想象中更快
Sure doesn't feel like it.
我可没有这种感觉
- I'd rather be your age again. - Really?
-我宁愿像你这么大 -真的吗
Being a grown-up is, uh...
做成年人
Maybe, if we make a wish at the same time
也许如果我们同时许愿
we could switch places.
我们能互换身体
- You think? - It's worth a try.
-你觉得可以吗 -值得一试
What do we need to do?
我们要怎么做
We close our eyes and at the exact same time say,
我们闭上眼睛一起说
"I wish I could switch places."
"我希望可以交换身体"
One... two... three.
一 二 三
- I wish I could switch places. -I wish I could switch places.
-我希望可以交换身体 -我希望可以交换身体
I'm still here. You?
我还是我 你呢
- Same. - That's too bad.
-一样 -太遗憾了
I really wanted to drive home.
我很想开车回家呢
- Can I anyway? - Sure.
-我能开吗 -好
Please, can we keep her?
求你了 我们能留下她吗
No, we cannot keep her.
不 我们不能留下她
We don't have a dog 'cause of Sheldon,
因为谢尔顿我们不能养狗
why can't I have Veronica?
又是什么原因不能留下维罗妮卡
I'm not participating in this conversation.
我才不要跟你聊这件事
We could give Sheldon to Veronica's mom.
我们可以把谢尔顿给维罗妮卡的妈妈
I'll get it, Mrs. Cooper.
我去开门 库珀太太
Look how helpful she is. Come on!
看她多会帮忙 拜托
Grab your stuff, your mama wants you home.
收拾东西 你妈要你回家
Yeah, well, when she wants me to come home,
她要我回家时
Damn it, Veronica.
靠 维罗妮卡
I'm in no mood.
我可没这心情陪你闹
I'm taking her home.
我来接她回家
She's not going anywhere with you.
她不会跟你走的
- What'd you say? - Clint, stop.
-你说什么 -克林特 住手
You mind putting down my kid?
你能放开我的孩子吗
We were just playing around.
我们只是闹着玩
This is my mom's boyfriend, Clint.
这是我妈妈的男友 克林特
Hello, Clint. What can we do for you?
你好 克林特 有什么能效劳
I'm here to pick up Veronica.
我来接维罗妮卡
You want to go with this man?
你想和这个男人走吗
Thanks for stopping by.
谢谢你来
You really want to mess with me?
你真的想和我作对
What's going on out there?
外面出什么事了
- You might want to call the police. - Why?
-你最好报警 -为什么
There's a bum sleeping on our front porch.
有个流浪汉在我们家门廊上睡着了
Connie Tucker is proud to announce
康妮·塔克骄傲地宣布
that she is sweet on Dr. John Strugis
她爱上了约翰·斯特吉斯博士
and they are officially a romantic couple.
他们正式在谈恋爱
I'm back in business.
我重返情场了