Son, did you do your homework?
I don't wanna do my homework!
I want Chicken 4 Dayz!
♪ Oh, it's Chicken 4 Dayz! ♪
♪ It's Chicken 4 Dayz! ♪
♪ Everybody's having fun At Chicken 4 Dayz! ♪
- I got a drumstick! - I got a arm.
I got a bucket full of mystery stuff!
♪ Chicken-4-Dayzy, totally crazy! ♪
♪ Don't ask questions, just keep eating! ♪
Over at Chicken 4 Dayz,
they pump their chickens full of hormones
and keep them cooped up in tiny cages.
Now, as a chicken, this concerns me.
Here at Gentle Farms, we treat our livestock differently.
Lush fields, plenty of dignity,
The chickens here have wonderful lives
before we harvest them, so you can eat them.
But wait, Pa, aren't we chickens?
I don't wanna get eaten!
Boy, these animals aren't like us.
They're specifically bred to be eaten,
and genetically modified for maximum flavor.
When our chicks first hatch, we lovingly inject them
with natural delicious hormones,
which makes them meat, thereby erasing any moral gray area!
Now you can feel good about eating our meat.
It's simple: No one knows chicken like chickens.
Why did they put the "Skip Ad" Button so late?
I'm not skipping the ad now. I'm invested.
BoJack, you're driving a car right now.
Kelsey, ray of sunshine.
And who's this little drop of Jupiter?
- This is my daughter, Irving. - Your daughter's name is Irving?
Gender-normative names are oppressive.
Well, aren't you a little princess?
What are you doing outside of the castle?
Mom, your friend is being weird.
BoJack is not my friend.
Diane, I need you to handle Irving.
- Handle her? - It's Take Your Daughter To Work Day.
I took my daughter to work, she got empowered,
and now I need you to take my daughter away from work,
so I can actually do some.
Mom, don't pawn me off onto your assistant.
Can you not fight me on this, please?
Take my car and my daughter, and go do whatever it is you do.
开我的车 带上我女儿 想干嘛干嘛去吧
Way to delegate, captain! Down low!
这安排好啊 老大 来交流一下
Nope? Look down. Just put your eyes down.
不吗 往下看 眼睛往下转一下啦
My hand is below your eye line. No?
I guess you're stuck with me, kiddo.
Sounds great, old-woman-o.
What is it, BoJack? I'm at my dumb niece's wedding.
干嘛 波杰克 我在参加我傻外甥女的婚礼呢
Not you, honey! I'm talking about a different dumb niece.
I feel like Kelsey doesn't like me.
You're not really the kind of person people like.
- Right away? - Uh, sure.
But once they get to know me, they adore me?
How do I put this delicately? No.
The problem is we haven't gotten any one-on-one time.
There are always other people around.
Filming me. Feeding me.
Walking me to the garage at night,
because one time I saw a bag in the wind and I got spooked.
BoJack, the only reason you want Kelsey to like you
is because she's cold and distant.
Any time someone tries to love you, you shove them away.
What? No, I don't, stupid. You're stupid.
什么 才不是 傻瓜 你傻啊
Don't be such a dumb stupid idiot, Todd.
Okay, I gotta go. Everyone's staring at me for some reason.
What? I'm ready. Let's take a picture.
干嘛 我准备好了 照相啊
I call this meeting of P.B. Livin' to order.
I believe it was Benjamin Franklin who said:
"You have reached the end of your free trial membership
- What a wise man. - What's on the agenda, my frienda?
-太有智慧了 -议事日程都有什么 我的朋友
Well, here's an idea.
What if there was a West Dakota?
Todd, isn't that a job for the State Department?
Well, I got a whole page of other ideas,
each as impractical as they are prohibitively expensive.
You know what they say:
"You gotta spend money to make money."
So, how can I spend a lot of money?
I know. I'll take a spa day.
Eyes, prepare to receive cucumbers.
- We're in a meeting. - You know what they say:
"You gotta skip meetings to have meetings." See ya.
- Wait, what should I do? - I don't know.
-等等 那我该干啥 -我不知道
You know, whatever you do when everyone is busy with other stuff.
Princess Carolyn, I need something to do.
A job, or a task, or a direction in life...
工作 任务 或者是人生方向
You're my agent. Can you give my life meaning?
I don't have time for this.
Well, don't stop on my account.
Princess Carolyn, do I have a purpose?
Oh, purpose? Are you high?
Only the normal amount.
I gotta go. They're about to step on the glass.
Just stay out of trouble.
What I want is a hard target search
of every gas station, backyard, outhouse, pool house...
每一个加油站 后院 屋外厕所 台球厅
And can I get a black-and-white cookie,
if it's not too G.D. Troublesome?
So, we know the chicken crossed the road.
But the real mystery is why?
So, Irving, what do you want to be when you grow up?
First I'm gonna go to Brown,
then I'm gonna go to Yale Law.
Then I'm gonna be the youngest ever Supreme Court Justice.
- That's great. - Or, you know, something in marketing.
Would you mind if we stopped by my house?
I have to do laundry.
So, you just, like, do laundry? That's, like, your thing?
Okay. This whole attitude you're putting on?
I must be Shania Twain,
because that don't impress me much.
Is that a reference from the '90s?
You know that was 20 years ago, right?
Hey, I was just like you when I was a teenager.
I was this badass overachiever
that had these big plans to change the world.
Yeah? What happened?
Oh, you didn't hear? I changed the world.
Did you have a nice shower?
I made you a sandwich. Oh, but it has turkey in it.
Is that kind of weird?
What seems to be the problem, officer...?
Fuzzyface. Meow Meow Fuzzyface.
A Chicken 4 Dayz chicken fell off a truck,
and I gotta find her and take her to the slaughterhouse.
You haven't seen any chickens running around?
- Who's this? - Uh, this is my, uh-- My wife--
-这是谁 -这是 我 我老婆
- Becca! - Yeah, my wife Becca.
-贝卡 -对 我老婆贝卡
- Becca Chavez. There she is. - Okay.
Yep, she loves her books.
Back off? Okay, I'm sorry, honey.
起开吗 好吧 抱歉 亲爱的
Hold on, if you're really a nerd,
who's your favorite Baroque composer?
Bach? Not Vivaldi? You're insane!
巴赫吗 竟然不是维瓦尔第 你疯啦
Yes, I am holding a Bic pen,
but I don't see how that's relevant, Mrs. Chavez.
She's a charming woman.
I do have to look around a little bit,
just so I can say I did my job.
- Uh, don't you need a warrant? - Only if you're guilty.
Well, in that case, mi casa es su casa.
So, if anyone asks, you were born in La Jolla.
You majored in Communications at USC,
and now you're the booking agent for Kings of Leon.
- Fine, you also book Beck. - Todd?
-好吧 你也给贝克做事 -陶德
Aah! I didn't find that thing in your drawer!
Why are the police outside?
Okay. I met this chicken
and she escaped from Chicken 4 Dayz factory,
and she doesn't speak English,
but she's my best friend and the cops are looking for her,
and Mr. Peanutbutter went to the spa,
and I love her, and her name is Becca.
- Todd, breathe. - But we can't send Becca back.
-陶德 喘口气 -我们不能把贝卡送回去
They're gonna pump her full of hormones.
I have a plan, but we gotta get her out of here now.
Todd, no. Becca doesn't belong to you.
陶德 不 贝卡不属于你
But she needs our help.
Do you know how much trouble we'd get in?
There's a policeman in our front yard.
Uh-oh, here comes the responsible suburban housewife.
Gonna do whatever the man says.
You're right. Let's get out of here.
So, now you're just gonna do whatever a teenage girl says?
Jeezy kableezy, grow a spine.
Yeah, or a backbone.
Here chicken, chicken, chicken.
Well, we're off to the beach.
Just me and my wife, and our teenage daughter and our maid.
- What? Why am I a maid? - Silence, maid!
-什么 我怎么成了女仆了 -闭嘴 女仆
Honey, do you want to sit in the front or the back?
And why not? Maid, you can drive.
好呀 女仆 你来开车
Hope there's not too much traffic on the 134.
Okay, bye-bye, officer.
So long. Have a great day.
Wait a second. The 134 doesn't go to the beach.
Unless you took it to the 10.
But then why wouldn't you take the 405 to the 10?
Hold on, this pen isn't a Bic.
No, no, this doesn't add up at all.
Wait! That man's wife was a...
Fowl run afoul. A funky chicken has flown the coop,
and for a concerned populace, the sky is falling.
Michael Morgan, Chicken 4 Dayz CEO,
this is a public safety hazard, and your company is responsible.
Admit it, you counted your chickens before they hatched,
and now, those chickens have come home to roost.
Tom, I want to take full responsibility for this mishap.
That's why, for a limited time, everybody,
we are offering our special Full Responsibility Poppers
at participating restaurants for only $4.99.
Tell me, though, if one sees
this delicious escaped chicken in the street,
should they approach it, or--?
Oh, no. I want to be very clear
that this is not like a friend chicken
you see at school or work.
This is a special kind of food chicken
that has lived its entire life indoors.
This chicken is not socialized for the outside world.
Sounds like my ex-wife.
Look, the safest place for this chicken right now is with us,
so we can kill it, turn it into a sludge,
and then press that sludge into a delicious patty.
I'd like to take this moment to apologize
for the earlier crack about my ex-wife.
Shannon, we shared 14 beautiful years together.
How do you respond to allegations
that factory farming is "Torture," or "Cruel,"
or "Like a terrifying movie about some strange dystopian society,
but in this monster story, the horrifying monsters are us"?
everything we do is completely legal and FDA-approved,
so, therefore, it is fine.
I have no follow-up questions.
- Okay, Todd, what's your plan? - What?
-陶德 你准备怎么办 -什么
You said you had a plan.
Oh, yeah. My plan was: Ask Diane for help.
对哦 我的计划是 找戴安帮忙
And now my plan has been completed.
Nice follow-through, Todd.
We have a 'roided out chicken
and the cops on the lookout. What do we do?
Hey, geniuses, why don't we take her to Gentle Farms?
Yeah, no one knows chicken like chickens!
They couldn't say that in the ad if it wasn't true.
Yeah! Book Beck. You remember.
对 给贝克做事 你还记得
- And cut! Company move to-- - Great news, blue-collar types.
-停 大家... -好消息 蓝领群众们
Instead of crew lunch today, your star has arranged
for his favorite burrito truck to bring you lunch.
It's me, I'm that star!
BoJack, we're not breaking for lunch yet.
Or we could break for lunch,
and you and I could get to know each other.
The crew has more work to do.
Once they've had a burrito,
they'll be off their circadian rhythm--
- What? - Los Angeles P.D.
Are you the owner of a 2002 Volvo
with a "Reelect Al Gore" bumper sticker?
As relevant today as it was then.
Are you aware said Volvo
is currently harboring a fugitive chicken,
along with a teenage girl, a small, sprite-like man,
and a maid of some sort?
That's my daughter! Not the maid. The other one.
那是我的女儿 不是说那个女仆 是另一个
I'd wager they're making a run for Gentle Farms.
Don't worry, though.
We'll bring your daughter home, dead or alive.
- Alive! Alive! - We're the L.A.P.D., ma'am.
-要活的 活的 -我们是洛杉矶警局 女士
- We'll probably make the right call. - Wait, wait, wait--
All right, troops, listen up!
好了 各位 听好了
I'm ready to go after these rabble-rousers with all--
Oh, no! Not until you get a warrant!
Ah, damn it, I hate due process!
You're a loose cannon, Meow Meow Fuzzyface.
No, I'm not. I'm a cannon, maybe, but a loose cannon?
我才不是 也许算得上野马 脱缰就算了吧
Is that what you guys think of me?
I think you play by your own rules.
No way, he thinks rules were made to be broken.
These are all attributes of a loose cannon.
No, I'm just a reckless renegade.
Sergeant Stone's a loose cannon.
You shut your trap, Fuzzyface.
I'd say Stone's more of a cop on the edge with nothing to lose.
- That's a entirely different thing. - Now I'm just confused.
Is Meow Meow Fuzzyface a loose cannon or not?
All right, put on a pot of coffee.
We're gonna get to the bottom of this.
So full of burrito. Ooh.
Uh-oh, siesta time.
I need to go. Irving ran off with a fugitive chicken in my car.
We can take my car. This is perfect.
Why is this perfect? My daughter could be in danger.
Yes, I agree, but we can use the car ride to get some one-on-one.
I mean, who is BoJack?
I'm sure I can find another ride.
Every second you waste finding another ride,
your daughter gets another second closer to
getting her eyes poked out by a mutant chicken,
or worse, death, or slightly better, teen pregnancy,
或者更糟 捅死 或者稍微好一点 少年怀孕
or worse again, salmonella.
Okay, fine. Let's go.
Yay! I'm calling this road trip the 007,
because we are gonna bond.
Up top? Down low? Either one? Both?
你要在上面 还是下面 随便 都可以
Oh, wow, you guys have a movie night here?
And we have 20 acres of pasture,
where our chickens have hours of free play.
See, Todd? She'll be happy here.
你看 陶德 她在这会很开心
Because no one knows chicken like chickens.
Thank you for saving this
poultry from a terrible life at a factory farm.
But what if Chicken 4 Dayz tries to get her back?
Don't you worry about your friend.
That chicken belongs to us now.
- Where'd you get that gun? - You mean originally, or just now?
- Just now. - It was in that barrel.
- And what about originally? - Also that barrel.
Look, Becca, I know this is hard to understand,
but I have to go, and you can't come with me.
No, no, you don't need to book Beck anymore.
Now you can just be a chicken.
See, this is where you belong, okay?
You hear me? I don't want you no more.
You weren't the best friend I ever had,
and I never loved you! Now get, Becca!
我也不会再爱你 现在就走 贝卡
She really stretched out that dress.
She was so horrified, she checked into rehab.
So, I'm kind of the reason Drew Barrymore got sober.
Did you like Never Been Kissed?
If so, you're welcome.
Can we have one conversation that isn't about you?
I don't understand why you need me to like you so much.
I don't need you to like me. It would be fun if you liked me,
because then I can prove to myself
my parents were wrong to never support me,
because I now earned the admiration of a certain authority figure,
that's proving I have intrinsic worth,
but it's not a big deal or anything. Jeez.
Great story. You should put that in a podcast,
so I can unsubscribe.
Can this piece of junk go any faster?
It's been screwy since I hit that deer a couple weeks back.
Probably should get it checked out.
Probably should've gotten it checked out.
- Those farmers seem nice. - Yeah.
I think Becca will be really happy there.
She'll have a nice life.
Yeah, until they kill her.
Well, yeah, but of all the places that will eventually kill her,
Gentle Farms seems like the best.
This doesn't feel right.
Becca was our friend.
- No. We gotta get her back. - Uh, what do you mean?
-不行 我们要把她带回来 -什么意思
Remember when that guy cocked his gun and said:
"That chicken belongs to us now"?
He wasn't doing that because he likes cocking guns.
Then we'll just bust her out.
Todd, there's nothing we can do.
Where else would Becca go?
She doesn't even speak English.
Well, I mean, we gotta do something.
Look, I know I'm just a screw-up and all my ideas are terrible,
but with Becca, I was responsible for something.
I had a purpose.
I guess you wouldn't understand.
Oh, my God, Diane!
All right. Let's bust her out.
Yes! Okay, and afterwards, will you get me an iPad?
- What? No. - But I really want an iPad.
-什么 没门 -但我真想要iPad
Maybe you wouldn't understand.
All right, all right, we've agreed.
He's a loose cannon, but he gets results.
- I can live with that. - Now, you go bust those perps.
You'll need a maverick, a by-the-book rookie,
and a curmudgeonly veteran one week from retirement.
We have received word
that authorities are now en route to Gentle Farms
in an attempt to preempt the pursued poultry at the pass.
Do we have a graphic for this? No? Where's the graphic?
No, I'm not gonna go on until we have a graphic.
So, make one. I'll wait. Yeah, hold on, America,
那就现做 我等着 全国观众稍等
Randy's gotta figure out how to do his job.
Because if I don't have a graphic, Randy,
people who are just tuning in--
Why am I explaining this to you?
This is basic journalistic--
I swear to God! We'll be right back!
Just got to place the jack in the right jack apparatus.
No. Just kidding, I have no idea what I'm doing.
That was me acting. Pretty convincing performance, huh?
There's more to me--
Are you capable of experiencing a single moment
that you don't then make about you?
What was your plan to get out of here?
I don't know. Some hick will come by at some point,
and I'll give him an autograph in exchange for a tow.
Boom, his life's changed, and you and I are on our way.
Oh, my God. I'm going to lose custody of my daughter.
The only reason I took this movie is for her.
This is my one shot at a big studio movie.
If I blow it, I'm back to making small,
critically acclaimed movies
about lesbians learning how to recycle.
You think I want to be an indie darling?
Who's gonna fund Irving's education?
Marla? With her seasonal nut butters?
Yeah, Marla sucks, right?
Indie-darling daughters don't go to Brown, okay?
cute pat-on-the-back factories like Vassar,
then move back in with their indie-darling mothers
and make puppet shows with their tampons,
and they get a profile in New York Magazine,
and the horrible cycle continues.
Oh, my God, I'm a terrible mother.
Hey, I know terrible mothers,
and you're not a terrible mother.
Hey, aren't you the horse from Horsin' Around?
And you're the director
of Women Who Love Women Who Love Recycling.
Give you a lift in exchange for a couple autographs.
There he is. Right on time.
Everyone keep quiet. We gotta--
They probably didn't hear that.
Uh, that's probably a coincidence.
Someone broke onto the farm!
Maybe they're rehearsing a one-act play
called Someone Broke Onto the Farm
and someone just said the titular line?
Irving, this isn't safe.
Get in the car, lock the doors.
Don't try to be a badass and argue with me--
- Yeah, okay, bye! - Okay.
-好 我去了 -好
Who's making that ruckus in my chicken coop?
- Becca, where are you? - Becca, are you...?
-贝卡 你在哪里 -贝卡 你...
Oh, I found her! Diane! This one's Becca!
找到了 戴安 这个是贝卡
No! Todd! Don't you get it?
不 陶德 你还不明白吗
- They're all Becca. - Oh.
Okay, go, chickens! You're free.
Go, run to freedom!
For generations they will tell your story!
- Who goes there? - Oh, oh, oh, shit!
- We gotta hide! - Go, go, go!
Hide, hide! In here! Someplace safe.
Come on, come on. Oh, no!
- Becca, no, no, no! - Shh.
-贝卡 不要吵 -嘘
Only we know how to care for these creatures, you hear?
Like I say: No one knows chicken like chickens.
Diane, I'm sorry I got you into this.
It's not your fault.
I don't know why I always get into these messes.
You know, sometimes I feel like my whole life
is just a series of loosely-related wacky misadventures.
I think that's just what being in your 20s is.
- Really? - Yeah.
I'm supposed to be the adult here, and I'm a total mess.
You kidding? You're the coolest person I know.
- Really? - Yeah. You always know what to do,
-真的吗 -是啊 你总是知道该做什么
and you don't take shit from anyone.
Is that how you see me?
Of course. You're like Lara Croft.
- This is our chance. Let's go! - Come on! Go, go, go!
-我们的机会来了 走 -快走 快快
Please. Take me with you.
I hate it here. I don't want to kill chickens.
I want to design video games that help kids learn math.
Okay, that was crazy! Just go.
Let's get out of here!
We're free, we're free! Oh, shit.
我们自由了 自由了 糟了
Well, well, looks like birds of a feather...
Why was he wearing sunglasses at night?
I hope you folks like community service.
- I do. - What? Oh.
Oh, my God, Irving, thank God you're safe.
天哪 艾文 谢天谢地你还安全
Stop embarrassing me in front of my cool friends.
I mean, that's cool that you think I'm cool.
I don't care or anything, but, you know, it's cool.
Hey, this guy. What'd you get arrested for?
I want to be in his cell.
Listen up, everybody.
I, famous celebrity BoJack Horseman, have an announcement.
I'm gona have to ask you to drop all charges against my friends
on account of me being a celebrity.
We gracefully accept the requisite slap on the wrist
and a brief, but ultimately pointless, trial
in the court of public opinion. Good day.
Well, you are famous, so you are all free to go.
- But what about Becca? - Took care of that, too.
Called in a favor with Drew Barrymore,
and she'll pay off Chicken 4 Dayz to adopt your friend.
Does she have a meadow that Becca can frolic around in?
You think Drew Barrymore doesn't have a frolicking meadow?
That is the dumbest thing I've heard.
You know, I learned something today.
Sometimes when you think something isn't about you,
you find a way to save the day and in the end realize that it was,
all along, all about you.
Plus, I got you all a burrito truck!
- Hooray! - Yay! I'm great!
-万岁 -没错 我好棒
So, after all that, the only thing that saved Becca
was that BoJack was friends with Drew Barrymore?
- Yep. - So, did anything we did matter?
- Nope. - I think it did.
I think we made a difference.
A small one, but a difference.
Yeah, I think we did, too.
I think we really changed things for the better.