Thank you, Billy Crystal, for that impression of a black person.
- I'm Scott Wolf. - And I'm Matthew Fox.
We may be a group of five on TV,
but any of these next nominees would be welcome
to join our party any day.
The nominees for Male Animal in a Comedy,
Drama or Variety Show are:
BoJack Horseman, Horsin' Around.
Now that's what I call horsin' around.
Mr. Peanutbutter, Mr. Peanutbutter's House.
Now that's what I call doggin' around.
And finally, my personal favorite,
Hank Hippopopalous, Hank After Dark!
Oh, boy, get it off, get it off.
天啊 把它弄下去 把它弄下去
And the animals' choice is...
Hank Hippopopalous, Hank After Dark!
No, no, no, no. It's because we're on a show
called Party of Five. Get it?
Hey, buddy, pass me that bottle of vodka?
That's not really how this works.
It's open bar, don't be a dick.
- BoJack Horseman? - Do I know you?
This is my better half, Katrina Peanutbutter.
- Katrina, BoJack. - I don't watch TV.
-卡特里娜 这位是波杰克 -我不看电视
Can I get another drink now
or will that quote, unquote "Embarrass" you?
- Uh, uh, no, I would never be-- - Erica!
-怎么会 我才不会 -艾瑞卡
Throw me a raft. I'm dying.
My friends told me to get a prenup,
but I was like, "Hey, marriage lasts forever."
Listen, I'm doing my own thing here.
Can you believe two guys like us
were even in the same category as Hank Hippopopalous?
That's Uncle Hanky.
Listen, Peanutbottle, there is no "Guys like us."
I'm BoJack Horseman.
You're just some other guy I'll probably never talk to again.
Hey, boys. What is this, a crossover episode?
嗨 你们干嘛呢 搞剧集联动吗
That is the funniest thing I have ever heard.
Uncle Hanky. Sir, I am your biggest fan.
I used to watch Hank Hippopopalous's Dance-Pop Cosmopolis
every day after school.
- Hey, can I get a picture with you? - Of course, kid.
-我能和你合张影吗 -当然了 孩子
Here, let me advance this. And we probably got it.
And we'll find out in four to six weeks.
Yeah, I can't wait.
Okay, I gotta go. My wife's hand just disappeared
into that busboy's pants.
Treasure? Sweetheart? We're in public.
宝贝 亲爱的 这可是公众场所啊
Don't beat yourself up too bad.
I've seen your show. You're really funny.
- Yeah? - Yeah. But I'm Uncle Hanky.
-是吗 -是啊 可我是汉克叔叔
You can't beat Uncle Hanky.
That's just the way it is.
This suit needs more flasks.
翻译：杨爱菜 阿飘 不高兴童鞋 milkon 圈圈
Will you bring me one of those big Toblerone bars?
Well, sure. But, you know,
I won't be out there for another month.
Yes, I know, but I always forget to write these things down.
Tell me, how's your little movie?
Actually one of the stars just died. It's really sad.
Oh, really? One person died? Just one?
真的吗 死了一个人 才死了一个
Yeah, well, that's a real tragedy. Meanwhile, Diane,
真是悲剧啊 不过与此同时 戴安
here in Cordovia, I'm stitching children's arms back on.
Oh, that's backwards, isn't it?
Are you giving me a thumb's up or a thumb's down? I can't tell.
Well, now the production's on hiatus
so BoJack and I are going on a book tour
to promote the new paperback edition of One Trick Pony.
Please get here soon, Diane.
The people of Cordovia need you and I need that Toblerone.
Okay, listen, you big dummy.
好了 听着 你个大蠢货
You need to be on your best behavior for this tour.
Don't do that BoJack thing where you go off-script
and get a lot of people mad at you.
What? I don't do that.
You're a movie star now.
Any bad press you get can hurt Secretariat.
Now boarding, Flight 422 to Juneau.
Please. We're going to Alaska.
How am I gonna offend a bunch of inbred Eskimo blubber-munchers?
You're right. What was I thinking?
The Republic of Cordovia's Prince Gustav
visiting Los Angeles this week
while his country rests on the brink of civil war.
Prince Gustav is a ruthless despot,
but I'd still rather share a bed with him than my ex-wife.
Shannon, I didn't mean that.
Listen. With Hey, I Think You Can Dance as a lead-in,
听着 随着"嘿 我觉得你能跳舞"愈加火爆
we are expecting big things for Hollywoo Stars and Celebrities:
What Do They Know? Do They Know Things? Let's Find Out,
or H.S.A.C.W.D.T.K.D.T.K.T.L.F.O. for short.
Why don't we get Hank in here?
You guys can get some pictures together.
Hank is coming here?
That old guy from Hey, I Think You Can Dance?
- What's the big deal? - You don't understand.
When I was a kid, this guy was the guy.
I even bought his novelty rap album,
The Hank Hippopopalous Hip-Hop Hypothesis.
You shouldn't meet your hero on an empty stomach.
- You want me to go get you some chili? - Good call.
Chili is nature's chillaxative.
Hiya, folks! Howdy!
嘿呀 各位 你好啊
- Hank Hippopopalous. - Oh, we've met.
Oh, oh, yeah. I remember that.
Okay, so, I thought for the ad,
you guys could stand back to back.
And then on the billboard it'll say:
"Hank and Mr. Peanutbutter are back to back. Thursdays on MBN."
So, what should I do with my arms? Like akimbo?
- You're fine. - Reverse akimbo?
- No, that-- - King Tut? Mashed Potato? Windmill?
-不 那 -图特王 土豆泥 风车
Uh-oh, I'm windmilling. Got a momentum going.
Can't stop windmilling now.
Why don't we just do what feels natural?
Guys like us? We're pros.
You think I'm a guy like us?
Oh, this is the happiest moment of my life.
Excuse me, would you get a picture of us?
Yeah, that's kind of the idea.
Now we open the floor to questions from the audience.
BoJack, your book talked a lot about
how much you love apple fritters.
Yeah, thanks for that, Diane.
是的 谢谢你 戴安
So, my question is:
Do you think Israel has a right to defend herself?
And what part should the U.S. play as an ally?
Well, the thing about that...
Uh... It's a shame that
Arafat walked away from the table in 2000.
I mean, obviously there's no panacea, but a two-state solution
with an emphasis on human rights feels like a place to begin.
- Brilliant insight. - Very good.
- My question is for Diane Nyu-- Nyu-- - Oh.
-我想请问戴安·纽 纽 -我啊
- Nyu-- - You won't get it. Just ask the question.
-纽 -别说了 直接问吧
Your book went to some dark-revealing places.
Were you worried at all that it would hurt BoJack or his career?
That's a great question.
I'd also like to know the answer to that, Diane.
Well, I think the truth is worth pursuing, no matter what.
BoJack's not perfect. There are plenty of other celebrities
who have done much worse things and it hasn't hurt their careers.
- Like who? - I don't know, like Mike Tyson
-比如呢 -我不知道 比如迈克·泰森
or... Sean Penn, or Josh Brolin,
or Christian Slater, Woody Allen,
Hank Hippopopalous, Bill Murray...
Wait, wait, what about Hank Hippopopalous?
Well, all of his former assistants
have made the same allegations.
- I feel like we're getting off track. - Do you really not know that?
Any questions about me, the handsome, famous horse with a book?
What do you have against Uncle Hanky?
I'm not saying anything that isn't already on the public record.
You can just Google "Hank Hippopopalous allegations" that I--
Oh, you don't have to Google it right now.
Stanky Hanky? Allegations vile and ranky.
But first, the visiting Cordovian Prince Gustav
went missing briefly this afternoon,
but he was quickly found buying chili in Beverly Hills.
His official statement was,
"Uh, yeah, I'm the Prince of Cordovia.
Hooray, being a prince."
Our main story, ominous and anomalous accusations
against Hank Hippopopalous.
Who is this anonymous Diane Nguyen
and what does she have against our beloved hippopotamus?
Joining me now is Hippopopalous apologist
and armchair sociologist, Cardigan Burke.
Cardigan, what are these allegations?
These allegations are so crazy, I can't even say them on TV
or I'll sound like a crazy person.
What I want to know is why we're letting a national treasure
face the same kind of smear tactics used by the Viet Cong.
Are you calling attention to the fact
that Ms. Nguyen is Vietnamese?
I'd like to think that's a coincidence.
Diane, You gotta see this set they're building!
There's a giant replica of my head,
and every episode, the eyes light up with dollar signs,
confetti shoots out of the ears, then I somersault out the mouth.
We're bringing class back to primetime.
- Sounds amazing. - And I'm really getting along
with J.D. Salinger.
- Did you know we both hate phonies? - I didn't know that.
So... listen. Some website called "Tit Puncher"
is saying you said some stuff about Hank Hippopopalous.
Oh, my God, Mr. Peanutbutter, I didn't mean for that to happen.
天 花生酱先生 那真不是我的本意
Hey, do me a favor. Please don't make a big thing out of this.
It's really not a good time,
you know, with my show about to launch.
Hey, we are on the same page.
Oh, are you also on "Tit Puncher"?
Because you should not read the comments.
Believe me, nothing would make me happier
than for this to just go away.
- Great. I love you, too. - Hello.
-那就好 我也爱你 -你好
- Oh, my God! - Is chili you ask for.
I am peasant boy Todd from village.
Friend of Peanut Man, and lover of federated American states.
No reason for suspicions. Come on!
Wait a second, something's different.
I am... digging this new cologne!
You smell like a fancy cabbage.
It's so great to be in meager trash city Los Angeles
with no pressures of royal life.
What? Royal life? Why I'm saying? I am no royal.
什么上流生活 我为什么说那个 我又不上流
Look at me. Normals.
There's that classic self-deprecating Todd wit.
I'd know it anywhere.
- We will now begin our Q and A. - Fire when ready.
What you got against Uncle Hanky, you uppity cooze?
Diane, I believe this question is for you.
Look, if anyone here has any questions about the book,
I'd be happy to answer those.
As would I, BoJack Horseman,
Golden-Globe winning star of the book.
If Hank did anything wrong,
they wouldn't let him on TV, right?
I'm really not here to talk about that.
You women are all the same.
- Excuse me? - Yeah, you make these
broad accusations to get attention for yourself,
and when you don't have proof to back it up, you just slink away.
I'm not slinking away.
I just wanted to say one thing about me.
I text and drive like all the time. What?
Isn't that what happened with all those assistants?
They took his money,
and they don't even care they could be ruining a man's life.
What? They ruined his life?
Diane, You should probably just drop this.
Oh, I'm gonna drop it, all right.
They don't even know how much I'm gonna drop it.
The way you said that made it sound like you won't drop it.
How dare you spread a narrative that...
Don't tell me what to spread.
I'll spread whatever I want.
It's called one of the amendments.
Ladies, please! Don't get hysterical!
- This is completely-- - Yeah, hi.
I'm Diane's friend, BoJack.
I came with her. I gotta say I'm opposed to child labor,
like as a rule, but there are some kinds of labor
that children are just better at.
You ever try to fit into a mine shaft?
That is a tight squeeze. What?
Oh, man, probably gonna get some letters about that, huh?
I'm so incorrigible.
Everyone's paying attention to me now!
Okay, I'm gonna go get a snack.
Anyone else want a snack?
No? That's a no? On the snacks? Okay.
不吗 没人吗 都不吃零食吗 好吧
What do you have against Hank Hippopopalous?
Everyone says he's a really nice guy.
That's exactly the problem. Because he's so nice,
people don't wanna think he's capable of awful things
so they let him off the hook.
We don't know what happened.
It's a classic "He said, she said."
"He said, they said." It's eight different women.
- Are they all lying? - I mean, probably. We do that.
-她们都在撒谎吗 -有可能 女人嘛
At this point, we just don't know enough to judge.
Who are these women? Have they ever shoplifted perhaps?
Do they wear short shorts?
Do they drink alcohol? All these things are possible.
We don't know the facts.
See, this is part of the problem.
You're supposed to be a journalist.
You won't even tell your audience what he's accused of.
You're such an expert. Why don't you tell us?
I'm not afraid to say it.
Eight different women, all former assistants,
claim that Uncle Hanky took them to a...
What is Diane doing?
I know. It's supposed to be my book tour and she's upstaging me.
Like how it was supposed to be my book.
Actually, this might be a thing she does.
She knows that Hippopopalous is the only thing
keeping my network afloat, right?
The same network that employs her husband.
Why would she do this?
Sometimes she just whips herself into a frenzy
and she loses all perspective. Goddamn it, honeydew?!
变得有点不懂顾全大局 卧槽 白兰瓜
Jesus, why does cantaloupe think
every time it gets invited to a party,
it can bring along its dumb friend honeydew?
You don't get a plus-one, cantaloupe!
You need to talk to her.
Wanda, I just got back from a set visit on Contemporary Family.
- What? - The kids have gone through puberty.
They are rubbing themselves on everything.
If it isn't one thing, it's ano...
Just get a hose!
Aha! I went to house to pick up mail for you
like real American Johnny.
You know it's a federal crime to go through someone else's mail?
I do not know your customs,
for I am dirt-poor servant child.
Oh, don't worry about it. Now walk me through that mail.
Death threat for wife,
death threat for wife, once more death threat,
and here many monies off for Bed Bath Beyond.
Seems like great U.S.A. Dream castle!
Good Lord, that's graphic.
How would she even fit one of those in there?
Some sort of funnel. Oh, I see, there's actually an illustration.
都是些烟囱 我明白了 有图说明做法了
Excuse, Dog Dog Peanut Man?
This wife, she poke bear, yes?
Yeah, I guess she kind of did.
They have a saying where I am from, which is here.
Bear not like to be poke.
- Bear get angry... - Right.
and destroy peasant rebel army
with fist of fire of which make many, many nightmares
to children and men!
Todd, I can always count on you to give me the straight dope.
Please don't ever change.
Okay, just kill the whole feature.
Replace it with...Oh, I don't know.
What's Gwyneth doing for Purim?
Diane? I want you to meet Amanda Hannity,
editor-in-chief here at Manatee Fair.
The pleasure's yours. Walk with me, squawk with me.
That woman can knock a drink
back like a Kennedy at a wake for another Kennedy,
but damn if she doesn't get shit done.
No. Yes. Turtleneck. You're fired.
不准 批准 龟脖女 你被炒了
Um, okay, I wanted to pitch you an exposé on Hank Hippopopalous.
I would love to take down Hippopopalous
and finally topple the acropolis of monstrous hypocrisy
Hey, wouldn't your readers prefer something more relevant?
Like, uh, what to do with all those extra buttons
that come with your shirts.
Amanda, I am so glad
you're throwing your weight behind this.
- Oh, I didn't mean-- - You, that dress is hideous.
Go home, burn it and come back.
When we know what we know about a monster like that
and we still put him on TV every week,
we're teaching a generation of young boys and girls
that a man's reputation is more important
than the lives of the women he's ruined.
Yes, exactly! I feel like I've been alone
对 没错 这几天来
in a crazy alternate universe these last few days.
Well, you know I got your back, right?
We women have got to stick to-- Hey, fruit plate.
No, people don't want articles about that.
People want life-hacks.
Diane, you need to be strong.
Everyone is gunning for you.
You're a woman talking out of turn about a man.
We're not supposed to have opinions.
We're supposed to smile and look pretty.
No, this model doesn't look as pretty as the other one.
Scarves, not just for necks anymo--
We need to sit you down
with someone who's willing to go on the record.
I already reached out to all
eight of Hank's former assistants. Nothing.
- What about his current assistant? - You think she'd talk?
I don't know. What do you think, answering machine?
我不知道 你觉得呢 答录机
Hi, my name's Nicole. I work for Mr. Hippopopalous and, um...
你好 我叫妮可 我是河马哥先生的助理
I really need to talk to someone.
Are you kidding me? With this honeydew right now? Ugh!
- Nicole? - Mm-hm.
Thank you, Nicole.
即将来袭好莱乌巨星名人 他们知道些什么他们有常识吗 让我们一起拭目以待
Prince Gustav today startled the international community
when he gave his royal fortune to charity.
And fired his Chief Advisor,
who can be seen in this file photo
looking vaguely suspicious.
Oh, you idiot! No!
Big reforms which could lead to sweeping change
in the embattled region, or a precipitous economic collapse.
But back to our main story, what is Diane's problem?
I'll say it once, for your article.
I didn't do any of those things that you're accusing me of.
I wanna be very clear.
I'm not meeting you here because I'm scared of you.
This is me doing you a favor.
I think you are scared of me.
I'm not a bad guy, Diane,
and I truly do believe that.
Twenty-four hours from now,
the news cycle will move on to something else.
I'll go back to hosting my dance show,
which employs hundreds of nice, good, hardworking people.
You, on the other hand, are pretty much done.
People love me and they're not gonna forgive you for this.
- This isn't about me. - If you keep pushing this,
you're gonna drag down the people close to you.
Look, you had your fun.
So, why don't you call it a day and go home to your husband?
I know who you are.
Sweetheart, everyone knows who I am.
I'm Hank Hippopopalous.
Who the hell are you?
- So, you got nothing. - I'm not giving up.
There's gotta be someone who will talk.
Oh, listen. I had a conversation with my bosses
听我说 我和我美国在线 时代华纳 百事
at AOL-Time Warner-Pepsico-Viacom-Halliburton-Skynet-
维亚康母 哈里伯顿 天网
Toyota-Trader Joe's, and we agreed
these kind of stories, they don't sell magazines.
- Are you seriously killing this? - It's just not a good time.
So, this has nothing to do with the fact
所以这其实和美国在线 时代华纳 百事
that AOL-Time Warner-Pepsico-
维亚康母 哈里伯顿 天网
Viacom-Halliburton-Skynet-Toyota-Trader Joe's also owns MBN,
and is currently profiting
off of Hank Hippopopalous's good reputation?
I know you're upset.
Would you like a Joe-Joe?
It's just like an Oreo, but Trader Joe's style.
No, I don't want a Joe-Joe.
Because you're mad at me, right?
Not because Joe-Joes taste like garbage?
好莱乌巨星名人 他们知道些什么他们有常识吗 让我们一起拭目以待
So, help me to understand...
Dog friend's program is to find what celebrities know?
- Yep. - So, is torture?
We don't torture people in America, Todd.
在美国 我们不会拷问别人的 陶德
That's called one of the Amendments.
In America, you do not know to suffer.
You eat your cheesy pizza, you drink your ade of gator.
This life is nice for visit but no way for live.
I go now. Back to palace!
Sounds great, Todd. See you tomorrow.
听起来挺不错的 陶德 明天见
So, they hated the skorts idea, huh?
No, I didn't pitch your skorts idea.
Why don't you shut your stupid ugly face?!
Don't you talk to her like that!
Yeah, don't listen to that guy, Diane.
对 别听他的 戴安
I say you should shut your stupid pretty face.
This is not over. When people hear what--
Give it a rest. It's over. You lost.
行了 结束了 是你输了
- How could you say that? - What are you doing here?
I mean, what is your endgame in all of this?
You don't actually believe Hank's innocent, do you?
Of course not, but that doesn't matter.
You're not gonna beat this guy.
- What? - Todd?
BoJack! Thank God you found me.
I thought I would never see you again.
We're in the middle of something.
I got mixed up in some bad stuff
and a genocide may or may not have been perpetrated in my name.
Maybe you heard about it on the news?
No, most of the news has been about Diane and Hank Hippopopalous.
What? Why? This is really serious.
什么 怎么会 这可是正事
Oh, of course your thing is serious
and my thing is just a dumb feminist trying to get attention
by attacking a famous man, is that it?
- Eat shit, Diane! - You eat shit!
-吃屎去吧 戴安 -你才去吃屎
Diane, obviously Todd doesn't know what you're talking about.
He spent the last few days at Burning Man
or whatever getting high.
No! That's not what happened at all.
A stranger just told me to eat shit.
I don't understand why you can't be on my side about this.
I am on your side.
And I'm telling you you're not gonna win this thing.
Also, P.S., when have you ever been on my side?
- I am always on your side. - Really?
Like when you wrote that book? Was that you being on my side?
You're not still mad about the book.
You manipulated me and completely took advantage of--
Guys? There is a very fragile alliance
between the Cords and the Ovians.
If we don't do something--
- Todd, nobody cares. - Nobody cares, Todd.
-陶德 没人关心 -没人关心 陶德
Everything I did was to help you tell the story
I knew you wanted to tell.
You got everything you wanted because of that book.
You were a joke, now people take you seriously.
You were out of work, now you got your dream role.
Okay, yes. All of that is true.
But also, you were my friend and you hurt my feelings.
And it's weird that you never apologized for that...
and that you still won't.
Well... I'm sorry I hurt your feelings.
- Are you? - Yes, actually. I am.
-真的吗 -真的 我真的抱歉
I didn't want to do that
and I probably could have handled things better.
I definitely should have. I'm sorry.
But this is bigger than you and me.
And I need you in my corner now
because I don't have anybody else.
Guys, earlier, some general asked me if it was "A go"
...on "That thing we talked about"?
And I said, "Yes." And he said,
"God help us all" And left the room.
Now I'm not sure that was the right answer.
So, then I called Wayne to see
if I could write a story for Buzzfeed. Here's the good news:
They'll publish anything.
Can I talk to you?
Yeah, of course. What's up?
I asked you, really nicely, not to make a big thing out of this.
- Yeah, I know, but someone-- - Had to say something, right?
-我知道 但总得有人 -站出来说点什么对吧
And that someone had to be you?
I really don't get it.
What is accomplished by
you being the one to take a stand on this?
This game show is a really big deal for me.
And I know that sounds stupid to you, and small.
But I need this to go well, and I can't...
Those are death threats.
People want to murder my wife
because of what she's saying on the news
about something that she has nothing to do with.
"You can't. You stupid, ugly can't."
- Yeah, that doesn't say "Can't." - Oh.
God, you know, you'd almost be safer in Cordovia.
Yeah, maybe I should go to Cordovia.
I'm obviously not making a difference here.
Actually, maybe you should.
Go feel good about yourself and do your important work.
And maybe some space might be good for us.
You don't really want me to go, do you?
Why does it suddenly matter what I want?
Flight 57, Cordovian Airlines, now boarding.
57号航班 科尔多维亚航空 现在登机
Hank, I have to ask, did you do it?
汉克 我问一下 你到底做了吗
Well, that's good enough for me.
Coming up, Kanye West claims
to hate Thin Mints. Our panel is outraged.
Hating Thin Mints? Is he legally insane?
You can bet we'll get into this further in the next hour.
This is the only thing I care about now.