我爱上的人是奇葩 第三季 You're the Worst Season 3 第1集: 强行努力 Try Real Hard
上映日期: 2,016
语言: 英语
影片类型: 剧情 / 喜剧 / 爱情
导演: 温蒂·斯坦齐勒
演员: 克里斯·吉尔 / 阿雅·卡什 / 戴斯敏·博格斯 / 凯瑟·多诺休 / 萨米拉·威利 / 达里尔·布里特-吉布森 / 布兰登·史密斯 / 科莱特·沃夫
台词
Oh, God. Oh, shit!
老天 妈的
I'm gonna come! I'm gonna come!
我要高潮了 我要高潮了
- I'm gonna come. - Why do you always announce it?
-我要高潮了 -你为什么老是提前宣布下
- What? - You always announce it.
-什么 -你老是提前宣布要高潮了
- I do? - Always.
-是吗 -一直如此
I don't know. I guess I just want everyone to be clear that, uh...
我不知道 我只是想让大家都知道...
- That this is Gretchen's moment. - Yeah.
-这是属于格雷琴的时刻 -对
Gretchen has the floor.
轮到格雷琴主控全场
- Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. - Oh, yeah!
-好爽 妈的 -好棒
- I'm gonna... - No! Wait.
-我要... -不行 等等
Jesus. What?
老天 干嘛
Gretchen has the floor!
现在是格雷琴主控全场
I don't know what to tell you.
我不知道该怎么告诉你
We can, you know, both.
我们可以一起...
Like, at the same time?
同时高潮吗
- Why not? - I don't know.
-为什么不呢 -我不知道
Will it be scary?
会很恐怖吗
I don't know. It might.
我不知道 可能吧
- Wait, I can't... I can't stop it. - Oh, me neither.
-等等 我忍不住了 -我也是
- I can't stop it. - Here I...
-我忍不住了 -我...
You were so quiet.
你好安静啊
You had the floor.
你主控全场嘛
■
翻译 大叔酱 TVyoung@TVyoung
翻译 洗七里 梅菜扣肉的肉 泽生
时间轴 阿包 加森 后期 加森
校对 Ethan-泽生 总监 Ethan-泽生
我爱上的人是奇葩第三季 第一集
Oh, stop. It's a soft case.
没事啦 这手机壳很软的
I'm gonna take a shower.
我要去冲澡
Might take a second. I'm gonna wash my legs.
要花点时间 我要洗我的腿
- You mean shave your legs? - No.
-你是说刮腿毛吗 -不是
I'm sorry?
你说什么
Implying that you don't usually wash your legs?
意思就是你平时都不洗你的腿吗
No.
不洗啊
You don't wash your legs?
你不洗你的腿
No way. What am I, a sucker?
当然不洗了 难道我是傻逼吗
What, you take showers, and you don't wash your legs?
你洗澡 但却不洗你的腿
What am I gonna do, like, bend down and wash my legs?
那我要怎么办 弯下腰洗我的腿吗
Who has the time?
谁有那个时间啊
Yesterday, you spent two hours drawing a maze.
昨天你花上两小时画一幅迷宫图
Yeah. And how do you think I had time to draw that sick-ass maze?
就是啊 不然你以为我哪来的时间画那个破迷宫
No wonder you haven't finished your book, Jimbo.
难怪你的书还没写完 吉宝
Too busy washing your legs.
就忙着洗你的玉腿呢
It's book proposal. And it's nearly done.
只是新书提案而已 而且就快写完了
Hey, I forgot to mention!
对了 我忘了说
Sam and the boys are having a big secret reunion show tonight.
山姆他们今晚要举办盛大的秘密重聚表演
- You want to come? - Nope.
-你想去吗 -不想
It's a really important night.
今晚真的很重要
- Free booze. - I'll be there.
-酒水免费 -我会去的
Love you.
爱你哦
What did you say?
你刚说什么
Oh, my God, are you serious?
我的天 你来真的吗
W-We said it.
我们说过了啊
No way! I didn't say it!
不可能 我绝逼没说过
Uh, the night of Becca and Vernon's party.
贝卡和弗南举办派对的那晚
We both said... You said it first!
我们都说了 是你先说的
I was blackout drunk!
我彻底喝高了
- Why would you take anything I said seriously? - I seriously think
-你怎么把我说的句句话都当真 -我真心觉得
- that you may have a drinking problem. - I don't have a problem.
-你可能有酗酒问题 -我才没问题
- You know what, I'm not gonna let this bother me. - Maybe you have
-我懒得跟你说了 -或许你才有
a "Believing things drunk people say" Problem.
"相信醉汉的醉话"问题
I told you, from the beginning, I don't believe in it.
从一开始我就跟你说过 我不相信爱情
But you said it.
但你说过了
I might also have said that
我可能还说过
I don't have an opinion on your pubic hair,
我对你的阴毛没意见
or that I was gonna help Edgar with his résumé.
或者 我要帮埃德加制作简历呢
Doesn't make them true.
那并不代表我说的是真话
Babe.
宝贝
Babe?
宝贝
Dude with his face in my business.
在我身上埋头狂啃的小哥
What's the matter?
怎么了
Just, um, you've been doing that for, like, a half hour.
你已经这样舔了半个小时了
Uh, uh, attention to detail. It's an Army thing...
注重细节嘛 在军队...
When are you gonna do me already?
你什么时候操我
I like making you feel good.
我想让你爽
Is this your way of apologizing
你这是在为之前面对同居提议
for backing out of moving in together?
有所退缩而道歉吗
If so, forgiven.
如果是 我原谅你了
Anyway, who am I to look a gift... whore?
总之 我又不是婊子 怎么会不知感恩
- Gift head? - Gift mouth in the mouth.
-"口礼之交" -"口礼往来"
There it is.
好梗
Okay.
好了
Lindsay!
琳赛
Lindsay, come out here!
琳赛 出来
Oh. Okay, let me go put on my biking Spanx.
好吧 我去穿我的骑车专用内衣
No, honey. You don't understand.
不是 亲爱的 你搞错了
Being back in this house, I realized
回到这个家后 我意识到
I created a life apart from you.
我之前的生活是与你格格不入的
All my hobbies,
我所有的爱好
my Internet activity, my secret bank account...
我的网上活动 秘密银行账户
Your what now?
你的什么
All these separate things created malignant distance between us.
所有的这一切在我们之间造成了巨大的鸿沟
You're throwing away all your nerd stuff?
你要把你所有的书呆子玩物都给扔了吗
From this moment on, my sole focus
从此刻起 我只会关注
will be on things we can do together.
我们能一起做的事
I have a very special evening planned.
我计划了一个非常特别的夜晚
- My special night? - Tonight,
-我的特别之夜吗 -今晚
we launch our life, truly together.
我们将真正携手开启我们的生活
As a family.
作为一家人
Family.
家庭
Breakfast...
早餐
tots.
炸土豆块
This is completely...
这个简直是...
brilliant.
太棒了
Why have you just thought of these now?
你怎么现在才想起来做
I'm more creative when I'm upset.
我不开心时比较有灵感
I have a problem.
我遇到问题了
Having a problem is your defining characteristic.
有问题是你的标志性特色
No, I have a real problem.
不 我遇到真正的问题了
Ever since they switched some of my meds, I've been...
自从他们给我换了些药 我就...
having a little trouble in the bedroom.
在卧房之中就遇到点麻烦
What, night screamings? Sleep-to-rage?
什么 夜半惊叫 睡眠暴怒
Waking up thinking, "Why am I here?
醒来时困惑 "我为什么会在这儿"
Oh, right. Yeah, I'm freeloading off Jimmy."
"哦对 我在吃吉米的白食"
No. Bed-room.
不 是指"床事"
Oh, my God! Jesus, man. Are you serious?
我的天啊 老兄 你是认真的吗
It's not like nothing happens,
并不是说一点没反应
but more like it starts to happen,
更像是 它正要起来
then it gets halfway there and is like...
然后到一半的时候 就像在说...
"Nope, I'm going back to bed."
"不 我要继续卧倒了"
I've gone years now successfully never picturing your penis.
多年以来 我成功避免想象你的下体
And now... there it is.
然而现在 它浮现了
Just maybe try to...
也许你可以试试...
kink it back into working order, huh?
刺激它恢复功能
What have you two tried? Latex?
你们试过什么 乳胶衣
Smooshing?
假鸡巴
Medical play? Size training?
医学角色扮演 尺寸训练
CFNM? Funneling?
女王调教 异物插入
Hazyface?
模糊人脸
Clit negging? Ladyboy?
阴蒂贬低 变装男孩
Nothing. Just regular.
没什么 就普通的招式
Well, then your penis is clearly bored to death.
那你的鸡巴显然已经无聊死了
Just try something.
尝试点什么
Maybe start with some light role-playing.
可以从简单的角色扮演试起
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna try and finish my breakfast
好了 不介意的话 我要把早餐吃完了
without thinking about your penis.
且尽量不去想你的下体
- Béchamel? - Uh, I'm done.
-白汁酱要吗 -我不吃了
- One, two, three. - I already have...
-一二三 -我已经喝了...
Okay.
好吧
Let's do Lemon Drops next.
下一轮来柠檬汁鸡尾酒
Don't you have work?
你不用上班吗
Have you seen what I do?
你见过我的工作吗
Now that you mention it, I've never known.
说起来 我还真不知道
How does it work? Like, with Sam. Who pays you?
怎么运作的 比如你负责山姆 谁给你发工资
The company for which I work.
我效力的公司
A company hired you?
有公司肯雇你
They interviewed you and then offered you a job?
他们面试你 然后给你工作
Let's try Cosmos next, like ladies.
下一轮我们喝大都会鸡尾酒 像淑女一样
Cosmos.
大都会鸡尾酒
Why are you asking me questions?
你为什么问我问题
It's just funny.
说起来很好笑
With this insane revelation that,
当我有了这个惊人的发现
for some reason, you don't wash your legs.
不知为何 你竟然不洗大腿
No need. Water falls on them.
不需要 水会流过大腿
Oh, my God.
我的天啊
Anyway, had you not said anything,
总之 要是你什么都不说
I might have never known this fact.
我也许永远不会知道这个事实
So? Chug.
所以呢 干了
So? The unknowable is terrifying, Gretchen.
所以 不明的真相令人恐惧 格雷琴
That's why humanity explores.
所以人类才不断探索
To shine a light on the frightening dark that surrounds us.
给我们周围可怕的黑暗洒下一丝光亮
Thus, immediately upon learning that you don't wash your legs,
因此 在得知你不洗大腿的一瞬间
itself unimportant--
这本身不重要
I'm now thrust into wondering: what else don't I know?
我不禁想到 还有什么是我不知道的
About me? Ooh, okay.
关于我的吗 好的
I dated two of the Baldwins.
我和鲍得温兄弟中的两人约会过
I competed in the U.S. Teen Nationals for show jumping.
我参加了全国青少年越障赛
- In horsery? - Yes, horsery.
-马术吗 -对 马术
For ten months,
有10个月
I did ink work for a professional counterfeiter.
我给专业造假币的做过画工
I've never eaten a blueberry.
我从没吃过蓝莓
They are doll eyes. Think about it.
它们很像娃娃的眼睛 想想看
Drink.
喝酒
How do I not know any of this?
这些我怎么一无所知
I can't do a cartwheel.
我做不了侧手翻
An owl tried to kill me at Bible camp.
圣经夏令营时 一只猫头鹰要杀我
- What? - Big sumbitch.
-什么 -大杂种
Sluiced right through the night air, silent as shit.
在黑夜中掠过 一声不响
- I think there's still a scar if you want... - No, no, no, no.
-我觉得伤疤应该还在 你要... -不不不不
What kind of camp did you say?
你说是什么夏令营来着
Bible camp. See, my real problem is
圣经夏令营 真正的问题是
I was wearing a headband with a cute little mouse on it.
我当时戴着印有可爱小老鼠的头带
Gretchen, are you religious?
格雷琴 你信教吗
No!
不
I consider myself more generally spiritual.
我觉得我只是存有精神信仰而已
Drink.
喝酒
I am hammered!
我喝大了
Are you hammered?
你喝大了吗
You're the best.
你最棒了
I'm so glad you're my boyfriend.
我很庆幸你是我的男朋友
Look, I know we weren't gonna say it,
听着 我知道我们说不出口
but... screw it.
但是 管他呢
I love you, Jimmy.
我爱你 吉米
- I love you. - I knew it.
-我爱你 -我就知道
Psyche! Nice try, dummy.
上当了 想得美 傻蛋
I've had five shots.
我才喝了5杯酒
I could fly a plane after five shots. Bye.
我喝5杯去开飞机都没问题 拜拜
He doesn't remember saying it. Little punk-ass bitch.
他不记得自己说过了 那个小贱人
I've done tons of stuff drunk, and it all counts:
我酒后乱做过许多事 我从没不承认过
my wedding, driving school,
比如我的婚礼 去驾校
all my dentist appointments.
每次去看牙医
Getting vag-fected by Paul's wriggly little jizz monsters?
还有被保罗的小精虫们入侵了下体
No! Don't pinch me!
住手 别掐我
We are having this baby!
我们要把这孩子生下来
- It's a fresh start. - Stop!
-这是个全新的开始 -住手
- You bitch! - Quit it!
-你个贱人 -别掐了
Stop it!
够了
We're supposed to be having a meeting
我们本该开会商量
about the secret reunion show tonight.
今晚的秘密重聚演出
You're early. It's still my lunch hour.
你们来早了 我午餐时间还没结束
I will eat those later.
我待会儿会捡起来吃的
You're not having this baby.
你不是真要把这孩子生下来吧
Unfortunately,
不幸的是
being keenly in tune with the human condition
我对人的身心状态感觉十分敏锐
means that after hearing this idiotic shit
那意味着在听你们叨逼叨这些屁话
for the past ten minutes,
整整十分钟后
I have thoughts.
我得出了结论
Bitch, he does not love you.
贱人 他不爱你
Oh, goddamn it!
该死的
When you say "I love you,"
当人们说"我爱你"的时候
it's supposed to be romantic and/or highly sexual.
本该是很浪漫的 或者色欲满满的
Or when you're so overwhelmed
或者是你感到不知所措的时候
by what perfection is in front of you...
因为你面前的是这样一位完美的...
If you say the word "Jaclyn" one more time,
如果你再提起"杰奎琳"的名字哪怕一次
I will gag you with that raggedy-ass bandanna!
我就把你那块破头巾塞进你嘴里
I've never loved anyone.
我从没爱过任何人
I guess it's because I never felt worthy of love in return.
我猜那是因为我从未觉得自己值得被爱
Be the CEO of your own life, Gretch.
做自己人生的CEO 格雷琴
Don't wait for no one to say it to you.
别等着别人来说爱你
Every morning in the mirror, I purse my pillow lips up
每天早晨我都对着镜子 翘起自己丰满的双唇
and stare into my apple juice eyes, and I be like,
凝视自己苹果汁般的双眼 对自己说
"I love you.
"我爱你
"I love you, Sam.
我爱你 山姆
I love you!"
我爱你"
"Apple juice eyes"?
"苹果汁般的双眼"
Don't be trying to play like they ain't rich, delicious, apple juice.
别装作你不觉得我的双眼如苹果汁般甘醇味美
That's why no one loves you.
就是因为这样才没人爱你
Anyway, dudes don't say it with words,
话说回来 男人的爱不是用嘴说的
they say it with actions.
是用行动表现的
Other bitch, get out of here.
另外那个贱人 给我滚出
We got to talk about the show.
我们得谈谈演出的事了
I am all over it, Sam.
我都搞定了 山姆
I have a press release ready to go.
我已经准备好了一份新闻发布稿
It's a secret show!
这是场秘密演出
No press release.
不许搞新闻发布
No industry whispers.
不许搞业内小道消息
Then how will people find out about it?
那人们怎么得知有这场演出啊
Real ballers' fans find out clandestine style and shit.
真正大牌的粉丝都会发现秘密演出的
Fetty Wap at the El Rey.
菲迪·瓦普在雷伊剧院的演出
Schoolboy Q on the roof of The Standard.
Schoolboy Q在标准酒店屋顶上的演出
Young Thug at Sufjan Steven's broth restaurant.
Young Thug在苏夫扬·史蒂文斯的汤馆的演出
No press. All packed.
没有媒体发布 却是爆满
Okay, but that's not actually how it works.
但实际上不是那么运作的
Gretch! No!
格雷琴 不行
It has to be pure.
必须是纯正的
It's a point of pride.
那涉及自尊的问题
Prove to the world we ain't never slipped.
向世界证明我们没走下坡路
Hello?
哪位
Hi.
你好
I was just babysitting next door,
我在给邻居家看小孩
and I got bored watching Hulu,
我看在线视频网站看得无聊了
like we millennials do.
我们千禧一代都这样
Oh, hi. Come in.
你好 请进
Geez, nice place.
你家房子真不错
Reminds me of my piano teacher's house.
让我想起了我钢琴老师家
Sometimes we sit too close to each other on the bench,
有时候我们在琴凳上坐得太近了
and our side-butts touch.
屁股侧面会贴在一起
It's ac... it's actually my friend Jimmy's house.
这其实是我朋友吉米的房子
He let me sleep here because I was homeless...
他让我住在这因为我无家可归
Dude, this is fantasy.
老兄 这是角色扮演
Oh, right. Uh...
对哦
Yeah, this is my house.
没错 的确是我的房子
Which I bought with a mortgage... money loan.
我用抵押贷款买的
Yeah, well, I just moved to town to be a YouTube star.
我搬到这里来是为了成为网红
Don't you love my widdle baby voice, Daddy?
难道你不爱我的娃娃音吗 爹地
Oh, shit. Sorry.
该死 抱歉
Hey, troopmate.
喂 大兵
What happens in the foxhole stays in the foxhole, right?
发生在散兵坑里的事都留在散兵坑 对吧
Shit. Sorry. Ugh.
该死 对不起
I'm not very good at this, which is weird,
我不太擅长这个 按理说不应该
because my character work
因为我就是因为擅长角色扮演
is what got me very close on three different basic cable
才差点上了三个不同的基本有线电视台的
hidden camera prank shows.
隐藏摄像机整人节目
Let's try again.
我们再试一次
No, no. It-It's okay.
不 不 不用了
Is it me?
是我的错吗
Is this because I farted in front of you the other day?
是因为我那天在你面前放屁了吗
Some of my new medications
我吃的一些新药
apparently can have libido-interfering characteristics.
很显然有影响性欲的药性
Well, can't you just get them to switch them?
你不能让他们给你换种药吃吗
They have been switching them
他们已经给我换过了
and switching them and switching them and switching them.
换来换去 换来换去 好多次了
Well, your body probably just has to get used to it.
大概只是你的身体需要一段适应期
I mean, they wouldn't have you on something
他们肯定不会给你吃
that makes you unable to have sex forever.
让你永远无法做爱的药
Of course not.
当然不会
And, until you figure it out,
在你找到解决办法前
there's probably a pill you could take...
你也许可以靠吃药来...
No, I'm not taking another pill.
不 我不想再多吃一种药了
I can't keep taking more pills and more pills
我不能再继续吃更多的药了
and more pills, okay?
不能吃了 好吗
Never mind. I'm sorry.
算了 很抱歉
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
对不起 对不起
It's just hard.
真的太难熬[硬]了
No, it's not. Bad, Dorothy.
不硬啊 烂梗啊 多洛希
This door list is as white as your ass!
这清单空白得跟你的白人屁股一样
Where's all the goddamn people on this bitch, bitch?
清单上的人呢
You told me not to publicize it!
是你叫我不要宣传的
To normal people, stupid!
不要对普通人宣传 蠢货
Where's all the media dudes and the influencers?
那些搞媒体的和有影响力的大腕呢
Our actor and athlete fans?
我们的演员和运动员粉丝呢
Where the hell is CP3 and Marcelo Huertas
克里斯·保罗和马塞罗·胡尔塔斯呢
- and Bradley Cooper? - Bradley Cooper loves us!
-布莱德利·库珀呢 -布莱德利·库珀爱我们
We got hella wasted with dude backstage of Elephant Man.
我们在《象人》的后台和他喝得醉醺醺的
- You remember that? - Mm-hmm.
-你还记得吗 -嗯
Where is Bradley Cooper, Gretch?
布莱德利·库珀在哪 格雷琴
Where is Bradley Cooper?!
布莱德利·库珀在哪
You forbade me from inviting anyone!
你不准我邀请任何人来的
Not important people!
没说不让你邀请大腕
I hate you! This is sabotage!
我真恨你 你这是怠工
Quick! Social media tsunami!
快点 发挥社交媒体的力量
Yo. What's up, fans?
你们好吗 粉丝们
It's your boy, Sam. Come down to the Smear, now.
我是你们亲爱的山姆 快到污迹酒吧来
Secret show. Hella shrimps!
秘密演出 有好多虾吃
I love you.
我爱你们
It's no use. We only got 20 minutes!
没用的 我们只剩20分钟了
I cannot have snaps of an empty-ass show all over the Internet!
我不能让演出现场空无一人的照片 在网上流传
Get bodies in here.
搞点人过来
I don't care how!
我不管你用什么手段
Shit!
靠
And don't forget Bradley Cooper!
别忘了布莱德利·库珀
Lindsay.
琳赛
You look positively ethereal.
你看上去好优雅
I am so excited
我好激动啊
to open my special prize and find out
要拆开我的特别奖品
what we're doing tonight.
看看我们今晚要做什么
"Red Napkin"?
红餐巾
Paul, this dress doesn't have a butt.
保罗 这件裙子没有后面
It's an apron.
那是件围裙
A Napron?
围裙
Red Napkin is the finest in seasonal, pre-portioned meals
红餐巾是当季预先分装好的三餐中最好的
delivered fresh, thrice weekly,
运送新鲜食材 每周三次
that you cook at home together.
你们就可以一起在家做饭了
My present is cooking?
我的礼物是做饭吗
Cooking as a family.
一家人一起做饭
Family.
一家人
You don't seem excited.
你好像并不是很激动
I thought you were taking me out, like a fun party date.
我以为你会带我出去 参加好玩的派对之类的
We can't party anymore. You're pregnant.
我们不能再去派对玩了 你有孕在身
Like we talked about.
就像我们之前谈过的一样
This is the next phase of our life.
这是我们人生的下一个阶段
And we both want that.
而且我们都想要这样
大约教会
这位抑郁的年轻女士有些话想对各位信徒说
我们的教会欢迎所有人
我会翻译
不用了 神父
大家好 不好意思
我不是疯子
其实 我是抑郁症患者
但我下周要开始治疗了
那有点可怕
请说重点 孩子 我们得结束仪式了
弗瑞尔半夜要在这搭建临时运动鞋店
不好意思
这场仪式结束之后 如果有人想去街对面
看一个十分有才华的乐团的音乐演出
也许就能帮我保住工作了
我爱你们的教会
这里曾经是红极一时的可丽饼餐厅
早知道它开不久的
可丽饼只是傻逼们吃的煎饼而已
并且
我会给每个去看的人
30美元的现金
而且那里还有很多非常新鲜的海鲜
虾 蟹 牡蛎 扇贝
- Gracias. - Gracias, mi hija.
-谢谢 -谢谢 我的孩子
You speak Spanish?
你竟然会说西班牙语
Who doesn't speak Spanish?
西班牙语谁不会说啊
Me. Edgar.
我啊 埃德加啊
Look, Jimmy, if you're that freaked out,
吉米 如果你这么不安
we can just unsay it, okay? Poof! Unsaid.
我们可以撤回那些话 好吗 撤回了
I'm not gonna start pretending.
我不会假装的
I might as well start pretending there's a person
我还不如假装有个人
who lives in the clouds who cares whether we survive cancer or not.
生活在云端之上 却关心我们的死活
We are strangers, Gretchen.
我们是陌生人 格雷琴
Bullshit. We know each other.
放屁 我们认识彼此
Well, not really.
并非如此
We live together, we trust, blindly.
我们生活在一起 我们盲目信任彼此
But it's based on what? It's actual madness,
但这是基于什么 这简直就是发神经
willingly living with a wild animal but one with thumbs
自愿和一头野兽住在一起 但它有利爪
who can steal your money and hurt you emotionally.
能窃取你的钱财 伤害你的感情
So what changed? Why are you suddenly so freaked out now?
是有什么改变了吗 为什么你突然吓坏了呢
What? I don't like that. Stop doing that!
搞什么 我不喜欢你这表情 给我打住
That's why you've been asking me questions all day?
所以你才会缠着我问了一整天的问题吗
You never cared enough to ask before.
你以前都不在乎 懒得问的
Sam was right.
山姆说的对
You are showing me, not telling me.
你在用行动对我表示 而非开口告诉我
Listen, those words--
听着 那三个字
they're like a-a verbal contract.
那就像是一份 口头协议
They're a promise.
那是种承诺
And I am not ready to make that promise.
我还没准备好做出这种承诺
If "I love you" Is like a promise,
如果"我爱你"算是种承诺
it's just a promise to, like, try real hard.
那只是一种 用尽全力去在一起的承诺
Doesn't mean you can't fail.
并不意味着你不能失败
It doesn't?
并不意味着吗
Have you met me? The only way I can stomach
你难道才认识我吗 我能忍受这一切的唯一原因
any of this is knowing I can just bail at any time.
就是内心清楚 我随时都可以退出
We can just... bail?
我们可以 退出吗
Yeah. I always have one foot out the door.
当然啦 我一直都有一只脚在门外准备撒腿跑
With everything.
对任何事都是这样
Especially with us.
尤其是对于我们
So you might just suddenly bounce?
所以你有可能会突然抽身走人
Any minute.
随时可能
I love you.
我爱你
Jimmy.
吉米呀
Come here.
过来
Listen,
听着
I'm sorry for earlier. I reacted badly.
我想为之前的事道歉 我的反应很糟糕
Nah, you didn't.
不 你没有
Yes, I did. And I'm sorry.
不 是真的 对不起
Thank you.
谢谢
'Cause, honestly,
因为 老实说
your health is all that matters.
你的健康才是最重要的
We can just, like, have a nontraditional thing.
我们可以采取些 非传统的玩法
What do you mean?
你什么意思
We don't have to have penetrative sex.
我们不必进行插入式性爱
You know, you can just go down on me for hours, like earlier.
你可以像之前一样 给我口交好几个小时
Or we can get one of those sex toys
或者我们可以使用性玩具
that looks like a dolphin.
长得像海豚的那种
Anyway,
总之
I am in this, regardless of limitations
我打算彻底投入 愿意无下限
or what we can't do anymore. Okay?
不去管什么不能做 好吗
Thank you.
谢谢你
I have to hit the restroom.
我得去一下洗手间
Okay.
好的
♪ I'm Steph Curry rapping, getting digit, loads of paper ♪
♪我是球星斯蒂芬·库里 跨入数字时代 好多的纸♪
♪ Sippin' martinis, snuffin', huffin' giga-loads of vapor ♪
♪喝着马提尼酒 饼干 大量的水汽♪
♪ Don Draper ♪ ♪ Paper palace ♪
-♪唐·德雷柏♪ -♪纸宫殿♪
♪ Your house is all papyrus ♪
♪你的房子不过是一堆草纸♪
♪ House of cards falling down, round somebody killed Osiris ♪
♪纸牌屋倒下 砸死欧西里斯♪
♪ Medicare, Medicaid ♪
♪医疗保险 医疗补助♪
♪ And all social services ♪
♪以及所有的社会服务♪
♪ Nervous kid, I'll show your nervous grandma ♪
♪紧张的孩子 我会让你紧张的奶奶明白♪
♪ Just what nervous is ♪
♪什么才是真正的紧张♪
♪ Shit-talking cops like my name was Mel Gibson ♪
♪满嘴胡话的条子 搞得我像是梅尔·吉布森♪
♪ Sugar tits, honey dip, choosy bitches prefer Tiffany ♪
♪大胸妹 真爱女 挑剔的贱人喜欢蒂芙尼♪
♪ I'm so sky high while my mind's eye is boozy ♪
♪我已经嗨上天 大脑醉醺醺♪
♪ I deserve to be blown before the Jacuzzi ♪
♪我该享受在热水浴缸前被跪舔♪
♪ I deserve to be blown before the Jacuzzi ♪
♪我该享受在热水浴缸前被跪舔♪
♪ I deserve to be blown before the Jacuzzi ♪
♪我该享受在热水浴缸前被跪舔♪
♪ I deserve to be blown before the Jacuzzi. ♪
♪我该享受在热水浴缸前被跪舔♪
Now, as y'all know,
大家也知道
me and these fools were beefin'.
我和这两个笨蛋之前在撕逼
But squabbles is normal in a family.
但是家人间的争吵是很正常的
So during that time, we wrote a song
在那段期间 我们写了首歌
that really speaks to
真正道出了
the soul of friendship in this incendiary cultural time.
这煽动的文化时代的友谊的灵魂
It's called "New Phone, Who Dis?"
歌名叫《新手机 你哪位》
Where's that simple-ass white bitch at?!
那个头脑简单的白人贱婊在哪儿
White bitch!
白人贱婊
Here's the classic sound of the red-winged blackbird.
这是红翅黑鹂的典型叫声
专业识鸟
For our first meal, dear wife,
亲爱的妻子 我们的第一餐
we are having hominy and poblano pepper posole,
要吃玉米粥和辣椒牛肉浓汤
with a warm mushroom salad and rhubarb grits.
加上温热的蘑菇沙拉和大黄面粉
Now, the chatters of a house wren.
接下来是莺鹪鹩的鸟语
I picked up a demi-bottle of Gewurztraminer.
我买了半瓶琼瑶浆红酒
Obviously, you can't have any,
显然 你不能喝
so I SodaStreamed some sparkling water with yuzu for you-zu.
所以我用气泡水机配上日本香橙调了点饮料给你
Interesting fact:
一个有趣的事实
did you know an average ear of corn
你知道平均每个玉米穗
has an even number of rows, usually 16?
通常会有16排玉米粒吗
And humans have 32 teeth.
而人类恰好有32颗牙
How's that for intra-kingdom synergy?
像这种跨界的协同作用是不是很棒
I'm so happy I get to do this with you forever, wife.
我真高兴我可以永远跟你这样下去 老婆
We have menus for the next six months already.
接下来六个月的菜单都有了哦
Thus, there are no surprises, ever.
所以 永远没有惊喜
Okay, let's see.
好吧 来看下
Menu number two is jerk venison with smashed yams...
2号菜单是鹿肉干加甘薯泥
and garlic-ginger okra. Yum!
以及蒜 姜 秋葵 好美味啊
Lastly, we have the warbles of an American goldfinch.
最后 是美洲金翅雀的叫声
Meal number three is gomasio-spiced parsnip soup...
3号菜单 是芝麻盐辣防风草汤...