我爱上的人是奇葩第三季双语台词对白剧本

So, Gretchen,

格雷琴

There's a topic we haven't broached yet.

有一个话题我们还没提过

How you seem to only own one pair of jeans?

你怎么只有一条牛仔裤

You've been so focused on Jimmy's dad.

你最近一直很关注吉米爸爸的事

Has that stirred up any feelings about your father?

那是否触发了你对于你爸爸的感情

Nope!

没有

What about your mom?

那你妈妈呢

I've noticed some tension around the subject.

我注意到一谈到这个话题你就紧张

Tension?

紧张

My mom's a baller-ass boss. End of story.

我妈是个屌爆的女强人没了

Did you see Wheel last night?

你看了昨晚的《幸运之轮》吗

Someone almost hit the million-dollar wedge.

有个人差点转到了100万美元的那一格

I remember when they brought that out in '08,

我记得他们08年把100万的奖放上去时

I was like, "What? That is nuts."

我就在想什么鬼真是太疯狂了

So, would you say she's controlling, manipulative?

你觉得她控制欲强喜欢操纵他人吗

If I biffed a tennis match,

要是我输了一场网球比赛

She would take away my sheets and pillows.

她就会收走我的床单和枕头

But that is what made me strong.

但那让我更加坚强

My friends had chill parents who didn't push them,

我朋友们的父母倒是很随意从不逼迫他们

And now they're all unmotivated babies.

如今他们都是不上进的爸宝妈宝

Maybe if they had a mom like mine,

要是他们的妈妈像我的一样

They wouldn't be the pieces of shit that they are currently.

他们就不会是现在这副鬼样子

You know what?

这样吧

I'gonna fix those shitty babies, just like my mom would.

我要去矫正那些熊孩子我妈肯定会这么做的

I would actually advise you not interfere with your friends' lives,

我还是建议你不要干预你那些朋友们的生活

Too late. Doing it.

太迟了已经干预了

Of course you are.

当然了

Okay, Gretchen.

好吧格雷琴

this is obviously not working.

这样显然没作用

The defensiveness, the mid-session naps,

你防备心太强谈话过程中还要睡一觉

The things you're writing on the bathroom stalls,

还有你在厕所墙上写的东西

The name calling...

那些骂人的话

Oh, see, that one's on you.

等等那个得怪你

You let a dog on the bed once...

你一旦允许我肆无忌惮地骂过一次...

No one is forcing you to be here.

没人逼你来这儿

Are you firing me?

你要炒了我吗

You don't fire me. I fire you.

你不能炒了我我炒你才对

Okay.

好吧

Wait. Uh, let's compromise.

等等我们互相妥协下吧

If I fix my friends

要是我矫正了我的朋友

and prove that I'm right about my mom,

并证明我对我妈的看法是对的

Do you promise not to fire me?

你能保证不炒了我吗

I'm not firing you.

我没有要炒了你

That is not a compromise.

而且那也不是什么妥协

And I don't agree to any of it.

我完全不同意

Great. Deal.

很好说定了

Seriously,

讲真

Jeans are, like, 20 bucks at H&M.

H&M的牛仔裤才20刀一条

翻译 TVyoung 小饭大叔酱

■

Get on it.

去买吧

翻译洗七里泽生梅菜扣肉

时间轴阿包加森后期加森

校对 Ethan-泽生总监 Ethan-泽生

我爱上的人是奇葩第三季第八集

What are you doing?

你干什么

Zoo Entrepreneur? What the hell is this?

动物园企业家这是什么玩意儿

It's a highly invigorating game

一个超好玩的游戏

In which one builds a virtual zoo.

你可以在里面建一所虚拟动物园

Mine's called "Jimmy's spectacular zoo of wonder

我的叫"吉米的豪华幻想动物园

"and animal friends

住满了小动物

Plus Cinnabons, parenthesis no Edgars allowed."

开有肉桂餐厅且埃德加不得入内"

And you're a professional writer.

你竟然有脸当一名职业作家

Gretchen, feeding the giraffe and washing the rhinoceri

格雷琴喂喂长颈鹿给犀牛洗澡

exercises everything that a writer needs for a productive day

满足了一个作家保持高产的一切必须条件

Problem solving, imagination, word having.

解决问题想象创造词语

What's your giraffe's name?

你的长颈鹿叫什么名儿

- Necky. - Jimmy, you have a deadline! You need to be writing!

-小颈子 -吉米你有最后期限你得写起来

Gretchen, it's all writing!

格雷琴这都是写作

No, it's not.

不才不是

Playing, literally, the world's most boring game is not writing.

玩世界上最无聊的游戏真不是写作

You know what's writing?

你知道什么才是写作吗

Writing!

动笔写

Sorry, bor-- boring?

不好意思无聊

Why, just yesterday a seven-year-old

就昨天一个7岁小孩儿

Fell into the koala enclosure.

掉进了考拉的围笼

He was not injured.

他没受伤

But he sure was severely nuzzled.

但他被考拉用鼻子狂"爱抚"了一番

Gretchen, what are you-- no!

格雷琴你在干...不要

No, plug the router back in!

不要给我把路由器接回去

My zoo is cloud-based.

我的动物园建在云平台上

You show me some pogress on your book and maybe you'll get this back.

让我看到你的书有进展说不定你就能拿回这个

But my female elephant has severe ADHD.

可是我的母象患有严重的多动症

If I don't provide her with constant stimuli,

要是我不能持续给她提供外界刺激

She'll suck all the hair off her tail.

它就会啃掉自己尾巴上的毛

What's your elephant's name?

你的大象叫什么名儿

Persephone Cordelia Fitzsimmons.

珀尔塞福涅·科迪莉亚· 菲茨西蒙斯

Trunky.

其实叫小鼻鼻

Oh, yes.

好爽

Oh, that's so good.

真是太爽了

Do it.

用力

Would you look at that?

瞧瞧啊

A new poké place just opened up on Barrington.

巴灵顿新开了一家宝可梦中心

Actor Peter Gallagher

演员皮特·加拉格

has shaved $100,000 off the listing for his home,

将其待售房屋的价格降低了10万美元

which features mature fruit trees.

那可是带成熟果树的房子啊

Imagine that.

想想啊

The bulky item drop-off event is next weekend.

大件物品回收活动就在下周末

We could dispose of the broken wine fridge.

我们可以把那个坏酒柜处理掉

Pull my hair.

扯我头发

What?

什么

Another iOS update?

iOS又更新啦

These things are quite the nuisance, but...

像这种东西真的很麻烦但...

- Choke me. ...- necessary for stability.

-掐我喉咙 -对稳定性有必要

- Almost there. - Oh, my God, Lindsay.

-快到了 -我的天琳赛

Did you know that every time you evacuate your bowels,

你知道吗每当你肠道排便时

- You lose one-third... - Almost there!

-你会排掉... -快到了

- of the bacteria... - I'm almost there!

-1/3的... -我就快高潮了

in your body.

体内细菌

Goddamn it!

该死的

Isn't that amazing?

那很棒不是吗

"Simon startled, pulsing with desire,

"萨蒙惊了身体充斥着欲望

for he had dreamed of Kitty again.

因为他再次梦到了凯蒂

He wondered if at that moment,

他在想在那一刻

She was dreaming of him, moist and..."

她是否也在梦着他湿滑又..."

This is the worst day for me to be absent from the zoo.

今天是最不该缺席动物园的日子

I didn't order extra pellets for the petting zoo.

我没有为爱抚动物园多预定些食物

There's no way that those goats don't develop a taste for human fingers.

那些小山羊肯定爱上了人类手指的味道

Can't do this today.

今天写不下去了

You promised your agent two more chapters by the end of the week.

你承诺你的经纪人周末前再交两章了

Well, we all make promises we can't keep, Killian.

是个人都会做些难以兑现的承诺卡利安

like you, with your Presidential Fitness Challenge.

就像你和你的"总统健身挑战"

Uh, are you okay?

你没事吧

Ever since my dad's roast, I've felt odd.

自从被我爸嘲弄后我就感觉很怪

Just aimless, but suddenly awakened.

失去目标但又突然醒悟

Like I'm accessing areas of my brain

我仿佛突然进入了大脑中

that have been shut off for years.

多年来一直尘封的区域

I feel like Bradley Cooper, you know, in that movie, uh...

我就像布莱德利·库珀那部电影叫...

- Aloha. ...- Limitless.

-《阿罗哈》 -《永无止境》

What is that body of water down there?

下面那片水域是什么

Is it some sort of public wash for the destitute?

那是穷人的公共浴池吗

Have you seriously never been to the reservoir?

你是真的没去过蓄水池吗

There's a park, a running trail,

那有个公园有个跑道

a rec center.

有娱乐中心

Well, that settles that. To the...

就这么定了我决定...

reservoir I shall go.

我要去蓄水池

I'd go with you,

我可以一起

But I'm actually working on a new Dr. Weed video.

但我要做新一期的"大麻医生"视频

Did I ever tell you about my character, Dr. Weed?

我跟你说过我的新角色大麻医生吗

He's this doctor who loves weed, but...

他是一位热爱大麻的医生但是

Mister?

先生

Do you have any extra foods?

有没有多的食物

Lindsay, you're a mess, right?

琳赛你整个人一团糟对吧

Boy howdy.

当然啦

So, what is going on in your life

那么你最近遇到了什么问题

that I can berate you into fixing my way?

能让我臭骂你一顿帮你矫正过来

Let's see.

我想想看

Well, I was having sex with this hunk named Raul,

我之前正和一个叫拉乌的肌肉男做爱

and I was about to splooge,

我马上就要潮吹了

but then paul kept talking and it went back inside.

结果保罗说个不停又被我吸回去了

I still can't believe you're cucking Paul.

我还是不敢相信你在"绿"保罗

- I'm what now? - Cuckolding.

-我什么他 -戴绿帽

It's a subgenre of femdom.

那是"女王主义"的一种

Well, whatever it is, Paul's ruining it.

不管是什么都被保罗毁了

I just want to be normal and cheat on my husband

我只想正常地背叛我的老公

without feeling guilty about it.

且不用有罪恶感

And here you are sulking about it like a loser.

你又像个失败者一样唉声叹气了

You know what winners do?

你知道成功者会怎么做吗

They take what they want, no matter what.

他们随心所欲不计代价

So what are you gonna do about it?

所以你准备怎么做

I'm gonna...

我下次...

tell Paul to go away the next time I want to pork a rando?

和别人做爱时告诉保罗走开吗

And don't you come back without results, young lady,

下次别再无功而返了姑娘

Or else no must see TV for you!

否则就别想看电视了

Why are you being so bossy?

你为何这么蛮横

Not bossy, lindsay.

不是蛮横琳赛

Maternal.

是母性

You retrieved the projectile.

你捡回了我扔的东西

But why?

但为什么呢

Do you guys watch Mr. Robot?

你们看《黑客军团》吗

Okay. Our first letter comes from Randall in Lubbock.

好了第一封信来自卢伯克的兰德尔

"Dear Dr. Weed...

"亲爱的大麻医生

"Every soap I use in the shower

"我洗澡时用过的所有香皂

dries my skin out."

都让我的皮肤变得好干燥"

Randall, this is a very common problem.

兰德尔这是个很常见的烦恼

My diagnosis is --

我的诊断结果是

Twice a day, I want you...

我希望你能每日两次...

to smoke more weed!

再多抽点大麻

What's going on here?

你这是在做什么

Uh, cut.

停

Uh, just answering viewer mail.

回复观众来信

I-I write the questions myself.

其实问题都是我自己写的

So what's the goal with this?

那你做这个的目的是什么

Oh, nothing. It's just something dumb

没什么目的就是录点傻兮兮的视频

I put on the internet for my vet friends.

发到网上逗我那些老兵朋友们笑笑

So you're wasting your most valuable resource...

所以你在浪费你最宝贵的资源

- My talent? - Your time,

-我的天赋吗 -你的时间

for no reason.

且毫无缘由

Edgar, this has potential.

埃德加这是有发展潜力的

Really? Thanks.

真的吗谢谢

Because, you know, I thought...

因为我想...

But just because you got Your period at 11

就因为你在11岁就来月经了

does not make you a woman.

并不代表你就是女人了

Look, if you're gonna do these videos,

听着如果你想做这些视频

You got to do them all the way.

你就要全力以赴

Okay.

好的

First, we're gonna blast the video sites

首先我们要在视频网站刷屏

and anything veteran related.

任何与老兵有关的都不能放过

I'll sneak it to some contacts.

我会推荐给一些有门路的熟人看的

You have a comment from a journalist.

有个记者给你留了条留言

"I'm producing a new piece on

"我在制作一篇关于

how marijuana can help veterans,

大麻是如何帮助老兵的新报道

and I'd love to interview you."

我希望能采访你"

So have you reached out to him?

你联系他了吗

Nah. I don't really want that much attention.

没有我不想获取太多的关注

What's wrong?

怎么了

Are you mad at me?

你生我气了吗

Sometimes I think I care more about this than you do.

有时我觉得自己是皇帝不急太监急

No, no. I'm-I'm sorry.

不不是的真对不起

I was just nervous. I'll e-mail the guy.

我只是紧张我会给那人发电邮的

Is that the shirt you're wearing?

你就穿这件衬衫录视频吗

Shoot it, shoot it, shoot it, shoot it.

快投快投快投

Go in, go in, go in, go in!

投篮投篮

Let's go. Let's run next.

来接着来

You want in?

你想一起打球吗

Well, I am trying new things today.

我今天在尝试新事物

I am in.

我加入

Whose, uh... Whose squad shall I be on?

我我该进哪个小队

The other one.

别进我这队

Screen, screen, screen.

防住防住

You, you, you!

你给你

Watch, screen, screen!

小心防住防住

Shoot it!

投篮

Yes!

太棒了

I win! I win.

我赢了我赢了

What an invigorating hand sport.

真是项令人振奋的手部运动

How often do you, uh, you fellows play?

你们多久玩一次

My ankle!

我的脚踝

W-we forfeit!

我们被迫退赛

My-my team forfeits!

我们队被迫退赛

Nice and clean.

这下干净了

So clean.

太干净了

Bear, can we talk?

熊宝宝我们谈谈好吗

Of course.

当然

I love you so much.

我好爱好爱你

And I want to keep being honest with you.

我希望你一直对你这么坦诚

- Oh, god. - I just noticed

-天啊 -我注意到

how hard It's been for you when Raul is around.

每次拉乌来时你都很难受

So, for your sake,

所以为了你

I'll spend time with him, or whoever,

我和他或者和其他人在一起时

somewhere else, so you won't have to watch.

会另找地方这样你就不用看着了

For you.

为了你

You can't have relations with other men when I'm not there.

你不能在我不在场的情况下和其他男人来往

That's adultery.

那是通奸

Well, you're clearly not enjoying cucking.

你显然对绿帽情节不感兴趣啊

Which is what we're doing.

也就是我们所做的

And it's ruining it for me.

你把我的乐趣都毁了

I am doing the hard work to be a better partner

我为了成为更好的伴侣不畏艰难

and tell you what I need.

告诉你我的需求

And if you can't handle it...

如果你不能接受

I just don't know, Paul.

我也不知道该怎么办了保罗

I just don't know.

我真的不知道了

So...

那么

This cucking is something many women fantasize about?

给老公戴绿帽是很多女人都会幻想的吗

All of them. They all do.

是所有女人她们都想这样

Boy. Now I'm embarrassed by my prudishness.

天啊我这么假正经真是丢人

Well, if this is an established, rudimentary fetish,

如果这是公认的基本的一种癖好

then I suppose I am up for the challenge.

那我想我愿意接受挑战

I'm going to research this fantasy of yours.

我要去研究一下你的这种幻想

You'll see.

你等着瞧吧

I'll be the best cuck ever.

我会成为最绿的绿王八

For our family.

为了我们的家庭

Family.

家庭

Are you sure it's not broken?

你确定我的脚没断吗

It's just a sprain. So what happened?

只是扭伤而已到底怎么回事

I was hooping "B-ball"

我刚刚在和一些

with some diverse local athletes.

其他种族的本地运动员打篮球

Sick.

酷毙了

I am so stoked you called me for this.

你叫我来帮你治疗我真是太激动了

Well, don't have insurance, so...

没保险嘛所以...

Anyway, thanks.

不管怎么说谢了

Uh-uh. We made a deal.

别我们可是作了交易的

- I'm not doing your podcast. - You promised!

-我不会客串你的播客节目的 -你答应过的

I don't care. I'm not...

我不管我不会...

Although, before yesterday, I thought I hated dogs,

话又说回来昨天之前我还以为我讨厌狗

sports, hipster picnics and unrefrigerated cart fruit, too.

运动嬉皮野餐还有未冷藏的街边摊水果

Do you know what? I will do it.

好吧我愿意去参与

Hell yeah! This is gonna the best episode

太棒了那么这一期节目将成为

since Adam Pally did that extended bit

继亚当·裴利特别出镜后最棒的一期了

where he pretended he was pissed

那期他假装生气

and didn't know why he was doing my show.

不知道为什么要给我做播客

You're slouching.

你没精打采的

Okay, almost ready.

差不多准备好了

- Okay. - Good.

-好的 -很好

Edgar, tell the nice man what we talked about.

埃德加告诉这位先生我们谈过的事

What's the blue screen for?

那块蓝幕是用来做什么的

Edgar. You can ask him.

埃德加你可以直接问他

What's the blue screen for?

那块蓝幕是用来做什么的

Oh, uh, we have a really cool digital set

我们有一套很棒的数码场景

that we composite in, like Tosh.0.

可以嵌入进去就跟《托什》节目一样

And this card?

那这块板呢

White balance.

白平衡

White balance.

白平衡

Just bring it up a little bit. Good.

往上拿一点点很好

Okay.

好了

So, can you introduce yourself?

你能介绍一下你自己吗

Well, my name is Edgar Quintero.

我名叫埃德加·坤塔罗

6th battalion, 8th infantry.

隶属第6营第8步兵团

And what's your experience with the V.A. been like?

那你和老兵事务处打交道的感觉怎么样

The V.A. is a great institution,

老兵事务处是个很好的机构

but they're underfunded and understaffed.

但是他们缺资金也缺人手

People are literally dying

很多人真的死了

because they can't get the health care they need.

因为他们得不到需要的医疗救治

And how long have you been treating your PTSD with marijuana?

你用大麻治疗创伤后应激障碍已经多久了

Oh, um, th...

那个

That wasn't...

那不是...

That's not really...

那不是真正的

I'm just not comfortable being so open about my self-medicating.

我对于如此公开谈论我的自我治疗感到不大舒服

Plus, this is all a lot fancier than I expected.

而且这比我预期的要高级多了

They got a blue screen like Tosh.0.

他们还有像《托什》那样的蓝幕

Honey... You're doing great.

亲爱的你做得很棒

Now, if you don't get back out there,

现在如果你不回到那里

We are not stopping for milkshakes on the way home.

我们回家路上就不停下来买奶昔了

I have tried a bunch of treatments,

我已经尝试了很多疗法

but nothing has fixed my PTSD.

但是都治不好我的创伤后应激障碍

Lately though, I found that s...

但是最近我发现

smoking pot has been really effective.

吸大麻真的很有效

I even kind of feel like a real person again.

我甚至有些觉得自己又像个真正的人了

I don't know if marijuana works for everyone,

我不知道大麻是不是对每个人都有效

but it seems to be working for me.

但对我似乎是有效的

Is it bedtime?

到睡觉时间了吗

It's still day.

现在还是白天啊

Bedtime's for night.

睡觉要到晚上啊

As promised, wife, I've been researching

正如我承诺过的老婆我一直在研究

this cuckolding fetish we now have.

那个绿帽癖的事

Certain men intuit

有些男人本能地觉得

that they are genetically inferior beta males.

他们在基因上就注定是下等的男性

So they get aroused by watching their partners copulate

所以通过观看伴侣和其他具有更优秀基因的男子性交

with someone of superior DNA,

可以燃起他们的性欲

e.g. Raul.

比如拉乌

Furthermore, I have a special present for you, my hot wife.

另外我有一份特别的礼物要送你我的娇妻

Where's my present?

我的礼物在哪呢

Right here.

就在这儿

The cage symbolizes the cuck's sexual inferiority

鸡巴笼象征着绿帽老公的性下等地位

and genital unworthiness.

和生殖器的卑劣

By associating sexual arousal with... extreme pain,

将性欲的勃发和巨大的痛楚相连

My body will slowly learn that I do not deserve

我的身体会逐渐意识到我不配获得

erotic satisfaction.

情欲上的满足

Oh, god.

天呐

Okay, Paul...

好吧保罗

Part deux of my surprise.

接下来是惊喜的第二部分

Raul.

拉乌

Raul's friend.

拉乌的朋友

Good day.

白天好啊

You may take what you want.

你们尽情享用我老婆吧

Oh, boy.

天呐

This is humiliating.

这太丢人了

Your genetic superiority is extremely emasculating.

你们的基因优越性简直让我不像个男人

Oh, boy, that's my wife.

天呐那是我老婆

I'm a worm.

我简直是条虫

I'm a worm.

我是条虫

That's my wife!

那是我老婆

I'm a worm! Oh, oh.

我是条虫

The cage!

笼子

Oh, the cage.

笼子

I was not expecting this.

我没料到是这样的

Dude, I have, like, 20,000 subscribers.

兄弟大概有两万人订阅我的节目

Vernon, the guest shower is

弗南客房里的淋浴房

completely clogged by your curly hair.

已经完全被你的卷毛堵住了

I swear to god, if you're not taking your propecia--

我发誓如果你再不用治疗脱毛的药...

Hi, Jimmy. Let's test your levels, huh?

嗨吉米我们来测试一下你的水平

You're on the podcast?

你也主持播客吗

Don't sound so shocked.

别这么震惊

I interned for Frosty, Heidi and Frank.

我去《福罗斯蒂&海蒂&弗兰克秀》当过实习生呢

This is balloon knot media.

这里是气球结传媒

Welcome to Vernon down the house on balloon knot media.

欢迎收听气球结传媒制作的《弗南闲话》

I am Dr. Vernon Barbara,

我是弗南·芭芭拉医生

joined, as always,

我身边依然是

My lovely wife and sidekick.

我可爱的妻子兼助手

Uh, cohost.

是搭档主持

Hey, Bec. Aw, did I say "sidekick" again?

嘿贝卡我刚刚又说"助手"了吗

Hey, Vern. Uh, yeah, you did, you stinker.

嘿弗南你又说了死鬼

Visiting the man cave this week

本周到访男人窝的

is a very special guest; he's a best-selling author,

是一位非常特别的嘉宾他是畅销书作者

and one of my all-time best buds,

也是我最好的兄弟之一

Jimmy Shive-overly.

吉米·希瓦-奥弗利

Welcome, Jimmy.

欢迎光临吉米

Uh, thank you.

谢谢

- So great. - So, Jimmy, where you from?

-太棒了 -吉米你来自哪里

Savannah, Georgia.

乔治亚州萨凡纳市

That's great.

太会说笑了

Uh, I'm actually from a small town outside Manchester.

其实我来自曼彻斯特周边的一座小城

England.

在英格兰

Oh, Jimmy, you are just too much.

吉米你真是太棒了

Ah, that is great stuff.

确实很棒

So, Jimmy, are you in a good place right now?

吉米你最近还好吗

Yes.

好啊

Even with the recent death of your father?

即便你父亲最近刚去世

Oh, yeah. It gets real in the man cave.

没错男人窝采访起来是不留情面的

He made Adam pally cry.

他曾让亚当·裴利落泪

That guy's got some stuff.

那家伙真是有料

Dra-ma!

抓马

Well, we had a memorial service the other day.

前几天我们办了个追悼会

That helped me get some closure.

算是帮我做了一点了结吧

And why was closure important?

为什么了结这么重要

well, I guess my role in the family

我觉得我在我们家所扮演的角色

was basically to annoy him, so...

基本就是惹火他所以....

So you could get the attention you wouldn't otherwise get.

所以你才能得到你原本无法获得的关注

Is that why you moved to L.A., became a writer?

那是你搬到洛城成为作家的原因吗

Had your nipple pierced for two weeks,

你还在你乳头上穿了两周的环

or fostered that boa constrictor?

甚至养大蟒蛇的原因吗

Aw, Squeezy.

对哦小捏捏

Sounds like quite the weight has been lifted off you, then.

听起来你已经卸下心里的负担了啊

Yeah.

是啊

Guess it sort of has.

似乎的确如此

So, what's next for Jimmy?

吉米你接下来有什么打算

I've been working on my new book.

我在写新书

Although, to be honest,

虽然说实话

I haven't been getting much writing done lately.

我最近压根没写多少字

But I thought you only became a writer to piss off your dad.

但我以为你成为作家只是为了气你爸

Yes, I did become a writer to make him angry.

没错我当作家确实是为了惹他生气

So, if he's gone,

那么现在他已经不在了

why are you still living your life in reaction to him?

你为什么还要按照和他对立的方式度过自己的人生

So, if I'm not writing,

那么如果我不再写作了

because I have no one to write against anymore...

因为我没人可气了

Who am I?

那么我是谁

- That's what I'm saying. - That's what he's saying.

-我就是这意思 -他就是这意思

Insight.

洞察力啊

I can start over now.

我现在可以重新开始了

Not in reaction to anyone,

不是为了气某个人

But in accordance to my authentic self,

而是可以顺应真实的自我

whomever I was meant to be!

我想成为什么样的人都可以

Oh, my god!

天啊

What if what I was actually meant to do is...

如果我注定要成就的事业是...

I'm gonna stop you right there. Got to pay some bills. Bec?

我得打住你了要接点广告支付费用贝卡

This week's Vernon Down the House

本期的《弗南闲话》节目

is exclusively sponsored by Red Napkin.

是由红餐巾独家赞助的

Guys, I love Red Napkin, for so many reasons.

各位我真的好爱红餐巾理由太多了

You know how sometimes you want a za'atar-spiced fennel stromboli,

你们都知道有时候会很想吃中东香料料理馅饼

but you don't want to leave the house?

但你却不想出门去买

Hey, hon, you hungry?

亲爱的你饿了吗

Don't "Hon" Me!

别叫我亲爱的

Look at what you did.

看看你都干了什么好事

Those numbers don't lie!

这些数字是不会说谎的

You know what else doesn't lie?

你们知道还有什么不会撒谎吗

War heroes!

战争英雄

My name is Edgar Quintero, 6th battalion, 8th infantry.

我叫埃德加·坤塔罗隶属第6营第8步兵团

Smoking pot fixed my ptsd.

抽大麻治好了我的创伤后应激障碍

The V.A.... expects all of us...to shut the hell up.

老兵事务处希望我们都闭嘴

Marijuana works for everyone.

大麻适合每个人

People are literally dying

真的有很多人死了

Because they can't get marijuana.

就因为他们得不到大麻

死亡

People literally... Dying.

真的有很多人死了

They're... Dying. People... Are dying.

他们死了真的有很多人死了

老兵没有大麻抽=政府谋杀

革命

You got me in with the pot people.

你把我和那些大麻党搞在一起了

They're the worst people.

他们是最糟糕的人

Worse than people who study abroad or atheists or...

比那些出国留学的人或无神论者还要糟糕

Ooh, what about children of celebrities

那那些星二代呢

who pretend that it didn't help their careers.

他们都假装大麻对他们的事业没有帮助

These pot activists leech off of people with legitimate problems

那些大麻激进分子从真正有问题的人身上吸血啊

In order to further their agenda,

就为了推进他们的目标

Which is just getting high!

而他们的目标就是获得快感

Why did you make me do this?!

你为什么要让我做这种事

I was looking out for your best interests.

我是为你的最大利益考虑

Yeah, well, I'm done with Dr. Weed.

好吧我再也不会靠大麻来治疗了

If I quit every time my mother pushed me to do something hard,

如果我妈每次逼我做很难的事我都甩手不干

I wouldn't have... I-I...

我就不会...我...

Okay, well, I guess I did quit eventually

好吧我后来好像的确是甩手不干了

To start doing drugs and having unprotected sex with college boys.

去吸毒和大学生无套做爱

But the point...

但重点是...

No! No more advice!

够了别再给我建议了

I hate you.

我讨厌你

I was trying to help you fill your...

我只是想帮你...

Look what I made! I went to kinko's.

瞧瞧我做了什么我去了金考快印店

Talked to some undergrads making a 'zine.

跟一些正在做图文编辑的大学生聊了聊

It's a lovely place. Anyway, turns out

那真是个好地方总之我发现

I've been living my entire life in opposition to my father.

我一直在按照和我爸对立的方式来过我的人生

And now that he's dead, I have no idea who I really am.

现在他死了我就搞不清自己是谁了

Am I even a writer? Who knows?

我是个作家吗谁知道呢

Maybe I'm meant to be a master carpenter,

或许我的真正使命是成为木匠大师

Slash tree house architect, slash singer-songwriter.

兼树屋建筑师兼歌手-词曲作家

Anyways, although my zoo animals are likely dead

总之尽快我的动物们很可能都死了

Or escaped, I'd like to thank you for taking that router

或是逃跑了我还是想感谢你收走路由器

And forcing me to explore the world.

并强迫我探索这个世界

Okay.

好了

I'm gonna go into the backyard

我先去后院了

and test some branches for load-bearing capacity.

测试下某些树枝的载重能力

保罗=地板虫需要堕胎速来在玛丽·卡伦德餐厅见行吗

Oh, sorry.

不好意思

Look... Jesus christ.

当心点天啊

Ugh, what is that?! What...

那是什么鬼东西天啊

Order mozzarella sticks like a person.

像正常人一样点奶酪棒吃啊

Anyway, I-I don't want you to cream your jeans or anything

总之我也不希望你把奶酪弄到牛仔裤上

'cause I know they're your only pair,

因为我知道你就这么一条

But maybe my mom wasn't so great.

但或许我妈没那么好

Seriously? What, did you hack my e-mail?

不是吧你你竟然黑了我的邮件吗

I mean, the pressure made me rad,

那巨大的压力让我狂暴

But have you ever slept with no sheets?

但你睡过没有床单的床吗

So scratchy.

真的好痒

Five out of ten. Would bang.

满分十分打5分可以上床

Yup, that's her.

没错就是她

Actually, That was the first time I fell into a depression.

实际上那是我第一次抑郁

it was after a tennis match and I had won,

那是在一次网球赛后我打赢了

But not by enough, 'cause it was never enough.

但比分差距拉得不够大永远都是不够好

And my mom was doing this... this food withholding thing.

我妈就不给我吃饭

I think she saw something about it on a tv show

我觉得那好像是她在电视上看到的妙招

as a way to control your dog or something.

是一种控制狗狗的方法什么的

我爱上的人是奇葩 第三季 You're the Worst Season 3 第8集: 基因欠佳绿帽奴 Genetically Inferior Beta Males

台词

我爱上的人是奇葩第三季 You're the Worst Season 3 第8集: 基因欠佳绿帽奴 Genetically Inferior Beta Males