You know that feeling when a guy you like sends you a text
at two o'clock on a Tuesday
night asking if he can come and find you,
and you've accidentally
made it out like you've just got in yourself,
so you have to get out of bed, drink wine, get in the shower,
所以你不得不从床上起来 喝点酒 洗好澡
shave everything, dig out some Agent Provocateur business -
suspender belt, the whole bit -
and wait by the door until the buzzer goes?
And then you open the door to him,
like you've almost forgotten he's coming over.
And then you get to it immediately.
After some pretty standard bouncing, you realise...
...he's edging towards your arsehole.
But you're drunk
and he made the effort to come all the way here,
so you let him. He's thrilled.
And then the next morning, you wake to find him...
fully dressed, sat on the side of the bed, gazing at you.
衣冠端正 坐在你的床边 凝视着你
- He says that... - Last night was incredible.
Which you think is an overstatement,
but then he goes on to say that...
It was particularly special because...
...I've never managed to actually...
...up the bum with anyone before.
To be fair, he does have a large penis.
And although it's always been a fantasy of mine, I've...
never found anyone I could do it with.
And then he touches your hair...
...and thanks you with a genuine, earnest...
It's sort of moving.
Then he kisses you gently.
And then he leaves.
And you spend the rest of the day wondering...
Do I have a massive arsehole?
This doesn't happen very often, does it?
It's quite rare, yeah.
Are you going to work?
- No, actually... - OK, this is going to sound crazy
-不 实际上 -好吧 这听起来会很疯狂
but I think that I should take your number
and I think I should call it,
and I think I should ask
you if you want to go out for a drink with me.
Fuck me! You've got a boyfriend?
No, we broke up quite recently, actually.
My God. I'm so sorry/really pleased.
天呐 我很抱歉 同时也很开心听到这个
How the hell did he manage to fuck that up?
'Power rarely gives up without a fight...
'..Particularly in places where there are divisions of tribe,
'We also know that populism can take dangerous turns.
'And there will be difficult days along the way.
'From the extremism of those who would use democracy
'to deny minority rights to the nationalism that left...'
- What are you doing? - Nothing!
- I know what you were doing. - I was watching the news.
- Really? - Yeah.
What was he talking about, then?
- What? - Please, I just need to hear this.
-什么 -拜托 我需要听你说
What was he talking about?
Don't say anything.
And please don't stop me leaving.
- Please don't! - OK.
Look, I've really tried to be there for you through this.
You can't say I haven't tried.
Don't say anything. And please don't contact me
or turn up at my house drunk
in your underwear. It won't work this time.
I'm taking that posh shampoo.
He was talking about democ...
...really kind and supportive with my work.
He'd cook all the time, run baths, hoover.
他总是下厨做饭 放洗澡水 给家里除尘
He'd laugh at all of my jokes.
He was really great with my family, my friends loved him.
Plus, he was really fucking affectionate.
- Sounds like a dickhead. - Yeah.
So, was that, like, "You CAN have my number,"
Or...? What are we...?
Yes. Yeah, I guess that's a yes.
是的 是 我估计是的
And I'll be sure to treat you like a nasty little bitch.
- That was a joke. - No, I know.
-那是个笑话 -哦 我知道
- I know! - OK. I was, like, "Oh!"
-我知道 -好 我还以为我说错了什么
I'll buzz you, then?
I can't stop smiling. Sorry, I...
我止不住笑 抱歉 我
Thank you for coming in today.
We really appreciate you considering us
for your small business start-up loan.
I've read your application form.
- Thank you. - It was...
OK, that wasn't my intention, but...
好吧 这虽然不是我的本意 但是
As you are probably aware,
we haven't had the opportunity to support many -
any - women-led businesses since the...
任何 女性发起的事业 自从那次
Sexual harassment case.
The sexual harassment case.
- Are you all right? - Yeah, sorry. I just...
-你没事吧 -没事 抱歉 我只是
I ran from the station, so I'm just a bit hot.
- I'm really excited about... - Water?
No, thanks. I'm fine.
不 谢谢你 我没事
Actually, yeah, water would be great. If I could...
实际上 好的 来点水挺好的 如果我能
Sure. There are a couple of details that we need to iron out,
and one or two bits and
pieces I'm going to need to see some more on.
that you opened a business with your partner...
I'm sorry, that kind of
thing won't get you very far here any more.
No, sorry. I thought I had a top on underneath.
不 不好意思 我还以为我里面还穿了一件衣服
Yeah, OK. - No, seriously. In this case, genuine accident.
-好的 好 -真的 我说真的 这件事情绝对是个意外
I can see, given our history, why you might think...
我明白 鉴于我们的历史 你为什么这么想
No! Seriously, I wasn't trying to. I was hot.
不 我说真的 我并没有想做什么 我只是很热
I take this kind of thing very seriously.
I'm not trying to shag you! Look at yourself!
No, you don't understand. I NEED this...
不 你不明白 我需要这个
- I need this loan. - Please, just leave.
'The lecture will commence shortly.'
My sister. She's uptight and beautiful and probably anorexic,
我姐姐 她是个特别保守 但很漂亮 可能带点厌食症的女人
but clothes look awesome on her, so...
You're almost late.
Had to do a flash poo in Pret.
Christ. Did you wash your hands?
My God! You are disgusting! Fucking hell.
上苍啊 你真恶心 去你的
Of course I washed my hands.
It's not like I grew up without a mother.
- Heard from Dad? - No.
Dad's way of coping with two motherless daughters
was to buy us tickets to feminist lectures,
start fucking our godmother and eventually stop calling.
You look tired. - Thanks.
I've been sleeping really well recently.
I'm wearing the top that she "Lost" Years ago, so...
我现在穿着的这件上衣 是她几年前“弄丢”的 所以
this is going to be tense.
- Do you want to take your coat off? - No.
So, any luck...
- God, can we just have two seconds... - I was going to ask
-上帝啊 我们就不能有两秒钟的 -我刚刚要问
- about the cafe. - I don't want to talk about it yet.
- We won't talk, then. - Fine.
- Hair looks nice. - Fuck off.
The only thing harder
than having to tell your super-high-powered,
perfect, anorexic, rich super-sister
that you've run out of money
is having to ask her to bail you out.
I'm just going to ask her.
I'm just going to ask her.
I'm just going to ask her. I'm just going to come...
- Do you need to borrow money? - No!
I can't do it. I can't do it, I can't do it.
我做不到 我做不到 我做不到
- So business is good, then? - Yeah.
It's good. It's really good.
It's really, really good. Yeah, it's really good.
真的真的很好 是的 真的很好
Sounds like it's really good.
- Can I get you anything? - No, thanks, I'm good.
-您需要点什么 -不了 谢谢你 我不用
Are you sure I can't get you anything at all?
If you see him, I'm a wreck, OK?
如果你看见他 我就是个混蛋 好吗
God! Just don't get drunk and scream through his letterbox again.
Thanks for the vote of confidence.
Don't get drunk and shit in your sink again.
When are you going to stop bringing that up?
When you do something better.
I have two degrees, a husband and a Burberry coat.
我有双学位学历 有老公 还有一件巴宝莉的大衣
You shat in a sink.
- Hi. - Thank you. - No problem.
-嗨 -谢谢 -没事
Nothing is ever going to be better.
I swear there are pants that give you thrush.
What are yours made from?
I need to get sexy pants.
I hate my body, I hate my body, I hate my body, I hate my body.
我讨厌我的身材 讨厌我的身材 讨厌我的身材 讨厌我的身材
Fucking last-minute bastard trendy parties.
Why do we do it to ourselves?
My God. Definitely not. That does nothing for you.
天啊 别穿这件 对你不仅没增光反而添丑啊
These are MY clothes, Boo. I've been wearing these all day.
Were you wearing your coat?
Nothing here looked nice,
so I thought I'd wear what I was wearing anyway.
- My... - It's not really that bad at all.
- Why didn't you tell me? - I love you.
I'll buy... - I've got to get a whole new outfit now.
I'll buy you pants.
- I'll buy you sexy pants. - I've been so many places today!
- I'll buy you sexy pants! - Fuck off.
I'm sorry. I think it's a lovely dress.
I mean, you really shouldn't wear such cheap materials.
They don't let your fanny breathe.
Gosh, look at you all.
Thank you so much for coming to Women Speak,
opening women's mouths since 1998.
Before we begin, I would like to ask you a question.
I don't know about you...
but I need some reassurance.
So I pose the question to the women in this room today.
Please raise your hands...
...if you would trade...
five years of your life...
...for the so-called perfect body.
We are bad feminists.
- I want my top back. - OK.
- Won't you get cold? - Nah, I've got really hairy nipples.
-你不会冷吗 -不会 我胸前毛发旺盛着呢
- Fuck! - Fuck! What was that?
-玛德 -玛德 你要干嘛
- Jesus! - A fucking hug!
Well, why the fuck did you do that?
That's terrifying. Never do that again.
I was just trying to...
- Are you OK? - Yeah.
Do you want to go for a drink, or...?
- I've got plans. - OK, fine. Sure.
-我有安排了 -好吧 行 没事
See you next time, Women Speak, then.
Do you want to go for a drink?
My sister blows glass. She has done for a long time.
I've never been in a fight.
Well, I've been in a fight. Never been punched in the face.
I've been punched in the leg.
And someone once threw some punch in my face.
So, my colours this season are sort of brown, mainly.
But, like, you know, I wouldn't say no to a maroon.
但是 你懂的 我不会拒绝孤苦伶仃的人
I wouldn't, like, jump down the throat of someone
我不会 比如说 对那些穿着猥琐的人
wearing something blue. It's just not for me.
I'm going to go for a wazz. You... OK.
我要去撒尿 那你 好吧
Same again, while I'm up? Or perhaps, like, a little cocky-tail?
再说一次 趁我还清醒着 或者是 比方说 来点鸡尾酒
Or, like, a nice shot?
Yeah, or we could just go back to mine.
I've actually got work tomorrow, but, another drink here...
其实我明天还有事要做 但是 要是在这再来一杯的话
- Or we could go back to yours. - Got to be up really early.
- I'll get you a cab in the morning. - That's ridiculous! My God!
-我早上替你叫车 -真荒唐 我的天
OK, what the fuck is your problem?
- Wait... - Don't follow me.
You're such a lovely man.
- OK. - Thank you.
Stay there, stay there. You OK?
站那别动 别动 你没事吧
Do you... Do you want to come home with me?
Ooh! Sing a song, Boo-Boo.
Another lunch break another portion
Another piece of cake
Another two Fuck it - 20
-又两支 -放开点 二十支
Let's never ask anyone for anything. They don't get it.
I'm... I'm absolutely fine.
It's nothing. It doesn't...
-It's... - You know, it's nearly two o'clock in the morning.
-只是 -你知道 现在快凌晨两点了
Yeah, OK. I'm... I don't want to...
是啊 嗯 我 我不想
I have a horrible feeling that I'm a greedy, perverted, selfish,
我觉得我是个贪婪 堕落 自私
apathetic, cynical, depraved,
冷漠 愤世嫉俗 低俗卑鄙
morally bankrupt woman, who can't even call herself a feminist.
You get all that from your mother.
I'm going to call you a cab, darling.
please don't go upstairs.
To be fair, she's not an evil stepmother.
She's just a cunt.
Darling, I thought that must be you.
- Everything all right? - Yeah, I just thought I'd swing by.
-近来如何啊 -挺好 我刚才还想着来看看你呢
How lovely. Lucky us.
Don't worry - Dad's already booking me a taxi.
Painting. I find the night-times very...
Look, I know it's not really my place, but are you OK?
听着 我知道是我多管闲事 但是你还好吗
- Everyone's been really worried. - Poor fucker.
Yes, she's actually an
expression of how women are subtle warriors.
We don't have to use muscular force to get what we want.
- We just use our... - Tits.
Tits don't get you anywhere these days.
It's very valuable, actually.
- How much? - Thousands.
I think I can hear your dad.
- Thanks! - Nice of him.
Please look after yourself.
You really do look ghastly, darling.
It's... It's quite a funny story, actually.
No, that's good. It'll keep me going.
没事 挺好的 我挺爱听这种的
- I opened the cafe with my friend Boo. - Cute name. - Yeah.
-我跟一个叫波的朋友合开咖啡馆 -这名字不错 -嗯
Yeah, she's dead now. She accidentally killed herself.
嗯 不过她已经去世了 她一不小心把自己弄死了
Wasn't her intention, but it wasn't a total accident.
She didn't actually think she'd die. She just...
found out that her boyfriend fucked someone else
and wanted to punish him by ending up in hospital,
not letting him visit her for a bit.
She decided to walk into a busy cycle lane,
wanting to get tangled in a bike - break a finger, maybe.
As it turns out, bikes go fast and flip you into the road.
Three people died. She was such a dick.
So, yeah. Kind of on my own.
所以 对 算是我自己开店