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- Oh! - Oh, look at me.
-喔 -哦 快看我
I want to see those tiny things again.
我想再看看你的小奶子
Stay sexy. Stay sexy.
要性感 要性感
- OK. Yeah! - They are so fucking tiny.
-喔 爽 -可真是够小的
There's always a stage when someone's falling
总会有这样的情况
in love with you that they lose their erection.
有人实在是太爱你了 爱到小弟弟都硬不起来了
They get confused, they panic, the stakes get too high,
他们迷茫 他们恐慌 他们害怕失去
the blood rushes from their dick to their heart.
血液从下半身涌到心里去了
- Jesus. - And everything is fucked.
-老天 -然后就没有然后了
No, I don't think Hillary is going to want to hear this.
没 我觉得希拉里肯定不愿意听到这个消息
OK, an 11-year-old boy was put in juvenile prison
好吧 一个十一岁小男孩被关进少管所了
for repeatedly sticking rubber ended pencils
原因是他一直拿铅笔的橡皮头
up his school hamster's arsehole.
戳他们学校仓鼠的屁股
Why would they do that?
他们干嘛要这样
Apparently he liked it when their eyes popped out.
看来他挺喜欢看仓鼠眼睛凸出来的样子
No, why would they send him away?
不是 他们干嘛要把他关起来
She was a surprising person.
她挺不走寻常路的
They shouldn't have just locked him up.
他们不该只是把他关起来
He pencil-fucked a hamster.
他可是用铅笔操仓鼠的人啊
Yeah, but he's obviously not happy,
是啊 但他很显然并不幸福
happy people wouldn't do things like that.
幸福的人不会做这种事的
- Fair point. - And anyway,
-说得对 -而且啊
that's the very reason
就是因为这样
why they put rubbers on the end of pencils.
所以才要在铅笔上安橡皮头嘛
To fuck hamsters?
就为了操仓鼠吗
No, because people make mistakes.
不是 因为人们会犯错误啊
Look, about last night.
听着 昨晚的事
I don't usually connect with women.
我不常对女人产生感情
I know, that's what I like about you.
我知道 我就喜欢你这点
This must be what insecure feels like.
不安恐怕就是这种感觉
Actually, can we speak about this later?
其实 这件事我们可以以后再谈吗
I want to find the right words for you.
我要好好想想怎么跟你说
I'll see you at the sexhibition?
那就性展会上见了
- Yeah, I'll see you there. - I'm going to go to yoga.
-好 在那见吧 -我要去做瑜伽了
- Marvellous. - I'm so relieved you're here.
-太棒了 -你能来真是太好了
And, hello, good looking.
你也好啊 帅哥
- Well clung to. - Thank you.
-看你们好恩爱啊 -谢谢
Does it get very boring,
你是不是都听腻了
everyone telling you how gorgeous you are all the time?
总有人夸你帅
- A little. - Should we...
-有点吧 -要不我们
Yes, I won't forget this, I promise.
没错 我不会忘记的 真的
Sure. Is Claire here yet?
没事 克莱尔到了吗
No, not yet, you're an angel for being here.
没 还没有 你能来真太好了
Would you just hold on to that?
你能端一下吗
There are bottles for topping up on the little bar just inside.
里面的小吧台上有续杯用的酒
I'm the luckiest thing to have you.
有你帮我真是感激不尽
No, really, though, this sexhibition
不 不过 其实 这个性展会
isn't about me trying to get you all aroused,
不是为了让你们性奋才办的
it's about the beauty of sex.
而是为了展示性的美好
And how it brings us all together.
还有性是怎么让我们走到一起的
How it excites and connects, how it opens people's minds,
如何让人兴奋 让人们互相联系 如何让人开放心胸
after all, sex got us all here.
毕竟 是性让我们来到这世界
I've been building this sexhibition since I was 11 and a quarter,
我从十一岁多一点就开始在筹备这次性展会了
which is when I first climaxed by accident on a bidet.
当时我在坐式浴盆里意外高潮了
The bidet is, of course,
当然了 那个浴盆
exhibited here, as are all
正在这里展览 作为
of the pieces from my first ever sexhibition.
我首次性展会的所有展品之一
All apart from one.
但只有一件展品不在这里
A few weeks ago one of my
几周前我工作室里的一件
most delicate pieces was stolen from my studio.
最珍贵的展品被偷走了
But in a sense it was a blessing.
但是塞翁失马焉知非福
In fact, her brutal snatching
事实上 她的野蛮掠夺
made me think of the women of the world
使我想到世界上那些
they've been robbed of their freedom, of their happiness, and,
被夺走自由 幸福 以及
in the saddest of cases, of their bodies.
最不幸的 身体被掠夺的女性们
So in many ways I have to thank the thief for creating my most
所以我十分感谢那名窃贼 是她让我创造出了
profound piece of work to date...
我至今为止最深刻的一件作品
Now, I would ask you all to leave your genitals at the door
现在 请你们把不纯洁的心思都扔到门外
and bring your minds to these pieces.
用你们的思想来欣赏这些展品
I don't believe people always
我不相信当人们看见裸体时
think about sex when they see a naked body,
会只想着性事
I believe they think about their own minds, their own bodies,
我相信他们会想到自己的思想 自己的身体
and their own power.
和自己的力量
And that's what this show is really about...
而这场展览正是有关于此
...it's about power.
关于力量
Claire, it's me, just wondering where you are,
克莱尔 是我 就想问问你在哪
because I am very much here and waiting for you.
因为我在这里全心全意地等你呢
Dammit, Claire. Have you
该死 克莱尔 你有没有
seen a sort of stressed out version of me
在哪里见过
Is it weird that my mouth's watering?
我竟然会流口水是不是很奇怪啊
It's really fantastic work, honestly, it's amazing.
真是很精彩的展品 真的 非常棒
Yes, it's extraordinary.
是啊 非常不错
Really, really moving.
非常 非常感人
Present. I'd love one of these on my floor...
很前卫 要是我家也能有一件就好了
...like a rug with perks.
比方说竖满旗杆的地毯之类的
I'm sure you would, but it's
我知道你想要 但是现在
very securely nailed to the wall this evening.
这些固定措施是非常牢固的
- Have you found your father yet?
你发现你爸了没有
- Yes, I think he's by the coats.
嗯呐 他好像在衣帽间那里
No, no, have you found your father yet?
不 不是 你发现你爸了没有
It's just so very obvious to me.
我一眼就能看出来哦
Look, about this morning...
听着 今天早上
Listen, what I was trying to say is...
听着 我想说的是
- Here we go. - I didn't
-来了来了 -我本来
realise this until we were having sex earlier and
没注意到 直到我们之前上床 然后
- I lost my... - Erection.
-我没能 -勃起
- Erection. - One more time.
-勃起 -你说什么
But it made me realise... I'm in love.
但是这使我醒悟 我发现了真爱
OK, I mean, I don't really know what to...
好吧 我是说 我不知道怎么
I don't want to have sex with anyone else,
我不想跟其他人滚床单了
and that's never happened to me before.
这是前所未有的情况
And I need to tell her.
我得告诉她
- Her? - Yeah, we've been together for a couple of months.
-她 -是啊 我们在一起几个月了
And physically she just never satisfied me,
在身体上她从没满足过我
she has these really massive,
她的胸又大
bouncy tits that really don't do anything for me.
又有弹性 但对我来说没什么用
And you just kept turning up like this sexy...
而你一直表现得像个性感的
I just don't think I should
我觉得我不该
be fucking around behind her back any more.
再背着她乱搞了
I just thought I should say that I am
我觉得我应该跟你
God, no, my ex is due back any day now anyway, so,
天啊 没事 反正我前任随时都可能回到我身边 所以
I... I knew you wouldn't give a shit.
我 我就知道你不会在意这种事的
I'm sorry, I don't give a shit.
对不起 我不在意
Never wear padding, OK?
永远别穿胸垫 好吗
Claire, where are you?
克莱尔 你在哪
I can't survive much longer in this sea of penises.
我要淹死在鸡巴的海洋里了
I don't know anyone. And, so...
我一个人都不认识 而且
What did she do to you?
她对你做了什么
We just, you know, covered me in plaster and
就是 你懂的 把我用石膏糊满
left me in the garden for a couple of hours.
然后在院子里晾了几小时
It's so good to see you.
能见到你真是太好了
I'm just going to go and browse around.
我要到处去逛逛了
It was really nice to meet you.
很高兴见到你
- We're... - Did you see that
-我们 -你见到
really good-looking guy that came in with me?
跟我一起来的那个帅哥了吗
No, but I saw a really
没有 不过我见到
good-looking guy on his motorbike outside, why?
外面有个超帅的哥们骑摩托走了 怎么
Yeah, that's, he, well, he and I...
对 就是他 呃 我和他
Yeah, he just dumped me, so...
嗯 他刚刚甩了我 所以
This is very... you.
这可真是 挺像你的
Yeah, yeah, she said you were cool with us doing...
是 是的 她说你一点都不在意我们做
I don't... I don't know why she...
我不 我不知道她为什么
...where's my penis?
我的阴茎去哪里了
It's on the wall over there, second from the left.
在那边的墙上 左数第二个
I should probably go and find Elaine,
我应该过去找伊莱恩了
she doesn't like being left on her own.
她不喜欢被落下一个人
You've still got some stuff at the flat.
你在公寓里面还有东西没拿走
I've been rolling around in my lingerie,
我还一直在轮换着穿我的内衣
all over it, waiting for you to come and collect it.
全部都穿一遍 等着你来 等你来拿走
- Yeah... - Just your Tupperware,
-是啊 -就只有你的特百惠
and your TV, and your dinosaur plate.
你的电视 还有你的恐龙盘子
I got a new dinosaur plate, but...
我买了个新的恐龙盘子 但
thank you, but, you can keep those.
谢谢你 但你可以留着那些东西
do you still wank about me sometimes?
你有时候还会想着我手淫吗
Claire. My God, it's been hell, where have you been?
克莱尔 我的天 这里简直是地狱 你去哪里了
We almost didn't make it, but...
我们差点赶不过来 但
We didn't want to let the old boy down.
我们不想让老朋友们失望
- I thought... - We're just going
-我以为 -我们只是来
to do a quick whizz around, to show our faces.
草草地逛一圈 露露脸
We're just going to do a quick whizz around.
我们就来很快地逛一圈
Sorry, could you just,
不好意思 你能
could you do something with those? Thank you.
你能去上酒吗 谢谢
The joys of butter-fingered staff.
新员工不小心的失误
Stop making a spectacle of yourself and clean that up.
别给你自己丢人现眼的 把这儿清理干净
You clean that up.
你去清理干净
Turns out I'm not such a natural after all.
看来我并不是那么天生做这个的
I'm just going to say this once...
我只说一次
I deserve to be happy, I am allowed to move on,
我值得获得幸福 我可以往前看
I have a good life and I'm happy, all right?
我有一个好的生活 而且我很快乐 好吗
All right? If you don't mind...
好吗 如果你不介意的话
...I'm going to go and get...
我要过去 去拿
...my cardy from the car.
去我车上拿我的羊毛衫
It's a little chilly.
这里有些冷了
I'm sorry you had to hear that...
我很抱歉你要听刚才那番话
...but you did have to hear it.
但你不得不听刚才那番话
No, no, she'll do it.
不 不 她会清理的
- What the fuck was that? - What is he doing here?
-刚刚是发生什么了 -他在这里做什么
You're not going to Finland.
你没有要去芬兰
What are you doing here?
你在这里做什么
- He is... - He didn't try to kiss you.
-他是 -他没有要吻你
- He did. - He says it was more like the other way around.
-他吻了 -他说那更像是你要吻他
Well, that's just not true.
可 可那不是真的
- Claire. - Please don't...
-克莱尔 -你别
- No, Claire, he came out into the garden...
-不 克莱尔 他走到花园
- I don't want to hear it. - Claire, you have to believe me.
-我不想听这个 -克莱尔 你要相信我
How can I believe you?
我怎么样才能相信你
Because I'm your sister.
因为我是你妹妹
After what you did to Boo?
在你对小波做了那样的事情之后吗
He slept with someone else, he said,
他和别人上床了 他说
he told me he fucked someone else.
他告诉我他上了别人
but you just have to see it from my point of view.
但是你要从我的角度看问题
I think I love him.
我觉得我爱上了他了
I'm going to hurt myself, I'm going to get hit by a bike,
我要伤害我自己 我要去被自行车撞到
and then hurt my finger and
然后弄伤我的手指
then he's going to have to come and see me
那他就会来医院看我
in the hospital and be really sorry for what he did.
然后对他的所作所为感到抱歉
I don't know where you came from.
我不知道你是从哪里来的
What, you don't think we are the same?
什么 难道不觉得我俩很相像吗
You have the same lines on your forehead as me.
你额头上有和我一样的纹路
Thank you for fixating on them.
谢谢你关注到这一点
- And you're stubborn. - Snap.
-而且你也很固执 -闭嘴
- And sad. - Not born sad.
-还很悲伤 -并不是生来如此
- Some people are. - You weren't.
-有些人就是 -但你不是
Jesus, why do daughters get
上帝啊 为什么女儿们可以
to say that they're fucked up by their fathers
说她们的人生是被她们的父亲搞砸的
when it's so often the other way round?
但其实事实总是反过来的呢
Why do you do that to yourself?
你为什么这样对待自己
I think your mother would
我觉得你妈妈会
have admired your little performance up there.
欣赏你在楼上的精彩表演
Do you ever think about her?
你有想过她吗
Do you think about your friend?
你会想你的朋友吗
- All the time. - Well...
-一直想 -那么
...think you should go.
觉得你应该离开了
'Hi, this is Boo. I can't come to the phone right now,
嗨 我是小波 我现在接不了电话
'but please leave me a messiagio and I'll get back to you.'
请留言 我稍后回电
'Hi, this is Boo. I can't come to the phone right now,
嗨 我是小波 我现在接不了电话
'but please leave me a messiagio and I'll get back to you.'
请留言 我稍后回电
I thought in the application for your loan it said you ran a cafe
我看到你的贷款申请上写着你有一家咖啡馆
That's why I thought it was funny. I...
这是我为什么觉得有趣的原因 我
never thought guinea pigs needed...
从来没有想过豚鼠需要
It's guinea pig themed.
这里是以豚鼠为主题的
- OK. - Yeah. - That makes sense.
-好吧 -好的 -这就合乎情理了
Can I get you a cup of tea?
需要我给你倒杯茶吗
Well, I should probably be heading back to the office.
那么 我应该回办公室去了
Cafes are a very...
咖啡馆是非常
difficult business.
难做的生意
You've certainly made this one very...
你的确把这一家办的非常
I also fucked it into liquidation.
我同样把它开到破产清算的份儿上了
And I fucked up my family.
我还扰乱了我的家人
And I fucked my friend by fucking her boyfriend.
我还上了我朋友的男朋友 因此害死了我的朋友
And sometimes I wish I didn't even know that fucking existed.
有时候我希望我不知道那场做爱曾经存在过
And I know that my body, as it is now,
我知道我的身体 就现在而言
really is the only thing I have left,
真的是我唯一剩下的东西了
and when that gets old and unfuckable I may as well just kill it.
当我变老了 不能再做爱了 我还不如了结自己
And somehow there isn't anything worse...
不知怎么我觉得没有人愿意上我
...than someone who doesn't want to fuck me.
才是对我来说最糟糕的事情
I fuck everything...
我什么事都办不好
...except for when I was in your office,
除了我去你办公室的时候
I really wasn't trying to have sex.
我真的不是想和你上床
You know, everyone feels like this a little bit,
你知道吗 所有人都或多或少是这样
and they're just not talking about it,
但是他们从来不会开口谈论
or I'm completely fucking alone...
而我就彻底的孤单一人
...which isn't fucking funny.
这他妈的一点都不好笑
...I should probably...
我大概应该
...I should probably...
我大概应该
...I should probably...
我大概应该
People make mistakes.
人都会犯错误
It's why they put rubbers on the ends of pencils.
这就是为何他们会给铅笔装上橡皮头的原因
I think we should start your interview again.
我觉得我们应该再面试你一次
Well, thank you for coming in.
嗯 谢谢你的前来
I've read through your application form.
我看过你的申请表了
It says you run a cafe for guinea pigs.
上面写着你为豚鼠开了一家咖啡馆
Told you it was funny.
我告诉过你这很有意思了