马男波杰克第五季双语台词对白剧本

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翻译小酸奶萌Su

翻译斗斗吃冰棒

校对小酸奶

Yes, yes, I see you. Get in. Get in.

行了行了看见你了快上车吧

时间轴荞麦麦

后期吉吉

Your mother's having another one of her episodes.

你妈又在上演悲伤的独角戏了

Last night, she went to see A Doll's House

昨天晚上她和几个闺蜜

总监小酸奶

with a couple girlfriends, and now she has ideas.

去看了《玩偶之家》今天就来了主意

I emerged from my sanctum, this afternoon,

我下午从内室出来的时候

to discover that not only had she not made me lunch,

发现她不仅没有给我做午饭

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人人影视官方客户端唯一下载渠道

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which is a meal I need in order to live,

那可是我续命的食粮

but she'd furthermore,

更过分的是

locked herself in the bedroom to weep... loudly.

她把自己锁在卧室里嚎啕大哭

Now, it's one thing for a woman to weep,

女人哭是一回事

but when they do it at such

但当她们的哭声

a volume you can hear it through the door,

大到隔着门都能听见的时候

then you know they're doing it just for the attention.

你就知道她们这么做只是为了引起注意

Anyway, I was able to cobble together a sandwich for myself,

总之我最后成功地给自己搞了个三明治

so, I'm the real hero of the story.

所以我才是真正的主人公

It was a couple hours later

几个小时后

when I realized I was on a good run with my novel.

我意识到自己的小说写得太顺手了

I had this really interesting

我文思如泉涌

sentence that kept going for pages and pages,

一个妙句连着写了好几页

and I thought about how rare

我就想今天难得

it is to really get in the groove like that.

状态能这么好

How, most days, I can't concentrate

平常我是多么的难以集中

because my idiot child is blasting the television,

因为我的蠢儿子总是把电视开得巨大声

and it suddenly dawned on me; hot cock on a rock,

突然我意识到乖乖啊

she never even picked up the little noise and snot factory!

她都没去接那个鼻涕虫烦人精

So, here I am, being your mother,

所以我来了做你的好妈妈

which I know is giving you

我知道这会让你

all sorts of mixed-up ideas about gender,

对性别认知产生混乱的想法

while your brain is still loose and stupid.

特别是你的脑子还缺根弦少根筋的

Just remember,

记住

if you become a queer later in life, this isn't my fault!

如果你将来成了基佬并不是我的错

Don't you sing no songs in your

不许你在夜店里

nightclub act called, "My Daddy was My Mommy,"

演出时唱什么"爹地就是妈咪"的破歌

while gazing longingly at a tangled string of pearls.

同时眼巴巴地望着一串缠在一块的珍珠项链

Pearls are for ladies, BoJack.

珍珠是女人戴的东西波杰克

Pearls are for ladies.

珍珠是女人的东西

You know Sunday is my writing day.

你知道周日是我的写作日

Sundays are the one day that are just for me and my craft,

周日是我唯一可以和我的作品独处的日子

and still, you and the black hole that birthed you

就这样你和你那个黑洞般的妈

conspire to ruin it for me.

还要串通一气毁了它

What am I supposed to do now? Just go back to writing?

现在我该怎么办回去继续写吗

I'm out of the zone now, the whole day's shot!

我已经完全没状态了这一天全毁了

All because of you and that brittle wisp of a woman

都是因为你和那个哭哭啼啼的女人

you made the mistake of making your mother.

你就不该让她成为你妈

No. It's not her fault.

不这不是她的错

She's doing the best she can, after all.

毕竟她已经尽力了

It's just that... you can't depend on women.

只是你不能指望女人

You can't depend on anyone.

你不能指望任何人

Sooner or later, you need to learn

你迟早会明白的

that no one else is gonna take care of you.

没人会照顾你

That's what I learned when I had to make my own sandwich.

我在给自己做三明治的时候领悟了这个道理

You can't rely on other people, BoJack.

你不能依靠别人波杰克

It's good for you to know that.

现在知道对你有好处

And she's a good mother for teaching you that.

她能教会你这点说明还是个好妈妈

You've got a head start on most kids.

比起其他孩子你已经赢在了起跑线上

You're actually very lucky.

你其实很幸运

Thaaaaank youuuuu?

谢谢呢

马男波杰克第五季第六集

So, I stopped at a Jack in the Box, on the way here,

所以来的路上我顺道去了玩偶匣

and the girl behind the counter said,

店里的女服务生对我说

"Hiya! Are you having an awesome day?"

你好呀你今天是不是过得很棒

Not, "How are you doing today?"

不是那种你今天过得怎么样

No. "Are you having an awesome day?"

而是充满期待你今天是不是过得很棒

Which is pretty shitty because

问得特别的矫情

it puts the onus on me to disagree with her,

好像我不同意她就是我的责任

like if I'm not having an "Awesome day,"

如果我没有过得"棒棒哒"

Suddenly I'm the negative one.

突然间我就充满负能量

Usually, when people ask how I'm doing,

通常人们问我过得怎么样

the real answer is I'm doing shitty,

真相是我过得很糟糕

but I can't say I'm doing shitty

但我不能这么说

because I don't have a good reason to be doing shitty.

因为我没有正当的理由过得很糟

So if I say, "I'm doing shitty,"

如果我说糟心透了

Then they say, "Why? What's wrong?"

他们就会问为什么出什么事了

And I have to be like, "I don't know, all of it?"

我就得回不知道全都不顺心吧

So instead, when people ask how I'm doing,

所以当人们问我过得怎么样

I usually say, "I am doing so great."

我通常都说过得好极了

But when this girl at the Jack in the Box

但当玩偶匣的这个女孩

asked me if I was having an awesome day,

问我是不是过得很好时

I thought, well, today I'm actually allowed to feel shitty,

我想今天我可以过得很糟糕

today I have a good reason,

因为我有合适的理由

so I said to her, "Well, my mom died."

于是我对她说我妈妈过世了

And she immediately burst into tears.

然后她突然泪如泉涌

So, now I have to comfort her, which is annoying,

我还得反过来安慰她真是烦死了

and meanwhile, there's a line of people forming behind me,

同时我后面还排着一堆人

who are all giving me these real judgy looks

用批判的目光瞪着我

because I made the Jack in the Box girl cry.

因为我把快餐店的女服务生说哭了

And she's bawling, and she's saying, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,"

她放声大哭嘴里说着"对不起对不起"

and I'm like, "It's fine. It's fine.

我就安慰没关系没关系

I mean, it's not fine, but, you know, it's... fine.

我是说并不是很好就是没事

And I would like to order a Double Jack Meal,

我想点一份双层杰克堡套餐

and I've kinda got somewhere to be,

我还得去别的地方

so maybe less with the crying and more with the frying, huh?"

所以能不能擦干泪水挥洒汗水做汉堡

And the girl apologizes, again,

然后女孩又道了一次歉

and she offers me a free churro with my meal.

她在我的套餐里加了根免费的油条

And as I'm leaving, I think, "I just got a free churro

离开的时候我想我吃了根免费的油条

because my mom died."

就因为我母亲去世了

No one ever tells you when your mom dies, you get a free churro.

没人说过妈妈过世后可以吃到免费的油条

Anyway, I'm sorry,

总而言之我很抱歉

that's not part of the... All right.

本来没打算好吧

Okay, here we go. Let's do this.

好吧重新来正式开始

Here I am, BoJack Horseman, doing a eulogy, let's go.

马男波杰克正在致悼词开始吧

Hey, piano man, can I get like a, like an organ flourish?

钢琴小哥能不能给我来段管风琴华彩

Nicely done. You know, I was a little worried

很好我本来还担心

I wouldn't have the right accompaniment today.

今天会没有合适的伴奏

I guess it's a good thing my mom was an organ donor!

我想这就是我母亲作为器官捐献者的好处

organ兼有器官和管风琴之意

What happened to the organ?

怎么不是管风琴

Why don't you leave the comedy to the professionals?

把喜剧效果留给专业人士来吧

Okay? This is a funeral, sir, for my mother.

好吗这是我母亲的葬礼先生

Can you show a little respect?

能否表现出一点尊重

I'll take it.

就这样吧

Beatrice Horseman, who was she? What was her deal?

马男碧翠斯她是谁一生是怎样的

Well, she was a horse.

首先她是一匹马

Uh, she was born in 1938. She died in 2018.

她生于1938年死于2018年

One time, she went to a parade,

有一次她去参加了一场游行

and one time, she smoked an entire cigarette in one long inhale.

还有一次她一口气抽完了一整支烟

I watched her do it.

我亲眼看到的

Truly a remarkable woman.

真是个不可思议的女人

Lived a full life, that lady.

这个女人度过了完满的一生

Just, all the way to the end, which is, uh, now, I guess.

直到人生尽头大概就是现在吧

Really makes you think, though, huh?

是不是很引人深思

Life, right?

这就是人生

Goes by, stuff happens. Then you die.

时光匆匆世事无常奔向死亡

Well, that's my time, you've been great!

我到点了你们听得好认真

Tip your waitress!

记得给服务员小费

No, I'm just kidding around, there's no waitress.

我开玩笑的这里没有服务员

But seriously that's all I have to say about my mother.

但说真的关于我妈我就说这些

No point beating a dead horse, right?

没必要说死人的坏话不是吗

So... Now what? I don't know, Mom, you got any ideas?

现在怎么办我不知道妈你有主意吗

Anything?

有吗

Mom?

妈

No?

没有吗

Nothing to contribute?

没什么想说的吗

Knock once if you're proud of me.

要是为我骄傲就敲一下棺材板

Can I just say how amazing it is to be in a room with my mother,

我能说能和我妈共处一室说个不停

and I can just talk without

她不会让我闭嘴

her telling me to shut up and make her a drink?

去给她倒酒是多幸福的一件事吗

Hey, Mom. Knock once if you think I should shut up.

妈想让我闭嘴就敲一下棺材板

No? You sure?

不用吗你确定

I mean, I don't want to embarrass you,

我可不想让你难堪

by making this eulogy into a me-logy,

这悼词是歌颂你的不是歌颂我的

so, seriously, if you wanted me to sit down

所以说真的如果你想让我坐下

and let someone else talk, just knock. I will not be offended.

让别人来讲话就敲一下我不会生气的

No? Your funeral.

不用吗你的葬礼你说了算

Sorry about the closed casket, by the way.

话说抱歉把你棺材盖合上了

She wanted an open casket,

她想要敞着棺材盖的

but, you know, she's dead now, so who cares what she wanted?

不过现在她死了谁在乎她怎么想

No, that sounds bad. I'm sorry.

不这话可不好听抱歉

I think that if she could've seen what she looked like dead,

我想要是她能看到自己死后的样子

she'd agree it's better this way. She looked like this.

她也会同意这样更好她死相可糟了

Kinda like a pissed-off toy dinosaur.

有点像气急败坏的恐龙玩偶

The coroner couldn't get her eyes closed.

入殓师没法让她合上眼睛

So, now her face is forever frozen

所以现在她的脸永远都是

in a mask of tremendous horror and anguish.

一副极度可怕和痛苦的表情

Or as my mom called it, Tuesday!

或者按我妈的说法周二的表情

Tuesday! My mom called it Tuesday.

周二我妈称之为周二

Hey, Mom, what did you think of that joke? You like that?

妈你觉得这个笑话怎么样你喜欢吗

You never did care for my comedy.

你从来都不在乎我演的喜剧

Here's a story.

讲个故事

When I was a teenager,

我十几岁时

I performed a comedy routine for my high school talent show.

我在高中天才秀上表演了一出喜剧

There was this cool jacket that I wanted to wear

有一件很帅的外套我很想穿

because it would make me look like Albert Brooks.

因为穿上它我就像艾伯特·布鲁克斯

美国演员编剧导演

For months, I saved up for this jacket,

我为那件外套存了几个月的钱

but when I finally had enough,

但等我终于存够了钱

I went to the store and it was gone.

我走进商店那外套却不见了

They had just sold it to someone else.

他们刚刚卖给别人了

So, I went home and I told my mother.

然后我回家告诉了我妈

She said, "Let that be a lesson.

她说 "算是给你个教训

That's the good that comes from wanting things."

这就是心存期望的下场"

She was really good at dispensing life lessons,

她很擅长传授人生哲学

that always seemed to circle back to everything being my fault.

似乎所有的不幸到头来都是我的错

But then, on the day of the talent show,

但那之后在演出那天

my mother had a surprise for me.

我妈给了我一个惊喜

She had bought me the jacket.

她给我买了那件外套

Even though she didn't know how to say it,

虽然她不知道如何表达

I knew this meant that she loved me.

我知道这意味着她爱我

Now, that's a good story about my mother.

这才是有关我妈的好故事

It's not true, but it's a good story, right?

这不是真的但是个好故事不是吗

I stole it from an episode of Maude I saw when I was a kid,

我从小时候看过的一集《穆德》里抄来的

美国情景喜剧

where she talks about her father.

戏里主角在说她爸爸的故事

I remember when I saw it, thinking that's the kind of story

我还记得我看到这一幕时就想这才是

I want to tell about my parents when they die.

那种我想在父母葬礼上讲述的故事

But I don't have any stories like that.

但我没有这样的故事可讲

All I know about being good

所有让我成为一个好人的事

I learned from TV.

都是从电视上学来的

And in TV, flawed characters

而在电视上有缺陷的角色

are constantly showing people they care

总是用这种惊人的善举

with these surprising grand gestures.

来告诉别人自己在乎他们

And I think that part of me still believes that's what love is.

而我觉得我内心中仍然相信这就是爱的真义

But in real life, the big gesture isn't enough.

但在现实生活中善举远远不够

You need to be consistent, you need to be dependably good.

你得从始至终的好无可置疑的好

You can't just screw everything up,

你不能搞砸了所有事

and then take a boat out into the ocean

再驾着一条小船出海

to save your best friend,

去救你的挚友

or solve a mystery, and fly to Kansas.

或是解开一桩谜案就飞往堪萨斯

You need to do it every day, which is so... hard.

你必须时时刻刻都当个好人这真是太难了

When you're a kid, you convince yourself

小时候你会对自己说

that maybe the grand gesture could be enough.

或许给你点善举也就够了

That even though your parents aren't what you need them to be,

虽然你的父母不是你所希望的样子

over and over and over again,

一次又一次辜负你

at any moment they might surprise you,

但偶尔他们可能也会给你惊喜

with something... wonderful.

让你体会美好的瞬间

I kept waiting for that, the proof

我一直在等待这一刻等某一刻

that even though my mother was a hard woman,

来证明虽然我妈是个铁石心肠的女人

deep down, she loved me and cared about me

但在内心深处她是爱我关心我的

and wanted me to know

并且她想让我知道

that I made her life a little bit brighter.

我给她的生活带来了一丝光亮

Even now, I find myself waiting.

就算是现在我发现我还是在等

Hey, Mom, knock once if you love me and care about me,

妈如果你爱我关心我想告诉我

and want me to know I made your life a little bit brighter.

我给你的生活带来了一丝光亮就敲一下

My mother did not go gentle into that good night.

我妈没有"温顺地走进那良宵"

She went clawing and fighting and thrashing,

她死前奋力挣扎抓挠蹬踹

hence the face.

所以才一副惨相

If you'd seen her,

如果你见过她的死相

I swear to God the only thing you'd be thinking about right now

我对天发誓现在你们唯一会想的

is that I am nailing this impression.

就是我的形容真是贴切之至

I was in the hospital with her those last moments,

在生命的最后时日我在医院里陪她

and they were truly horrifying,

那段时间真是让人毛骨悚然

full of nonsensical screams and cries,

充满了荒谬的尖叫和呐喊

but there was this moment, this one instant of strange calm,

但有那么一刻很奇怪她平静了好一会

where she looked in my direction and said, "I see you."

她望向我所在的方向说 "我看到你了"

That's the last thing she said to me.

这是她对我说的最后一句话

"I see you."

"我看到你了"

Not a statement of judgment or disappointment,

不是什么批判或者不满

just acceptance and the simple recognition

只是简单地接受和承认

of another person in a room.

屋子里有另一个人

"Hello, there. You are a person. And I see you."

"你好你是个人我看到你了"

Let me tell you,

我告诉你们

it's a weird thing to feel at 54 years old,

54岁时才感到这辈子第一次

that for the first time in your life your mother sees you.

你妈终于正视你了这真的很奇怪

It's an odd realization that it's the thing you've been missing,

奇怪的是你意识到原来这就是你一直所缺少的

the only thing you wanted all along, to be seen.

一直以来你想要只是被看见

And it doesn't feel like a relief, to finally be seen.

而最后你被看见了并没有感觉解脱

It feels mean, like,

而是感觉很糟糕

"Oh, it turns out that you knew what I wanted,

"原来你早就知道我想要什么

and you waited until the very last moment to give it to me."

而你却等到最后一刻才给我"

I was prepared for more cruelty.

我本已准备好接受更残忍的事实

I was sure that she would get in one final zinger,

我原想着她一定会最后数落我一番

about how I let her down, and about how I was fat and stupid,

说我如何让她失望我又肥又蠢

and too tall to be an effective Lindy-hopper.

个子太高跳不了林迪舞

How I was needy and a burden and an embarrassment.

我太粘人是个负担让她难堪

All that I was ready for.

我本准备好任她奚落

I was not ready for "I see you."

我没准备好听她说"我看见你了"

Only my mother would be lousy enough to swipe me

只有我妈会这么差劲在临死前

with a moment of connection on her way out.

用一瞬的温情来摧毁我

But maybe I'm giving her too much credit.

或许是我把她说得太好了

Maybe it wasn't about connection.

或许这和温情无关

Maybe it was a... Maybe it was an "I see you,"

或许这只是或许这句"我看见你了"

Like, "I see you."

是说"被我发现了"

Like, "You might have the rest of the world fooled,

就像是"或许你能骗得了全世界

but I know exactly who you are."

但我很清楚你是什么样的人"

That's more my mom's speed.

这才是我妈的作风

Or maybe she just literally meant "I see you.

又或许她的意思就是"我看见你了

You are an object that has entered my field of vision."

你是一个进入了我的视野的东西"

She was out of it at the end, so maybe it's dumb

她最后已经神志不清了所以或许

to try to attribute it to anything.

不该试图解读她的意图

Back in the 90s,

回想九十年代

I was in a very famous TV Show called Horsin' Around.

我参演了一部非常火的电视剧《胡闹的小马》

Please hold your applause.

请不要鼓掌

And I remember one time, a fan asked me,

我记得有一次一个粉丝问我

"Hey, um, you know that episode

"你记得有一集

where the horse has to give Ethan a pep talk,

伊桑发现他暗恋的人邀请他跳舞

after Ethan finds out his crush only asked him to the dance

只是因为她和朋友在进行很蠢的约会比赛

because her friends were having a dorkiest date contest?

所以小马不得不鼓励伊桑吗

In all the shots of the horse,

小马所有的镜头中

you can see a paper coffee cup on the kitchen counter,

你都能在厨房的柜台上看见一个纸咖啡杯

but in the shots of Ethan, the coffee cup's missing.

但是在伊桑的镜头中咖啡杯不见了

Was that because the show was making a statement,

那是不是因为那部剧想表达一种观点

about the fluctuant subjectivity of memory

主观记忆是波动的

and how even two people can experience the same moment

以及两个人对同一时刻居然可以

in entirely different ways?

有两种完全不同的感受

And I didn't have the heart to be, like,

我不忍心说出口

"No, man,

"不是的

some crew guy just left their coffee cup in the shot."

那是某个工作人员把自己的咖啡杯落在片场了"

So instead, I was, like... "Yeah."

所以我说"是吧"

And maybe this is like that coffee cup.

或许这就像那个咖啡杯

Maybe, we're dumb to try

或许试图给每件小事

to pin significance onto every little thing.

都冠以一个冠冕堂皇的意义很愚蠢

Maybe, when someone says,

或许当有人说

"I see you," it just means, "I see you."

"我看见你了" 只是"看见你了"的意思

Then again, it's possible she wasn't even talking to me.

再说了很有可能她都不是在跟我说话

Because, if I'm being honest, she wasn't really looking at me,

因为老实说那时她并没有看着我

she was looking past me. There was nobody else in the room.

她在看着我身后的某处房间里没有别人了

I think she was talking to me, but, honestly,

我觉得她在跟我说话但其实

she was so far gone at that point, who knows what she was seeing.

她那时已经进入弥留之际谁知道她看什么

Who were you talking to, Mom?

你在跟谁说话妈

Not saying, huh? Staying mum?

不说话吗继续保持沉默[妈]

No rimshot there?

此处没有击鼓吗

God, whatever I'm paying you, it's too much.

天不管我付了你多少钱都太多了

Maybe, she saw my dad.

或许她看见了我爸

My dad died about ten years ago

我爸大约十年前过的世

of injuries he sustained during a duel.

因为他在决斗中受了伤

When your father dies, you ask yourself a lot of questions.

当你的父亲过世时你会问自己很多问题

Questions like, "Wait, did you say he died in a duel?"

比如 "等下你是说他死于决斗"

and "Who dies in a duel?"

"谁会死于决斗"

The whole thing was so stupid.

整件事都太蠢了

Dad spent his entire life writing this book,

我爸一生都在写书

but he couldn't get any stores to carry it,

但没有一家店卖这本书

or any newspapers to review it.

也没有一张报纸评价了这本书

Finally, I guess this one

终于有了一家报社

newspaper thought he was pretty hilarious,

我猜他们是觉得他很搞笑

because they ran a review and tore him to shreds.

因为他们写了一篇评论彻底打垮了他

So, my father, ever the Proud Mary,

所以我的父亲曾经的骄傲玛丽

decided he would not stand for this besmirchment of his honor.

决定再也不能忍受对他名誉的如此诋毁

He claimed the critic

他声称这名评论家

didn't understand what it meant to be a man,

不明白作为男人的意义

so he demanded satisfaction in the form of pistols at dawn.

所以他要求在凌晨手枪决斗来解决

He wrote the paper, this letter,

他给这家报社写下了一封信

saying anyone who didn't like his book,

说任何不喜欢他的书的人

he would challenge to a duel, anyone in the world.

他要与其决斗所有人

He'd even pay for airfare

他甚至愿意支付

to San Francisco and a night in a hotel.

来旧金山的机票和酒店住宿一晚的费用

Well, eventually this found its way to some kook in Montana,

最后这愿望在一些蒙大拿的疯子身上实现了

who was as batshit as he was and took him up on the offer.

这些人和他一样疯接受了他的决斗之请

They met at Golden Gate Park and agreed:

他们在金门公园碰面并达成一致

ten paces, then shoot.

数到十然后开枪

But in the middle of the ten paces,

但在数数的过程中

Dad turned to ask the guy if

爸爸转过身问那个人

he'd actually read the book and what he thought,

他有没有真的看过这本书和他的观点

but, not looking where he was going,

但他没看路

tripped over an exposed root and bashed his head on a rock.

被一根暴露在外的树根绊倒头撞上了一块石头

I wish I'd known to go to Jack in the Box then.

真希望我那时知道去玩偶匣

Maybe I could have gotten a free churro.

也许能得到一根免费油条

It would've been nice to have something to show

也算是作为巴特斯科齐·马男的儿子

for being the son of Butterscotch Horseman.

能拿出来吹嘘的事迹了

My darling mother gave the eulogy.

我亲爱的母亲发表了悼词

My entire life I never heard

我这辈子都没听她说过

her say a kind word to or about my father,

我父亲半点好话

but at his funeral she said,

但在葬礼上她说

"My husband is dead, and everything is worse now."

"我的丈夫去世了现在所有事都更糟了"

"My husband is dead, and everything is worse now."

"我的丈夫去世了现在所有事都更糟了"

I don't know why she said that.

我不知道她为什么这么说

Maybe she felt that's the kind of thing

或许她觉得葬礼上

you're supposed to say at a funeral.

应该这么说

Maybe she hoped one day someone would say that about her.

或许她希望某天有人也会这样评价她

"My mother is dead, and everything is worse now."

"我母亲去世了现在所有事都更糟了"

Or maybe she knew that he had frittered away

又或许她已经知道了他把所有

all her inheritance, and replaced it with crippling debt,

她的遗产都挥霍光了只留给她沉重的债务

which is a pretty shitty thing to leave your widow with.

给自己的遗孀留下这些真的是很渣

"Bad news, you lost a husband,

"坏消息你失去了丈夫

but don't worry, you also lost the house!"

不过别担心你的房子也没了"

Maybe Mom knew she'd have to sell all her fancy jewelry

或许妈妈已经知道她得变卖所有高级珠宝

and move into a home.

搬到一个普通房子中去

Maybe that's what she meant by "Everything is worse."

或许她说"所有事都更糟了"是这个意思

Is that what you meant, Mom?

你是这个意思吗妈

I gotta say, I'm really carrying this double act.

不得不说我这双簧唱得真是太棒了

美国超红魔术节目主持人

At least with Penn and Teller,

至少佩恩与特勒这一对

the quiet one does card tricks.

不说话的那个还要变纸牌魔术

Hey, piano man, when I say something funny to my mom,

弹琴的我跟我妈讲笑话时

how about you give me one of those rimshot?

你给我来两声鼓点怎么样

Yeah, but not now.

对但现在别敲

When I say something funny. Like, okay.

等我讲笑话时再敲比如

What's the difference between my mother

我妈和细菌的破坏性驱

and a disruptive expulsion of germs?

有什么区别

One's a coughin' fit and the other fits a coffin!

一个引起咳嗽一个躺进棺材[音似]

That's an example of a funny thing.

这样才叫讲笑话

Thank you. Let's try again.

谢谢咱们再试一次

Hey, Mom. What's the difference

妈我妈和一堆

between my mother and a bunch of Easter eggs?

复活节彩蛋有什么区别

One gets carried in a basket, the other gets buried in a casket!

一个装进小篮子另一个埋进小匣子

Ready for one more? Last one.

还想再听一个吗最后一个

What's the difference between a first-year lit major

文学院一年级生和我妈马男碧翠斯

and my mother, Beatrice Horseman?

有什么区别呢

One is decently read, and the other's a huge bitch!

一个饱读诗书另一个就是个贱人大混蛋

Might have gone a little too far with that one.

这个笑话可能开的有点过了

That one might have been a

对在座各位来说

little too "My mom's a huge bitch" for the room.

说"我妈是个贱人大混蛋"有点过分了

I'm sorry, Mother. You're not a huge bitch.

抱歉妈妈你不是个大混蛋

You were a huge bitch... and now you're dead.

你生前是个贱人大混蛋现在你死了

You know, the first time

跟你们说我第一次

I ever performed in front of an audience,

在观众面前进行表演

it actually was, uh, with my mom.

其实是和我妈一起的

She used to put on these shows,

她从前总会进行演出

with her supper club in the living room,

就在她在客厅举办的晚餐舞会上

and she used to make...

她会让我...

She used to make me sing "The Lollipop Song."

她会让我唱《棒棒糖之歌》

Those parties, they were really something.

那些派对真是豪华

There were skits and magic acts,

会演滑稽短剧有魔术表演

and ethnically insensitive vaudeville routines,

还有不涉种族问题的歌舞杂耍

and the big finale was always a dance my mother did.

而最后总是以我妈的一舞收尾

She had this beautiful dress

她有一条漂亮的裙子

that she only brought out for these parties,

她只在这些派对上穿出来

and she did this incredible number.

她跳过很多次

It was so beautiful and sad.

这真是又漂亮又悲哀

Dad hated the parties. He'd lock himself in the study,

爸爸讨厌派对他会把自己所在书房

and bang on the walls for us to keep it down,

邦邦锤墙好让我们小点声

but he always came out to see Mom dance.

但他总会出来看妈妈跳舞

He'd linger in the doorway, scotch in hand,

他会站在门口手握苏格兰威士忌

and watch in awe, as this cynical,

用惊讶的目光看着他娶的这个

despicable woman he married... took flight.

愤世嫉俗卑劣不堪的女人翩然起舞

And as a child who was completely terrified of both my parents,

作为一个被我爸妈吓坏了的小孩

I was always aware that this moment of grace,

这一刻在我心中的感觉却是那么美好

it meant something.

此中定有深意

We understood each other, in a way.

某种程度上我们是互相理解的

Me and my mom and my dad, as screwed up as we all were,

我和我妈还有我爸我们虽然都悲惨不堪

we did understand each other.

但确实都相互理解

My mother, she knew what it's like to feel your entire life

我妈妈非常明白她的整个人生仿佛就像

like you're drowning with the exception of these moments,

水慢慢没过头顶般溺水但这些时刻是例外

these very rare, brief instances,

这些非常稀少短暂的瞬间

in which you suddenly remember... you can swim.

此时你突然记起你是会游泳的

But, then again, mostly not.

但是我再次强调大多数时候不是

Mostly you're drowning.

大多数时候都是溺水状态

She understood that too.

她也明白这点

And she recognized that I understood it. And Dad.

她也知道我和爸爸也明白这点

All three of us were drowning,

我们三人都淹在水里

and we didn't know how to save each other,

我们不知道如何拯救对方

but there was an understanding

但我们都明白

that we were all drowning together.

我们要一起溺水而亡

I would like to think that's what she meant

在医院里她说"我看到你了"时

when we were in the hospital and she said, "I see you."

我想这就是她想表达的意思

The weird thing about both your parents being dead

奇怪的是当你父母皆亡时

is it means that you're next.

这意味着下一个死的就是你了

I mean, you know,

我是说

obviously it's not like there's a wait list for dying.

当然并不是说死亡还有排队叫号的

Any one of us could get run over

任何时候我们谁都有可能

by a Snapchatting teen at any moment.

让一个正自拍的青少年开车撞死

And you would think that

你们以为明了这一点

knowing that would make us more adventurous,

会让自己显得更具冒险精神

and kind, and forgiving.

更加和善宽容

But it makes us small, and stupid, and petty.

但这让我们变得渺小愚蠢微不足道

I actually had a near-death experience, recently.

其实我最近就有一次濒死经历

A stunt went bad and I fell off a building.

做特技失败了我摔下了楼顶

I'm an actor. I do my own stunts.

我是个演员亲自上阵演特效

I'm on this new show Philbert.

我出演新剧《菲尔伯特》

I'm Philbert. Star of the show.

我演菲尔伯特本剧主演

It hasn't come out yet, but it's already getting Emmy buzz.

剧还没播出但艾美奖已经频频来电了

Oh, speaking of buzz...

说到这个

I'm supposed to take two of these every morning,

我应该每天早晨吃两片这药

but my days are so screwed up 'cause of the shooting schedule,

但我的日子因为拍摄日程搞得一团糟

I don't even know what morning means anymore.

我连早晨是什么意思都不知道了

There's a joke in there somewhere,

我这段话里埋了个笑话的

about a guy who's been to so many funerals,

说的是一个人出席了太多次葬礼

早晨和哀悼音似

he doesn't even know what mourning means anymore.

最后连哀悼是什么意思都不知道了

Let you guys figure that one out for yourselves.

你们自己想笑点在哪儿吧

Anyway, you know what I thought...

总之你们知道我摔下大楼

when I was falling off the building and I went into panic mode?

进入恐慌模式时我是怎么想的吗

The last thing that my

我愚蠢的大脑

stupid brain could come up with before I died?

在死前想到的最后一件事是什么

"Won't they be sorry."

他们不会难过吗

Cool thought, brain.

想得漂亮大脑

No, that wasn't...

不这个不是...

Would you just... Dial it back, all right?

你能不能...重来好吗

I don't even know what "They" I wanted to be sorry.

我都不知道我希望会难过的"他们"都是谁

My mom, even before she died, could barely remember who I was.

我妈在死之前几乎都记不得我是谁

And of course, my dad's dead.

而且当然我爸已经死了

The last conversation I ever had with him was about his novel.

我和他最后一次说话谈的是他的小说

He was so certain this book was his legacy.

他当时那么坚信这本书会成就他的传奇

Maybe he thought it would vindicate him

或许他以为这本书能证明

for all the shitty things

他在这毫无价值的愚蠢一生里

he ever did in his stupid worthless life.

做过的所有破事都是对的

Maybe it did. I don't know. I never read it.

或许是吧我也不知道我从没读过

Because why would I give him that?

我为什么要让他如愿呢

I used to be on this TV show called Horsin' Around.

我曾出演过一部叫《胡闹的小马》的剧

Seriously, hold your applause.

说真的先忍着别鼓掌

Well held.

忍得真好

It was written by my friend Herb Kazzaz, who's also dead now,

剧本是我朋友赫比·哈萨克写的他也死了

and it starred this little girl named Sarah Lynn.

剧中女主的扮演者名叫萨拉·琳

And it was about these orphans.

电视剧讲的是孤儿的事

And early on, the network had a note,

一开始时网上有条建议

"Maybe don't mention they're orphans so much,

"或许别总提起他们是孤儿的事

because audiences tend to find orphans sad and not relatable."

因为观众会觉得孤儿很可怜没有共鸣"

I never thought the orphans were sad.

但我从来没觉得那些孤儿很可怜

I always thought they were lucky

我一直觉得他们很幸运

because they could imagine

因为他们可以随意想象

their parents to be anything they wanted.

自己的父母是自己想要的样子

They had something to long for.

他们有期盼

Anyway, we did this one season finale,

不管怎么样我们拍一集季终集时

where Olivia's birth mother comes to town.

是讲奥利维亚的生母回到镇上

And she was a junkie, but she's gotten herself cleaned up,

她是个瘾君子但是戒干净了

and she wants to be in Olivia's life again.

她想重新回到奥利维亚的身边

And of course, she's like a perfect grown-up version of Olivia,

当然了她就像奥利维亚长大后的完美复刻

and they go to the mall together

她们一起去商场

and get her ears pierced, like she's always wanted and--

一起打耳洞就像她一直想要的那样

Sorry, spoiler alert for the season six finale of Horsin' Around,

抱歉如果你还在奇怪我说的是什么剧

if you're still working your way through it.

《快乐的小马》第六季季终剧透预警

Anyway, the horse tries to warn her, "Be careful,

然后小马想提醒她 "小心点

moms have a way of letting you down."

妈妈总会让你失望"

But Olivia just thinks the horse is jealous,

但是奥利维亚认为小马只是在嫉妒

and when the mom says she's moving to California,

然后当妈妈说她要搬到加州去后

Olivia decides to go with her.

奥利维亚决定和她一起走

And the network really juiced the cliffhanger:

然后电视台简直给大家吊足了胃口

''Is Olivia gone for good?''

"奥利维亚永远离开了吗"

But of course, because it's a TV show, she was not gone for good.

但当然了这是电视剧她不会永远离开

Of course, because it's a TV show,

当然了这是电视剧

Olivia's mother had a relapse and had to go back to rehab,

奥利维亚的妈妈复吸回到了戒毒所

so Olivia had to hitchhike all the way home,

于是奥利维亚只能一路搭车回家

getting rides from Mr. T, Alf, and the cast of Stomp.

一路遇见了T先生埃尔夫和斯坦普的人

Of course that's what happened.

当然会这样了

Because, what are you gonna do, just not have Olivia on the show?

因为你还能怎么办把奥利维亚砍掉吗

You can't have happy endings in sitcoms, not really,

情景喜剧不会有圆满大结局不会的

because, if everyone's happy, the show would be over,

因为如果大家都很开心那剧就结束了

and above all else, the show... has to keep going.

不管怎么样剧...得继续拍

There's always more show.

永远有更多集

And you can call Horsin' Around dumb, or bad, or unrealistic,

你可以说《快乐的小马》蠢烂或者不现实

but there is nothing more realistic than that.

但这才是最现实的情况

You never get a happy ending, 'cause there's always more show.

你不会看到圆满结局因为永远有更多集

I guess until there isn't.

可能直到最终没有了吧

My mom would hate it if she knew

我妈妈要是知道我在她的葬礼上

that I spent so much time at her funeral

花了这么多时间说我原来拍的电视剧

talking about my old TV show.

肯定会气死的

Or maybe she'd think it was funny that her idiot son

也可能她会觉得她唯一的儿子连这都做不好

couldn't even do this right. Who knows?

简直是太可笑了谁知道呢

She left no instructions for what she wanted me to say.

她没知会过我她希望我说些什么

All I know is she wanted an open casket,

我只知道她想要开棺

and her idiot son couldn't even do that right.

她的蠢儿子连这都办不好

I'm not gonna stand up here and pretend

我不会站在这里假装

I even understood how to please that woman,

我知道该怎么取悦这女人

even though so much of my life

即便我人生中的很多时间

has been wasted in vain attempts to figure it out.

都浪费在对此的思考之上

But I keep going back to that moment in the ICU

但我一直回想起在重症监护室里

when she looked at me, and...

她看着我然后说

"I-c-u."

"ICU"[缩写音同我看到你了]

"I... see... you."

"我看到你了"

Jesus Christ, we were in the intensive care unit.

上帝啊我们当时在重症监护室

She was just reading a sign.

她只是在念指示牌

My mom died and all I got was this free churro.

我妈妈死了而我只有这根免费的油条

You know the shittiest thing about all of this?

你们知道最糟心的是什么吗

Is when that stranger behind the counter gave me that free churro,

当柜台后的那个陌生人给我免费油条时

that small act of kindness showed more compassion

这小小的善意之举中所流露出的同情

than my mother gave me her entire goddamn life.

比我妈妈这辈子给予我的都要多

Like, how hard is it to do something nice for a person?

好好对一个人能有多难

This woman at the Jack in the Box didn't even know me.

玩偶匣的那个女人甚至都不认识我

I'm your son.

我是你的儿子啊

All I had was you!

我只有你啊

I have this friend.

我有一个朋友

And right around when I first met her,

我初见她时

her dad died, and I actually went with her to the funeral.

她父亲死了我陪她去了葬礼

And months later, she told me that she didn't understand

几个月后她告诉我她不明白为什么自己

why she was still upset, because she never even liked her father.

还是很难过因为她从来就不喜欢她父亲

It made sense to me,

我觉得很合理

because I went through the same thing when my dad died.

因为我父亲死后我也经历过这样的阶段

And I'm going through the same thing now.

现在我又在经历这样的事

You know what it's like?

你知道这是种怎样的感觉吗

It's like that show Becker, you know, with Ted Danson?

就像那部《贝克》泰德·丹森演的

I watched the entire run of that show,

我整部剧都看了下来

hoping that it would get better, and it never did.

希望剧情能变好但却一直没有

It had all the right pieces,

明明拥有各种天时地利

but it just-- It couldn't put them together.

但就是...就是没办法结合起来

And when it got canceled,

这部剧被砍后

I was really bummed out, not because I liked the show,

我真的很难过不是因为我喜欢那部剧

but because I knew it could be so much better,

而是因为我知道明明能拍得更好

and now it never would be.

而现在没有机会了

And that's what losing a parent is like.

这就是失去父母时的感觉

It's like Becker.

就像《贝克》

Suddenly, you realize

突然间你意识到

you'll never have the good relationship you wanted,

你再也不会拥有你想要的和谐关系了

and as long as they were alive, even though you'd never admit it,

本来只要他们还活着就算你从来不会承认

part of you, the stupidest goddamn part of you,

你内心中总有那么愚蠢的一部分

was still holding on to that chance.

依然抱着这种奢望

And you didn't even realize it until that chance went away.

等到这种奢望彻底化为乌有你才意识到

"My mother is dead, and everything is worse now."

“我妈妈去世了现在所有事都更糟了"

Because now I know I will never have a mother

因为现在我知道永远不会再有一个妈妈

who looks at me from across a room and says,

从房间那头看着我说

"BoJack Horseman, I see you."

"马男波杰克我看到你了"

But I guess it's good to know.

但我想知道了也好

It's good to know that there is nobody looking out for me,

知道没有人会照顾着我也好

that there never was, and there never will be.

从来没有过也永远不会有

No, it's good to know

不知道我只能

that I am the only one that I can depend on.

依靠我自己也好

And I know that now and it's good. It's good that I know that.

我现在知道了很好我知道了也好

So... it's good my mother is dead.

所以...我妈妈去世了也好

Well. No point beating a dead horse.

废话多说[打死马]也没用

Beatrice Horseman was born in 1938,

马男碧翠斯生于1938年

and she died in 2018, and I have no idea... what she wanted.

死于2018年我不知道...她想要什么

Unless she just wanted what we all want...

除非她想要的和我们都一样

to be seen.

被人看到

Is this Funeral Parlor B?

这里是殡仪馆B馆吗

马男波杰克 第五季 BoJack Horseman Season 5 第6集: 免费吉拿棒 Free Churro

台词

马男波杰克第五季 BoJack Horseman Season 5 第6集: 免费吉拿棒 Free Churro